Posted 11:27 PM by Gene

Speaking of the TWXSTERS, the long lost Time Man of the Year for 1991 (as in, "We didn't know we owned part of Turner Broadcasting!!") has "written" a "memoir", which sounds primarily like an excuse to boast of all the people he's known and all the great things he's done -- including colorization (but excluding marrying Hanoi...well, you know), and that it ranks 1,773 on Amazon.com says even cable fans have forgotten who he is, and can be more than forgiven for doing so.

Posted 11:23 PM by Gene

Where in God's name do the TWXSTERS get the idea someone else could play Wonder Woman?

Look at the comments, by the way. I usually don't. Even the fan types hate it.

Posted 6:00 PM by Gene

Hard-core number crunching that required "a special upgrade to [the crunchers'] Excel software" reveals what we didn't need a big fat spreadsheet to know: musical amateurs sell zero.

Posted 5:29 PM by Gene

Venezuela, Russia begin offshore gas drilling

And, uh, how much will we hear about environmental despoliation from the P-Ulitzer winning hacks?

Posted 4:02 PM by Gene

What can be worse in professional college basketball than to be the CEO of yesterday's champion?

Posted 2:36 PM by Gene

What goes around....

Franklin Bank, a Houston, Texas-based bank and Security Pacific Bank, a Los Angeles, Calif.-based bank were shut down by state regulators Friday, marking the 18th and 19th bank failures this year....

Ironically, Lewis Ranieri, the 61-year-old co-founder and chairman of parent Franklin Bank Corp., is credited with inventing mortgage-backed securities two decades ago, the AP reported, back when he worked at Salomon Brothers, where he is a former vice chairman.

Posted 2:24 PM by Gene

Could SUMNER have avoided selling some of His stock if He could have saved money not sending out so many STUPID PRESS RELEASES?

Posted 2:07 PM by Gene

Three MILITANTS have just met up with their two hundred sixteen virgins for their part in the Bali bombing (remember that? No?), and in their choice of words CURLEY (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) and the ASSPress demonstrate why so many thought Bilal Hussein was guilty of something for so long.

Posted 2:01 PM by Gene

Oh dear oh dear, another franchise has split from the British Vicarage and Tea-Time Club. How can it ever hope to introduce the McTriple?

Posted 1:52 PM by Gene

And let us forget about Newt, BOB, who aside from having been a partisan Dennis the Menace, and boasting of a slightly-too-healthy love life, will be 68 when his time comes, or three years younger than Boobs.

Posted 1:44 PM by Gene

Meantime Mr. Frum implies a certain incoming president might try to worsen the economic crisis for his advantage, like the villain FDR, which happily ignores one thing: he takes office on January 20.

Indeed it does appear con-SER-va-tives have turned en masse into lemmings, and are searching frantically for the nearest cliff.

Posted 1:36 PM by Gene

Yes, Jonathan is one of those partisan bomb-throwers, but con-SER-va-tives would do very well to listen to him; they can never reattain the ascendant so long as they keep replicating Dubyas. He aptly singles out GEKKO KUDLOW, who, it goes without saying, is a singular idiot.

And yes, someone must disabuse them of their adoration of AIRHEADS.

Posted 1:09 PM by Gene

It does not exaggerate too much to say that in Alexander Gardner Lincoln had his Gilbert Stuart. After photography (and a masterpiece like this) portrait painting could never quite be the same.

Meantime the second coming of Lincoln is reading a biography, which will probably not make his speeches any more brilliant, they being the apex of brilliance as it is, but hey, it can't hurt.

Posted 8:51 AM by Gene

Yesterday we rolled our eyes at a couple of press favorites with a preternatural knack for getting in their properties. We figured out why we can't stand them: they're not women. Oh they can make up too much and wear flashy red lipstick and short skirts and no panties and all that, but in their essentials they're men, grunting and screaming and posturing and swearing and acting as though the world is their men's room, never showing womanhood at her best: the kindness, the compassion, the flirtiness, the seductive sexuality (and moving your hips a certain way may not be seductive when you're a MAN). In time we think these two will take a certain other MAN's precepts to heart and workout four hours a day, and drive yet other men to divorce, and themselves to madness, although by that time the hacks will have helped make them so very very rich they needn't care.

Posted 8:44 AM by Gene

Guess where some of Hank's bailout money is headed! You'll never guess -- K Street!

The Beltway bozo who hasn't asked "WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?" hasn't lived.

With rates starting at $300 an hour, Huron Consulting Group, a Chicago-based financial management and consulting firm, said it counsels banks and mortgage companies with distressed assets on how to navigate TARP and the bailout.

E'RE-WAY IN-HAY E-THAY ONEY-MAY!

Posted 7:29 PM by Gene

Hey Boobs! The election's over. You don't have to be on Jut-Jaw Jay's anymore.

Besides, Drunken Slob needs you.

Posted 6:55 PM by Gene

Further from PEOPLE WARNER'S FLAGSHIP, it would not be fair to summon THE MASTER's line (as we have before) that "there is no settling the point of precedency between a louse and a flea", but these two former Mouseketeers' armies of press agents somehow remind us of it, and the ever-declining legion of news hacks seems as intent on subjecting us to them -- especially the one, for whom it has a new thing -- as it is on turning a mere president into God.

P. S. The TWXSTERS save money by copying from the Daily Mail. Smashing!

Also $10.10 a share, or $80 from where it used to be (unadjusted for inflation).

Posted 6:48 PM by Gene

We're not sure we should pay much mind to this "slip" that "SET THE CONSERVATIVE BLOGS AFIRE!!!!!" (educational Kaplan Inc. overemphasis added), but we'd guess someone in the planning committee might already be preparing to subtract a few press conferences.

Now if only they'd stick to more crucial subjects -- like DOGS.

Posted 5:51 PM by Gene

We taxpayers could take Goldman Sachs private!

Who needs the capital markets?

Who indeed?

(Via Seeking Alpha)

Posted 5:45 PM by Gene

Elsewhere, in a battle of chits:

Lieberman in talks about caucusing with Senate GOP

But isn't that what the Horror Haven on the Hill is all about?

Posted 5:43 PM by Gene

Excellent: The 90-year old Sen. Ossified Kleagle is being replaced on Appropriations by the 84-year-old Daniel "Ollie the Nazi" Inouye. At the rate things are going that committee may want to hold hearings in a geriatric ward.

Posted 5:39 PM by Gene

Wait a second! Isn't burning $75 billion an environmental hazard?

Posted 11:56 AM by Gene

Troublesome: Guess-Who has launched what for all the world looks like a post-campaign campaign site.

(Via Ars Technica)

Posted 10:38 AM by Gene

If this story about Georgia allegedly commencing the war with Russia is true this must count as history's biggest bullet aimed at history's biggest foot.

Posted 10:04 AM by Gene

GE BANCORP's financial spinoff suspends its dividend.

Little Jeffy says, not my problem!

Posted 9:59 AM by Gene

It appears some of the 1840 forces are trying to assert themselves on the Hill.

We don't root for either side here, but to the extent the forces of reaction win (of whatever kind) it's not good for our new president, or us.

Posted 9:47 AM by Gene

Poor Whole Foods needs -- and gets -- a handout!

That's what you get for selling $20 organic spinach, or whatever.

Posted 9:28 AM by Gene

Oh to be young, and sexy, and star in a flop Broadway comedy.

Posted 9:17 AM by Gene

We're increasingly of two minds about The Lord: there are inklings he could be (to use a term that doubtless has become an irritant already) a "post-partisan" president. There are also inklings that his party's leaders (Speaker BABS, WHINY REID, the senescent committee chairmen, etc.) want him to be an 1840 president. Who wins this contest determines how successful our new leader is.

I think for the moment I'll hold off on any further Lord business and give the guy the benefit of the doubt, because there are these inklings. Such derision now is unseemly -- at best. But I'll say this: if his partisans hadn't gone into frenzies, if the hacks hadn't acted like mush, people wouldn't be calling him The Lord -- and he'd start off on a better footing.

Posted 9:13 AM by Gene

An admission in NRO:

Why does a person with whom I agree about so much find inequality to be much less troubling than I do? I’ve thought a lot about this, and I believe that ultimately it’s because I see the world as a much more dangerous and violent place than Will does. I think that living in an extended, law-bound, commercial society is deeply unnatural, and the product of many generations of work. Aspects of human nature are an acid that constantly undermines its foundations. Hordes of violent men are always outside the city gates ready to sack it, and those inside always threaten to turn into a mob and destroy it from within. One of many bulwarks against these threats is social cohesion, which is undermined by extreme inequality.

Posted 9:03 AM by Gene

B'bye Boehner! PART DEUX.

Posted 8:24 AM by Gene

Obama and Vice President-elect Joe Biden were due to meet with 17 members of their transition economic advisory board. Members include former presidential Cabinet officials and executives from Xerox Corp., Time Warner Inc., Google Inc. and the Hyatt hotel company. Investor Warren Buffett was expected to participate by telephone.

TRANSLATION: The Lord talks to His big-business peanut gallery.

Posted 8:13 AM by Gene

Young voters not essential to Obama win

SO 1. Why did news hacks tell us this was The Year of Young People? and 2. Who voted for Him?

Posted 8:39 PM by Gene

God yes, fix it, preserve it, revere it, even with no more Unknowns.

Posted 8:30 PM by Gene

Obama considers new Energy Security Council

TRANSLATION: Another panel of high-mucky-mucks that issues white papers and does nothing.

Yes, every president does this like this -- but isn't The Lord supposed to be...transformative?

We're already liking that word as much as "agents of change."

Posted 7:32 PM by Gene

Thanks, Hank 'n' Paul:

Just 3 ‘superbanks’ now dominate industry

Posted 7:28 PM by Gene

Reporters say Rahm is smart, but complain that he has a bad habit of peddling shopworn goods as scoops. ''I got along with him, but like everybody else who ever covered that place, I also hung up on him,'' says David Lauter, who was in charge of the 1996 election coverage for the Los Angeles Times. ''You just want to say to him, 'Enough,' He'll call you up and start spinning something about how this is the greatest thing that any President has done in the history of man.''

The Lord has spoken!

Posted 6:53 PM by Gene

And in other hot entertainment news from the Big V, yet another artistic triumph awaits Branson East: a Betty Boop musical!

And not far from the drag they once called the Main Stem: Florence Henderson! Really folks, isn't it time to rev up the AudioAnimatronics factory?

Posted 6:51 PM by Gene

Cultural distinctions notwithstanding (will U.S. viewers double over at a Tongan accent?), "Summer Heights High" seldom rises above silliness and mostly proves just plain irritating.

This -- from The Network that CHANGED THE WORLD?

Posted 6:19 PM by Gene

Oops! Guess who got caught with its hands in Lehman's money shredder!

Da-da-DUT! Da-da-DUT! Da-da-da-da-DUT! (As in M-O-U-S-E.)

Posted 6:12 PM by Gene

We weren't aware of "Rahmbo" and all the other little things insiders seem to know at the back of their trivia-filled heads, but the guy did make the right noises of bipartisanship. Let us hope this spirit lasts more than a day beyond the inauguration.

Posted 6:10 PM by Gene

By the way Hugh -- how's that BOOK coming along?

Posted 5:58 PM by Gene

One thing that completely puzzles me about MessiahMania is, what accounts for their total unending frenzy? What do His followers expect Him to do -- wipe conservatives off the face of the earth?

There is a troubling intolerance at the root of this PC movement. The man they suppose to worship deserves better than that.

Posted 5:53 PM by Gene

Apropos of nothing, what is the difference between "What's New?" sung by Frank Sinatra and "What's New?" sung by LINDA?

The former is a profound expression of a broken heart. The latter is a HI MOM! moment.

Posted 5:48 PM by Gene

It is just as well that Gov. Schmuck will not face charges, as he will forever be known as the man who thought with his groin.

Posted 5:45 PM by Gene

To be sure a large part of today's walloping came from England, and one of those supposedly ameliorative acts by central bankers that suggests nothing less than clueless panicky appeasement.

Posted 5:38 PM by Gene

Con-SER-va-tives are surely in full chortle mode now with the Dow down 900 in two days.

Just one problem, folks: it's your economy too.

Or as one of the richest citizens in Palm Beach might put it:

Ever since SOME people elected THEIR DEMOCRAT LEFTIST PRESIDENT stocks have gone in the TOILET because INVESTORS, the BACKBONE OF THE REPUBLIC, have REALIZED the SOCIALIST SCHEMES THIS DEMOCRAT PRESIDENT and HIS Congress will enact, like the CARD-CHECK BILL, and limits on EXECUTIVE PAY, and the FAIRNESS DOCTRINE, ANNNNNNNNNNNND....

In time we may have to speak of ODS, which differs from BDS in that where BDS sufferers scream through the top of their lungs, ODS sufferers have an appearance suggesting shell shock.

And some of the worst sufferers think SARAH!!!!! would make a great president.

Posted 2:03 PM by Gene

B'bye Boehner!

Posted 1:47 PM by Gene

The question now is, "What's next?" Over the coming weeks, months and years, I'll be watching to see whether Obama pursues a truly 21st century presidency--that is, a presidency that prizes transparency, practices bipartisanship, privileges innovation over ideology, avoids the politics of demonization and calls on Americans to sacrifice for the greater good.

Over the last 21 months, the campaign has sent out mixed messages on this front. Early on, Obama refused to accept lobbyist donations and proposed numerous measures to increase government transparency--including a searchable online database of lobbying reports, congressional ethics records and campaign-finance filings. But Obama's secretive, corporate campaign obsessively controlled the media's access to friends, family and documents, often for no discernible reason, and declined (unlike McCain) to release the names of donors who contributed less than $200 to his cause.

In his speech last night, Obama revived a line first deployed at the 2004 Democratic Convention: "We have never been a collection of Red States and Blue States." But while he's crossed party lines on a few consensus issues in Senate--ethics reform, loose nukes, etc.--the president-elect has no real record of bipartisanship on thorny problems like immigration, campaign finance, global warming or earmarks (again, unlike McCain). On the stump, Obama floated above the fray, but he was perfectly content to unleash harsh ads under the MSM radar--including some thinly-veiled swipes at McCain's septuagenarian status. Despite making moderate noises on education and affirmative action, Obama has rarely voted against Democratic orthodoxy. At the debates, he was unwilling to ask Americans to give up anything greater than energy-inefficient light bulbs.

ZEITGEIST?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Posted 12:37 PM by Gene

It is annoying, however, when people pick on a SARAH!!!!! not because of her incompetence, but because of her politics. If SARAH!!!!! were liberal...well, it's a stupid thing to say, but in the end it's just the same smelly shoe changing places on the same old smelly left and right feet.

Posted 11:48 AM by Gene

Last year Blackstone went public in the thirties. It was the hot deal stock du jour. These days the folks there must be saying, "Why did we bother?"

And what an apt ticker symbol too: BX.

Posted 11:39 AM by Gene

By resorting to hyperbole and panic con-SER-va-tives engage in the same sort of excess that marked Kos and YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!!!!!, and with each new excessive word they only dig their hole a little deeper.

Posted 9:34 AM by Gene

I must confess I may have misinterpreted (very BADLY misinterpreted) what that movie producer said about Rep. Emanuel, the "Enforcer": apparently The One brought him into to read the riot act to Congress.

At any rate he may not take the job.

P. S. AT 1:38 p. m. He did.

Posted 9:03 AM by Gene

Sarah Palin did not know Africa was a continent, McCain aides have allegedly claimed.

New slurs against John McCain's former running mate emerged this week as the tattered Republican party nosedived into civil war and the divide between McCain and Palin was further exposed.

A Fox News anchor claimed McCain aides told him of Mrs Palin's ignorance on Africa - and that she did not know what countries were in North America.

This is the Daily Mail but I suspect we should wait awhile before proclaiming her the solution again.

P. S. at 11:30 a. m. Mr. Frum is now saying that SARAH!!!!! merely mistook South Africa for southern Africa, but as he mistook a "far-left" Greek paper for "center-right" we can see this for what it is: SPIN.

Posted 8:28 AM by Gene

This is no good:

GM will slash spending on new products in 2009. Sources in GM’s product development group say that nearly every product except a new Cadillac sedan that would compete head-to-head with a BMW 3-series in 2011 or 2012 have been delayed. Even key models like the Chevrolet Cruze compact and Malibu family sedan could be delayed, as BusinessWeek reported in this story on Oct. 23.

CW has it that people won't buy from a bankrupt auto maker. How is bankruptcy much different than what GM is doing now? At least it could make peace with its creditors.

Posted 12:06 AM by Gene

State Department. Do not appoint Bill Richardson, who by some accounts is the front-runner. Obama may feel he owes Richardson because the New Mexico governor endorsed him after dropping out of the presidential race and ended up being called a "Judas" by James Carville. But Richardson took his sweet time before embracing Obama; he dropped out in mid-January and didn't cough up the endorsement until late March. Richardson's résumé includes Clinton administration stints as energy secretary and as U.N. ambassador. He didn't perform either job particularly well. As energy secretary, Richardson rashly accused Los Alamos official Wen Ho Lee of espionage—a charge later proved false. As U.N. ambassador, Richardson didn't do anything anyone can remember except offer Monica Lewinsky a job three months before the story of her affair with President Clinton hit the Internet. "He has no great beliefs," observed Slate's David Plotz in June 2000, "which may be why he didn't mind flattering despots." Richardson has twice broken the world's record for most handshakes in an eight-hour period. He's very proud of this. Don't you find that alarming?

Alarming? We find it qualifying!

Posted 12:05 AM by Gene

I feel a huge Republican tantrum coming on:

First, Congress should immediately grant public shareholders the rights, on their own, to call a shareholders' meeting to vote out the current board and to render an advisory vote on executive compensation—rights that they don't currently have. Much better than any other similar measures contemplated or previously adopted, these three rights, which are already in place and working well in Britain, would align shareholder and management interests as to both governance and executive compensation.

Second, Congress should establish a ceiling for individual executive compensation as a reasonable multiple of average employee compensation, and penalize through the corporate income tax code and/or otherwise those companies that elect to pay in excess of that multiple.

Third, Congress should close the loopholes that currently allow the wealthiest Americans to use offshore tax schemes that cost our Treasury $70 billion in taxes each year, and it should aggressively step up tax enforcement to capture the 30% or so of earnings from selling investments that currently goes unreported each year.

Fourth, Congress should tax the "carried interest" now being earned by private equity and hedge fund managers at the ordinary-income tax rate of around 35%, rather than at the much lower capital gains tax rate of 15%. Carried interest is just a form of performance fee, and like every other performance fee or bonus it should be taxed as ordinary income—otherwise it is just another example of excessive and unfair executive compensation.

And fifth, Congress should continue to oversee the compensation practices of any entity that has or relies on federal government guarantees. To this point, particular compliments should go already to those in Congress and to the New York State Attorney General for their efforts to recover the excess compensation that recently went or is still scheduled to go to AIG (AIG) executives.

This should get MITCH almost as mad as CAMPAIGN FINANCE REFORM! I can hear certain overly powerful radio windpassers now: THE DEMOCRAT PARTY IS BEHOLDEN TO SOCIALIST SPECIAL INTERESTS WHO WOULD STRAITJACKET THE GENIUS OF OUR FREE ENTERPRISE SYSTEM!!!!!!!!!!, or however he would gas. Mind, government shouldn't set executive salaries, and the CEOs will find a way around it. Mind also, CEOs shouldn't make 400 times the average help, especially when they fire with a grin.

Oh and yes, it doesn't help this guy was an advisor to Sen. Overcomb, but you GOP clowns brought on your loss in no small part by being the party of the hyperrich, who returned the favor by scuppering our economy. How we've been served in recent memory by zillionaire CEOs is beyond us. I'd bet even some conservatives would agree.

And besides, you won't be running the show for a while.

Posted 1:26 PM by Gene

I'm Building Up to an Awful Letdown II?

What may prevent this from happening is that 1. Anon's already written a best-seller, and 2. His gray matter has demonstrably ossified since.

Posted 1:25 PM by Gene

Doubts -- from partisan Steve:

In the run-up to Tuesday, all signs pointed to a dominating showing by Obama. We heard endless talk about his voter-turnout operation and the millions of new voters who, inspired by his candidacy, would trek to the polls. Since he was already leading in most swing states, the wishful thinking of Democrats was that an undetected wave of Obama support would move create a tsunami, with every battleground state and even a few seemingly-safe Republican states breaking for him in the end.

But that’s not quite what happened. Instead, Obama held on to the states that John Kerry won in 2004, for a total of 252 electoral votes. He crossed the 270-vote threshold with relative ease by winning convincingly in the red states of Colorado, Iowa, and New Mexico, bringing his electoral vote total to 271. But beyond that, his best margin in a red state came in Ohio, where he prevailed by four points. In the end, he crossed 50 percent in enough of those red states to produce a convincing Electoral College verdict; but McCain was no more than a few points in a few states away from holding Obama to the bare minimum of electoral votes.

This isn’t meant to throw cold water on the Obama celebration. But his narrow margins in most of the swing states coupled with the relatively close popular vote tally should temper the euphoria of the Democrat and his backers. Yes, they won, and they did far better than the last two Democratic nominees. But they’d be wise not to forget that, even though they had just about every built-in factor working in their favor, much of the country still refused to stand with them.

Posted 1:17 PM by Gene

Jake takes Sam Donaldson's spot in the White House Day Care Center!

Jake, you're all that stands between the public and...eight years of fawning. Pfffffffffffffft!

Posted 11:31 AM by Gene

And in the numbers that really count (pfffffffffffffft!), the network "news" organizations did less biz than in '04, which may merely mean more people were frying their skulls with cable.

Posted 11:08 AM by Gene

A movee extruder issues a threat:

[T]he only thing Rahm Emanuel is going to extend across the aisle to Republicans is a sharp slap in the face, and if Obama does indeed appoint him, we'll soon see just how important achieving 85 votes is to a new administration.

Gloating already?

Posted 10:35 AM by Gene

And in the post just above:



Wait a second! Isn't The Sun owned by YOU-KNOW-WHO?!?

Posted 10:28 AM by Gene

Just think -- you may be party ch...executive editor some day!

Kaplan Inc. up $10.75, dammit.

(Via -- oh well -- NRO)

Posted 9:32 AM by Gene

Meanwhile, in the real world:

Irish unemployment hits 10-year high

Oops! Dow down 160. So much for that anointing.

Posted 9:21 AM by Gene

We don't ordinarily pay that much attention to advice columning but this strikes us as eminently sensible:

Finally, it’s one thing to call in sick on the morning after the election, but you shouldn’t be moping about the election three months later.

“The world goes on and you have a family and real people to think about,” says Twemlow. "People need to pay attention to the details of their lives and to their family.”

Posted 9:13 AM by Gene

We'd have thought the Nine Fingers would have pulled a Bill Douglas and done the libertarian thing regarding TV indecency; but if this dispatch is to be believed they're a little more sympathetic to regulating it than our anticipation.

I guess they realize TV viewers are voters too.

Posted 8:58 AM by Gene

We almost forgot -- this guy IS vice-president now!

Congratulations, Neil! Now bone up on Bartlett's and be prepared!

Posted 8:56 AM by Gene

We'll see about that! he said, smiling.

Posted 8:44 AM by Gene

And we must pause and give thanks this morning: the network "news" organizations did show some restraint, better than we expected.

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 8:37 AM by Gene

Goshdarnit! BEN FRANKENSTEIN's man lost. Now we'll have to rely on amateur comedians.

There is an automatic recount, however, so he may yet regale the Senate with tasteless jokes, not the least being himself.

And despite The One's healing powers it also seems the Dems' gains in the House may be less than they expected.

Posted 8:30 AM by Gene

It further appears some Alaskans may have buried their brains in the permafrost.

Posted 8:27 AM by Gene

Shucks, it appears the gay-marriage ban won in California after all. The forces of reaction may yet need to be exterminated.

Posted 8:23 AM by Gene

We agree, Boobs ran a hideous campaign. But if the hacks think this provides cover for their hagiography they may have another think coming.

Posted 8:19 AM by Gene

We imagine America's hack urban pols (is that redundant or what) are celebrating their newfound wealth. We wouldn't celebrate too hard either. To be sure Republicans have treated city dwellers as sixth-class citizens (which may be why The One got, oh, 80% of the vote here in Philthydelphia), but even if He had the money He might be constrained by the realization that urban renewal largely didn't work because it mostly rearranged the rubble, and the city problems that need help big time might not be susceptible to mere money.

Posted 8:18 AM by Gene

Here's another company to celebrate -- PEOPLE WARNER! Pfffffffffffffft!

Posted 8:11 AM by Gene

If bottled water were alcoholic half of America's luxury news suites would be hung over. We suppose however that last night the propagandists were even less prone to drink so they could savor the moment. We would not savor too long, however, at $2.86 or $12.34 a share.

Speaking of scribble, has anyone seen a newspaper lately? All I ever see is the Charmin called Metro, and (with any luck) we may not see it too much longer. Somebody must be masochist enough to buy a daily not-so-broadsheet. Who does? Who is fool enough to believe wire-service copy is worth $1.00 or more a day?

Posted 8:09 AM by Gene

Dubya! Duuuuuuuuuuubya! Where arrrrrrrrrrrrrre you, Dubya? You hiding somewhere, Dubya?

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, there you are, Dubya! You shouldn't be sleeping in your Oval Office desk, Dubya! The man who hunts down mice might try to trap you! Then what would we do?

You like cheese, Dubya?

Posted 12:40 AM by Gene

And the worst part is -- we don't know yet if BEN FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER will win! He's down by 14,000. Oh well, there'll be enough comedy on January 4.

Posted 12:38 AM by Gene

We have to agree with the bozo JPOD: A worshipful Keith O is unthinkable. Imagine four years of it. Little Jeffy may have to cart him out of 30 Rock in a straitjacket. He may have to anyway.

Posted 12:33 AM by Gene

And one thing, Mike -- it behooves some of you hyperultrapartisans to keep your damn mouths shut. The worst thing you can do for the new president is to a. gloat and b. flick the finger at Republicans and conservatives. The sooner you hyperultrapartisans realize a president can't govern 50 percent of a country the better it is for all of us.

We wonder how that blithering idiot PILLHEAD will respond. We can guess: with two minutes of lukewarm congratulations and two hours and fifty-eight minutes blaming the ignominious defeat on everyone but his damned formerly pill-addicted self. (Minus, of course, the two hours and twenty minutes for commercials and station breaks.)

Posted 12:05 AM by Gene

Doyle McManus in the LALATimes puts it well:

Which Barack Obama will dominate as he begins to govern? Too much of the ambitious liberal, and he rekindles partisan squabbles he was supposed to transcend.

Too much the cautious mediator who reaches across the aisle to compromise with Republicans, and he risks losing the energy and idealism that attracted millions to his candidacy.

The president-elect will have little undisturbed time as he works to strike the promised balance. The nation is in dire economic straits. His Democratic Party has been waiting since early in President Clinton's administration for a chance to work its will. And the conservative Republican opposition, though deeply wounded, is unlikely to roll over.

This is a mighty test, and if our president-elect can pass it, he will deserve our praise, and history's.

P. S. Here's another one from Jim Drinkard of the ASSPress. No, no one ever said jumping from the frying pan into the fire was easy.

Posted 11:22 PM by Gene

This is a momentous achievement. Those of us suspicious of The Lord's motives acknowledge that. We would like to believe with his election we've effectively eradicated race prejudice and perhaps even cast out the ghosts of the Civil War. History says we should know better, but we can hope. That is has taken us 232 years from the Declaration of Independence to purge this ill from our system, a job made harder because, for all their courage and fortitude, the Founders slipped by not condemning slavery's unspeakable evil, speaks a shame to us, but at least we can be proud tonight.

Our leader-elect has the capacity to be a fine president -- but that capacity will be limited if he lazes comfortably back on the tired old shibboleths of his party, and to the extent he enslaves himself to the cobweb-covered, dirt-encrusted Congressional table-pounders. We desire nothing more than to stop calling Him The Lord and capitalizing His pronoun. We hope someday to do so. We fear there are too many reasons why we sorrowfully will not. But we can hope.

We should keep in mind that the victory margin will not be much greater than the lunkheaded Dubya's against Sen. Hein-TZZZ. Indeed what we have are two successive protest votes: the first a protest against the wishy-washy Democratic foreign policy; the second a protest vote against incompetent, corrupt Republicans. And our Lord-elect won against a tired, bumbling, confused 71-year-old who didn't know Michigan from Montana. He richly deserved to lose, as did the airhead he appointed to the ticket and who probably won't win him Alaska. The Republicans lost tonight for the exact same reason they lost in '96: they appointed an ass atop the ticket. We cannot imagine who will run in '12; the only foreseeable candidate Mitt has Mormonism. We are troubled by the notion that the GOP could be as much in a funk as the Tories, who've been out of leadership for eleven years. But if the party can't get the leadership and the guts together it deserves it.

By the way, we see that old Arizonan's running mate won't speak tonight. That may be the first good decision the campaign made.

P. S. Some collegiate friends of some of the collegiate idiots who broke some glass on Broad Street last Thursday are out in force, meaning I won't get to sleep until 2. a. m. when the bars close, and they're merely reliving the World Series, and quite bluntly I say they're as much celebrating to get drunk as anything else. I'd like to drop EDDIE from the top of one of his beloved superexpensive condos for making Center City a college commons. With luck The Lord will pass over him.

P. S. at 12:20 a.m. I humbly stand partially corrected; some of the celebrants walked from Temple, about a good three miles, and to the extent they're black, they can let loose all night because they deserve it. I'm quite pleased for them. If I were black I'd be extremely happy, and would take to the streets myself. This does not apply to the white hangers on who I suspect are in force just to get drunk.

Posted 10:32 PM by Gene

And why do I think, for tall the gasping, the total turnout may not be that much higher than 2004's 122 million?

Posted 10:25 PM by Gene

In Columbia JERNALISM Revue's Web site, a difficult admission:

Obama Snubs Foreign Press

International TV reporters get shut out of Obama’s Grant Park rally

Posted 8:42 PM by Gene

The MESS has Boobs leading in the popular vote!

The other day I said there was a chance Boobs could win the popular vote and lose the election. We shall see.

And IF Boobs thus loses he should concede as quickly as possible and put the onus on The Lord.

But then there is the nation of California.

Posted 8:19 PM by Gene

I went to bed at 2:30 after the last election, and there's no way I'm staying up that late tonight -- not that I'd have to. The best on such occasions is to view these stories as if documenting a distant planet, and just tend to your own stubborn business.

Posted 8:14 PM by Gene

It's 52 or 53 to 48 or 47 -- but as The Lord seems to be winning the big states and Boobs the little ones I'd guess it's not too far from the time The Messiah can don His ceremonial halo.

Meantime His acolytes overseas are going bananas -- but what if He decides to govern?

Posted 7:23 PM by Gene

It does seem as though this is developing into a split down the middle -- or, if it does open up, it will not be until very late, in the West.

I just hope we don't have another 2000, whatever happens.

Posted 6:28 PM by Gene

I'm guessing with so many voting with their pocketbooks this is The Lord's to lose; but the people will not exactly win when they discover how little He (or Boobs, for that matter) can do about what the Wall Street Casino willed with its incompetence long ago.

And as Robert J. Samuelson pointed out the other day we willfully blind ourselves to the entitlements disaster ahead, thinking it will solve itself -- and that's the biggest pocketbook issue of all.

Posted 5:31 PM by Gene

If this supposed record voter turnout means people think the next prez will do something. we're in trouble. I don't disillusion myself. If we get The Lord we get suspicions over His beliefs; more important we get the senile Congressional leadership running the show for a bit in His presumed name while He gets up to speed, shredding money and indulging in their pastime of daydreaming through social-engineering legislation; by the time He takes control it may not be worth His while. If we get Boobs we get a man who will lead sporadically, uninspiringly, at the spur of the moment, who'll have to barter his power, who because of his age may not fully know what's he's doing -- and there's the risk of an airhead taking over. People who believe presidents can be (I hate this term) change agents are only showing their ignorance. The last president who could make this claim was FDR, and while some of his reforms made life better -- think of Social Security, or the TVA -- it took a war to fully recover America's economy. I think I know better than to expect good out of politicians.

The one group I'll exempt here are blacks, who deserve to celebrate; and The Lord is not so much a -- change agent as a manifestation of change.

Posted 5:23 PM by Gene

We have some terrible news. As of about 30 minutes ago, Women's Wear Daily is reporting that the annual masquerade holiday party thrown by Marc Jacobs and his best friend and longtime business partner Robert Duffy--has been canceled due to the current economic situation.

This is just -- awful. Now what will people with too much money and too little sense in Manhattan do?

Posted 5:21 PM by Gene

The Internet has just become very-high-tech television.

Pffffffffffffffffffffft!

Posted 4:55 PM by Gene

The notion of a "never-ending election season" may seem satirical, but I'm not laughing; all the cable "news" maniacs have to do is merge the midterms with the general election, then encourage Presidential candidates to campaign earlier and earlier by handing them oodles of free publicity, and we will have the permanent election. That our author thinks this the only way to prosperity for so many media outlets points to their essential shallowness.

And what Mort Zuck didn't make official before, he's done today, by making Useless News almost completely useless. We now for all practical purposes have one newsrag, and even that is undercut by its glibness. The others are just Web sites and essays.

Posted 1:29 PM by Gene

A wonderful juxtaposition in the Sponsored Links of an ASSPress story:

Vote Now. Vote Obama.

You Can Vote Until 7:30pm Tonight. Find Your Polling Place Now—Go VotePennsylvania.VoteForChange.com

Forget To Take The Pill?

Forget taking the Pill every day. Think once a month birth control.www.once-a-month.com

Posted 12:13 PM by Gene

AMUSING: The brother of a certain huffy-puffy-tantrummy radio talk show emcee wrote a column about his favorite president-elect, but thanks to a glitch it had Jo-NAH's byline, which caused some professional knee-jerk tantrum thrower to write a blog post, complete with the link to a now-corrected byline. Neither Cox nor said tantrum thrower has yet to see fit to correct the post.

And natch, the commenters (mostly of the usual my-opponent-is-evil mentalities) haven't noticed yet either, another endorsement for comments.

P. S.

They've preached bipartisanship while exhibiting the nastiest partisanship in my lifetime, calling Bush "King George III," "Hitler," a "murderer," a "war criminal," a "reckless cowboy," a "moron" and a "Christian throwback."

No one need to tell me of BDS, but he should not have included moron. Clearly Dubya's not the shiniest apple in the barrel. (I know all about his Hahvahd MBA; but Dr. Evil got one too.) Our history is pockmarked with presidents of dubious intelligence; most of the men between Jackson and Lincoln would qualify. The Adamses were flat-out brilliant. What did they do as president? Nixon was pretty bright too. I don't know where Harry S would have ranked on the IQ scale but that average man made a pretty well-above-average president. As we know from hard experience, because a man is president doesn't mean he can think.

Posted 9:32 AM by Gene

And in more of the brilliance that marks modern show-biz, UA is making a Three Stooges feature comedy.



WHY I OUGHTA....

Posted 9:25 AM by Gene

I wonder if Dmitri's boss has one of those surprises in store for the Lord that VP Kinnock was telling us about?

Posted 9:18 AM by Gene

Wall Street firms say they won't use tax money on bonuses, but as we all know, tax money is fungible.

Posted 9:09 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: Having already rigged the election, news hacks intend to call it before all the votes are in.

Posted 9:07 AM by Gene

If the urban and black vote shows, The Lord wins. If the conservative and Christian vote shows, Boobs wins.

In short, HE WITH THE MOST TOYS WINS.

I don't think this is quite what the Founders had in mind.

Posted 10:17 PM by Gene

Despite the word "impeachment" this story, we'd guess, means little; it's just a question of which foot-stompers run Iran, and corruption will be the game as usual.

Posted 9:48 PM by Gene

Here's another reason to doubt Perfesser Shafer: with so many Beltway reporters losing their jobs who will ask the tough questions that wouldn't have been asked in the first place?

Posted 7:37 PM by Gene

Okay, Fatso Nadler, were you thinking when you made the remarks -- or weren't you?

Posted 7:08 PM by Gene

If there's one site we must read more often it's the Daily Mail's. Yes it's decidedly downmarket but interestingly so, almost the way American tabloids were. Today it has two stories: the first which, though perhaps overstating it, intimates the fairy tales about Walt Disney having his corpse frozen (FALSE) may yet have had a basis in fact -- and bad science fiction; and the second about a certain ac-TOR's photo shoot, which does make us sigh, yes, it's very good for an airbrush. (Gray-DON, natch.)

Caveat: It appears Chris Bickmore is to the British popular press what PAUL DRECK is to U. S. show-biz hacks.

Posted 6:55 PM by Gene

Methinks Perfesser Shafer protests too much. His theory about the White House Day Care Center having a mass eruption over The Lord assumes He is a Republican and Sam Donaldson's still there. I'd guess the hacks will do their patriotic duty for Him because they don't want to see Him fail, as they share pretensions. If they turn on Him it will be less because of what He has done and more that the White House Day Care Center resembles a giant echo chamber, where all the hacks make out is the constant unending sound of themselves, and where they may finally get tired of the same old notes repeating.

Perfesser may be on to something, though, when he says an "invincible" campaign may not mean an invincible presidency.

Posted 5:26 PM by Gene

Embarrassing Obama Kids
What do you do when your child's partisanship is too extreme?

Tell him he has a future in the PRESS.

THAT should shut him up.

Posted 5:24 PM by Gene

Another College President Quits After Drunken-Driving Arrest

Another? What would drive kolledge prezuhdents to drink?

Maybe having to be on your knees all the time.

Posted 5:15 PM by Gene

At a rally in Harlem Saturday, Representative Charlie Rangel led the crowd in a call-and-response that went like this:

"Who is going to lead us out of poverty?"
"Barack Obama!"

"Who is going to save the United States of America?"
"Barack Obama!"

"Who is going to save the entire world?"
"Barack Obama!"

No lowering expectations in Harlem.

In CUTELITTLEPINKPAPER.COM?!?!?

Posted 5:11 PM by Gene

In SUMNERLAND:

Viacom Inc. Chief Executive Philippe Dauman told analysts Monday that the company is working to resolve ongoing ratings problems at MTV, one of its core cable channels. Though pointing out that MTV remains the No. 1 cable network among its target audience of viewers 12 to 24 years old, Dauman said the channel has difficulty getting people to watch its programs more than once.

Happily the REVERSE ROBIN HOODS and the ad-blurbists do watch -- a lot more than once.

Posted 4:57 PM by Gene

Just what our addiction to oil needs -- an uptick in SUV sales.

Posted 12:29 PM by Gene

One thing: Back in 1980 a lot of liberals thought Ronald Reagan would bomb someone silly. He didn't. This realization gives us hope The Lord won't be too screwy. But all the Messiah talk and His creeping Nixonism don't inspire confidence.

Posted 12:23 PM by Gene

How many liberal Web sites on Wednesday will have the hed, "WE WIN!"?

We'd wait a few years to see if WE, THE PEOPLE win.

Posted 9:58 AM by Gene

Speaking of derivatives, we hate to be con-SER-va-tive about it but are these people suing because Lehman sold them a bill of goods, or because they didn't read the fine print?

Posted 9:51 AM by Gene

Proof there may be only so many suckers out there:

KKR's plans to go public delayed until 2009

Posted 9:18 AM by Gene

Don't get me wrong -- for all the talk of THE GREATEST ELECTION EVER (and hacks usually gas like this when they're GETTING THEIR WAY) we face a Hobson's Choice; a mediocre temper prone candidate tagging an airhead and THE LORD. As I've said before I'd vote for The Lord if we were merely going by personalities, but this isn't a popularity contest -- and no hacks, you're NOT winning.

SKNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNX was born on September 11, 1929. Why did Kaplan Inc. continue to let him snooze on its paper?

P. S. Now I know why I don't bother with comments: 436 have been posted to SKNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNX thus far, and judging the first few they were either EVIL EXTREME RIGHT NAZI CHRISTIAN REPUBLICANS style or EVIL ISLAMIC COMMUNIST TERRORIST BOMB-THROWER style, with a few congratulating SKNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNX for being 79, which are even worse.

Posted 8:34 AM by Gene

Even as this industry tries to rig an election, it engages in intense spin over products it produces -- and sorry, the news biz and show-biz are one and the same, literally and figuratively.

Yet it's not likely, nor realistic, to expect the television and movie industries to curb the amount of sexual content in their products. That's why the American Academy of Pediatrics created the Media Matters campaign more than a decade ago, to not only promote awareness within the industry of how influential their TV shows and movies are to youngsters, but also to alert parents to the critical role they play in monitoring and mediating what their children watch. Having ammunition in the form of study-based association such as Chandra documented just gives the message more impact.

TRANSLATION: There's nothing YOU the public can do about OUR product; and drivel like this is written with a laugh.

A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO ALICE! AND PEOPLE WARNER AT $2.00!

Posted 8:28 AM by Gene

If Howie Hairshirt didn't feel obligated to tell us the hacks are playing favorites, would anyone at The Daily Kaplan?

I think that's why he's so irksome: he does these things as if out of penance, and there is otherwise no disposition for evenhandedness at the Kap.

(Via the usual Romy)

Posted 8:24 AM by Gene

Nevada's swingin' Gov. Gibbons may be cleared, but to us he still looks mostly cloudy.

Posted 8:21 AM by Gene

Figures -- a shotgun wedding between BofA and Merrill and already they're talking divorce.

To paraphrase the old saying, you broke it, you sold it.

Some brokers said they're unhappy with the amounts they've been offered to stay on - especially among those earning under $1 million a year.

Does that include the people engaged in derivatives?

Posted 10:37 PM by Gene

We can do worse than this idea:

If, in the end, Americans are having trouble reconciling their feelings on the morning after, we might consider Return Day, a tradition in Biden's home state of Delaware.

On Thursday, candidates for office — winners and losers — will gather and ride down the streets of Georgetown, Del., together before thousands of people to show that divisiveness need not endure after the election. They even bury a symbolic hatchet.

"All the ill feelings and harsh remarks, all of that is buried in there, and everybody agrees to put aside their partisanship and work together," says Debbie Jones, one of the organizers. "It's something everybody could use."

Reality or wishful thinking, that's part of America's self-image as a land of strong competitors who, in the end, draw together to move forward.

"I respect the process at the end of the day. That's the best part about it," said Kevin Bierschenk, 31, a Republican and a telecommunications project manager in Herndon, Va. "Good losers," he said, "are just as good as a good winner."

Posted 7:29 PM by Gene

An interview with James K. Galbraith, slightly expurgated:

Do you find it odd that so few [DUMMIES] foresaw the current credit disaster? Some did.

The person with the most serious claim for seeing it coming is Dean Baker, the Washington economist [*]. I saw it coming in general terms.

But there are at least 15,000 professional [DUMMIES] in this country, and you’re saying only two or three of them foresaw the mortgage crisis?

Ten or 12 would be closer than two or three.

What does that say about the field of [DUMMYISM], which claims to be a science?

It’s an enormous blot on the reputation of the profession. There are thousands of [DUMMIES]. Most of them teach. And most of them teach a theoretical framework that has been shown to be fundamentally useless.

Th rest of the interview is mostly standard-issue knee-jerk-liberal tantrum throwing, but at least he got his fellow DUMMIES right.

*Well, there are exceptions in every field.

(Via The Daily Beast)

Posted 7:19 PM by Gene

Hugo would make nicey-nicey with The Lord.

Have Air Force One revved up? Or would You prefer Your own wings?

Posted 7:09 PM by Gene

Liberals hate violence (except the show-biz kind). Liberals hate even the idea of shooting people (except perhaps their enemies). Nevertheless some people, who some other people insist on calling "terrorists", like shooting at us. So what can we do about them? Perfesser Bacevich has an answer: Duh, Idunno.

Oh, he's a con-SER-va-tive? How was I to know?

Posted 5:12 PM by Gene

You don't suppose part of the public is finally catching on to false Gods? Nah.

Posted 5:07 PM by Gene

Here's a risible story: The Branson East Association of Theme Park Operators doesn't want Web transmissions over the so-called "white spaces" because "[i]f spectrum sensors don't work properly" there could be "serious, unpredictable interruptions to the wireless mic transmissions" at the parks.

You know ops, they used to perform in Branson East without microphones. Ever thought of doing that?

Posted 4:31 PM by Gene

If it's Sunday it must be Big Double-A-Scribble Time:

1. Some pleasing news on the advertisers-as-reverse-Robin-Hoods front for once:

Media Dollars Drop Despite Election Year [Emphasis added]

Thank you, stupid, venal, obsessively spending pols, for your subsidy to a most worthy charity!

2. Which isn't to say we can't be upbeat, especially after a talk from a certain Goddess's flacks. Translation: Don't pay attention to what happened after She endorsed The Lord.

3. Shucks, even beautiful near-naked women may not be enough to lure young men into certain Web sites for retards -- or the mentally-deficient advertisers who MUST spend on them.

4. What Credit Crisis Means for Media Mergers, Acquisitions

For moguls: BAD. For the rest of us -- GOOD! No mergers and acquisitions for a while!

Interesting factoid: Did you know there's an Efrem "Skip" Zimbalist III who's CEO of a company "which publishes magazines including Backpacker and Yoga Journal"? (AdAge being a mere trade jernal it spells his name "Zimablist".) From violining to The FBI to yoga in three generations. (And there's an Efrem IV, who runs a hedge fund. Oops!) Interesting.

Posted 1:51 PM by Gene

Someone named Ferguson, a founder (so we are told) of the New Age movement, which was the same old mystic mumbo-jumbo in new clothes, which is no doubt why the Internet's Inventor was a fan (so we are told), has died. RIP.

Posted 11:23 AM by Gene

Keeping in mind this IS Page Six, and the guy IS shopping a "memoir", America's Greatest Joketeller had an angst suitable for Eugene O'Neill, but in the end, people can't even remember his jokes.

Posted 11:16 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: There are far more teddy bears, flowers and balloons at the Hudson home than there are leads in the Hudson case.

"We're not proud of it," Mayor Richard Daley said last week, as the killings put new scrutiny on Chicago's out-of-control crime as the city bids for the 2016 Olympics.

BUTTON UP YOUR TRAP, Immortal. Your GAMES will solve every last problem forever and ever.

Posted 11:08 AM by Gene

While workers' paychecks have stagnated, corporate profits jumped an average of 10.8% per year, according to data from the Bureau of Economic Analysis. "The fact that middle-income households ended up below where they were in 2000 despite strong productivity growth—that's the heart of the problem," says Jared Bernstein, an economist at the Economic Policy Institute, a liberal think tank. "It's one thing if you're looking at a period like now, when the macroeconomy is dysfunctional, but for most of this decade the economy has been pumping along." However, economists at the conservative American Enterprise Institute counter that claims of income stagnation are overblown, pointing out, for example, that household income data does not take into account total compensation, including companies' burgeoning contributions to employee health insurance.

TRANSLATION: Liberals will give crumbs to the middle class and TAX AWAY!!!!! Con-SER-va-tives will still make sure CEOs and the hyperrich pay NO TAXES because their wealth tricks -- er, trickles down.

Once, after reporting that core inflation had been relatively tame that quarter, Conference Board economist Ken Goldstein came back to the office to find an irate e-mail: "Hey, dummy, what the hell do you think we spend our money on?" The point was taken: When energy and food skyrocket, families feel it.

Here's an idea: instead of calling them economists, we should call them DUMMIES. It has a -- ring to it.

Posted 11:02 AM by Gene

As if to confirm the voters are mere pawns in someone's game -- and may not even qualify as pawns:

The study by three prominent statisticians used millions of computer runs of polling data to examine the likelihood that a single vote will carry a state and that that particular state will tip the balance in the Electoral College. The statisticians were trying to answer the question: "What is the probability your vote will make a difference?"

The answer is very low. You are far more likely to be hit twice by lightning.

Posted 10:49 AM by Gene

Please, please Saudis, we need the -- MONEY!

Posted 10:43 AM by Gene

Congo Quagmire Finally Grabs the World's Attention

I repeat! LORD! Send in tens of thousands of soldiers there!

Why do I think one of The Messiah's first acts will be a humanitarian military intervention -- and it will end up like Somalia?

Posted 10:36 AM by Gene

Here's an endorsement from The Atlantic I could live with:

Lincoln for President

Oh wait -- isn't that who the hacks are endorsing now?

Posted 10:28 AM by Gene

Oh, COME ON, ST. WARREN and Your Cherubim, you'll have a big blowout party Election Eve, and if you do think about the vanquished it will be of new ways to shaft them. SHUT UP, ST. WARREN.