THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Saturday, September 18, 2004
MARK STEYN DOES IT AGAIN:
A few weeks ago, Prof Bernard Lewis, the great historian of the Muslim world, told Die Welt that "Europe will be Islamic by the end of the century". That seems demographically unavoidable.
Given that much of what we now know as the civilised world will be Muslim, it seems prudent to ensure that what is already the Muslim world is civilised. And, for those who say that Islam is incompatible with democracy, we might as well try to buck that in Iraq today than in France, Scandinavia and Britain the day after tomorrow.
A few weeks ago, Prof Bernard Lewis, the great historian of the Muslim world, told Die Welt that "Europe will be Islamic by the end of the century". That seems demographically unavoidable.
Given that much of what we now know as the civilised world will be Muslim, it seems prudent to ensure that what is already the Muslim world is civilised. And, for those who say that Islam is incompatible with democracy, we might as well try to buck that in Iraq today than in France, Scandinavia and Britain the day after tomorrow.
The eagerness with which so much fiction is thrown about as fact these days is dismaying, even after 50 years of seeing it all. But then, this too will pass. It always has.
...to make room for new fiction genres.
...to make room for new fiction genres.
Mitsubishi pulling the plug on network TV (pun intended) means nothing; the company's in the doldrums. Besides, the CLUNKER BROTHERS and their friends from Europe and Japan and the whole rest of THE AMERICAN SOCIETY OF WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS will come to the rescue financing so much JUNK TELEVISION it'll come out of their EARS, and certain other orifices. But this action raises a question: how much longer will our Lords and Masters continue to spend OUR MONEY on a medium and on programs we DESPISE?
Somehow I am not sorry for all the gullible bikers whose "high-end tubular cylinder locks" can be picked with a BIC.
Nor am I especially sorry for a ten-billion-dollar company with a Halliburton-type name that's HQ'd in Bermuda to escape taxes and that tries to hide its brand's provenance with an ugly Web site.
Nor am I especially sorry for a ten-billion-dollar company with a Halliburton-type name that's HQ'd in Bermuda to escape taxes and that tries to hide its brand's provenance with an ugly Web site.
An industry trembles! Broadcasters may be held accountable for disgorging tons of raw sewage into viewers' living rooms!
This is a disgrace. Don't people realize CAPITAL has RIGHTS?
Should have thought about this when you folks hired DAN BLATHER.
This is a disgrace. Don't people realize CAPITAL has RIGHTS?
Should have thought about this when you folks hired DAN BLATHER.
Now THE PAPER OF RECORD all but admits BILL DID IT!
As DAN BLATHER's arch-nemesis GEORGE I would say, we're in deep doo-doo.
As DAN BLATHER's arch-nemesis GEORGE I would say, we're in deep doo-doo.
Friday, September 17, 2004
Poor Sen. Mitchell doesn't want to run ESPNCorp's board. He wants to run STATE.
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
OMERTA whispers:
WE'RE GONNA SEND THIS @#$%&* INTO INTERNAL EXILE IF IT'S THE LAST @#$%&* THING WE DO!!!!!!!!!!
Alas, Mr. Code, it's getting tougher to believe your non-partisan gag. YOUR FRIENDS AT THE TRIB SAID IT.
WE'RE GONNA SEND THIS @#$%&* INTO INTERNAL EXILE IF IT'S THE LAST @#$%&* THING WE DO!!!!!!!!!!
Alas, Mr. Code, it's getting tougher to believe your non-partisan gag. YOUR FRIENDS AT THE TRIB SAID IT.
Shucks, the GENIUS'S masterwork, the GREATEST ARCHITECTURAL ACHIEVEMENT SINCE THE PYRAMIDS, is DEAD.
THE SHARD IS NEXT!
Elsewhere deep within the VIACON empire, someone admires MODO'S WRITING!
This is the CBS Evening News -- with JON FRIEDMAN!!!!!
This is the CBS Evening News -- with JON FRIEDMAN!!!!!
ANDY ROONEY SAYS THEY'RE FAKE!
I'd mimic Andy but it's too early in the morning. (I'd say the same thing in the afternoon or evening.)
I'd mimic Andy but it's too early in the morning. (I'd say the same thing in the afternoon or evening.)
Dubya leads by thirteen points -- and he's TIED.
Don't you just LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUVE public-opinion polls?
Don't you just LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUVE public-opinion polls?
Thursday, September 16, 2004
One reason the Miss America Pageant was ruined: it was RETOOLED.
TV critic [Bill] Goodykoontz is not a fan of the retooling, saying that tweaks this year in particular smack of desperation. The pageant has an old-timey, variety-show feel to it, he argues, and it should just be allowed to be what it is.
"It's hard to make the claim for its relevance, but I don't think that means it doesn't belong on TV," he says. "If there's room for 'Fear Factor' and 27 variations of 'The Bachelor,' and 'American Idol' ... it seems to me that once a year there is room for this."
But then THE AMERICAN SOCIETY OF WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS couldn't use words like "HIP" and "DEMOGRAPHIC."
P. S. More excellence in hackery -- practically every news organization is using heds that make it sound as if the Pageant is fifty years old. And they wonder why they face BLATHERGATES?
And speaking of heds, here's an actual one from a political par -- news organization that did almost as much to promote BLATHERGATE as DAN BLATHER:
Miss USA celebrates 50 years on TV
TV critic [Bill] Goodykoontz is not a fan of the retooling, saying that tweaks this year in particular smack of desperation. The pageant has an old-timey, variety-show feel to it, he argues, and it should just be allowed to be what it is.
"It's hard to make the claim for its relevance, but I don't think that means it doesn't belong on TV," he says. "If there's room for 'Fear Factor' and 27 variations of 'The Bachelor,' and 'American Idol' ... it seems to me that once a year there is room for this."
But then THE AMERICAN SOCIETY OF WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS couldn't use words like "HIP" and "DEMOGRAPHIC."
P. S. More excellence in hackery -- practically every news organization is using heds that make it sound as if the Pageant is fifty years old. And they wonder why they face BLATHERGATES?
And speaking of heds, here's an actual one from a political par -- news organization that did almost as much to promote BLATHERGATE as DAN BLATHER:
Miss USA celebrates 50 years on TV
[H]is strategy in the meantime is based less on building himself up than on tearing down the president.
Don't CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES get FIRED for typing things like that?
Don't CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES get FIRED for typing things like that?
ROMY, still in a fearsome daze after the attacks on THE GREATEST, NOBLEST TRUTH-TELLER SINCE TOM PAINE, and his compatriot in agony THE OMBUDSPOOP of the TRIB, are HORRIFIED that PEOPLE MADE FUN of the DEATH OF A GREAT ARTISTE. To which I say, perhaps people wouldn't laugh at this SENSELESS DEATH if he hadn't made so much SENSELESS ART -- and if such eulogies didn't go HAND IN HAND with BLATHERGATE.
DIPPITY-DO!!!!! reportedly BOMBED before the Guardsmen, thanks in no small part to those rapes, cut-off ears, cut-off heads, etc., etc., ETC., but also because if DIP wasn't behind BLATHERGATE, he was beneath it.
A man who helped turned movies into live-action Road Runner cartoons blames -- MIDDLE MANAGERS.
HE READ YOUR DAMNED BOOK, PETER BISKIND!!!!!
HE READ YOUR DAMNED BOOK, PETER BISKIND!!!!!
Our government is intent on uglifying every last bit of our currency, as if it doesn't look fake enough already.
Oh well, I do most of my shopping with credit cards, and the nickel is following the penny down the road to uselessness.
Hand-Wringing at MGM as Sony Takeover Nears
It might have helped, folks, if your "LEGENDARY" studio really WERE MGM -- and if it had not made such enduring works of art as DE-LOVELY.
It might have helped, folks, if your "LEGENDARY" studio really WERE MGM -- and if it had not made such enduring works of art as DE-LOVELY.
Oooh, now THE PAPER OF RECORD concedes they could be possibly might be FAKE!
We're in trouuuuuuuu-BLE!
We're in trouuuuuuuu-BLE!
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
OH oh, the REBELLION has begun:
Just announced on the Chris Baker talk show:
Ken Charles, the Station Manager for 950KPRC in Houston (the largest talk station in Houston) just sent the CBS News VP all his nasty e-mails and told them that CBS will either fire Dan Rather by Monday and come completely clean on the matter or he will take CBS News off the air of his radio stations (he manages two of the largest in Houston).
He took Dan Rather's 4pm top of the hour brodcast off effective immediately and replaced it with Fox news.
He said he will find a way to cancel the CBS contract if they do not resolve this in a manner that retains their credibility as a news source.
Just one big problem: KPRC is a CHEAP CHANNEL, and this IS Texas (and SR.'s hometown), and we all know what the NEWS HACKS did about SINCLAIR when it took LORD KOPPEL OF ESPNDOM off its stations one night. Expect HEAVY POLITICKING from our FIRST AMENDMENT DEFENDERS.
Just announced on the Chris Baker talk show:
Ken Charles, the Station Manager for 950KPRC in Houston (the largest talk station in Houston) just sent the CBS News VP all his nasty e-mails and told them that CBS will either fire Dan Rather by Monday and come completely clean on the matter or he will take CBS News off the air of his radio stations (he manages two of the largest in Houston).
He took Dan Rather's 4pm top of the hour brodcast off effective immediately and replaced it with Fox news.
He said he will find a way to cancel the CBS contract if they do not resolve this in a manner that retains their credibility as a news source.
Just one big problem: KPRC is a CHEAP CHANNEL, and this IS Texas (and SR.'s hometown), and we all know what the NEWS HACKS did about SINCLAIR when it took LORD KOPPEL OF ESPNDOM off its stations one night. Expect HEAVY POLITICKING from our FIRST AMENDMENT DEFENDERS.
I should have known: just another statement.
I think the ZONNNNNNNNNNNNN, YAHWEH and O&A are in on this; it has their grimy fingerprints. AND SUMNER OKAYED THE STATEMENT.
I think the ZONNNNNNNNNNNNN, YAHWEH and O&A are in on this; it has their grimy fingerprints. AND SUMNER OKAYED THE STATEMENT.
Hmmm, P. R. MIKE'S MASTERPIECE is showing in IRAN -- and it's not having quite the effect he probably hoped for:
On Tuesday night the film was sold out and the theatre packed with close to 380 people, most of them young. Many admitted they were just out to watch an American film, and not that one in particular.
"I love to see foreign films on the big screen, and I never miss Farhang cinema shows no matter what is on," said Sima Gharavi, a 24-year-old dressed in a short bright blue coat rather than the more conservative all-black attire.
But she hastened to complain that "out of all the films people would love to see, the authorities had to go for this one -- just because this film is in line with the view of the Islamic regime."
And despite sporadic laughs here and there, most of Moore's sardonic humour appeared to fall flat. The end of the film was also greeted with some half-hearted clapping.
"The problem is the subtitles," said Sogol Zand, an English teacher. "The jokes are not as funny."
Others, obviously out for a rare taste of Hollywood entertainment, disagreed.
"It was just too political. I was bored from the middle, and I wished we had gone to see "Kill Bill" instead," said one young man, referring to the trendy Quentin Tarantino flick also being shown.
But those of the older generation appeared to relate well to the film, which succeeded in sparking some vigorous after-show chatter.
"I saw it as an Iranian who has also lived in America," said Kourosh Amini, a man in his 50s.
"It perfectly depicted the realities of American life, and they have to learn what war really looks like."
And even though his twenty-something son quipped in to say he was "disappointed" by the film and asserted "politics is not as important" for Iran's younger generation, he did envy Moore's position.
"It sure is a great country, where someone like Moore trashes the president and gets away with it -- and makes so much money!" he laughed.
And someday your country will be great again -- WITHOUT AYATOLLAHS.
On Tuesday night the film was sold out and the theatre packed with close to 380 people, most of them young. Many admitted they were just out to watch an American film, and not that one in particular.
"I love to see foreign films on the big screen, and I never miss Farhang cinema shows no matter what is on," said Sima Gharavi, a 24-year-old dressed in a short bright blue coat rather than the more conservative all-black attire.
But she hastened to complain that "out of all the films people would love to see, the authorities had to go for this one -- just because this film is in line with the view of the Islamic regime."
And despite sporadic laughs here and there, most of Moore's sardonic humour appeared to fall flat. The end of the film was also greeted with some half-hearted clapping.
"The problem is the subtitles," said Sogol Zand, an English teacher. "The jokes are not as funny."
Others, obviously out for a rare taste of Hollywood entertainment, disagreed.
"It was just too political. I was bored from the middle, and I wished we had gone to see "Kill Bill" instead," said one young man, referring to the trendy Quentin Tarantino flick also being shown.
But those of the older generation appeared to relate well to the film, which succeeded in sparking some vigorous after-show chatter.
"I saw it as an Iranian who has also lived in America," said Kourosh Amini, a man in his 50s.
"It perfectly depicted the realities of American life, and they have to learn what war really looks like."
And even though his twenty-something son quipped in to say he was "disappointed" by the film and asserted "politics is not as important" for Iran's younger generation, he did envy Moore's position.
"It sure is a great country, where someone like Moore trashes the president and gets away with it -- and makes so much money!" he laughed.
And someday your country will be great again -- WITHOUT AYATOLLAHS.
A thought: what if this goes against the grain of thinking and proves a GOP dirty trick? If there's one thing to the post 9-11 world it's that anything can happen, the screwier the more likely. And enough people (especially in the pajama party) are so thoroughly convinced it was a liberal or Democrat, just as Danno is so thoroughly convinced the documents are real, that they're setting themselves up for a big gotcha. News hacks would be dancing on air for months. Such a possibility seems unlikely given the evidence to date (mostly from MS Word and Photoshop) and Danno's blazing liberal partisanship, but consider the old saying, I don't care if he's an SOB so long as he's my SOB. On the other hand, I must bring up Don Keough's line about New Coke; whoever did this is not that dumb and not that smart.
Well, not that smart, anyway.
I think I can see why STERNO's mad. But he ditched his boat when he pledged his allegiance to YAHWEH -- the man who created SIXTY MINUTES THE SECOND.
Well, not that smart, anyway.
I think I can see why STERNO's mad. But he ditched his boat when he pledged his allegiance to YAHWEH -- the man who created SIXTY MINUTES THE SECOND.
Headline of the Day from grammatically-challenged (among other things) REUTERS:
Israel Kills 10 People, Says Not Following Roadmap
Israel Kills 10 People, Says Not Following Roadmap
NHL will lock out players beginning Thursday
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
VIACON NETWORK NEWS was supposed to issue "a statement" at noon. It's now going to issue "a statement" at 3:30. I wouldn't be surprised if the higher-ups (THE LORD GOD SUMNER, perhaps?) are demanding a retraction, and KENNETH's standing his ever-shakier ground. Thus I wouldn't be surprised if the day ends with DAN BLATHER relinquishing his throne as our modern-day MURROW and handing the crown to Girly-Man Roberts.
Then again, it might just issue "a statement."
Then again, it might just issue "a statement."
I'm sure we are pleased to know that Jessica Simpson has landed a role in the movie version of The Dukes of Hazzard.
Humorous though this is, I must repeat, in a different way: Comic book movies and Dan Blather's lies come from THE SAME FOUL MEDIA WELL.
And a big fat demerit to whatever this site is for inflicting THREE POP-UPS on me.
Humorous though this is, I must repeat, in a different way: Comic book movies and Dan Blather's lies come from THE SAME FOUL MEDIA WELL.
And a big fat demerit to whatever this site is for inflicting THREE POP-UPS on me.
"YOU CAN HAVE INFORMATION ANARCHY! YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT WHO THESE PEOPLE ARE!!! WE HAVE TO PUT SOME SCRUTINY ON THE BLOGGERS!!!!!"
Hhmph. RIFF-RAFF!
Hhmph. RIFF-RAFF!
An amanuensis of SHAKESPEARE is DEAD!
Can you imagine the screaming and wailing from NEWSHACKDOM when the BARD GOES?
Almost as loud as the teeth gnashing over DAN BLATHER.
Can you imagine the screaming and wailing from NEWSHACKDOM when the BARD GOES?
Almost as loud as the teeth gnashing over DAN BLATHER.
I believe we have officially reached the point where we can trust nothing DAN BLATHER says -- including A and THE.
I am not surprised Tom Shallows, er, SHALES raved this.
I am not surprised Tom Shallows, er, SHALES raved this.
Absolutely NOTHING to do with OMERTA's love of DIPPITY-DO!!!!! and GRAFFITI, or a certain groveling OMBUDSPOOP saying let's not call terrorists terrorists:
Tribune Warns 3Q Income Will Fall Short
Tribune Warns 3Q Income Will Fall Short
"I don't want this to be seen as a gimmick movie."
Sorry, an animated "GRAPHICAL NOVEL" sounds like a gimmick to me.
Sorry, an animated "GRAPHICAL NOVEL" sounds like a gimmick to me.
OMERTA calls graffiti an art form, and a particularly sacred place where the art is painted a "shrine."
I wonder when we'll find out you folks have cooked your circulation, MERT?
I wonder when we'll find out you folks have cooked your circulation, MERT?
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreak out the bubblehhhhhhhh: HAHVAHD MUTUAL FUND is BIGGER and RICHER than EVER!
Though not necessarily its INVESTORS.
Though not necessarily its INVESTORS.
"IT'S THE WRONG WAR IN THE WRONG PLACE AT THE WRONG TIME!!!!!!!!!!"
I've a hunch DIPPITY-DO!!!!! is pretty WRONG himself -- especially for one who once believed the war was RIGHT.
I've a hunch DIPPITY-DO!!!!! is pretty WRONG himself -- especially for one who once believed the war was RIGHT.
NBC Nightly News Anchor Tom Brokaw To Deliver Keynote Address at RTNDA Awards Dinner
WASHINGTON--NBC’s Tom Brokaw will deliver the keynote address at the Radio-Television News Directors Association’s Awards Dinner next month in New York. RTNDA will honor winners of the Edward R. Murrow Awards and the RTNDA/UNITY Awards on October 4 at the Grand Hyatt New York.
Brokaw, who is stepping down later this year from his post on the NBC Nightly News, has had a distinguished 38-year career at NBC, including more than 20 years as the anchor and managing editor of the evening newscast.
NBC will pick up three awards at the dinner, including one for David Bloom’s coverage of the war in Iraq. Melanie Bloom will accept the award for her late husband.
Also making remarks at the dinner are these award recipients:
The RTNDA/UNITY Awards honor news organizations for their commitment to covering diversity. Visit www.rtnda.org/news/2004/070804.shtml for the five winners. For more information on the RTNDA Awards Dinner, visit www.rtnda.org/asfi/awards/dinner.shtml.
RTNDA is the world’s largest professional organization devoted exclusively to electronic journalism. RTNDA represents local and network news executives in broadcasting, cable and other electronic media in more than 30 countries.
WHAT? WE WORRY?
WASHINGTON--NBC’s Tom Brokaw will deliver the keynote address at the Radio-Television News Directors Association’s Awards Dinner next month in New York. RTNDA will honor winners of the Edward R. Murrow Awards and the RTNDA/UNITY Awards on October 4 at the Grand Hyatt New York.
Brokaw, who is stepping down later this year from his post on the NBC Nightly News, has had a distinguished 38-year career at NBC, including more than 20 years as the anchor and managing editor of the evening newscast.
NBC will pick up three awards at the dinner, including one for David Bloom’s coverage of the war in Iraq. Melanie Bloom will accept the award for her late husband.
Also making remarks at the dinner are these award recipients:
- Peter Jennings, anchor and senior editor, ABC World News Tonight, who won two awards, one for Newscast and one for News Documentary for The Kennedy Assassination: Beyond Conspiracy.
- Dan Rather, anchor and managing editor, CBS Evening News, whose network won the award for Overall Excellence.
RTNDA’s Edward R. Murrow Awards, now in their 34th year, honor excellence in electronic journalism. This year, 53 news organizations won 74 awards out of an initial pool of 3,182 entries from 552 news organizations. Visit www.rtnda.org/asfi/awards/murrowshow2004.asp for winners.
The RTNDA/UNITY Awards honor news organizations for their commitment to covering diversity. Visit www.rtnda.org/news/2004/070804.shtml for the five winners. For more information on the RTNDA Awards Dinner, visit www.rtnda.org/asfi/awards/dinner.shtml.
RTNDA is the world’s largest professional organization devoted exclusively to electronic journalism. RTNDA represents local and network news executives in broadcasting, cable and other electronic media in more than 30 countries.
WHAT? WE WORRY?
TRANSLATION: WE NEWS HACKS ONLY DO FAVORS FOR OUR KIND.
FURTHER TRANSLATION: If the Swifties did it there wouldn't be an INQUIRING HACK nor a CAMERA or MICROPHONE in the ROOM. This is why DANNO was in trouble as much as MS WORD.
FURTHER TRANSLATION: If the Swifties did it there wouldn't be an INQUIRING HACK nor a CAMERA or MICROPHONE in the ROOM. This is why DANNO was in trouble as much as MS WORD.
I HATE THIS STORY. It's all "WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME" -- what's in it for the "lucky" new-car owners, what's in it for the SENIOR CLUNKER BROTHER, what's in it for the TV news do's flogging the story for the ratings, what's in it for VIACON, and especially, what's in it for THE QUEEN OF MAUDLIN SLEAZE.
After helping to destroy untold downtown business districts with its cookie-cutter shopping-mall stores, one of our biggest retailers is putting cookie-cutter names on the cookie-cutter stores.
FREE ENTERPRISE AT WORK!
FREE ENTERPRISE AT WORK!
"THE APPRENTICE" CAST TO APPEAR ON TRUMP WORLD COVER!!!!!!!!!!
Romy falls back into his deep, deep, DEEP SLEEP.
Romy falls back into his deep, deep, DEEP SLEEP.
Another UNBIASED NEWS SOURCE goes BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM!!!!!:
Florida neurologist Marc Swerdloff was taken aback when one of his patients with advanced dementia voted in the 2000 presidential election. The man thought it was 1942 and Franklin D. Roosevelt was president. The patient's wife revealed that she had escorted her husband into the booth.
"I said 'Did he pick?' and she said 'No, I picked for him,' " Swerdloff said. "I felt bad. She essentially voted twice" in the Florida election, which gave George W. Bush a 537-vote victory and the White House. [Optional sound effect here: BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!]
SO THAT'S IT! DEMENTED GEEZERS VOTED FRANKLIN W. BUSH INTO THE WHITE HOUSE!!!!!
(Oh well, the unbiased source did admit Danno was caught with faked memos, so we'll give them half a BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM!)
Florida neurologist Marc Swerdloff was taken aback when one of his patients with advanced dementia voted in the 2000 presidential election. The man thought it was 1942 and Franklin D. Roosevelt was president. The patient's wife revealed that she had escorted her husband into the booth.
"I said 'Did he pick?' and she said 'No, I picked for him,' " Swerdloff said. "I felt bad. She essentially voted twice" in the Florida election, which gave George W. Bush a 537-vote victory and the White House. [Optional sound effect here: BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!]
SO THAT'S IT! DEMENTED GEEZERS VOTED FRANKLIN W. BUSH INTO THE WHITE HOUSE!!!!!
(Oh well, the unbiased source did admit Danno was caught with faked memos, so we'll give them half a BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM!)
Sorry, the sun will never set on media empires; it will only slightly shift its position in the sky.
TRANSLATION: Now movies WILL be indistinguishable from video games.
Repeat: WHAT NEWS HACKS DON'T SPIN, THEY SELL.
Repeat: WHAT NEWS HACKS DON'T SPIN, THEY SELL.
LAUGH OF THE DAY:
A Discussion on the Election
Gail Collins, editorial page editor, and Maureen Dowd, Op-Ed columnist, take readers' questions about women and the election from Tuesday to Thursday.
• Submit a Question
A Discussion on the Election
Gail Collins, editorial page editor, and Maureen Dowd, Op-Ed columnist, take readers' questions about women and the election from Tuesday to Thursday.
• Submit a Question
STORIES YOU CAN STOP READING AFTER THE THIRD PARAGRAPH:
When President Bush arrives in Las Vegas today to address a convention of National Guardsmen, a group of families will be there as well, intent on protesting the Iraq war and a president who they say used his Guard service to avoid combat....
The demonstrators said they were not supporters of Sen. John F. Kerry....
Oh I'm absolutely SURE they aren't. Right DIP? Right DANNO? RIGHT, OMERTA?
Wanna bet this is the LEAD on the VIACON NETWORK EVENING FIBS?
When President Bush arrives in Las Vegas today to address a convention of National Guardsmen, a group of families will be there as well, intent on protesting the Iraq war and a president who they say used his Guard service to avoid combat....
The demonstrators said they were not supporters of Sen. John F. Kerry....
Oh I'm absolutely SURE they aren't. Right DIP? Right DANNO? RIGHT, OMERTA?
Wanna bet this is the LEAD on the VIACON NETWORK EVENING FIBS?
Monday, September 13, 2004
I must confess of all the oddball phenomena to come out of Japan I find Hello Kitty quite endearing. We may call this the Beanie Baby craze of the east, but unlike the shapeless, formless, charmless Babies the Kitty is, shall I say, awwww-inspiring (although some may call it a feline smiley face without the smile -- true enough, but somehow it's still cute), and if it is the thing of little girls (and big girls who must act little, like BRITNEY), it is playful and affectionate, the stuff that (until recently) distinguished them from dirty little boys.
One should have KNOWN L'AFFAIRE BLATHER would come to nothing when BLOGGERS started obsessing over TYPEWRITERS.
Then again, MAYBE NOT.
Then again, MAYBE NOT.
The words "journalism code of ethics" in a Google search (no quotation marks): 96,000 hits.
Pages to THE PAPER OF RECORD's Code of Ethics: 57.
Meaningless codes produce partisan news.
Pages to THE PAPER OF RECORD's Code of Ethics: 57.
Meaningless codes produce partisan news.
Kerry: I'll 'Take on the Terrorists' with Gun Control
GET 'EM DIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Sorry for the NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
GET 'EM DIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Sorry for the NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
One wonders when the HACKS will do with TATTOOS what they've done with GRAFFITI -- an ART form, FREEDOM of EXPRESSION, INDIVIDUALITY, blahblahblah.
Evidently they're NOT buying that BUNCOMBE in the OFFICE.
P. S. How many of the LUXURY NEWS SUITES have DRESS CODES?
Evidently they're NOT buying that BUNCOMBE in the OFFICE.
P. S. How many of the LUXURY NEWS SUITES have DRESS CODES?
MmmmmmhmhmmhmhmhmmhmhmYAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWN...oh. What time is it? What's today's date? September 13, 1984?!?!? Hmmm, I'd better to do some work, hmhmhmhmmm...oh, here it is:
CBS still insists Bush military record memos are authentic
See? Ol' Rip Romenesko REMEMBERS! He he he!
CBS still insists Bush military record memos are authentic
See? Ol' Rip Romenesko REMEMBERS! He he he!
Shucks, maybe the EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL KARL ROVE WAS behind it:
No matter how it turns out, for now the controversy over the documents has blunted criticism of Bush's Guard record, which has been a persistent irritant for Bush since he first campaigned for the White House. It has sapped the power from an issue that had appeared to be a weapon for the Democrats against Bush.
Esepcially since we hacks did everything in our power to ignore the SWIFT BOATERS.
No matter how it turns out, for now the controversy over the documents has blunted criticism of Bush's Guard record, which has been a persistent irritant for Bush since he first campaigned for the White House. It has sapped the power from an issue that had appeared to be a weapon for the Democrats against Bush.
Esepcially since we hacks did everything in our power to ignore the SWIFT BOATERS.
Sunday, September 12, 2004
How often since L'Affaire BLATHER hit the fan have Freepers posted a version of this:
(VIACON, please note, has since spun off Blockbuster and changed TNN to Spike TV.)
When the LORD GOD SUMNERS tried to sell the world on SYNERGY one of the tricks they had was to convince easily gullible news hacks and their separated-at-birth twins the sales -- ANALYSTS that the idea of one big company owning so many media outlets was a kind of in-joke; you know who owns what, and we know who owns what, but by obscuring the corporate identity of all our outlets THE PUBLIC wouldn't know -- all the better to play a great big PRACTICAL JOKE on them.
That won't work any more. When one media outlet in a SUPERTOWER OF BABBLE does wrong, the whole company is besmirched, as it should be. Thus when a VIACON stages sex in a Catholic church, or exposes Ms. Boob, or tells lies to elect DIPPITY-DO, every finger points straight to the top, and to the WHOLE. Corporate responsibility is nothing when no one is accountable, and part of the trick of SYNERGY was to see to precisely that. (That also holds true, sorry to say FREEPERS, for RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, who owns The Weekly Standard and FX. He's played tricks even longer than the LORD GOD SUMNER, and he's not as old.) Unfortunately, GOD, thanks to your never-ending ANTICS we ceased being that gullible a long time ago.
P. S. I got this version of VIACON'S boast off an Indymedia affiliate -- from a screed demanding a boycott of the company for CENSORING THE REAGANS. And as Internet denizens know too well, six of one is not half a dozen of the other when your enemy does it.
(VIACON, please note, has since spun off Blockbuster and changed TNN to Spike TV.)
When the LORD GOD SUMNERS tried to sell the world on SYNERGY one of the tricks they had was to convince easily gullible news hacks and their separated-at-birth twins the sales -- ANALYSTS that the idea of one big company owning so many media outlets was a kind of in-joke; you know who owns what, and we know who owns what, but by obscuring the corporate identity of all our outlets THE PUBLIC wouldn't know -- all the better to play a great big PRACTICAL JOKE on them.
That won't work any more. When one media outlet in a SUPERTOWER OF BABBLE does wrong, the whole company is besmirched, as it should be. Thus when a VIACON stages sex in a Catholic church, or exposes Ms. Boob, or tells lies to elect DIPPITY-DO, every finger points straight to the top, and to the WHOLE. Corporate responsibility is nothing when no one is accountable, and part of the trick of SYNERGY was to see to precisely that. (That also holds true, sorry to say FREEPERS, for RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, who owns The Weekly Standard and FX. He's played tricks even longer than the LORD GOD SUMNER, and he's not as old.) Unfortunately, GOD, thanks to your never-ending ANTICS we ceased being that gullible a long time ago.
P. S. I got this version of VIACON'S boast off an Indymedia affiliate -- from a screed demanding a boycott of the company for CENSORING THE REAGANS. And as Internet denizens know too well, six of one is not half a dozen of the other when your enemy does it.
Someone should tell these young beauties: that blotch of blue just above your behind may not look so sexy to your doctor when you're 50.
How many of the homemade banners at today's VIACON NETWORK-broadcast NFL games will make fun of DAN BLATHER?
Slime Time Live
In your face: Fueled by shadowy cash, the attacks get uglier and uglier.
Wait a second -- didn't ST. WARREN anoint CAMPAIGN FINANCE REFORM a HOLY PANACEA?
In your face: Fueled by shadowy cash, the attacks get uglier and uglier.
Wait a second -- didn't ST. WARREN anoint CAMPAIGN FINANCE REFORM a HOLY PANACEA?
The North Koreans are up to no good. Get your geiger counters out.
What would YOU do about it, RICHIE RICH?!?!?
What would YOU do about it, RICHIE RICH?!?!?