THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Saturday, October 22, 2005
The conventional wisdom in Washington is that no one is irreplaceable. But in my view, Rove is.
How do you replace the President of the United States?
How do you replace the President of the United States?
EXCITING NEWS from our FAVORITE BUS-'N'-TRUCK STOP, the MERRIAM THEATER: Coming up on November 1 is THE FLYING KEYBOARD CLONKS OPRAH -- I mean, TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE! Sadly Hal Linden won't be in it due to a family illness, but we DO get HAROLD GOULD! And it's still brought to you by DODGE, PECO and HILTON!
And three weeks later, AN ORCHESTRA PLAYS LIVE VIDEO-GAME MUSIC -- TO PROJECTIONS!!!!! No word on any sponsorships.
I've said Kiss Me, Kate opened there in tryouts. So did Annie Get Your Gun. Irving Berlin and Ethel Merman must be rolling in their graves.
P. S. Do DODGE, PECO and HILTON get to run commercials during the play? And does THE FLYING KEYBOARD get a cut?
And three weeks later, AN ORCHESTRA PLAYS LIVE VIDEO-GAME MUSIC -- TO PROJECTIONS!!!!! No word on any sponsorships.
I've said Kiss Me, Kate opened there in tryouts. So did Annie Get Your Gun. Irving Berlin and Ethel Merman must be rolling in their graves.
P. S. Do DODGE, PECO and HILTON get to run commercials during the play? And does THE FLYING KEYBOARD get a cut?
We're transitioning from a single business model, which was subscription-based, to a dual-revenue model. We want to hang onto the subscription business, because that's highly profitable and generates a lot of revenue. But we're also transitioning to a portal business, which is going to be built around the advertising, like Yahoo or Google.
TRANSLATION: Gerry, WHY did you merge with AOL?
TRANSLATION: Gerry, WHY did you merge with AOL?
YOU KNOW someone's made a huge difference in the world when the Rev. Jesse Jackson gives her eulogy, and Al Gore is on hand to call her a "four-star general in the army of the righteous."
A KnightRidderite may have written this with tears in his/her/its eyes, but the newly-deceased victim of the eulogy comes across in ONE GRAF as a PC BUFFOON, and this is truly SPEAKING ILL OF THE DEAD, however well-intended.
The question is not IF our DAILY NOOZ folds. The question is WHEN.
A KnightRidderite may have written this with tears in his/her/its eyes, but the newly-deceased victim of the eulogy comes across in ONE GRAF as a PC BUFFOON, and this is truly SPEAKING ILL OF THE DEAD, however well-intended.
The question is not IF our DAILY NOOZ folds. The question is WHEN.
THREE CHEERS FOR THE RED, WHITE AND BLUE:
``The nine categories that remain unchanged in 2006 have been relatively stable over the last three years,'' Red Sox team president and CEO Larry Lucchino said. ``It is important that we remember the need for baseball to remain affordable for the families of New England.''
You running for office, Larry?
THE BOX OFFICE IS DOOMED!!!!!
And Lee's numbers are usually slightly higher than Mojo's. This is flat out DISASTER, HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
Hey WORLD SAVER! Better cash in some more of your eBay stock! You'll NEED IT!
Good night, ST. EDWARD.
And Lee's numbers are usually slightly higher than Mojo's. This is flat out DISASTER, HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
Hey WORLD SAVER! Better cash in some more of your eBay stock! You'll NEED IT!
Good night, ST. EDWARD.
Oh, before we get too excited over the zillions of ad dollars flowing into the Web, we might note the advertisers are getting more annoying in the ways they inflict them on you: witness British Airways's irritating delayed pop-ups, or the ads with the instant audio-on that you have to shut off yourself. There will be other ways, as we would guess from an industry that helped finance SPYWARE.
I'd take advertising on my blog if I ever merited it (fat chance), but in ways as unirritating as possible -- no pop-ups, and no other irksome gadgets.
I'd take advertising on my blog if I ever merited it (fat chance), but in ways as unirritating as possible -- no pop-ups, and no other irksome gadgets.
Which raises another question I'd like to ask of the hacks: What is the retail value of all your press passes to sporting events and concerts? It's at LEAST in the tens of millions. What law entitles you to them? Why is getting a nice free seat your Constitutional right?
I'd just as soon see fans who PAY for their seats write THEIR opinions in a paper. At least THEY'RE not ENTITLED.
I'd just as soon see fans who PAY for their seats write THEIR opinions in a paper. At least THEY'RE not ENTITLED.
RENDELLISM AT WORK IN NORTH CAROLINA:
Victor "Chili Man" Werany voted against an uptown arena in 2001. Standing behind his hot dog cart on Trade Street, he swore to never set foot inside the arena.
"I'll stand here and sell hot dogs," he said. "The voters said no, and it got built anyway. It was our taxpayers' money that could've gone to roads, could have gone to schools. Could have gone anywhere."
But hey, it did go anywhere -- it went to a pleasure palace where a KnightRidderite could groove with the STONES!
WHERE'S THAT ANGRY REPORTING YOU FOLKS PROMISED?
Ticket prices have been a point of controversy already. For Bobcats games, it'll cost $275 a ticket to sit in the first five rows, and no less than $40 a ticket to sit in the lower bowl. Upper deck seats are as low as $15, and Tapscott assures that there are no bad seats in the house. But even though the top row is a lot closer than the worst seat in the Charlotte Coliseum, it's still the nosebleed section.
The cheapest ticket to last night's concert cost $95.
NO PROBLEM -- if you're a NEWS HACK.
TEPID RESPONSE: Anonymously sourced reports in the local media have claimed tickets are selling slowly; the arena also lacks a naming rights sponsor and will open as Charlotte Bobcats Arena.
SEEKING PATIENCE: The team says it needs time to let the public see how great the new building is; some residents remain angry that the arena was built despite citizens' vote against such a facility for the now-departed NBA Hornets.
GOOD LUCK! (Pffh-hh-hh!)
Victor "Chili Man" Werany voted against an uptown arena in 2001. Standing behind his hot dog cart on Trade Street, he swore to never set foot inside the arena.
"I'll stand here and sell hot dogs," he said. "The voters said no, and it got built anyway. It was our taxpayers' money that could've gone to roads, could have gone to schools. Could have gone anywhere."
But hey, it did go anywhere -- it went to a pleasure palace where a KnightRidderite could groove with the STONES!
WHERE'S THAT ANGRY REPORTING YOU FOLKS PROMISED?
Ticket prices have been a point of controversy already. For Bobcats games, it'll cost $275 a ticket to sit in the first five rows, and no less than $40 a ticket to sit in the lower bowl. Upper deck seats are as low as $15, and Tapscott assures that there are no bad seats in the house. But even though the top row is a lot closer than the worst seat in the Charlotte Coliseum, it's still the nosebleed section.
The cheapest ticket to last night's concert cost $95.
NO PROBLEM -- if you're a NEWS HACK.
TEPID RESPONSE: Anonymously sourced reports in the local media have claimed tickets are selling slowly; the arena also lacks a naming rights sponsor and will open as Charlotte Bobcats Arena.
SEEKING PATIENCE: The team says it needs time to let the public see how great the new building is; some residents remain angry that the arena was built despite citizens' vote against such a facility for the now-departed NBA Hornets.
GOOD LUCK! (Pffh-hh-hh!)
Somewhere, in another center of the universe...
Former Australian captain Steve Waugh says star leg spinner Shane Warne is insecure, hits out at Ian Chappell and takes aim at the national selectors in his keenly awaited autobiography.
Prime Minister John Howard will launch Waugh's Out Of My Comfort Zone in Sydney on Sunday with publishers Penguin reportedly paying $1.3 million in the biggest advance paid for an Australian book.
Waugh, who retired as Australian skipper in January last year after 168 Test matches and 10,927 runs, confirms reports from the 1999 World Cup that Warne had problems with his captaincy.
Waugh also reveals Warne, Test cricket's leading wicket-taker, to be a fierce but insecure competitor.
The next time we get into a temper tantrum over something we might remember a story like this, which may as well have run in Greek or Swahili, and realize most of what we rant over isn't worth the proverbial hill of beans.
Former Australian captain Steve Waugh says star leg spinner Shane Warne is insecure, hits out at Ian Chappell and takes aim at the national selectors in his keenly awaited autobiography.
Prime Minister John Howard will launch Waugh's Out Of My Comfort Zone in Sydney on Sunday with publishers Penguin reportedly paying $1.3 million in the biggest advance paid for an Australian book.
Waugh, who retired as Australian skipper in January last year after 168 Test matches and 10,927 runs, confirms reports from the 1999 World Cup that Warne had problems with his captaincy.
Waugh also reveals Warne, Test cricket's leading wicket-taker, to be a fierce but insecure competitor.
The next time we get into a temper tantrum over something we might remember a story like this, which may as well have run in Greek or Swahili, and realize most of what we rant over isn't worth the proverbial hill of beans.
TIMMMMMMMMMBERRRR!(?) [Jonah Goldberg ]
Insiders see hint of Miers pullout -- Wash Times.
Posted at 07:54 AM
Con-SER-va-tives busily, mightily pump the last atoms of oxygen from their hermetically-sealed chamber.
Insiders see hint of Miers pullout -- Wash Times.
Posted at 07:54 AM
Con-SER-va-tives busily, mightily pump the last atoms of oxygen from their hermetically-sealed chamber.
THE BUBBLE IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The run-up has also benefited smaller investors such as computer software programmer Dave Winer, who bought about $10,000 worth of shares in Google's IPO last year at $85.
"I didn't get in on Apple and Microsoft, so I felt like I should get in on this one," Winer said. "My investment may eventually be worth $40 million."
Let's calculate. This clown thinks he can reap a return on his investment in G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE of 4,000 TIMES. (This assumes he hasn't bought any further stock.) At that rate the whole company would have a market cap of $100 TRILLION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's nearly 300 GE BANCORPS or 400 BILL BUGDOMS! IT'S SEVEN TIMES THE TOTAL MARKET CAP OF THE NYSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A MIGHTILY APPRECIATING NEUHARTHI$M OF THE WEEK AWARD TO ZACHERY!! HEY ZACH! GET A JOB AT CNBC! THEY NEED YOU!!!!! WE NEED YOU!!!!!
P. S. We just realized: The last six days we've given out FIVE NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARDS -- and a NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD! At this EXCELLENT RATE we may have to give out NEUHARTHISM OF THE HOUR AWARDS! Go to it, NEWS HACKS!
(Corrected to reflect the clown's return thus far on his money.)
The run-up has also benefited smaller investors such as computer software programmer Dave Winer, who bought about $10,000 worth of shares in Google's IPO last year at $85.
"I didn't get in on Apple and Microsoft, so I felt like I should get in on this one," Winer said. "My investment may eventually be worth $40 million."
Let's calculate. This clown thinks he can reap a return on his investment in G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE of 4,000 TIMES. (This assumes he hasn't bought any further stock.) At that rate the whole company would have a market cap of $100 TRILLION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's nearly 300 GE BANCORPS or 400 BILL BUGDOMS! IT'S SEVEN TIMES THE TOTAL MARKET CAP OF THE NYSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A MIGHTILY APPRECIATING NEUHARTHI$M OF THE WEEK AWARD TO ZACHERY!! HEY ZACH! GET A JOB AT CNBC! THEY NEED YOU!!!!! WE NEED YOU!!!!!
P. S. We just realized: The last six days we've given out FIVE NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARDS -- and a NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD! At this EXCELLENT RATE we may have to give out NEUHARTHISM OF THE HOUR AWARDS! Go to it, NEWS HACKS!
(Corrected to reflect the clown's return thus far on his money.)
MR. MARK has his GRIMY FINGER on the NEWS ZEITGEIST:
• Will Colbert’s new spin on fake news succeed?
• ‘Lawrence of Arabia’ returns to relevance
• Kevin Bacon: Movie bombs can be a boon
These are three of the top four stories listed below his RAG's logo on the MESS's home page. And these clowns expect us to take them seriously? Where's all this ANGRY REPORTING you promised us?
• Will Colbert’s new spin on fake news succeed?
• ‘Lawrence of Arabia’ returns to relevance
• Kevin Bacon: Movie bombs can be a boon
These are three of the top four stories listed below his RAG's logo on the MESS's home page. And these clowns expect us to take them seriously? Where's all this ANGRY REPORTING you promised us?
OUR RELIGION'S BETTER THAN YOUR RELIGION!
IS NOT!
IS SO!
IS NOT!
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!
BOOM!! BOOM!! BOOM!!
How many people have died in the name of God?
IS NOT!
IS SO!
IS NOT!
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!
BOOM!! BOOM!! BOOM!!
How many people have died in the name of God?
Friday, October 21, 2005
A billion-dollar deal for a 68-cent stock and it didn't go up?
I think when we try to get money back from a glorified whorehouse we're in TROUBLE.
Pardon -- 64 cents. It lost four cents today.
P. S. It was a CNBC SPECIAL at $22.
I think when we try to get money back from a glorified whorehouse we're in TROUBLE.
Pardon -- 64 cents. It lost four cents today.
P. S. It was a CNBC SPECIAL at $22.
Nowadays we don't call an "entertainment" bad. We call it "experimental" -- or better still, "CULT."
TIME TO UPDATE THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY AGAIN.
TOO LATE! Ben found it.
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO KEN ANYWAY!
TIME TO UPDATE THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY AGAIN.
TOO LATE! Ben found it.
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO KEN ANYWAY!
Tsk tsk tsk, no orange thingies in MOST E-MAILED! Again! What to do, what to do?
The latest from our HEROIC EBAY GREEDMEISTER:
It's all too easy to make fun of Hollywood actresses for taking on awards-baiting roles, just as it's easy to dismiss a film like "North Country" because, as a young male friend more or less suggested, our screens are overflowing with stories about working-class women sticking it to the Man.
And not just women sticking it to the man, we might say.
When the heck does He change His studio's name to MOSFILM?
Oh, it's still used.
It's all too easy to make fun of Hollywood actresses for taking on awards-baiting roles, just as it's easy to dismiss a film like "North Country" because, as a young male friend more or less suggested, our screens are overflowing with stories about working-class women sticking it to the Man.
And not just women sticking it to the man, we might say.
When the heck does He change His studio's name to MOSFILM?
Oh, it's still used.
Conservative Group to Release Film Criticizing Ann Coulter
Some Web browsing reveals Citizens for Principled Conservatism is a one-man crank band. But hey, he may be a CONSERVATIVE SOB, but he's OUR SOB.
When will people realize ANN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is just a Modo of the right?
Modo? Who's MODO?
Some Web browsing reveals Citizens for Principled Conservatism is a one-man crank band. But hey, he may be a CONSERVATIVE SOB, but he's OUR SOB.
When will people realize ANN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is just a Modo of the right?
Modo? Who's MODO?
G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE = 3.09 CATERPILLARS.
WHY?
WHY?
LIBERAL ELITES DESTROYED THE BRITISH EMPIRE!!!!!
Now if only those COMMIES in AMERICA hadn't spoken REVOLUTION....
Now if only those COMMIES in AMERICA hadn't spoken REVOLUTION....
George Lucas Donates $1M for MLK Memorial
Is Mr. AudioAnimaTronics about to make -- SERIOUS MOVIES?
Luke Spielberg, The General, DR. EVIL....
I HAVE A NIGHTMARE!
Is Mr. AudioAnimaTronics about to make -- SERIOUS MOVIES?
Luke Spielberg, The General, DR. EVIL....
I HAVE A NIGHTMARE!
“It’s still an incredibly powerful medium and you walk away from it at your peril, but conventional use of TV by advertisers is on the way out.”
We've heard this song MANY times before. There's no reason, however, advertisers can't continue shredding money on junk television AND finance the fantasies of millions of JIM CRAMERS. That's the best of TWO worlds!
We've heard this song MANY times before. There's no reason, however, advertisers can't continue shredding money on junk television AND finance the fantasies of millions of JIM CRAMERS. That's the best of TWO worlds!
"If you go to a high school or college campus and ask people about search, many of them don't know there is an alternative to Google."
People are creatures of habit, and in that circumstance there is no alternative.
JIMMY!!!!! THE BUBBLE'S BACK!!!!! YOWZAH!!!!!!!!!!
People are creatures of habit, and in that circumstance there is no alternative.
JIMMY!!!!! THE BUBBLE'S BACK!!!!! YOWZAH!!!!!!!!!!
Why, then, is Cramer so in-your-face? In the aftermath of New York Attorney General Eliot Spitzer's attacks on Wall Street research, analysts hide behind weaselly ratings such as "In-Line" and "Equal Weight," and scores of stocks are no longer covered. "The analysts," Cramer pronounces, taking a break from another drug-pump tantrum, "they are colorless and odorless and sanitized and fear Spitzer to the point of death." Even CNBC, he complains, is "terribly gun-shy about being anything but 'corporate crime watch' when people still need to make money."
Unfortunately, unlike BusinessWeek (DilbertSpell), we remember back during the CNBC BUBBLE the network was loaded with all sorts of prognosticators predicting permanent upward wealth. The NASDAQ has yet to recover, and Jim Cramer will be forgotten long after he's finally held in scorn for helping bankrupt some of his zany fans.
Does anyone remember another FNN alumnus -- DAN DORFMAN?
P. S. The guy worked for Alan Dershowitz. FIGURES.
Unfortunately, unlike BusinessWeek (DilbertSpell), we remember back during the CNBC BUBBLE the network was loaded with all sorts of prognosticators predicting permanent upward wealth. The NASDAQ has yet to recover, and Jim Cramer will be forgotten long after he's finally held in scorn for helping bankrupt some of his zany fans.
Does anyone remember another FNN alumnus -- DAN DORFMAN?
P. S. The guy worked for Alan Dershowitz. FIGURES.
Buffett is also known to wear sweat pants and sweat shirts in his spare time. He is a longtime fan of hamburgers, french fries and Cherry Cokes, and enjoys bridge and playing the ukulele.
This morning I worked myself into a bad mood thinking of Ted Field, the notorious junk-film and recorded-sound mogul. As Field is so superior to the slime that has patronized his bird droppings he never speaks to the press, but in his prime he trotted out someone to placate the HACKS, someone who insisted he was Field's "friend" but who was no doubt just a glorified PR officer. The hacks got all their information on this sleazeball from this "friend," and were so overcome with joy they never asked for another direct interview. We've a sneaky hunch this guy may have been an ACT. So when some STENOGRAPHER like HILLEL croons of sweat pants and sweat shirts, hamburgers, french fries and Cherry Cokes, bridge and ukuleles, we must think it pure unmitigated BS, and we'll have to wait until well after ST. WARREN dies to find out anything approaching the truth.
And it's not even HIS book, it's some hack named Schroeder's. (No, not THAT Schroeder.)
P. S. EXCELLENCE IN CUTTING AND PASTING FROM NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A bidding war for an authorized biography of the "ideas" of billionaire Warren Buffett has been won by the Bantam Dell Publishing Group, a division of Random House Inc.
Tentatively titled "The Snowball: How Warren Buffett Collected Friends, Wisdom and Wealth," the book is scheduled to come out in 2008. Several publishers were interested and a representative close to the deal said it was worth more than $7 million, although not as much as the reported $10 million to $12 million for former President Clinton ‘s "My Life." Former General Electric Co. CEO Jack Welch reportedly got $7.1 million for his best seller, "Jack: Straight From the Gut."
"Our deal is with her. She is the author," Bantam president and publisher Irwyn Applebaum told The Associated Press Wednesday through spokeswoman Barbara Burg.
ST. WARREN'S CHANGED SEXES! STOP THE PRESSES!!!!!
IDIOTS.
This morning I worked myself into a bad mood thinking of Ted Field, the notorious junk-film and recorded-sound mogul. As Field is so superior to the slime that has patronized his bird droppings he never speaks to the press, but in his prime he trotted out someone to placate the HACKS, someone who insisted he was Field's "friend" but who was no doubt just a glorified PR officer. The hacks got all their information on this sleazeball from this "friend," and were so overcome with joy they never asked for another direct interview. We've a sneaky hunch this guy may have been an ACT. So when some STENOGRAPHER like HILLEL croons of sweat pants and sweat shirts, hamburgers, french fries and Cherry Cokes, bridge and ukuleles, we must think it pure unmitigated BS, and we'll have to wait until well after ST. WARREN dies to find out anything approaching the truth.
And it's not even HIS book, it's some hack named Schroeder's. (No, not THAT Schroeder.)
P. S. EXCELLENCE IN CUTTING AND PASTING FROM NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A bidding war for an authorized biography of the "ideas" of billionaire Warren Buffett has been won by the Bantam Dell Publishing Group, a division of Random House Inc.
Tentatively titled "The Snowball: How Warren Buffett Collected Friends, Wisdom and Wealth," the book is scheduled to come out in 2008. Several publishers were interested and a representative close to the deal said it was worth more than $7 million, although not as much as the reported $10 million to $12 million for former President Clinton ‘s "My Life." Former General Electric Co. CEO Jack Welch reportedly got $7.1 million for his best seller, "Jack: Straight From the Gut."
"Our deal is with her. She is the author," Bantam president and publisher Irwyn Applebaum told The Associated Press Wednesday through spokeswoman Barbara Burg.
ST. WARREN'S CHANGED SEXES! STOP THE PRESSES!!!!!
IDIOTS.
In an Aug. 31 e-mail that Bahamonde sent a co-worker, his frustration with Brown burst through.
Bahamonde had just learned, as he huddled in New Orleans' Superdome with evacuees, that Brown's press secretary was fretting about blocking out time for the director to eat dinner at one of Baton Rouge's busy restaurants that night.
"OH MY GOD!!!!!!!" Bahamonde messaged the co-worker. "I just ate an MRE" — military rations — "and crapped in the hallway of the Superdome along with 30,000 other close friends so I understand her concern about busy restaurants."
You must wonder how much the insularity of AMERICA'S EFFETE PRIVILIGED CLASS contributed to THIS botch.
Bahamonde had just learned, as he huddled in New Orleans' Superdome with evacuees, that Brown's press secretary was fretting about blocking out time for the director to eat dinner at one of Baton Rouge's busy restaurants that night.
"OH MY GOD!!!!!!!" Bahamonde messaged the co-worker. "I just ate an MRE" — military rations — "and crapped in the hallway of the Superdome along with 30,000 other close friends so I understand her concern about busy restaurants."
You must wonder how much the insularity of AMERICA'S EFFETE PRIVILIGED CLASS contributed to THIS botch.
"America's business, professional, intellectual, and academic elites," writes Samuel Huntington in his 2004 book Who Are We? have "attitudes and behavior [that] contrast with the overwhelming patriotism and nationalistic identification with their country of the American public. . . . They abandon commitment to their nation and their fellow citizens and argue the moral superiority of identifying with humanity at large." He believes that this gap between transnational elites and the patriotic public is growing. Huntington knows whereof he speaks: He's been at Harvard for more than half a century.
ENRON in the same boat as SHOW-BIZ, SNIDELY WHIPLASH in the same house as INTOLERANT PROFESSORS, and all hating the public. That does makes sense.
I think this also explains why I distrust even the HACKS' field reporting from Iraq; they're SUPERIOR SCIENTISTS examining a breed of bugs who've invaded an alien landscape. It is not enough to be detached from the world; you must be detached and CYNICALLY SNOBBY about it.
ENRON in the same boat as SHOW-BIZ, SNIDELY WHIPLASH in the same house as INTOLERANT PROFESSORS, and all hating the public. That does makes sense.
I think this also explains why I distrust even the HACKS' field reporting from Iraq; they're SUPERIOR SCIENTISTS examining a breed of bugs who've invaded an alien landscape. It is not enough to be detached from the world; you must be detached and CYNICALLY SNOBBY about it.
"It's an R-rated movie, and it's a sci-fi horror movie, and those have capped audiences," said one exec, who declined to be named. "It's not a four-quadrant film."
While we dispute this courageous exec's opinion on the first point -- THE CONSPIRACY has ways -- we do not doubt the biz would RATHER BE RIGHT than make movies with broad appeal, and in any case it stopped making movies for ADULTS a long time ago, as opposed to violent movies for kids.
And that includes that EBAY GREEDMEISTER who merely makes movies for ADULT PYGMIES.
While we dispute this courageous exec's opinion on the first point -- THE CONSPIRACY has ways -- we do not doubt the biz would RATHER BE RIGHT than make movies with broad appeal, and in any case it stopped making movies for ADULTS a long time ago, as opposed to violent movies for kids.
And that includes that EBAY GREEDMEISTER who merely makes movies for ADULT PYGMIES.
What was going through somebody's mind when he typed this home-page hed...
Frozen WW II airman thawing
...assuming he had any?
Frozen WW II airman thawing
...assuming he had any?
Thursday, October 20, 2005
If NEWS HACKS devoted themselves as religiously to good reporting as they do to PLUGS WITH PUNCHLINES....
THEY WOULDN'T BE NEWS HACKS.
THEY WOULDN'T BE NEWS HACKS.
Whatever you think of Bill Ford, it wouldn't hurt for more CEOs to go before the cameras and plug their products. It would give big companies a human face, it would show their managements stand behind what they sell, and it might even discourage them from advertising indiscriminately, saving their best shots for the boss.
THE EXPLOSION OF ANGRY REPORTING GROWS EVER QUIETER:
Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn were photographed kissing, possibly confirming that their relationship has grown romantic. People magazine published the photos, taken last week in Chicago, in its October 31 issue, on newsstands Friday. (See People magazine story)
Do I smell a PLUG and a CIRCULATION GOTCHA? NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO PEOPLE WARNER!
Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn were photographed kissing, possibly confirming that their relationship has grown romantic. People magazine published the photos, taken last week in Chicago, in its October 31 issue, on newsstands Friday. (See People magazine story)
Do I smell a PLUG and a CIRCULATION GOTCHA? NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO PEOPLE WARNER!
Perhaps the last unenhanced human to make a significant contribution in the field of mathematics has already been born. In twenty years, the tenure track at top university mathematics departments may consist entirely of people who depend on drugs, direct neural-computer connections, genetic modification, or a combination of all three in order to achieve high-level performance.
MUSTAPHA MOND WORKS AT TECH CENTRAL STATION.
MUSTAPHA MOND WORKS AT TECH CENTRAL STATION.
People once made death threats against Johnny Carson. Today, they'd write BLOGS.
What hath God wrought!
What hath God wrought!
BUGGY NEWS IN HIGH-TECH:
Software giant Microsoft Corp. announced a seven-figure sponsorship deal with the owners of London's iconic Wembley Stadium Thursday.
The five-year deal makes Microsoft the stadium's first "founding partner," a title the soccer and entertainment stadium is reserving for only its largest sponsors and which comes loaded with perks.
Wembley will be wired up with the latest technology from Microsoft as it enters the final stages of its 757 million pound (US$1.3 billion; euro1.1 billion) rebuild.
How long before everything goes on the fritz?
Software giant Microsoft Corp. announced a seven-figure sponsorship deal with the owners of London's iconic Wembley Stadium Thursday.
The five-year deal makes Microsoft the stadium's first "founding partner," a title the soccer and entertainment stadium is reserving for only its largest sponsors and which comes loaded with perks.
Wembley will be wired up with the latest technology from Microsoft as it enters the final stages of its 757 million pound (US$1.3 billion; euro1.1 billion) rebuild.
How long before everything goes on the fritz?
"There are many worse crimes that Saddam committed. But I am an Arab, and as an Arab, I hope for revenge. I hope they give him justice for all the crimes he has committed."
We too want justice, but perhaps a reason the Arab world's in trouble is because it's always seeking revenge.
We too want justice, but perhaps a reason the Arab world's in trouble is because it's always seeking revenge.
And as THE GREATEST SHOW IN COMEDY HISTORY enters its THIRTY-FIRST YEAR (UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH), a THOUGHT OCCURS TO SOMEONE:
'MAN, even I could have written a better sketch than that." Who among us has not entertained this thought when watching "Saturday Night Live" lately?
'MAN, even I could have written a better sketch than that." Who among us has not entertained this thought when watching "Saturday Night Live" lately?
Another EARTHQUAKE in the AD BIZ:
Weeks after a public address in which he called female creative directors "crap," WPP Group's worldwide creative director, Neil French, is leaving the holding company, according to executives familiar with the matter....
Mr. French's remarks came at a $125-a-plate dinner earlier this month. He was reported to have said, "Women don't make it to the top because they don't deserve to. They're crap."
This is what THE AMERICAN SOCIETY OF WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS "BUYS" with OUR MONEY.
Weeks after a public address in which he called female creative directors "crap," WPP Group's worldwide creative director, Neil French, is leaving the holding company, according to executives familiar with the matter....
Mr. French's remarks came at a $125-a-plate dinner earlier this month. He was reported to have said, "Women don't make it to the top because they don't deserve to. They're crap."
This is what THE AMERICAN SOCIETY OF WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS "BUYS" with OUR MONEY.
We don't care if your rag wins 5,000 AWARDS, Mr. Mark, but we (and we suspect MOST people) will instinctively avoid ANY story that begins with WORDS LIKE THESE:
The lengthy account by New York Times reporter Judy Miller about her grand jury testimony in the CIA leak case....
The lengthy account by New York Times reporter Judy Miller about her grand jury testimony in the CIA leak case....
Yep, TIMESREJECT HAS come to radio.
And in news of the SURGING DEMAND for LIBERAL TALKERS:
Air America, the liberal talk network carried on WWRC-AM (1260), went from bad to nonexistent. After WWRC recorded a mere fraction of a rating point in the spring with syndicated shows from the likes of lefty talkers Al Franken, Janeane Garofalo and Stephanie Miller, Arbitron couldn't detect a measurable listenership for the station this time around.
Pffh-hh-hh!
And in news of the SURGING DEMAND for LIBERAL TALKERS:
Air America, the liberal talk network carried on WWRC-AM (1260), went from bad to nonexistent. After WWRC recorded a mere fraction of a rating point in the spring with syndicated shows from the likes of lefty talkers Al Franken, Janeane Garofalo and Stephanie Miller, Arbitron couldn't detect a measurable listenership for the station this time around.
Pffh-hh-hh!
"I consider ourselves evangelical, too," Mr. Buford said, "but for a different market segment."
Yes, for people who go to "church" so they don't have to.
These superliberal social clubs have fallen into a deadly trap: they use advertising because their product can't sell itself.
In 160 test churches, first-time attendance rose 14 percent in the denomination and overall worship attendance rose by 6 percent.
Pitiful. Who was measuring attendance? Did they station little old ladies with counters at the doors? And what about at the franchises they didn't "test"? Here's another deadly trap the social clubs have fallen into: to invent statistics to justify their advertising.
The Episcopal Diocese of Washington is spending $9,000 for the theater ads that appear several times before the start of a movie. Images direct viewers to WeWelcomeYou.org, a diocesan Web site that includes information on various churches, links to their sites, articles about worshipping in an Episcopal church and a short on-line movie about the diocese.
One ad shows a man wearing a dunce cap in a curled-up position atop a question mark beneath a headline: "Because Having Questions is not [SIC] a Sin."
How can an owner of social clubs talk of sin when it's eliminated it from the premises?
No, I forgot: there IS a sin in Episcopal social clubs: investing in ISRAEL.
Yes, for people who go to "church" so they don't have to.
These superliberal social clubs have fallen into a deadly trap: they use advertising because their product can't sell itself.
In 160 test churches, first-time attendance rose 14 percent in the denomination and overall worship attendance rose by 6 percent.
Pitiful. Who was measuring attendance? Did they station little old ladies with counters at the doors? And what about at the franchises they didn't "test"? Here's another deadly trap the social clubs have fallen into: to invent statistics to justify their advertising.
The Episcopal Diocese of Washington is spending $9,000 for the theater ads that appear several times before the start of a movie. Images direct viewers to WeWelcomeYou.org, a diocesan Web site that includes information on various churches, links to their sites, articles about worshipping in an Episcopal church and a short on-line movie about the diocese.
One ad shows a man wearing a dunce cap in a curled-up position atop a question mark beneath a headline: "Because Having Questions is not [SIC] a Sin."
How can an owner of social clubs talk of sin when it's eliminated it from the premises?
No, I forgot: there IS a sin in Episcopal social clubs: investing in ISRAEL.
THE VIACON NETWORK NEWS BOOK STORE...er, 60 MINUTES is open for business again, selling MJ's admission that he gambled too much.
One good thing does come out of this sales pitch:
He also addressed critics who expected him to be more political and outspoken.
"It's heavy duty to try to do everything and please everybody," he said. "My job was to go out there and play the game of basketball as best I can."
At least we can say MJ never made an INTENTIONAL ass of himself.
One good thing does come out of this sales pitch:
He also addressed critics who expected him to be more political and outspoken.
"It's heavy duty to try to do everything and please everybody," he said. "My job was to go out there and play the game of basketball as best I can."
At least we can say MJ never made an INTENTIONAL ass of himself.
Astros vs. White Sox zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ....
And most of the post-season has been one sided. Another EXCITING Series awaits.
Then again with two boring clubs it might be close.
And most of the post-season has been one sided. Another EXCITING Series awaits.
Then again with two boring clubs it might be close.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
And in MARKETINGSTANDARD -- er, BOOKSTANDARD.COM, the PLAYBILL OF THE LITERARY BIZ, these OUTSTANDING DEVELOPMENTS:
Lemony Snicket Launches Book Tour of the Future
Sinatra Book Celebrates, in Time for His 90th Birthday, His Life After Sammy Davis Jr., Dean Martin, Peter Lawford, Joey Bishop and All Things Rat Pack
HarperCollins Swoops on Hot Male Nanny Novel
Wouldn't it be better if our schools didn't teach kids how to read as a matter of PRINCIPLE?
Lemony Snicket Launches Book Tour of the Future
Sinatra Book Celebrates, in Time for His 90th Birthday, His Life After Sammy Davis Jr., Dean Martin, Peter Lawford, Joey Bishop and All Things Rat Pack
HarperCollins Swoops on Hot Male Nanny Novel
Wouldn't it be better if our schools didn't teach kids how to read as a matter of PRINCIPLE?
This story proves con-SER-va-tives may almost have a point when it comes to public transportation. If it isn't about machine politics, it's about money, and if it isn't money, it's about incompetence.
SQUIB OF THE DAY:
DeLay warrant issued Arrest order a formality in Texas case.
As any one of the three people who follow my blog know I cannot STAND SNIDELY WHIPLASH. But a story like this, properly SPUN, can make it appear thousands of police officers trailing doberman pinschers are scouring every last corner of America pursuing this EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL man. Indeed stories like this are propelled by spin, and ONLY by spin.
DeLay warrant issued Arrest order a formality in Texas case.
As any one of the three people who follow my blog know I cannot STAND SNIDELY WHIPLASH. But a story like this, properly SPUN, can make it appear thousands of police officers trailing doberman pinschers are scouring every last corner of America pursuing this EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL man. Indeed stories like this are propelled by spin, and ONLY by spin.
Shucks, eBay's profit rose, but the shares tanked after hours because the greater-fool traders want 100% growth every year.
G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE is NEXT!
G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE is NEXT!
Somebody woke up Melvin Laird (Melvin WHO?) and told him to make NEWS HACKS HAPPY.
Nine hits NOW....
And thanks for YOUR contribution to our TREMENDOUS VICTORY in VIETNAM!
And how could WE not have been awakened the other day by the tremendous CW sound of SKNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNX?
Nine hits NOW....
And thanks for YOUR contribution to our TREMENDOUS VICTORY in VIETNAM!
And how could WE not have been awakened the other day by the tremendous CW sound of SKNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNX?
And speaking of Sixteen-String Jack, an UPCOMING (!) MASTERPIECE in the THEATAH: A MUSICAL based on HAPPY DAYS!
"Kicking off 2006 will be the world premiere of Happy Days, a brand new musical which I wrote with Oscar and Grammy Award-winning composer/lyricist Paul Williams, with a book based on my successful TV series," boasted Marshall in the company's season announcement.
Boasted?
"Kicking off 2006 will be the world premiere of Happy Days, a brand new musical which I wrote with Oscar and Grammy Award-winning composer/lyricist Paul Williams, with a book based on my successful TV series," boasted Marshall in the company's season announcement.
Boasted?
And now we have another manufactured phenomenon in the "OPERA" biz -- a musical about the invention of the atomic bomb. John Adams is a name that gets the hacks' hearts beating rapidly because he writes "operas" about topical themes -- Nixon, Klinghoffer. That he can't write music worth a tinker's damn says something, too: here is another work that hardly exists at all outside media outlets, and here is another soon-to-be-forgotten Victor Herbert for our generation, without melody and with an ATTITUDE.
We are reminded again of something THE MASTER said to Boswell:
BOSWELL. "Does not Gray's poetry, Sir, tower above the common mark?" JOHNSON. "Yes, Sir; but we must attend to the difference between what men in general cannot do if they would, and what every man may do if he would. Sixteen-String Jack towered above the common mark."
We live amidst HUGE POPULATIONS of Sixteen-String Jacks.
We are reminded again of something THE MASTER said to Boswell:
BOSWELL. "Does not Gray's poetry, Sir, tower above the common mark?" JOHNSON. "Yes, Sir; but we must attend to the difference between what men in general cannot do if they would, and what every man may do if he would. Sixteen-String Jack towered above the common mark."
We live amidst HUGE POPULATIONS of Sixteen-String Jacks.
It is getting tiresome to read ArtsJournal.com links like this. Every several weeks we're told of some wild new show-biz phenomenon that, we are told, is HUGELY successful. Such stories could not be such stories without a heavy dollop of successful. So now the hacks north of the border tell us of the HUGELY successful Nigerian video biz, which has launched (in ArtsJournal's deathless words) "HUGE STARS." This means that while HACKS and EFFETE SNOBS have another toy to play with, outside of Nigeria these videos will exist as most blogs do -- in stealthy silence.
DUBYA! If you ever need an INTERNET CZAR, I have a suggestion for one: CHRIS PERILLO! (Whoever he is.)
Thanks for gumming up my blog -- and thousands of others.
Thanks for gumming up my blog -- and thousands of others.
We should have known the Video iPod would find a neat use -- as a PORN DISPENSER.
Well there's one good thing to come of it: the NINE FINGERS (plus or minus the STEALTH JUDGE) won't be able to LEGALIZE their way around PORN much longer.
Well there's one good thing to come of it: the NINE FINGERS (plus or minus the STEALTH JUDGE) won't be able to LEGALIZE their way around PORN much longer.
Anheuser-Busch is shocked. SHOCKED! that underage drinkers would use BEER in BUD PONG.
Hey clowns, you AREN'T in the WATER BIZ.
Hey clowns, you AREN'T in the WATER BIZ.
TRANSLATION: It's a shame we can't put things like Abu Ghraib on our covers EVERY WEEK!
Hey TROMBONE-PLAYING SOUTHERN LIBERAL! Your biz is getting EXACTLY THE COVERS IT DESERVES.
Hey TROMBONE-PLAYING SOUTHERN LIBERAL! Your biz is getting EXACTLY THE COVERS IT DESERVES.
Well, it APPEARS G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE is working again -- but I am taking NO chances; I intend to sign up for another blog provider tonight and will start a "ghost" blog (i.e., I'll post identical posts on both blogs). It's a pain in the a-double-scribble but these TECHNOLOGICAL TITANS leave me NO CHOICE.
BECAUSE THE CRETINS AT G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE WILL NOT LET ME CREATE ANY MORE POSTS, I'M TAKING THIS SPACE TO ANNOUNCE THAT, BARRING ANY CHANGES IN ITS IDIOTIC OPERATIONS, I AM SWITCHING TO A NEW BLOGGING SERVICE EITHER TONIGHT OR TOMORROW.
FOR THE THREE OF YOU WHO PAY ATTENTION TO MY BLOG, PLEASE WATCH THIS SPACE.
P. S. I HAD TO TRASH A POST TO RUN THIS ONE. THAT'S OKAY -- IT WAS ONE PRAISING G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE.
FOR THE THREE OF YOU WHO PAY ATTENTION TO MY BLOG, PLEASE WATCH THIS SPACE.
P. S. I HAD TO TRASH A POST TO RUN THIS ONE. THAT'S OKAY -- IT WAS ONE PRAISING G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE.
Yeah Marty, just what THE CONSPIRACY needs: MORE MARKETING.
MARKETING and FOCUS GROUPS and PRODUCT TESTING helped get your BIZ in the RUT it's in. However, if it'll get your BIZ in even MORE of a RUT, I say -- DO MORE MARKETING!
Some good news, though: Marty tells us Unilever's cut back on financing junk television by a fifth worldwide. The right thing, if probably for the wrong reasons.
MARKETING and FOCUS GROUPS and PRODUCT TESTING helped get your BIZ in the RUT it's in. However, if it'll get your BIZ in even MORE of a RUT, I say -- DO MORE MARKETING!
Some good news, though: Marty tells us Unilever's cut back on financing junk television by a fifth worldwide. The right thing, if probably for the wrong reasons.
But well, even The Cute Little Pink Paper can occasionally show signs of a brain, so we reproduce this "BLOG" entry in full -- despite the permalink (who knows with these clowns):
ASME: Is Good Cover Design Dead?
In keeping with the magazine industry's longtime love affair with lists ("Top 5 Things Magazines Love: Lists, Sex Advice, iPods, Eva Longoria, and... Surprises!"), the American Society of Magazine Editors has announced their Top 40 Magazine Covers of the Last 40 Years.
Making the list are some predictable choices: Saul Steinberg's "View of the World from 9th Avenue," in The New Yorker; George Lois' Andy Warhol drowning in Campbell's soup for Esquire, and... surprises!
But less well-publicized was ASME's Worst 40 Magazine Covers of the Last 40 Years. Twenty of the selected covers were of the cast of Desperate Housewives in various configurations. The remaining 20 are listed below:
Vanity Fair, September 2005 (Paris Hilton Wearing White Her Way!).
Tie: Rolling Stone, November 27, 2003 (Housewife of the Year: Jessica Simpson); January 17, 1985 (The Secret Life of Hall and Oates).
New York, August 16, 2004 (Defending Joel Steinberg).
Spin, September 2000 (Creed Confess Their Sins).
Tie: TIME, July 5, 1999 (Cruise & Kidman Like You've Never Seen Them); January 24, 2000 (The Big Deal: How The AOL-Time Warner Merger Happened).
Esquire, December 1995 (Jim Carrey Feels No Pain).
The New Yorker, January 31, 1994 (AKA, 'Anthropomorphic Hassidic Bull with Horns').
Eleven-Way Tie: GQ, February 1998 (Big Ben: Ben Affleck Bellies Up to Stardom); Details, July 1999 (Ben Affleck: Armageddon's Rocket Man); Premiere, August 1999 (Ben Affleck Kicks Asteroid!); Vanity Fair, October 1999 (Ben Affleck: Gwyneth, Girl Talk, And the Whole Matt Thing); Talk, October 2000 (Ben Affleck: "People say I should live like a rock star"); People, February 21, 2000 (The Real Ben Affleck); GQ, May 2001 (Ben Affleck's Journey To Manhood); Details, April 2002 (Ben Affleck's True Hollywood Story); US Weekly, August 12, 2002 (J.Lo & Ben's Hot New Love); People, August 12, 2002 (J.Lo & Ben Affleck's Red-Hot Romance); US Weekly, November 4, 2002 (J.Lo & Ben Wedding on the Way?).
—Matt Haber
Posted by matthaber 10/17/2005 11:47:00 PM
Yes, it does seem that way.
ASME: Is Good Cover Design Dead?
In keeping with the magazine industry's longtime love affair with lists ("Top 5 Things Magazines Love: Lists, Sex Advice, iPods, Eva Longoria, and... Surprises!"), the American Society of Magazine Editors has announced their Top 40 Magazine Covers of the Last 40 Years.
Making the list are some predictable choices: Saul Steinberg's "View of the World from 9th Avenue," in The New Yorker; George Lois' Andy Warhol drowning in Campbell's soup for Esquire, and... surprises!
But less well-publicized was ASME's Worst 40 Magazine Covers of the Last 40 Years. Twenty of the selected covers were of the cast of Desperate Housewives in various configurations. The remaining 20 are listed below:
Vanity Fair, September 2005 (Paris Hilton Wearing White Her Way!).
Tie: Rolling Stone, November 27, 2003 (Housewife of the Year: Jessica Simpson); January 17, 1985 (The Secret Life of Hall and Oates).
New York, August 16, 2004 (Defending Joel Steinberg).
Spin, September 2000 (Creed Confess Their Sins).
Tie: TIME, July 5, 1999 (Cruise & Kidman Like You've Never Seen Them); January 24, 2000 (The Big Deal: How The AOL-Time Warner Merger Happened).
Esquire, December 1995 (Jim Carrey Feels No Pain).
The New Yorker, January 31, 1994 (AKA, 'Anthropomorphic Hassidic Bull with Horns').
Eleven-Way Tie: GQ, February 1998 (Big Ben: Ben Affleck Bellies Up to Stardom); Details, July 1999 (Ben Affleck: Armageddon's Rocket Man); Premiere, August 1999 (Ben Affleck Kicks Asteroid!); Vanity Fair, October 1999 (Ben Affleck: Gwyneth, Girl Talk, And the Whole Matt Thing); Talk, October 2000 (Ben Affleck: "People say I should live like a rock star"); People, February 21, 2000 (The Real Ben Affleck); GQ, May 2001 (Ben Affleck's Journey To Manhood); Details, April 2002 (Ben Affleck's True Hollywood Story); US Weekly, August 12, 2002 (J.Lo & Ben's Hot New Love); People, August 12, 2002 (J.Lo & Ben Affleck's Red-Hot Romance); US Weekly, November 4, 2002 (J.Lo & Ben Wedding on the Way?).
—Matt Haber
Posted by matthaber 10/17/2005 11:47:00 PM
Yes, it does seem that way.
Well this morning G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER ditched WORD VERIFICATION for my posts, so I'm thinking it was another typical GLITCH. Legitimate bloggers shouldn't have to put up with such nuisances.
And in more proof that NEWS HACKS largely talk to themselves (and this being The Cute Little Pink Paper I can’t link to it as this @#$%&* RAG uses GENERIC LINKS):
Naturally, the film has gotten caustic reviews from the conservative right [including, we may presume, STEPHEN HUNTER and JACK SHAFER. -- ED.], in reprisal for the rave reviews from the liberal left.
At the showing I attended, there was warm applause at the end—as well there should be, given the film’s ringing defense of dissent in our country at a time of international crisis. But whatever audience the film does attract—and it promises to be not large—it may end up being a case of preaching to the converted, among whom, I suspect, I may count the great bulk of my readers.
If this doesn’t prove media types are conformists –- and media types are all that read The Cute Little Pink Paper –- I don’t know what does.
Naturally, the film has gotten caustic reviews from the conservative right [including, we may presume, STEPHEN HUNTER and JACK SHAFER. -- ED.], in reprisal for the rave reviews from the liberal left.
At the showing I attended, there was warm applause at the end—as well there should be, given the film’s ringing defense of dissent in our country at a time of international crisis. But whatever audience the film does attract—and it promises to be not large—it may end up being a case of preaching to the converted, among whom, I suspect, I may count the great bulk of my readers.
If this doesn’t prove media types are conformists –- and media types are all that read The Cute Little Pink Paper –- I don’t know what does.
It's not our subjects I'm worried about, it's our souls.
We know you never worried about your subjects –- you HACKS have a way of leaving them out to dry –- but typists having SOULS? Please, you’re not POETS, however much you may THINK you are. It’s not even clear sometimes you’re human beings.
We know you never worried about your subjects –- you HACKS have a way of leaving them out to dry –- but typists having SOULS? Please, you’re not POETS, however much you may THINK you are. It’s not even clear sometimes you’re human beings.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
CLEM KADIDDLEHOPPERS OF MOUNTAIN VIEW! WHY DO I NOW HAVE TO FILL IN SOMETHING CALLED WORD VERIFICATION TO BEFORE I CAN POST?
BusinessWeek's version of Ken Felatta does a little cheerleading for his friends in Hollywood. But why should people rush to see bad movies by computer just because the technology's sexy?
WHAT MAKES EDDIE GREAT (or, Eddie PRNewswire press release #62,395):
GREENSBURG, Pa., Oct. 18 /PRNewswire/ -- Governor Edward G. Rendell today broke ground for a new building in downtown Greensburg that will be leased to house the Department of Labor & Industry's local office and save taxpayer dollars by consolidating state offices into one building. The 80,400-square-foot building will provide a boost to the town's revitalization efforts.
"Pennsylvania is making an investment today in downtown Greensburg," Governor Rendell said. "It is not just about bricks and mortar, but about bringing people downtown who will help revitalize and reenergize the community and support local business.
"We are working to improve the quality of life in our towns and cities, by attracting new investment and jobs. We are helping to restore commercial districts and making sure we have affordable housing," the Governor said, citing the rampant condominium speculation that has lowered Philadelphia's cost of living. (WHOOPS! Those last twelve words aren't in there.)
The project will bring 265 employees into the downtown area. The building will be ready for occupancy by the end of 2006 and will be leased by the Department of Labor & Industry for $1.6 million annually. It will house the Bureaus of Disability Determination, Unemployment Compensation and Workers Compensation. More than 50 local contractors will work on the project....
How many times has GUVMENT done something like this -- and downtown didn't budge?
GREENSBURG, Pa., Oct. 18 /PRNewswire/ -- Governor Edward G. Rendell today broke ground for a new building in downtown Greensburg that will be leased to house the Department of Labor & Industry's local office and save taxpayer dollars by consolidating state offices into one building. The 80,400-square-foot building will provide a boost to the town's revitalization efforts.
"Pennsylvania is making an investment today in downtown Greensburg," Governor Rendell said. "It is not just about bricks and mortar, but about bringing people downtown who will help revitalize and reenergize the community and support local business.
"We are working to improve the quality of life in our towns and cities, by attracting new investment and jobs. We are helping to restore commercial districts and making sure we have affordable housing," the Governor said, citing the rampant condominium speculation that has lowered Philadelphia's cost of living. (WHOOPS! Those last twelve words aren't in there.)
The project will bring 265 employees into the downtown area. The building will be ready for occupancy by the end of 2006 and will be leased by the Department of Labor & Industry for $1.6 million annually. It will house the Bureaus of Disability Determination, Unemployment Compensation and Workers Compensation. More than 50 local contractors will work on the project....
How many times has GUVMENT done something like this -- and downtown didn't budge?
No orange doohickeys on MOST E-MAILED. AGAIN!
Speculation over L'AFFAIRE WHO CARES enters the MIGRAINE PHASE, with too many people TWIDDLING THEIR THUMBS and TYPING.
If someone is indicted, the only people who'll care are NEWS HACKS, as its cousin the prosecution of SNIDELY WHIPLASH is just another form of politics, of which people have had ENOUGH. Which isn't to say PRESIDENT ROVE or VICE-PRESIDENT BIGOIL are the types we'd want to meet in a dark alley in the dead of night.
If someone is indicted, the only people who'll care are NEWS HACKS, as its cousin the prosecution of SNIDELY WHIPLASH is just another form of politics, of which people have had ENOUGH. Which isn't to say PRESIDENT ROVE or VICE-PRESIDENT BIGOIL are the types we'd want to meet in a dark alley in the dead of night.
"Why can't real estate just have a boom like every other industry?" Toll asked in complaint. "Why do we have to have a bubble and then a pop?"
Because you're addicted to smothering every last inch of farmland with superexpensive ticky-tacky?
Because you're addicted to smothering every last inch of farmland with superexpensive ticky-tacky?
OOOH, DANICA PATRICK FIGHTS LIKE A MAN!
But doesn't that mean it's okay because she's a WOMAN?
"My son hits harder than she does," said Lazier, whose son Kayden is 4.
OOOH, THEM'S FIGHTIN' WORDS!
But doesn't that mean it's okay because she's a WOMAN?
"My son hits harder than she does," said Lazier, whose son Kayden is 4.
OOOH, THEM'S FIGHTIN' WORDS!
BOND? JAMES...BOND?????
AND:
When asked why he didn’t go into television news like his father, TV newcaster Nick Clooney, George Clooney quipped, “I lacked only talent.” But, added Clooney — who directed “Good Night and Good Luck,” the new biopic about famed newsman Edward R. Murrow — “I had the hair for it.”
CALLING LES "MOONER" MOONVES!!!!!
Well, at least he never tried to SING.
AND:
When asked why he didn’t go into television news like his father, TV newcaster Nick Clooney, George Clooney quipped, “I lacked only talent.” But, added Clooney — who directed “Good Night and Good Luck,” the new biopic about famed newsman Edward R. Murrow — “I had the hair for it.”
CALLING LES "MOONER" MOONVES!!!!!
Well, at least he never tried to SING.
AND IN FURTHER CRUSADING REPORTING FROM CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES:
Albright to Guest Star on 'Gilmore Girls'
Albright to Guest Star on 'Gilmore Girls'
Romy is trying to restart this STUPID DEBATE over the TRAGEDY of so many YOUNG PEOPLE disdaining JERNALISM for PR. I'll say it AGAIN: as currently practiced there is LITTLE DIFFERENCE between REPORTING and FLACKERY. For as long as we've had a PARTISAN PRESS it's indulged in SPIN, and that goes back to before JOHN PETER ZENGER. With the Internet tearing down the physical wall between the luxury news suite and the public-affairs office we see how the two professions have FAR TOO MUCH IN COMMON. Many PR types are former NEWS HACKS, further diminishing the differences to a philosophical level. No, it is HEALTHY that people disdain such angels-on-the-head-of-a-pin musings, for they have nothing to do with REAL LIFE, and as people instinctively know that, however torrid the talk, however plaintive the mea culpas, NEWS HACKS WILL ALWAYS SPIN AND SELL as they're just PRESS AGENTS WITH A "CALLING."
EXCELLENT: A G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE SEARCH of "blogspot spam blogs" yields 2,120,000 hits. A search of "blogspot 'spam blogs'" yields 41,900 hits.
THANKS, G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE! You've helped put legitimate Blogspot users in the same category as sleazeballs!
THANKS, G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE! You've helped put legitimate Blogspot users in the same category as sleazeballs!
SUMNER DON'T KNOW JACK.
STERNO'S SAVIOR is down 15 percent in Noo Yawk. Is this the usual random zigzag or the beginning of his move to radio's version of TIMESREJECT?
STERNO'S SAVIOR is down 15 percent in Noo Yawk. Is this the usual random zigzag or the beginning of his move to radio's version of TIMESREJECT?
You have to wonder if the Martin and Lewis breakup wasn't the beginning of the end for nightlife. Once the big names played nightclubs to packed houses. Now we have forlorn scatological -- er, comedy clubs, jazz funeral homes, and the outhouses for the GREAT WHITE 1-0-0 circuit. What we don't have is nightlife.
And here's another problem, SAM: MMMMMMMMMMSSSSSSSSSSMMMMMMMMMM has learned how to BLOG TOO.
Our spin, their lies, their spin, our lies, SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....
Our spin, their lies, their spin, our lies, SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....
Another blogging IPO is in the works, sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
And there's one advantage these future IPOs have that others don't -- built-in PRESS AGENTS.
P. S. Given that SAM LITTLE's a CO-FOUNDER I would expect this to degenerate into a COMEDY OF ERRORS, however profitable.
Indeed this brave new world of newsgathering is looking more and more distressingly like the old: our spin versus their lies, their spin versus our lies, and the truth be damned.
And there's one advantage these future IPOs have that others don't -- built-in PRESS AGENTS.
P. S. Given that SAM LITTLE's a CO-FOUNDER I would expect this to degenerate into a COMEDY OF ERRORS, however profitable.
Indeed this brave new world of newsgathering is looking more and more distressingly like the old: our spin versus their lies, their spin versus our lies, and the truth be damned.
Every time someone sells me on a NEW! IMPROVED!! way to surf the Web it turns out to be more of the same. Topix, My Way, Inform, Memeorandum -- they can only go so far as so many sites gaze at the same limited universe of information, the same old universe ruled by PINCH, ST. WARREN and CURLEY and his (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES. And it's naive to think there's some shining blog star out there when BLOGGERS tend to think the same, whatever their dogmas.
But why the aide or bodyguard? Or is this THE NO-SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN ZONE in disguise?
I feel (Sniff!) so sorry (Sniff! Sniff!) for JERRY REINSDORF! (BOOHOOHOO!!!!!)
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!!!!!!
P. S. 2,483 WORDS!!!!! WHO SAYS THE NEWS HOLE'S SHRINKING?
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!!!!!!
P. S. 2,483 WORDS!!!!! WHO SAYS THE NEWS HOLE'S SHRINKING?
I think I know why USAOKAY!!!!! filled some of its NEWS HOLE with 1,194 WORDS of PLUG: GE BANCORP NETWORK MAY HAVE TO GIVE MONEY BACK TO ADVERTISERS!
Which they can shred SOMEWHERE ELSE.
Which they can shred SOMEWHERE ELSE.
After meeting with six families whose loved ones have served in Iraq, Governor Mitt Romney said yesterday that the United States had invaded the country based on "faulty intelligence." But he refused to press President Bush to bring home the state's National Guard.
Is Mitt running for president?
Is Mitt running for president?
"It's crazy" for Ney to say he was duped, Abramoff said. "He was on the phone for an hour and a half!"
True; the only time CONGRESSPOOPS can be duped is when they inadvertently do good.
WHAT IS WITH ST. WARREN AND THOSE TOENAIL FUNGUS ADS?????
True; the only time CONGRESSPOOPS can be duped is when they inadvertently do good.
WHAT IS WITH ST. WARREN AND THOSE TOENAIL FUNGUS ADS?????
Nightlight goes Entertainment Tonight on its road to replacement by a talk show.
Happily, LORD KOPPEL will be on PBS (we've no doubt), doing -- JERNALISM.
Happily, LORD KOPPEL will be on PBS (we've no doubt), doing -- JERNALISM.
Who says the news hole is shrinking? USAOKAY!!!!! just spent 1,194 WORDS (counting captions) plugging a sitcom!
One way to know you're reading a plug: when an article quotes a MEDIA BUYER.
One way to know you're reading a plug: when an article quotes a MEDIA BUYER.
Monday, October 17, 2005
KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPH!
I'M DONE VENTING NOW [John J. Miller]
If you've ever wondered about the politics of magazine editors, check out the 23rd greatest magazine cover of the last 40 years.Some one needs to tell the folks at ASME (i.e., the American Society of Magazine Editors) that their acronym really could use a second "S." Truth in advertising.
Posted at 02:40 PM
Agreed that magazine editors are AS(S)ES -- how could they not be in a biz that's spawned HANK LUCE and GRAY-DON and TINA and MR. MARK -- and BILL BUCKLEY -- and LISTS ARE STUPID THINGS DONE BY MAGAZINE EDITORS, and granted their list is CW and PC to the NTH, but NUMBER 35 should assuage you.
I'M DONE VENTING NOW [John J. Miller]
If you've ever wondered about the politics of magazine editors, check out the 23rd greatest magazine cover of the last 40 years.Some one needs to tell the folks at ASME (i.e., the American Society of Magazine Editors) that their acronym really could use a second "S." Truth in advertising.
Posted at 02:40 PM
Agreed that magazine editors are AS(S)ES -- how could they not be in a biz that's spawned HANK LUCE and GRAY-DON and TINA and MR. MARK -- and BILL BUCKLEY -- and LISTS ARE STUPID THINGS DONE BY MAGAZINE EDITORS, and granted their list is CW and PC to the NTH, but NUMBER 35 should assuage you.
And speaking of con-SER-va-tives, there's a new ENEMY on their LIST, and his name is -- JOHN BOGLE:
SM: In the book you make comparisons between today's executive compensation excesses and the age of the robber barons.
JB: I talk about the compensation for chief executives. In the book I say the top earners have 430 times the compensation of the average worker. It's like a second Gilded Age.
COMMUNIST!!!!!
Although we cannot imagine how more so than the ONE-COMPANY-STATERS of con-SER-va-tism:
SM: Why is the increasing concentration of stock ownership such an insidious development?
JB: The problem is that we have profound conflicts of interest as agents. Money managers — nearly all of them — are managing both mutual funds and pension funds. So there's not much of a distinction out there from an investment standpoint. The 100 largest institutions own about 58% of all corporate U.S. stocks. That's an amazing concentration. They're managing 401(k) plans and pension plans. They don't want to lose their clients. The managers don't want to offend their clients; and they don't want to offend two types of clients — actual and potential. They don't want to offend anybody.
In my time in this business, investment management has gone from a profession with elements of a business to a business with elements of a profession. Now the dominant form of management is the giant financial conglomerate. Companies, in effect, own themselves.
Maybe the ONE-COMPANY STATE is closer than I thought.
SM: In the book you make comparisons between today's executive compensation excesses and the age of the robber barons.
JB: I talk about the compensation for chief executives. In the book I say the top earners have 430 times the compensation of the average worker. It's like a second Gilded Age.
COMMUNIST!!!!!
Although we cannot imagine how more so than the ONE-COMPANY-STATERS of con-SER-va-tism:
SM: Why is the increasing concentration of stock ownership such an insidious development?
JB: The problem is that we have profound conflicts of interest as agents. Money managers — nearly all of them — are managing both mutual funds and pension funds. So there's not much of a distinction out there from an investment standpoint. The 100 largest institutions own about 58% of all corporate U.S. stocks. That's an amazing concentration. They're managing 401(k) plans and pension plans. They don't want to lose their clients. The managers don't want to offend their clients; and they don't want to offend two types of clients — actual and potential. They don't want to offend anybody.
In my time in this business, investment management has gone from a profession with elements of a business to a business with elements of a profession. Now the dominant form of management is the giant financial conglomerate. Companies, in effect, own themselves.
Maybe the ONE-COMPANY STATE is closer than I thought.
DOW 36,000 is AT IT AGAIN:
The Strip isn't always pretty. But America, and the world, can learn a lot from Vegas. [Home-page tease]
Like...GREED IS GOOD!
The sunshine helps, no doubt. So does immigration from Mexico and availability of relatively inexpensive land. The lack of a state income tax is a big attraction.
GREED IS GOOD!
DOW, couldn't you have written another article on the MIRACLE of PRICE GOUGING?
And what makes this WORSE is that it overshadows an article justly blasting NEWS HACKS for putting their vile pro-Islamist spin on the situation on Iraq -- even IF the author must refer to the MMMMMMMMMMSSSSSSSSSSMMMMMMMMMM.
The Strip isn't always pretty. But America, and the world, can learn a lot from Vegas. [Home-page tease]
Like...GREED IS GOOD!
The sunshine helps, no doubt. So does immigration from Mexico and availability of relatively inexpensive land. The lack of a state income tax is a big attraction.
GREED IS GOOD!
DOW, couldn't you have written another article on the MIRACLE of PRICE GOUGING?
And what makes this WORSE is that it overshadows an article justly blasting NEWS HACKS for putting their vile pro-Islamist spin on the situation on Iraq -- even IF the author must refer to the MMMMMMMMMMSSSSSSSSSSMMMMMMMMMM.
Speaking of PORN:
AN attempt to use Britart to foster relations with Morocco has backfired after locals branded the exhibits offensive to their religious beliefs.
Two of the works, notably an anatomical statement by Tracey Emin, have been withdrawn, while three others by artists including the Chapman brothers have caused offence because of their sexual nature.
The collection was put together and curated by Vanessa Branson, sister of the businessman Sir Richard.
This will happen when Babbitts take over diplomacy; but then we know that, except for making obscene sums of money, the likes of Sir Richard have NO SENSE.
Also withdrawn was a picture of President George W Bush deliberately shown upside down. The print is by the American artist Jonathan Horowitz. “We took it out because this is not the time for political provocation,” said Benjelloun.
I repeat: NO SENSE.
AN attempt to use Britart to foster relations with Morocco has backfired after locals branded the exhibits offensive to their religious beliefs.
Two of the works, notably an anatomical statement by Tracey Emin, have been withdrawn, while three others by artists including the Chapman brothers have caused offence because of their sexual nature.
The collection was put together and curated by Vanessa Branson, sister of the businessman Sir Richard.
This will happen when Babbitts take over diplomacy; but then we know that, except for making obscene sums of money, the likes of Sir Richard have NO SENSE.
Also withdrawn was a picture of President George W Bush deliberately shown upside down. The print is by the American artist Jonathan Horowitz. “We took it out because this is not the time for political provocation,” said Benjelloun.
I repeat: NO SENSE.
But Ms. Katz said Bud Pong was not intended for underage drinkers because promotions were held in bars, not on campuses. And it does not promote binge drinking, she said, because official rules call for water to be used, not beer.
Pffh-hh-hh hh hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
This BUD's for you! and THIS one and THIS one and THIS one!! (HIC!)
Legend has it that the game, also known for some reason as Beirut, started years ago at a Dartmouth College fraternity party.
1. I think I can guess why it's called Beirut. 2. How apt the fad started at one of America's most PC colleges.
P. S. Thank You, PINCH! With all Your colyumnists gone it's easier to find stories like this on Most E-Mailed!
But Your Holiness...are You SURE You should have linked to a glorified PORN portal?
Pffh-hh-hh hh hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
This BUD's for you! and THIS one and THIS one and THIS one!! (HIC!)
Legend has it that the game, also known for some reason as Beirut, started years ago at a Dartmouth College fraternity party.
1. I think I can guess why it's called Beirut. 2. How apt the fad started at one of America's most PC colleges.
P. S. Thank You, PINCH! With all Your colyumnists gone it's easier to find stories like this on Most E-Mailed!
But Your Holiness...are You SURE You should have linked to a glorified PORN portal?
There aren't yet enough quality pages to satisfy advertisers' hunger for a blog presence
There aren't enough quality blogs PERIOD.
There aren't enough quality blogs PERIOD.
The nets are about prepared to abandon first-run programming on Friday nights -- but you can bet your ad dollar THE AMERICAN SOCIETY OF WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS won't stop shredding money on it!
And on this day we hear the charming news that SLEAZEBALL GUMBO tried to get into fiction, a drug company pays over $700 million in fines for promoting an AIDS drug through kickbacks to doctors.
Sorta renews your faith in BIG PHARMA, doesn't it?
Sorta renews your faith in BIG PHARMA, doesn't it?
NewsMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! gets a little TETCHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:
The New York Times is not too happy with NewsMax’s coverage of major political candidates using U2 concerts to fundraise.
On Friday, NewsMax fell in the crosshairs of the "The Gray Lady."
The paper reported that a NewsMax "Inside Cover” story had set off a brouhaha about U2's involvement with U.S. Senator Rick Santorum, a Republican from Pennsylvania.
NewsMax's story first revealed that a $1,000-a-seat fundraiser was to be held for Sen. Santorum during Sunday night’s U2 concert in Philadelphia.
Citing a response from Santorum’s office, the Times reported that the NewsMax story was "incorrect” and U2 was, indeed, not holding a fundraiser for Santorum.
But here's the rub: NewsMax had never claimed that U2 or Bono were holding their concert for Santorum – though several liberal blogs claimed as much. Apparently, the New York Times has bought into the NewsMax-Santorum-Bono conspiracy theory.
We hadn't seen the original story -- of COURSE NewsMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! doesn't link to it -- but NOW WE HAVE, and given the MAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'S cute use of words we think it got caught with its hands in the cookie jar. But then someone could put together a Web site with nothing but the MAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s BONERS, and here's betting it would have an AUDIENCE.
The New York Times is not too happy with NewsMax’s coverage of major political candidates using U2 concerts to fundraise.
On Friday, NewsMax fell in the crosshairs of the "The Gray Lady."
The paper reported that a NewsMax "Inside Cover” story had set off a brouhaha about U2's involvement with U.S. Senator Rick Santorum, a Republican from Pennsylvania.
NewsMax's story first revealed that a $1,000-a-seat fundraiser was to be held for Sen. Santorum during Sunday night’s U2 concert in Philadelphia.
Citing a response from Santorum’s office, the Times reported that the NewsMax story was "incorrect” and U2 was, indeed, not holding a fundraiser for Santorum.
But here's the rub: NewsMax had never claimed that U2 or Bono were holding their concert for Santorum – though several liberal blogs claimed as much. Apparently, the New York Times has bought into the NewsMax-Santorum-Bono conspiracy theory.
We hadn't seen the original story -- of COURSE NewsMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! doesn't link to it -- but NOW WE HAVE, and given the MAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'S cute use of words we think it got caught with its hands in the cookie jar. But then someone could put together a Web site with nothing but the MAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s BONERS, and here's betting it would have an AUDIENCE.
Now we KNOW it's serious: Someone deplores the profusion of TV ads -- ON NRO!!!!!
The EARTH is MOVING.
The EARTH is MOVING.
Meanwhile, on a more optimistic note...
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO GREG!
We may soon launch a separate site to honor NEUHARTHISMS. More work, but all these wonderful honorees deserve the attention!
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO GREG!
We may soon launch a separate site to honor NEUHARTHISMS. More work, but all these wonderful honorees deserve the attention!
Here come the CLUNKER BROTHERS!
This is why GM and the auto workers finally agreed it couldn't finance the health-care biz FOREVER.
This is why GM and the auto workers finally agreed it couldn't finance the health-care biz FOREVER.
Perhaps the people scored a victory in stopping the International Freedom Center, but one wonders if this a just another skirmish in an undending war; among the backers of the late center were AmEx, GE Bancorp, IBM, and People Warner.
There will be another something in the future, another chance to stick it in our faces.
There will be another something in the future, another chance to stick it in our faces.
Vanity Fair Editor-in-Chief Graydon Carter last month told an audience of advertisers that while he often used Google, he never remembered the ads. Schmidt countered by using Vanity Fair as Exhibit A: Its circulation is around 1 million, he said, and a full-page ad for a Prada bag costs around $100,000. So that ad in Vanity Fair costs 10 cents per impression. How about paying about 20 cents per impression, he offered, for a link to a Web site where you can buy the bag?
In truth, Vanity Fair's ad is cheaper per impression if you measure by the magazine's total audience, but Schmidt's point is nonetheless clear: Which gets you closer to commerce, and how much do you pay for that? So goes this tech-driven narrative of the future. We have seen much of this movie before. But suddenly I'm not sure how this one ends.
I think I know how it ends: with the SUGAR DADDIES again coming to HOLLYWOOD'S RESCUE, and G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE being worth $10,000 a share after a 50-for-1 split -- the USUAL HAPPY ENDING.
In truth, Vanity Fair's ad is cheaper per impression if you measure by the magazine's total audience, but Schmidt's point is nonetheless clear: Which gets you closer to commerce, and how much do you pay for that? So goes this tech-driven narrative of the future. We have seen much of this movie before. But suddenly I'm not sure how this one ends.
I think I know how it ends: with the SUGAR DADDIES again coming to HOLLYWOOD'S RESCUE, and G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE being worth $10,000 a share after a 50-for-1 split -- the USUAL HAPPY ENDING.
Hmmm, King Kong's getting a new songwriter. Maybe it won't be the masterpiece the news hacks are already raving in their hard drives?
Well, look at it this way, Pete: Stan Kubrick replaced Alex North with Richard Strauss. So it could be worse. Your film could really BE a "MASTERPIECE."
Well, look at it this way, Pete: Stan Kubrick replaced Alex North with Richard Strauss. So it could be worse. Your film could really BE a "MASTERPIECE."
We would feel sad about Michelle being DQ'ed but she's already made zillions, and she'll make more zillions, and with the help of our Gods and oppressors in the news biz she will soon become INSUFFERABLE.
Speaking thereof if Clint can do for Iwo Jima what he did for euthanasia we may surrender to the Japanese!
Can anyone here say CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED?
And we know they'll be PC because LUKE SPIELBERG's producing them!
Can anyone here say CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED?
And we know they'll be PC because LUKE SPIELBERG's producing them!
It's that time of year when ADAGE hands out "AWARDS" to crappy magazines to show people it can toady with the best of them -- and this year we award PEOPLE for making celebrity press releases inescapable!
And the cherry on the whipped cream is we get to do it at a RESORT now! Nice going, Rance! Your rag gets more irrelevant by the day!
That's the great thing about the ad biz: everything's an excuse for a paid vacation. And WE PAY FOR IT.
P. S. From now on we will refer to People Magazines and PEOPLE WARNER -- but their employees will still be TWXSTERS.
And the cherry on the whipped cream is we get to do it at a RESORT now! Nice going, Rance! Your rag gets more irrelevant by the day!
That's the great thing about the ad biz: everything's an excuse for a paid vacation. And WE PAY FOR IT.
P. S. From now on we will refer to People Magazines and PEOPLE WARNER -- but their employees will still be TWXSTERS.
Who knew SLEAZEBALL GUMBO wanted to write a NOVEL?
Hey Billy, there are HUNDREDS of ghostwriters in the Beltway. All you had to do was ASK!
Hey Billy, there are HUNDREDS of ghostwriters in the Beltway. All you had to do was ASK!
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Despondent over ever being able to get a decent, affordable place to live I came across this widely distributed piece of JUNK from CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES plugging a plug of our city in that sometimes tourist rag National Geographic:
Since 2000, the number of visitors to the city has grown by 21 percent to 25.5 million, said Meryl Levitz, president and chief executive of the Greater Philadelphia Tourism Marketing Corp.
Looking up this outfit's Web page I found something one step removed from the teen-oriented sites that inflict pop-up ads on you. Googling the number led me to this PRESS RELEASE from our DISINTERESTED TOURISM BOARD that apparently defines Philadelphia as FIVE COUNTIES and involves at least TWO CONSULTANTS and a RESEARCH FIRM, providing MUCHO opportunity for inventing figures. Indeed our tourism board seems to have spent so much time stroking numbers it's hard to believe ANY of them.
In short, those who must depend on CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES for even STRAIGHT FACTS must TEAR THEIR HAIR OUT.
Since 2000, the number of visitors to the city has grown by 21 percent to 25.5 million, said Meryl Levitz, president and chief executive of the Greater Philadelphia Tourism Marketing Corp.
Looking up this outfit's Web page I found something one step removed from the teen-oriented sites that inflict pop-up ads on you. Googling the number led me to this PRESS RELEASE from our DISINTERESTED TOURISM BOARD that apparently defines Philadelphia as FIVE COUNTIES and involves at least TWO CONSULTANTS and a RESEARCH FIRM, providing MUCHO opportunity for inventing figures. Indeed our tourism board seems to have spent so much time stroking numbers it's hard to believe ANY of them.
In short, those who must depend on CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES for even STRAIGHT FACTS must TEAR THEIR HAIR OUT.
"I do think that this is a revolution on the scale of both the telephone and Gutenberg," Copeland said. "Could you in 1910 have guessed how big a part of our lives the telephone would be?"
We still have the Bible, we still have telephones. It is highly unlikely our greatgrandchildren will read our BLOGS.
P. S. It is disconcerting when a "Christian" university boasts of a Hollywood hack alumnus (whose SUCCESSFUL "film stars big names such as Tom Wilkinson and Laura Linney"). Why must religious types pay so much attention to the things of this world? Or don't they believe there's a next?
Besides, Gonzaga had Der Bingle.
We still have the Bible, we still have telephones. It is highly unlikely our greatgrandchildren will read our BLOGS.
P. S. It is disconcerting when a "Christian" university boasts of a Hollywood hack alumnus (whose SUCCESSFUL "film stars big names such as Tom Wilkinson and Laura Linney"). Why must religious types pay so much attention to the things of this world? Or don't they believe there's a next?
Besides, Gonzaga had Der Bingle.
B.O.'s down almost 25 PERCENT from LAST YEAR!
Time for more LIGHTS and WIRES in the BOX.
PAUL DRECK invents a NEW excuse: BASEBALL. People are staying home watching baseball by the ZILLIONS so they can avoid watching movies.
SHUT UP, PAUL DRECK!
Time for more LIGHTS and WIRES in the BOX.
PAUL DRECK invents a NEW excuse: BASEBALL. People are staying home watching baseball by the ZILLIONS so they can avoid watching movies.
SHUT UP, PAUL DRECK!
I've got news for you, Stole -- er SKOLL, your masterworks won't work on three levels: 1. They probably won't make money -- THE KNIGHTING OF ST. EDWARD just fell on its sword; 2. Atop the mighty notion that THE CONSPIRACY wants to extrude the worst product possible comes the notion it wants to HECTOR moviegoers with PC, and sorry, most people DON'T like being hectored, however CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED the hectoring (indeed the more CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED the hectoring the LESS LIKELY some will endure it); and 3. There was a time people in SHOW-BIZ could claim to be better than their idly watching peons. THAT TIME HAS PASSED.
You're worth umpteen zillions, Stole -- SKOLL. Why didn't you give the money to the Red Cross, or the Salvation Army, or somewhere it WOULDN'T SHINE A BIG BRIGHT KLIEGL LIGHT ON YOU?
You're worth umpteen zillions, Stole -- SKOLL. Why didn't you give the money to the Red Cross, or the Salvation Army, or somewhere it WOULDN'T SHINE A BIG BRIGHT KLIEGL LIGHT ON YOU?
We're bored too, CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES -- bored of all the stories you waste on rich and famous SHOW-BIZ TYPES telling us among other things THEY WERE BORED so they can PLUG THEIR LATEST PROPERTIES.
This is far worse than Al Roker and his DOGS -- that at least was amusing -- and in at least one "PACKAGE" they APPEAR TOGETHER.
We're looking for a BYLINE to give out a NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD but CURLEY'S COWARDLY STOOGES OMITTED IT.
This is far worse than Al Roker and his DOGS -- that at least was amusing -- and in at least one "PACKAGE" they APPEAR TOGETHER.
We're looking for a BYLINE to give out a NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD but CURLEY'S COWARDLY STOOGES OMITTED IT.
Oh, NO -- an eBay ZILLIONAIRE is behind ALL THESE MOVIE LECTURES!
Is this to make up for all that SLEAZY DEALING on YOUR CREATION?
It's a shame we can't awaken Kaufman and Hart, or maybe Scott Fitzgerald from the dead -- this guy is RIPE for abuse.
I think I've come up with a joke: If you want to send a message, call eBay. (Don't forget the fees and shipping.)
Skoll rhymes with...stole?
Is this to make up for all that SLEAZY DEALING on YOUR CREATION?
It's a shame we can't awaken Kaufman and Hart, or maybe Scott Fitzgerald from the dead -- this guy is RIPE for abuse.
I think I've come up with a joke: If you want to send a message, call eBay. (Don't forget the fees and shipping.)
Skoll rhymes with...stole?
Three months after BOB GELDOF solved the world hunger problem, or whatever he did, Malawi declares a state of emergency owing to hunger.
I'd hate to think what would happen if Bob staged a stunt every MONTH. The whole WORLD might be infested with LOCUSTS.
I'd hate to think what would happen if Bob staged a stunt every MONTH. The whole WORLD might be infested with LOCUSTS.
THE version of events that prompted NBC Universal to abandon its DreamWorks acquisition reported by the media went like this: DreamWorks partners walked away from talks after NBC Universal Chief Bob Wright tried to lower the price.
But the real reason, according to a knowledgeable source, was that Jeffrey Immelt, chief of NBC Universal parent General Electric, killed the deal because the company has been unable to raise needed cash by selling its 50 percent stake in the Universal Studios theme park in Orlando.
THE MIGHTY GE BANCORP can't sell a THEME PARK?!?!?!? No wonder our stock's sitting there.
But the real reason, according to a knowledgeable source, was that Jeffrey Immelt, chief of NBC Universal parent General Electric, killed the deal because the company has been unable to raise needed cash by selling its 50 percent stake in the Universal Studios theme park in Orlando.
THE MIGHTY GE BANCORP can't sell a THEME PARK?!?!?!? No wonder our stock's sitting there.
"My fear is that Refco is the canary singing in the mine. I hope I’m wrong."
It never ceases to amaze us how many businessmen want to work in a MINE.
It never ceases to amaze us how many businessmen want to work in a MINE.
This isn't to say THE PAPER OF RE-CORD can't do a nice favor for SHOW-BIZ' GENIUSES when SELLING calls, for we have here a POSSIBLE BEST-PICTURE OSCAR® NOMINEE!!!!!
Folks, will you stop with that GENUFLECTING and BABBLING IN TONGUES to St. Murrow, PLEASE! You're not THAT good.
Folks, will you stop with that GENUFLECTING and BABBLING IN TONGUES to St. Murrow, PLEASE! You're not THAT good.