THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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Saturday, December 02, 2006
Greatness, reported:
The front page of the New York Times illustrated the press coverage. It reported the various speeches given at Gettysburg including, without comment, Lincoln's. Within an inch of the president's remarks the paper reported at much length on an address of the Rev. Henry Ward Beecher. The headline: "A GREAT SPEECH."
All too often when the president's words reached the public, they did so in hilariously misprinted forms. In Lincoln's home state of Illinois, the citizens could read that the Gettysburg "ceremonies were the most solemn and impressive ever witnessed on this continent" and that Lincoln made a few "remarks," to wit: "Ninety years ago our fathers formed a Government consecrated to freedom." The Chicago Times started with "Four score and ten years ago."
"Now, we are engaged in the greatest civil war," wrote the Detroit Free Press, "testing whether that nation or any nation so consecrated and so dedicated can stand for many years." "Can longer remain," said the Chicago Tribune. "The dead will little heed. Let us long remember what we have," the Sacramento Daily Union went on, reporting "immense applause." "We owe this offering to our dead," seemed to appear everywhere. The New York Times, as many others, reported dedication to "the refinished work." "Refinished," as in a piece of furniture.
They were incompetent then; they are incompetent now.
P. S. When I hit on this page I got a @#$&*! CREEPY AD for ROZEREM. This goes for you too, MORT ZUCK.
The front page of the New York Times illustrated the press coverage. It reported the various speeches given at Gettysburg including, without comment, Lincoln's. Within an inch of the president's remarks the paper reported at much length on an address of the Rev. Henry Ward Beecher. The headline: "A GREAT SPEECH."
All too often when the president's words reached the public, they did so in hilariously misprinted forms. In Lincoln's home state of Illinois, the citizens could read that the Gettysburg "ceremonies were the most solemn and impressive ever witnessed on this continent" and that Lincoln made a few "remarks," to wit: "Ninety years ago our fathers formed a Government consecrated to freedom." The Chicago Times started with "Four score and ten years ago."
"Now, we are engaged in the greatest civil war," wrote the Detroit Free Press, "testing whether that nation or any nation so consecrated and so dedicated can stand for many years." "Can longer remain," said the Chicago Tribune. "The dead will little heed. Let us long remember what we have," the Sacramento Daily Union went on, reporting "immense applause." "We owe this offering to our dead," seemed to appear everywhere. The New York Times, as many others, reported dedication to "the refinished work." "Refinished," as in a piece of furniture.
They were incompetent then; they are incompetent now.
P. S. When I hit on this page I got a @#$&*! CREEPY AD for ROZEREM. This goes for you too, MORT ZUCK.
LENNY tries to make lemons into lemonade by insisting HIS senator was merely TELLING IT LIKE IT IS, and any difference of opinion is mere POLITICS, but of course TELLING IT LIKE IT IS never seems to apply to the person TELLING IT, or his friends.
If LENNY's boy had told off, say, THE EDWARD R. MURROW OF COMEDY, we'd have had respect for him. We don't think he would, because he's merely an ass.
If LENNY's boy had told off, say, THE EDWARD R. MURROW OF COMEDY, we'd have had respect for him. We don't think he would, because he's merely an ass.
Surprise: Nancy's new quota-person on intelligence is a hack pol with ethics -- "issues."
Anyone in the Puzzle Palace of the Potomac who isn't?
(Via the Plank)
Anyone in the Puzzle Palace of the Potomac who isn't?
(Via the Plank)
THE WORLD'S LEADING FAMILY ENTERTAINMENT COMPANY prepares for A NEW FAMILY MOVIE by cutting its animation staff.
Is Ub Iger drumming his well-paid fingers on his multi-million dollar table wondering when THE LORD GOD STEVE takes over?
Is Ub Iger drumming his well-paid fingers on his multi-million dollar table wondering when THE LORD GOD STEVE takes over?
Well, here's a dream for Henry Kravis: a $100 billion BANKRUP -- LBO!!!!!
And the BIG C ANNOUNCED IT!!!!! Won't go through. Then again....
And the BIG C ANNOUNCED IT!!!!! Won't go through. Then again....
Does anyone REALLY believe GE BANCORP AND REALTY NETWORK will do anything other than a TRAVELOGUE from Beijing? LEGENDARY WELCH got his men in the totalitarian spirit just as well as any Chinese Communist.
So! Ms. Pelosi may pass a Federal Excessive Use of Force Act and a law to prohibit "racial profiling."
I thought you new guys were CONSERVATIVE! Pffffffffffffffffffffffft!
I thought you new guys were CONSERVATIVE! Pffffffffffffffffffffffft!
Last month's elections, though, may signal the end of Republican dominance and fierce resistance to many conservation measures. Profound demographic and economic change seems FINALLY [whew!] to be asserting itself across the region. [Overemphasis added]
TRANSLATION: 1. Lots of rich folk with ATTITUDE are moving in from the east; 2. Maybe the westerners aren't so poor, uneducated and easily led.
TRANSLATION: 1. Lots of rich folk with ATTITUDE are moving in from the east; 2. Maybe the westerners aren't so poor, uneducated and easily led.
Friday, December 01, 2006
Can you imagine that? The man who KNIGHTED ST. EDWARD of MURROW and REMADE CASABLANCA got DRUNK with one of the THREE STOOGES?
Better than making an ass of yourself sober.
Better than making an ass of yourself sober.
Mayor Bloomberg said yesterday he'll honor the wishes of Sean Bell's relatives and not attend tonight's funeral for the 23-year-old groom who was killed last Saturday by police bullets.
Shucks, now Honorary Mayor Mike won't get to sing "We Shall Overcome" with Al Sharpton.
Shucks, now Honorary Mayor Mike won't get to sing "We Shall Overcome" with Al Sharpton.
THE WORLD'S LEADING FAMILY ENTERTAINMENT COMPANY creates a NEW FAMILY MOVIE for FAMILIES TO KILL BY.
WALT DISNEY JR.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WALT DISNEY JR.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hershey is producing a Reese's "Elvis" peanut-butter-and-banana-"creme" sandwich.
As a shareholder of Hershey Co. I'm discouraged; it means the company is trying to jack sales by resorting to fads. (The word "sagging" appears in the subhed.) Honest folks, we're already up to our ears in line extensions. Will people buy something just because it has a name on it?
As a shareholder of Hershey Co. I'm discouraged; it means the company is trying to jack sales by resorting to fads. (The word "sagging" appears in the subhed.) Honest folks, we're already up to our ears in line extensions. Will people buy something just because it has a name on it?
Elsewhere in the Bistro, a coalition of the righteous who would turn their faces beet-red and swell their heads to three times their normal size at the thought of evil CHRISTIANS, CONSERVATIVES and REPUBLICANS, and who would endeavor to get them out of every facet of our nation's life (praise gods), have filed a lawsuit DEMANDING THE FIRST AMENDMENT BE PROTECTED!!!!!
Listen guys, you urinate in public enough.
Listen guys, you urinate in public enough.
Kirk Kevorkian -- KERKORIAN has sold the last of His GM shares!
Now it will have to die on its own! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Now it will have to die on its own! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Elsewhere in the Bistro:
BSkyB's Murdoch accuses BBC of megalomania
I would try to answer that one but I have forsworn clichés.
BSkyB's Murdoch accuses BBC of megalomania
I would try to answer that one but I have forsworn clichés.
The EXECUTIVE EDITOR -- PRODUCER of COMEDY CENTRAL NEWS NETWORK has RESIGNED!!!!!
Why isn't this a BIG THING -- as big a thing as when HOWELL resigned? Aren't more people getting their NEWS from COMEDY CENTRAL NEWS NETWORK than from ANY OTHER SOURCE? Haven't they turned the NEWS BIZ UPSIDE-DOWN? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU HACKS?????
At least MediaBistro got it right.
Why isn't this a BIG THING -- as big a thing as when HOWELL resigned? Aren't more people getting their NEWS from COMEDY CENTRAL NEWS NETWORK than from ANY OTHER SOURCE? Haven't they turned the NEWS BIZ UPSIDE-DOWN? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU HACKS?????
At least MediaBistro got it right.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
We do not know why anyone would have even a passing interest in these bores. One time we would have gleaned all we could about the famous, and even tried to finagle our career so we could be their friend, and swell our ego in the glow of theirs; but aside from being the products of vast indestructible publicity machines and having little discernible talent except for making asses of themselves, these clowns converse in single-syllable words, half of which the news hacks call "unprintable", and but that the publicity machines get stronger every day we would be happy to pay them no mind, except they get so much in-our-face time.
We go one step further: They almost disprove THE MASTER's line about the chambermaid and the duchess because just by comparison these dopes make a chambermaid into a duchess.
We go one step further: They almost disprove THE MASTER's line about the chambermaid and the duchess because just by comparison these dopes make a chambermaid into a duchess.
Mr. Schmidt said that by by [Would-this-have-gotten-by-by-in-The-Paper-of-Re-CORD? SIC] Google’s calculation, a new blog is being created every second of every day. He said that Google now estimates that the average blog is read by one person.
One person.
Hello? Is anyone out there? Mom?
I KNOW THE FEELING.
And of course we must thank Mr. Schmidt, along with Mr. Larry and Mr. Sergey, for hammering together the Salvation-Army-reject-server farms that limit most of us to one reader.
Is anyone out there?
(Via the usual Romy. Did you have to remind me?)
One person.
Hello? Is anyone out there? Mom?
I KNOW THE FEELING.
And of course we must thank Mr. Schmidt, along with Mr. Larry and Mr. Sergey, for hammering together the Salvation-Army-reject-server farms that limit most of us to one reader.
Is anyone out there?
(Via the usual Romy. Did you have to remind me?)
Paper of Re-CORD.com "blogs":
The one thing that remains unclear, though, is this: The Associated Press said in its story yesterday that Mr. Hussein “has been a regular source of police information for two years and had been visited by the AP reporter in his office at the police station on several occasions.” The military, meanwhile, seems to suggest that Mr. Hussein is not a police officer, nor a civil servant in the employ of any Iraqi agency.
So who IS Mr. Hussein?
You're the PAPER of RE-CORD! Isn't it your duty to FIND OUT?
The one thing that remains unclear, though, is this: The Associated Press said in its story yesterday that Mr. Hussein “has been a regular source of police information for two years and had been visited by the AP reporter in his office at the police station on several occasions.” The military, meanwhile, seems to suggest that Mr. Hussein is not a police officer, nor a civil servant in the employ of any Iraqi agency.
So who IS Mr. Hussein?
You're the PAPER of RE-CORD! Isn't it your duty to FIND OUT?
Google has shut down its question-and-answer features, Google Answers, four years after the product launched.
GASP! The Gods of Mountain View AREN'T PERFECT!
GASP! The Gods of Mountain View AREN'T PERFECT!
MANKIEWICZ ALERT: THE ULTIMATE INSIDER NIKKI shares the angst of the highest-IQ writers in HISTORY who may no longer be able to peddle their masterworks because THE CONSPIRACY is cutting back -- immortal names that may (or may not) include
Eric Roth (Forrest Gump, The Horse Whisperer, Ali, Munich), John August (Charlie’s Angels, Big Fish, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory), Paul Haggis (Crash, Million Dollar Baby, Casino Royale), David Self (Thirteen Days, Road to Perdition), Bill Broyles (Cast Away, Planet of the Apes, Jarhead, Flags of Our Fathers), Jeff Nathanson (Catch Me if You Can, The Terminal, Rush Hour 2 & 3), David Benioff (Troy), Charlie Kaufman (Being John Malkovich, Adaptation, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind), Bill Monahan (The Departed), Steve Zaillian (A Civil Action, Hannibal, Gangs of New York, All the King’s Men), and the “two Tees” from Pirates of the Caribbean 1, 2 & 3, Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio.
Not to mention Akiva Goldsman, who hunt-and-pecked DVC!!!!! and is "hunting-and-pecking" its prequel, "the same scribe whose script for Batman & Robin is considered one of the worst of the comic-books-turned-movies genre" (now THAT'S a COMPLIMENT).
What a load of -- see the URL. Now what could they do if they knew how to WRITE?
(Via MediaBistro)
"[A] commotion of grunts and squeaks, flashing unconnected images and explosions of a million little particles...."
No, when it comes to sex, ALL novelists are beyond help.
No, when it comes to sex, ALL novelists are beyond help.
In other Paper of Re-CORD "news", BizWeek says PINCH may take the rag private!
Now He wouldn't have to share His empire with ANYBODY! LONG LIVE PINCH!
Now He wouldn't have to share His empire with ANYBODY! LONG LIVE PINCH!
Greenberg "IS ACTIVELY ENGAGED IN TRYING TO BUY THE ENTIRE NEW YORK TIMES CO.!!!!!!!!!!," Charles Gasparino reported on CNBC. [BOOM-BOOM CRAMER TABLE-POUNDING OVEREMPHASIS added]
Figures -- sometimes with the Big C you're the LAST to know.
(Via Romy)
Figures -- sometimes with the Big C you're the LAST to know.
(Via Romy)
OooooOOOOOoooooh, Mr. My Business is My Business says Sen. Lenny is being -- uncivil! In bad prose!
Look Biz, we'll concede Jimmy's an ass, but when a man who is to punditing what FIXER is to lobbying starts talking about "civility", he flaunts his cynicism.
Look Biz, we'll concede Jimmy's an ass, but when a man who is to punditing what FIXER is to lobbying starts talking about "civility", he flaunts his cynicism.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Nukeman writes a letter:
Ahmadinejad also issued a warning to Democrats taking over both the House and Senate that they would be "held to account" by history for its decisions.
"If the U.S. government meets the current domestic and external challenges with an approach based on truth and justice, it can remedy some of the past afflictions and alleviate some of the global resentment and hatred of America," he wrote.
The Congressional Progressive Caucus says AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEN!
Ahmadinejad also issued a warning to Democrats taking over both the House and Senate that they would be "held to account" by history for its decisions.
"If the U.S. government meets the current domestic and external challenges with an approach based on truth and justice, it can remedy some of the past afflictions and alleviate some of the global resentment and hatred of America," he wrote.
The Congressional Progressive Caucus says AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEN!
Radiation found on 2 jets in spy probe
Pretty soon they'll find it everywhere!
Nice job, Belly Kisser!
Pretty soon they'll find it everywhere!
Nice job, Belly Kisser!
In a way we are sorry the Senator from Tennessee will not run for president; he is a very decent man. But we may wonder if he is too decent for the White House.
Not to be too picky but I've a hunch the reason city councilPOOPS can veto Wal-Marts is they make a lot more money than the peons -- their CONSITITUENTS.
(Via USAOKAY!!!!!.com)
(Via USAOKAY!!!!!.com)
An expert adviser to the Baker-Hamilton commission expects the 10-person panel to recommend that the Bush administration pressure Israel to make concessions in a gambit to entice Syria and Iran to a regional conference on Iraq.
That's easy enough to understand, from FIXER's view: he never liked Israel, and it has no oil.
That's easy enough to understand, from FIXER's view: he never liked Israel, and it has no oil.
The executive producer of Katie's show says GE BANCORP NETWORK NEWS made a POLITICAL STATEMENT?!?!?
WwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwELL!!!!!
Here's predicting it has zero impact on little Brian's show, as his viewers are too busy searching for the latest news on incontinence aids.
(Via the usual Romy)
WwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwELL!!!!!
Here's predicting it has zero impact on little Brian's show, as his viewers are too busy searching for the latest news on incontinence aids.
(Via the usual Romy)
Why I luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhve Wall Street:
A group led by Penn National Gaming and hedge fund D.E. Shaw is considering making a cash and stock offer for casino company Harrah's, a source familiar with the situation said on Tuesday....
Penn National, which owns and operates horse-racing parks and casinos, has a market capitalization of $3.3 billion. That is a fraction of the $14.2 billion market capitalization of Harrah's, which owns or manages more than 40 casinos under the Harrah's, Caesars and Horseshoe brand names.
If you want to go broke making people go broke, I'm all for it!
A group led by Penn National Gaming and hedge fund D.E. Shaw is considering making a cash and stock offer for casino company Harrah's, a source familiar with the situation said on Tuesday....
Penn National, which owns and operates horse-racing parks and casinos, has a market capitalization of $3.3 billion. That is a fraction of the $14.2 billion market capitalization of Harrah's, which owns or manages more than 40 casinos under the Harrah's, Caesars and Horseshoe brand names.
If you want to go broke making people go broke, I'm all for it!
The bad news: Bud is going to spendspendspend on cable TV.
The good news: It's cutting back on network prime-time.
Is a faint glint of common sense FINALLY invading the Reverse Robin Hoods of MadAve?
Probably not; someone else can always make up the difference.
The good news: It's cutting back on network prime-time.
Is a faint glint of common sense FINALLY invading the Reverse Robin Hoods of MadAve?
Probably not; someone else can always make up the difference.
And in further news of the imam incident which no one but conservatives will talk about because M-----ms are officially protected from negative commentary in the nation's luxury news suites:
The imams, they said, tested the forbearance of the passengers and flight crew in what the air marshal called a "[political correctness] probe."
"The political correctness needs to be left at the boarding gate," the marshal said. "Instilling politically correct fears into the minds of airline passengers is nothing less than psychological terrorism."
Given this IS The Washington Times, can't we say that was the point?
The imams, they said, tested the forbearance of the passengers and flight crew in what the air marshal called a "[political correctness] probe."
"The political correctness needs to be left at the boarding gate," the marshal said. "Instilling politically correct fears into the minds of airline passengers is nothing less than psychological terrorism."
Given this IS The Washington Times, can't we say that was the point?
LENNY must be having fits: here he elected a Senator to do his bidding, and he may not do it!
TRANSLATION: The guy's a total ass.
Meantime LENNY and his managing editor are instituting "a third-grade type of evaluation system" on the staff. Hey! Consider that a promotion in a nursery school.
TRANSLATION: The guy's a total ass.
Meantime LENNY and his managing editor are instituting "a third-grade type of evaluation system" on the staff. Hey! Consider that a promotion in a nursery school.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
For what it's worth, the League of Nations has given an extension of our force in Iraq for one more year.
One for year for news hacks to grin, CIVIL WAR!!!!!
One for year for news hacks to grin, CIVIL WAR!!!!!
The CIA flew 1,245 secret flights into European airspace, according to a European Parliament draft report obtained by ABC News.
So why did you PAY THE $1 MILLION KILL FEE?
So why did you PAY THE $1 MILLION KILL FEE?
THE WORLD'S LEADING FAMILY ENTERTAINMENT COMPANY paid SLIME a $1 MILLION KILL FEE.
Earlier this month, after Regan had announced the book and a two-part interview slated for Murdoch’s Fox broadcast network, Walters mentioned on her show “The View” that she’d spurned an opportunity to interview Simpson. That angered News Corp. officials be cause Walters appeared to be incensed over the legitimacy of a project that she had previously considered doing herself. According to a report in New York Observer, News Corp. threatened to send her a “cease and desist” letter after her comments on the scandal.
Is there any difference between one sleazeball media outfit and another? Do these people have ANY allegiance to the human race?
Earlier this month, after Regan had announced the book and a two-part interview slated for Murdoch’s Fox broadcast network, Walters mentioned on her show “The View” that she’d spurned an opportunity to interview Simpson. That angered News Corp. officials be cause Walters appeared to be incensed over the legitimacy of a project that she had previously considered doing herself. According to a report in New York Observer, News Corp. threatened to send her a “cease and desist” letter after her comments on the scandal.
Is there any difference between one sleazeball media outfit and another? Do these people have ANY allegiance to the human race?
The noble truth teller and SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGER Michelle is ANGRY at Michael Kinsley for his "SUPERFICIAL SNARK":
WITH AN EXPLOSION OF DYNAMIC INVESTIGATIVE WORK, OPINION WRITING, AND NEWS-BASED SOCIAL NETWORKING GOING ON ACROSS THE WEB--FROM TPMMUCKRAKER ON THE LEFT, TO THE MILBLOGS, TO THE WAR ON TERROR AND CONSERVATIVE BLOGS POLICING THE MAKE-IT-UP MEDIA, TO POWER LINE'S NEW FORUM, TO PAJAMAS MEDIA--WHY IS IT THAT KINSLEY CAN'T FIND ANYTHING BETTER TO WRITE ABOUT THAN SOME RANDOM MYSPACE PAGE AND TWITTER.COM????????????????????? [Righteous overemphasis added]
Because, Michelle, for every brave and noble investigative reporter disclosing the dubious use of SUPERSCRIPTS and PHOTOSHOP, MILLIONS are boasting of their private lives and sex lives and criminal lives, and making asses of themselves in the process, and confirming their uselessness. Sorry, we're not all brave men like CHARLES JOHNSON.
You had a chance to sue GAWKER for LIBEL. You WIMPED OUT. Shut up, Michelle, and make more millions.
WITH AN EXPLOSION OF DYNAMIC INVESTIGATIVE WORK, OPINION WRITING, AND NEWS-BASED SOCIAL NETWORKING GOING ON ACROSS THE WEB--FROM TPMMUCKRAKER ON THE LEFT, TO THE MILBLOGS, TO THE WAR ON TERROR AND CONSERVATIVE BLOGS POLICING THE MAKE-IT-UP MEDIA, TO POWER LINE'S NEW FORUM, TO PAJAMAS MEDIA--WHY IS IT THAT KINSLEY CAN'T FIND ANYTHING BETTER TO WRITE ABOUT THAN SOME RANDOM MYSPACE PAGE AND TWITTER.COM????????????????????? [Righteous overemphasis added]
Because, Michelle, for every brave and noble investigative reporter disclosing the dubious use of SUPERSCRIPTS and PHOTOSHOP, MILLIONS are boasting of their private lives and sex lives and criminal lives, and making asses of themselves in the process, and confirming their uselessness. Sorry, we're not all brave men like CHARLES JOHNSON.
You had a chance to sue GAWKER for LIBEL. You WIMPED OUT. Shut up, Michelle, and make more millions.
MS. TRAVERS is "reporting" that Alcee won't be the Intelligence Committee boss after all.
I hate getting my news from ad-blurbists.
P. S. Looks like THE WOMAN ABOVE THE TITLE got beaten to it. (Via the Plank)
I hate getting my news from ad-blurbists.
P. S. Looks like THE WOMAN ABOVE THE TITLE got beaten to it. (Via the Plank)
Hmmm:
At the end of every "Two and a Half Men," the "Chuck Lorre Production" company includes a frame of text with some message from the producer. Last night, through the power of TiVO, one of us decided to pause and read it. In a word, um, wow.
Here's the full message:
At the end of every "Two and a Half Men," the "Chuck Lorre Production" company includes a frame of text with some message from the producer. Last night, through the power of TiVO, one of us decided to pause and read it. In a word, um, wow.
Here's the full message:
"I'm relieved that he's reached across the aisle to fight global warming. I'm delighted that he's worked to increase the minimum wage, reduce the cost of pharmaceutical drugs, improve the infrastructure, and bring accountability to the school system. My problem, and let me state for the record that it's my problem, not his, is simply this: Whenever I hear the governor of California speak I find myself nervously looking around for a train that will take me to Poland."
And the clock just keeps ticking. With nominations for the Hollywood Foreign Press Assn.'s 64th annual Golden Globe Awards just weeks away -- announcements are set for the early morning hours of Dec. 14 -- a clear front-runner has yet to emerge for one of the ceremony's top two prizes, namely the best drama of the year.
Haven't we heard this all before? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Haven't we heard this all before? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
After nearly 40 years coaching college basketball, Bob Knight still stands on his principles.
And what would those principles be? How about:
1. Winning at any cost;
2. Screaming at any cost;
3. Throwing chairs at any cost;
4. Bullying Walter Mitty CEOs and students at any cost.
All these words to promote a cable channel few have ever heard of?
That incident involving the six imams in Minneapolis may have been staged -- unfortunately, the people making this claim are mainly green-footballian CONSERVATIVES, meaning we can totally ignore them.
A TV cri-TIC who could not tear himself from his TiVo to capture all the hothotHOT megadrama in this PLATINUM AGE OF TELEVISION mourns the death of the sitcom.
I don't know, guy -- you think maybe we helped kill the sitcom by calling serial drama God's gift to man?
I don't know, guy -- you think maybe we helped kill the sitcom by calling serial drama God's gift to man?
Activists urge boycott of the 'N-word'
Which can mean only three things: 1. [C]RAPPERS can still use it; 2. The "activists" will redouble their efforts to ban Huck Finn; 3. A month from now the hacks will still attempt to banish "Kramer."
Which can mean only three things: 1. [C]RAPPERS can still use it; 2. The "activists" will redouble their efforts to ban Huck Finn; 3. A month from now the hacks will still attempt to banish "Kramer."
Calling Iraq a "civil war" puts us in a quandary. Certainly it can in the minimal sense meet the definition. But we know, however, when news hacks refer to a civil war in Iraq, the corners of the mouths engage in a faint but perceptible upturn.
Monday, November 27, 2006
Meantime Ron Burkle proposes to be the savior of the news business, although obviously he isn't looking at the lunkhead who owns StinkyInky Publishing Co., who hasn't exactly been walking on water lately.
Ken Felatta needs 6,607 WORDS in THE NEW YORKER (yes, THE NEW YORKER) to tell us Lou "The Zillionaire Friend of the Oppressed" Dobbs is an ass, but of course being the zillionaire friend of SUMNER he doesn't say that -- you never know when those luncheons at The Four Seasons may come in handy.
(Via the usual Romy)
(Via the usual Romy)
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Sales were up six percent on Black Friday -- and fewer people shopped.
Yes, I think there should be a moratorium on such stories.
Yes, I think there should be a moratorium on such stories.
BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP: How apt that [C]RAP is hearkening back to its minstrel roots. After all, what do [C]RAP and minstrelsy have in common but to teach people how to disrespect blacks -- and blacks how to disrespect themselves?
I cannot help thinking this: how would the late lamented Mike Royko have written about this? Certainly not as another pre-fab TRIB "pop music cri-TIC" would.
(Via ArtsJournal)
I cannot help thinking this: how would the late lamented Mike Royko have written about this? Certainly not as another pre-fab TRIB "pop music cri-TIC" would.
(Via ArtsJournal)
Does it really matter where the money for the "insurgency" is coming from? And these reporters all but concede this report is "speculation."
We wonder too why Mr. Burns, by many accounts a capable and conscientious reporter, consented to the "David and Goliath" line. It occurs to us David was supposed to be a hero. Is someone suggesting these mass murderers are heroes? Oh well, that's The Paper of Re-CORD, where up is down and right is -- WRONG.
We wonder too why Mr. Burns, by many accounts a capable and conscientious reporter, consented to the "David and Goliath" line. It occurs to us David was supposed to be a hero. Is someone suggesting these mass murderers are heroes? Oh well, that's The Paper of Re-CORD, where up is down and right is -- WRONG.
IF THEY COULD: Chain stores would use IQ tests on prospective hires -- to weed out the most intelligent.
They all but do it now.
They all but do it now.
When getting upset at the lemmings who attend the movies, we should remember this: the whole national movie biz makes no more money in one day than one Wal-Mart in ONE YEAR. (And these are old numbers.)
On the other hand, the b.o. numbers point to a medium's control by the tiniest minority. People with no taste can thus effectively hold our culture hostage.
On the other hand, the b.o. numbers point to a medium's control by the tiniest minority. People with no taste can thus effectively hold our culture hostage.
More news hack excellence: Boston's second-string rag wastes our time with an "urban legend" about penguins, and every time we thus waste our time we get angrier faster for having wasted it.
We don't know what Mr. My Business is My Business had in mind with this column. That America's changed? We need a zillionaire typist to tell us that? That Business can't admit that in the fundamentals we may be worse calls attention to this scribble's uselessness.
P. S. He was reviewing a book -- the same book that caused Little Malcolm's Rich to go haywire too. He frets that "populism" and "nostalgia" may slow the super-duper Friedmanian wealth-creation machine down. Please! Don't we have enough billionaire CEOs? What is with these pundits that they can't write straight?
P. S. He was reviewing a book -- the same book that caused Little Malcolm's Rich to go haywire too. He frets that "populism" and "nostalgia" may slow the super-duper Friedmanian wealth-creation machine down. Please! Don't we have enough billionaire CEOs? What is with these pundits that they can't write straight?
Elsewhere in THE WORLD'S LEADI -- in that RAG, we spot a trend long after the trend has started; this time it's downtown-destroying "downtown" suburban malls. With any justice in twenty or thirty years' their landlords will neglect them and they'll rot too.
Guess I'm back to two hits a day. AAAAAAAAAAAAAANYBODY OUT THERE?????
The hacks are starting to assert that totalitarian streak toward "Kramer." Will people like CURLEY (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) PLEASE tell me why it's okay for eight-year-olds to have sex but we must BANISH "Kramer" from America? And have these idiots ever read "The Man Without a Country"?
And this week JonBoy is agreed everywhere that Moqtada al-Sadr is THE MOST DANGEROUS MAN IN IRAQ -- and that Jay-Z is THE NATION'S COOLEST MILLIONAIRE MOGUL!
Any wonder why we can't believe your rags, Jonny? When do you start playing with YOUR circ?
Any wonder why we can't believe your rags, Jonny? When do you start playing with YOUR circ?
Meantime the TWXSTERS indulge us in a story that's CW in a different way. Yes, forgoing the airplane for a car may statistically make no sense, but few auto accidents are as photogenic as 9/11 was, and if there's one thing we always do is let television do our thinking. Indeed we live in an age of fear in no small part because of media fear peddlers, and their influence is insuperable. How many crises have the TWXSTERS peddled on their pages? Remember GLOBAL WARMING?
Meantime the INTERNATIONAL editions deal with that peculiar murder? suicide? of the Russian spy and Belly Kisser's other democratic acts, which might be slightly more newsworthy.
Meantime the INTERNATIONAL editions deal with that peculiar murder? suicide? of the Russian spy and Belly Kisser's other democratic acts, which might be slightly more newsworthy.
10 is the new 15 as kids grow up faster
I'd say this is just another attempt by media types to apologize for the mess they've helped make of our society -- and that such fake apologies are no dice anymore, when it's obvious they refuse to relinquish any control over us. There is one word for such hand-wringing: hypocrisy.
And USAOKAY!!!!! compounds the offense with ASSPress's sidebar and these brilliant suggestions to the kids' birth givers: "SET LIMITS", "THINK 'TEACHABLE MOMENT'", "PICK YOUR BATTLES", "CREATE A CIRCLE OF LIKE-MINDED PARENTS", and "STAY CLOSE" [SIC!!!!!]. This is, as may be expected, as useful as a sidebar as a party convention's platform is as an instrument of truth. Wouldn't a white flag have filled the space better?
Definitely:
"As parents, we can't control what's out there," says Dr. Liz Alderman, a parent and adolescent medicine specialist at Montefiore Medical Center in New York City. "But you can say, 'You can't go to an R-rated movie."'
A white flag? CALL IN THE HOLY COCKROACHES!
P. S. I thought it sounded familiar: ASSPress first ran this on Thursday. This is freeze-dried "news" that can run anytime -- making its true motivation even more suspect.
I'd say this is just another attempt by media types to apologize for the mess they've helped make of our society -- and that such fake apologies are no dice anymore, when it's obvious they refuse to relinquish any control over us. There is one word for such hand-wringing: hypocrisy.
And USAOKAY!!!!! compounds the offense with ASSPress's sidebar and these brilliant suggestions to the kids' birth givers: "SET LIMITS", "THINK 'TEACHABLE MOMENT'", "PICK YOUR BATTLES", "CREATE A CIRCLE OF LIKE-MINDED PARENTS", and "STAY CLOSE" [SIC!!!!!]. This is, as may be expected, as useful as a sidebar as a party convention's platform is as an instrument of truth. Wouldn't a white flag have filled the space better?
Definitely:
"As parents, we can't control what's out there," says Dr. Liz Alderman, a parent and adolescent medicine specialist at Montefiore Medical Center in New York City. "But you can say, 'You can't go to an R-rated movie."'
A white flag? CALL IN THE HOLY COCKROACHES!
P. S. I thought it sounded familiar: ASSPress first ran this on Thursday. This is freeze-dried "news" that can run anytime -- making its true motivation even more suspect.