Posted 11:25 PM by Gene

How many infants died in New York while Honorary Mayor Mike was busy putting his all into banning TRANS-FATTY ACIDS?

Posted 11:10 PM by Gene

Another STUPID chain radio station holds another STUPID contest which in this case causes a listener to die, which leads us to think the companies that dream up such stunts (no this was NOT a CHEAP CHANNEL, but it was big enough) deserve the corporate equivalent of what happened to SADDAM.

(Via The Mess)

Posted 2:53 PM by Gene

And in still more good news, Stanley Kauffmann, the oldest movie ad-blurbist around, concocts a top-sixteen list, but when we started going over them and found at least several grossed less than $500,000, and they were all R movies, we could predict the rest, and we stopped looking. If the people who put their names above the title are one reason to stop reading the ad-blurbists, Stanley's top-sixteen list is another.

Posted 1:41 PM by Gene

Elsewhere in the world of good news, the TWXSTERS cable news noise launches a feature about "people we should know", which sounds for all the world like that series of logrolling interviews Lou "THE CORPORATE POPULIST" Dobbs used to run under the name Pinnacle. Only in BIGMEDIA does an old idea become new with its hundredth reuse.

Posted 1:37 PM by Gene

What news could be almost as good as our losing in Iraq? One of our new heroes doubling His salary!

Posted 7:42 PM by Gene

It's nice to know GM's in recovery mode, but the company will have to do a lot more than recover.

Posted 7:36 PM by Gene

The hard work of a SUPERACTRESS:

"I hate sex scenes and kissing scenes," the engaged actress, 31, tells the February issue of VEGAS Magazine. "It's just an uncomfortable situation for everybody. 'Put your elbow over here, find your light here.' It's not really natural and just awkward."

She even admits that her Desperate Housewives on-again, off-again husband Ricardo Chavira is a bit turned off by steamy scenes, mainly because they have a brother-sister relationship.

"He tells me all the time: 'People say, "You get to kiss Eva Longoria" – and he goes 'Yeah, whatever.'"

If you were Rita Hayworth he might not say that.

Posted 7:29 PM by Gene

One way to look at THAT @#$%&* FEUD is to burp that "two people who through hyperbole and bloviation have transformed themselves into pop culture personalities." Another way to look at it is that NEWS HACKS have put them in a greenhouse, turned on every last ultraviolet lamp, given them plenty of water and plant food, and blasted them with carbon-dioxide-rich doses of HOT AIR. Nobody TOLD the hacks to turn these blithering idiots into "pop culture personalities" -- and thankfully the hacks can deny THEY did it.

Posted 7:26 PM by Gene

The persecutor -- PROSECUTOR in the Dukie "rape" case dug himself in so deep he wants a "special prosecutor" to help dig him out.

Good luck!

Posted 7:13 PM by Gene

Is Sen. Boobs McKeating showing courage, or foolishness -- or both?

Posted 7:05 PM by Gene

The Dems have passed two "symbolic" pieces of -- LEGISLATION in two days. No wonder even the hacks aren't impressed.

Posted 10:10 AM by Gene

HAHVAHD MUTUAL FUND expands its corporate campus!

"This is not just about bricks and mortar," said Christopher Gordon, chief operating officer of the Harvard University Allston Development Group, which oversees the university's planning in Allston.

And HAHVAHD MUTUAL FUND isn't about ROI.

Posted 10:03 AM by Gene

Another writer suggests charging Nukeman with fomenting genocide. It's worth a try but it WILL NOT WORK as the "international community" does not recognize genocide against Jews as a crime.

Posted 9:58 AM by Gene

EMI is headed for a bloodbath.

The value of the UK music market, including digital downloading, declined by 14pc during October and November and the DVD market also fell in value. [Emphasis added]

It isn't all piracy. How many people are pirating DVDs? No, the big problem is JUNK, and no one will say it.

Posted 9:45 AM by Gene

THE NPCPCAA engages in NATION CREEP.

If the WORLD'S LEADING PROFESSIONAL COLLEGIATE ATHLETIC LOBBYING GROUP is seeking out members in other nations, while it's at it why doesn't it go whole hog and merge with PROFESSIONAL LEAGUES?

Posted 9:31 AM by Gene

What is the purpose of GE Bancorp and Realty? Is it a holding company? A conglomerate? What is the point of buying and selling and wheeling and dealing all these assets? To us Bancorp looks sometimes like a Tyco with a good rep and a triple-A bond rating. Maybe Republicans can explain the point of it.

Posted 5:19 PM by Gene

Honest to God, Mark, our prosperity rests on a hollow core. Just telling people they can make more money with "Western values" (whatever those happen to be at the moment) is not enough. Despite its teeming hate Islam can win because it has a hereafter, unlike our "civilization", which is all here and no after.

Posted 5:15 PM by Gene

I suggest this will have the same earth-shattering impact that Pele's move to the U. S. did. Soccer, face it, is from a different time zone, and requires patience to watch, something most sports fans lack. Or to put it another way, soccer is BOOOOOOOOOOORING.

Posted 5:02 PM by Gene

GET A LIFE! Damfools who MUST have the latest gizmos and find the gizmos run their lives have nobody to blame but themselves. Is it really necessary or desirable to be ON CALL all the time?

And it figures this article quotes sociologists and psychologists, proof positive there is now no defense from the gizmos.

Posted 12:34 PM by Gene

Okay, gasbags, I want to know -- why is THE EDWARD R. MURROW OF COMEDY an ENTERTAINER?

(Via the usual Romy)

Posted 11:01 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: A couple of super-rich (largely on OUR largesse) bigmouthed broads get into a fight to see who has the huger ego, a battle of which we COULD NOT CARE LESS.

Posted 10:01 AM by Gene

Alas, NRO has given up on the Dubya:

On style, Tom Shales correctly remarks here how tense, anxious and rigid Bush looked last night. Frankly, as he has over the past few weeks, Bush looked like a man who is in way over his head, which he is. The man who got the country into this hole, and whose neglect and incompetence dug us deeper into into it, looks like a man who would like nothing more than to get back to Crawford. We'd all be better off if he would.

What would Victor Davis Hanson say?

P. S.

None of the major broadcast networks bothered to carry the Democratic response to the Bush speech as delivered by Sen. Dick Durbin (D-Ill.), but Durbin's spiel did play on the Fox News Channel, MSNBC, CNN and public TV. Durbin managed the dubious feat of failing to look into the camera, apparently addressing a small group of reporters whom viewers did not see. He was anything but eloquent.

Doesn't anybody want to run this country?

Posted 9:45 AM by Gene

Hey Democrats! You have company:

Iran, Syria Denounce Bush's Iraq Plan

Posted 9:23 AM by Gene

Already NANCY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s achieving results: Toyota's thinking of building five new plants in America -- for JOHN DINGELL!

Posted 9:20 AM by Gene

Bad news, Jimmy: Your CRIM$ON TIDE isn't going to win another national title without a FIGHT.

Posted 9:07 AM by Gene

OH oh, BRENT's finally complaining about violence -- and he has COMPANY:

Federal Communications Commission member Michael J. Copps, a longtime critic of TV violence, joined the group at a news conference Wednesday and warned broadcasters that the government might act if programming wasn't voluntarily toned down.

"People are concerned about this race to the bottom," he said. "They wonder if there even is a bottom...."

IN SHOW-BIZ?

George Gerbner, in 1997:

The V-chip is not the solution. That technology merely protects the industry from the parents, rather than the other way around.

If DR. EVIL ever read that he probably collapsed to the floor in a heap of hysterical laughter.

Posted 8:57 AM by Gene

Jimmah gets to come to Brandeis after all. Now will the students show some moxie?

Posted 8:52 AM by Gene

I'M RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT OF NICARA -- THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!

Posted 5:15 PM by Gene

OH oh, the League of Nations' new boss earns high praise:

Your reputation as a "slippery eel", earned by carefully avoiding difficult press questions during your tenure as South Korea's foreign minister will serve you no good in this new post.

You kidding? That was at the top of his résumé!

Posted 5:02 PM by Gene

Newspapers should make it clear that "surge" is Bush's term

Okay -- provided you make it clear "civil war" is yours.

(The usual Romy link)

Posted 3:35 PM by Gene

Another part of our childhood goes: Yvonne De Carlo, who must forever be known among the boomers for that piece of junk called The Munsters, has died.

"But it would be a shame if that's the only way she is remembered. She was also one of the biggest beauty queens of the `40s and `50s, one of the most beautiful women in the world. This was one of the great glamour queens of Hollywood, one of the last ones."

AMEN. RIP.

Posted 3:29 PM by Gene

The FIRST columnist to doubt the Late King What's-His-Name was worth that much to the DOG Star?

Posted 3:27 PM by Gene

Here's the STREET's idea of a darling: Sears Holdings. The more its sales go down the more its stock goes up!

Posted 1:10 PM by Gene

It appears the hacks have a new line of defense -- it was OUR LEADERS who LOST (we hope) THE WAR!

Yes, Dubya's management has been incompetent at best. But back in Vietnam the hacks did more than a useful bit to demoralize the body politic -- and it matters not when it started, or if they were so pound-the-table gung-ho in the beginning, it happened. Many news hacks have rooted against us in this venture for some time. They should realize, though, that if they get their way we could have something worse than what happened to the Vietnamese and the "Kampucheans" -- and unlike the last time their profit margins may be a little lower too.

(Via the usual Romy)

Posted 1:00 PM by Gene

Your cat misbehaves. It misbehaves a lot. You can 1. Get rid of the cat or 2. Give it Prozac.

NANCY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How about a health-care plan for PETS?

Posted 12:59 PM by Gene

"There will remain a state called Israel, this is a matter of fact," Meshaal said in an interview in the Syrian capital, where he lives in exile.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww shucks!

Posted 11:49 AM by Gene

PANIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Warmest year ever
Average temperature in U.S. last year? 55, highest on record.
• ... But subzero chill looms here

Posted 10:50 AM by Gene

SLIME is not going to "FOX-IFY" MYSPACE?!?!?

The company that almost gave us O. J.'S HYPOTHETICAL MURDER has suddenly backed away from the GOD of SYNERGY?!?!?

"Many big advertisers are not advertising on YouTube yet. One, they're not sure about the content and there is no scarcity value."

TRANSLATION: They can't waste money on the Web the way they can on television.

(Via IWantMedia)

Posted 9:45 AM by Gene

BAD NEWS for The Paper of Re-CORD: In our haste to make fun of PEOPLE NEWSRAG's head-over-heels "changes" we did not see one small thing: its Web site has made its archive free. We've said before that cheaper storage (and bandwidth) would make the idea of charging for newspaper archive access moot. We congratulate the TWXSTERS for biting the bullet and hope PINCH will someday come to HIS senses.

Posted 8:56 AM by Gene

If the iPhone is a replacement for the iPod, it's a winner. If it's a replacement for cell phones, it's awfully big for a cell phone.

The idea of embedded software is most interesting. We've been promised that every appliance would be its own computer. That hasn't happened yet, and we're probably lucky for it.

Posted 8:52 AM by Gene

Ordinarily we might make fun of a movie producer whose marriage was more famous than his films, but when the producer was Carlo Ponti and his wife was Sophia Loren, you definitely do not make fun of it.

Posted 8:23 AM by Gene

To its credit the WaPost hints there may be a downside to raising the minimum wage. One thing we can say with certainty: in reporting on this a lot of the hacks have spoken to a lot of people they wouldn't speak to otherwise.

Posted 6:07 PM by Gene

This annoying buzzword-clotted piece hints at MadAve's new stratagem: To try to control the message under the rubric that the PEOPLE decide. In short, they're still the same old marionettists, only they've been humbled -- very slightly; and just because the strings are a little tangled now doesn't mean the puppet masters can't untangle them and make us their puppets again. Indeed high-tech's vaunted advances make it easier because they allow these Reverse Robin Hoods to be invisible. Unfortunately decades of exposure to their vile odors have left us believing in conspiracies more than ever.

And where's all this really brilliant stuff on YouTube, Jeff Goodby? All I see are old TV clips and stupid pet tricks.

Posted 5:55 PM by Gene

Campaign for Iraq Pullout Hits YouTube

It seems to have hit the ASSPress too, which has somewhat bigger numbers.

Posted 5:42 PM by Gene

BIG NEWS in the WONDERFUL WORLD of SHOW-BIZ: THE GREATEST COMEDIAN EVER is doing what he probably shouldn't be doing -- opening his mouth! (Luckily it was to THE MOGUL'S FRIEND, who no doubt said, "Don't worry about me, pal -- it'll be just like talking to a friendly psychiatrist.") (Via ShowBizData) And HORRORS, the Directors Guild has snubbed THE GREATEST DIRECTOR EVER! What shall He do -- declare two wars on the Directors Guild?

Posted 5:17 PM by Gene

A CONSERVATIVE SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGER FEARS FOR THE REPUBLIC:

Earlier today CONGRESSIONAL SOURCES alerted me to provisions within "H.R. 1" which would PUT A VITAL SECURITY INITIATIVE UNDER THE "AUTHORITY" OF THE UNITED NATIONS!!!!!!!!!!

...SEC. 1221. PROLIFERATION SECURITY INITIATIVE IMPROVEMENTS AND AUTHORITIES.

(a) Sense of Congress- It is the sense of Congress, consistent with the 9/11 Commission's recommendations, that.... [Emphasis and righteous furious OVEREMPHASIS added]

I don't like the wimps who think up the Democratic foreign policy schemes, and yes this sort of screwy thinking infects the whole party. But this is, in so many words, JUST CONGRESS'S OPINION. It is NOT binding law. But turn the BLOGGERS OF THE MILLENNIUM and the LITTLES and the HUGH THREESEATS loose and you have a CONSTITUTIONAL CRISIS!!!!!!!!!!

I HATE SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS!!!!!

(Via THE CORNER -- but surprisingly not Ms. Travers -- which is SCARED TOO!!!!!)

Posted 5:02 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: Apple is now the new G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE, and BIG-C-MAD investors will make its market cap a HALF TRILLION! A TRILLION!!! TWO TRILLION!!!! EIGHTY GIGAZILLIONS!!!!!!!!!! THE SKY'S THE LIMIT!!!!!!!!!!

And so's the ground.

Posted 3:53 PM by Gene

Yes it's merely SELIGISM now, but the boys who vote them into Cooperstown chose VERY well.

Posted 10:03 AM by Gene

Sad news at The Greatest Gadget Show Known to Man:

Microsoft Corp. Chairman Bill Gates' 10th keynote address to the Consumer Electronics Show may well be his last.

Gates dropped a big hint to that effect Sunday night, when he said in his speech in Las Vegas that if he does return to the huge trade show, he wouldn't be speaking about computers or electronics.

"I've already warned them that if I do come back, I'll be talking about infectious diseases," said Gates, whose philanthropic foundation is spending billions of dollars to fight health problems in developing countries.

But isn't computing an infectious disease?

Posted 9:41 AM by Gene

LAST THREE GRAFS:

As a former college professor, I won't deny that it's a little irritating that coaches make millions while faculty salaries average less than $50,000. Then again, there are only 119 Division I-A football programs and 32 NFL head coaches; only a handful of them make a million or more. By contrast, there are innumerable college teaching slots and each opening gets dozens if not hundreds of qualified applicants. And few teachers can bring the school a multi-million dollar windfall by being good at their job.

Finally, it should be noted that athletic competition and educational attainment are not zero sum. Paying coaches less would not mean we'd pay teachers more. Indeed if Saban helps Alabama win more football games, he'll generate millions more for the University's academic budget.

James H. Joyner, Jr. writes about public policy issues at Outside the Beltway. He is a 1995 PhD graduate of the University of Alabama's political science department and was a student there when the Tide won its most recent of twelve national football championships in 1992. [Rah-rah CRIMSON TIDE emphasis added]

NUF SAID.

Posted 9:37 AM by Gene

Ireland, "neutral" during WWII, was friendly to Nazis.

Why was every "neutral" nation friendly to Nazis? And why would a nation side with human slime just to get back at the oppressive Brits?

Posted 9:20 AM by Gene

I know, I KNOW this is advocacy reporting, and I know, I KNOW people like the Hosiers get lots of government aid, and I know, I KNOW that a government mandate raising wages may be counterproductive, but would a minimum-wage hike cost that much more than a hundred Bob Nardellis?

Posted 8:56 AM by Gene

And in other news of the vastly expanding TWXSTER empire, PEOPLENEWSRAG.com has its own version of THE CORNER. Let's see: Ana Marie "Snark" Cox is Ms. Travers, Joe "The Novelist" Klein is Jo-NAH, and...

Nah, I prefer Coke Classic.

Posted 8:52 AM by Gene

BRAINSTORM OF THE DAY:

Chavez Gets More Power by Nationalizing

Posted 8:34 AM by Gene

SIX OF ONE:

The ads also claim that Wal-Mart's employees get health benefits for less than $1 a day and that the company contributed $245 million to local charities last year.

HALF-A-DOZEN OF THE OTHER:

"Our research found that when Wal-Mart comes into any area, it reduces earnings of the community by 1.3% and the worst affected are black workers and others of color," says Steven Pitts, a labor policy specialist at the University of California, Berkeley, who took part in the conference call.

I believe both sides can go to Hell, which may be the least partisan place there is.

Posted 8:09 AM by Gene

THE ASSPRESS TYPETYPETYPETYPETYPES:

But it was his creation of Scooby-Doo, the cowardly dog with an adventurous heart, that captivated audiences and endured for generations.

Puh-LEASE! Any shows starring THE VOICE of CASEY KASEM!!!!! will smell worse than Manhattan yesterday. And of course it was another Bill-Joe recycling job: a brown Astro rounded off. We can see Bill and Joe now: "Iwao! No original ideas!" They probably had contests to see who could draw a Scooby-Doo episode the fastest. The episodes lost. We sound too surly -- clearly Mr. Takamoto was a talented man; he had to be to have worked with Walt. But how would you know with Bill and Joe?

Forgive us our ire, but we're still chafing over the incalculable loss to mankind of several weeks back, plus the sad news was conveyed by "Warner Bros.", which sounds like just another way of selling the properties.

Posted 6:55 AM by Gene

I'm a little surprised we haven't heard from the holy cockroaches' vast propaganda outreach of civilian casualties. Of course they can talk, being the EXPERTS.

Posted 6:45 AM by Gene

Oh it must have been a delicious sight last night at the TOSTITOS BOWL, all those CEOs and other high mucky-mucks chuffing on their cigars like a steam locomotive up a steep grade, the glowing hot points bright enough to light the stadium, burning the tobacco so efficiently they didn't leave a stink, mad that the game they were entitled by a kind of royal fiat to watch was such a limp wet dishrag -- at least those CEOs and other high mucky-mucks who didn't fall asleep. It is always so thrilling to see these championship games built up to such an awful let down. Now (as I've said before) the six-digit typists can't regale us with fairy tales of a "classic", and now those execs can only harass their employees for two months, and not three. But it does appear the hacks at least have made up for it by leaving out one word is from the heroic recapitulations: BORE. Perhaps there's a reason for that.

And congratulations to Florida, champions in professional college football and basketball. That's quite an -- achievement. ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz.

Posted 6:32 PM by Gene

EBAY HAS A PROBLEM: Has anyone noticed that dirty pictures pop up at the top of certain categories -- like CDs and DVDs? Click on one of the pictures in IE7 and you get word you've just hit a PHISHING SITE. No such notification in Firefox 2.0. And if you go ahead and click through you get an "eBay" screen demanding your ID -- an unusual enough behavior -- and a quick scan of the address bar should dissuade an alert Web surfer from going any further. But one isn't always alert, and more such scams could bring eBay down; God knows it's allowed enough of the garden-variety kind. Don't these clowns even care?

SCORE ONE FOR BILL! I'm changing my office computer's browser from IE6 tomorrow.

P. S. eBay and its PayPal unit have accounted for nearly HALF of all PHISHING TARGETS. This is an outrage.

Posted 6:02 PM by Gene

The ROSIE-DONALD FEUD is going on three weeks now, and the hacks continue to waste their resources and our time covering it. Isn't it time for them to report on something a little more worthwile -- like, say, BRITNEY?

Posted 5:52 PM by Gene

Another hack accidentally stumbles and falls over the truth:

[T]he authentic experience of interning at a glossy magazine goes unexplored by the popular arts—by necessity, perhaps, as it would alienate a popular audience, only shaping up as a nightmarish hybrid of Beckett, Sade, and The Office. (It would be an epic documentary about cassette-tape transcription.)

And not just cassette tapes -- and not just glossy rags.

Posted 12:34 PM by Gene

That peculiar practical joke called the Principality of Sealand is up for sale. We suggest Slashdot's fans pitch in and have it relocate there.

Posted 12:03 PM by Gene

We do not know who Edward Wasserman is, but he's come up with another one:

I may be alone in saying this, but of all the improper influences on the flow of publicly significant news -- from commercialism to deliberate disinformation -- the one that is almost never discussed and yet which may be more profoundly corrupting than any of the others is, in my view, the beat system. The wisdom of beats rests on the idea that journalism can flourish in a setting where a journalist's professional success utterly depends on the continuing cooperation of the same people that the journalist is supposed to badger, provoke, expose and, in sum, hold accountable on the public's behalf. And that is totally illogical.

PRECISELY. The Congress, business, real estate, show-biz, sports -- all these things and more cannot be covered because reporters are busy logrolling their sources and looking for jobs. This helps explain why punditry stinks, not to mention why ad-blurbists can last on the job for five decades. This "sclerotic" system MUST go.

(Via Romy. Way to go!)

Posted 11:08 AM by Gene

Another Polish Catholic preacher has resigned due to -- collaboration.

Who else?

(Updated story)

P. S. The NEW! IMPROVED!! PEOPLENEWSRAG.COM!!! calls the campaign against Archbishop Wielgus a "witch hunt." Okay, maybe it's a "far-right" thing; but doesn't collaboration, er (to use JOSH's favorite word), UNDERCUT one's moral authority a little?

Posted 10:40 AM by Gene

All those excruciating ads with Lincoln and the beaver? THEY DIDN'T WORK!

Worse, Takeda may have spent more on ads than the drug made back in sales: between January and September 2006, Rozerem earned $48.7 million in estimated wholesale revenue, according to IMS Health (that number does not include prescriptions handled by mail). But the company has spent nearly $100 million on ads, per Nielsen Monitor-Plus.

Pffh-hh-hh hh hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 9:00 AM by Gene

Lynn Johnston is partially retiring her preachy comic strip "For Better or For Worse" in favor of (trendy word of the week) a "hybrid." (We didn't even know she was retiring it, which shows what a broad swath the comics cut these days.)

We would note that when James Thurber's poor eyesight ended his drawing career The New Yorker rejiggered some of his cartoons with new captions. The magazine stopped when people noticed.

Posted 8:56 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: The Every Kid a Dilbert Act is dumbing our kids down differently.

Posted 8:31 AM by Gene

Somehow inventing a number around American Idol ("A $2.5 BILLION FRANCHISE!!!!!!!!!!") and lousy "viral" ad campaigns from the 80-something Reverse Robin Hoods do go together.

IF IT'S BAD IT'S IN AD...AGE!

Posted 8:07 AM by Gene

PEOPLE NEWSRAG is trying to be "unconventional." It cannot be. You don't get far in the media biz being unconventional. Certainly you can't get far in a company that's had the fear of Luce and has lately fired lots of folks by being unconventional. We can imagine how many times Richard "Can Anyone Here Edit This Magazine?" Stengel has uttered the moral equivalent of "You're absolutely right, sir!" and "Whatever the boss thinks, I think." We can also understand why Josh "ER" Tyrangiel is "highly regarded"; he has that superior-pleasin' mix of Ivy League-educated philistinism and synergy, seasoned with a dose of attitude. These two think by improvising some allegedly well-written essays and tons of HIP show-biz and techie junk among sheets of ever-skinnier paper they'll turbocharge a 1923 jalopy; but the WaPosties' rag already has the zeitgeist down pat, and we suspect in five years there'll be new geniuses -- if PEOPLE NEWSRAG lasts that long.

(Via MediaBistro)

P. S. We see the rag has finally redone its Web site. This is a revolution?

Posted 6:47 AM by Gene

Another great ahtiste is incarcerated for -- his miniature daVincis.

Ross said: "It's a myth that there's some art component to it."

Someone was allowed to say this -- in PINCH's outpost? For shame!

Posted 8:41 PM by Gene

Surprise: The Holier-Than-Thou World-Saving-Twins' Foundation invests in companies that counteract its noble donations.

This especially galls given this fund was started largely out of PR, and especially the over-assiduous attention the Bugmeister and St. Warren pay to inspiring puff pieces. And if those who run the fund are upset by criticism, too bad.

Posted 5:43 PM by Gene

Ford and Microsoft have teamed up to put software in vehicles that links a driver's cellphone and digital-music player to the car.

ERRR....

Posted 5:30 PM by Gene

Two 55-gallon containers...an Iraqi national...when the driver was stopped at the security gate, he appeared nervous and would not make eye contact during questioning...two other Middle Eastern nationals hiding in the truck's cab....

Yep, nothing to worry about.

P. S. At 9:00 p.m. I shouldn't post these CHARLES JOHNSON!!!!!!!!!! stories -- this was apparently another outstanding job of "miscommunication."

Posted 5:25 PM by Gene

BILL RICHARDSON FOR SECRETARY OF STATE!

Posted 5:17 PM by Gene

The last thing a controversial company should do to defend itself is use ADS. Automatically they make one ask what's missing. Wal-Mart has become the master at two-left-footed PR; it sounds like the company's adding another left foot.

Posted 4:40 PM by Gene

It would seem the most effective detriment to these awful deaths of motoring teenagers would be 1. To not license drivers until they're AT LEAST eighteen, and 2. To revoke a license for a painful-enough period -- say, two to five years -- if a teenage driver is drunk. But I guess that's draconian (or in our age's favorite word, JUDGMENTAL) so we'll still drop flowers near trees, and wring our hands.

And it goes without saying the Trib is at a loss:

Some measures show promise. Contracts between parents and teen drivers can help--particularly, experts say, if violations can result in losing driving privileges.

But it will take more than parent-teen pacts and more laws to solve the problem. It won't be solved by an overhaul of driver's education, either, or a friend telling another to cool it.

It will take all that and sacrifices, intensely local efforts, comprehensive research and measures we haven't even found yet. It will take a persistent commitment, which, for many, may seem daunting.

But it can start with something as simple as clicking a seat belt.

Which may explain why its PARENT is in the news more than its employees might like.

Posted 3:12 PM by Gene

Four score and, er...The only thing we have to fear is, er...ASK NOT, er....

DAMMIT, I'M RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT!

Well actually, he does have a line:

"I'll be Joe Biden and I'll try to be the best Biden I can be!"

Even if I have to be someone else!

Posted 3:05 PM by Gene

The debate over stem cells is a de facto debate over abortion. Anything that can eliminate the "necessity" for taking human life in any form is always welcome; but we must beware of these breakthroughs from news hacks, as they have a habit of getting broken.

Posted 3:02 PM by Gene

OooooOOOOOoooooh, NANCY! and the majority leader she didn't want can't agree whether to withhold money from DUBYA's war!

When Republicans disagree, we call it DEEP DIVISIONS. When Democrats disagree we call it THE SOUND OF SILENCE.

Posted 10:30 AM by Gene

Elsewhere in the nation's new challenger to The Onion:

Kate Winslet Vanishes Into Her Roles

Consider that hed for a second. Replace the name with -- oh, Bette Davis. Or Katharine Hepburn. Or Barbara Stanwyck. Or Sophia Loren. Or Marilyn. Can you? You can't. But we are assured this is (to use USAOKAY!!!!!'s idiot phrasing) -- an ac-TOR. Okay, so Kate can vanish into her roles -- which makes it more likely she and her masterworks (and rest assured, they ARE masterworks) will vanish into oblivion.

A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK award to SYLVIANE!

Posted 10:28 AM by Gene

Who knew The Paper of Re-CORD was into satire?

Posted 10:22 AM by Gene

It is increasingly evident the world, lacking any guts, will have to rely on Israel to take out Iran's nukes. Let's hope it knows what it's doing.

Posted 10:15 AM by Gene

Meantime we wonder how many eager reporters (LAID-OFF and otherwise) SKNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNX'S HUGE salary could pay for, to write and think better than he, and to leave the CW wheezing in the dust -- just as his columns wheeze.

Posted 10:08 AM by Gene

Here the StinkyInky has just laid off 68, and some WaPost scribbler and photog get press passes to drool over some hoops megalomaniac's 25th birthday bash.

Is there a disconnect here? And may we fervently hope a paper that so insults its readers can suffer its own layoffs?

A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK award to Teresa!

Posted 10:03 AM by Gene

It is a wonder that Archbishop Wielgus's compromise took so long to see the public light, which makes one further wonder -- how many other East-Bloc Catholic leaders are similarly compromised?

Posted 9:55 AM by Gene

Okay, JonBoy -- a cover story on...menopause. (Bleeeeeeeeeeeech!) I guess that means we must be LOSING somewhere, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

In the INTERNATIONAL editions: "Bioinvaders", China's coal industry (almost as dirty as ours, I gather), Latin America's hoity-toity class. Nope, I guess you decided to let your dogma take the week off. We'll be watching NEXT week! And now -- you're ALONE!

Not even a story on our savior NANCY!? Or is she post-menopausal?