THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Saturday, January 05, 2008
An Asian-born bishop declares the hard-core Muslims have set up "no-go zones" in merrie olde Englande, which gets one of the usual gang of microphone hoarders screaming "EXTREME INTOLERANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", which means there are no-go zones in merrie olde Englande, and the European caliphate inches a little closer.
To help prevent this British Muslim women are being given "assertiveness courses", which seems a dubious cause given the special place women have in Islam. Natch, the microphone hoarders are screaming here too.
(Telegraph story via ASSPress)
To help prevent this British Muslim women are being given "assertiveness courses", which seems a dubious cause given the special place women have in Islam. Natch, the microphone hoarders are screaming here too.
(Telegraph story via ASSPress)
In SIX PAGES Zeitgeist tells us nothing but how JFK is such a good guy. We don't expect newsrags to tell us anything -- and especially with stories that claim THINKER ALTER and Eleh-NOWAH among the contributors, who've served for too many Democratic campaigns with Zeitgeist, and too many campaigns period.
Now that JFK has won the election, anyone for his cabinet? Can't be Hill's or Slickster's gang; but we'd suspect he'd choose a lot of people who are unknown right now, but whose bonafides tend toward the squooshy end of the left-wing political spectrum. One thing's clear: if JFK goes hard left, he has a short honeymoon -- regardless of how few Republican Congresspoops he faces.
And who'll be his veep? It has to be someone warm and fuzzy from the South, but not too warm and fuzzy. Anyone for Lenny's favorite Mr. Webb?
Or how about Oprah?
Well we already have an answer on his cabinet, from the Republican side: Dick Lugar, Hole-in-the-Bagel -- and AHNULT. When the going gets tough, these guys will GET GOING.
And who'll be his veep? It has to be someone warm and fuzzy from the South, but not too warm and fuzzy. Anyone for Lenny's favorite Mr. Webb?
Or how about Oprah?
Well we already have an answer on his cabinet, from the Republican side: Dick Lugar, Hole-in-the-Bagel -- and AHNULT. When the going gets tough, these guys will GET GOING.
Well, here's your future, Eddie -- a future where our cities are dominated by vast non-profits like KOLLEDGES, which, if they choose to improve the surrounding communities with their tuition-supported largesse, do so haltingly...or maybe not at all.
“There are no corporate citizens left in New Haven except Yale,” Mr. Levin, the university president, said.
And of how many other towns can we say "ditto"?
“There are no corporate citizens left in New Haven except Yale,” Mr. Levin, the university president, said.
And of how many other towns can we say "ditto"?
An epitaph for an era:
Her steamy Sixties hit Je t'aime made Jane Birkin a sex icon for a whole generation, but now the British-born actress has admitted that she never liked the song.
In an unusually candid interview the 61-year-old has revealed that she felt used by her then husband, Serge Gainsbourg, the film director and artist who wrote the song for her - and that she would have far preferred a career as a nurse....
And for all her status as a sex goddess, the actress's own experience of the sexual revolution was far from liberating.
While [her first husband John] Barry worked in America, the pregnant Ms Birkin was left in Paris, where student protesters were rocking the city. "I waited for him with my huge stomach. That was my sexual revolution," she said.
Her steamy Sixties hit Je t'aime made Jane Birkin a sex icon for a whole generation, but now the British-born actress has admitted that she never liked the song.
In an unusually candid interview the 61-year-old has revealed that she felt used by her then husband, Serge Gainsbourg, the film director and artist who wrote the song for her - and that she would have far preferred a career as a nurse....
And for all her status as a sex goddess, the actress's own experience of the sexual revolution was far from liberating.
While [her first husband John] Barry worked in America, the pregnant Ms Birkin was left in Paris, where student protesters were rocking the city. "I waited for him with my huge stomach. That was my sexual revolution," she said.
Obama Cheered, Clinton Booed at Forum
Hillary Clinton looked around the gym at Merrimack High School in Penacook, N.H., this morning, and didn't like what she saw -- empty chairs, empty bleachers. She urged her aides to go get some of the scores of people waiting in the hallways and outside on the sidewalk.
Is this campaign over already?
Hillary Clinton looked around the gym at Merrimack High School in Penacook, N.H., this morning, and didn't like what she saw -- empty chairs, empty bleachers. She urged her aides to go get some of the scores of people waiting in the hallways and outside on the sidewalk.
Is this campaign over already?
"He was just messing around is what we're being told," he said.
Alas, the perfect eulogy for any [C]RAPPER.
Alas, the perfect eulogy for any [C]RAPPER.
Ozzy auditions as CNN announcer 
Yep, I think it stopped being about the news sometime before Mouth of the South founded it.
Yep, I think it stopped being about the news sometime before Mouth of the South founded it.
Elsewhere in The Biz That Gives Us the Biz -- and we must do something about our Variety fixation -- two Brian Lowrys and a Pamela (that's how it's bylined) do a mighty thinker pose wondering why there's such a mammoth split at the Os-CARs® between the WIDE-EYED ARM-WAVING ENTHUSIASTS' faves and the hits. Of course in stories like this the answer must be something as inoffensive and as diminutive of culpability as possible, so two Brian Lowrys and a Pamela say -- it's the water. It's something about the way the water's treated in LALA. That or it's the marketing. Yes! Marketing! Or maybe it's the -- well actually they don't say what it is, which should serve them well with Roger Bart's uncle.
Shucks, Three Strikes, er, Fourth and Long, er, "Tom Cruise's" United Artists subsidiary of United Artists is about to reach a deal with the Fantasy and Profanity League, which, at any rate, means a second-place late-night show and a fifth-rate studio down, thousands and thousands to go.
If this article may be believed the housing BOOM has played tricks on the Overaged Adolescent's Gadget Show; no must-have gadgets this year. But heck there's always next year, and more ways first-adopters can waste their millions, and yield the floor to the rest of us.
Wilford Brimley [Ramesh Ponnuru]
Did you know that he's supporting McCain?
01/04 09:03 PM
Did you know he's still alive?
Did you know that he's supporting McCain?
01/04 09:03 PM
Did you know he's still alive?
Speaking of:
"Senator Clinton needs to make this campaign about her vision, her plans and her strengths," says Brazile.
The candidate's husband, meanwhile, tends to ramble on about himself.
We KNOW, we KNOW.
"Senator Clinton needs to make this campaign about her vision, her plans and her strengths," says Brazile.
The candidate's husband, meanwhile, tends to ramble on about himself.
We KNOW, we KNOW.
This would be a brilliant idea, Hill: appoint your Slickster to the Nine Fingers. We know you'd want to do it to get him out of your hair -- but honest, don't you think that two-for-one biz may have cost you a few votes the other day?
Aside from that he was impeached, political or no.
Aside from that he was impeached, political or no.
Chicago woman, 114, registers to vote
Given how many others that age can vote in Chicago this is still an achievement.
Given how many others that age can vote in Chicago this is still an achievement.
Friday, January 04, 2008
If the British government can waste billions of pounds on bungled IT projects -- think how much we can waste!
Top of the ministries for wasting public money is the Department for Work and Pensions, which is responsible for squandering more than £1.6bn by abandoning three major schemes — a new benefit card which was based on outdated technology; the upgrade to the CSA's computer which could not handle 1.2m existing claims; and a £140m streamlined benefit payment system that never worked properly.
The Department for Work and Pensions. Figures.
Top of the ministries for wasting public money is the Department for Work and Pensions, which is responsible for squandering more than £1.6bn by abandoning three major schemes — a new benefit card which was based on outdated technology; the upgrade to the CSA's computer which could not handle 1.2m existing claims; and a £140m streamlined benefit payment system that never worked properly.
The Department for Work and Pensions. Figures.
Something news hacks will never tell -- how many voted for OPRAH?
Because we think Jonny Hairshirt a ninny doesn't mean he can't be right. The excitement of this fifty-state Triple Crown of politics seems to have obscured a few things, like where the candidates stand on some issues. Agree or disagree with the Center for Military Readiness, we may have to confront the idea of our armed forces as one big PC social-services organization if a Democrat wins, although most likely the hacks will do their best to obscure it as they help the winner through with his "mandate".
It's a little late, but here's an AP NEWS ALERT!!!!!
WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Bush says that while there is some concern about slowing economic growth "financial markets are strong and solid."
Yep, he's talking with GEKKO.
WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Bush says that while there is some concern about slowing economic growth "financial markets are strong and solid."
Yep, he's talking with GEKKO.
Passenger jets get anti-missile devices
Oh well, I guess it had to come to this, didn't it.
This will NOT stop the frisking of babies and grandmas. If anything if I know Der Homeland it will cause it to be MORE incompet -- vigilant.
Oh well, I guess it had to come to this, didn't it.
This will NOT stop the frisking of babies and grandmas. If anything if I know Der Homeland it will cause it to be MORE incompet -- vigilant.
Anonymous and the TWXSTERS BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP:
Obama's Historic Victory
It's just one win, but Joe Klein says January 3rd, 2008 may mark the end of the politics of race — and baby boomers [Home-page tease]
Baby boomer is an American-English term to describe a person born between 1946 and 1964[1] (also known as the "Ungrateful Generation" [2] [3]).
Barack Obama — Born: August 4, 1961 (1961-08-04) (age 45) Honolulu, Hawaii [SIC]
Obama's Historic Victory
It's just one win, but Joe Klein says January 3rd, 2008 may mark the end of the politics of race — and baby boomers [Home-page tease]
Baby boomer is an American-English term to describe a person born between 1946 and 1964[1] (also known as the "Ungrateful Generation" [2] [3]).
Barack Obama — Born: August 4, 1961 (1961-08-04) (age 45) Honolulu, Hawaii [SIC]
Okay, okay, he won, he won, this is historic, it will change the face of the universe forever and ever, BUT:
Obama's victory was much narrower in the race for delegates. The AP analysis estimated Obama would win 16 delegates, compared to 15 for Clinton and 14 for Edwards. Clinton will win more delegates than Edwards, despite getting fewer votes, because of Iowa's complicated caucus system.
In the overall race for the nomination, Clinton leads with 175 delegates, including superdelegates, followed by Obama with 75 and Edwards with 46. [TWENTIETH AND TWENTY-FIRST GRAFS FROM THE ASSPRESS]
Could we wait a little bit to declare a winner? Of course not. We're the perennial winners.
Obama's victory was much narrower in the race for delegates. The AP analysis estimated Obama would win 16 delegates, compared to 15 for Clinton and 14 for Edwards. Clinton will win more delegates than Edwards, despite getting fewer votes, because of Iowa's complicated caucus system.
In the overall race for the nomination, Clinton leads with 175 delegates, including superdelegates, followed by Obama with 75 and Edwards with 46. [TWENTIETH AND TWENTY-FIRST GRAFS FROM THE ASSPRESS]
Could we wait a little bit to declare a winner? Of course not. We're the perennial winners.
As he prepares to become the best-paid ex-prez in history, Dubya's considering a "stimulus package." And how much of the store can we give away here, Dubya? Is GEKKO KUDLOW consulting you?
Although with the unemployment rate up so are the chances JFK LINCOLN!!!!! will win the White House.
Although with the unemployment rate up so are the chances JFK LINCOLN!!!!! will win the White House.
ROOTKIT MUSIC CO.'S ABANDONING DRM!
The recorded...SOUND biz is finally waving the white flag to its customers. We can only hope this means what it could mean -- no more critical mass for JUNK.
The recorded...SOUND biz is finally waving the white flag to its customers. We can only hope this means what it could mean -- no more critical mass for JUNK.
Paramount Pete's PRO-BIZ RAG (so THE IMMORTAL NIKKI always reminds us) senses doubt among the members of the Fantasy and Profanity League.
That's okay -- KEEP STRIKING! Strike until there are no more spoils left to divvy!
That's okay -- KEEP STRIKING! Strike until there are no more spoils left to divvy!
Thursday, January 03, 2008
The Iowans were impressed with Hucklechuckle's picket-line crossing! Hucklechuckle's the nominee!!!!!
Er, not yet....
(So sez CNN, anyway.)
And we have a three -- er, person race on the other side -- and Rudy can go back to the Big Apple! He's finished!!!!!
Will anyone believe the monumental claptrap after any more than anyone's believed the monumental claptrap before?
Er, not yet....
(So sez CNN, anyway.)
And we have a three -- er, person race on the other side -- and Rudy can go back to the Big Apple! He's finished!!!!!
Will anyone believe the monumental claptrap after any more than anyone's believed the monumental claptrap before?
Long, costly campaigning is at end; now it's up to Iowans
Wrong: the length and the cost have just begun.
So (if we can believe this) have the lies.
Wrong: the length and the cost have just begun.
So (if we can believe this) have the lies.
News from the Anal Retentives' Toy Fest:
At the show, the EPA will be announcing a campaign to provide consumers with more places to turn in cell phones for recycling, in partnership with manufacturers and retailers. The agency puts the number of unused cell phones lingering in drawers at 100 million.
Good luck!
At the show, the EPA will be announcing a campaign to provide consumers with more places to turn in cell phones for recycling, in partnership with manufacturers and retailers. The agency puts the number of unused cell phones lingering in drawers at 100 million.
Good luck!
Musharraf Says Bhutto Took Excessive Risks
Oh, so that's why you were in such a hurry cleaning the crime scene.
Oh, so that's why you were in such a hurry cleaning the crime scene.
D-U-M-M Hed of the Week:
Ouch! Cervical Cancer Shots Painful
We'd wager cervical cancer can be pretty painful too.
Ouch! Cervical Cancer Shots Painful
We'd wager cervical cancer can be pretty painful too.
Columnist Barry says he'll be more productive in 2008
TRANSLATION: Whatever happened to Daa-aave Barry?
TRANSLATION: Whatever happened to Daa-aave Barry?
Editorials say Iowa too unrepresentative
Yep, it's official -- this is definitely CW.
We know how that flatulent fool Kaus feels when he's busy screaming that something's CW, only to scream again when the anti-CW becomes CW -- but dammit, people like Jeff Greenfield don't think, they preen -- and he's quoted first.
Yep, it's official -- this is definitely CW.
We know how that flatulent fool Kaus feels when he's busy screaming that something's CW, only to scream again when the anti-CW becomes CW -- but dammit, people like Jeff Greenfield don't think, they preen -- and he's quoted first.
The Weather Channel's up for sale!
With any luck the successful bidder can pass the costs onto US!
Ka-CHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Via MediaBistro)
With any luck the successful bidder can pass the costs onto US!
Ka-CHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Via MediaBistro)
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
"Every headline these days is so hard and sad," says Gabler.
So why, factotum of SLIME, do you our superiors always have to go hard and angry and simple-minded on us with TENTPOLES like ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN?!?!?
Why in God's name can't THIS industry have a twenty-percent slump?
So why, factotum of SLIME, do you our superiors always have to go hard and angry and simple-minded on us with TENTPOLES like ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN?!?!?
Why in God's name can't THIS industry have a twenty-percent slump?
Huck MAY! MAY NOT! cross a picket line!
He can always boast in his ads.
GOP hopeful Huckabee appeared confused over which of the two late-night hosts had reached a separate deal with the union representing striking TV and movie writers.
Huckabee said he supports the writers and did not think he would be crossing a picket line, because he believed the writers had made an agreement to allow late-night shows on the air. That's not the case with Leno, and pickets outside Leno's Burbank, Calif., studio targeted Huckabee.
"Huckabee is a scab," read one picket sign.
As I said....
This man wants to be president?!?!?
P. S. at 9:33 p.m. He crossed after all!
"'Hmmm' and 'Oh.'" Our new Lincoln speaks!
Ms. TRAVERS!!!!! Think we can spare Huck some praise?
He can always boast in his ads.
GOP hopeful Huckabee appeared confused over which of the two late-night hosts had reached a separate deal with the union representing striking TV and movie writers.
Huckabee said he supports the writers and did not think he would be crossing a picket line, because he believed the writers had made an agreement to allow late-night shows on the air. That's not the case with Leno, and pickets outside Leno's Burbank, Calif., studio targeted Huckabee.
"Huckabee is a scab," read one picket sign.
As I said....
This man wants to be president?!?!?
P. S. at 9:33 p.m. He crossed after all!
"'Hmmm' and 'Oh.'" Our new Lincoln speaks!
Ms. TRAVERS!!!!! Think we can spare Huck some praise?
The dirty old man in me confesses he wishes he could see a scene like this in our streets now and then; on the other hand, he would not want to be one of these young -- women the day after, especially with her face...plastered on the Web; nor, he would further say, would he want to be a Briton, however entertaining public near-nudity of young -- women is.
(MS. TRAVERS DID IT!!!!!)
Next on the West End -- and soon to come west to Branson East -- A MEATLOAF MUSICAL!!!!!
Funding and artistic involvement from Sony/BMG, Warner Brothers and Industrial Light and Magic (in their first stage venture) could also be in the works, according to Steinman.
And among them they can't carry a tune -- but LUKE SPIELBERG can sure hum a mean $.
Funding and artistic involvement from Sony/BMG, Warner Brothers and Industrial Light and Magic (in their first stage venture) could also be in the works, according to Steinman.
And among them they can't carry a tune -- but LUKE SPIELBERG can sure hum a mean $.
Mr. Catch-Phrase-in-a-White-Suit is writing a new book -- through a new publisher, for it seems his last book (remember? The one about the horny coed that was supposed to have a larger message? The one that won the Bad Sex in Fiction prize?) lost money, and gadzooks! The prestigious publishing house wanted to offer less of an advance!
I wish I could make that kind of money coining catch phrases.
I wish I could make that kind of money coining catch phrases.
Oops! I see Jeff "Mensa-Man" Greenfield and Jack "McLaughlin Group" Germond say the Iowa caucuses are repugnant. In fact so many people are saying they're repugnant it's starting to ossify into CW. Anyone for defending them?
Gov. Ad-Genius will be crossing a picket line!
Any instant polls on how this will improve his standing?
Any instant polls on how this will improve his standing?
Why am I thinking THE WORLD'S GREATEST COMEDIAN is on the verge of becoming THE WORLD'S MOST OVERRATED DRAMATIC AC-TOR?
Mark my words -- he plays Shylock on Branson East someday, and the WIDE-EYED ARM-WAVING ENTHUSIASTS will think they've seen the MESSIAH.
(Via The Big V!)
Mark my words -- he plays Shylock on Branson East someday, and the WIDE-EYED ARM-WAVING ENTHUSIASTS will think they've seen the MESSIAH.
(Via The Big V!)
"An absolute disgrace" indeed -- a disgrace that, with its Armageddon-like media firepower and minority-of-a-minority voting, will appoint our next president.
Why we NEED bloggers:
I can't help thinking that Huckabee and his team saw the floating cross ad response and thought, great! How can re replicate this? Huge media pickup, of the ad and of Huckabee's statement about the ad. Ask Huckabee about this on cable, Chris Matthews, and he'll be only too happy to tell you about how weary real Americans are of consultants and their negative ads! How he's turning the other cheek on Romney, so desperate that he needed to rush a few millions more into ads to counter Huckabee's natural swelling popularity! The media can laugh at Huckabee all they want, and feel smug that they can see through such a transparent ploy. But after a day of blanket coverage, I can't help thinking that it just might be Huckabee who has the last laugh.
If so, it was a mighty expensive joke.
Huckabee isn't running the ad, which means he isn't paying for it.
If I could tally all the times SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS and their companions paraded their ignorance....
(First link via MediaBistro)
I can't help thinking that Huckabee and his team saw the floating cross ad response and thought, great! How can re replicate this? Huge media pickup, of the ad and of Huckabee's statement about the ad. Ask Huckabee about this on cable, Chris Matthews, and he'll be only too happy to tell you about how weary real Americans are of consultants and their negative ads! How he's turning the other cheek on Romney, so desperate that he needed to rush a few millions more into ads to counter Huckabee's natural swelling popularity! The media can laugh at Huckabee all they want, and feel smug that they can see through such a transparent ploy. But after a day of blanket coverage, I can't help thinking that it just might be Huckabee who has the last laugh.
If so, it was a mighty expensive joke.
Huckabee isn't running the ad, which means he isn't paying for it.
If I could tally all the times SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS and their companions paraded their ignorance....
(First link via MediaBistro)
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Honorary President Mike needs signatures -- and so....
The mayor’s aides are confident that he can do it, and that he would deploy armies of paid signature-gatherers nationwide if he runs. The foot soldiers are typically paid about $2 for every signature collected, though sometimes higher if their services are in heavy demand.
And with about 650,000 signatures needed nationwide, the bill would come to a minimum of $1.3 million — pocket change for the billionaire mayor.
Which, if we had to guess, He can get someone else to pay for.
The mayor’s aides are confident that he can do it, and that he would deploy armies of paid signature-gatherers nationwide if he runs. The foot soldiers are typically paid about $2 for every signature collected, though sometimes higher if their services are in heavy demand.
And with about 650,000 signatures needed nationwide, the bill would come to a minimum of $1.3 million — pocket change for the billionaire mayor.
Which, if we had to guess, He can get someone else to pay for.
It's time to step up, Fred. Conservatives need a leader about whom we have no major reservations.
It's time to step down, Fred.
It's time to step down, Fred.
Duuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh, like how were we to know it was some poet, man?
And I fear given the free use of the write-by-numbers word "iconic" here that whoever wrote and edited this may not know who the poet was either.
And I fear given the free use of the write-by-numbers word "iconic" here that whoever wrote and edited this may not know who the poet was either.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Office of Sen. Charles E. Schumer, via Associated Press [Photo credit]
Smile Chuck -- and wave hi to the camera!
The Modern Language Association frequently helps out its critics with provocative session titles and left-leaning political stands offered by its members. At this year’s annual meeting, in Chicago, some MLA members have worried that the association was poised to take stances that would have sent David Horowitz’s fund raising through the roof with resolutions that appeared to be anti-Israel and pro-Ward Churchill.
But in moves that infuriated the MLA’s Radical Caucus, the association’s Delegate Assembly refused to pass those resolutions and instead adopted much narrower measures. The association acknowledged tensions over the Middle East on campus, but in a resolution that did not single out pro-Israel groups for criticism. And the association criticized the University of Colorado for the way it started its investigation of Ward Churchill, but took no stand on whether the outcome (his firing) was appropriate.
But in moves that infuriated the MLA’s Radical Caucus, the association’s Delegate Assembly refused to pass those resolutions and instead adopted much narrower measures. The association acknowledged tensions over the Middle East on campus, but in a resolution that did not single out pro-Israel groups for criticism. And the association criticized the University of Colorado for the way it started its investigation of Ward Churchill, but took no stand on whether the outcome (his firing) was appropriate.
Speaking of ROMY a small state university we wouldn't hear of otherwise has put out its annual list of annoying words, and we would agree "perfect storm", "Webinar", "Black Friday", "emotional", "it is what it is" and "under the bus" should be expelled from the language, meaning of course they'll be overused even more than ever.
(Via ASSPress, which specializes in making words annoying)
(Via ASSPress, which specializes in making words annoying)
I wish I knew what John Hockenberry wrote about in 6,101 WORDS. I think he's sad that Ed Murrow died. That and he appears to be mad that GE BANCORP NETWORK won't do investigative reports. I don't think we need decades of experience in BIGMEDIA to write this. Evidently though ROMY thinks we need the 6,101 WORDS because he linked to them.
Coming on the heels of another link to a story about a WaPostie who did crack on the job this may not be such a hot juxtaposition.
Coming on the heels of another link to a story about a WaPostie who did crack on the job this may not be such a hot juxtaposition.
A somehow fitting eulogy to three great writers:
Just as Mailer, with his mock bravado, seemed to wrestle the world into submission, and Paley stepped back and observed its foibles wryly, Vonnegut, at heart a child of the Midwest, took full measure of the damage the world could do to simple values and the people who held them. With their accumulated wisdom, these three writers' living presence mattered, but we might miss them more if they had not left so much behind. [LAST GRAF]
(Via ArtsJournal)
Just as Mailer, with his mock bravado, seemed to wrestle the world into submission, and Paley stepped back and observed its foibles wryly, Vonnegut, at heart a child of the Midwest, took full measure of the damage the world could do to simple values and the people who held them. With their accumulated wisdom, these three writers' living presence mattered, but we might miss them more if they had not left so much behind. [LAST GRAF]
(Via ArtsJournal)
"Commercials insult my intelligence, make fun of people (mostly men), talk in poor grammar and clichés and perpetuate stereotypes," wrote reader Janice Brown, a technology marketing consultant in Wentworth, N.H. "If you have any respect for yourself, you will turn off your TV permanently."
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEN!!!!!
Nick Law, North American chief creative director at ad agency R/GA, was even more Scrooge-like. When asked for an ad that made him misty-eyed, he responded: "Nothing. Advertising has turned my soul as black as coal."
I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF MEDIA TYPES APOLOGIZING FOR THEIR SUPERIORITY TO THE HUMAN RACE!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEN!!!!!
Nick Law, North American chief creative director at ad agency R/GA, was even more Scrooge-like. When asked for an ad that made him misty-eyed, he responded: "Nothing. Advertising has turned my soul as black as coal."
I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF MEDIA TYPES APOLOGIZING FOR THEIR SUPERIORITY TO THE HUMAN RACE!
New York Mayor Bloomberg's idea for a summit meeting of aging moderate poobahs to discuss an independent third party seems a bit moldy to me.
NO COMMENT, ANONYMOUS.
NO COMMENT, ANONYMOUS.
TRANSLATION: Honorary President Bloomy's really starting to love the sound of his own voice!
"Unless something extraordinary happens, I expect him in the race," Forbes said. "I think he'll be formidable."
FURTHER TRANSLATION: The last billionaire to run screwed up the election too.
P. S. Sam Nunn, David Boren, William "The Crying Novelist" Cohen, Gary Hart, Christie "Whitless" Whitman, Bill Brock, Ham Jordan -- can't some people stay retired?
P. P. S. I predict if the news hacks and the retired political hacks get Honorary to run he takes more votes away from Democrats. There aren't that many Republicans with COURAGE.
"Unless something extraordinary happens, I expect him in the race," Forbes said. "I think he'll be formidable."
FURTHER TRANSLATION: The last billionaire to run screwed up the election too.
P. S. Sam Nunn, David Boren, William "The Crying Novelist" Cohen, Gary Hart, Christie "Whitless" Whitman, Bill Brock, Ham Jordan -- can't some people stay retired?
P. P. S. I predict if the news hacks and the retired political hacks get Honorary to run he takes more votes away from Democrats. There aren't that many Republicans with COURAGE.
“I love saying this,” he began in Sergeant Bluff. “I never had a nickel to my name until I got to the White House, and I was broker when I left than when I came in. I had the lowest net worth of any president of the United States.”
TRANSLATION: It PAYS to be ex-president!
TRANSLATION: It PAYS to be ex-president!
Tribco in LALALand is trying to add to its CV by being a flackhouse for Vegas. Now the rag touts how Sin City is spending umpteen zillions to be HIP. There's a story here someplace, and it's probably not an entirely flattering one -- after all, one of the big developments, Kirk Kevor...KERKORIAN's CityCenter, was predicated on the HOUSING BOOM -- but even if Vegas is "upupUP", as with riots in Kenya we don't expect the hacks to have the slightest idea what any of it means.
Our flack also touts that Vegas is becoming an exclusive playground for the megarich, which should especially help when the rest of the world has a recession.
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO DEBORA!
Our flack also touts that Vegas is becoming an exclusive playground for the megarich, which should especially help when the rest of the world has a recession.
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO DEBORA!
More people have died in rioting in Kenya than died in the rioting in Pakistan. Is this significant? Does it say anything? If only we knew; news hacks don't give us a chance.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Twenty years ago, before the Web, before $17 a share, Pinch might have shaken His head sympathetically to NO SNITCHIN'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is a measure of how disgusted we have grown with news hacks -- as disgusted as those bereaved ghetto residents at incompetent law enforcement and cowardly neighbors -- that somehow we can still see Pinch shaking His head.
And where con-SER-va-tives have their fillums, the Paper of Re-CORD has its [C]RAP. How did so many brains in the newsrooms ossify over time? How did so many believe in the genius of art solely for its politics? We know how BRAVEHEART, for an example, became an obsession with the screaming maniac Pat Buchanan; but how did the GENIUS of the GHETTO inspire so much ooze from stupid liberals? Is it because it sticks it to the man? And aren't too many of those who who praise the genius MEN themselves?
They're having a big debate at the Corner over what the Paper of Re-CORD Book Review's nasty swipe at Jo-NAH's chicken scratch means. We would say, exactly what MS. TRAVERS means when she praises another gorefest or grossout comedy as CONSERVATIVE.
Clichés come so easily to news hacks. One reason they wrote with boundless glee about "GRIM MILESTONES" in Iraq is that it was in part the only language they could use to fool people into thinking they cared. So when this Clatch scribbler writes, "[M]uch of the soundtrack of your life was recorded here", it is obvious he hasn't had to think in some time, nor have his bosses had to think -- but heck, it's the Clatch, and with its BOFFO SHARE PRICE nobody there has to think.
And unfortunately, Jordan is right -- it is the soundtrack of our life in every @#$%&* store we enter anymore. Can't people keep their bad habits to themselves?
And unfortunately, Jordan is right -- it is the soundtrack of our life in every @#$%&* store we enter anymore. Can't people keep their bad habits to themselves?
All that weightlifting, all that muscle building, all those steroid injections, all that worship at the feet of Joe Weider, and even Paul Dreck concedes the body count in the popcorn restaurants was up a lousy 0.2 PERCENT?!?!?
And even "NON" GERMAIN says attendance in 2002 set a "MODERN" record, a tacit admission unpaid advertising passing as news isn't as easy as it used to be.
And even "NON" GERMAIN says attendance in 2002 set a "MODERN" record, a tacit admission unpaid advertising passing as news isn't as easy as it used to be.