Posted 8:05 PM by Gene

Guess which of the AXIS OF LOSERS helped Saddam gain intelligence.

Hint: it wasn't France. It wasn't Germany. It wasn't even Belgium. Guess.

Posted 6:14 PM by Gene

Given the newly-marrieds' native lands I'd say the groom was the commoner.

Posted 5:30 PM by Gene

What happened to the National Museum of Iraq is very sad, but to keep things in perspective (a word Howell hates: perspective), Saddam Hussein pillaged his people for over two decades.

Posted 1:49 PM by Gene

Howell gets exercised over imported fluid-filled yo-yos.

Hey Howell, how many people have been injured by delivery people throwing the Sunday Times on their stoops?

Posted 12:48 PM by Gene

Hmm, here's a group of "weapons inspectors" even more farcical than the League of Nations's.

Posted 12:43 PM by Gene

Bill the Entomologist, suddenly emboldened, wants to go beyond the world of buggy software into -- BUGGY MUSIC! BWA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

Take THAT, Steve! You'll NEVER win against -- THE MASTER OF 82 UNIVERSES! BWA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

Posted 12:34 PM by Gene

On "THE STREET," still losers.

Posted 12:30 PM by Gene

Zee Vichys know when to join zee winnink side!

Posted 10:51 AM by Gene

Stupid pitcher who claims to have pitched a perfect game drunk, then dictated a literary masterpiece about it, offered to quit when excerpts came out.

Good idea. Why didn't you do it?

Posted 10:43 AM by Gene

It's NewsMax (sigh), but this story hints that something fraudulent could be brewing: The League of Nations may not recognize a new Iraqi government as a protest. Look for the JACQUEASSES to get behind the movement as a form of "leverage."

Posted 10:35 AM by Gene

YOUR SIDE LOST! YOUR SIDE LOST!

Posted 10:30 AM by Gene

Vice-President Inside's Halliburton connection just won't go away. Neither will the chairman (sic) of the House Government Reform Committee, Henry the Wax.

Posted 10:20 AM by Gene

One down, fifty-four to go.

Now if we could just get the Loudmouth....

Posted 8:52 AM by Gene

Even junior highs in America aren't this violent.

Posted 8:16 AM by Gene

Which is more important to Jim Romenesko: Eason Jordan admitting CNN prostituted itself, or Stanford University shutting down the student paper?

You make the call.

Posted 8:11 AM by Gene

Now that Apple got sauced by its shareholders because Steve Jobs wants to be a mogul, the company's whispered to Geraldine "Too Close for Comfort" Fabrikant not to take his talk "too seriously."

HUH?!?

Posted 7:01 AM by Gene

Oh, goody! A second ex-FBI-er has admitted to an affair with that Chinese double-agent.

Either the lady was Mata Hari or these were real incompetents.

Posted 6:52 AM by Gene

France Urges US, Britain to Ensure Iraqis' Security

That's more than you JACQUEASSES could do.

Posted 7:49 PM by Gene

Now that Tiger is provisionally out of it think we should watch the protests instead?

Posted 7:18 PM by Gene

I am sorry to hear that Eva Narcissus Boyd, better known as "Little Eva," has died at 59. She was a one-hit wonder with quite a hit: "The Loco-Motion." Hardly Beethoven but it made a lot of people very, very happy. (Until Grand Funk Railroad ruined it.)

Posted 7:11 PM by Gene

Won't there ever come a time news hacks will be punished for their hopes?

Posted 6:18 PM by Gene

Another "peace" activist dies for nothing.

Posted 6:07 PM by Gene

Summary justice from the Left's favorite tyrant.

Fortunately, it was "terrorism."

Posted 5:53 PM by Gene

Good going, Dubya. Good going, Barbara.

Seventeen Purple Hearts. Our gratitude is vast and inexpressible.

Posted 5:49 PM by Gene

"SUMMIT OF THE LOSERS!!"

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JACQUEASSES.

Posted 5:39 PM by Gene

This story ALONE explains Peter Arnett and Robert Fisk.

It also condemns CNN.

Posted 5:36 PM by Gene

HAS COMMON SENSE FINALLY COME TO McDONALD'S? The company, a charter member of the American Society of Willfully Ignorant Advertisers, says it's moving ad dollars away from TV and onto the Web. This is a signal recognition that TV advertising is frequently counterproductive, that the more you advertise, the more the consumer thinks of what you advertise, and the sleaze and slime you finance stick to your firm, to the detriment of sales. And no company has been more damaged by its obsessive advertising than Mickey D's. This is potentially disastrous news for the networks, and good news for the rest of us. It's especially good news for us Web denizens; it'll keep our surfing free. You listening, Wall Street Journals?

Posted 5:29 PM by Gene

Winter for Hitler and Viacom....

But of course! This guy said Bush=Hitler! That alone should have qualified him to produce it.

Posted 5:25 PM by Gene

Well! Look at these numbers: The median news hack income is $43,600, meaning for all the low-paid drones LOTS of the hacks earn six digits; the average news hack's age is 41, with many "aging...baby boomers who entered journalism in the 1970s," which may explain QUAGMIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!; "89.3 percent had at least a bachelor's degree," half from Ivy League schools (oops! that's not in there); and there are twice as many Dems in the biz as Reps, although the percentage of Dems has gone down, which merely means news hacks have learned to lie on surveys too.

Posted 5:15 PM by Gene

I was for this war! Really! Honest! Don't pay attention to what my city council said! I LOVE THIS WAR! I LOVE DUBYA! I LOVE...er, um, uh....

Posted 6:55 AM by Gene

ALL RIGHT ALREADY, you won your bloody lawsuit. But it's all downhill from here: Hubby needed a facelift, and you, madame, aren't getting any younger either. Enjoy the spoils while you can; the time will come when you'll have to pay people to place your mugs in magazines.

Posted 6:40 AM by Gene

Our hero.

Posted 6:38 AM by Gene

QUAGMIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is one football news hacks intend to run for a hundred touchdowns, using a hundred trick plays.

You don't suppose newspaper sales have been down despite the war? So many of the stories (and the spins) you can write in your own head.

Posted 6:26 AM by Gene

Steve Jobs yearns to be a Sumner. I'm not surprised; first off, he's been on AOL Time Warner magazine's cover (you know what that does to the megalomania), and with the success of Pixar that Hollywood gold dust has gone to his head. Let's see him try to move records like computers -- in a business with declining sales. Maybe he can create a new format that'll play on five percent of CD players. And considering what they paid for the former PolyGram and MCA Records, at $6 billion Vivendi and JUNIOR are getting hosed.

Also, the PR guys at the Monitor are saying the "independent" record labels -- you know, the ones who produce albums like Music to Collect Belly-Button Lint By -- are having PHENOMENAL sales. But they're a fragment of the biz, and they don't give specifics, and when Billboard says sales are down, it doesn't rely on PR (although it used to), it has hard numbers from POS terminals. (Although in the music biz, POS has several meanings.)

UPDATE: Apple's shareholders are so pleased with Steve's nascent moguldom they drove the shares to a 52-week low!

Posted 6:23 AM by Gene

At Graceland East, Elvis of Arabia had his suitcases packed.

Go east, young man!

Posted 6:19 AM by Gene

Just what America needs -- Arab gangs.

Shake hands with Osama bin Laden.

Hmm, maybe his press ministry can do an admiring feature on them! (Brought to you by Pontiac® -- Excitement. And Jell-O® Brand Gelatins and Puddings.)

Posted 6:15 AM by Gene

Does anyone want to bet at least part of Saddam & Co. pops up in several weeks in a "government-in-exile?"

Who'd want them?

Of course: the French. JACQUEASS would give them a big parade down the Champs d'Elysee. Maybe they can set up their government in the Seine.

Posted 8:19 PM by Gene

Where's Saddam? Where's Tariq Aziz? Where's the Loudmouth?!?

Posted 7:57 PM by Gene

Howell, marrying a PR type, presents the war as PR.

What does that make the Times? A press release?

Posted 7:38 PM by Gene

Could it be CEOs are just as bad as news hacks with their "consensus"?

Considering their favorite activities are firing people, raising their own salaries and financing junk television, could be indeed.

Posted 7:35 PM by Gene

FOR GOD'S SAKE WHY MUST NEWS HACKS TURN EVERYTHING THEY DISAGREE WITH INTO THOUGHTCRIME?

Posted 7:30 PM by Gene

Let us NEVER forget one reason we fought in Iraq.

Posted 7:23 PM by Gene

It's now clear: Saddam was Elvis of Arabia.

Shake the little tambourine!
Shake the little ring-jing-a-ling!
Shake the little tambourine!
Shake that tambourine! That tambourine!

Posted 7:06 PM by Gene

Count on a CONSERVATIVE to call the way we fought this war politically correct, but wasn't it morally, ethically, and legally correct too -- and politically RIGHT?

Posted 6:26 PM by Gene

RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! has cause to exaggerate, but as I've said, being overtly political in Hollywood can COST.

Posted 6:20 PM by Gene

McCARTHYISM REDUX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 6:15 PM by Gene

Great news: The College Basketball for Dummies Championship drew its lowest ratings since The Viacom Network started airing it in '82.

It's all Greed City, man! Rrrrrr-in-a-soycle!!

(But the women's games went up. Oh well....)

Posted 6:12 PM by Gene

Do young males need to see that many nearly naked girls?

Or read that many stupidly-written non-features calling them sex-driven dolts?

Posted 6:06 PM by Gene

WIth all that tobacco money pouring in to the states for "education" THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!!!!!

Posted 5:54 PM by Gene

Publicists? As VILLAINS?? What do movie makers know that the movie-ad-blurb copywriters don't?

Graydon! They're attacking YOU!!!!!

Posted 5:52 PM by Gene

Another fifth columnist takes to The Osama Web Site (brought to you by GM and Altria MOtive Foods!!) to model a strait-jacket.

Posted 5:50 PM by Gene

Critics of War Tend to Be Critics of Coverage

Who'da thunk it?

Posted 5:48 PM by Gene

Maybe it's just my jealousy, and it does go against the CW grain, but d'you think maybe making The Wall Street Journals available online to as few people as possible is one reason for your so-so profits?

Posted 5:38 PM by Gene

FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s shareholders don't like DirecTV (now DIRECTV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) as much as RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! does, hardy har har.

Posted 5:36 PM by Gene

Good idea. The Syrians rooted for Saddam. It's a haven for terrorists. Give them a slight lovetap that we won't tolerate their meddling.

Posted 5:32 PM by Gene

Speaking of screaming meemies, remember all the morons who predicted $10,000-a-barrel oil? Now with the war over we're facing a supply glut! HA HA HA. Figures.

Posted 5:30 PM by Gene

What the screaming meemies couldn't do, the weather did! NO MASTERS TODAY.

Posted 5:27 PM by Gene

Andy S. is posting all sorts of asinine comments from The Usual Gang of Idiots predicting defeat, retreat, ruin, millions of casualties, etc., etc., ETC. Someone ought to start a permanent memorial of a Web site devoted to all these jerks who were so eager to dance at our slightest disaster, but revealed in their wrongness though they are, will never keep their mouths shut, suffering a self-delusion so pronounced it comes within two steps of institutionalization. We must be vigilant to these cranks for as long as they can do damage to us.

Posted 6:55 AM by Gene

Whatever happened to Britney Spears?

Too soon?

Posted 6:45 AM by Gene

The Arab world has a mental collapse. Not everyone, to be sure, is depressed -- a few beacons of common sense beam in the mass-psychosis gloom. But again, "the street" backed a tyrant, and again, "the street" lost.

WHEN WILL YOU PEOPLE STOP BLAMING AMERICA FOR YOURSELVES?

Posted 6:20 AM by Gene

WE WON ZEE WAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JACQUEASS.

Posted 6:15 AM by Gene

Now that Bush has won the -- oh, jeez, now that the Democrats have lost the -- gosh darnit -- NOW WE CAN TALK ABOUT THE ECONOMY AGAIN.

Good luck.

Posted 6:12 AM by Gene

The Iraqis desperately need food and medicine. I know where to turn! The League of Nations pffh-hh-hh-hh-hh!

Posted 6:10 AM by Gene

Can anyone imagine what Wal-Mart would be like if it couldn't do business in China? CHAPTER 11!!!!! Those morons must be running scared in Bentonville.

Posted 6:07 AM by Gene

British Airways and Air France have ended their space shuttle. That technology is as rickety as ours. Why can't NASA do the same thing?

Posted 6:47 PM by Gene

"We discovered that all what the (Iraqi) information minister was saying was all lies," said Ali Hassan, a government employee in Cairo, Egypt. "Now no one believes Al-Jazeera anymore."

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 6:14 PM by Gene

Oh wonderful! An FBI man "in charge of Chinese counter-intelligence" had an affair with a Chinese double-agent (who was, the story says, "a Republican party activist"). Republican, Democrat, just following Slick's example, that's all.

Posted 6:01 PM by Gene

SARS has a Typhoid Mary.

Posted 5:57 PM by Gene

We have 7,300 POWs!

They're the lucky ones.

Posted 5:55 PM by Gene

And the Communications Ministry burns, confirmation that Joe Goebbels was on the losing side too.

Posted 5:51 PM by Gene

More good news: One of our aircraft carriers is heading home!

Posted 5:48 PM by Gene

Kansas celebrates its loss in College Basketball for Dummies by firing the AD. Proof, Dickie V, that professional college sports ISN'T about "GLORY."

Posted 5:45 PM by Gene

The retired Bernard Shaw says, "My impression from afar is that he [Peter Arnett] was trying to ingratiate himself with Iraqi officials."

Ingratiate? Prostitute.

Posted 5:42 PM by Gene

HOORAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 5:41 PM by Gene

BLOGGER CRASHES FOR AT LEAST TEN MINUTES! I HATE BLOGGER!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 5:27 PM by Gene

The ABC Family fiasco is the latest evidence Mickey Mouse Michael hasn't a clue.

Posted 5:24 PM by Gene

In one of the most notorious statements ever made about broadcasting, the legendary David Sarnoff (David who?) likened TV's apparatus to plumbing. That HDTV isn't a full-blown success yet is testimony in no small part to the public's dubiousness at using a hot new technology to increase the flow of raw sewage into its homes. And the sales jump of the sets isn't that impressive; most of them are being used with DVD players.

Posted 5:18 PM by Gene

If six- and seven-digit senior news hacks will sit on their hands during any speech, it's during Vice-President Inside's.

Posted 5:16 PM by Gene

The burned-out carcass of the Iraqi Olympic Committee HQ, another symbol of Saddam's shame.

Posted 5:10 PM by Gene

IT'S OFFICIAL: The first surrender statement by an Iraqi official -- but it came from the League of Nations ambassador, and was oblique as might be expected. Why not? He could be tried for war crimes too.

Posted 5:06 PM by Gene

Falling into the ash heap of history.

Posted 5:05 PM by Gene

Another magnificent career change: from our public TV to their public TV. The only thing is, while they both hate America, PBS loves Lawrence a-Welk.

Posted 5:03 PM by Gene

John Adams is knocking his Pulitzer, which given his music seems like a good idea.

Posted 7:00 AM by Gene

Does anyone outside America's newsrooms care for women's basketball?

Posted 6:51 AM by Gene

I was going to click on Joe Conason's column in The New York Observer, but I knew pretty well how it would read: "We didn't win! It's a CIA plot! It's an optical illusion! It was all done in a TV studio! Cheney and the oil business financed it! IT'S A FAKE!"

So I didn't click on.

Posted 6:38 AM by Gene

RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! will buy DirecTV from GM, proud sponsor of The Osama Channel. (I will not drop that.)

Hope the Rupe has trouble swallowing it.

Posted 6:36 AM by Gene

The world PC establishment will be back -- it hasn't gone away -- and is already preparing for the next prevarication, the next moral evasion, the next shirking of duty.

Posted 6:31 AM by Gene

How to eliminate a ghetto? Change its name!

This from the same LALA City Council that spent hours debating why war in Iraq was EVIL.

Posted 6:29 AM by Gene

So much for the ELITE Republican Guard, vicious urban fighting, guerillas, Saddam's determination, etc., etc., etc.

Posted 7:40 PM by Gene

Speaking of auctions, is Meg "Pronounced Mug" Whitman advising Winona Ryder?

Posted 7:30 PM by Gene

If, as Ty Burr says, art from before 1970 is totally kaput, why is someone expected to pay $4.6 million at auction for Beethoven's final revision of his Ninth Symphony?

And according to this story, Beethoven was so exercised in his revisions (as well he had to be) he wrote a note to a copyist reading (in German; Beethoven didn't write music in English), "You damned fool!" Do you suppose that copyist is in Ty Burr's bloodline?

Posted 6:01 PM by Gene

What do BBC News and SARS have in common? They're spread by cockroaches.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Posted 6:00 PM by Gene

Now we have their weapons!

Posted 5:57 PM by Gene

Now California backs the war! GASP!

Posted 5:55 PM by Gene

ALTRIA MOTIVE WINS! Nyaaaaaah-nyah-nyah-nyaaaaaah-nyaaaaaah!

But it still makes ciggies. AND SPONSORS THE OSAMA CHANNEL.

Posted 5:52 PM by Gene

A very stupid "Yemeni-American" (whatever that is) tells a court HE MET OSAMA, which the very stupid man stupidly thought would be like telling your grandkids you met Lincoln.

I don't think meeting Lincoln would put you behind bars.

Posted 5:44 PM by Gene

Odd, isn't it, that the embedded news hacks have actually come to like the soldiers.

Camaraderie beats class consciousness.

Posted 5:39 PM by Gene

Kofi and the Vichys will have "a talk" in Russia.

Let them talk. We're rebuilding.

Posted 5:38 PM by Gene

We now call Saddam's regime "brain dead." But then it never had a heart in the first place.

Posted 5:36 PM by Gene

The war is providing an echo chamber....

AND NEWS HACKS ARE YELLING SO LOUD YOU CAN'T HEAR YOURSELF THINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 5:33 PM by Gene

Whatever you do, foes of Saddam, try not to argue.

Posted 5:33 PM by Gene

Saddam was at a restaurant, allegedly.

Talk about the last supper.

Posted 5:30 PM by Gene

In another indication the Times has trouble making up its mind:

SARS Is Here to Stay, Hong Kong and Singapore Tell Citizens

Mystery Illness on Wane in City of Outbreak, Chinese Say

If this disease were political we'd definitely had made up our mind.

Posted 5:26 PM by Gene

Almost an Entire Armored Brigade in City's Center, Pentagon Says

Hey Howell, is that "Pentagon Says" your way of saying WROOOOOOOONG?

Posted 5:23 PM by Gene

Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh....

John Adams won a Pulitzer.

Posted 5:22 PM by Gene

No sign of Saddam

I figure there might not be after four bombs.

Posted 5:20 PM by Gene

Hearst's Frisco Chron runs an ad calling for the impeachment of Dubya, and a spokespoop says, "A lot of people confuse us with the ad."

Hey spokespoop, y'ever heard of a Venn diagram? You news hacks are in one circle, the flaming antiwar fops are in another. The circles overlap.

Posted 5:14 PM by Gene

We own TWO airports!

Posted 5:12 PM by Gene

Here AOL wasted zillions on its new HQ building and it catches fire. Whooooooops.

Going to raise our rates, King Richard?

Posted 5:10 PM by Gene

From America's most flatulent magazine to America's most flatulent J-school. I'd say this career move was made in Heaven.

Posted 5:09 PM by Gene

Awwwwwwwwwww, poor Rupert, Sumner, Michael, Richard, etc. etc., lost $77 million in the first week of the war. Awwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Shall we enlist the Salvation Army?

Posted 5:08 PM by Gene

You can bet The Osama Channel (with help, as always, from CATARRH, GM and Altria MOtive Foods) will be playing this story of "our" targeting one of its spies -- er, reporters FOREVER.

Posted 5:03 PM by Gene

And while QUAGMIRE!!!!!!!!!! beckons, the LALA Times (of all papers) says we're expanding our control of Baghdad.

Posted 5:00 PM by Gene

Meantime, our Marines kill dozens of enemy fighters without a scratch.

Posted 4:58 PM by Gene

As the general says, just because they're getting orders doesn't mean they're following them.

Posted 4:56 PM by Gene

QUAGMIRE RETURNS!!!!!

After all the partisan reporting about this war, all the hoping and praying for defeat and disaster, I will not believe one word of these hacks who scream QUAGMIRE!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 6:57 AM by Gene

Your goose is cooked, Saddam! FRISCANS BACK THE WAR!

Posted 6:51 AM by Gene

O, shut up.

But your idea's a good one there. The Arab people should rise up -- for democracy.

Posted 6:42 AM by Gene

Too much truth can be hard to take, but in vast swaths of the world people seem not to want any truth at all -- especially when it's sponsored by GM and Altria MOtive Foods.

P. S. Very clear writing from a news hack:

Nugroho says the war is a question of a "personal" grudge between Bush and Saddam Hussein, who is not popular among Indonesians.

Who is not popular?

Posted 6:37 AM by Gene

Public Seems to Tolerate War's Death Toll

Is 100 too high, Howell?

I thought all those Pulitzers would have calmed you down. Back to the doctor, Howell.

Posted 6:35 AM by Gene

Does the Loudmouth's popularity on the street mean he becomes a martyr when we execute him for war crimes?

Posted 7:54 PM by Gene

Somebody sue the Oddfather's doctors for malpractice.

Posted 6:29 PM by Gene

And the Spanish Saddam is up to his old tricks again.

At least he gives his slaves great medical care.

Posted 6:08 PM by Gene

It seems Asians like throwing tantrums at America too. Of course, a lot of them are Muslims, and a potential market for Mecca Cola (ha ha).

Posted 6:05 PM by Gene

Here's another nation that makes America quake in her boots.

Posted 5:59 PM by Gene

Do you care who wins the Stanley Cup? No? Neither do many others. (Certainly not I, and I live in a town that was hockey-mad not all that long ago.) How telling that a third of the NHL's teams are for sale. You have to wonder if the NHL is the canary in the coal mine of sports, if its business failures presage troubles in other sports. One can hope so.

Posted 5:39 PM by Gene

I'm not particularly unhappy to see the Supremes ban cross burning, but it was a 5-4 vote, and one wonders if this decision might pave the way for PC forms of censorship under a government imprimatur. I could see the fogies upholding college speech codes, for instance -- if they weren't always ruling by raising moistened fingers in the wind.

Posted 5:31 PM by Gene

And in more news about what the press is really like, A North Carolina paper editor gambled with Der Boondocks. He lost.

Posted 5:28 PM by Gene

Every year news hacks tell us how wonderful the Pulitzer-winning stories are (and by implication, how wonderful their industry is), so why is it the other 364 days of the year we're inundated with DROSS?

The Boston Globe did deserve its award for breaking that hellacious priest scandal. That's probably the most initiative a paper's shown in years. And at least the other prizes weren't embarrassing, although All-Thumbs Roger's sure not to stop boasting about how a movie-ad-blurb copywriter finally won an award in criticism after 37 years. May it be 37 years before the next one.

Posted 5:18 PM by Gene

Heavens! A non-violent antiwar protest in Oakland turns violent.

We didn't think you heroes were capable of hurting A FLY.

Of course we can (and will) ALWAYS blame it on -- THE POLICE.

Posted 5:16 PM by Gene

Will it be news every time our soldiers enter another palace?

Posted 5:13 PM by Gene

Well lookah here! Saddam was linked to Pali terrorists!

How could they ever have discovered that?

Posted 5:10 PM by Gene

YOU DON'T LIKE RUPERT BECAUSE HE'S (nominally) CONSERVATIVE.

WE DON'T LIKE YOUR PAPER BECAUSE YOU'RE LEFT-WING RUPERTS WITHOUT THE ATTITUDE.

WHY CAN'T YOU TWO LITTLE CRYBABIES GROW UP?????

Posted 5:07 PM by Gene

Another ever-so-worldly-wise perfesser tells us what Philistines American news hacks are.

If only all news hacks could be like -- The BBC's.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!

Posted 5:04 PM by Gene

The patriotic GERALDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of patriotic FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!News says, "Duh, I should have been more careful, duhhhhhhhh."

Posted 5:02 PM by Gene

Just what postwar America needs: Hearst is planning a cable channel for sex-starved airheads.

Posted 4:59 PM by Gene

We exterminate evil.

Posted 4:56 PM by Gene

The same pile of junk that not long ago celebrated the Marine's mother who opposed the war now can just barely bring itself (we know the disappointment; shucks, we'll have to seek solace in our stake in The WB) to report on the mass of Iraqis who brought down a sculpture of Saddam and cheered, "Saddam is no more!"

Posted 7:38 PM by Gene

What's the difference between an Arab and a Boston Red Sox fan?

The Arab wasn't cursed by the Bambino.

Posted 6:14 PM by Gene

This photo --

would go unnoticed except for this caption:

An Iraqi worker identified only as Mohammed, right, helping in the reconstruction of a road near the port of Umm Qasr, speaks to US Rear Admiral Charles Kubic April 6, 2003. The Navy Seabees have started working with locals in repairing roads, setting up playgrounds and helping in the distribution of potable water in an effort to return life to normal. Mohammed later spoke with journalists and told them 'Tell (German Chancellor Gerhard) Schroeder and (French President Jacques) Chirac that if they lived for just one day under Saddam they would have asked the whole world to come and liberate us.' (AP Photo/Roberto Schmidt)

Posted 6:06 PM by Gene

Now that his side has lost, Robert Fisk has gone NUTS.

Posted 5:44 PM by Gene

You bozos really expect to pass this resolution in a wartime Republican Congress? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

I'm surprised to see Mr. Dicks's name on the list. I thought he had slight common sense. Must've been very slight.

Posted 5:18 PM by Gene

How is the League of Nations qualified to rule Iraq when it can't stop carnages in central Africa?

Posted 5:05 PM by Gene

Bush Prefers Simple Airline Aid Plan

No comment.

Posted 4:59 PM by Gene

This story shows why Dickie V is full of it when talking of the greater glory of the game. The professional college athlete knows better. You can't buy groceries with glory.

Posted 1:29 PM by Gene

Annan to Convene U.N. Security Council on Iraq

For what? To tape a new sitcom?

Posted 1:18 PM by Gene

No less than the German president, French prime minister and Belgian foreign minister have joined religious leaders in expressing concern about Bush's beliefs and the place of religion in U.S. politics.

Let's see: the Germans gave us Karl Marx, paid for the train that sent Lenin to Russia, created Nazidom and the Holocaust; France perfected the scapegoating of Jews, collaborated with the Germans in WWII and invented payoffs for terrorists; and Belgium got raped by the Germans in WWII and fell in love. Yes, I believe these three nations are in the perfect position to correct our errors.

Posted 12:54 PM by Gene

The many idiots -- I mean, news hacks who've been saying The Osama Channel is just an Arab CNN with an attitude must confront this headline:

US troops suffer heavy losses in Baghdad fighting

We're up against raw naked PR for terrorists and tyrants, beamed all over the Muslim world -- and sponsored by the government of CATARRH and the godforsaken cretins of GM and Altria MOtive Foods.

Posted 9:34 AM by Gene

An AOL house ad:



If this is the best Hollywood can do, I'd hate to imagine the worst. YEEEEEEEEEEECH!!!!!

And this jerk thinks he can play Sky Masterson? In better times he'd be lucky to play one of the sewer rats for his crap games.

Posted 9:18 AM by Gene

In the upside-down, inside-out, public-be-damned world of Newsweak, "art" trumps crime.

And how forgiving are we? We like him, we really like him! And he refused our request for an interview. Good guy!

Posted 9:10 AM by Gene

From the ranks of the dead, addressing the suicidal, Saddam urges his people to fight the Americans with pitchforks.

Posted 9:07 AM by Gene

Did you have trouble getting up at seven -- eight in the morning?

Posted 9:05 AM by Gene

Well, zees prrotestors arre doink zee rright think, thees war ees terreeble, eet ees owful, eet ees unjustified, zees cowboys are rrrunning all over EEraq, and zee Joos, zey are behind eet, zey are to blame -- BUT VEE CAHNOT JUSTEEFY ZEES VIOLENCE!

Posted 8:55 AM by Gene

How many viewers did as I did for last night's NPCAA College Basketball for Dummies foursome: tune in, see the makings of a blowout, tune out, then tune back in only sporadically to see if it's still a blowout?

I think lots of companies are wasting lots of money on sports.

Posted 8:52 AM by Gene

Benetton, the ultra-PC clothing firm, wanted to put chips on its clothes, decided against it after complaints, but reserves the right to.

Now's the time for another one of those "edgy" campaigns -- with everyone dressed like an anti-shoplifting tag.

Let us not forget the firm's headquartered in Italy, home to some very vociferous Bush=Hitler tantrums.