Posted 8:00 PM by Gene

Has anyone ever heard Hoyt Curtin's end-title music to The Jetsons? It's a stupid question. But not long ago I downloaded it (a pirated version; it was issued by Rhino only in a multi-disc set of Hanna-Barbera music long deleted) and have played it again and again and marveled just how good it is. You couldn't tell in 1962 through low-fi speakers and under the SFX and dialogue and the usual audio promo burying it. The show stank -- typical chintzy HB limited animation and godawful dialogue -- but the theme was so striking and brilliantly played one only pines if the whole show was up to that level. Of course it could never be; Bill Hanna and Joe Barbera were in the business of selling cereal and toys and grape juice (and CIGARETTES) to kids, certainly not of doing anything good, which is why despite being technically part of the Time Warner tyranny the company has largely vanished from memory. But you must concede some of their theme songs were the best.

Posted 7:20 PM by Gene

I've changed my second counter from Blogpatrol to eXtremeTrAcKIng (or however they insist on spelling it) as the former's link was broken and more bloggers use the latter. I hope maybe this will help me get out of my HITS funk. I may add a third counter too, although I wonder if it's necessary. One is bad enough.

Posted 6:13 PM by Gene

Trio of Google billionaires slashed salary
Co-founders Page and Brin, CEO Schmidt earned $1 last year

A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD FOR THIS EGREGIOUS PIECE OF CLAPTRAP!!!!!

And especially with the GOBBLEDYGOOK that appeared when I tried posting the story, like THIS:

span style="font-style:italic;" div class="w649 p6" div class="deckStory" style="margin-top: 20px;" a style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;" /span

I had to omit all the greater-than and less-than signs to get this to show.

Posted 6:03 PM by Gene

One of the POP-UP BLOGGERS OF THE MILLENNIUM sorta-kinda admits he was wrong, after days of POUNDING THE TABLE and SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS. But then the only moral of this whole exercise in comedy was to teach us NEVER TRUST A BLOG WITH POP-UP ADS -- and we already knew THAT.

Posted 5:31 PM by Gene

More news from CARL LIMBURGER and the AP -- NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! staff:

Shriver wants [SIC!!!!!] Arnie Home

In Austria?

Posted 5:24 PM by Gene

Today FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NEWS had a truck on South Street, and I think I saw at least one perky face that went with it, and I asked myself, how many perky faces does RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! employ? How many does all of TV? And I further mused, with all His success RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! draws a fraction of the THREE STOOGES' crowd, and in time, all those perky faces are gone and forgotten.

Posted 4:57 PM by Gene

I laugh at the CLUNKER BROTHERS but it's really not funny. Leafing through a long, dense biography of Walter P. Chrysler I learned the auto biz collapsed at least six months before the Crash of 1929; overproduction was largely to blame for it. Seeing this, and seeing the absurdity of the housing biz, I think, maybe things aren't the same, maybe we have too many computers for that, but the 1920s weren't the first time for eternal prosperity, nor will they be the last.

Posted 1:59 PM by Gene

Moveon.org stages a rally in Baghdad. Thanks, George S.!

Posted 11:13 AM by Gene

COS is HOT!

I think we'd better not make any statements about morals for a while.

Posted 10:26 AM by Gene

A son of the late Tribune columnist Mike Royko was arrested Friday after he allegedly attempted to rob a Northwest Side bank while claiming to be armed with a bomb that turned out to be phony, authorities said.

Somewhere Mike's laughing -- or grimacing.

Posted 10:20 AM by Gene

The Miss America capo Art wants to be P. T. Barnum and whack people over the head with his pageant. Problem is, P. T. died 104 years ago Thursday.

Posted 10:02 AM by Gene

OR:

[N]o Republican in Congress has criticized DeLay publicly, not even on an off-the-record basis.

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" whimpered Chris "THE PREENING CHICKEN" Shays.

Posted 9:55 AM by Gene

Oh I see, it's THE PAPER OF RE-CORD's fault that SNIDELY WHIPLASH LOOKS like a sleazeball, and THINKS like a sleazeball, and ACTS like a sleazeball.

In short, a SLEAZEBALL isn't a SLEAZEBALL when he's OUR SLEAZEBALL. Great writing, RICH -- almost as good as MITCH ALBOM'S!

Posted 9:52 AM by Gene

To begin with, I don't believe that anyone should be compelled to do work he or she regards as unethical.

TRANSLATION: Thank GOD I'm a newspaper columnist!

Posted 9:43 AM by Gene

OH oh, our favorite sports writer is in TROUBLE -- it's made USAOKAY!!!!!'s home page!

Posted 9:40 AM by Gene

"You just hate it for the fans," David Toms said.

Oh I feel SO sorry for the fans -- the CEOs and other high mucky-mucks who parade up and down the fairways like royalty (and I don't mean Princie Charles and his betrothed) and come back to the office screaming, "I HAVE A PASS TO THE MASTERS AND YOU WON'T!!!!!"

I'm beginning to wonder if Howell Raines had the right idea.

Posted 9:36 AM by Gene

And may they live happily ever after -- or at least until the first throwing of vases.

Posted 5:37 PM by Gene

I think we are all disappointed that MAXIMUM AIRHEAD will not get to meet with the seals, but it's just as well -- they may have found her too BLUBBERY.

Posted 5:34 PM by Gene

The Postal Service makes one more argument for e-mail.

And of course they're raising the first class rate to ANOTHER number that requires PENNIES. Why not 40 cents, or do round numbers not occur to Ph.Ds in POSTAL ENGINEERING?

Posted 5:22 PM by Gene

Pay special attention to these names of some of the holy men who will choose the next pope:

LATIN AMERICA:

Geraldo Majella Agnelo, 71, Brazil (2001), Archbishop of Sao Salvador da Bahia

Jorge Mario Bergoglio, 68, Argentina (2001), Archbishop of Buenos Aires

Dario Castrillon Hoyos, 75, Colombia (1998), Prefect Emeritus of Clergy, Roman Curia

Juan Luis Cipriani Thorne, 61, Peru (2001), Archbishop of Lima

Francisco Javier Errazuriz Ossa, 71, Chile (2001), Archbishop of Santiago

Jose Freire Falcao, 79, Brazil (1988), Archbishop Emeritus of Brasilia

Claudio Hummes, 70, Brazil (2001), Archbishop of Sao Paulo

Nicolas de Jesus Lopez Rodriguez, 68, Dominican Republic (1991), Archbishop of Santo Domingo

Alfonso Lopez Trujillo, 69, Colombia (1983), President Emeritus of Family, Roman Curia

Javier Lozano Barragan, 72, Mexico (2003), President Emeritus of Pastoral Assistance to Health Care Workers, Roman Curia

Jorge Arturo Medina Estevez, 78, Chile (1998), Prefect Emeritus of Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments, Roman Curia

Miguel Obando Bravo, 79, Nicaragua (1985), Archbishop Emeritus of Managua

Jaime Lucas Ortega y Alamino, 68, Cuba (1994), Archbishop of Havana

Rodolfo Quezada Toruno, 73, Guatemala (2003), Archbishop of Guatemala

Norberto Rivera Carrera, 62, Mexico (1998), Archbishop of Mexico City

Oscar Andres Rodriguez Maradiaga, 62, Honduras (2001), Archbishop of Tegucigalpa

Pedro Rubiano Saenz, 72, Colombia (2001), Archbishop of Bogota

Juan Sandoval Iniguez, 72, Mexico (1994), Archbishop of Guadalajara

Eusebio Oscar Scheid, 72, Brazil (2003), Archbishop of Rio de Janeiro

Adolfo Antonio Suarez Rivera, 78, Mexico (1994), Archbishop Emeritus of Monterrey

Julio Terrazas Sandoval, 69, Bolivia (2001), Archbishop of Santa Cruz de la Sierra....

___

AFRICA:

Bernard Agre, 79, Ivory Coast (2001), Archbishop of Abidjan

Francis Arinze, 72, Nigeria (1985), Prefect Emeritus of Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments, Roman Curia

Frederic Etsou-Nzabi-Bamungwabi, 74, Democratic Republic of Congo (1991), Archbishop of Kinshasa

Wilfrid Fox Napier, 64, South Africa (2001), Archbishop of Durban

Anthony Olubunmni Okogie, 68, Nigeria (2003), Archbishop of Lagos

Polycarp Pengo, 60, Tanzania (1998), Archbishop of Dar-es-Salaam

Armand Gaetan Razafindratandra, 79, Madagascar (1994), Archbishop of Antananarivo

Christian Wiyghan Tumi, 74, Cameroon (1988), Archbishop of Douala

Peter Kodwo Appiah Turkson, 56, Ghana (2003), Archbishop of Cape Coast

Emmanuel Wamala, 78, Uganda (1994), Archbishop of Kampala

Gabriel Zubeir Wako, 64, Sudan (2003), Archbishop of Khartoum

___

ASIA:

Ignace Moussa I Daoud, 74, Syria (2001), Prefect Emeritus of Oriental Churches, Roman Curia

Julius Riyadi Darmaatmadja, 70, Indonesia (1994), Archbishop of Jakarta

Ivan Dias, 68, India (2001), Archbishop of Bombay

Stephen Fumio Hamao, 75, Japan (2003), President Emeritus of the Pontifical Council for Pastoral Care of Migrants and Itinerant Peoples, Roman Curia

Michael Michai Kitbunchu, 76, Thailand (1983), Archbishop of Bangkok

Jean-Baptiste Pham Minh Man, 70, Vietnam (2003), Archbishop of Ho Chi Minh City

Peter Seiichi Shirayanagi, 76, Japan (1994), Archbishop Emeritus of Tokyo

Jaime Lachica Sin, 76, Philippines (1976), Archbishop Emeritus of Manila

Telesphore Placidus Toppo, 65, India (2003), Archbishop of Ranchi

Ricardo J. Vidal, 74, Philippines (1985), Archbishop of Cebu

Varkey Vithayathil, 77, India (2001), Major Archbishop of Ernakulam-Angamaly

Here's predicting if one of these men isn't the next pope, someone from these lands soon will be.

Posted 5:12 PM by Gene

Now the JUNIOR CLUNKER BROTHER joins in the misery!

But the misery may not love TOO MUCH company:

Earlier this week, the company detailed a slew of pay raises to its top executive, including a compensation package valued at about $22 million for Bill Ford.

At Ford, Quality is Job -- 22 MILLION!!

Posted 5:10 PM by Gene

Eric Rudolph has agreed to plead guilty and admit setting off a deadly bomb at the 1996 Atlanta Olympics and three other blasts in a deal that allows the anti-government extremist to escape the death penalty, Justice Department officials said Friday.

Let us hope this IS justice, and not the mockery of the first time.

Posted 5:08 PM by Gene

CBS Cameraman Could Be Iraq Insurgent

Let's give him a PEABODY AWARD!

CAVEAT: This IS NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 5:07 PM by Gene

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANYBODY OUT THERE?????

Posted 5:02 PM by Gene

In MORE EHDYUKAYSHUN NEWS:

Lawsuit: Teacher Makes Girl Unclog Toilet

AND:

Teacher Allegedly Smokes Pot With Students

WHICH FOLLOW:

Doctors Remove Leech From Woman's Nose

Why couldn't a TEACHER have done it?

Posted 11:32 AM by Gene

Massacre in Rio Getting Little Attention

So what else is new?

Posted 11:25 AM by Gene

Sen. Chafee plans to vote for president's U.N. ambassador nominee

AW SHUCKS, the Democratic Party will have to wait another day.

Posted 11:22 AM by Gene

Hey SENIOR CLUNKER BROTHER! Think we can muzzle the SALES -- ANALYSTS?

Posted 11:16 AM by Gene

Turns out that KnightRidder Philly Tabloid Edition "BLOG" is not so anonymous after all: it's written by a P-Ulitzer CO-WINNER -- and it has a following!

A couple of more months and you'll be as demagog -- POPULAR as KOS!!!!!

P. S. Hey BUD, run some POP-UPS and you'll be the POWERLINE of the LEFT. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 10:17 AM by Gene

It appears weblogs.com is down so I may not even get the minisculest number of hits. I just might give up this uselessness if things like this keep happening. What's the point of typing to yourself?

Posted 9:38 AM by Gene

MEATHEAD FOR GOVERNOR!!!!!

Versus the Terminator. Only in America.

Posted 8:39 AM by Gene

And now, a tribute to THE PEABODY AWARDS:

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP.

Posted 8:34 AM by Gene

PRODUCT PLACEMENT: THE NEW PANACEA OF AMERICAN ADVERTISING:

This week, Angie was fired because of her incompetent presentation to American Eagle executives. In the boardroom, however, she tried her best to blame others; in particular, she targeted the modeling agency used by the teams (another sponsor?), one of its models and a retailer featured in the episode.

The retailer was Best Buy, which was shown as Chris purchased electronic gear for his teams' presentation. Angie was upset because Chris had to spend hours there after leaving a credit card behind. When he returned the next day, Best Buy's employees' failure to locate the card gave Chris a reason to give us some of that anger we know so well: "I hope they find the credit card so I don't have to find an aluminum bat and break someone's kneecaps," he said. While he was waiting, Chris was interviewed in front of a group of widescreen TVs that all showed Best Buy's logo, and the store's name was mentioned repeatedly, so viewers were clearly aware of where he was.

Best Buy may have wished their logo had been blurred out, because not only did the retailer fail to give the credit card back after the transaction, but it took them an hour to locate it, and during that time a cast member threatened to physically harm their employees because of their incompetence. There's some great advertising for Best Buy, which goes nicely with the recent publicity it gathered after a store called the cops when a man paid with $2 bills.

Another section of the AMERICAN SOCIETY OF WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS' code states: "Money spent on advertising is never wasted, for it finances our media clients and assures their long term need for our services."

Posted 8:32 AM by Gene

Senate GOP mulls shift on Social Security
Idea is to drop personal accounts -- temporarily

Bill Frist! Are you running for PRESIDENT?

Posted 8:22 AM by Gene

Nearly 11 million children under 5 and more than half a million new mothers die each year, most of them from easily preventable causes, says a report on maternal and child health released Thursday for World Health Day.

If that's the case why do we have the League of Nations and its sundry organizations? I thought they were supposed to take care of these problems? Instead they issue REPORTS and celebrate DAYS.

Posted 6:36 AM by Gene

OOOOOoooooh, the SENIOR CLUNKER BROTHER, which merrily traipses through the American village flinging huge wads of money at anyone resembling a Hollywood producer or newspaper publisher, and yells, "We don't care what you do with our money -- just spend spend SPEND!!", has pulled its ads from TRIB's LALA paper because -- it said naughty words about the company!!!!!

This is stirring behavior -- especially since as a member of the AMERICAN SOCIETY OF WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS it hews by the central rule of the ASWIA Code that "Good taste is censorship, and any member of this Society who practices it is subject to forfeiture of membership." Excellent, CLUNKER! This rivals anything you've done since UNSAFE AT ANY SPEED!

P. S. $10 MILLION! BAD TV, HERE WE COME!!!!!

Posted 8:27 PM by Gene

More evidence the Empire is gone: Britain is without a car manufacturer.

Why do I think someday the business will be all China's and Japan's?

Posted 5:28 PM by Gene

Shucks, Kirk Kerkorian knew what he was getting into.

Now let's fire JUERGEN SHEMP -- er, SCHRRRRRRRRRREMPP!

Posted 5:25 PM by Gene

MR. LAW, the Catholic church's version of an INCOMPETENT GM EXECUTIVE, has a PLACE OF PRIDE in the POPE'S FUNERAL, which means the next Pontiff may have a REAL HOUSECLEANING ahead of him.

Posted 5:16 PM by Gene

Democrats Weigh 2006 Challenge to DeLay

TRANSLATION: It's NEVER too early for us HACKS to CAMPAIGN!

Posted 5:12 PM by Gene

Jane Fonda: What does she want from us?

MONEY!!!!!

Posted 5:05 PM by Gene

Everybody's favorite sports columnist Mitch Albom is in trouble for shading a few facts, and judging from Romy's letters page this is SERIOUS. I do not feel the least bit sorry for him. He's become a zillionaire writing preachy Oprahesque books, and he has a feet-on-the-desk job. The guy is obviously something beyond a mere mortal. Why should we give such a high mucky-muck so much as the time of day?

Posted 10:56 AM by Gene

OOOOOOOOOOooooooooooh, OMERTA finds a CONGRESSMAN with a CONFLICT OF INTEREST!

Sighhhhhhhhh, here I go again: it's this kind of advanced legalism that will bring Republicans down -- the idea that their heavily-vetted corruption is for the greater good. But OMERTA's legalism does no good either because we know he's after this guy not for his corruption, but because he's a REPUBLICAN.

Sometime ago I said if the DEMOCRATS were a decent party the REPUBLICANS would be in the same forlorn place as CANADA'S PROGRESSIVE CONSERVATIVES. I STAND BY THAT STATEMENT.

Posted 9:38 AM by Gene

THE PAPER OF RE-CORD HAS FOUND A NEW MEANS OF JAYSONING.

How about THIS one, O RARE NEW PUBLIC EDITOR?

Posted 9:10 AM by Gene

We know the memo was distributed to at least one Democratic senator. We don't know whether it was distributed to any Republican senator other then the senator whose staffer wrote it (although it's hard to believe it wasn't given to at least some other GOP lawmakers). Allen's story left the now-unsupported impression that Republican senators were conspiratorially reading the memo amongst themselves; d) The whole "memo" fuss, as played up by WaPo and ABC's Linda Douglass, was wildly overdone even if the memo was a GOP leadership document--as if senators never consider what is a good political issue, as if that's a no-no in a democracy. (Phoning Martin Luther King Jr. in jail was a "good political issue" for Sen. John Kennedy--and if you were trying to convince him to make the call that's something you'd have pointed out!) But certainly whatever legitimate valence Allen's 'memo' story had depended almost entirely on the impression that the memo revealed and represented the strategy of the GOP leaders who pushed the Schiavo bill. If all that was involved was a staff memo Martinez gave to Harkin, Allen's story was way out of whack. The memo wasn't close to being worth the play it got in WaPo or in Douglass' report. (It's not worth the current Senate investigation either. What's the crime--politicians considering politics?) ... 9:56 P.M.

We like you, Mick, but honestly you can be as guilty of blahblahblahing as the POP-UP POWERLINE BOZOS, and you posted it before that staffer resigned. A second-order demerit to YOU.

Posted 9:07 AM by Gene

NOT THAT YOU ASKED... [Jonah Goldberg]
But Ian Ziering is 41 years old and thriving doing cartoon voice-overs.
Posted at 08:19 AM

Have you ever thought of that, JG?

Posted 8:59 AM by Gene

To his credit the Pope did think of resigning. (It is something this humble blogger mentioned twice.) Had he resigned in 2000 his church might have better survived the agonies of the last five years, not least with MR. LAW's lawless crew.

To his even greater credit his testament mentions the rabbi of Rome. Here was a man of understanding.

Posted 8:42 AM by Gene

Today is to be another day when I'll get no hits regardless of how hard I try -- and yet so many of the BIG NAMES can SHOOT THEMSELVES IN THE FOOT and GET MORE HITS. ANYBODY OUT THERE?????

Posted 8:29 AM by Gene

A POP-UP BLOGGER OF THE MILLENNIUM (brought to you by AMERICAN EXPRESS) on THE MEMO OF THE CENTURY:

So it seems clear what happened: The Post originally wrote a story that explicitly claimed that the "talking points memo" was drafted and distributed by the Republican leadership. That version of the story went out over the paper's wire service and was picked up by dozens of news outlets. Before the paper went to press, however, someone apparently realized that they had no basis for attributing the memo to Republicans, and the key language was deleted from the story that actually appeared in print. That story said: "An unsigned one-page memo, distributed to Republican senators, said the debate over Schiavo would appeal to the party's base, or core, supporters." And ever since, reporter Mike Allen and others at the Post have said that they never meant to imply that the memo was created or distributed by Republicans.

This position seems disingenuous. The Washington Post did distribute a version of the story that explicitly attributed the memo to the GOP's leadership. And even in the revised version that appeared in print, the implication that the "talking points memo" was a Republican strategy document is clear.

Yet the Post has done nothing to correct or retract the version of its story that apparently went out on the evening of March 19. And to our knowledge, not a single one of the dozens of newspapers and other news outlets that printed the false claim that the memo was circulated by the Republican leadership has retracted or corrected the claim either.

STILL, there may be a story here: The memo in question is a pathetic piece of work. It is on a blank piece of paper with no letterhead, signature, or identification. It gets the Senate bill number wrong, misspells Terri Schiavo's name, and is full of typographical errors. The only people reported to have distributed it (by the New York Times) were Democratic staffers. And--most fundamentally--it is odd to think that the Republican leadership would produce a "talking points" memo discussing what great politics the Schiavo case was for Republicans. Those aren't talking points; not for Republicans, anyway.

MORON.

P. S. Hey POP-UPS! BAD NEWS! Both the NEW IE AND FIREFOX BLOCK POP-UPS! I think we ought to team with WALTER "SPYWARE" WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!! and launch an R&D OPERATION to DEFEAT THESE EFFORTS!

Posted 8:22 AM by Gene

Annan: U.N. Needs New Human Rights Body

...like I need another hole in my head.

Posted 8:12 AM by Gene

And while it's wasting our BIG-LEAGUE MONEY on the BIGS, maybe the AMERICAN SOCIETY OF WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS can finagle a few more bucks THIS GUY'S WAY.

Posted 6:58 AM by Gene

Another reason to be dubious of the Ivy League.

Posted 6:46 AM by Gene

His Serene Highness Prince Rainier III (May 31, 1923 - April 6, 2005) - Tributes for Monaco's Long-Serving and Truly Extraordinary Monarch -

Affectionately known as "the Builder Prince," He [SIC] instigated countless
avant-garde infrastructure policies since the 1950s and for more than a
half-century oversaw the Principality's unique geographical extension and its exceptional economic development.

TRANSLATION: HE built a lot of ugly corporate cement-box casinos.

Posted 6:37 AM by Gene

A study by executive search firm Spencer Stuart found that the percentage of CEOs at Fortune 500 companies who were educated at Ivy League schools declined from 16% in 1998 to 11% in 2004. Even the Harvard MBA shows signs of erosion. Among large-company CEOs who have MBAs, 28% received their degrees at Harvard, according to the 1998 study. By 2004, that had slipped to 23%.

A survey by the Wharton School at the Ivy League's University of Pennsylvania indicates the trend extends back 25 years. In 1980, 14% of CEOs at Fortune 100 companies received their undergraduate degrees from an Ivy League school. By 2001, 10% of CEOs received undergraduate degrees at one of the eight Ivies: Brown, Columbia, Cornell, Dartmouth, Harvard, Princeton, University of Pennsylvania and Yale. The percentage of CEOs with undergraduate degrees from public colleges and universities shot up from 32% in 1980 to 48% in 2001.

I'd like to hear someone who isn't from the Ivies say this is a bad thing. Of course there are several reasons for this: other schools have stronger business programs -- and the Ivies engage in too much educational politics and fiddle-dee-dee.

Posted 6:26 AM by Gene

A GUILTY MAN IS CAUGHT! THE WAPOST GLOATS!

All right, all right, you got your man, it wasn't a Democrat (so much for all those con-SER-va-tive talking points), and it was a dumb thing to do; but in order to challenge their opponents' beliefs NEWS HACKS increasingly talk of the MECHANICS of things -- just as con-SER-va-tives did with DAN BLATHER'S MEMO.

No, in the business of NEWS HACK POLITICS YOU CAN'T TRUST ANYBODY.

Posted 6:18 AM by Gene

Former government officials have accused Mr. Bolton of improperly circumventing State Department channels to gain access to confidential sensitive intelligence reports, the Congressional officials said.

I don't know of a SINGLE Democrat who'd EVER do a thing like THAT, would he? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

In addition, there have been accusations that Mr. Bolton has sought to remove dissenters from their posts or bar them from meetings called to discuss policies.

OOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooh, we Democrats and PAPER OF RE-CORD types would NEVER do anything like THAT, WOULD WE? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Posted 3:16 PM by Gene

Shhh. Don't tell anyone our prices.

Great strategy for a supermarket chain that's about to spend millions financing JUNK TELEVISION, n'est ce pas?

Posted 3:05 PM by Gene

Some incredible force has decided people should not read my blog. It is one thing to get one or two stragglers for three or four hours; it's another to get nobody when you've typed five or six posts and have pinged Technorati. What is wrong with my blog?

Posted 2:58 PM by Gene

This, as one might guess, is quickly becoming intolerable. Republicans are defending a SLEAZY POL because of his politics; Democrats are attacking a sleazy pol because of his POLITICS.

Both sides are agreed: THE PUBLIC BE DAMNED!!!!!

Posted 2:40 PM by Gene

Isn't it time HOT YOUNG WRITERS PAID for writing GAWDAWFUL BOOKS?

Posted 2:19 PM by Gene

Space shuttle rollout delayed by crack in tank foam

Why not delay it permanently and fly something else?

Posted 2:15 PM by Gene

Annan Retains Noted Criminal Attorney

Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh-da DUT DUT!

Caveat: it is NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 9:50 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: Eventually, EVENTUALLY, we'll find a TOTAL PUSHOVER.

Posted 8:54 AM by Gene

Whatever happened to DA BULLS?

Posted 8:31 AM by Gene

May BOTH sides lose.

Posted 8:22 AM by Gene

• Literary titan Saul Bellow dies [home-page hed]

TRANSLATION: Anyone here know who he was?

I would offer up an opinion but all I know is he was a writer who was said to be a reasonably good one, and I'll leave it at that.

P. S. Who but Terry Teachout could have written this?

I just got an urgent e-mail from an editor informing me that Saul Bellow died earlier today and asking if I wanted to write an appreciation. I said no, not merely because I'M TAKING WEDNESDAY OFF!! but because Bellow never really interested me, not as a writer and not as a man. I didn’t find him at all sympathetic, yet he didn’t irritate me enough to cause the accretion of a strong negative opinion. He simply wasn’t on my screen (except when he took a shot at me in the New York Times, but that's another story).

Might it have been a generational thing? Among the New York intellectuals, Bellow was a fixed star, a literary giant about whom you had to have an opinion, be it good or bad. I don’t think that’s true today, and I wonder how well his work will be remembered ten years from now, or even five. My guess—and it’s nothing more than that—is that he’ll be seen as a period piece. That doesn’t exactly add up to an appreciation, does it?

Five years ago, by the way, I would have said yes to that editor, run straight to the nearest bookstore, come back with a tall stack of paperbacks, and stayed up all night knocking out a thousand words of well-honed prose. I may be a workaholic, but at least I’m no longer a degenerate one.

Posted 6:49 AM by Gene

Someone discovers the IMMORTAL GENIUS of ROCK, and threatens to get himself OSTRACIZED FROM THE WRITING BIZ:

[B]eing an adult and desiring adulthood are two different things. Singing about Jesus or Northern Ireland or political dissidents while wearing wrap around shades, standing behind a circus stage, accompanied by a thumping, monotonous beat and flashing strobe lights, delivering your lyrics with poses of profundity common to high school students everywhere, is as adolescent as it gets.

Posted 6:46 AM by Gene

DUBYA SNUBBED JIMMAH!

WAY TO GO!!!!!

Posted 6:39 AM by Gene

We still wish the best for Peter, even as Bill "MENSA MAN" Carter insists on telling us the survival rate for lung-cancer patients; but we suspect NEWS HACKS are getting sniffy about this in a way they've faked with the Pope, which further goes to show they'll ALWAYS be NUMBER ONE.

Posted 6:27 AM by Gene

DUBYA DISCOVERS THE TRUST FUND!!!!!

Posted 6:25 AM by Gene

Prince Rainier, benign petty tyrant of the musical-comedy principality of Monaco with its casinos and Inspector Clouseaus, who married Grace Kelly and locked her in his prison-castle for 26 years, and who sired several children whose fame came in being temporarily pretty and getting their names in papers, has died. RIP.

Posted 8:00 PM by Gene

I'm not crazy about Wal-Mart either, but I really luuuuuuuuve the idea of forcing it to pay for health-care costs. That's taking the free out of free enterprise -- even if con-SER-va-tives have made it a curse word.

Posted 7:46 PM by Gene

And on the SOFTER SIDE OF SELL -- I mean, in CELEBRITY NEWS, the AL NEUHARTH OF SHOW-BIZ got himself A PUBLICITY STUNT!

Way to go GRAYDON! You couldn't have done better if you'd THOUGHT IT UP YOURSELF!!

(Did you?)

Posted 7:44 PM by Gene

GOP's moral agenda doubted

TRANSLATION: We can rig our polls any way we like!

Posted 5:38 PM by Gene

CPB Taps Bode, Schulz as Ombudsmen

A cynic may suggest public broadcasters are doing this to preserve their PREROGATIVES. A cynic...may be right.

Just SELL the networks and make them A&E, LAWRENCE A-WELK and ALL NEWS ALL THE TIME FOREVER.

Posted 5:14 PM by Gene

This is evidently becoming THE NEXT BIG THING with the HACKS -- so-called BLOGS that are nothing more than pages within newspaper Web sites, with allegedly random musings, which conclusively prove bloggers who are PAID SIX DIGITS can be talentless too. Here KNIGHTRIDDER PHILLY TABLOID EDITION isn't afraid to show its parent has ATTYTOOD by listing Kos as a favorite and the Professor under the heading "If You Must." Hey Tony! Doesn't this sort-of undercut the notion that your TYPISTS are FAIR and NEUTRAL? How can this ANONYMOUS "blogger" go on a rant about some EEEEEEEEEEVIL REPUBLICAN SENATOR and look a Republican politician straight in the eye? Don't worry, anything's possible -- with NEWS HACKS.

Well, there is GOOD news here -- the HACKS are moving their HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL MODEL to the WEB!

Hey guys! What's that between those two buns there? The usual BS?

P. S.

A 1962 University of Michigan graduate, Ridder holds a B.A. degree in economics.

Which means he can invent lots of excuses for circulation declines -- like DO-NOT-CALL LISTS! And LIFESTYLES!!

Posted 5:05 PM by Gene

I absolutely DETEST these government make-a-lists. In this case we have another popularity contest that paves the way for [C]RAPPERS and other assorted JUNKMEISTERS to receive government sanction. I revere the Library of Congress but what the hell do it and the AUGUST memBAHS of the NATIONAL RECORDING PRESERVATION BOARD know about MUSIC?

Posted 4:57 PM by Gene

Books by Washington Post writers have won Pulitzers for three years in a row, once in history and twice now in general non-fiction (Atkinson, Applebaum, Coll). And just a quick glance around my immediate part of the newsroom, I see a bunch of other folks who've written books in the last year or so: Neely Tucker, Gene Robinson, Wil Haygood, Ann Gerhart, Lynne Duke, Von Drehle, Weingarten. Joel Garreau has a cool book on the future coming out soon. Lonnae O'Neal Parker has just finished a book. Stephen Hunter always has a book out. So now I know what you're thinking: That we should stop writing books and start writing newspaper stories. Good idea. Let me check with my agent.

How's PAUL ATTANASIO doing?

Posted 4:53 PM by Gene

Frist Says Courts in Schiavo Case Acted Fairly

Are you running for president?

Posted 1:45 PM by Gene

We all wish Peter a complete and speedy recovery. And take your time with the recovery. No need to show your testosterone like Bill Rehnquist. A gentle suggestion: go "natural" with the hair to drive home the cancer. Sorry to speak this way, but the realities of a multizillion-dollar anchorperson with cancer are not the same as an ordinary person's.

Posted 1:26 PM by Gene

Why must buying a computer be even faintly like buying a car? Ever since my old Dell Dimension when buggy last week I've been looking for a new one. Going through Dell.com (my first choice) is not pleasant. The company lowballs its offers -- and then when you've added all the features you want you've doubled the price! Plus their extended warranties may help their pocketbook but not yours. There's a kind of subliminal smirk to this site that has no doubt helped Dell's rep plunge among computer buyers; its well-publicized offshoring of customer service didn't hurt. And thanks to the REPUBLICANS' FAVORITE CORPORATE BEHAVIOR of INDISCRIMINATE MERGING there aren't that many quality alternatives left. I'm giving HP a try in part because I want a notebook to replace the intolerable profusion of boxes and cords, and it's said to make a really good multimedia machine. But do I REALLY want to buy a computer to watch TELEVISION?

Posted 12:12 PM by Gene

This exasperates me: While traveling home I got fifteen or twenty hits -- and they suddenly stopped. This morning I've posted nine times and have gotten no hits. It's this sort of capricious behavior that makes me wonder whether I have any business blogging, especially when it's so unproductive.

Posted 12:11 PM by Gene

The kinder, gentler AG shows he may not be so kind and gentle -- he wants to renew the PATRIOT ACT!

Had anyone heard from him before this?

Posted 12:07 PM by Gene

CABLE CONFAB EMBRACES CONVERGENCE AROUND INTERNET

Traslation: We'll REALLY make it expensive!

Posted 11:51 AM by Gene

And in more news of HYER LERNING, with college kids spending so much time downloading and listening to songs when do they have time to LEARN?

Posted 9:56 AM by Gene

The George H. W. Bush Memorial Wheelchair Ramp Act, whiteboards, a ten percent increase in building-material costs -- looks like our TAJ MAHALS of HYER LERNING are going to have MORE FUN with MONEY!!!!!

Posted 9:53 AM by Gene

Study: 35,000 News Stories on Pope's Death Worldwide

All saying the same thing, with a highly guarded element of annoyance.

Posted 9:23 AM by Gene

A female boxer who died from injuries sustained in a Colorado Golden Gloves boxing match this weekend is believed to be the first woman to die in an amateur boxing match in the United States.

Do I hear Ellen Goodman -- forget it.

Posted 9:04 AM by Gene

If Hanoi Jane ditched her reputation in the Worker's Paradise of North Vietnam she ditched her sense long before that -- if she ever had any.

Posted 8:53 AM by Gene

Berkshire Hathaway under Buffett has been a model of transparency and honesty. He famously noted that he writes his annual reports as if he were writing a letter to his Aunt Alice or his sister Doris, aiming for clarity, simplicity, and an absence of jargon or Clintonesque parsing. Buffett is also unique among CEOs for his willingness to criticize himself—he'll cop to a lousy year. (If you're the second-wealthiest man in America, it's easy to play humble.) But it's doubtful whether any of Buffett's relatives would have understood what was being done in these transactions.

Has anyone clicked on St. Warren's home page? It's as much an act as if a hundred Dilberts had designed it. He (and ALWAYS remember to capitalize His pronoun) may think by making it as "plain" as possible He is showing clarity, simplicity and an absence of jargon, but He merely makes a thing of His sincerity much as an overpaid CEO would make a thing of his hubris. Indeed the St.'s Web site looks like something for a Mafia company or a government sting operation. And if His Web site is largely an act, what can stop one from thinking He is largely an act? And let us not forget much of His wisdom comes from having invested in 1965.

What does the Bible say about false gods? Well we know what NEWS HACKS say -- we should IDOLIZE them.

Posted 6:55 AM by Gene

Speaking thereof, we know what ZELIG's hundreds of new sponsors spent two-thirds of their time haggling over -- the PERKS.

These supreme money-wasters could gabble till their faces turn blue and they could never convince me their first order of business isn't luxury boxes and showing off.

Posted 6:53 AM by Gene

We've said it once, we've said it a thousand times: The Congress's motto is "What's in it for me?"

Posted 10:51 PM by Gene

What will cause the likes of STERNO to have what will make conniptions seem mild by comparison -- this talk by Congressman Sensenbrenner of taking indecency into the criminal realm -- is the result of our looking so much the other way at the foulness of our culture we practically blindered ourselves.

Posted 10:48 PM by Gene

Taking what I fear is a cue from the late Pontiff, the Vatican is probably going to cut ties with Taiwan.

We know what China offers the Vatican: cover. What does the Vatican offer China? Platitudes?

Posted 10:45 PM by Gene

Great: G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE will enable VIDEO BLOGGING.

That should make KADIDDLEBLOG's service disruptions look like the height of excellence by comparison.

Posted 6:29 PM by Gene

Another cause celebre in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict -- garbage!

Needless to say this doesn't include all the RUBBISH NEWS HACKS have exported.

Posted 5:29 PM by Gene

The idiot AMERICAN SOCIETY OF WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS is always complaining about AD CLUTTER. WELL GUESS WHO'S ENDORSING SHORTER ADS, which mean MORE SALES PITCHES, which mean -- MORE CLUTTER?

I SAW THIS COMING WITH CHEAP CHANNEL'S STUNT. But then if you're one of those MORONIC MEDIA AD BUYERS you'll buy ANYTHING, on any SHOW, at any LENGTH, at any HOUR.

Posted 5:04 PM by Gene

Only on PRNEWSWIRE:

Unrecorded Elvis 'Roses' Song Surfaces; Search Is on for New 'King' to Record It

I don't know about a new "King" but there sure will be hundreds of jesters.

Posted 3:50 PM by Gene

Unfortunately it's that time of year when the NEWS HACKS celebrate themselves -- with the P-Ulitzers. Look down the list and what is conspicuously missing? IRAQ (save for a photography award) and the ELECTION. It's as if the Columbia eggheads didn't want to OFFEND anybody. Indeed the list of topics that won the esteemed P-U sounds almost anodyne -- nothing to really upset anybody, which probably explains why IRAQ and the ELECTION are MIA. The only winner I recognize is the ad-blurb copywriter Joe Morgenstern, presumably because he raved some favorites. I can't wait to learn what cultural artifacts have won the P-U.

P. S. The AHTS winners mean nothing as I suspected; most certainly they'll disappear as have so many P-Ulitzer winners.

Posted 2:41 PM by Gene

One more time on the Pope and Iraq:

Civiltà Cattolica (Catholic Civilisation), a Jesuit journal that reflects Vatican views, said that “the Islamic masses, which already harbour a deep hatred of the West, will see it as an act of war against Islam”. The journal said that the real US motive was economic and that the concept of “preventive war” was highly dangerous. “If every country which feels threatened attacks first, there will be war without end on the entire planet,” it said.

AND:

Pope John Paul made no official comment on Saddam's capture, which was announced as the pope prayed the Angelus Dec. 14 with pilgrims at the Vatican.

The Vatican newspaper, L'Osservatore Romano, reported the news the next day on its front page under the headline: "A trail of blood follows the capture of Saddam Hussein." The newspaper noted that a series of deadly attacks had continued in Iraq after Saddam's arrest.

The newspaper said the dictator's detention, however, widened the prospects for an era of peace, justice and normal life in Iraq.

OH.

To be sure, it's hard to judge the Pope as he often spoke in vaporous generalities, nor is cinching the truth helped by zingers like "The BBC's David Willey in Rome says there was no mistake about which conflict he was referring to." But even if John Paul was not expressly against the war, enough of his underlings were. Sorry, though perhaps not literally opposed to our war, he was figuratively. This is largely moot in any case. We fought, we won, and things in Iraq seem to be improving.

Posted 2:31 PM by Gene

More of the famous ROMY:

Letters: Ever notice that newspapers treat people badly?

No, I was just born yesterday.

Posted 12:03 PM by Gene

Thanks to a matchmaker called IWantMedia.com, we found three people who were MADE for one another: First, two footstompers who say CORPORATE MEDIA ARE LEADING US TO A MILITARY DICTATORSHIP!!!!! Second, DARTH VADER, who doesn't watch much TV other than news, and who says he wouldn't be "worth s--t" if he had to judge shows by other than spreadsheets, odd as he's helped turned cable into a very excremental business. I repeat, they're MADE for one another.

Posted 10:35 AM by Gene

Only C-SPAN could have made an EXQUISITE MESS like THIS.

And it doesn't have a happy ending:

C-SPAN, which usually prides itself on its genteel approach, took an on-air swipe at Mr. Cohen, the Washington Post columnist who took Ms. Lipstadt’s side in the dispute with the network. The host of the program, Susan Swain, pointed out that in 1996 Mr. Cohen faulted an American publishing house, St. Martin’s Press, for dropping its plans to distribute Mr. Irving’s biography of the Nazi propaganda chief, Joseph Goebbels.

“We cannot get to the point where the Holocaust, which is a historic event, gets to be treated like a biblical story — beyond criticism and shielded from hostile scholarship,” Mr. Cohen wrote at the time.

The columnist, who lives in Manhattan, did not return a call seeking comment on C-SPAN’s suggestion that his recent column amounted to an about-face.

Figures.

Posted 10:06 AM by Gene

RICHARD "GUNS CAUSED COLUMBINE!!!!!" CORLISS waxes nostalgic about his CHILDHOOD (or rather, his EARLY childhood, as there is no sign he's GROWN UP yet):

Pornography, and movies, used to be a whole lot more interesting.

Happily, the porno biz does $57 billion in biz -- or $100 billion, or $300 trillion -- NUMBERS DON'T MATTER IN THIS RACKET.

The ambitious porn films of the early 70s have basically gone missing. Deep Throat is available (though not through amazon.com) on DVD, and Alice in Wonderland on VHS, but most of the others I've mentioned required a video-store or mail-order scavenger hunt to track down.

Dick, I think we MUST get the AMERICAN FILM INSTITUTE to look into these NEGLECTED...

PEOPLE PAY TO READ YOUR JUNK?

P. S. A banner ad for Vonage that showed when I retrieved this piece of -- something you scrape off your shoe:

LOOKS LIKE GEEKS CAN GO BACK TO BEING DORKS.

Posted 9:55 AM by Gene

A HUGE GASP FROM NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:

POLL: DELAY'S SUPPORT HAS SLIPPED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hasn't the time come for SNIDELY WHIPLASH to meet his prosecutors without an honorific?

Posted 9:51 AM by Gene

In more of SLICK'S LEGACY:

About one in five ninth-graders report having had oral sex and almost one-third say they intend to try it during the next six months, a small study of teens at two California schools reports.

The teenagers, whose average age was 14½, also say oral sex is less risky, more common and more acceptable for their age group than intercourse.

CAVEAT: This is California. And natch, "researchers" are endorsing the KIDS. The fearsome strain of BIOETHICISM SWEEPS the land.

Posted 9:30 AM by Gene

OR:

The reason the mythos must be maintained that “for the church to survive it must modernize,” despite the obvious fact that the opposite is true, is because of the liberals’ belief that whatever is happening among lesser people than themselves does not really count. Humanity is defined by its perfection, not Christ as the Christian masses have always believed in him, but the Enlightened Person, and Jesus of Nazareth only so far as his opinions can be construed as intelligent by current liberal standards.

Simple Christians have a name for the Enlightened Person and his religion: Antichrist. Let us make no mistake. Those who have the consummate nerve on the death of the pope to tell the Christians for whom he stood what they (and the next pope) should believe and do, in defiance of his teaching and the whole Christian tradition, have, to say the least, no standing among us. If the next pope agrees with the pontificators, he's not catholic.

A tip of the cap to Guardian Unlimited and GoogleNews for linking to this.

Posted 9:18 AM by Gene

A RUPERTIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SCRIBBLER suggests the next Pope turn the Catholic church into something between the British Vicarage and Tea-Time Club and the Unitarian Social Halls.

Brilliant, Ruthie! Then there'll be 3,000 Catholics worldwide -- and LOTS OF EMPTY HISTORIC LANDMARKS.

Many news hacks HATED the Pope but don't have the GUTS to SAY IT.

Posted 9:12 AM by Gene

Now the scam's TUTORS!

In EHDYUKAYSHUN, as in gambling, only the HOUSE wins.

Guess who's big in the TUTORING BIZ.

Some in Congress are calling for regulations or quality standards to ensure that tutors are qualified and that the companies provide services that meet students' needs.

Let's see the WaPosties turn CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICAN in a JIFF.

Posted 9:06 AM by Gene

The late Pope is #2, #5, #9 and #19 on Amazon.com. Astounding. By contrast, LEGENDARY WELCH is only #11. The best laid plans of mice and MARKS....

Posted 8:20 AM by Gene

ChevronTexaco to Acquire Unocal

Which means (with any luck) we'll have ChevronTexacoUnocal. Then maybe ExxonMobil will buy ChevronTexacoUnocal and we'll have ExxonMobilChevronTexacoUnocal. THEN --

We'll be back to the days of John D. Rockefeller.

Posted 8:14 AM by Gene

"The audience has changed," says Leroy Sievers, a former "Nightline" executive producer. "People don't necessarily want to hear both sides of the story, which is what 'Nightline' did best. They want to hear, 'You're right! They're wrong!' "

Of course the definition of "both sides of the story" is a tricky business, especially when you're telling both sides of a one-sided story.

Richard Hanley of Quinnipiac University's School of Communications calls Koppel's departure a "tragedy" for more reflective news coverage....[Emphasis added]

Already the MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOURNING has begun. Strange, isn't it: we can MOOOOOOOOOOOURN for the death -- I mean, the DEPARTURE of Lord Koppel of ESPNCorp, but when John Paul dies you can hear the gnashing of teeth ALL OVER.

Posted 6:52 AM by Gene

This'll get the geeks excited -- a video game that SHOOTS BACK!!!!!

GO FOR IT! Then you'll REALLY wish you could

GET A LIFE!!!!!

Posted 6:42 AM by Gene

Well! This once and future Prince MUST get married, even if he steps on the Pope's funeral.

When does the matrimonial dissension begin this time?

UPDATE: Princie has decided to be "sensitive." Thank GOD for THAT.

FURTHER UPDATE: He's attending the FUNERAL! Double WELL!!

Posted 6:40 AM by Gene

Mind control, wacky philosophy, wacky finances, so what worries news hacks about Scientology?

HOMOPHOBIA.

Posted 6:30 AM by Gene

Aw, po Democwats, dey wun da media, dey wun academe, dey wun lots of tings, but dey don' wun da Congwess. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Posted 6:28 AM by Gene

OUR kind of Catholic...oh never mind.

Posted 10:12 PM by Gene

MARK STEYN:

Then there's the 59 striped-pants colossi of the Nixon-Ford-Reagan State Department who've sent a letter to the Senate calling on them to reject John Bolton's nomination as U.N. ambassador. According to the Associated Press report, the signatories include:

"Princeton Lyman, ambassador to South Africa and Nigeria under Presidents Reagan, George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton; Monteagle Stearns, ambassador to Greece and Ivory Coast in the Ford, Carter and Reagan administrations; and Spurgeon Keeny Jr., deputy director of the Arms Control Agency in the Carter administration."

Princeton Lyman? Monteagle Stearns? Spurgeon Keeny Jr.? If Norman Lear's shows had wacky characters like that, they'd still be in syndication.

MARK STEYN READS ME!!!!!

(Just kidding.)

Posted 8:50 PM by Gene

Having reinstalled an OS twice gave me the nudge to switch to Firefox as my Web browser, and thus far I like what I see. One of the best features is when you click on the favorites you've copied from IE you get to see all sorts of cute little icons, like the Topix "T" and the Wired News "W." NEATO!

Posted 8:44 PM by Gene

At THE CORNER they're mad because HACKS are saying the late Pope opposed the Iraq war, which they insist he didn't. They sound credible on this, and if NEWS HACKS can distort a POPE's words they can distort ANYBODY's. While this may be true, however, even the most fervent CORNERITES would be hard pressed to say he endorsed the war, and they would also have to admit that by that time in his papacy his Church was reeling from MR. LAW and his friends and was without a compass and convictions.

Posted 8:37 PM by Gene

THE NEW REPUBLIC LIVES!!!!!

Well look at it this way, Hanna -- hundreds of thousands more people get to grimace at you.

OR:

He left his beloved Europe cold to his charms, more secular than ever. He left America more adoring than faithful. His evangelization of the Third World had only limited effect. But maybe he found spiritual fulfillment in his disappointments.

TRANSLATION: I know better, being a news hack. (And the shame is she makes a case -- to which she applies the wrecking ball as a former writer of THE NEW REPUBLIC.)

Posted 6:28 PM by Gene

Think we can find some agreeable experts?

Posted 6:25 PM by Gene

Those who believe we could never have another Civil War may be whistling in the dark.

Posted 6:11 PM by Gene

One other thing: I typed rather foolishly in suggesting the new Pope might be Asian or African as I believe there's all but handful of cardinals on the two continents (I don't know); but I still suggest John Paul's successor will be from what is politically incorrectly called The Third World, and this includes Latin America, although I suspect most cardinals there may be out as they're infected with the deadly virus of LIBERATION THEOLOGY.

It will also be interesting to see what his name is. One of John Paul's few faults was that name out of the Beatles (and that was because he succeeded a pope who was poisoned or whatever), and I hope it will be something distinguished, and no compound.

Posted 6:10 PM by Gene

Which brings up the question: How many NEWS HACKS really believe their obituaries? After all, this Pope was reac -- CONSERVATIVE.

Posted 6:04 PM by Gene

Count on LEONID'S FRIEND to let loose his BURP.

THE POPE FOUGHT EUROPEAN COMMUNISM, BILLY. YOU AIDED IT.

Posted 5:45 PM by Gene

I'd like to have been a flea inside Les "Mooner" Moonves's ear:

G-----n POPE!! Who cares about the POPE? Get that @#$%^& SCHIEFFER OFF THE AIR!! The GAME, G-----n it, all we want is the game. The GAME!! THE GAAAAAAAAAAAAME!!!!!

Ditto the CEOs of MICKEY D's and the TASTY CARBONATED TOOTH-ROTTING ELIXIR CO, who must have been close to a heart attack both of them yesterday.

Posted 5:43 PM by Gene

Okay, MR. MARK, who's the greater man -- THE POPE or
LEGENDARY WELCH?????

We'll say the Pope, as he died in time for our cover.

Posted 5:41 PM by Gene

On a more cheerful note, NEWSPAPER PUBLISHERS haven't been THIS HAPPY in a MONTH of SUNDAYS!!!!!

Posted 5:39 PM by Gene

I'm in mind of THE MASTER now:



“The most awful sight of Dr. Johnson laid out on his bed, without life!”

Posted 4:21 PM by Gene

After three excruciating days I managed to fix my computer -- I don't know how, but I did it -- so I'll keep this clunker a little while longer. Nonetheless, it might pay to once again join Bill's Bandwagon of Planned Obsolescence.