Posted 5:58 PM by Gene

EGYPT: Muslim Brotherhood leader says uprising's main goal has been achieved

And what goal is that?

P. S. Though we are somewhat reassured all that money we've given Egypt is likely to buy their friendliness with us, although God knows we had a friend in the Shah too.

Posted 5:52 PM by Gene

On the one side: the fat, greedy AFSCME.

On the other side: fat, greedy Republicans who want to eliminate labor unions.

Something must be done about decades of AFSCME-inspired profligacy, but pay government workers McDonald's wages and you'll get McDonald's service.

Six of one, the KOCHES vs. GEORGE SOROS, a plague o' BOTH your houses....

Posted 1:09 PM by Gene

EGYPT: Switzerland freezes possible Mubarak assets

So much for that one.

Posted 11:46 AM by Gene

Hey Groupon! How much negative publicity for your NOW-PULLED AD did your big buy buy?

But there's one thing it can't take from the CEO: "I WAS AT THE SUPER BOWL AND YOU WEREN'T!!!!!!!!!!"

Posted 11:33 AM by Gene

Uh, GANG OF 27, how many of your comrades are in Egypt?

Judging from your enthusiasm, WE CAN GUESS.

Posted 11:11 AM by Gene

Finally, The Thug comes to his senses.

Now what?

P. S. Now would seem to include the military -- for a long, long time.

It would inform the world to know if this was a coup, as some have postulated. If it was not it was a de facto one.

P. P. S. How much money went with him?

P. P. P. S. Does Egypt try The Thug for crimes against the state or leave him to luxuriate in his alleged billions?

Posted 8:31 AM by Gene

George H.W. Bush, Country’s Most Sporting President, is Going to the World Golf Hall of Fame

FORE!!!!!

And why not make it a twosome with Dan QUAIL, QUAYYL -- QUAYLE?

Posted 9:32 PM by Gene

While using a download service to get another discontinued album we came across an ad with a cute anime-like avatar for something called Zwinky. Zwinky is -- but let its parent tell it:

Zwinky is more than just a virtual world; it’s a fast-growing online community where social interaction reaches new heights. This Mindspark product encourages users to showcase their individuality by creating distinctive avatars, decorating personal dorm rooms, playing casual games and connecting with others in the world of Zwinktopia, the center of all the action. Members have access to a wide array of wardrobe and furnishing options; however, users can further enhance their experience by purchasing exclusive clothing, accessories and decor using Zwinktopia’s unique online currency, ZBucks™.

Zwinky has also become one of the hottest online destinations for today’s young talent. Artists such as 50 Cent, American Idol Winner [SIC] Jordin Sparks, Aly & AJ, Lil Mama and Kelly Rowland have all leveraged their brands within Zwinktopia. The same can be said for some of the most well-known and trusted consumer products companies in the world such as Nike, Sketchers, Sears, Shoebuy.com [!!!!!] and many others. Zwinky.com continues to expand its offerings, and with more than 18 million registered users to date, the world of possibilities is limitless.

Zwinky has over 20 million registered users [Make up your minds!] who average 54 minutes on the site each session; also [SIC] garners 8.1 million unique monthly users (comScore May 09) [SIC] [Twenty-one months ago?????]

Zwinky works with a wide range of artists who have leveraged their brand and music in Zwinky's virtual world, Zwinktopia, including 50 Cent, American Idol winner Jordin Sparks, Aly & AJ, Lil Mama and Kelly Rowland [SIC] [These names ring a bell; where have I heard them before?]

Product Releases:

● Gifting (using Zbucks to buy items for users on your Zwinky friends list)

● ZGreetings (leveraging and linking to our MyFunCards product)

● Zwinky Gift Cards (available in Target stores)

● Music listening parties for Crash Romeo, Danity Kane, Day 26

● Movie promotion in Zwinktopia for Fox Nim's Island generated 640k unique visits,

● 1.9mm video streams and 700k downloads of Nim's-branded virtual items

● Shoebuy boutique launched in Zwinktopia

Zwinky's parent lives in a building designed by the Leaky Superstarchitect. It's run by the man who used to be the Second Coming of Christ.

It's official -- there's another high-tech bubble.

P. S. Its Quantcast profile is not flattering -- and some of the specifics make no sense. A little more air, please!

Posted 7:40 PM by Gene

We must agree: Jon Kyl is "an all-around good guy", and we're sorry to see him go too.

Posted 7:16 PM by Gene

“While unemployment is a terrible circumstance for individuals and families, I am sure some companies believe they are better off with fewer people and are hiding behind a supposedly weak economy to keep their ranks thin, focusing instead on greater productivity from their current employees and ensuing higher margins,” said Stephen Weiss of Short Hills Capital.

TRANSLATION: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

“The stock market can do fine in the face of weak employment because that’s the very thing that insures continued Fed accommodation,” said James Iuorio, managing director of TJM Institutional Services. “As counterintuitive as it seems, weakness in the labor market and in the housing market are providing fuel for the stock market rally.”

FURTHER TRANSLATION: [I was going to use a picture of the devil as a laughing businessman but they all seem to be owned by one company that puts a big fat WATERMARK on them.]

Posted 11:32 AM by Gene

Opinion: U.S. was blindsided by Egypt

So what else is new?

Posted 11:28 AM by Gene

"Are these prices justifiable based on financial multiples? No."

Are they justifiable based on the Wall Street Casino's need to double every day? YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 9:20 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: The Superstarchitect's latest masterwork isn't quite so mickey-mouse gimmicky as his usual leaky-roof stuff, although it does stick out from some angles like his sore-thumb ego; but when a Paper of Re-CORD cri-TIC says something is genius one is best advised to wait twenty years.

Posted 8:45 AM by Gene

Look folks, this moron didn't resign because he took off his shirt; he resigned because he took off his shirt claiming he was divorced. END OF STORY.

Discretion is the better part of valor, says an old Shakespearean saw totally worthless to Congresspoops as they have neither -- and who better to have spoken it than Falstaff.

Posted 8:35 AM by Gene

YOU'VE GOT CUPID IN YOUR CORNER: If Metro isn't computer-edited it should be. If it isn't it means the interns running the joint don't know their proverbial fat fannies from a hole in the ground, although we doubt anyone there knows his fat fanny either except the ad salesmen. And why are they at Metro? Combine such automatic incompetence with the mind-numbing groupthink of so many trades and is it a wonder America seems at times to be shedding bolts and leaking oil?

Posted 8:32 AM by Gene

The friend of the Jack Valenti of Mortgages is the sole candidate to be the next St. Jack of Valenti!

Posted 7:11 PM by Gene

Slogging through the high-toned-ironic sludge that is Grate.com's house style, I could look at this piece thus: the Web exposes the utter futility of buying things for buying's sake, even if it used to be fun.

Posted 6:54 PM by Gene

We have cited Babbitt as our favorite novel and as one that still speaks too well to our condition. If as many facets of society are as mindlessly, table-poundingly, rigor-mortifyingly conformist as John Tierney says the social psychology biz is -- and we have no reason to disbelieve him -- what hope does America have? How can we continue to govern ourselves led by cliques of incestuous bromide-spouting robots? And what's the difference between these Babbitts and George F. except these clowns are "educated"?

P. S. George F. Babbitt graduated from college too.

(Via NRO)

Posted 6:27 PM by Gene

This topic may NEVER go away: Remembering that his rag had a long-time editor named Sid Bernstein who wrote intelligently on the ad biz -- and sympathetically towards the turnips forced to watch its ads; you don't see that anymore -- the Head Crainiac imagines himself in the same league and puts forth an elaborate mea culpa on why you-know-what-NFL-big-event ads STINK. Really Rance, we know how your outlet has perfected talking out of both sides of its mouth, but did you have to do it better by finding twenty-five more sides?

Insider media "criticism" will always be dishonest as it has an audience to appease.

Posted 5:38 PM by Gene

Which reminds us -- RON!!!!! PAUL!!!!!!!!!! is still an ass, but for the first time we're grateful he's in Congress.

Posted 5:30 PM by Gene

The rip-roaring performance of The Snob's Supermarket™ Whole Foods plainly says this rip-roaring "recovery" is for the rich only.

Way to go UNCLE BEN!!!!!

The end may be coming into sight for the Federal Reserve’s bond-buying program, even as central bank chief Ben Bernanke warns an ugly jobs market will stick around for a long time to come.

The central bank boss told Congress Wednesday that even in an ideal world it will still take years to bring the unemployment rate down to normal levels. Bernanke made his comments as financial markets fret about a commodity-driven surge in inflation, and as investors struggle to predict whether the Fed will stop short with stimulus efforts rather than add to them.

Ultimately, the important decisions lying before the Fed are uncomfortable, and hint at a time where monetary policy may not have much to contribute to a still troubled economy.

TRANSLATION: Let's see how this recovery does when UNCLE pulls the props out.

Posted 5:28 PM by Gene

WikiLeaks Founder Suggests BofA Documents Are a Dud

So what else is new?

Posted 5:22 PM by Gene

The apparent end of the Guitar Hero "franchise", coming so soon after SUMNER's abandonment of His own version, and the continued decline in all video game sales, underlines this business is a niche activity with no meaning for most people. We suspect the bugs may also be eating away at sales. Apologists would point to social gaming, but you can't play a heavy-duty hardcore video game on an iPad -- yet.

Posted 1:18 PM by Gene

Chrysler can boast that the 2-minute ad, which is long for a Super Bowl commercial, got the new car some much-needed attention. Auto research website Edmunds.com said that after the ad aired, 1,619% more people (about 8,300 in total) went to the site to look at the 200 than typically search for it on a Sunday evening. The problem with the comparison is that few people were looking at the car to begin with. Edmunds says that 681 people on average were shopping the car before the ad aired. An average of 15,911 typically shopped for the competing Hyundai Sonata. Will these new visitors buy the car? That will be the real test. The Sebring sold fewer than 25,000 cars last year. For comparison, Ford sold 219,000 of the competing Fusion. Chrysler got some sizzle with the ad, but there may not be enough substance to generate sales.

If Super Bowl ads moved the goods the way they move NEWS HACKS to write JUNK....

Posted 1:08 PM by Gene

Ex.-Sen. Dennis Day says SARAH!!!!!'s skipping a conservative conference because of what she does best -- needing to make money -- and gets knocked over by the blowback, which proves who runs the GOP.

Posted 1:05 PM by Gene

From the land once ruled by an honorary adolescent:

The BBC is to axe more than 1,000 hours of children's radio programmes on digital station Radio 7 after it emerged that the average age of their listeners is 48.

There'll ALWAYS be an England.

(Via the usual AHTSJournal)

Posted 12:52 PM by Gene

SHUCKS! The man LENNY MACACAED into the Senate's calling it quits after one term. Here a man works as hard as he did and THIS is the thanks he gets!

And the sad thing is LENNY helped make the guy look bad.

And here's the worst part -- in his statement Jim didn't even thank LENNY!

Posted 8:31 AM by Gene

Michelle Obama: President doesn't dye his hair

This doesn't merit an AP NEWSALERT?

Posted 8:16 AM by Gene

BONO!!!!! can save the world but he can't save his own show?

Posted 7:27 PM by Gene

Roger Ebert's New Show Is Delightful and Stylish!!!!! [Delightful home-page overemphasis added]

TRANSLATION: Can I join?

...buoyant ballyhoo....

TRANSLATION: They're thumbs-upping it all the time there too.

Posted 6:38 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



See, not all modern architecture is bad -- in fact we think this is pretty good: light and woody and airy and inviting -- just one thing, though: this community center is in California, meaning it either cost zillions to build or costs zillions to run that the taxpayers can't afford. We hope we are wrong on both points.

Posted 6:24 PM by Gene

Such is the EIN VOLK EIN REICH EIN MEDIA mindset of the state press that when PILLHEAD's Accent says something against AHT we get this notion (is it hearing those jackboots in our head?) that he ought to be shipped to its version of Siberia. Must we say this again -- a BIG reason people hate news hacks is that they think with the unison of 100,000 independent minds.

And why is it the more media outlets proliferate the harder it is to find true independent thought?

I have heard his commentary, by the way. I wish he had written it instead of eructing it.

Posted 6:07 PM by Gene

The good thing about locking up Lindsay is at least people wouldn't hear of her for a while -- which makes us wish for a celebrity crime spree.

Posted 3:26 PM by Gene

GEKKO KUDLOW!!!!! Look behind you -- there's a second GEKKO coming: a knee-jerk conservative (his link) who thinks people are HAPPY!!!!!!!!!! with the economy and that STEVEDOM WILL GO TO $800 QUADRAHEXAGIGAZILLION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, The Big C invented the words "full", "of", and "it" -- and this guy combines all three!

Posted 1:48 PM by Gene

AP NEWSALERT!!!!!!!!!!

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Michelle Obama: President has quit smoking, hasn't smoked in almost a year [SIC]

GASP!!!!!

And COUGH and WHEEZE, too!

Posted 9:20 AM by Gene

Who can you support in this battle of FATSO! vs. the WHINER BROTHERS: Flim or Flam?

Posted 9:06 AM by Gene

The good news is: Now we'll have fewer fairy tales about the worth of Web sites whose popularity is largely invented.

The bad news is -- Well, we hope there's plenty of it for the clowns who buy all those popular Web sites.

Posted 8:56 AM by Gene

The clattering of all those news hacks tap dancing on their desks about RECORD RATINGS!!!!! does not seem to have muffled the roar of DEBACLE.

Lock-OUT! Lock-OUT! Lock-OUT! Lock-OUT!

Posted 11:53 PM by Gene

Sid Harman's wife is resigning from the House, meaning its Democratic contingent becomes even more insufferably liberal.

Posted 11:37 PM by Gene

Not only did Groupon's CEO get to boast, "I WAS AT THE SUPER BOWL AND YOU WEREN'T!!!!!!!!!!", he did it in a way that is the envy of the CEO world -- he ticked off millions of his customers!

"We would never have run these ads if we thought they trivialized the causes — even if we didn't take them as seriously as we do, what type of company would go out of their way to be so antagonistic?" Mason wrote.

TRANSLATION: I WAS AT THE SUPER BOWL AND YOU WEREN'T!!!!!!!!!!

By the way, how many watched outside of the U. S. and Canada?

Posted 11:27 PM by Gene

Gillmor: It’s time for HuffPo to start paying bloggers

Pffh-hh-hh hh hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

P. S. at 11:57 p. m.

But here lies the bright spot in the HuffPo acquisition, and the probable reason for it. If the problem is that we have too many organizations chasing after the same ad dollars, why not roll everyone up and give advertisers fewer choices? Then we can bump the ad rates up. It worked in broadcast TV, when we had three big networks and they operated an oligopoly.

“The age of the Internet content roll-up has begun, all in a desperate effort to pump up CPMs [i.e., advertising rates] and let Internet content reach at least a shadow of the profitability of traditional content,” says Michael Wolff, editorial director of Adweek Media.

Didn't work -- TINA!!!!!

Posted 11:18 PM by Gene

Why must BP's chief lobbyist be back in the news if the only result is to let him boast of more deals?

Prison is too good for Gordon.

Posted 11:04 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



The awkwardly shaped large site at West Side Highway and 57th Street is about to get...

...a building to match!

Posted 11:00 PM by Gene

If America's Left-Wing Tantrum Thrower and the Inventor of the Web play Their cards right They could revive The Sunshine Boys.

Posted 10:59 PM by Gene

Former Pennsylvania Gov. Rendell splits from wife of 40 years

Yep -- the man's ready for HOLLYWOOD!

Posted 10:43 PM by Gene

The news hacks have broken the Spider-Man embargo, starting with Ben, an act that may alas totally prove the irrelevance of theatah cri-TICS and Branson East. Turn Out the Lights has already demonstrated its touristic value -- surely the world knew from the opening announcement it would have no artistic value -- and that may be the only value it needs. We know how the Addams Family theme park succeeded despite pans. Does anyone here remember the write-ups for the Wizard of Oz theme park? No, Branson East is about money, and an uncritical audience, looking for excuses, can easily be suckered into believing it's getting its money's worth. Whether the producers can sucker enough people into a profit remains to be seen. If it can talk of art becomes completely specious, as if it isn't already.

Posted 9:28 AM by Gene

Cheney Hails 'Good Friend' Mubarak

He would be.

Posted 9:20 AM by Gene

Meantime SLIME's version of HuffPo is one big glitch. Someone should tell Him before anyone else: Pioneering don't pay!

Especially when you're trying to get people to pay for it!

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 8:28 AM by Gene

AOL Bets $315 Million on Arianna, Buys Huffington Post to Build 'New American Media Company'

In a stunning development, America Online Inc. announced plans to acquire Time Warner Inc. for roughly $182 billion in stock and debt Monday, creating a digital media powerhouse with the potential to reach every American in one form or another.

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P. S. Steve Case doesn't like it!

1. He should know! 2. Steve who?

Posted 10:05 PM by Gene

Let's see: the infallible JERRAH JOOONES screwed up the seating; the infallible CHRISTINA!!!!! screwed up the national anthem; and the infallible NFL screwed up the halftime. Oh, and the game was no contest despite the "close" score.

NOW LET'S HAVE THAT LOCKOUT!

Caveat: The ASSPress's rock mu-SICK cri-TICK!

P. S. Hey ASSPress! When your entertainment press agents dance on their desks about the RATINGS!!!!! can we have a repeat of last year?!?!?

AS IN:

Posted 9:48 PM by Gene

As close as we'll get to a pretty fair account from the middle of it all in Cairo.

Posted 8:11 PM by Gene

It does not escape us that the UK's prime minister is challenging Islamists, and whatever the screaming about his timing it turned out to be the perfect time, for no Arab country, and no part of the Muslim diaspora, is exempt from terrorists getting the upper hand. The world can never relax its vigilance on Islamism.

Posted 6:57 PM by Gene

I should know better than to expect anyone at GRATE.COM would ever write for me. It seems one of their intellectuals in training (i.e., NOT ANOTHER INTERN!) spotted a nasty piece about THE SECOND GREATEST POP-CULTURE ACHIEVEMENT OF THE LAST QUARTER CENTURY, but natch it is less nasty than lachrymose, because as everyone knows, "WE ARE CURRENTLY LIVING IN A NEW GOLDEN AGE OF TELEVISION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", as evidenced by Jo-NAH's favorite A Kind of Futuristic Retelling of the Aeneid, and the examples this brave soul gives are off the air or have had audiences of less than three percent of the population, so they must be good; and our intrepid iconoclast nowhere mentions that this disappointment, which, with just a little bit of TLC, could be one of the GREAT ONES, gets less than one percent of America viewing. And needless to say after reading this bold, incisive criticism our GRATEr thinks even more highly of the masterwork because it's -- imperfect. "Circle jerk" is egregious but dammit I'm tired of news hacks treating their outlets like a high-school honor society, open to no one else and to no other views.

Posted 5:44 PM by Gene

SLIME is promoting The iPad Daily on His air time, and had one of His wage slaves "leak" the PR through a "blog" on one of His news Web sites -- really, if we're going to have state media let's abandon all the pretenses and just DO IT.

P. S. Excess promotion invites failure.

Posted 1:10 PM by Gene

Yesterday we said "[a]nniversary stories...are like clockwork and tend to be polite or obfuscatory (see TOMORROW)." Well, tomorrow is here. Con-SER-va-tive Web sites are today unreadable, and the same liberals who might silently have rooted for John Hinckley thirty years ago are holding their peace. That means both are being typically dishonest. Let us get first things first: Ronald Reagan did NOT walk on water. There are several things he failed to do: He did not balance the budget or control government spending; he did not end the welfare state; despite the hallelujah chorus he did nothing for the pro-life movement but give it lip service; our national culture became ever more sordid whatever the newfound power of evangelists; despite an effusive "responsibility" taking over Lebanon he did nothing to stop terrorism. Then there are the things he did: He appointed the wizard of Oz, godfather of the high-tech and housing bubbles; he "hit the jackpot" creating the S & L disaster, precursor of the much bigger disaster to come; he sat stone-cold silent during the rogue foreign policy machinations of Iran-Contra. An old poli-sci phrase, "passive-positive", comes to mind; he liked the office but didn't do as much with it as his cheerleaders claim. Some religious leaders may be fallible. In this respect he resembles Ike; a really good guy can obscure a really mediocre presidency.

But then there is the one thing for which the history books should effusively praise him, that more than balances out the bad: He brought down European Communism. Of course it helped that Gorby came along. And here is where that old "not me" partisan way of thinking scalds us; liberals think Gorby, not Reagan, deserves the credit. By that measure the incompetent engineers who designed Chernobyl deserved it. But Ronald Reagan never wavered from his fierce anti-Communism, and the Soviets knew it, and in time they backed down. That Russia is today a kleptocracy owes nothing to Reagan; the Russian people had little experience in democracy and a great deal in Mafia. But the eastern Europeans are free, which they could not say a scant two decades ago. Let us ignore the impulse to be false on anniversaries like this and honor Ronald Reagan for a signal achievement of history.