THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Saturday, December 13, 2008
OH -- it seems we may hear a little about the scum Madoff from con-SER-va-tives: he gave to DEMOCRATS.
Unlike Republican donors who usually get headlines something like “GOP Donor Snared In Criminality,” Madoff, as Democratic donor, barely earned a media mention.
And we're sure if he gave to REPUBLICANS you'd sweep that eccentric uncle under the rug TOO.
Unlike Republican donors who usually get headlines something like “GOP Donor Snared In Criminality,” Madoff, as Democratic donor, barely earned a media mention.
And we're sure if he gave to REPUBLICANS you'd sweep that eccentric uncle under the rug TOO.
How to $ELL mutual funds:
Bold: The mutual fund industry is one of the most inefficient I have ever seen. Putnam Fund for Growth & Income, a large value fund, has been in the bottom 5% of all funds in its category for the past decade, yet still has almost $6 billion invested in it. If it were a horse, it would already be glue.
Glue? That horse is Secretariat!
Wiener: Can you spell L-O-A-D? As in a 5.75% front-end and a 25 bp 12b-1. Putnam funds are not bought--they are sold.
They take it in the front end and pull the investors out through the rear. Apt terminology.
Bold: The mutual fund industry is one of the most inefficient I have ever seen. Putnam Fund for Growth & Income, a large value fund, has been in the bottom 5% of all funds in its category for the past decade, yet still has almost $6 billion invested in it. If it were a horse, it would already be glue.
Glue? That horse is Secretariat!
Wiener: Can you spell L-O-A-D? As in a 5.75% front-end and a 25 bp 12b-1. Putnam funds are not bought--they are sold.
They take it in the front end and pull the investors out through the rear. Apt terminology.
And we can expect both kinds of useless partisanship to condone their favorite crimes. The liberal condones criminal acts in the name of a righteous cause; the conservative condones criminal acts in the name of profit. We heard little from liberals about the near-terrorist acts against Prop 8's supporters; conservatives have been conspicuously mute about Madoff. Both sides have their useful criminal idiots.
We laugh at all the musclebound know-it-all Richie Riches who "invested" zillions with the vermin Madoff, but the amusement should cease when we realize financial crimes are growing bigger and more brazen. What is to prevent some genius with a computer from swiping the net worth of America? Yes it took the scum Madoff years to insinuate himself into the wallets of the rich, and vacuum out their contents; but we may no longer have the luxury of the big-time scamsters being outwardly civil.
Investors in CHICKENLAND: $4 BILLION!
And our favorite PR guy Rog comes through again:
Madoff (which is pronounced "made-off," as in, made off with all our money)....
And our favorite PR guy Rog comes through again:
Madoff (which is pronounced "made-off," as in, made off with all our money)....
The numbers on those two political Os-CAR® nominees say once these things open wider, the audience will disappear. The modern political movie is but another form of media onanism -- and who really wants to see movie studios engage in self-abuse, especially when they get their jollies abusing us?
Norm Braman, a Florida car dealer and once-owner of the Philadelphia Eagles....
And a good chunk of Palm Beach, Florida (probably not including PILLHEAD, alas).
Plus the scum Madoff was a pioneer in social networking!
Two of his investors said that among his clients, Mr. Madoff was considered a money-management legend; they would joke that if Mr. Madoff was a fraud, he'd take down half the world with him.
He may yet.
P. S. The REFORMED Henry Blodget says lots of his sucke -- INVESTORS poured in the money because they thought he specialized in INSIDER TRADING, which would definitely make him a Republican hero.
OR:
For years and years I've heard people say that [Bernie's] investment performance was too good to be true. The returns were too steady -- like GE earnings under Welch -- and too high given the supposed strategy. (Emphasis added)
And LEGENDARY was LEGENDARY too!
(Links via Seeking Alpha)
And a good chunk of Palm Beach, Florida (probably not including PILLHEAD, alas).
Plus the scum Madoff was a pioneer in social networking!
Two of his investors said that among his clients, Mr. Madoff was considered a money-management legend; they would joke that if Mr. Madoff was a fraud, he'd take down half the world with him.
He may yet.
P. S. The REFORMED Henry Blodget says lots of his sucke -- INVESTORS poured in the money because they thought he specialized in INSIDER TRADING, which would definitely make him a Republican hero.
OR:
For years and years I've heard people say that [Bernie's] investment performance was too good to be true. The returns were too steady -- like GE earnings under Welch -- and too high given the supposed strategy. (Emphasis added)
And LEGENDARY was LEGENDARY too!
(Links via Seeking Alpha)
Friday, December 12, 2008
No "HIP" comedian emceeing the Os-CAR®S this year? Now the A-CA-DE-MY® is begging its viewers to STAY AWAY!
Or maybe they'll have him tell jokes just in case.
Or maybe they'll have him tell jokes just in case.
ANGER at NRO, and not from cat dander:
BUSH IS CAVING!! UNBELIEVABLE!!!!! (Unbelievable overemphasis added)
What's a press secretary supposed to say? "White House to Detroit -- Drop Dead?" I don't want a bailout but I don't want our domestic auto business to implode -- although with Dubya you know he's capable of the craven, expedient thing.
BUSH IS CAVING!! UNBELIEVABLE!!!!! (Unbelievable overemphasis added)
What's a press secretary supposed to say? "White House to Detroit -- Drop Dead?" I don't want a bailout but I don't want our domestic auto business to implode -- although with Dubya you know he's capable of the craven, expedient thing.
Here's good news: Video-game sales went up!
Video games and MICKEY D's will save America!
(Via Seeking Alpha)
Video games and MICKEY D's will save America!
(Via Seeking Alpha)
OOOOH, Eddie said some not-nice words about The One's handling of Mr. Naughty Word!
You know what presidents-elect do to senior Delaware senators, don't you?
You know what presidents-elect do to senior Delaware senators, don't you?
BULLETIN FROM CHEAPIE MARKETWATCH!
UAW CALLS ON FED, TREASURY TO SAVE AUTO INDUSTRY
TRANSLATION: SAVE OUR JOBS BANK!
UAW CALLS ON FED, TREASURY TO SAVE AUTO INDUSTRY
TRANSLATION: SAVE OUR JOBS BANK!
[T]he first step toward resolving the war in Afghanistan is to lay down the law in both Islamabad and Kabul. The message should be the same in both cases: The unsupervised splurge of American aid is over. The Pakistanis will have to stop giving tacit support and protection to terrorists, especially the Afghan Taliban. The Karzai government will have to end its corruption and close down the drug trade. There are plenty of other reforms necessary — the international humanitarian effort is a shabby, self-righteous mess; some of our NATO allies aren't carrying their share of the military burden — but the war will remain a bloody stalemate at best as long as jihadis come across the border from Pakistan and the drug trade flourishes....
Before he sends another U.S. soldier off to die or be maimed in Afghanistan, President-elect Obama needs to deliver the blunt message to the leaders of Pakistan and Afghanistan that we will no longer tolerate their complicity in the deaths of Americans and our allies, a slaughter that began on the morning of Sept. 11, 2001, and continues to this day.
You know ANONYMOUS, if you weren't the bomb-throwing tantrum-spewing mud-flinging type, we'd almost believe your on-site reporting.
Before he sends another U.S. soldier off to die or be maimed in Afghanistan, President-elect Obama needs to deliver the blunt message to the leaders of Pakistan and Afghanistan that we will no longer tolerate their complicity in the deaths of Americans and our allies, a slaughter that began on the morning of Sept. 11, 2001, and continues to this day.
You know ANONYMOUS, if you weren't the bomb-throwing tantrum-spewing mud-flinging type, we'd almost believe your on-site reporting.
To raise a question others have raised; Why should we bail out THE THREE-HEADED DOG?
Here's betting the IDIOT HANK finds the money.
Here's betting the IDIOT HANK finds the money.
What should be a one-sentence obituary turns into an eye-rolling fingernail-scratching-on-blackboard-pleasant annoyance. We doubt if the ICON Bettie made The Paper of Re-CORD ONCE before the 1990s. Perhaps, its defenders would say, that bespeaks our sexual inhibitions; but it might also bespeak a certain elemental responsibility that disappeared from our papers long ago, a basic intolerance for the eternal show-biz sales pitch. Let's face it, before the 1990s she was a pin-up girl. The old Paper of Re-CORD didn't report on pin-up girls. She made The Paper in later years because she became an ICON, an empty vessel in which to fill all sorts of multi-syllabic twaddle about society and feminism and blahblahblah, until our brains overflow with sludge, the sort of thing that helps neither ICONS nor newspaper companies in single digits. Were she but a mere pin-up girl we would salute her for at least a certain beauty (though the fang-baring bondage type isn't quite our type), but, as with that untalented nudie filmmaker named Meyers (I believe), we must think university professors, and cringe.
P. S. on 12/26/2008 at 6:17 p. m. A search in PaperofRe-CORD.com reveals no entry from before 2000 -- and most of what there are tied into the TWXSTERS' late ARTHOUSE division's pondering, which got column inches inverse to its attendance.
P. S. on 12/26/2008 at 6:17 p. m. A search in PaperofRe-CORD.com reveals no entry from before 2000 -- and most of what there are tied into the TWXSTERS' late ARTHOUSE division's pondering, which got column inches inverse to its attendance.
With the tragic tale of Bernard Madoff it is too easy to ask how far the rot extends. Perhaps rot was built in to the system. Perhaps any system of financial one-upmanship must have criminal activity built into it. We do know ten years ago this scum was another of the endless heroes boosting America into permanent prosperity. It doesn't seem so funny now.
It is, of course, possible that this scum didn't do the $50 billion in damage he claimed, wanting to make a big thing about himself to the end. Whether it's $50 million or $50 billion it's always the same old crime; only the amounts have changed.
It is, of course, possible that this scum didn't do the $50 billion in damage he claimed, wanting to make a big thing about himself to the end. Whether it's $50 million or $50 billion it's always the same old crime; only the amounts have changed.
This morning the Republicans pretentiously congratulate themselves for their "principle" (this the party of DUKE), while the Democrats pretentiously moan about the stock market because they couldn't keep their union friends in their too-expensive jobs on our dime. It's almost as if this nation deserves to fall apart.
To be sure, in this environment any decision would be the wrong one.
To be sure, in this environment any decision would be the wrong one.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
The next news hack daydream: If the Feds can't bail us out, why not...G000,000,000GLE?
(Via MediaBistro)
(Via MediaBistro)
I'm surprised no Web self-publicist has suggested sending Blago and his beloved Lady Macbeth bars of SOAP -- to wash their MOUTHS out. The resulting flood of soap bars could keep vagrants clean for years.
Then again, knowing some morons on the Web they don't talk dirty ENOUGH.
Then again, knowing some morons on the Web they don't talk dirty ENOUGH.
One of the franchisees of the British Vicarage and Tea-Time Club has banned "O Little Town of Bethlehem" from the Muzak. Mentioning things like this is like giving certain pop stars publicity, yet the Tea-Time Clubs would be the first to prohibit Israeli or Jewish suppliers from servicing their shops, so it does rankle a little.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Meantime a Texas congresspoop -- a REPUBLICAN! -- has more pressing matters on his mind: he's written a bill to outlaw the BCS.
What is the French term for excrement? We all know the ENGLISH term.
What is the French term for excrement? We all know the ENGLISH term.
Jo-NAH says about the media 'n' O. J. what I said, oh, fifteen months ago, and I don't make a zillion smackers nor have an entitlement to eternal TV face time.
Luke Spielberg becomes unfashionable and NOW Carrie says she wouldn't have taken the part?
When Fisher was just a toddler, her father left Reynolds to become one of Elizabeth Taylor’s (the Angelina Jolie of her day) serial husbands.
Once upon a time that line about Liz would have been termed an insult.
When Fisher was just a toddler, her father left Reynolds to become one of Elizabeth Taylor’s (the Angelina Jolie of her day) serial husbands.
Once upon a time that line about Liz would have been termed an insult.
I'M NOT GONNA @#$%&* QUIT! I'M NOT GONNA @#$%&* QUIT IF THAT @#$%&* PRESIDENT TELLS ME TO! I WOULDN'T @#$%&* QUIT AT THE @#$%&* END OF A @#$%&* LOADED GUN! I WOULDN'T @#$%&* QUIT IF @#$%&* GOD @#$%&* TOLD ME TO! I HAVE MORE @#$%&* POWER! WHAT THE @#$% DOES THE @#$%&* FBI KNOW ABOUT @#$%&* RUNNING A @#$%&* STATE? OR THAT @#$%&* U. S. @#$%&* ATTORNEY? THEY'LL HAVE TO @#$%&* DRAG ME OUT OF THE @#$%&* GOVERNOR'S MANSION BEFORE I @#$%&* RESIGN! LET'S @#$%&* SEE WHO HAS THE @#$%&* LAST LAUGH!
YOU DON'T @#$%&* MESS WITH @#$%&* BLAGO!
P. S. Is it me or does Blago have a vague resemblance to the acquitted killer Robert Blake?
Elsewhere from MB:
Anderson Cooper: 'TOO MUCH YELLING ON CABLE NEWS!!!!!' [Yelling added]
Whoops! We'll be quieter next time.
Anderson Cooper: 'TOO MUCH YELLING ON CABLE NEWS!!!!!' [Yelling added]
Whoops! We'll be quieter next time.
This ABSOLUTELY makes my day: You know Zeitgeist? The rag whose award-winning editor just bloviated, "THE PUBLIC BE DAMNED!!!!! WE'RE HERE TO TELL THE TRUTH!!!!!!!!!!"? The rag that decided that some bible or whatever they call it supports gay marriage? WELL!!!!! If MediaBistro doesn't link to this story saying KAPLAN INC.'s ever skinnier rag may cut its circulation by OVER 60 PERCENT -- from 2.6 MILLION TO 1 MILLION!!!!!
Now remember JonBoy, THE TRUTH has NOTHING to do with it!
P. S.
We saw it coming.
Sorry Kurt, you didn't WANT to see it coming.
P. P. S.
[S]uch a cut may be inevitable, said newsstand consultant Baird Davis.
“As we all know by now U.S. magazine circulation has been greatly expanded over the last 20 years to meet rising advertising opportunities,” Davis said. “This growth has been achieved largely by acquiring a much greater percentage of ‘non-renewable circ’ than publishers had previously employed." The expansion of non-renewable circ, combined with reduced reader demand has lowered circulation profitability and “reduced ‘reader quality’ for nearly all U.S. magazines.” [Emphasis added]
TRANSLATION: JonBoy's bosses have all but given subscriptions away -- to people who weren't much interested in the first place.
“The question now facing many publishers is to find circ levels that are more commensurate with reader demand.”
What's the closest number to zero?
As for the notion Zeitgeist can become the American Econowiz -- you don't shrink into prestige. And no, I don't think JonBoy could do a good British accent.
P. P. P. S. at 7:46 p. m. I wonder -- given the circ talk was this JonBoy's nuclear option -- to prove his rag's (ahem) relevance to the bean counters? If so I suspect said bean counters would like to nuke HIM -- not to mention the poor clerks taking all those complaints.
Now remember JonBoy, THE TRUTH has NOTHING to do with it!
P. S.
We saw it coming.
Sorry Kurt, you didn't WANT to see it coming.
P. P. S.
[S]uch a cut may be inevitable, said newsstand consultant Baird Davis.
“As we all know by now U.S. magazine circulation has been greatly expanded over the last 20 years to meet rising advertising opportunities,” Davis said. “This growth has been achieved largely by acquiring a much greater percentage of ‘non-renewable circ’ than publishers had previously employed." The expansion of non-renewable circ, combined with reduced reader demand has lowered circulation profitability and “reduced ‘reader quality’ for nearly all U.S. magazines.” [Emphasis added]
TRANSLATION: JonBoy's bosses have all but given subscriptions away -- to people who weren't much interested in the first place.
“The question now facing many publishers is to find circ levels that are more commensurate with reader demand.”
What's the closest number to zero?
As for the notion Zeitgeist can become the American Econowiz -- you don't shrink into prestige. And no, I don't think JonBoy could do a good British accent.
P. P. P. S. at 7:46 p. m. I wonder -- given the circ talk was this JonBoy's nuclear option -- to prove his rag's (ahem) relevance to the bean counters? If so I suspect said bean counters would like to nuke HIM -- not to mention the poor clerks taking all those complaints.
Blago had his own "modern-day Lady Macbeth"!
You almost have to wonder if America deserves what it's getting now.
You almost have to wonder if America deserves what it's getting now.
Another reason to hope the news biz continues its long, deep decline:
Flirting goes high-tech with racy photos shared on cellphones, Web
Just as these maroons have decided to go down with the ship all guns blazing with bias, so it appears they intend to fill in the spaces once occupied by solid reporting with pretentious head scratching and total BUNCOMBE.
Flirting goes high-tech with racy photos shared on cellphones, Web
Just as these maroons have decided to go down with the ship all guns blazing with bias, so it appears they intend to fill in the spaces once occupied by solid reporting with pretentious head scratching and total BUNCOMBE.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Tribune Co.: No Misbehavior By OUR People In Blago Scandal [SIC!!!!!]
What were YOU going to lose?
What were YOU going to lose?
Let's just pretend this publication assigned two people -- a cynical, apathetic critic and a die-hard longtime fan -- to review AC/DC's show Saturday at the Forum.
And let's just guess -- the die-hard fan wins. He often does.
And let's just guess -- the die-hard fan wins. He often does.
As we've said before, news hacks love to report on stories like this in their sarcastic superior there-are-no-morals-except-when-bean-counters-fire-us way, but effin' and jeffin' didn't do Blago much good, and we could use much less of it outside governors' offices too.
Our favorite P. R. man Rog insists The One is the winner of PEOPLE WARNER's annual newsrag-cover-publicity sweepstakes, arguing that "the editors’ big problem right now is 'finding something fresh to say'" about him, as though they ever say anything that isn't more than five weeks old in the freezer; but for the nothing it's worth if the TWXSTERS really want to make a statement they'd put on DICK FULD, RICK WAGONER and HANK!!!!! as the three wise monkeys, holding tin cups.
TRANSLATION: Baseball cards STILL aren't worth the cardboard they're printed on, regardless of how hard we hype them.
An honorary NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD (Financial Division) to Darren!
An honorary NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD (Financial Division) to Darren!
We agree: Bill Ayers is a "disgrace", but he shouldn't be denied from speaking on a college campus if invited. Before it became a fantasyland of up-is-down PC, exploding endowments and infinite conflicts of interests college was a haven of free expression. It is naive in this age of hyperpartisan tantrums to think it can stay that way. But controversial figures should be able to speak on campuses without fear of intimidation -- right AND left.
Unfortunately this "First Amendment lawyer" gives herself an out by saying that speakers shouldn't be invited if somebody's feelings might be hurt. Fine. Let's make sure it isn't always the same somebody.
Unfortunately this "First Amendment lawyer" gives herself an out by saying that speakers shouldn't be invited if somebody's feelings might be hurt. Fine. Let's make sure it isn't always the same somebody.
The ever-fatuous Mogul's Friend "reports" that THE GREATEST COMIC-BOOK MOVIE OF ALL TIME WILL get its @#$%&* Os-CAR® music NOMINATION after all. Geeks rejoice!
In CHICKENLAND, it says here, "a decade-long, property-fueled boom doubled the size of Spain’s economy and fired a generation’s hopes of lasting prosperity." Now "28 percent of young people are...out of work." How does building worthless houses create lasting prosperity?
No wonder Jeff Zuck can talk of cutting hours; he's putting Jut-Jaw on at 10 weeknights, which is the same thing.
Scum evidently won't plead guilty -- and The Daily Kaplan is DEEPLY relieved:
If the judge ultimately accepts guilty pleas, the ability of the Obama administration to transfer the case to federal court -- a desire expressed by some Obama advisers -- might be constrained, said Anthony D. Romero, executive director of the American Civil Liberties Union. That could mean the new administration may have to oversee an execution resulting from a process that many Obama supporters and legal advisers regard as deeply flawed.
TRANSLATION: The One's gang doesn't want them executed because we WATERBOARDED them. BLITHERING IDIOTS.
If the judge ultimately accepts guilty pleas, the ability of the Obama administration to transfer the case to federal court -- a desire expressed by some Obama advisers -- might be constrained, said Anthony D. Romero, executive director of the American Civil Liberties Union. That could mean the new administration may have to oversee an execution resulting from a process that many Obama supporters and legal advisers regard as deeply flawed.
TRANSLATION: The One's gang doesn't want them executed because we WATERBOARDED them. BLITHERING IDIOTS.
Monday, December 08, 2008
Con-SER-va-tives still refuse to admit THEIR side had something to do with THE ECONOMY. Keep on gassing like this, guys, and the GOP may have to wait 500 YEARS to get back into office -- if what your side DIDN'T HELP DO hasn't DESTROYED AMERICA in the meantime.
Excellent news!
Zucker says NBC may cut programming hours
But what will CEOs who need an outlet for their megalomania do?
Zucker says NBC may cut programming hours
But what will CEOs who need an outlet for their megalomania do?
And in more cruelty -- from the Trib:
Wow! Victoria Principal looked like that?
Wow! Victoria Principal looked like that?
We wonder if we ought to give these 9/11 cockroaches life. We're of two minds about it: they would live while their victims are dead. Then again it would deny them their chance at "martyrdom", which would be richly deserved cruel and unusual punishment while looking the other way.
Then again the ACLU might step in, which would make the death penalty very appealing.
Then again the ACLU might step in, which would make the death penalty very appealing.
Just $15B left of first $350B of government bailout
Wow! AIG went through it FAST! Pfffffffffffffffffffft!
Wow! AIG went through it FAST! Pfffffffffffffffffffft!
Slashdot -- again:
Nobel Winner Says Internet Might Have Stopped Hitler
So let's get in our time machine and find out!
Nobel Winner Says Internet Might Have Stopped Hitler
So let's get in our time machine and find out!
It is strange that INBEV should refer to creating the world's largest beer company as an "unfortunate time." (Let us say the misfortune wasn't spread around very evenly.) We will see just how unfortunate it is in the zillions wasted on bad TV, and then in INBEV's stock price, which has suffered some hubristic misfortune of its own already.
Before we acclaim SLIME as the greatest thing since sliced brie or whatever (and that because He agrees with us, which is just another way of saying He's a scummy opportunist), let us remember He bought TV GUIDE for $9.2 BILLION. It recently sold for $1 and LIABILITIES.
(Via MediaBistro)
(Via MediaBistro)
MADDENING: If PEOPLENEWSRAG.com is going to be about nothing but slide shows and viral videos it has no more reason to exist than its dying PARENT RAG.
And in another reason the press deserves to die off, Page Six alternates between running whoppers and press releases. We don't count on that happening, however, as for one thing SLIME is immortal.
Elsewhere in TNR, a former PAPER OF RE-CORD correspondent and Assistant Secretary of Foggy Bottom for JIMMAH suggests we should let the Taliban rule in Afghanistan, so we can have "peace". Brilliant idea, Les, sorta like letting the holy cockroaches run Iran -- because we wanted what we thought was "peace."
And if The One accepts the idea, of course the hacks will say nothing, which is one reason why the newspaper biz deserves to die off.
And if The One accepts the idea, of course the hacks will say nothing, which is one reason why the newspaper biz deserves to die off.
Cut the comedy, Mark: You and other JERNALISTS want a NEWSPAPER INDUSTRY BAILOUT. If the Big Three can be bailed out for not giving the public what it wants, why not news hacks? A "Federal Writers' Project" is only the first step toward requesting the huge bailout your comrades firmly desire -- and definitely do NOT deserve.
Sunday, December 07, 2008
The mass incineration of money is not just a GUVMENT thing -- RICHIE RICHES invented it. So when Gor-DON Getty, Ron "SLICK!" Burkle, the father of Frisco's fool mayor, former NFL players (!), "top hedge funds" (!!!!!) and others allowed a "visionary" druggie to burn $340 million of their money on a high-tech investor-scamming machine they merely demonstrated, yet again, that the rich, they are different from you and me. They are IDIOTS.
If it's Sunday it must be Big Double-A-Scribble Time:
1. Astonishingly there has come the point where THE ECONOMY (and is THE ECONOMY becoming a code word for THE DEPRESSION?) is forcing even advertisers, the least sensible people on earth, to face the mirror -- and not the funhouse mirror they use either. That Honda ran from Formula One and sponsors are bailing out of NASCAR in droves says plastering your name on a car may NOT lead to increased sales; and we would like to think when times improve the advertisers, still being chastened, won't rush back. We would also like to think NASCAR's prodigious marketing muscle-flexing, and especially its SLIME-fed desire to chase the rednecks out of the "sport", may have instead chased plain old fans away, but probably it's just a cyclical thing. Whether it can make a comeback with a decimated Big Three is another matter. We want a strong auto biz, and we hope not.
2. Another "sporting" event long overdue for a correction is THE GAMES, and it too may be getting one. If we were a CEO we'd balance out the pleasure of a paid three-month vacation to its cost. That THE GAMES are strictly for marketing boneheads goes without saying; putting someone on a box of Wheaties strikes us as a pretty poor ROI. But the paid vacations still tip the balance. We suggest the vastly increasing cost for these mu-ni-CI-pal onanisms may someday tip it the other way, especially for the AVERY BRANDAGES of GE BANCORP's IOC unit.
3. And look who else is PRAYING for a government bailout of the auto biz:
Car marketers and dealers might know the value of a flashy TV ad campaign, but the question is whether the public will understand that it's an investment.
It's an investment, all right -- an investment in JUNK TELEVISION; an investment in SCHMOOZING; an investment in EGOMANIA. How much has all this INVESTING in look-alike ads for look-alike cars hurt the automakers' cause?
4. Finally, this curious sociological observation in a tale about Walmart:
[Lower-caste] consumers were getting squeezed big time only a year ago. But now the shoe is on the other foot: The brunt of the economic turmoil of the past three months is falling on wealthier people who own stocks or mutual funds or work in financial services, and who are less likely to shop at Walmart.
By contrast, for the core Walmart lower- and middle-income shopper, "all the turmoil in the stock market doesn't impact them," said Ms. Corlett, "unless they're getting close to retirement or have saved up to put kids through school."
I think it's time for the Wall Street Casino to wreak REVENGE.
1. Astonishingly there has come the point where THE ECONOMY (and is THE ECONOMY becoming a code word for THE DEPRESSION?) is forcing even advertisers, the least sensible people on earth, to face the mirror -- and not the funhouse mirror they use either. That Honda ran from Formula One and sponsors are bailing out of NASCAR in droves says plastering your name on a car may NOT lead to increased sales; and we would like to think when times improve the advertisers, still being chastened, won't rush back. We would also like to think NASCAR's prodigious marketing muscle-flexing, and especially its SLIME-fed desire to chase the rednecks out of the "sport", may have instead chased plain old fans away, but probably it's just a cyclical thing. Whether it can make a comeback with a decimated Big Three is another matter. We want a strong auto biz, and we hope not.
2. Another "sporting" event long overdue for a correction is THE GAMES, and it too may be getting one. If we were a CEO we'd balance out the pleasure of a paid three-month vacation to its cost. That THE GAMES are strictly for marketing boneheads goes without saying; putting someone on a box of Wheaties strikes us as a pretty poor ROI. But the paid vacations still tip the balance. We suggest the vastly increasing cost for these mu-ni-CI-pal onanisms may someday tip it the other way, especially for the AVERY BRANDAGES of GE BANCORP's IOC unit.
3. And look who else is PRAYING for a government bailout of the auto biz:
Car marketers and dealers might know the value of a flashy TV ad campaign, but the question is whether the public will understand that it's an investment.
It's an investment, all right -- an investment in JUNK TELEVISION; an investment in SCHMOOZING; an investment in EGOMANIA. How much has all this INVESTING in look-alike ads for look-alike cars hurt the automakers' cause?
4. Finally, this curious sociological observation in a tale about Walmart:
[Lower-caste] consumers were getting squeezed big time only a year ago. But now the shoe is on the other foot: The brunt of the economic turmoil of the past three months is falling on wealthier people who own stocks or mutual funds or work in financial services, and who are less likely to shop at Walmart.
By contrast, for the core Walmart lower- and middle-income shopper, "all the turmoil in the stock market doesn't impact them," said Ms. Corlett, "unless they're getting close to retirement or have saved up to put kids through school."
I think it's time for the Wall Street Casino to wreak REVENGE.
Some typist wants us to rush into Cuba's arms because we did a bad thing at Guantanamo, or for whatever the reason. Maybe the embargo has gone on for too long. Maybe could have brought down the regime in '89. Or maybe we could have done to it what we're doing with the Chinese -- sponsored state tyranny for profit. The latter seems an all-too-likely possibility, now.
See St., when you guys start telling us how to think, and worse, tell us how much better you are than the RETARDS who BUY your line, you make us think -- why can't you engage in all advertising all the time -- like the TWXSTERS for their joint venture ROWLINGCORP? That's your second line -- and in many ways it's becoming your FIRST.
Okay, St. Warren, we get the message: people opposed to gay marriage are intolerant. (Although citing an "emeritus professor at the Columbia School of Theology" and the United Church of Christ may not help the case.) But seeing You're an expert at holiness, St., answer me this: What does the Bible have to say about -- Kaplan Inc. down 60 percent in a year? Or MNI at $2? Or NYT at a little over $7.50? Or GCI around $9? (And they've all come off lows, dammit.)
I think we know what the Bible says: THE PUBLIC BE DAMNED! WE'RE HERE TO TELL THE TRUTH!!!!!
P. S. MNI's putting the former flaghsip of KnightRidder on the block. It thinks it can get big bucks for its "prime waterfront real estate." In FLORIDA! GOOD LUCK!!
I think we know what the Bible says: THE PUBLIC BE DAMNED! WE'RE HERE TO TELL THE TRUTH!!!!!
P. S. MNI's putting the former flaghsip of KnightRidder on the block. It thinks it can get big bucks for its "prime waterfront real estate." In FLORIDA! GOOD LUCK!!
MB2, employee of broadcasters, throws another fit over the Fairness Doctrine.
And how much money did candidates waste on TV in 2008?
And how much money did candidates waste on TV in 2008?