Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

Saturday, January 08, 2011


If we're going to blame conservatives and Republicans for this, let's have the guts to do it. Otherwise if people on all sides are serious about keeping the political vitriol down, they should SHUT UP.




A NEW Herman Mankiewicz reflects on his immortality:

So, in the end, do you think the movie is honest, and fair to Zuckerberg?

I have no idea. First of all, I've only seen the movie once.
[!!!!!] But I don’t know the real story. I wasn’t in those rooms. My only concern, really is the character of Mark: did I do the character justice? Is the character consistent? Is the character acting in a way that feels authentic? Are the character's desires and hopes and conflicts all evidenced in what I did?

And that's kind of hard to judge, because I have all this other stuff in my head about what I intended to do and what I thought I was doing and how I thought what I was doing would be perceived. So its impossible for me to think about how the real person would feel, and to gauge the accuracy of what we were doing.


This week I made my homemade computer a little happier by buying a 16GB flash drive and using it for ReadyBoost, and one thing I notice is it clears up an annoying glitch in Windows Media Player. Anyone who uses it often enough will know it can freeze just after you click it on, usually if you're scanning the library or just trying to play a song. It doesn't do that now. Steve BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWLMER, why did I need a new flash drive to get your Media Player working right?


And somehow tonight I am forced to remember Brian Williams. We forget since his cynical ploy he has been America's leading seller of denture adhesives almost without a break. We suspect one reason he appears on SNL every other month and Leno even more often (or so it seems) and discloses his stupid iPod playlists is to "humanize" him, perhaps a tacit recognition that some members of the audience may remember the ploy too. We can't get that angry at such a seemingly good guy; but what he did was very bad -- and very good for HIM, which is why we should NEVER forget it.

P. S. Someone with the Tea Party came up with a list of nightly-news sponsors from last September, we gather as the networks were doing their usual thorough investigative job -- on the Tea Party; and while there's only one instance of denture adhesives in here it sounds like a sad, tired lot, as we might expect when the network news' audience is close to collecting Social Security, the sort of sponsors who phone the ads in -- as they all do, so they don't have to know what they're sponsoring.

P. P. S. And ED MURROW, and JIMMY FALLON, and 30 ROCK, and....AND THE AUDIENCE IS STILL AGED 62.


Why all of a sudden am I thinking of LEGENDARY SCORSESE and Jim Brady?

Just asking.


More brilliance in terrorism fightin':

A dead dog in a cardboard box placed aboard a flight from Newark to Los Angeles set off a scare 30,000 feet below when local airport security officers discovered the animal hadn’t been screened, officials disclosed today.


The Econowiz has come up with one word for the hit the AFSCMEs are taking -- incompetence. Take away their incompetence and you take away much of the anger. But incompetence and public service were fated to be mated, more so as the AFSCMEs worked up the wherewithal to become indispensable to corrupt party machines of all stripes. As a civil servant I hope I'm not self-serving to say there are some very good people out there, but the public expectation of bad outweighs it.


We do seem to have lost our capacity for outrage over Mexico, perhaps because it's just one outrage after another, and it's almost as if we think the country deserves such outrages. How many nations deserve thousands of drug murders a year? And shouldn't we be at least minimally outraged as all that killing could yet afflict us? (This we might add is where those borderline cable-TV nut cases come in -- by commodifying outrage they've made it useless.) Perhaps the scourge will go away -- the very thinking behind excusing such ignorance. Perhaps Mexico could have a civil war over drugs too. Best not to ignore it.


Skimming this ad we looked in vain for Bruce Horwitz' byline but we would not have to go too far to find AL NEUHARTH's; he's the inspiration behind such stuff -- and behind the SUPER BOWL AD METER that has made such campaigns inescapable.

And when the NEWS HACKS start in with their GUN CONTROL TALK shortly we should remember this. I've said this a million times before too: spinning and selling are two sides of the same counterfeit coin; such is the news hacks' mindset that the one can't exist without the other. And in that vein we should not forget THE ANNOUNCER; when the hacks are of a mind their "reporting" resembles mental illness.


We've spoken of psychos and guns a million times before; a millionth-and-first will not help. We do hope because a Congresswoman was one of the victims that doesn't give our superiors an excuse to further seal themselves off to the people.

P. S. Much as we hate to bring up such unpleasantness we suspect the PARTY AFFILIATION of the psycho will determine the breadth and depth of the "coverage". We also suspect it will get the profitable borderline nut case KEITH O!!!!! excited -- which in turn might get the profitable borderline nut case the REV. DR. MARTIN LUTHER BECK excited. That psychos know no party affiliation will not matter. The best our media betters can do is count to ten -- and then pledge to KEEP THEIR MOUTHS SHUT when the urge for fake condolences and cheap partisanship hits them.

Friday, January 07, 2011


That extremely irritating chain press release about THE ANNOUNCER proves that sentimental buncombe at the speed of light is still sentimental buncombe.


[S]itting on my chair when I got into the ballroom where the event is taking place was a box embalzoned with the word “Zoll,” and the phrase “a story of human nature enabled by technologuy.” On the box was some trippy young dude in a furry hat. Inside the box was – a phone? a music player? Reese’s minis? – no, inside the box was a bag of popcorn.

● 4:35 p.m. Look, Zoll! Nope, just Gary Shapiro, the omnipresent CEO of the Consumer Electronics Association. He’s here this time to introduce Yoon.

● 4:37 p.m. On screen is a video…look, Zoll! Ew, while he looks like a cute Eskimo kid, he turns out to be an all-American, and hugely irritating kid in a bad hat.

● 4:38 p.m. Seems Zoll’s parents were “totally stoked” when he was born. If so, why did they name him Zoll?

● 4:40 p.m. Ew, actual kid playing Zoll is on stage. But now he’s gone. And Yoon is here. He’s talking about envisioning the future for consumer electronics devices….after some brief remarks, Yoon bails, and we get some…dancers? Are we at CES, or are we dancers? I’m sure this has a point – maybe the dancers are carrying 5G phones? Zoll is hanging with the dancers. Will he never leave? No, dancers leave, but Zoll is still here.

● 4:48 p.n.
[SIC] Yoon is back to talk about how content can be shared. He says TV will be the dominant and central component of human life. Smart TV is the place where everything is converging, he says. Samsung has the first TV app store, he notes. He also says they are breaking down barriers between various Samsung devices. He says Samsung is working on a cloud system for devices to talk to each other. They want them to be the best gateway to storage and enjoy content in the cloud. Does anyone see an issue here? The vision is all about an all-Samsung world, but who operates that way?

● 4:55 p.m. He says Samsung will partner with a variety of companies on this vision. Tim Baxter, president of Samsung’s American business comes on to tell us about it. He says they are partnering with leaders in cable on multi-screen video experiences, as well as VOD experiences.

● 4:58 p.m. Yoon invites to the stage Comcast CEO Brian Roberts and Time Warner Cable CEO Glenn Britt. Roberts notes that 3 years ago they announced Project Infinity, to bring any content to any device at any time. They’re launching the Xfinity TV app on the Samsung Galaxy tablet. (There’s already a Xfinity app on the iPad.) You can watch VOD content on the device, and eventually will be able to watch live TV. Time Warner is offering a similar app for the Galaxy Tablet, which already allows you to watch live TV. Britt is also showing navigation on a smart TV, which includes a much better interface than a typical cable guide. They’re also showing the ability to start watching the same content on one device, and then to switch to another.

● 5:09 p.m. Next up, Jason Kilar, the CEO of Hulu. He says four big things will change in 2020. In 2011, TV is not interactive or social. We used to navigate and consumer content with horrible program guides. Three, current remotes will go away. Four, advertisers used to speak to television programs, and not to people. But he says TV is changing fast; people are able to choose advertising relevant to them. Hulu Plus will be on Android mobile phones, demonstrated today on Galaxy S. His takeaway is that reinvention of TV has already begun.

● 5:12 p.m. Next, Shantanu Narayen, CEO of Adobe, to talk about Flash on devices, and the Air platform. He says there is enormous opportunity for applications outside the browser on a variety of devices. Yoon says Samsung TVs will support Flash.

● 5:17 p.m. Yoon invites the various partners back on stage. They all take a bow. They shake hands and leave. But, look…Zoll is back. Then he leaves, and Yoon comes back. And now he’s going to talk some more about Samsung smart TVs.

● 5:18 p.m. Artsy, sleep inducing video that lacks any real content…then another video, this time trying to show using your Samsung phone as a remote for your Samsung TV, or accessing social media on your Samsung TV. Not long after, we get Zoll and the dancers again.

● 5:30 p.m. Now we’re going to shift to 3D…and here comes Dreamworks Animation CEO Jeffrey Katzenberg. He says they have been working together for more than 18 months. He says they will continue to package Dreamworks 3D films with Samsung TVs. They also use Samsung TVs to help make the Dreamworks Animation films.

● 5:36 p.m. Yoon also says the company is going introduce something called 3D sound. They do a demo with simulated fireworks. And then Samsung’s delinquent mascot Zoll comes back with his dancer friends. Zoll says that nature rules, and asks what we can do to protect our planet. Yoon comes back to talk about how green Samsung is.

● 5:43 p.m. He says Samsung embraces the four As: Access, algin, amaze and act.

And that’s it, amen.


Someone wants to BAN the Consumer Electronics Show?!? NEVER!!!!!


Bernanke sees signs of self-sustaining growth

TRANSLATION: Don't worry, GOD'S SERVANTS, you'll get more money.


Fluoride in drinking water - credited with dramatically cutting cavities and tooth decay - may now be too much of a good thing. It's causing spots on some kids' teeth.

The best-laid plans of mice....


ESPN and the NFL have agreed to broad terms on a new media rights deal that will be worth nearly $2 billion per year. Specific numbers still are difficult to confirm, but multiple sources say ESPN has told the NFL that it will increase its annual rights fee by 65% to 70%%, which means it will pay the league a record fee, between $1.8 billion and $1.9 billion a year.

Do I smell collusion -- as in collusion to keep the CABLE MONOPOLY from breaking up?

P. S. This means there will be NO lockout; SLIME and SUMNER and BRIAN ROBBER will find billions more of our money to burn (using FANTASY FOOTBALL as an excuse, natch), and the sponsors' CEOs will pull their Chevy Chase act in the luxury boxes as never before. Only a few shareholders (and cable-TV-subscribing turnips) may suffer.

Thursday, January 06, 2011


Today liberals proved their love of the Constitution, like their love of country, is conditional (Second Amendment, anyone?). We've no doubt though the Republicans managed to make the document sound like one of those corny cowboy poems, or "Ah'm PRAAAAYOUD t'BEEE a CAAAAAAAAAAAYN!!!!! AMERICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYN!!!!!" Fortunately the reading was "bipartisan", after a fashion, so we may yet have hope.

CAVEAT: Lots of CON-SER-VA-TIVE bloggers complained.


Usually we put our favorite Branson East columnist Mike! at the head of the line, but yesterday when he alerted us that BABS!!!!! might play Mama Rose we had nothing to say. Today we found it: This will be the APEX of CRITICAL ACCLAIM. Why? Because BABS!!!!! will play it angry. VERY angry. She'll remember all the fockers (pardon our CONCAST MOVEES-inspired language) who gave her the back of the hand, and mocked her looks and her politics, and all the paparazzi butting into her mansion from hundreds of feet up, and she will be a TOWERING INFERNO OF RAGE. If the real Mama Rose "killed an agent by pushing him out a window", BABS's will be a MASS MURDERER!!!!! Yes, BABS!!!!! will end her career in an Os-CAR®-winning BLAZE OF FURY!!!!!!!!!!

UNLESS...she does make good on Arthur Laurents's implied threat to have "Hollywood magic" improve her looks. At best it will be Lucille Ball in gauze; at worst it will be a facelift by Industrial Light and Magic. GO FOR IT!

Wednesday, January 05, 2011




I wouldn't be too smug, NRO -- this might be a biennial occurence.


WHAT HATH GOD WROUGHT!!!!!

Sony Bankrolls 3-D Video of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue!!!!! (Non-bankrolled overemphasis added)

NO, Mr. Bew-KES, this does NOT make up for YOGI BEAR.

(Via MediaBistro)


Trump Tests His Brand on the Golf Links

FORE!

No, that was TOO easy.


More genius in anti-terrorism efforts:

A pilot's spilled coffee accidentally triggered a hijacking alert and caused a United Airlines flight from Chicago to Frankfurt, Germany, to make an unscheduled stop in Canada.

Tuesday, January 04, 2011


"Dog poo" -- yes, there is a good term for HEF, and no amount of 24-KARAT-GOLD NEWS HACK plating can change its appearance -- or lessen its smell.

Izabella St James, it seems, was much more open about having a physical relationship with him.

‘I wanted to see if this experienced King of Sexdom knew anything the rest of us did not,’ she recalls. ‘But he just lay there like a dead fish....'


Another suitable metaphor!

(Also via NEWSER!)


Arnold Schwarzenegger, whose tenure ended with Brown's inauguration at 11 a.m. Monday, often ran the place as if it were the White House; Brown seems set on transforming it into something more like a county seat.

If more of our governing superiors had run their "places" like county seats we wouldn't be facing White House-style deficits.


Here is hope for the future. Something made MySpace obsolete. Now for something to make GOD'S SERVANTS' PLAYTHING obsolete.

And how many times must SLIME prove to be a lousy businessman before His shareholders rebel?

P. S. at 12:05 p. m.

Exclusive: News Corp. Online Gaming Head Sean Ryan to Head Facebook’s Social Gaming Partnerships

NO COMMENT. (Via I Want Media)

Monday, January 03, 2011


HOORAY!!!!!

Half of Americans are giving President Obama a positive approval rating, the highest rating he's gotten in nearly eight months, according to Gallup. According to an average of results from Dec. 28 to Jan. 2, 50 percent of respondents approved and 42 disapproved of his job performance.

His new mark is three points higher than what it was between Dec. 27 and 29. The last time Obama had a 50 percent approval rating in the Gallup poll was between May 29 and June 1.

Obama has been on vacation in Hawaii for almost two weeks and has had no public events.
[SIC]


[T]he American Economic Association is announcing that its job listings in 2010 recovered from a 21 percent decline in 2008. Further, the number of academic jobs exceeded the number in 2008. (Economics job listings include positions in the finance and consulting industries, in addition to academic slots.)

Voodoo is back!

Sunday, January 02, 2011


The Iranian president's 33-year-old car has received a $1 million bid from abroad in a charity auction to raise money for a low-income housing project, reported a local newspaper on Sunday.

...for nuclear physicists?

The Iran daily newspaper said various bids from abroad have been received by the multilingual website set up Saturday for the auction, including $1 million, but it did not elaborate on the identity of the bidders.

Do I smell...m---y l--------g?


In the best of circumstances we find it difficult to root for Ghetto Beach. By authorizing mini hotels CHRIS!!!!! has conceded the big HHilton casino boxes won't work anymore; and tearing down hovels on Pacific Avenue won't work either when the whole CITY away from the Boardwalk is a hovel. We know how gambl -- GAMING encourages crime; how can it not encourage it in a burg itself a criminal assault? And gambl -- GAMING is now inextricably tied into customer convenience. Who wants to schlep a hundred miles to a long-ago-has-been town full of GUNS?

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