Posted 1:19 PM by Gene

History's Greatest Ex-President eructs again:

"In my opinion, we should make every effort now to withdraw American troops from Iraq," he said. "I would say certainly begin a major withdrawal no later than the end of this year."

Sorta like withdrawing our forces from -- IRAN, huh Peanut?

But he does offer the kind of sage political advice that got him elected History's Greatest Ex-President:

As for who should carry the Democratic Party's mantle as a presidential candidate in 2008, Carter declined to offer a specific name. But the person should have two characteristics, he said.

"They have to be compatible to the South. And they have to be compatible with families that go to church," said Carter, an evangelical Christian. "I think if we can add that on to what we had with (John) Kerry in the past, I think we'll have a winning combination."

Hmmm, an evangelical Sen. HEIN-TZZZ! Sounds like a WINNING COMBINATION to me!

(Via Wired News)

Posted 12:47 PM by Gene

Oops! The FRENCH accepted Israel's right to SELF-DEFENSE.

I see why the Democrats want John Bolton out of there.

Posted 11:43 AM by Gene

Why is it news when three Hollywood megalomaniacs support a Democrat?

AND PFIZER, WE DO NOT LIKE YOUR "ACCIDENTAL ROLLOVER" AD.

Posted 11:39 AM by Gene

We cut-and-paste this story from ESPNCorp Network News.com in its entirety as it seems to presage -- the FUTURE OF JERNALISM:

------------------------------------------------------------

Aug. 5, 2006 — Sure, they've got rock solid abs and a mouth full of pearly-whites, but Hollywood's hottest hunks have been losing out to the funny guys who are redefining what it means to be sexy. Chiseled features or not, ladies everywhere are looking to swap good looks for laughs.

"Funny men are incredibly appealing because it's just an instant good time," said Caroline Schaefer, Senior Editor at US Weekly. "They love the laughter. They love the sense of humor."

It's been reported that sparks flew between Jennifer Aniston and her funny man Vince Vaughn on the set of their movie "The Breakup."

"If Jennifer Aniston wants to come my way and she wants me to make her laugh, hah hah, I am your trained monkey," said actor Michael Ian Black. "Whatever you need, I will supply."

Black jokes that he's the whole package.

"Do I have the rock hard abs?" he said. "Yeah, however I also have the winning personality and the winning smile that launched a thousand ships."

Aniston isn't the only one who chose someone who would make her laugh. Heather Locklear traded her rocker hubby Richie Sambora for comedian David Spade. Even bombshell Jenny McCarthy found her match with the always unpredictable Jim Carrey.

Ben Stiller, Will Ferrell and Jerry Seinfeld are well known for seducing women with their wit.

"They're not afraid to make a fool of themselves," Schaefer said. "They're also very easy-going, they sort of go with the flow."

ABC News's Taina Hernandez reported this story for "Good Morning America."

------------------------------------------------------------

News hacks think they're the smartest people on the planet, yet they keep redefining the meaning of STUPID.

Posted 11:36 AM by Gene

So! The U. S. and the French have agreed that the League of Nations Security Council will pass a piece of paper.

We suspect this will not stop the fighting.

One wonders what GENERALETTE did to win over the FRENCH.

Posted 10:34 AM by Gene

Cubans Fear U.S. Attack

With DUBYA?

Posted 10:11 AM by Gene

THE SUPERMEGAZILLIONAIRES IN MOUNTAIN VIEW ARE ACTING UP AGAIN!

Posted 10:02 AM by Gene

Now it's "farm workers."

Maybe they were farm workers. (We may never know; the hacks almost take pride in saying their heroes won't let them on the battlefield.) Whatever, Israel must ignore the CHAMBERLAINS and the SCRIBBLERS and pursue its goal. The alternative is a CALIPHATE -- and let's see how many of the CHAMBERLAINS and SCRIBBLERS are among the first to be PUBLICLY EXECUTED.

Posted 9:59 AM by Gene

Chase Utley did not look or sound anything like Joe DiMaggio last night at Shea, where his 35-game hitting streak died hard, and without much dignity.

It was just one bad evening in a promising career, but Utley looked like a chump at the plate.

He isn't the first; he won't be the last.

Posted 9:52 AM by Gene

Not long ago Bill Bennett believed public "shame" could help take care of the evil in society. Today we have boastful serial shootists, and boastful serial molesters, and doping "champion" bicyclists. (Bennett himself did not admit he was a compulsive gambler until some hacks tried to embarrass him solely for his politics.) At what point is "shame" no longer an option?

The Islamists are drooling.

Posted 10:42 PM by Gene

One of USAOKAY!!!!!'s lead ad-blurbists stumbles and falls over the truth:

For every stock-car fanatic whose closet overflows with red sartorial tributes to Dale Earnhardt Jr., heir to his late dad's steering smarts and sacred status, there are more than enough who dismiss the sport as little more than a blur of mobile billboards making left turns for nearly four hours.

Happily Suzy gets up to finish her 1,135-WORD movie ad. USAOKAY!!!!!'s aura as AMERICA'S NUMBER-ONE SALES PITCH is safe.

Posted 10:17 PM by Gene

Toyota's rep won't suffer (though it should) because so many people (especially BOOMERS) automatically believe the Japanese put out better cars -- and because so many of them read Consumer Reports.

Posted 10:10 PM by Gene

A reader raises a tough question with Jo-NAH:

Isn’t “socially liberal but fiscally conservative” what libertarianism is? Isn’t that what WFB is?

But we never raise such questions in NRO -- and not of our heroic founder and the dad of history's greatest satirical novelist.

P. S. I think I'll be surfing with Firefox from now on; with the Flashblock attachment I can avoid those INTERMINABLE banner ads for Fidel's Friend Makes A CON-SER-VA-TIVE MOVIE (Hallelujah!).

Posted 6:03 PM by Gene

Does anyone here remember when Liz and Dick co-starred in Private Lives, one of the great unintentional theatrical hoots which inspired one of the great putdowns from Frank Rich when he still had his faculties? WELL, Joan and Linda are doing the same thing, and it ain't with Noël Coward. We suspect judging from the Playbill.com still (and their combined age of 136) their make-up regiments will have a fight on their hands. Indeed all that Pan-Cake glopping may be more fun than the show.

As previously announced, the "Dynasty" co-stars will take on the roles originally played on the road by Carol Channing and the late Mary Martin.

This wouldn't have sounded good on paper thirty years ago.

P. S. It's a bus-and-trucker and produced by eight people. That's even more of a laugh. Who wants to bet this bus rolls to a halt before the last stop?

Posted 2:47 PM by Gene

Well, if HHHHHWWWWWALTER CRRRRRONKITE JR.'s ever fired, we have the REPLACEMENT!

Posted 2:41 PM by Gene

MadAve's dimwits are trying to use eBay to buy ads, meaning only they'll finance TV junk more efficiently.

Posted 2:38 PM by Gene

And here's another reason the news biz is in trouble -- we read shorthand. When we see, ISRAELI AIR RAIDS KILL 40 CIVILIANS IN LEBANON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, we know what it means. We do not need a highly paid army of correspondents and analysts and pundits to tell us what it means. We know what it means because we've been taught the meaning for decades. If newspapers printed on an 8-1/2x11 sheet, and the nightly news were limited to five seconds, we would still know what it means. In short, our trust in the press is equally microscopic. That is not good news for the hacks -- or for those who wish to stay well-informed, like US.

Posted 2:35 PM by Gene

ISRAELI AIR RAIDS KILL 40 CIVILIANS IN LEBANON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [The usual overemphasis added]

Clearly Hezbollah, like the Palestinian groups, uses human shields. We do not know precisely what happened at Qana and may never know for sure, but it is likely that we have reached a stage where the IDF believes itself damned regardless of how it regards civilian life, which makes things worse for Lebanese civilians, easier for Israeli troops, and will likely have no effect at all on the international media campaign that Israel has already lost.

SO THERE!

Posted 9:24 AM by Gene

We have not commented on Elisabeth Schwarzkopf's death out of our sheer total ignorance; but Terry Teachout has, and on these eulogistic matters he is usually right. To sum up, she was a great singer (although the opera geeks disagree as to what extent), and "a great beauty" (undeniable). She was also a Nazi.

I do have the Rosenkavalier in my CD library but haven't gotten to it as it's almost four hours and I'm glued to the computer. One of these days....

Posted 9:20 AM by Gene

Let's see, the unemployment rate goes up; that usually means the stock market goes up. Right?

P. S. at 6:18 p.m. Sort of.

Posted 9:07 AM by Gene

Experts warned that Britain had gone from a nation "enjoying a harmless tipple" to one developing "a dangerous alcohol addiction".

And Britain has gone from being an empire to...oh never mind.

Posted 9:04 AM by Gene

The only difference between what the buzzword emitters of MadAve must call "guerrilla marketing" and "RING AROUND THE COLLAR" is that these guys are using our money vandalizing buildings.

Posted 8:48 AM by Gene

I had hoped not to comment on THE MAN's latest publicity stunt, but the reason He always inflicts us is that the hacks prostrate themselves to Him. This is the lesson of Qana: there is no depth to the hacks' credulousness.

By the way:

Five days after Israeli airstrikes demolished a building where dozens of people had taken shelter in the town of Qana, human rights investigators and medical authorities have confirmed 28 deaths, well below the official toll of 54.

There is a strong odor of rotten fish to this -- but that's the world's favorite food.

Posted 8:45 AM by Gene

Iraqi Shiites chant 'Death to Israel'

So?

Posted 6:46 AM by Gene

``The success of Hezbollah reflects well on the regime in Iran'' in military terms, said David Schenker, a senior fellow at the Washington Institute for Near East Policy. ``It adds a deterrent in terms of making the West think twice about putting damaging economic sanctions against Iran, and it will make people in the West think twice about the military option.''

TRANSLATION: Cowardice pays.

Posted 6:43 AM by Gene

I should state up front that I have enjoyed and respected Mr. Sullivan’s work for a long time, although considerably less so for some time. That happens; blogs move in different directions as the author proceeds along their private intellectual anabasis, and you find less of what you came for, or a shift in tone and timbre that lessens the bond you once felt. I’m sure it’s happened with my readers over the years.

This is true, Jim; and despite the link from the fool JPod I haven't the foggiest idea what you're saying.

Posted 6:36 AM by Gene

The End of the Right, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

And what does YOUR side have to offer?

Posted 6:24 PM by Gene

I think it's time for GREG to throw a long-overdue TANTRUM!

(Via the usual Romy)

Posted 11:54 AM by Gene

This wasn't supposed to happen! P&G hoped to put ten blades, twenty blades, thirty blades, a hundred blades, A THOUSAND BLADES on its razors so it could raise the price umpteen gazillion percent and spend more money on more junk television to get men to buy more expensive razors and -- jeez, how DID this happen?

Posted 10:42 AM by Gene

Another brilliant observation from the ASSociated Press:

Heavy people may collapse more in heat

Posted 10:38 AM by Gene

Please, pretty please, let's have a CEASE FIRE!

Posted 10:37 AM by Gene

The Democrats have decided not to cut and run, but to cut and walk instead.

Posted 8:41 AM by Gene

Do you recall the furor when GE BANCORP AND REALTY passed over Letterman? Or when ESPNCORP nearly forced LORD KOPPEL from his job?

It doesn't seem so important anymore.

Will Dave still pull his adolescent gags when he's 80?

Posted 8:26 AM by Gene

Reputation-rich Jaguar is believed to have been losing money since 2001, when it embarked on a questionable strategy to boost sales by offering the X-Type, a quasi-luxury $33,000 sedan based on the Ford Mondeo, a midsize sedan sold in Europe as a family car. That lack of pedigree hurt Jaguar's image more than it helped sales.

Jaguar's U.S. sales peaked at 61,204 in 2002, but by 2005 fell to 30,424 and this year are down 30 percent through July, the most of any Ford brand.

How typical of an American auto maker.

Posted 6:48 AM by Gene

A startling admission from one of Noo Yawk's finest rags:

Radio morning show hosts Opie and Anthony yesterday escalated their verbal attack - some might say publicity stunt - against Howard Stern by daring him to get them kicked off CBS' "Late Show With David Letterman." [Emphasis added]

We can't recall those words ever in a story about these defenders of truth and justice. Indeed we wouldn't have noticed it at all otherwise as these bulwarks of freedom remind us (again) of THE MASTER's line, "Sir, there is no setting the point of precedency between a louse and a flea" -- and here was can mean it literally, given their ratings.

Posted 10:51 PM by Gene

Congresspoop Respected X. Marine gets sued, a price one must pay for TELLING THE TRUTH -- especially if one is to be Babs's Majority Leader.

Posted 10:41 PM by Gene

Old Advisors' Home Week continues at the WaPost with SKNNNNNNNNNNNNX (you know, Dagwood Bumstead asleep -- for those who've never seen my blog) propping his P-Ulitzer winning feet on a desk and belching things like, "North Korea has not moved against South Korea for more than 50 years; the peace has held" (so have the mass starvations) and, "[T]oday the embassy is again open -- in Hanoi -- and the United States is trading freely with a united Vietnam" (cost: only a couple of million Vietnamese and Cambodians dead). I'll say it again: if we never again heard from these old gasbags like Piano-Bar Man and Brent the Bootlicker and Henry the K and Jimmah and SKNNNNNNNNNNNNX the world would be quite content.

Posted 5:31 PM by Gene

Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh-da-DUT DUT!

P. S. MONSIGNOR LAPIN SPEAKS!!!!! And he says I -- MEL was basically right.

So was your pal THE RED-STATE SCORPION.

OR:

A balanced and reasonable view would be that if indeed he really does hate Jews, then he deserves respect for his self control when not drunk.

TRANSLATION: He's an anti-Semite -- SOBER.

Nothing yet from Mr. A. P. T.

P. P. S. More from our favorite PR man Rog:

Two years ago, Gibson gave an interview to former Republican speechwriter Peggy Noonan for Reader's Digest. Now the outtakes of that interview have been made available to this column....

Gibson actually ridiculed the historically acknowledged number of Jews killed by Hitler.

Of the Holocaust, Gibson told Noonan: “I mean when the war was over they said it was 12 million. Then it was six. Now it’s four. I mean it’s that kind of numbers game …”

How about zero? That's what DAD thinks.

P. P. P. S. Walter Williams, who did NOT invent Mr. Bill, says Mel's being PERSECUTED!!!!!!!!!!, suggesting he may have been a stand-in. Alas, even a few of the FREEPERS aren't buying him:

IT WAS PAYBACK FOR DOING A FILM ON CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Emphasis added.]

Wow, those damn Liberals [sic] made Mel Gibson drive drunk in Malibu, endangering the lives of others, and caused him to to make abusive anti-Semitic sexist comments to the police. They certainly are crafty....

Posted 5:29 PM by Gene

The new America:

In the stifling subway tunnels, there was no air conditioning on three cars of the train Sayed Bukhari rode into Manhattan.

"People were crying," Bukhari said.

They had the option of getting off the train and waiting for another one. They might also have realized winter is closer than they think. It seems people will use any excuse to kvetch, or feel put-upon.

Posted 2:30 PM by Gene

Battlin' Lollipop Lou's MAD:

This Republican-led, do-nothing Congress is on its way home for a five-week vacation. I'm sure while there, they'll be glad to explain to their constituents why they need so much rest in a year in which they will work fewer than 80 days.

You mean slurping up to CEOs and banging tirades on immigration is work?

Posted 2:09 PM by Gene

Speaking thereof, Ms. Peter Travers quotes from a "friend":

If you go into your neighborhood Denny's or Applebee's or if you're on a bus and ask people next to you "Have you ever heard of a blog?" chances are they've never heard of it. It's a very small phenomenon at the end of the day and I think it's important to keep that in mind, that most regular people do not read blogs, do not even know that they exist. But to get back to your question, I think that the whole, that Kos is sort of the kingpin keyboarder and he has had a particularly pernicious effect on the Democratic Party, again, because he's driving it to the left.

So -- blogs have no influence, and they're hugely influential. Ms. Travers can relate to that.

Posted 2:06 PM by Gene

I don't know about you, Jo-NAH, but I'm getting tired of all those ads for Fidel's Friend Makes A CON-SER-VA-TIVE MOVIE (Hallelujah!). Can't you find other sponsors?

What's more, they're clogging your site.

Posted 2:00 PM by Gene

A-lih-steh-UH of Al Reut tells a joke:

Olmert called for an international combat force to implement a U.N. resolution calling for Hizbollah to be disarmed, saying Israel had already destroyed much of the group's military power.

Soon after he spoke, one of at least 206 rockets launched by Hizbollah landed just inside the West Bank after flying further than any fired at Israel in the past three weeks.

What do you clowns do for amusement? Watch snuff films?

Posted 10:49 AM by Gene

Top Democrats are increasingly concerned that they lack an effective plan to turn out voters this fall, creating tension among party leaders and prompting House Democrats to launch a fundraising effort aimed exclusively at mobilizing Democratic partisans.

We'd have thought having our operatives in the press saying we'll sweep both houses of Congress would be enough.

Posted 10:45 AM by Gene

SI's geeks got into a fit of hysterics because THE ERIC SEVAREID OF COMEDY played tricks with Wikipedia. The geeks called it "hilarious." We wonder if it was as mirth provoking as ERIC's foray into WASHINGTON.

Posted 9:41 AM by Gene

Ooooh, Lee Siegel calls Chris Hitchens a "simian"!

Watch out for the banana peels!

Posted 9:23 AM by Gene

The TWXSTERS insist Raul Castro will be a reformer, which reminds us of how Yuri Andropov graced their rag years ago -- with claims he was a reformer. (Remember his love affair with JAZZ?) (Via CNN.com)

Meantime, dammit, King Richard's earning more of our money.

Posted 9:05 AM by Gene

So long as companies like The Big K engage in chicanery like reducing package size to increase prices, we should put them in precisely the same leaky ethical boat as ENRON -- and not be ashamed to do so.

And of course the money's going to THE REVERSE ROBIN HOODS of MADAVE and HOLLYWOOD -- to get people to buy MORE OF THE SMALLER BOXES!

Posted 8:45 AM by Gene

And while the hacks root root root for Hezbollah, they knock off their shoes and relax knocking off more PR, this for an impoverished "novelist."

We wonder if David "300" Bauder was there.

(Via ArtsJournal.com)

Posted 8:27 AM by Gene

Speaking of oafs, Jonny Hairshirt has stopped reading Gawker because of its "shock value and cheap laughs."

NOW the schlemiel notices?

Posted 6:54 AM by Gene

SAM LITTLE and his friends have instigated a stink among their own circle accusing Hezbollah of staging that Lebanon massacre, and the hacks of helping out. News hacks are a thug's best friend, and I have no doubt they'd happily assist in a noble cause. Certainly David "300" Bauder is a torpid pliable hack, as witness his many show-biz press releases. But SAM's idea of trenchant reporting is Debka, and we gave him the nickname because he screamed about a SAM attack on an American jetliner that never happened, and just barely retracted it. Too often finding the truth on the Web is sorting among competing half-truths -- or lies.

Posted 6:53 AM by Gene

Oh well, back to ten hits a day, if that many.

Posted 1:33 PM by Gene

We wish we knew why all of a sudden we're getting hits from Technorati. The source (that story about MEL) is puzzling enough. Plus it's from WSJ(S).com, whose articles inspire tons of links (as you might expect with those snobby papers that charge $500 a month for their respective biases). We admit too to having pinged Technorati about a half-dozen times today to get its attention; but we know too well how the NEXT BLOG button works. Don't get us wrong; we're grateful for the hits, but we further wish that this could happen not just once in the proverbial blue moon, or when Technorati's servers deign fit to work.

Well, we think we've figured out a reason: pinging puts us atop the "Full List of Blogs", not that we should be there, but we'll take it for all the times the Tech refused to recognize our pings.

Posted 12:04 PM by Gene

It is too much to expect from a medium that's given us viruses, spyware, adware, dating services and porn that bloggers would ever be scrupulous about not plagiarizing. Laughable though it sounds perhaps bloggers should subscribe to a code of ethics that explicitly offers guidelines for quoting for others -- at the very minimum putting the quoted material in italics (or, as Jim Berkowitz does, highlighting it) and including either an integrated link or a link in the post; and always giving credit where cutting and pasting in full (something we try to avoid thanks to copyright concerns). Nor is it too much to expect other bloggers to make plagiarists persona non grata. There's already enough copying and groupthink in blogging.

P. S. As we have a bad habit of putting people's remarks in CAPS and BOLDFACE and adding rows of EXCLAMATION POINTS when they throw verbal tantrums we will from now on acknowledge our own part in the tirades with an "(Emphasis added)."

(Via IWantMedia.com)

Posted 11:22 AM by Gene

Magicians battle it out for world title

Last one to disappear wins!

Posted 11:14 AM by Gene

BREAKING NEWS!!!!!

Iranian president rejects U.N. nuke deadline

Like, break me.

Posted 10:09 AM by Gene

Let's shake Hef's hand:

Herpes infections frequent in adolescent girls

No, let's -- not.

Posted 9:20 AM by Gene

NINNY MEDVED comes to the rescue!

We hear you, Ninny. Calling your hero despicable does not hide the fact you still call WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!!!!!!! The Jesus Slasher Movie BRILLIANT. You shouldn't have it both ways, Ninny. But we've said it of news hacks, and it applies to you: somehow, YOU CAN.

Meanwhile, the RED-STATE SCORPION's favorite MONSIGNOR LAPIN is SILENT. He won't be, for long -- not when EVIL is being done to a GREAT MAN.

And gosh darnit, Michael "Author, Philosopher, Theologian" Novak's silent too. We're waiting!

P. S. OOPS:

People on the right and left tend to have two standards – one for us, another for them. Today, Gibson’s conservative defenders are scrambling to rationalize the actor’s ugliness. ("Well, he apologized, for God’s sake!") This makes us look like hypocrites – for a very good reason; when we adopt this expediency, we are hypocrites....

Gibson has embarrassed those who honestly defended him in 2004, myself included.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me TWICE....

Posted 9:11 AM by Gene

THE ZILLIONAIRES AT MOUNTAIN VIEW ARE EXPERIMENTING AGAIN!

Posted 9:04 AM by Gene

Now you've done it, NFL: we were hoping we could make fun of the finalists for the commissioner's job.

That's okay; we'll make fun of the winner in due course.

Posted 8:40 AM by Gene

Shucks, ESPNCorp has "pulled the plug" on Mel’s -- HOLOCAUST show. (Pffffffffffffffffft!)

When do the con-SER-va-tives scream -- PERSECUTION!!!!!?

(Via MediaBistro -- but why does it have to link to the snobs at Journals.com?)

Posted 6:50 AM by Gene

History's Greatest Ex-President continues Old Advisors' Home Week in the WaPost:

It is inarguable that Israel has a right to defend itself against attacks on its citizens, BUT....

We know, Jimmah, you never did really like them Jews.

Posted 6:46 AM by Gene

Joke of the Day in Philadelphia:

City holds a summit on gun violence

Posted 6:43 AM by Gene

Floyd's going to have to come up with a better defense -- or a better urine sample.

"Other sports" indeed.

Posted 6:33 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: A Castro runs the joint in fifty years.

"Our objective is to free the Cuban people," the president told WPLG. "That's our objective."

Sure, Dubya. How?

Posted 5:23 PM by Gene

What is this? Old Advisors' Home Week at the WaPost?

As I'm increasingly fed up with news hacks and bloggers, so I'm increasingly impatient with the whole damned Web. With overexposure to it you can reduce the world's concerns to seven story lines, much as with the output of Hollywood and the theatre; after a while you rue that you've said the same things on the same seven topics seven times seven times. Could the Web and its instant ennui-and-impatience making be at the heart of our miasmic distemper and the political tantrum throwing in general? And why can't the same exhaustion hit the Web and that has ruined the rest of our culture?

It doesn't help my morale to get five hits a day either -- and those with effort.

Posted 2:51 PM by Gene

The Wall Street Journals are plugging all the instant SUPERSTARS of YouTube, meaning after their 15 seconds of fame are up we'll never hear of them again.

(Via Slashdot, where it's drawn only 42 comments despite being posted this morning, proof even the geeks can smell it too)

P. S. Needless to say there's endless blather about IPOs and buyouts, meaning people are about to lose their shirts -- especially when they learn it's hard to monetize copyright infringement.

OR:

Have you watched a YouTube video lately? The resolution is 2002-quality. Grimey. Gross. Someone else could do better.

Not until we get desktop HD -- and when do you suppose THAT will happen?

Posted 2:07 PM by Gene

You mean someone had to RESIGN for spending $287,000 in public money for A PILE OF BRONZE TEACUPS?

Posted 1:59 PM by Gene

People who insist newspapers could have played their own Mighty Mouse by charging for content don't know the power of Web marketing. The Internet is so vastly superior to newspapers as an consumer-information medium it's leaving the print barons to choke on its exhaust.

Posted 11:52 AM by Gene

China's leaders are finding that the world's largest command economy no longer responds to their commands.

Growth is hurtling along at the fastest pace in a decade, defying official efforts to curb investment in unneeded factories and real-estate projects. The government's immediate concerns are that overheated growth will saddle China with excess capacity, create more asset bubbles, and increase friction with the U.S. and other trading partners.

``China's unbalanced growth model has now gone to excess and seems in danger of veering out of control,'' says Stephen Roach, chief global economist at Morgan Stanley in New York. ``The longer China's economic boom runs, the tougher it will be to avoid a more treacherous endgame.''

"Endgame"? Say, you don't think the Chinese could cause a depression, do you? NAAAAAAAAAAH.

Posted 10:07 AM by Gene

Sumner may cut The Son of God's tithe (er, the one who jumps on couches).

Maybe it's time to stop playing twenty-something roles, or jumping on couches.

Posted 8:27 AM by Gene

The blithering-idiot Babbitts were so busy building super-duper condos nobody needed that they didn't notice there was a glut, and now they're whining there's a glut, and guess who suffers? Not the people who can afford super-duper condos.

Why does every Godforsaken profession in America suffer from groupthink?

Posted 6:49 AM by Gene

People expect truthfulness from Web dating services?!?

Either the public's credulousness is at record levels or those ads really work.

Posted 6:42 AM by Gene

The Second Coming of Christ has driven drunk before.

If people haven't heard of TMZ.com, they have now.

Speaking of whom, Mr. "F*****g Jews, the Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world" has a development deal for a HOLOCAUST show with ESPNCorp Network.

PFFH-HH-HH!

P. S. from our favorite PR guy Rog:

As I reported last February, Gibson invested another $5 million tax-free into his Malibu church last year. With 70 or so members, Holy Family Church is designed to follow outdated Catholic doctrine that the Jews are responsible for killing Jesus Christ.

Gibson, I wrote, has never quite refuted his father's statements. In fact, an article I cited from the Pittsburgh Tribune Review revealed that Gibson is planning to fund a church similar to Holy Family in Mt. Pleasant Township, Pa., called St. Michael the Archangel. According to the article, Gibson was persuaded by his father to become involved and may have assisted in the purchase of an existing structure for a little over $315,000.

Explain THAT one, MS. PETER TRAVERS.

Posted 6:38 AM by Gene

And the Nobel Prize-Winning Adolescent is busy:

Tony Blair, who is on a trip to America, said today that he thought there was now a real chance of getting a UN resolution.

"It’s going to require a lot of work. There has been a lot of detailed discussions and negotiations throughout the night," he said, at the end of a hectic Sunday spent juggling public engagements and talking to other world leaders, including President Bush, Jacques Chirac, the President of France, and Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor.

Something bad will come out of this, and thank God it's still months or years away.

Posted 6:33 AM by Gene

USAOKAY!!!!!!!!!! crosses the line from "reporting" to advocacy. When will these idiots abandon their "unbiased" shtick and wear their prejudices on their sleeves?

Sunday's attack could prove as big a PUBLIC-RELATIONS DISASTER....

And ultimately that's what what gets NEWS HACKS upset -- not governing, not right or wrong, but PR. And this is the Lord God's statement from a rag that pioneered in NON-STOP SHOW-BIZ FLACKERY.

The Israelis can't resume their military operations soon enough, if only to stick it to the HACKS.

NOTE: GCI's at its lowest since 2000.

Posted 5:12 PM by Gene

"[S]o double the killer delete select all."

The Bugmeister writes poetry!

Posted 1:26 PM by Gene

Thank, er, god for our kind of evangelical! (Only Pinch capitalizes His name.)

Contents aside (the problem with religion isn't politics, but the lack of sense that goes with it) I am becoming rapidly fed up with news hacks. They go out of their way to seek people who agree with them. That the slaughter in Lebanon will stay with us for weeks is because hacks are looking for a hook for their beliefs. The same with SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS. Any time I turn to con-SER-va-tive ones my impatience boils over because they have exactly the same attitude. (I expect it from liberal bloggers as they're a subset of the hacks.) Why do people refuse to admit to their own shortcomings?

A reminder: NYT's closing price on Friday: $21.87. Its year low: $21.70. That was its lowest since 1997. What will stop PINCH'S TRUTH?

Posted 9:36 AM by Gene

U.N. SECURITY COUNCIL TO HOLD EMERGENCY SESSION ON MIDEAST CRISIS TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (CNN.com "breaking news" hed)

If I lived on the East Side I'd don a gas mask. Things will REEK.

Posted 9:28 AM by Gene

Nickelodeon to Kids: Go out and play

Us to SUMNER: Go fly a kite.

And you fly a kite too, ASSociated Press, for running another press release.

Posted 9:20 AM by Gene

Now Brent the Bootlicker wants in on the act. Haven't these clowns heard the phrase "too many cooks spoil the broth" -- and the broth's already spoiled?

If the Bootlickers and Piano-Bar Men shut up for all time the world would not miss their misjudgment.

Posted 9:19 AM by Gene

Hey Sen. Fatso Glub-Glub, did you really THINK Dubya was going to appoint HYPERLIBERALS?

Posted 9:11 AM by Gene

And speaking of wisdom (PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!), Mr. Mark gets to plug a movie and be patriotic at the same time! This story is full of unappetizing motives: PATRIOTIC GORE and MS. TRAVERS and the gang think it's THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER because it's CON-SER-VA-TIVE; the critics will love it because it's OLLY, and OLLY's EDGY, and -- this sort of thing is so larded over with politics and motives you get disgusted at the sight of it, however well-meaning the property. Most likely this will not do that well; people are just tired, and as the last 9-11 movie showed, they may not go to movies for castor oil.

To his credit, Olly's changed his mind, but we still believe public officials and celebrities are guilty until proven innocent.

Posted 9:00 AM by Gene

One-eighth of the whole population were colored slaves, not distributed generally over the Union, but localized in the southern part of it. These slaves constituted a peculiar and powerful interest. All knew that this interest was somehow the cause of the war. To strengthen, perpetuate, and extend this interest was the object for which the insurgents would rend the Union, even by war; while the Government claimed no right to do more than to restrict the territorial enlargement of it. Neither party expected for the war the magnitude or the duration which it has already attained. Neither anticipated that the cause of the conflict might cease with, or even before, the conflict itself should cease. Each looked for an easier triumph, and a result less fundamental and astounding. Both read the same Bible and pray to the same God, and each invoked His aid against the other. It may seem strange that any men should dare to ask a just God's assistance in wringing their bread from the sweat of other men's faces, but let us judge not, that we be not judged. The prayers of both could not be answered. That of neither has been answered fully. The Almighty has His own purposes. "Woe unto the world because of offenses; for it must needs be that offenses come, but woe to that man by whom the offense cometh." If we shall suppose that American slavery is one of those offenses which, in the providence of God, must needs come, but which, having continued through His appointed time, He now wills to remove, and that He gives to both North and South this terrible war as the woe due to those by whom the offense came, shall we discern therein any departure from those divine attributes which the believers in a living God always ascribe to Him? Fondly do we hope, fervently do we pray, that this mighty scourge of war may speedily pass away. Yet, if God wills that it continue until all the wealth piled by the bondsman's two hundred and fifty years of unrequited toil shall be sunk, and until every drop of blood drawn with the lash shall be paid by another drawn with the sword, as was said three thousand years ago, so still it must be said "the judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether."

One wishes the braying loudmouths like PILLHEAD and THE OMNIPOTENT KOS had an ounce of Lincoln's wisdom and humility, for with their malevolent desires they could plunge us into an abyss that would make the Civil War a birthday party.

Posted 8:57 AM by Gene

They're laughing in Tehran -- and at Turtle Bay.

Hed of the Day:

What we can't show from the Mideast (CNN.com Java video link)

We know what you can't show, and why -- for reasons that have nothing to do with newsworthiness, or propriety.