THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
Blogroll Me!
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Saturday, January 07, 2006
The EFFETE SNOBS at SARDI'S throw a turned-up nose into things by voting that obscure bio of TRUMAN BEST PICTURE.
Imagine it wins the coveted ACADEMY AWARD®. We hope it does: this would be the LEAST VIEWED BEST-PICTURE OSCAR® WINNER EVER. The people at the ACADEMY® must be worried that it presages a total abandonment of their show by the viewers. Let's hope so!
The EDWARD R. MURROW OF COMEDY'S going to have install another hundred writers at the BEVERLY HILTON.
P. S. Truman's take thus far is $12,249,226. If divided by an average ticket price of $6.40 that means fewer than TWO MILLION have seen it -- and that number may be much smaller as it's played on the coasts, where ticket prices are much higher, and on the outh -- ARTHOUSE circuit. To put that in perspective, it may be lower than the combined season home attendance of the FIVE LOWEST NFL TEAMS. Please, pretty please, let Truman win!
Imagine it wins the coveted ACADEMY AWARD®. We hope it does: this would be the LEAST VIEWED BEST-PICTURE OSCAR® WINNER EVER. The people at the ACADEMY® must be worried that it presages a total abandonment of their show by the viewers. Let's hope so!
The EDWARD R. MURROW OF COMEDY'S going to have install another hundred writers at the BEVERLY HILTON.
P. S. Truman's take thus far is $12,249,226. If divided by an average ticket price of $6.40 that means fewer than TWO MILLION have seen it -- and that number may be much smaller as it's played on the coasts, where ticket prices are much higher, and on the outh -- ARTHOUSE circuit. To put that in perspective, it may be lower than the combined season home attendance of the FIVE LOWEST NFL TEAMS. Please, pretty please, let Truman win!
Three guesses who makes the covers of BOTH newsrags tomorrow (not counting Useless News, which does college rankings).
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They're GLOATING already! And the thing is SNIDELY WHIPLASH is a thoroughly corrupt and destestable politician, but they're not gloating for that -- they're gloating because his corruption KEEPS THEM LORDING IT OVER US.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They're GLOATING already! And the thing is SNIDELY WHIPLASH is a thoroughly corrupt and destestable politician, but they're not gloating for that -- they're gloating because his corruption KEEPS THEM LORDING IT OVER US.
Number 4 in PAPEROFRECORD.COM's MOST E-MAILED:
Recipe: Crusty Macaroni and Cheese
3 tablespoons butter
12 ounces extra-sharp cheddar cheese, coarsely grated
12 ounces American cheese or cheddar cheese, coarsely grated
1 pound elbow pasta, boiled in salted water until just tender, drained, and rinsed under cold water
1/8 teaspoon cayenne (optional)
Salt
2/3 cup whole milk.
1. Heat oven to 375 degrees. Use one tablespoon butter to thickly grease a 9-by-13-inch baking dish. Combine grated cheeses and set aside two heaping cups for topping.
2. In a large bowl, toss together the pasta, cheeses, cayenne (if using) and salt to taste. Place in prepared pan and evenly pour milk over surface. Sprinkle reserved cheese on top, dot with remaining butter and bake, uncovered, 45 minutes. Raise heat to 400 degrees and bake 15 to 20 minutes more, until crusty on top and bottom.
Yield: 8 to 12 servings.
We hope PINCH will forgive us for copying this in full, but we may want to try it ourselves. It sounds very good. Who knows? If he runs enough recipes we may have to call ourselves The One-Minute Cooking Pundit.
Recipe: Crusty Macaroni and Cheese
3 tablespoons butter
12 ounces extra-sharp cheddar cheese, coarsely grated
12 ounces American cheese or cheddar cheese, coarsely grated
1 pound elbow pasta, boiled in salted water until just tender, drained, and rinsed under cold water
1/8 teaspoon cayenne (optional)
Salt
2/3 cup whole milk.
1. Heat oven to 375 degrees. Use one tablespoon butter to thickly grease a 9-by-13-inch baking dish. Combine grated cheeses and set aside two heaping cups for topping.
2. In a large bowl, toss together the pasta, cheeses, cayenne (if using) and salt to taste. Place in prepared pan and evenly pour milk over surface. Sprinkle reserved cheese on top, dot with remaining butter and bake, uncovered, 45 minutes. Raise heat to 400 degrees and bake 15 to 20 minutes more, until crusty on top and bottom.
Yield: 8 to 12 servings.
We hope PINCH will forgive us for copying this in full, but we may want to try it ourselves. It sounds very good. Who knows? If he runs enough recipes we may have to call ourselves The One-Minute Cooking Pundit.
Hip-hop singer Ms. Dynamite has been charged with punching an officer in the face after police arrested her for allegedly kicking the door of a west London nightclub, police said Saturday.
Another -- er, HIP-HOPPER makes a BRILLIANT career move.
Another -- er, HIP-HOPPER makes a BRILLIANT career move.
When does the anachronism Toys 'R' Us go broke?
"The company last month reported a wider than expected third-quarter net loss of $126 million." Not such a hot investment, guys.
"The company last month reported a wider than expected third-quarter net loss of $126 million." Not such a hot investment, guys.
Dick Armey returns from the dead: It seems the GOP had this "K Street project", so the money would always flow its way, and it proved so successful everyone's talking indictments; and even that custodian of the free en-ter-prise flame, whom we are told had "clashes" with Snidely, thought it and Snidely went too far:
"Tom DeLay sent Buckham downtown to set up shop and start a branch office on K Street," Mr. Armey said. "The whole idea was, 'What's in it for us?' That's what I thought at the time and I've seen nothing in the way they've conducted themselves since then to dissuade me from that point of view."
"What's in it for us?" That's precisely the mentality of the Republican majority.
"Tom DeLay sent Buckham downtown to set up shop and start a branch office on K Street," Mr. Armey said. "The whole idea was, 'What's in it for us?' That's what I thought at the time and I've seen nothing in the way they've conducted themselves since then to dissuade me from that point of view."
"What's in it for us?" That's precisely the mentality of the Republican majority.
Three oddly complementary stories appeared today: the snobby Wall Street Journals ran an article that ticket prices for big sporting events and pop concerts have become unaffordable, confiscatory even, thanks to what con-SER-va-tives would glibly call the marketplace (i.e., scalpers on the Web). Its partner in press releases Barron's ran a typically huff-'n'-puff piece about the CES convention, whose unspoken premise is that the electronics biz is about to inflict us with gadget overload to end all gadget overloads. And the PAPER OF RE-CORD ran this story about how some people are getting mad because the cable conspiracy and cell phone providers are piling on all sorts of glop many don't use primarily to keep their shareholders happy.
It's odd that the purview of the no-talent and the nostalgia act should command such an outlandish premium, but we'll chalk that up to boomer geezers and the fans' historic lack of taste. But the problem with the rest of show-biz these days is there's more to see and less worth seeing. Indeed so little is worth seeing why not just price it all at zero since so much will have precisely that audience? This is a perfect analog of blogging, where millions of monomaniacs congeal into a high-decibel silence. No, the idea that content should be free does not seem so hallucinatory as it used to. How long the techies and the content mafia can keep us paying for it is another matter.
It's odd that the purview of the no-talent and the nostalgia act should command such an outlandish premium, but we'll chalk that up to boomer geezers and the fans' historic lack of taste. But the problem with the rest of show-biz these days is there's more to see and less worth seeing. Indeed so little is worth seeing why not just price it all at zero since so much will have precisely that audience? This is a perfect analog of blogging, where millions of monomaniacs congeal into a high-decibel silence. No, the idea that content should be free does not seem so hallucinatory as it used to. How long the techies and the content mafia can keep us paying for it is another matter.
Mr. Moveon.org wants to buy DreamWorks KGB's library.
If you sell the film library, SUMNER, what did you pay $1.6 billion for? Answer us THAT, Riddler.
If you sell the film library, SUMNER, what did you pay $1.6 billion for? Answer us THAT, Riddler.
Bill Buckleyson long ago learned the principle of the Beltway, one SNIDELY WHIPLASH no doubt learned as he first walked into the INSANE ASYLUM of CAPITOL HILL: You roll my log and I'll roll yours.
Is this guy any funny, or is his sole purpose to kiss rear ends?
P. S. 158 on Amazon.com, and slowly slipping.
Is this guy any funny, or is his sole purpose to kiss rear ends?
P. S. 158 on Amazon.com, and slowly slipping.
VERY ELEGANTLY DONE:
THE DELAY STATEMENT [John Podhoretz]
Very elegantly done. And if anybody thinks the statement means DeLay is through permanently, that person doesn't understand politics. If DeLay comes through the lousy Ronnie Earle business in Texas clean, which he probably will, and if he isn't excessively bloodied by the Abramoff scandal, which we can't know yet, he will be in a position in a few years to replace Hastert as Speaker of the House (should Republicans remain in charge). We've just spent the past several days reflecting on the political career of Ariel Sharon. Sharon staged a comeback from the total disgrace in which he fell in the mid-1980s. DeLay has wisely decided to retreat for now to fight again another day. (Unless, of course, he knows there's a big shoe to drop against him and he's just trying to clear the decks.)
Posted at 01:07 PM
We now know it's possible to walk with two left feet. Possible, but not safe.
P. S. Rich Lowry walks with two left feet and fourteen toes on each -- and uses them all:
He was a fantastic majority leader, arguably--as Rich Galen said yesterday I believe--the best ever.
1. Does somebody keep records of these things? 2. Are we measuring by pork or graft?
THE DELAY STATEMENT [John Podhoretz]
Very elegantly done. And if anybody thinks the statement means DeLay is through permanently, that person doesn't understand politics. If DeLay comes through the lousy Ronnie Earle business in Texas clean, which he probably will, and if he isn't excessively bloodied by the Abramoff scandal, which we can't know yet, he will be in a position in a few years to replace Hastert as Speaker of the House (should Republicans remain in charge). We've just spent the past several days reflecting on the political career of Ariel Sharon. Sharon staged a comeback from the total disgrace in which he fell in the mid-1980s. DeLay has wisely decided to retreat for now to fight again another day. (Unless, of course, he knows there's a big shoe to drop against him and he's just trying to clear the decks.)
Posted at 01:07 PM
We now know it's possible to walk with two left feet. Possible, but not safe.
P. S. Rich Lowry walks with two left feet and fourteen toes on each -- and uses them all:
He was a fantastic majority leader, arguably--as Rich Galen said yesterday I believe--the best ever.
1. Does somebody keep records of these things? 2. Are we measuring by pork or graft?
Officials: DeLay to Quit Leadership Post
Shucks, being a friend of lobbyists isn't what it used to be.
FREEPERS are jumping off a cliff. LOOK OUT BELOW!
PREDICTION: SNIDELY leaves the roost either this term or next to work as a SUPERLOBBYIST, which is where his heart was all along -- assuming he isn't convicted of something.
Shucks, being a friend of lobbyists isn't what it used to be.
FREEPERS are jumping off a cliff. LOOK OUT BELOW!
PREDICTION: SNIDELY leaves the roost either this term or next to work as a SUPERLOBBYIST, which is where his heart was all along -- assuming he isn't convicted of something.
Our eBay Customer of the Year:
AN OBSESSED Elvis Presley fan who stole nearly £600,000 of council car parking payments to buy one of the largest collections of the singer’s memorabilia will have her hoard confiscated and auctioned.
For nine years Julie Wall, a town hall cashier, amassed rare records, CDs and DVDs of the singer after stealing four tonnes of coins from cash boxes.
The 46-year-old spinster stole £597,963 from her employer, North Kesteven District Council, and then trawled auctions, record fairs and eBay to find scarce examples of Elvis’s music and signed mementoes.
Wall, who became infatuated with the singer when she was 12, was jailed for three years for theft in October last year.
Hey, but she set up THE SALE OF THE CENTURY!
P. S. And of COURSE CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES are on TOP of the story:
LONDON - A court ruled Friday that hundreds of rare Elvis Presley records and pieces of memorabilia collected by a woman who stole almost $1 billion from her employer must be auctioned to repay her debt.
With that kind of money she could have invested in eBay.
AN OBSESSED Elvis Presley fan who stole nearly £600,000 of council car parking payments to buy one of the largest collections of the singer’s memorabilia will have her hoard confiscated and auctioned.
For nine years Julie Wall, a town hall cashier, amassed rare records, CDs and DVDs of the singer after stealing four tonnes of coins from cash boxes.
The 46-year-old spinster stole £597,963 from her employer, North Kesteven District Council, and then trawled auctions, record fairs and eBay to find scarce examples of Elvis’s music and signed mementoes.
Wall, who became infatuated with the singer when she was 12, was jailed for three years for theft in October last year.
Hey, but she set up THE SALE OF THE CENTURY!
P. S. And of COURSE CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES are on TOP of the story:
LONDON - A court ruled Friday that hundreds of rare Elvis Presley records and pieces of memorabilia collected by a woman who stole almost $1 billion from her employer must be auctioned to repay her debt.
With that kind of money she could have invested in eBay.
Another Democratic hero -- busted:
"To those who defend the modern-day holocaust of animals by saying that animals are slaughtered for food, and give us sustenance, I remind them, the Nazis used slave labor and made 'useful products' of their victims," he wrote in the Los Angeles Times on April 16, 2003.
"There is only one little step from killing animals to creating gas chambers a la Hitler and concentration camps a la Stalin," he wrote.
BUT:
But blogs such as National Review Online and Powerlineblog.com highlighted the animal-rights column yesterday....
No! NOOOO!!! They'll NEVER STOP BOASTING!
"To those who defend the modern-day holocaust of animals by saying that animals are slaughtered for food, and give us sustenance, I remind them, the Nazis used slave labor and made 'useful products' of their victims," he wrote in the Los Angeles Times on April 16, 2003.
"There is only one little step from killing animals to creating gas chambers a la Hitler and concentration camps a la Stalin," he wrote.
BUT:
But blogs such as National Review Online and Powerlineblog.com highlighted the animal-rights column yesterday....
No! NOOOO!!! They'll NEVER STOP BOASTING!
HENRY BLODGET HAS AN ADMIRER!
We've said G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE would quadruple in value, as Wall Street has nothing better to do. But the first earnings missed stops that merry-go-round. And look at Bill's Bugdom, which has hardly banged down any barn doors these last six years. That's the CIA of MOUNTAIN VIEW's future.
We've said G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE would quadruple in value, as Wall Street has nothing better to do. But the first earnings missed stops that merry-go-round. And look at Bill's Bugdom, which has hardly banged down any barn doors these last six years. That's the CIA of MOUNTAIN VIEW's future.
While it might be music to a news hack's ears for an Indian tribe to blame WHITE MAN, there's plenty of greed to go around here: the Red-State Scorpion took money from Indians, the Indians take money from gamblers. It's a never-ending shakedown.
We hope RED-STATE's tribe never gets its money back. Many gamblers never get back theirs.
We hope RED-STATE's tribe never gets its money back. Many gamblers never get back theirs.
Friday, January 06, 2006
It has been learned on good authority (remember that one?) that the Washington Redskins are not among the several Indian Tribes to receive refunds from the Abramoff kitty.
I think this is supposed to be a joke.
Time to retire, Reid?
NOTE: This was posted at "5:58.43", or five minutes before I posted. You guys use Mickey Mouse Watch software, Em?
I think this is supposed to be a joke.
Time to retire, Reid?
NOTE: This was posted at "5:58.43", or five minutes before I posted. You guys use Mickey Mouse Watch software, Em?
Let's see: doing dope, reckless driving, contributing to the delinquency of a minor (three of them), flipping the bird to fans, speeding without a license, stomping on an opponent's leg...
Yep, definitely another CLASS ACT in professional college sports!
And the worst part is he ended his career at the TOYOTA BOWL!
(Via Yahoo! and KR)
Yep, definitely another CLASS ACT in professional college sports!
And the worst part is he ended his career at the TOYOTA BOWL!
(Via Yahoo! and KR)
A 77-year-old hammer-wielding Frenchman attacked artist Marcel Duchamp's 1919 urinal sculpture at the Pompidou Center in Paris.
Probably couldn't get it to work.
The unidentified vandal told police his hammer attack was performance art, which Duchamp would have appreciated.
I'd have appreciated it more if I could have gotten it to work.
(Via Topix.net. Sorry for the CHEAP CHANNEL.)
Probably couldn't get it to work.
The unidentified vandal told police his hammer attack was performance art, which Duchamp would have appreciated.
I'd have appreciated it more if I could have gotten it to work.
(Via Topix.net. Sorry for the CHEAP CHANNEL.)
Narnia Literary Tie-In Brings Humor Back to 'SNL'
We suspect science would have more luck bringing dodos back to life.
We suspect science would have more luck bringing dodos back to life.
Con-SER-va-tives, REJOICE! The editorial cartoonist LALA fired to make its heave-hoing of Robert "For Thee, Not for Me" Scheer look good is joining Investor's Business Daily!
Now to bone up on all the dogmas of free enterprise -- like GREED IS GOOD.
Now to bone up on all the dogmas of free enterprise -- like GREED IS GOOD.
I am not surprised to learn Duke was "wired". There is no honor among thieves.
(Via the Corner and the inevitable Kathryn)
(Via the Corner and the inevitable Kathryn)
We Freepers must have a LOT of free time.
P. S. The floating cheerleader is Katie Couric in high school. She was cute. Had I been a classmate I would probably have fallen hopelessly in love with her. Seeing her I wonder how we can discard the flaming idealism of our youths and grow cold and hard and grasping. Young Katie would probably look Katie the Icon in the face and yell, "I hate you."
After more than four decades at the Washington Post, the last 14 as executive editor, Leonard Downie Jr. finally became a household word several weeks ago in the wake of star reporter Bob Woodward admitting his role in the Plame/CIA leak case.
We COULD say something, but we won't.
We COULD say something, but we won't.
Anything a Republican Congress can do...
California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has called for a massive $222 billion program to rebuild his state's infrastructure, and he promised cooperation with rival Democrats.
...Ah-NULT can do BETTER!
(Sorry for the NewsMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has called for a massive $222 billion program to rebuild his state's infrastructure, and he promised cooperation with rival Democrats.
...Ah-NULT can do BETTER!
(Sorry for the NewsMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Let's see, how can I put this:
The New York Times said the American forces "with their planes, missiles, tanks and fleets are mourning and bleeding, seeking for a getaway from Iraq."
No no no, how about:
The popular blogger Daily Kos said the American forces "with their planes, missiles, tanks and fleets are mourning and bleeding, seeking for a getaway from Iraq."
Nope, still doesn't work. How about:
Sen. Edward Kennedy said the American forces "with their planes, missiles, tanks and fleets are mourning and bleeding, seeking for a getaway from Iraq."
Wait wait wait -- I GOT IT:
AL-ZAWAHRI SAID....
Could you tell the difference?
The New York Times said the American forces "with their planes, missiles, tanks and fleets are mourning and bleeding, seeking for a getaway from Iraq."
No no no, how about:
The popular blogger Daily Kos said the American forces "with their planes, missiles, tanks and fleets are mourning and bleeding, seeking for a getaway from Iraq."
Nope, still doesn't work. How about:
Sen. Edward Kennedy said the American forces "with their planes, missiles, tanks and fleets are mourning and bleeding, seeking for a getaway from Iraq."
Wait wait wait -- I GOT IT:
AL-ZAWAHRI SAID....
Could you tell the difference?
Technology is inevitable, as is growing up. But nothing can replace the sound of a friend's voice, a comforting hug, or seeing a real-live smile -- no matter what generation you're from.
True -- and sad.
(Via IWantMedia.com)
True -- and sad.
(Via IWantMedia.com)
A CURLEY (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGE with the somehow apt name of Nuckols churns out this bit of supposed information:
Baltimore has been named America's fittest city, with Chicago overtaking Houston as the fattest. Last year's fittest city, Seattle, drops to No. 8 in the new list, released today by Men's Fitness magazine.
But for manufactured news CURLEY's gang would be looking for work.
Baltimore has been named America's fittest city, with Chicago overtaking Houston as the fattest. Last year's fittest city, Seattle, drops to No. 8 in the new list, released today by Men's Fitness magazine.
But for manufactured news CURLEY's gang would be looking for work.
And speaking of K Street, FEAR STALKS THE INSANE ASYLUM ON THE HILL:
House and Senate Democratic leaders plan to unveil extensive lobbying changes later this month. Like other proposals, they would extend the prohibition on lobbying of Congress by former lawmakers and staff members to two years from one, eliminate floor privileges for former members who are registered lobbyists and put new limits on gifts and Congressional travel. Penalties for violations would be significantly increased.
The McCain measure that Mr. Lieberman is backing would take similar steps, including requiring lawmakers to disclose employment negotiations that could pose a conflict - an area of controversy in recent years as lawmakers and senior aides left Capitol Hill to work for industries formerly under their legislative jurisdiction.
Even IF the Republicans prove to be serious (PFFH-HH-HH), the Gucci crowd will tip-toe its loafered way around the new rules too.
House and Senate Democratic leaders plan to unveil extensive lobbying changes later this month. Like other proposals, they would extend the prohibition on lobbying of Congress by former lawmakers and staff members to two years from one, eliminate floor privileges for former members who are registered lobbyists and put new limits on gifts and Congressional travel. Penalties for violations would be significantly increased.
The McCain measure that Mr. Lieberman is backing would take similar steps, including requiring lawmakers to disclose employment negotiations that could pose a conflict - an area of controversy in recent years as lawmakers and senior aides left Capitol Hill to work for industries formerly under their legislative jurisdiction.
Even IF the Republicans prove to be serious (PFFH-HH-HH), the Gucci crowd will tip-toe its loafered way around the new rules too.
Microsoft Shuts Down Chinese Blog That Covered Newspaper Strike
There is not a single high-tech company that wouldn't do this. Of course there isn't a single high-tech company that doesn't pay millions for K Street's Gucci-shoe fetish.
Any connection?
There is not a single high-tech company that wouldn't do this. Of course there isn't a single high-tech company that doesn't pay millions for K Street's Gucci-shoe fetish.
Any connection?
Seeing how SAM LITTLE likes to prematurely declare world leaders dead we're surprised he allowed THE FREEP to "BREAK" this story from some hundredth-rate site called WORLD TRIBUNE on the "death" of Ariel Sharon, complete with several pop-ups, but we figure he'll have more time for prognostication.
P. S. It was posted by a member named Lunatic Fringe -- and WALTER "THE SPYWARE COWBOY" WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! picked it up.
P. P. S. He "died" at "6 a.m. EST" -- FOUR-AND-A-HALF HOURS BEFORE DOCTORS ANNOUNCED HE WAS STILL IN CRITICAL CONDITION.
BLOGGING POSTING DIMWITS.
P. S. It was posted by a member named Lunatic Fringe -- and WALTER "THE SPYWARE COWBOY" WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! picked it up.
P. P. S. He "died" at "6 a.m. EST" -- FOUR-AND-A-HALF HOURS BEFORE DOCTORS ANNOUNCED HE WAS STILL IN CRITICAL CONDITION.
BLOGGING POSTING DIMWITS.
Hill staffers have another motivation for relying on lobbyists, which is more long-term venal than short-term greedy. Many don't want to stick around and trade stories about budget resolutions at the House canteen for more than few years. They want to become lobbyists themselves and earn mid-six-figure salaries, instead of mid-five-figure ones. A couple of years on the Hill, and all the personal connections it brings, can translate into some nice offers on K Street down the road. Smitty isn't just your good pal today. He's your boss tomorrow.
Hmmm, maybe if we privatized government...oh, never mind. It's been done.
Hmmm, maybe if we privatized government...oh, never mind. It's been done.
GE BANCORP and REALTY NETWORK does it AGAIN -- and TOM IS THERE!
"Book of Daniel" just barely merits First Amendment protection, flaunting its edginess with such wince-inducing contrivances as a teenage daughter who stuffs her teddy bears with pot, a grandma with Alzheimer's who interrupts Sunday dinner to complain that her husband is "always showing me his penis," a wife whose lesbian affair with her husband's secretary started when the husband insisted both women join him in a threesome, and an Episcopal priest who pops Vicodins like Tic-Tacs and regularly converses with the living image of Jesus Christ.
Do I hear the AMERICAN SOCIETY OF WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS (whose motto is: More beer ads mean few teenage beer drinkers!!!!!) shaking its bobbleheads in approval?
"Book of Daniel" just barely merits First Amendment protection, flaunting its edginess with such wince-inducing contrivances as a teenage daughter who stuffs her teddy bears with pot, a grandma with Alzheimer's who interrupts Sunday dinner to complain that her husband is "always showing me his penis," a wife whose lesbian affair with her husband's secretary started when the husband insisted both women join him in a threesome, and an Episcopal priest who pops Vicodins like Tic-Tacs and regularly converses with the living image of Jesus Christ.
Do I hear the AMERICAN SOCIETY OF WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS (whose motto is: More beer ads mean few teenage beer drinkers!!!!!) shaking its bobbleheads in approval?
Even the true believers no longer believe in the true believer.
Being stung by THE RED-STATE SCORPION will do this to you.
"A political party needs leadership, and, frankly, I have been disappointed with DeLay's leadership," R. Emmett Tyrrell Jr., editor in chief of the American Spectator and a sponsor of the DeLay tribute dinner, told The Washington Times in an interview.
Double-stung!
Being stung by THE RED-STATE SCORPION will do this to you.
"A political party needs leadership, and, frankly, I have been disappointed with DeLay's leadership," R. Emmett Tyrrell Jr., editor in chief of the American Spectator and a sponsor of the DeLay tribute dinner, told The Washington Times in an interview.
Double-stung!
And speaking of the prime minister he's been rushed back into surgery. He does not stand a chance, save for divine intervention.
"IT'S ALL DAVID BROCK'S FAULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Sorry Brent -- TIMMY, it was first reported through JTA.ORG -- and I first saw it through FREE REPUBLIC. And sorry Brent -- TIMMY, this is more than a GAFFE, this is a MALIGNANT DEATH WISH. Remember him and the SUPREMES? Or FOGGY BOTTOM?
Unless, Brent -- TIMMY, you want to claim some sort of JEWISH CONSPIRACY....
Sorry Brent -- TIMMY, it was first reported through JTA.ORG -- and I first saw it through FREE REPUBLIC. And sorry Brent -- TIMMY, this is more than a GAFFE, this is a MALIGNANT DEATH WISH. Remember him and the SUPREMES? Or FOGGY BOTTOM?
Unless, Brent -- TIMMY, you want to claim some sort of JEWISH CONSPIRACY....
Here we think Mike Reidel's a snappy writer, and then he types this boneheaded flack sheet for Lord Lloud Wubbish in which he happily fails to mention THE SPECTACLE OF THE MILLENNIUM bombed in the movie houses -- which takes a little shine of the alleged $3.2 billion in global sales, which will vanish without a trace along with the Lord's productions, and his Puccini.
The music the Phantom composes "could only have been written in the 20th century," Lloyd Webber says.
Actually, we think Lord Lloud Wubbish's music is timeless. It shouldn't have been written at any time.
The music the Phantom composes "could only have been written in the 20th century," Lloyd Webber says.
Actually, we think Lord Lloud Wubbish's music is timeless. It shouldn't have been written at any time.
WAL-MART EMPLOYS RACIST SOFTWARE!
We knew the geeks were bad but we didn't think they were THAT bad.
It's official -- we will now hear about this for the next month.
We knew the geeks were bad but we didn't think they were THAT bad.
It's official -- we will now hear about this for the next month.
No denying it: LALA's The Envelope defines the show biz zeitgeist, as is blazingly evident in this prattle on the "small, literate, political-ish" emcee for the "small, literate, political-ish" Oscar® show. (Wait a second! What did we say yesterday? "An apt choice, though: the emcee -- ANCHORMAN of a CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED NEWS SHOW with a small audience doing an award show for CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED MOVIES with small audiences." Somebody reads our blog through osmosis.)
And the geniuses behind the masterworks are hugging themselves: the producer of CGI LEWIS says, "There's such a need for relevancy in the world at large, and not just the movie business. You want to make the Oscars® as relevant and sexy as you can be, within the guidelines. I have [nothing against] bad taste and vulgarism in a lot of what I listen to and see...." which is how he got to be a producer. "BUT IN THE OS-CARS® THERE'S NO PLACE FOR IT!!!!!" You reaffirm our desire to live. A "film his-TO-rian and cri-TIC" says, "The Oscars® have grown into this appalling circus. We're trapped with it, and very often the films are not worthy. I don't think the host is terribly important, but to the degree that we're fed up with the show, a new host is fresh meat." (Well, ground beef, anyway. You couldn't make up these quotes. Happily Academy® members can.)
It all adds up: the universe's greatest awards ceremony could have its LOWEST RATINGS EVER, thanks in no small part to the "liberal", "cerebral and dry", "small, literate, political-ish" EDWARD R. MURROW OF COMEDY, whose first gig may well be his last. Which may not matter anyway; as the sidebar implies, too many people watch the Academy Awards® out of habit. But then, "Producer and [A]cademy[®] member Christine Vachon says she barely remembers the host from year to year, let alone the movies" -- an apt eulogy to this cure for cancer.
P. S. We've changed our mind; with its core psychotic base the Os-CARS® will probably have the same audience as last year. Lots of people are drawn to accidents -- and the Os-CARS®.
And the geniuses behind the masterworks are hugging themselves: the producer of CGI LEWIS says, "There's such a need for relevancy in the world at large, and not just the movie business. You want to make the Oscars® as relevant and sexy as you can be, within the guidelines. I have [nothing against] bad taste and vulgarism in a lot of what I listen to and see...." which is how he got to be a producer. "BUT IN THE OS-CARS® THERE'S NO PLACE FOR IT!!!!!" You reaffirm our desire to live. A "film his-TO-rian and cri-TIC" says, "The Oscars® have grown into this appalling circus. We're trapped with it, and very often the films are not worthy. I don't think the host is terribly important, but to the degree that we're fed up with the show, a new host is fresh meat." (Well, ground beef, anyway. You couldn't make up these quotes. Happily Academy® members can.)
It all adds up: the universe's greatest awards ceremony could have its LOWEST RATINGS EVER, thanks in no small part to the "liberal", "cerebral and dry", "small, literate, political-ish" EDWARD R. MURROW OF COMEDY, whose first gig may well be his last. Which may not matter anyway; as the sidebar implies, too many people watch the Academy Awards® out of habit. But then, "Producer and [A]cademy[®] member Christine Vachon says she barely remembers the host from year to year, let alone the movies" -- an apt eulogy to this cure for cancer.
P. S. We've changed our mind; with its core psychotic base the Os-CARS® will probably have the same audience as last year. Lots of people are drawn to accidents -- and the Os-CARS®.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
An American HERO:
"Talk about a hard challenge right there. ... If you ever tried to ski when you're wasted, it's not easy," Miller told "60 Minutes" for a segment that will air Sunday. "Try and ski a slalom when ... you hit a gate less than every one second, so it's risky. You're putting your life at risk. ... It's like driving drunk, only there are no rules about it in ski racing."
It's enough to make you stand up and croon all ten octaves of "The Star-Spangled Banner" -- or wrap yourself in the GE BANCORP and REALTY logo and sing, "WE BRING GOOD THINGS TO LIFE!!!!!"
"Talk about a hard challenge right there. ... If you ever tried to ski when you're wasted, it's not easy," Miller told "60 Minutes" for a segment that will air Sunday. "Try and ski a slalom when ... you hit a gate less than every one second, so it's risky. You're putting your life at risk. ... It's like driving drunk, only there are no rules about it in ski racing."
It's enough to make you stand up and croon all ten octaves of "The Star-Spangled Banner" -- or wrap yourself in the GE BANCORP and REALTY logo and sing, "WE BRING GOOD THINGS TO LIFE!!!!!"
Indeed the only worthwhile bit of information to come from the Forbes Empire of Toadies is that blood thinners may have brought on Ariel Sharon's calamitous stroke. This might be a story worth investigating, but obviously Little Malcolm and his Gregs are too busy doing EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEWS -- this came from HealthDay.
Forbes.com does a hard-hitting story on the q-scores of fictional characters in tv ads.
And still more outstanding news:
Razor-Witted Jon Stewart To Host Oscars
We've known some dull razors in our time. We've known some dull WRITERS AND EDITORS in our time. And somehow too we feel like singing, "Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life...."
One thing is in his favor: He likely couldn't do worse than David Letterman. (Sorry, Dave.)
We're sorry too.
CRUSADING BUSINESS JERNALISM FROM LITTLE MALCOLM!
And still more outstanding news:
Razor-Witted Jon Stewart To Host Oscars
We've known some dull razors in our time. We've known some dull WRITERS AND EDITORS in our time. And somehow too we feel like singing, "Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life...."
One thing is in his favor: He likely couldn't do worse than David Letterman. (Sorry, Dave.)
We're sorry too.
CRUSADING BUSINESS JERNALISM FROM LITTLE MALCOLM!
Jimson Dickey wants a "truth commission" to act as judge, jury and exeuctioner for the EEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL Dubya and his administration.
I've got a better idea, Jimson! Let's have a permanent truth commission -- or may be can call it a Ministry of Truth -- or MINITRUE. Do I get the idea Mr. Mark would be a staunch supporter?
I've got a better idea, Jimson! Let's have a permanent truth commission -- or may be can call it a Ministry of Truth -- or MINITRUE. Do I get the idea Mr. Mark would be a staunch supporter?
HOW TO REPORT A PRESS AGENT'S NEWS: ZONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN emits a press release for his empire. An hour and a half later, voila! A PRESS RELEASE from FORBES.COM -- and a NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO GREG! Then ZONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN rushes over to his star and pays him and his agent their stock options, conducting business through a megaphone (and the snobs at The Wall Street Journals) -- and a half hour later -- VOILA! Somebody copies it down and it's on Street.com! A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO SCOTT! These guys are so big on happy endings no wonder they laid an egg in West Virginia.
We quote from Marek Fuchs's primer on how to write a sat radio story:
[T]hose reporting on Stern's move kept both feet planted firmly in the air. Dutifully, they split the difference -- obscuring the truth.
Inevitably, the stories first open with an anecdote -- making reference to a drunk dwarf or some such. Then, it's off to on-the-one-hand, on-the-other-hand land....
After going on in this vein, the reports invariably end with an anecdote from a Howard fan, most often drunk and standing in the freeze outside of his final terrestrial show. Some were planning to sign up for satellite. Yet some were not.
Such overly balanced coverage requires no frontal lobe thought and gives the issue an automatic equivalence: they both stand a chance and one will emerge successful....
Business is not always a zero-sum game, with a winner and corresponding loser. The only thing that runs that simple are story lines.
KEEP WRITIN' THEM STORY LINES!
We quote from Marek Fuchs's primer on how to write a sat radio story:
[T]hose reporting on Stern's move kept both feet planted firmly in the air. Dutifully, they split the difference -- obscuring the truth.
Inevitably, the stories first open with an anecdote -- making reference to a drunk dwarf or some such. Then, it's off to on-the-one-hand, on-the-other-hand land....
After going on in this vein, the reports invariably end with an anecdote from a Howard fan, most often drunk and standing in the freeze outside of his final terrestrial show. Some were planning to sign up for satellite. Yet some were not.
Such overly balanced coverage requires no frontal lobe thought and gives the issue an automatic equivalence: they both stand a chance and one will emerge successful....
Business is not always a zero-sum game, with a winner and corresponding loser. The only thing that runs that simple are story lines.
KEEP WRITIN' THEM STORY LINES!
Our friend Rog alerts us to Army's BLOG, which means now he can drop names in another medium.
And in similar news, our Ah-TISTE of the YEAR:
Artist Binds Feet in Desert, Loses Key
Artist Hops 12 Hours Through Desert After Binding Feet With Chain, Then Losing Key to Lock
Artist Binds Feet in Desert, Loses Key
Artist Hops 12 Hours Through Desert After Binding Feet With Chain, Then Losing Key to Lock
"He was dividing GOOOOOOOOOOD's LAAAAAAAAAAAND!!!!! And I would say, WOOOOOOOOOOOOE unto any prime minister of Israel who takes a similar course to APPEEEEEEEEEEASE the E.U., the United Nations or the United States of America. God says, This LAAAAAAAAAND belongs to MEEEEEEEEEEEE. You better leave it ALOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!!!"
REV. PAT DOES IT AGAIN!!!!!
(Via the Freep, where they pay particular attention to him)
REV. PAT DOES IT AGAIN!!!!!
(Via the Freep, where they pay particular attention to him)
SUMNER ANNOUNCES ANOTHER GIFT FOR THE AGES:
COMEDY CENTRAL(R) Announces Cross-Carrier Wireless Deal for 'South Park' Mobile Content
COMEDY CENTRAL(R) Announces Cross-Carrier Wireless Deal for 'South Park' Mobile Content
Oops! Dow Jones's new CEO spills the beans:
MediaWorks: MarketWatch traffic has sunk notably since Dow Jones bought it and eliminated the CBS branding. What’s going on there?
Mr. Zannino: It’s fallen less because CBS has come off the name and more because we discontinued a portal relationship we had with Yahoo Finance, which was drawing major traffic.
We’re in discussions with Yahoo Finance now in renewing that agreement. But we are best served if MarketWatch is a destination site rather than relying on portals to drive traffic. If you’re Yahoo Finance, you’re competing with MarketWatch, so why would you want to drive traffic there?
I've got an idea, Dick: spin off MarketWatch and make WSJ.COM FREE -- then maybe you wouldn't be talking about PORTALS.
MediaWorks: MarketWatch traffic has sunk notably since Dow Jones bought it and eliminated the CBS branding. What’s going on there?
Mr. Zannino: It’s fallen less because CBS has come off the name and more because we discontinued a portal relationship we had with Yahoo Finance, which was drawing major traffic.
We’re in discussions with Yahoo Finance now in renewing that agreement. But we are best served if MarketWatch is a destination site rather than relying on portals to drive traffic. If you’re Yahoo Finance, you’re competing with MarketWatch, so why would you want to drive traffic there?
I've got an idea, Dick: spin off MarketWatch and make WSJ.COM FREE -- then maybe you wouldn't be talking about PORTALS.
Little Bill Ford has a BETTER IDEA: he's going to build cheap cars -- and promote them with MARKETING:
Ford changes or tinkers with its ad slogan and brand strategy every 18 months or so, as executives change jobs in and out of finance, operations, sales, and marketing. The exception is "Built Ford Tough," which has successfully sustained the truck business as a familiar positioning for many years.
But the company has struggled with promoting the car side of Ford's business. Its current slogan, "Built for the Road Ahead," followed the balky, "If You Haven't Driven a Ford Lately, Look Again," which lasted two years and followed "No Boundaries," which lasted less than two years. "Advertising and even brand strategy at Ford has been viewed as somewhat disposable," worries one insider, who sees Fields' reemphasis on marketing as a positive step.
TOYOTA, the road is CLEAR AHEAD!
Ford changes or tinkers with its ad slogan and brand strategy every 18 months or so, as executives change jobs in and out of finance, operations, sales, and marketing. The exception is "Built Ford Tough," which has successfully sustained the truck business as a familiar positioning for many years.
But the company has struggled with promoting the car side of Ford's business. Its current slogan, "Built for the Road Ahead," followed the balky, "If You Haven't Driven a Ford Lately, Look Again," which lasted two years and followed "No Boundaries," which lasted less than two years. "Advertising and even brand strategy at Ford has been viewed as somewhat disposable," worries one insider, who sees Fields' reemphasis on marketing as a positive step.
TOYOTA, the road is CLEAR AHEAD!
A majority that deserves to stay a majority must demonstrate that it is capable of policing itself.
The Republicans proved incapable of that a long time ago.
The Republicans proved incapable of that a long time ago.
When I saw the dread words FIRST AMENDMENT I thought, oh no, another toadying lecture; happily the word PRUDE appears nowhere, and it's just a long pep talk urging the cable conspiracy to squeeze as much out of us turnips as possible. Alas, J. Max undercuts his noble argument with this proud line:
Looking back, we are able to see how admirably that happened when news organizations, both local and national, covered the mayhem caused by the hurricanes last year...
...and got half the facts wrong.
Looking back, we are able to see how admirably that happened when news organizations, both local and national, covered the mayhem caused by the hurricanes last year...
...and got half the facts wrong.
THE DEFINITION OF SELF-ABUSE: Of fourteen heds on E&P's site FIVE ARE DEVOTED TO THE MINE STORY.
SHUT UP!!!!! WE KNOW YOU LOVE YOURSELVES.
SHUT UP!!!!! WE KNOW YOU LOVE YOURSELVES.
We think we know why TRIBCO suddenly has a warm feeling for the TRUCKER'S FOLLY: it wants to take over GE BANCORP and REALTY'S GAMES DIVISION.
GOOD LUCK! Pffh-hh-hh!
GOOD LUCK! Pffh-hh-hh!
TV IS BETTER THAN EVER!!!!!
Maybe one reason sitcoms have declined in popularity is that they tend to be so sitcommy. The people in sitcoms all speak sitcomese, all act the same, do variations on the same dozen-or-so jokes, even look cut from the same catalogue.
So what does GE BANCORP and REALTY NETWORK do? Unveil another sitcommy sitcom! And it's a doozy:
Preview tapes of "Four Kings" were, as often happens with rough cuts sent to critics, in pretty bad shape. Many scenes looked murky and chronically underlit. And yet they actually weren't dark enough -- because I could still see the actors. The soundtrack was defective, too, because I could hear the -- for lack of a better word -- "jokes."
We know the feeling -- and we don't even have a TV set.
Maybe one reason sitcoms have declined in popularity is that they tend to be so sitcommy. The people in sitcoms all speak sitcomese, all act the same, do variations on the same dozen-or-so jokes, even look cut from the same catalogue.
So what does GE BANCORP and REALTY NETWORK do? Unveil another sitcommy sitcom! And it's a doozy:
Preview tapes of "Four Kings" were, as often happens with rough cuts sent to critics, in pretty bad shape. Many scenes looked murky and chronically underlit. And yet they actually weren't dark enough -- because I could still see the actors. The soundtrack was defective, too, because I could hear the -- for lack of a better word -- "jokes."
We know the feeling -- and we don't even have a TV set.
TYPETYPETYPETYPETYPETYPETYPETYPE:
Everyone has something to sit in front of and listen to music on, right?
Not any more. In a surprisingly short period of time, the hi-fi as we know it has been rendered obsolete, tossed into the dustbin of history. According to the U.S.-based Consumer Electronics Association, sales in 1999 for individual audio components -- CD players, tuners, etc. -- exceeded 270,000 units.
By 2003, that number had shrunk to roughly 20,000 pieces, barely enough to sustain a niche market.
It does not help that the Consumer Electronics Association has a hard-to-use-site, but this number is unquestionably typing. 270,000 audio components sold in 1999 -- and 20,000 in 2003? Circuit City and Best Buy should be out of business. Who says blogs are the leading source of wrong information?
(Via the inevitable ArtsJournal.com, which seems to link to the Globe and Mail more often than anyone else, perhaps because it's Canadian. Eh?)
Everyone has something to sit in front of and listen to music on, right?
Not any more. In a surprisingly short period of time, the hi-fi as we know it has been rendered obsolete, tossed into the dustbin of history. According to the U.S.-based Consumer Electronics Association, sales in 1999 for individual audio components -- CD players, tuners, etc. -- exceeded 270,000 units.
By 2003, that number had shrunk to roughly 20,000 pieces, barely enough to sustain a niche market.
It does not help that the Consumer Electronics Association has a hard-to-use-site, but this number is unquestionably typing. 270,000 audio components sold in 1999 -- and 20,000 in 2003? Circuit City and Best Buy should be out of business. Who says blogs are the leading source of wrong information?
(Via the inevitable ArtsJournal.com, which seems to link to the Globe and Mail more often than anyone else, perhaps because it's Canadian. Eh?)
This is self-serving. We have long known the Wall Street Journals have no guts -- what can we think of papers that charge for their combined Web site? -- but it merely depends on which one has the gutlessness. During the Clinton era one can be sure the Liberal Edition ignored uncomfortable truths, so now it's not surprising the CONSERVATIVE EDITION's covering up for its buddies. The Journals are AMERICA'S MOST DISHONEST NEWSPAPERS.
If my blog mattered (as if blogs matter) and I had comments I'd soon have to defend myself for having wasted my first four posts on show-biz trivia and having ignored the day's lead story. But because something's newsworthy doesn't make it comment-worthy. I could pull the gag the Professor and his legions of imitators pull:
Ariel Sharon had a massive stroke.
...but to what purpose? We all know the news; it's merely a restatement of the obvious.
And then there are the many times I butt against my own infinite ignorance. Yesterday I wanted to post on the allegation that Fidel ordered JFK's assassination, but I couldn't come up with a quickie; what's more I'd be entering a world of conspiracy theories, a world like the GET-A-LIFE!s', a world I wouldn't want to be warped into. The allegation seems credible -- Fidel and RFK had an intense love affair involving cigars and pens -- but it's forty-two years old, and it's history as hobby, and I think I have better use for my space, like complaining of airhead celebrities.
Ariel Sharon had a massive stroke.
...but to what purpose? We all know the news; it's merely a restatement of the obvious.
And then there are the many times I butt against my own infinite ignorance. Yesterday I wanted to post on the allegation that Fidel ordered JFK's assassination, but I couldn't come up with a quickie; what's more I'd be entering a world of conspiracy theories, a world like the GET-A-LIFE!s', a world I wouldn't want to be warped into. The allegation seems credible -- Fidel and RFK had an intense love affair involving cigars and pens -- but it's forty-two years old, and it's history as hobby, and I think I have better use for my space, like complaining of airhead celebrities.
Publicity stunts of the week. How did being an airhead get to be a virtue in the topsy-turvy world of news hacks?
MORE good news on the BIGMEDIA front:
Music album sales hit eight-year low in 2005
But 2006 will be better, right Paul Dreck? Comparisons? Oh, that's the MOVIE biz.
Music album sales hit eight-year low in 2005
But 2006 will be better, right Paul Dreck? Comparisons? Oh, that's the MOVIE biz.
What did I say? WHAT DID I SAY? I should get into the prognosticating biz. That's almost as good as the PROFESSIONAL COLLEGE FOOTBALL BIZ.
(Sorry for the registration site, but Texas's own was down. Aren't we in MIKE "FORE!" DELL'S BACKYARD? Don't we have a COMPUTER-SCIENCE PROGRAM someplace?)
(Sorry for the registration site, but Texas's own was down. Aren't we in MIKE "FORE!" DELL'S BACKYARD? Don't we have a COMPUTER-SCIENCE PROGRAM someplace?)
THE EDWARD R. MURROW OF COMEDY EMCEES THE OSCARS®!
When do the news hairshirts start complaining he shouldn't be doing entertainment?
An apt choice, though: the emcee -- ANCHORMAN of a CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED NEWS SHOW with a small audience doing an award show for CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED MOVIES with small audiences.
And can anyone imagine if THE KNIGHTING OF ST. EDWARD won the coveted BEST-PICTURE AWARD? The ED of comedy would be working on his.
Let's hope he pulls the same Peabody®-Award winning job he pulled on the rag publishers.
The new host will also use some of his own "Daily Show" writers to help with material.
TRANSLATION: They're reserving a hundred rooms in the Beverly Hilton. If they won the Emmy® they'd have to devote half the program to his writers.
When do the news hairshirts start complaining he shouldn't be doing entertainment?
An apt choice, though: the emcee -- ANCHORMAN of a CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED NEWS SHOW with a small audience doing an award show for CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED MOVIES with small audiences.
And can anyone imagine if THE KNIGHTING OF ST. EDWARD won the coveted BEST-PICTURE AWARD? The ED of comedy would be working on his.
Let's hope he pulls the same Peabody®-Award winning job he pulled on the rag publishers.
The new host will also use some of his own "Daily Show" writers to help with material.
TRANSLATION: They're reserving a hundred rooms in the Beverly Hilton. If they won the Emmy® they'd have to devote half the program to his writers.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Wisdom, for once, from the DOW 36,000 gang:
“You may be able to shout, but if what you have to say is crap, the volume isn’t much of an asset. Being angry and stupid isn’t good enough.”
The forces of both sides will spend their capital disproving that.
“You may be able to shout, but if what you have to say is crap, the volume isn’t much of an asset. Being angry and stupid isn’t good enough.”
The forces of both sides will spend their capital disproving that.
As widely expected, Lynn Swann is running for Pennsylvania governor. His football prowess and TV exposure are merely going against THE MAN WHO REVIVED PHILADELPHIA!!!!! Certainly Eddie has more experience groping women than practically any other politician save Fatso Glub-Glub. It would be a mark of distinction for our state to unelect that future indictable for a black conservative Republican, but I won't hold my breath.
I wish I knew exactly how to rebut something like this. USAOKAY!!!!!'s crack technology writer insists the blockbuster is dead -- and then goes on to cite something called the 80-20 rule: "About 20% of the CDs or movies or other content account for 80% of revenue." (Shouldn't that be the 20-80 rule?) Those two tentpoles atop the B.O. combined have done $400 million in business thus far. That they might have done better owes to saturation marketing and the negative psychology it increasingly engenders, not technology. The recorded-sound biz suffers from the exact same problem as the movie biz -- a budding dearth of talent. Terrestrial radio not only shares recorded-sound's woes but has been thoroughly rotted by greedy consumer-products firms and their agents CHEAP CHANNEL and SUMNER, who know only two formulas: BAD and LOUD; sat radio and iPods were merely a response. Putting TV shows on video iPods may appeal to a small clique that must have every new toy but it has its inconveniences; what's a video iPod but a sexy version of a Casio LCD TV with a hard drive? And to those who say the problem isn't quality, how will a tiny bad picture improve bad TV? Moreover the book biz shows the utter futility of "niche marketing": more books, surely more niches, and fewer overall sales -- just like the recorded-sound biz, just like the arthouse-movie biz. Could it be we've lived so long with conventional media we're simply tired of it? Our thinker joins the growing chorus of hacks who must insist, out of sheer self-interest, it's not their show-biz brethren's fault.
(Via IWantMedia.com)
(Via IWantMedia.com)
IN SHORT: Our wired world promotes stupidity, crappy culture and isolation. We don't need to venture far to see that. Do we fight back, or (in the immortal words of Tom Wolfe) do we "take it -- like a MAN"?
The Worse It Gets, the Better It Is: Why Show-Biz is Good for You recedes further into the realm of the period piece, and the remainder racks.
(Via [sigh] The Corner, without which it would not have been exposed at all)
The Worse It Gets, the Better It Is: Why Show-Biz is Good for You recedes further into the realm of the period piece, and the remainder racks.
(Via [sigh] The Corner, without which it would not have been exposed at all)
Well -- THIS is NEWS:
Secret services say Iran is trying to assemble a nuclear missile
Isn't it all a little obvious when the Psycho-in-Charge talks of rearranging Israel?
(Via ESPNCORP NETWORK NEWS)
Secret services say Iran is trying to assemble a nuclear missile
Isn't it all a little obvious when the Psycho-in-Charge talks of rearranging Israel?
(Via ESPNCORP NETWORK NEWS)
OH oh, the SUPERMEGAZILLIONAIRES of GOLF are all but boycotting the season's first "championship," and DAIMLERCORP is thinking of DROPPING ITS SPONSORSHIP?
It's not such fun dressing down your subordinates when Tiger isn't there.
It's not such fun dressing down your subordinates when Tiger isn't there.
Dick O'Brien, exec VP of the American Association of Advertising Agencies, disputed the findings. "We’ve seen over the last several decades that as alcohol-advertising spending increased, underage drinking substantially decreased...."
There's a seven-letter word that begins with B....
Hey Dick! Ever thought of RUNNING FOR CONGRESS? You could make a tax INCREASE a DECREASE!!!!!
There's a seven-letter word that begins with B....
Hey Dick! Ever thought of RUNNING FOR CONGRESS? You could make a tax INCREASE a DECREASE!!!!!
Fed Says Number of Rate Rises 'Probably Not Large'
So you're saying then they'll probably be small?
The Wizard of Oz will NEVER leave the Fed.
So you're saying then they'll probably be small?
The Wizard of Oz will NEVER leave the Fed.
OH oh, the NEWS HACKS are having a SARAH BERNHARDT of HEAD BANGING:
Boston Globe trashed 30,000 papers with "miracle" story
Here's why all the headbanging: they were doing their fake "Our Town" routine. The same people were too eager to yell MIRACLE!!!!!!!!!! precisely because they've been so eager to yell GRIM!!!!!!!!!! They also remember Baby Jessica, and how that boosted sales, and they allowed their sales-motivated wishful thinking to strangle them. We did not need this sordid episode to tell us why news hacks should be held in lesser esteem than -- first-degree murderers?
One thing's clear: we'll be hearing from the cretins HOWIE HAIRSHIRT and GREG and ROMY long after this gloomy story has faded from the news.
Boston Globe trashed 30,000 papers with "miracle" story
Here's why all the headbanging: they were doing their fake "Our Town" routine. The same people were too eager to yell MIRACLE!!!!!!!!!! precisely because they've been so eager to yell GRIM!!!!!!!!!! They also remember Baby Jessica, and how that boosted sales, and they allowed their sales-motivated wishful thinking to strangle them. We did not need this sordid episode to tell us why news hacks should be held in lesser esteem than -- first-degree murderers?
One thing's clear: we'll be hearing from the cretins HOWIE HAIRSHIRT and GREG and ROMY long after this gloomy story has faded from the news.
Rog, please, campaign for all those proud outh -- ARTHOUSE PICTURES for the best-picture OSCAR®. It has been our dream to see the OSCARS® tank in the ratings, all it needs is for your dream to become a reality. Go for it!
Among the publications that acknowledged Cronenberg’s work were (that is, aside from this very column): Entertainment Weekly, New York magazine, Rolling Stone, People, Us Weekly, two columns each in the New York Daily News and Philadelphia Inquirer, Newsday, the Denver Post and the New York Times’ Arts & Leisure section.
There's not a decent publication in the whole damned list. DOUBLE GO FOR IT!
P. S. Rog never stops telling us the Golden Globs predict nothing. We're ready to bet this year they will: if their ratings plunge -- and with the all-genius line-up of BEST PICTURE NOMINEES it has a chance -- then watch out, OSCARS®! It already has an emcee problem (and we think Mr. Top-10 was auditioning for them); bring on the hermetically-sealed genius and who knows how low you'll go! Which leads us to another prediction: We predict if Rog is right the ACADEMY® will enjoy ITS LOWEST RATINGS EVER. Indeed if this becomes a fight between GE BANCORP and REALTY's PC pics this will be a PR DISASTER, with endless blatherskite about how "out of touch" the Academy® is. One suggestion to hype interest: the men should wear some spectatcular evening gowns.
Among the publications that acknowledged Cronenberg’s work were (that is, aside from this very column): Entertainment Weekly, New York magazine, Rolling Stone, People, Us Weekly, two columns each in the New York Daily News and Philadelphia Inquirer, Newsday, the Denver Post and the New York Times’ Arts & Leisure section.
There's not a decent publication in the whole damned list. DOUBLE GO FOR IT!
P. S. Rog never stops telling us the Golden Globs predict nothing. We're ready to bet this year they will: if their ratings plunge -- and with the all-genius line-up of BEST PICTURE NOMINEES it has a chance -- then watch out, OSCARS®! It already has an emcee problem (and we think Mr. Top-10 was auditioning for them); bring on the hermetically-sealed genius and who knows how low you'll go! Which leads us to another prediction: We predict if Rog is right the ACADEMY® will enjoy ITS LOWEST RATINGS EVER. Indeed if this becomes a fight between GE BANCORP and REALTY's PC pics this will be a PR DISASTER, with endless blatherskite about how "out of touch" the Academy® is. One suggestion to hype interest: the men should wear some spectatcular evening gowns.
When GREG, who is as as stalwart a guy for the OUTSTANDING job news hacks do EVERY SINGLE DAY, uses words like DISTURBING and DISGRACEFUL, that means we STUNK OUT THE GYM, JAYSON-STYLE.
(Via MediaBistro.com)
(Via MediaBistro.com)
MR. TOP-10-LIST PICKS A FIGHT WITH THE NO-SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN ZONE!!!!!
We were about to suggest both men stick to what they do best: comedy and bloviating, but the guys seemed to have temporarily swapped bodies.
(Via -- ROMY?!?!? [I guess he linked to BOZELLCORP because he thinks it makes MR. NO-SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN ZONE look bad. Unfortunately he has a way of making other people look just as bad.])
We were about to suggest both men stick to what they do best: comedy and bloviating, but the guys seemed to have temporarily swapped bodies.
(Via -- ROMY?!?!? [I guess he linked to BOZELLCORP because he thinks it makes MR. NO-SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN ZONE look bad. Unfortunately he has a way of making other people look just as bad.])
Shucks, we were hoping Lord Koppel would work for PBS. It would have been the perfect "platform."
Well, it is heartening he will do "long-form" programs. Let's see if his anger has abated.
Well, it is heartening he will do "long-form" programs. Let's see if his anger has abated.
Of course what really gets Democrats rubbing their hands these days is -- IMPEACHMENT. It's the same smelly shoe on a different unwashed foot. Clinton was corrupt and had bad taste in women, but were these impeachable offenses? In the end Congress stepped into a glorified domestic quarrel. On the surface Dubya's offenses may seem more serious -- he lied about Iraq! He lied about SPYING ON PEOPLE!!!!! But this presumes warring on Saddam and spying on terrorist sympathizers are EEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL, something some people may not want to presume. It's most likely a moot point anyway; many voters like their local largesse providers and bribe dispensers.
Why did I deprive myself of sleep to endure some overdone entertainment of utterly no consequence save to make two athletic departments richer?
Here's betting the CITIGROUP BOWL is BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING.
P. S. Another exceptionally smart link from THE TOWERING BEACON OF BLOGGING. He was better off telling us why Harry Reid is the guilty one.
Here's betting the CITIGROUP BOWL is BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING.
P. S. Another exceptionally smart link from THE TOWERING BEACON OF BLOGGING. He was better off telling us why Harry Reid is the guilty one.
News hacks are furiously, gleefully spinning that the RED-STATE SCORPION has stung Republicans, which should not make us less angry at these venal politicians, despite the temptation. By turning such a sleazy scandal into mere one-upmanship the hacks foster the notion that all scandals are merely political, and can be dismissed with the wave of a hand. (Indeed the news hacks are smiling so broadly they may forget little things like facts; the Congresspoop's name is Doolittle with two o's, a name that's bad however it's spelled.)
Sad though this story is, and it was probably wishful thinking to hope all survived, we should reflect such accidents aren't as common as they once were, although (alas) it seems to owe perhaps to greater automation at mines, and (further alas) more regulations.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Tomorrow night's CITIGROUP BOWL, or NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP BOWL!!!!!, or whatever ESPNCORP NETWORK wants to call it, will likely be the last nellie for Keith Jackson, who is 77 and aches, and has "retired" once already. He can see the writing on the wall -- or hear the screaming of the TINNY TENORS OF FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SPORTS who will largely take over the BCS racket next year. Farewell, Keith. We'll remember your voice.
RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have TIM Mc-CAR-VER do the NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP BOWL!!!!!
RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have TIM Mc-CAR-VER do the NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP BOWL!!!!!
Okay, everyone want to sing the Godfather theme? All right! Ready? One, two THREE:
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA....
(With a nod of the wide-brimmed fedora to The Plank)
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA....
(With a nod of the wide-brimmed fedora to The Plank)
TWO PENTAGON-SIZED BUNKERS OF REINFORCED CONCRETE: Already THE WORLD'S FINEST BLOGGER is spinning the news so fast he may have vertigo for three years:
The Abramoff scandal is a big DC story and even a potentially national story, but when Howard Kurtz calls it a "story of historic proportions," I have to think people in D.C. need to get out more. Even if Abramoff brings down HARRY REID....
And speaking of that whiny Senator, an equal and opposite number in obstinance is boasting he'll be at his first annual CONVENTION -- in VEGAS! If blogging's so great why do we need conventions? Oh, to rally the faithful. Remember Gov. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHH's successful Internet appeals? For all its yowling mating calls to the press MoveOn.org has been a gnat flying in Dubya's face. Why do I doubt the power of bloggers as much as I doubt the veracity of politicans -- which is what the SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS have become?
The best known bloggers tend to be the most PR-prone, which means we can't read them without hooking our computers to a lie detector.
P. S. I guess I'm mad because in two weeks I'll have been at it with this typing three years to no effect except to get me excited over trifles, and some of the biggest smelliest bloviators started not long before I did. I hope someday my hits won't be all accidental.
The Abramoff scandal is a big DC story and even a potentially national story, but when Howard Kurtz calls it a "story of historic proportions," I have to think people in D.C. need to get out more. Even if Abramoff brings down HARRY REID....
And speaking of that whiny Senator, an equal and opposite number in obstinance is boasting he'll be at his first annual CONVENTION -- in VEGAS! If blogging's so great why do we need conventions? Oh, to rally the faithful. Remember Gov. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHH's successful Internet appeals? For all its yowling mating calls to the press MoveOn.org has been a gnat flying in Dubya's face. Why do I doubt the power of bloggers as much as I doubt the veracity of politicans -- which is what the SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS have become?
The best known bloggers tend to be the most PR-prone, which means we can't read them without hooking our computers to a lie detector.
P. S. I guess I'm mad because in two weeks I'll have been at it with this typing three years to no effect except to get me excited over trifles, and some of the biggest smelliest bloviators started not long before I did. I hope someday my hits won't be all accidental.
Excellent: a third satellite-music provider! Now maybe nobody can make money in this gig!
I'll drink to that! I certainly won't listen.
(Via the geeks of Slashdot)
I'll drink to that! I certainly won't listen.
(Via the geeks of Slashdot)
The auditions begin for Effete Edelstein's vacant big chair -- and will it take a big pile of lard to fill it. First up -- and up and up -- STEVE:
Match Point starts out crisply and deliciously, but in the end, it's a chess problem crossed with an ethics exam. I wanted to know so much more: about what it's like to be poor, to want to be rich, and to feel the force of a sexual grippe that would make you piss it all away. What do we get instead? A fact pattern lifted from Dostoevsky and soaked in nobody's warm blood.
Very good, VERY good -- here the seat's just empty and already we have the master's way with, er, writing! Good luck, Steve -- and ALL our contestants. May the worst writer win! (As he/she/it will.)
Match Point starts out crisply and deliciously, but in the end, it's a chess problem crossed with an ethics exam. I wanted to know so much more: about what it's like to be poor, to want to be rich, and to feel the force of a sexual grippe that would make you piss it all away. What do we get instead? A fact pattern lifted from Dostoevsky and soaked in nobody's warm blood.
Very good, VERY good -- here the seat's just empty and already we have the master's way with, er, writing! Good luck, Steve -- and ALL our contestants. May the worst writer win! (As he/she/it will.)
Discouraging: I just Googled that Bartlett's quote from Scorp, and of the 189 hits many come from the loony left -- it takes to the third page to get to a conservative source, The Weekly Standard.
Meantime a chant is going up from the Freep: HARRY! REID! HARRY! REID! HARRY! REID!
SHUT!!! UP!!!
Meantime a chant is going up from the Freep: HARRY! REID! HARRY! REID! HARRY! REID!
SHUT!!! UP!!!
"At the time I dealt with Jack Abramoff, I obviously did not know, and had no way of knowing, the self-serving and fraudulent nature of Abramoff's activities."
We'll remember that if and when you're convicted, Bob.
And the RED-STATE SCORPION speaks:
"I hope I can merit forgiveness from the Almighty and those I've wronged or caused to suffer."
OR:
"I'd love us to get our mitts on that moolah!"
Thinking of the Almighty then?
We'll remember that if and when you're convicted, Bob.
And the RED-STATE SCORPION speaks:
"I hope I can merit forgiveness from the Almighty and those I've wronged or caused to suffer."
OR:
"I'd love us to get our mitts on that moolah!"
Thinking of the Almighty then?
Okay, BIGMOUTH, let's see how many of THESE predictions come true. We're holding you to them:
GENERAL MOTORS WILL FILE FOR BANKRUPTCY!!!!!
CITIGROUP WILL MERGE WITH GOLDMAN SACHS!!!!!
COMCAST WILL BUY CBS!!!!!
RUPERT MURDOCH WILL BUY ‘THE WALL STREET JOURNAL’!!!!!
PFIZER AND BRISTOL-MYERS SQUIBB WILL MERGE, AND MERCK WILL SNAP UP SCHERING-PLOUGH!!!!!
THE U.S. STOCK MARKET WILL GO NOWHERE!!!!!!!!!!
And you having made these predictions, we'll make one of own:
JIM BOOM-BOOM CRAMER LOSES HIS BIG C JOB IN TWO YEARS AFTER LOSING MONEY FOR HIS CLIENT -- VIEWERS MAKING SCREWY PREDICTIONS!!!!!!!!!!
(Via the Rom, who is not interested in drugs, but who should be as he's a leading cause of heartburn)
GENERAL MOTORS WILL FILE FOR BANKRUPTCY!!!!!
CITIGROUP WILL MERGE WITH GOLDMAN SACHS!!!!!
COMCAST WILL BUY CBS!!!!!
RUPERT MURDOCH WILL BUY ‘THE WALL STREET JOURNAL’!!!!!
PFIZER AND BRISTOL-MYERS SQUIBB WILL MERGE, AND MERCK WILL SNAP UP SCHERING-PLOUGH!!!!!
THE U.S. STOCK MARKET WILL GO NOWHERE!!!!!!!!!!
And you having made these predictions, we'll make one of own:
JIM BOOM-BOOM CRAMER LOSES HIS BIG C JOB IN TWO YEARS AFTER LOSING MONEY FOR HIS CLIENT -- VIEWERS MAKING SCREWY PREDICTIONS!!!!!!!!!!
(Via the Rom, who is not interested in drugs, but who should be as he's a leading cause of heartburn)
So Kos made a statement. History is full of influential pundits making influential statements that are influentially forgotten.
I have long ditched the notion that either side cares for anything but its power and its wallets.
I have long ditched the notion that either side cares for anything but its power and its wallets.
1. The Chinese could build robots cheaper. 2. Microsoft could supply their software. 3. Who's going to buy all the robot-made goods when so many people are unemployed?
Dow Jones CEO Kann and WSJ publisher House resign posts
Hmmm, maybe they DO want to sell the company!
Hmmm, maybe they DO want to sell the company!
AS SEEN ON NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:
HOW 'BOUT IT, SNIDELY WHIPLASH?
And if that doesn't help...
...find yourself a NEW WOMAN!
HOW 'BOUT IT, SNIDELY WHIPLASH?
And if that doesn't help...
...find yourself a NEW WOMAN!
Time to alert USAOKAY!!!!!: some obscure Web site (we think it has something to do with employment, but who knows?) wants to raise its middle finger during -- well, you know WHICH NFL game -- and ESPNCORP NETWORK won't let it!
This DEFINITELY looks like a job for NEUHARTHIANS!!!!!
And speaking thereof, on his "blog" (no link in the story --- thanks, VNU!), the guy who founded this Web site -- he wears an earring -- had this rationalization:
Effective television commercials are polarizing.
In my opinion, in order for a television commercial to be effective, it has to be polarizing. This week, "USA Today" published its annual list of top television advertisements for 2005. "USA Today" showed Go Daddy’s Super Bowl ad to be both the 4th most liked — and the 4th most disliked — ad. That’s about as polarizing as it gets!
Thanks, SOB!!!!!
P. S. He's MAD because PepsiCo wants to use his kind of approach too. Why didn't you patent it?
This DEFINITELY looks like a job for NEUHARTHIANS!!!!!
And speaking thereof, on his "blog" (no link in the story --- thanks, VNU!), the guy who founded this Web site -- he wears an earring -- had this rationalization:
Effective television commercials are polarizing.
In my opinion, in order for a television commercial to be effective, it has to be polarizing. This week, "USA Today" published its annual list of top television advertisements for 2005. "USA Today" showed Go Daddy’s Super Bowl ad to be both the 4th most liked — and the 4th most disliked — ad. That’s about as polarizing as it gets!
Thanks, SOB!!!!!
P. S. He's MAD because PepsiCo wants to use his kind of approach too. Why didn't you patent it?
Some corporate law professor amasses some legal gobbledygook to justify why shareholders have no right to try to overturn management with proxies.
We don't understand this. Perhaps as glibertarians are always shouting BUSINESS UBER ALLES they believe CEOs are the seat of all wisdom. Then again they're always shouting about their beloved CREATIVE DESTRUCTION. I guess it depends on who's getting destroyed.
We don't understand this. Perhaps as glibertarians are always shouting BUSINESS UBER ALLES they believe CEOs are the seat of all wisdom. Then again they're always shouting about their beloved CREATIVE DESTRUCTION. I guess it depends on who's getting destroyed.
Should The Dow Ditch General Motors?
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And replace it with --
G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,
000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,
000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,
000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,
000,000,000,000GLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And replace it with --
G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,
000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,
000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,
000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,
000,000,000,000GLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A Variety flack discloses how the CONSPIRACY invents its numbers, and on the dangers of puffing the -- estimates he opines philosophically:
Studios may also be fearful of attracting attention from the SEC in the post-Enron era.
The CONSPIRACY, ENRON -- what's the diff? Their principal product's accounting.
Studios may also be fearful of attracting attention from the SEC in the post-Enron era.
The CONSPIRACY, ENRON -- what's the diff? Their principal product's accounting.
A couple loses a diamond wedding ring through Logan International's elaborate security, and already the color-code people have excuses:
Davis declined to address the Wrights' assertion that only one side of the checkpoint, located in Terminal B, was monitored by a security camera. ''Ultimately, we don't want to confirm where cameras are or aren't for security reasons," she said.
But, she added, ''there are a substantial amount of cameras throughout the terminal and at the checkpoint to cover the area and certainly to deter any criminal activity."
Hey, I wouldn't be too proud: you clowns let Mohammed Atta board. By my book that means you're capable of anything.
Davis declined to address the Wrights' assertion that only one side of the checkpoint, located in Terminal B, was monitored by a security camera. ''Ultimately, we don't want to confirm where cameras are or aren't for security reasons," she said.
But, she added, ''there are a substantial amount of cameras throughout the terminal and at the checkpoint to cover the area and certainly to deter any criminal activity."
Hey, I wouldn't be too proud: you clowns let Mohammed Atta board. By my book that means you're capable of anything.
Immigrants as presidents won't happen, for the sole reason we're overrun with them (immigrants and presidents, though I was thinking of the former); and while that or any other is no good excuse for disallowing them, when we think of the immigrants who might have been president, say, Henry the K, or Ah-NULT, we say, it's just as well.
It's sad you lost a son in the war, but those of you who oppose it never offer an alternative. If we run our foreign policy for people like you with personal pain, we'd have a foreign policy of nothing but personal pain, exactly what happened after Vietnam, to the tune of several millions dead in Asia. Yes, to call your son a hero may be a platitude; but for people like you to deny us an option because of your private loss is worse.
It is also annoying to note if you'd been proud of your son's sacrifice St. Warren and His holy minions would not have given you the column inches.
It is also annoying to note if you'd been proud of your son's sacrifice St. Warren and His holy minions would not have given you the column inches.
Monday, January 02, 2006
The JACKASSES at the Corner have decided to get into a big food fight among themselves over who can out-conservative conservatives – a fight started by the movie revueing of this hack named Dreher, who seems very much the Sen. Hole-in-the-Bagel of pundits.
Between him and JONAH they’re a good ad for ASPIRIN.
P. S. I won’t bother to update links or further correct my entries until the IDIOTS AT MOUNTAIN VIEW FIX BLOGGER.
Between him and JONAH they’re a good ad for ASPIRIN.
P. S. I won’t bother to update links or further correct my entries until the IDIOTS AT MOUNTAIN VIEW FIX BLOGGER.
Which name means more to you? Jimmy Stewart or Orlando Bloom? Gary Cooper or – I can barely spell this – Jake, er, Neanderthal? Whatever.
Today’s movie stars aren’t smaller, they’re subatomic.
Today’s movie stars aren’t smaller, they’re subatomic.
A great pontificator rues over the sorry state of journalism –- he says the PA-PER OF RE-CORD and the WAPOST lost a GREAT DEAL OF RE-SPECT –- but he’s willing to give NEW MEDIA a try:
Q. What do you think of blogging? Which blogs do you read and find valuable?
A. I think blogging is one of the great advances in democratizing speech with all the pitfalls and values any expansion of unrestrained speech can have. I believe it is one of the tools MSM should embrace to make themselves more transparent and create the continuing dialogue journalists and the public must have.
I check out a lot of blogs including, not in any order: Instapundit, LA Observed, Buzz Machine, Power Line, Press Think, RealClear Politics, Daily Kos, The Volokh Conspiracy, etc., etc., ad infinitum, ad nauseum....
So –- from one CW to another. That’s a great way to get different opinions –- TOM ROSENSTIEL.
Why didn't you mention Gawker?
(Via Rom, who else)
Q. What do you think of blogging? Which blogs do you read and find valuable?
A. I think blogging is one of the great advances in democratizing speech with all the pitfalls and values any expansion of unrestrained speech can have. I believe it is one of the tools MSM should embrace to make themselves more transparent and create the continuing dialogue journalists and the public must have.
I check out a lot of blogs including, not in any order: Instapundit, LA Observed, Buzz Machine, Power Line, Press Think, RealClear Politics, Daily Kos, The Volokh Conspiracy, etc., etc., ad infinitum, ad nauseum....
So –- from one CW to another. That’s a great way to get different opinions –- TOM ROSENSTIEL.
Why didn't you mention Gawker?
(Via Rom, who else)
Well, as I should have predicted, the movie S&M phreaks were out this whole week, so it’s hard to judge how well this golden age of movies did, but the answer is this week, not last. And to PAUL DRECK, you’ll probably get your way and continue to eruct about the swell B.O., but what if the comparisons aren’t so easy?
Well, it appears it’s possible to post from the notorious Blogger for Word program – but zillionaires of Mountain View, why should I always have to post the most inconvenient way I can?
Do I hear lips smacking on MadAve? Intel will allegedly spend $2 billion selling its dorky new logo! That's a lot of junk TV and rotten magazines if you ask me! Although much of the money will probably go to the trade rags, which merely put people to sleep.
Mortimer Calls 'Pink Panther' Role Tough
It must have become especially tough when THE ROOTKIT MOVIE CO. delayed the opening for six months because of ENTHUSIASTIC INTERNET REVIEWS!
And no mention of that in this CURLEY (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) PRESS RELEASE! And no byline either! More news hack OPENNESS AND TRANSPARENCY! Hey Curley, ROOTKIT invented reviewers, you invent stories. I LOVE your innovation!
It must have become especially tough when THE ROOTKIT MOVIE CO. delayed the opening for six months because of ENTHUSIASTIC INTERNET REVIEWS!
And no mention of that in this CURLEY (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) PRESS RELEASE! And no byline either! More news hack OPENNESS AND TRANSPARENCY! Hey Curley, ROOTKIT invented reviewers, you invent stories. I LOVE your innovation!
Is it me or are these domestic massacres becoming a once-a-week job?
I don't care what MR. SYNERGY says, something's snapped in our national psyche.
I don't care what MR. SYNERGY says, something's snapped in our national psyche.
Entertainment Weekly is not alone in heralding Steven Spielberg's new film, "Munich," as one of the best of the year. But some are scratching their heads as to why, in a four-page interview with co-screenwriter Tony Kushner, the editors didn't find room to mention he's "married" to the mag's own editor-at-large, Mark Harris.
Ask our 2005 NEUHARTHISM OF THE YEAR AWARD winner, DICK SCHICK.
A rep for the mag told us: "In a feature story about a major film being released in December, we didn't feel that it had any bearing on the story."
TRANSLATION: "WE'RE BIGMEDIA AND WE CAN DO WHAT WE DAMNED WELL PLEASE."
(Via, alas, the Freep)
Ask our 2005 NEUHARTHISM OF THE YEAR AWARD winner, DICK SCHICK.
A rep for the mag told us: "In a feature story about a major film being released in December, we didn't feel that it had any bearing on the story."
TRANSLATION: "WE'RE BIGMEDIA AND WE CAN DO WHAT WE DAMNED WELL PLEASE."
(Via, alas, the Freep)
It appears G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE's back to its old tricks: now my articles won't post, and every time I post I get an error message linked to my archive (or: "001 java.io.IOException: No space left on deviceblog/46/30/10/eugenedavid/archives/2006_01_01_eugenedavid_archive.html"). I will never again write an e-mail to the CLEM KADIDDLEHOPPERS of MOUNTAIN VIEW, because they never so much as pay attention to them, but why must those zillionaires always invent new glitches? Is it because Wall Street has rendered them INSUPERABLE?
And speaking of the new 'CON, the EDWARD R. MURROW OF COMEDY'S crew branches out onto the STAGE, as his Kleban-Award winning (!!!!!) head writer pens a scathing musical about -- JAMES WATT!!!!!
Up-to-the-minute!
Javerbaum told Playbill.com the satiric James Watt show (called Watt?!?) would be a "rock musical" (with music by GrooveLily and Striking 12 composer Brendan Milburn) because a rock sound would be utterly "inappropriate" to the story of conservative Christian Watt.
And insightful!
Better not hope he has too much success, Ed, or he may leave your show -- and you may have a DAN BLATHER crisis on your hands: DEAD AIR!
Up-to-the-minute!
Javerbaum told Playbill.com the satiric James Watt show (called Watt?!?) would be a "rock musical" (with music by GrooveLily and Striking 12 composer Brendan Milburn) because a rock sound would be utterly "inappropriate" to the story of conservative Christian Watt.
And insightful!
Better not hope he has too much success, Ed, or he may leave your show -- and you may have a DAN BLATHER crisis on your hands: DEAD AIR!
Ooooooooooooooh, MORE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL:
Muslim Scholars Were Paid to Aid U.S. Propaganda
Don't these P-Ulitzer-winning idiots run more stories like this they open themselves up to more questions like -- why don't THEY have to be paid?
Muslim Scholars Were Paid to Aid U.S. Propaganda
Don't these P-Ulitzer-winning idiots run more stories like this they open themselves up to more questions like -- why don't THEY have to be paid?
Sunday, January 01, 2006
Let's see if we can interpret this latest inscrutable signal from the CIA of Mountain View: the squirrel (or beaver, or whatever that is) is celebrating that the sun is shining (from behind the mountain -- get it?), so now he can get out a prism to burn that pile of twigs so he can send out smoke signals to his broker on Wall Street to push the price of you-know-what stock to $500,000 a share in three weeks.
OHHHHHHHHHHHH, WE figured it out: it's supposed to say "2006."
We still think we're right.
It is still hard to know if America has not been attacked for the past four years because (1) the Bush administration has waged an effective war on terror or (2) the threat is not as severe as originally thought. The answer may be a bit of both.
And that would be a reasonable answer except it appears in TOILETBOWL rag, and that very fact turns it into a kind of spin, however well-intended.
The American public may be less than sympathetic to the targets of the Bush antiterror crackdown. But if the administration is shown to have violated the civil liberties of mainstream peace groups or (heaven forbid!) members of the press, the outcry could produce an overreaction.
So what is it, Norm Grandson and company, national security -- or your eternal right?
And yes, there are times we wish heaven could forbid members of the press.
And that would be a reasonable answer except it appears in TOILETBOWL rag, and that very fact turns it into a kind of spin, however well-intended.
The American public may be less than sympathetic to the targets of the Bush antiterror crackdown. But if the administration is shown to have violated the civil liberties of mainstream peace groups or (heaven forbid!) members of the press, the outcry could produce an overreaction.
So what is it, Norm Grandson and company, national security -- or your eternal right?
And yes, there are times we wish heaven could forbid members of the press.
For the first time since I became public editor, the executive editor and the publisher have declined to respond to my requests for information about news-related decision-making. My queries concerned the timing of the exclusive Dec. 16 article about President Bush's secret decision in the months after 9/11 to authorize the warrantless eavesdropping on Americans in the United States.
I e-mailed a list of 28 questions to Bill Keller, the executive editor, on Dec. 19, three days after the article appeared. He promptly declined to respond to them. I then sent the same questions to Arthur Sulzberger Jr., the publisher, who also declined to respond. They held out no hope for a fuller explanation in the future.
So much for openness and "transparency."
I e-mailed a list of 28 questions to Bill Keller, the executive editor, on Dec. 19, three days after the article appeared. He promptly declined to respond to them. I then sent the same questions to Arthur Sulzberger Jr., the publisher, who also declined to respond. They held out no hope for a fuller explanation in the future.
So much for openness and "transparency."
I wish I'd heard of this before: two of history's great martyrs were guilty after all. We can take Upton Sinclair's word because the author of The Jungle was nothing if not earnest. The needless deaths of the now largely forgotten Sacco and Vanzetti were at the center of a culture suspicious of Communists but more suspicious of being too suspicious; they were also at the center of a popular and defunct romantic comedy I played in (I mentioned this before), Thurber and Nugent's arthritic, arteriosclerotic and senile The Male Animal, whose sole usefulness was to have introduced Gene Tierney to the world; it makes great pretentious bales of hay about a professor reading Vanzetti's letter to a class. (That Sacco and Vanzetti wrote other letters to "comrades" doesn't seem to have occured to anybody.) We can see why so many were duped; they wanted to believe two poor immigrants were innocents, and not murderous deviants, just as they hoped Joe Stalin was a mere kindly fat uncle with a moustache. With such delusions come genocides.
And that the former PBS talk-show host Mike Dukakis all but pardoned him shows that tank commander as one of history's most useful idiots.
P. S.
Dukakis now acknowledges that his administration erred - not in its decision to clear Sacco and Vanzetti's names - but by not also reaching out to the families of Frederick Parmenter and Alessandro Berardelli, the two men who were robbed, shot, and left to die on a Braintree street on April 15, 1920.
He said one reason for the oversight was that concerns about victims' rights were not as strong in the 1970s.
"It was a terrible gap in my judgment; we didn't seem to focus on that," said Dukakis, now a professor at Northeastern University. "I think so much of the focus has been on (Sacco and Vanzetti) and the possibility that other people did it that I'm not sure how much time and attention we paid to (Parmenter and Berardelli.)"
BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP.
(Via, alas, The Corner)
And that the former PBS talk-show host Mike Dukakis all but pardoned him shows that tank commander as one of history's most useful idiots.
P. S.
Dukakis now acknowledges that his administration erred - not in its decision to clear Sacco and Vanzetti's names - but by not also reaching out to the families of Frederick Parmenter and Alessandro Berardelli, the two men who were robbed, shot, and left to die on a Braintree street on April 15, 1920.
He said one reason for the oversight was that concerns about victims' rights were not as strong in the 1970s.
"It was a terrible gap in my judgment; we didn't seem to focus on that," said Dukakis, now a professor at Northeastern University. "I think so much of the focus has been on (Sacco and Vanzetti) and the possibility that other people did it that I'm not sure how much time and attention we paid to (Parmenter and Berardelli.)"
BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP.
(Via, alas, The Corner)
From what little we know (and we wouldn't watch it) we understand the Eternal Youth made himself presentable last night, though his act was heavily stage-managed. We're of two minds over this: we wonder what Dick's great contribution has been to mankind, and why such a control freak would put himself through the humiliation of the last few days. But we wouldn't wish him harm, and we hope he'll be in better shape next year, but we suspect his ego will bring him out whether he is or not.
And then there's our Mummers Parade, which despite the best efforts of our RENDELLS to turn it into an international tourist trap and corporate inpoverisher has never resulted in anything more than grown men wearing chartreuse ostrich feathers. At its best it's banjo choruses; at its worst it's standing and waiting, and still more standing and waiting, and so much standing and waiting you give up and go home, surely the worst organized parade in America (well, look who organizes it). This morning I had trouble blogging because of the one innovation of recent years, the massive mobile sound trucks playing rotten "music." Ten years from now those trucks will be so huge they'll shatter windows. They may have to look for money then.
P. S. The parade went well, and there were gratifying large crowds in some places (like last year), and lots of kids (and a few adults) gleefully sprayed one another with Silly String or generic variants, and all the vendors of pretzels and balloons looked alike, and the brigades were colorfully got up, and I found myself applauding a string band dressed as cowboys and Indians, but too many of the Fancies (I presume) paraded to those @#$%&* SOUND TRUCKS. Yet I could not escape this profound sense of melancholy. The Mummers head north on South Broad Street, and south of the Rendelltorium it is a sad place, block after block of brownstones echoing the Italian immigrants long gone -- Italian names appear on the funeral parlors along the way -- and a few closed shops like a furrier's named Maglio, its desks strewn with papers and junk, that could be preserved in amber; even the going businesses look out of business. Someone tried prettifying the scene with fading murals of Mario Lanza and Frank Sinatra, both of whom led sordid private lives and only one actually had anything to do with the city, unless you count both as Italians. (The Sinatra mural was financed by such philanthropic marvels as KnightRidder and CONCAST.) The street glows with offensive waste; the intersection of Broad and Washington Avenue is surrounded by a block-and-a-half of vacant lots, which would make good land for a supermarket or discount department store or something, but something won't appear solely out of race prejudice, and businessmen must be bribed to do right; industry was here until American businessmen decided they didn't need Americans to prosper. Heading east on Washington I saw someone is turning a handsome factory into unaffordable housing, a dubious prospect as not too far north is an EHDYUKAYSHUNUL complex with an elementary school whose neglected Web site exaltedly proclaims the "student population is racially desegregated with 95% African American, 2.3% Asian, 1.5% Hispanic and .77% White," reaffirming our SKOOL DISSTIRKT as the worst in the nation. That building brings on melancholy too; it was obviously planned in the Roaring Twenties and built in the Depression gale, and everywhere are haunting Art Deco touches -- and paint ineptly covering vast scrawls of art -- graffiti despoiling its dark-brown brick. As with City Hall, it rose on the notion the city would always be prosperous, and that such buildings could maintain themselves. Who could know cities are disposable?
P. S. The parade went well, and there were gratifying large crowds in some places (like last year), and lots of kids (and a few adults) gleefully sprayed one another with Silly String or generic variants, and all the vendors of pretzels and balloons looked alike, and the brigades were colorfully got up, and I found myself applauding a string band dressed as cowboys and Indians, but too many of the Fancies (I presume) paraded to those @#$%&* SOUND TRUCKS. Yet I could not escape this profound sense of melancholy. The Mummers head north on South Broad Street, and south of the Rendelltorium it is a sad place, block after block of brownstones echoing the Italian immigrants long gone -- Italian names appear on the funeral parlors along the way -- and a few closed shops like a furrier's named Maglio, its desks strewn with papers and junk, that could be preserved in amber; even the going businesses look out of business. Someone tried prettifying the scene with fading murals of Mario Lanza and Frank Sinatra, both of whom led sordid private lives and only one actually had anything to do with the city, unless you count both as Italians. (The Sinatra mural was financed by such philanthropic marvels as KnightRidder and CONCAST.) The street glows with offensive waste; the intersection of Broad and Washington Avenue is surrounded by a block-and-a-half of vacant lots, which would make good land for a supermarket or discount department store or something, but something won't appear solely out of race prejudice, and businessmen must be bribed to do right; industry was here until American businessmen decided they didn't need Americans to prosper. Heading east on Washington I saw someone is turning a handsome factory into unaffordable housing, a dubious prospect as not too far north is an EHDYUKAYSHUNUL complex with an elementary school whose neglected Web site exaltedly proclaims the "student population is racially desegregated with 95% African American, 2.3% Asian, 1.5% Hispanic and .77% White," reaffirming our SKOOL DISSTIRKT as the worst in the nation. That building brings on melancholy too; it was obviously planned in the Roaring Twenties and built in the Depression gale, and everywhere are haunting Art Deco touches -- and paint ineptly covering vast scrawls of art -- graffiti despoiling its dark-brown brick. As with City Hall, it rose on the notion the city would always be prosperous, and that such buildings could maintain themselves. Who could know cities are disposable?
And in another press release disguised as a news story, somebody's trying to take some dead show biz property and make an IPO or some such investment scam out of it. Thanks for the memories!
With our economy discarding decent jobs right and left despite the general prosperity mu-ni-CI-pal officials grasp at straws, and one especially alluring pile of straw is the RENDELLIAN notion that SPORTS IS AN ENGINE OF ECONOMIC GROWTH, and one powerful cylinder in the engine is the PROFESSIONAL COLLEGE BOWL GAME. So mu-ni-CI-pal types put out elaborate studies proving that changing the name of a bowl game to the Chick-fil-A Bowl will add $500 quintazillion dollars to Atlanta's economy, or that the AT&T Bowl Parade (or whatever they call it) creates $850 hexazillion dollars ROLLLLLLING into LALALand's coffers. Two questions: 1. If bowl games are the fountain of economic youth why do so many of them so frequently have sponsor changes? and 2. How much of the economic impact comes from drinking?
The NPCPCAA's lobbyists wrote this piece of twaddle, plain and simple, and Rev's boys swallowed it gaggingly whole.
P. S.
With the commitment from Chick-fil-A, the bowl will be able to increase its per-team payout from the current $2.4 million to more than $3 million per year beginning in 2006. That would give the Chick-fil-A Bowl the second-highest payout among non-BCS bowls. The Capital One Bowl in Orlando is expected to pay each of its teams $5.19 million this season.
Does any shareholder EVER ask how much this corporate staring in the mirror COSTS?
The NPCPCAA's lobbyists wrote this piece of twaddle, plain and simple, and Rev's boys swallowed it gaggingly whole.
P. S.
With the commitment from Chick-fil-A, the bowl will be able to increase its per-team payout from the current $2.4 million to more than $3 million per year beginning in 2006. That would give the Chick-fil-A Bowl the second-highest payout among non-BCS bowls. The Capital One Bowl in Orlando is expected to pay each of its teams $5.19 million this season.
Does any shareholder EVER ask how much this corporate staring in the mirror COSTS?
And these films will probably bomb in the box-office, for after over four years the concrete-brained Hollywood mindset is the same: 9/11 "happened."
Civic activism can sometimes make the necessary impossible. Whether they like it or not the screaming meemies can't stop the demolition of the shrouded black tomb on Liberty St. What would be worse: tearing the building down and releasing a small quantity of the toxic dust that smothered the whole neighborhood during the 9/11 "tragedy", or letting it stand there, an eyesore and a monument to paralysis?
After the shenanigans with the South Korean stem cell researcher we should not wonder that no one has ever done full-scale studies on depression drugs without the kind support of big pharma. Over half-a-century of such drugs and we still don't know how the brain works? Not being a doctor we would mightily guess the drugs work, and that they function at a higher level than the placebo effect; but not being a doctor we would guess the brain's chemistry can confound even the most carefully planned research, a job made easier with the lack of credible studies.