THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
Blogroll Me!
![[Powered by Blogger]](http://buttons.blogger.com/bloggerbutton1.gif){kind=small}
Saturday, March 28, 2009
See? JonBoy seems to be saying. We can let OUR guy have it too! There's just one catch:
If you are of the establishment persuasion (and I am), reading Krugman makes you uneasy. You hope he's wrong....
As Norm Thomas's Grandson probably wouldn't be hoping if prez were a REPUBLICAN. This is just another variation on our sock puppet.
If you are of the establishment persuasion (and I am), reading Krugman makes you uneasy. You hope he's wrong....
As Norm Thomas's Grandson probably wouldn't be hoping if prez were a REPUBLICAN. This is just another variation on our sock puppet.
DR. FRANKENSTEIN MARCHES ON: Now it's stem cells for bigger breasts. Of course this has an excuse: We're doing it for women who've had lumpectomies. Soon the Bunsen Honeydews will figure out how to eliminate all excuses. We can't imagine this is the last organ related to sex that will benefit from stem cells. ONE!!!!!
More realism: Vice-President -- Who? says The One will not lift the Cuban embargo, despite all the friends it would supposedly make him, like the folks protesting us in London.
As we all know by now, the WORRRRULLLLLLD COMMUNITY is very good at symbolism. "Arresting" the president of Sudan was very good symbolism. Now said community is engaging in what will no doubt become an annual WORRRRULLLLLLD HOLIDAY by turning out the lights on its most prominent edifices. Or as ASSPress typist Kristen puts it in the nineteenth of her twenty-one grafs:
Earth Hour organizers say there's no uniform way to measure how much energy is saved worldwide.
Or, for that matter, how much energy is wasted by powering down and powering up.
Of course the League of Nations would very keenly exaggerate any claims of energy saving. Unfortunately this story appeared in FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NEWS.com and is therefore not credible FOR THAT REASON ONLY. Meantime the world's hacks continue in their long, deep, blissful sleep.
Earth Hour organizers say there's no uniform way to measure how much energy is saved worldwide.
Or, for that matter, how much energy is wasted by powering down and powering up.
Of course the League of Nations would very keenly exaggerate any claims of energy saving. Unfortunately this story appeared in FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NEWS.com and is therefore not credible FOR THAT REASON ONLY. Meantime the world's hacks continue in their long, deep, blissful sleep.
I would wager humans will not mount a successful trip to Mars before the end of the century -- with the emphasis on successful. The work should be on speeding up the propulsion, not so much on whether men can stand a closed environment for months. The former is surely beyond our present technology; the latter may be beyond human nature.
I wonder:
It is poignant to recall that in Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher's time there was the serious possibility of Britain's being able to abolish its income tax and pay off its entire national debt. This was not an inconceivable feat--indeed, the U.S. actually retired its national debt during Andrew Jackson's presidency.
Which proved very helpful to us in the long run. But anyway:
During the boom years London's financial center, known as the City, expanded to become the leading such center in the world. But the financial sector--by far the country's biggest industry, both in terms of value and in the numbers of people employed--is contracting fast. There are more unemployed bankers in London than anywhere else on earth.
TRANSLATION: Just as all those bankers nearly allowed Iron Lady to abolish the income tax, so said same bankers have plunged the former United Kingdom into a depression. Any nation where number crunching and asset swapping is the country's biggest industry is a house of cards.
But here, for readers of Forbeslist, is the real killer:
The consumption of champagne in Britain has dropped. Luxury restaurants are closing.
Little Malcolm must have gone on a crying jag when he saw it. (If he saw it.)
It is poignant to recall that in Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher's time there was the serious possibility of Britain's being able to abolish its income tax and pay off its entire national debt. This was not an inconceivable feat--indeed, the U.S. actually retired its national debt during Andrew Jackson's presidency.
Which proved very helpful to us in the long run. But anyway:
During the boom years London's financial center, known as the City, expanded to become the leading such center in the world. But the financial sector--by far the country's biggest industry, both in terms of value and in the numbers of people employed--is contracting fast. There are more unemployed bankers in London than anywhere else on earth.
TRANSLATION: Just as all those bankers nearly allowed Iron Lady to abolish the income tax, so said same bankers have plunged the former United Kingdom into a depression. Any nation where number crunching and asset swapping is the country's biggest industry is a house of cards.
But here, for readers of Forbeslist, is the real killer:
The consumption of champagne in Britain has dropped. Luxury restaurants are closing.
Little Malcolm must have gone on a crying jag when he saw it. (If he saw it.)
Sorry Jonathan, I think it's best we leave the author of The Carpetbaggers buried.
And though it should remain buried too, we puzzle why someone hasn't turned that Grace Metalious mold into a movie again -- or better still, why JUDD APATOW couldn't turn her best-selling gag into a comedy; yes, I believe that bozo could do a whole movee on sex while driving. Amazing: the roots of our junky taste lie in the Ike years. (But not surprising given Hef and tail fins -- and Ike.) Now that would have been an article. Instead, Jonathan went daydreaming. NSG, Jonathan.
OR:
"If I'm a lousy writer, then an awful lot of people have lousy taste."
You said it, Grace.
She died of alcoholism.
P. S. To the extent the numbers mean anything, Harold Robbins's best seller on Amazon.com is #87,150. Peyton Place is #98,738. The books may be gone but their smell lives on.
We do have Franz Waxman, however. Beautiful flowers can grow in sludge.
P. P. S. The story is well known but bears repeating: Toward the end of his stay in office Ike invited Leonard Bernstein and the New York Philharmonic to the White House for a concert that included the Rhapsody in Blue. Afterwards Ike exulted to Lenny: "It's got a theme. I like music with a theme -- not all them arias and barcarolles."
Lenny got back at him by naming one of his last works Arias and Barcarolles.
And though it should remain buried too, we puzzle why someone hasn't turned that Grace Metalious mold into a movie again -- or better still, why JUDD APATOW couldn't turn her best-selling gag into a comedy; yes, I believe that bozo could do a whole movee on sex while driving. Amazing: the roots of our junky taste lie in the Ike years. (But not surprising given Hef and tail fins -- and Ike.) Now that would have been an article. Instead, Jonathan went daydreaming. NSG, Jonathan.
OR:
"If I'm a lousy writer, then an awful lot of people have lousy taste."
You said it, Grace.
She died of alcoholism.
P. S. To the extent the numbers mean anything, Harold Robbins's best seller on Amazon.com is #87,150. Peyton Place is #98,738. The books may be gone but their smell lives on.
We do have Franz Waxman, however. Beautiful flowers can grow in sludge.
P. P. S. The story is well known but bears repeating: Toward the end of his stay in office Ike invited Leonard Bernstein and the New York Philharmonic to the White House for a concert that included the Rhapsody in Blue. Afterwards Ike exulted to Lenny: "It's got a theme. I like music with a theme -- not all them arias and barcarolles."
Lenny got back at him by naming one of his last works Arias and Barcarolles.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Today I had to tend to a personal task (more of which later, perhaps) that took me to Bala Cynwyd, and nearby City Ave., the strange diagonal mark on the map that is one of our northwestern borders. You notice right away most of the offices and two upscale department stores are on the suburban side, and we are stuck with nonprofits. It was once a serene neighborhood, but the Schuylkill Expressway and the idiot Babbitt desire to lay waste to every last forest and farm have made it one continuous loud traffic jam. Upscale apartments dot the area but I'm not sure I'd want to live there; it combines all the disadvantages of a city with all the disadvantages of the burbs -- think crime and cul-de-sacs. You can see America may have undergone too much construction lately at the Target, which replaced a skyscraper hotel torn down for God knows what reason, one with the peculiar name and logo no one could figure out except to suppose them obscene. Nearby at the intersection with Monument Road are an old glass box and a turret that house two of our city's former mints -- broadcasters. Passing by The Pillbox That Ambassador Walt Built (now owned by a company nominally and mysteriously named for another Walt) you notice that TV stations can become eyesores in ways even beyond the ethereal toilet-flushings; a microwave tower (I believe) juts nastily from its center, as if ready to shoot down enemy media moguls, and out back sprouts an horrendous eyesore of four huge satellite dishes. Looking at those dishes today I became instantly convinced they're dead technology. TV is moving back to its prehistory, to a high-tech successor to the coaxial cable that will render cable obsolete too; we will soon not need such centralized garbage dispersion units as everyone will have his own home electronic waste dump. With that spectacular collision in orbit one must wonder when space junk will render satellites unusable anyway. For better or for worse (I say the latter) the media increasingly belong to the rabble, and if the negative is we cannot blast our way through the accreting sludge of tens of millions of morons even with dynamite the positive is it will dissipate some billionaires and their toys, as it has already.
On the intersecting Belmont Ave. and behind the bus stop that connected me home (across the street from a building that housed a bank that no more exists; it was part of the pile of bad assets Wells Fargo had to buy at federal gunpoint but still bears its initials: GSB) there's a huge reservoir, part of our city's water works, and a couple of ducks were swimming or cleaning themselves peacefully, oblivious to the mad nonsensical rush around them. They, at least, had a good idea.
On the intersecting Belmont Ave. and behind the bus stop that connected me home (across the street from a building that housed a bank that no more exists; it was part of the pile of bad assets Wells Fargo had to buy at federal gunpoint but still bears its initials: GSB) there's a huge reservoir, part of our city's water works, and a couple of ducks were swimming or cleaning themselves peacefully, oblivious to the mad nonsensical rush around them. They, at least, had a good idea.
HERE'S A RESOLUTION FROM THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES CALLING FOR THE CREATION OF A PARTISAN COMMISSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Resolute overemphasis added)
Congresspoop Con-yers has introduced the same piece of -- legislation regularly since 1989. NUF SAID.
Congresspoop Con-yers has introduced the same piece of -- legislation regularly since 1989. NUF SAID.
We suspect from this post housing will not recover soon because there's more to a house than just buying it. You have to feed it.
And some of those monsters can eat.
TRANSLATION: GE BANCORP got into solar because it's PC. So what happens? The economy tanks so bad the BANCORP has to lay off dozens from its solar unit.
We ask of the envirostompers: Isn't this depr -- economy a GOOD THING because it means less of all that gunk in the air? I mean you want to slow down growth in the name of hypotheticals, and now it's happening! And if it puts people out of work, well...that puts less gunk in the air!
We ask of the envirostompers: Isn't this depr -- economy a GOOD THING because it means less of all that gunk in the air? I mean you want to slow down growth in the name of hypotheticals, and now it's happening! And if it puts people out of work, well...that puts less gunk in the air!
Meantime the right praises the president for toughing it out in Afghanistan. We join in. Here this president throws money into the incinerator, and then the next day he realizes we can't throw Afghanistan there. We only wish he threw less money into the incinerator.
OH oh, I think Pete of Hooverville just made the Swing Era con-SER-va-tive.
We should never take this sort of thing lying down. Great art transcends politics, and the swing era was great art. The only time the names he mentions crossed over into politics was when Satch blasted Perpetually Underrated Ike for his stupidity on civil rights.
Although Glenn Miller and Satch each recorded a scabrous tune called "W. P. A."; Glenn never released his version, apparently under pressure from John Hammond and the then-powerful Musicians' Union. Then again we wonder if con-SER-va-tives would call Glenn a COMMIE for having recorded an Irving Berlin tune celebrating FDR's birthday. (It was a fundraiser for the March of Dimes.) As we said, who cares? These were great musicians in any language and beyond politics. Moreover Glenn gave his life for his country, which is a big reason this music lover reverences his name, and that's more than most conservative pundits can claim.
(Via the usual Corner)
We should never take this sort of thing lying down. Great art transcends politics, and the swing era was great art. The only time the names he mentions crossed over into politics was when Satch blasted Perpetually Underrated Ike for his stupidity on civil rights.
Although Glenn Miller and Satch each recorded a scabrous tune called "W. P. A."; Glenn never released his version, apparently under pressure from John Hammond and the then-powerful Musicians' Union. Then again we wonder if con-SER-va-tives would call Glenn a COMMIE for having recorded an Irving Berlin tune celebrating FDR's birthday. (It was a fundraiser for the March of Dimes.) As we said, who cares? These were great musicians in any language and beyond politics. Moreover Glenn gave his life for his country, which is a big reason this music lover reverences his name, and that's more than most conservative pundits can claim.
(Via the usual Corner)
One word comes to mind for Irving R. Levine: sober. That is a compliment -- espcially now, when everyone in the news biz is drunk.
Powerless and irrelevant, the musical star of the Senate Mr. Hatch decides to take it in his own hands: he's going to FIX THE BCS!!!!!
Orrin, why not just help add trillions to the national debt the way you're supposed to.
Orrin, why not just help add trillions to the national debt the way you're supposed to.
Here I follow the Ranceoids religiously and I missed this story that PEOPLE INC. turned itself into a whorehouse for DreamWorks. And the delicious irony (if this story is to be believed) is it didn't work for DreamWorks. PEOPLE WARNER would perform a noble public service by shutting down every one of its rags except People, which it could spin off in an IPO.
We'll do it early: A NEUHARTHISM OF THE YEAR AWARD TO PEOPLE INC. AND JOHN "RHYMES WITH HOOEY" HUEY!
We'll do it early: A NEUHARTHISM OF THE YEAR AWARD TO PEOPLE INC. AND JOHN "RHYMES WITH HOOEY" HUEY!
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Nearly five years ago, in a post that has totally vanished from the Web (save for my citation)*, somebody at ESPNCORP NETWORK NEWS wrote this:
Frankly, there are few things in this world more dreary to me than the endless musings, gushing and reminiscences of a teenaged girl. I had certain, er, motivations to listen when I was 15. I have none now. As the guy-saying goes: "Hey, if I cared I'd be a chick." Or, as my son said as he scrolled through the thousands of words and dozens of entries of one girl's blog, "Blah, blah, blah. She hates her life. Blah, blah. Shut up."
Today, given the great "success" of Facebook and Twitter, the whole world's a 15-year-old girl.
And sometimes she's someone else. (Sorry to link to THE WAX! twice.)
* P. S. on 4/18/2009 at 5:12 p. m. I was wrong; the linked story is here. (See also this post.)
Frankly, there are few things in this world more dreary to me than the endless musings, gushing and reminiscences of a teenaged girl. I had certain, er, motivations to listen when I was 15. I have none now. As the guy-saying goes: "Hey, if I cared I'd be a chick." Or, as my son said as he scrolled through the thousands of words and dozens of entries of one girl's blog, "Blah, blah, blah. She hates her life. Blah, blah. Shut up."
Today, given the great "success" of Facebook and Twitter, the whole world's a 15-year-old girl.
And sometimes she's someone else. (Sorry to link to THE WAX! twice.)
* P. S. on 4/18/2009 at 5:12 p. m. I was wrong; the linked story is here. (See also this post.)
THERE'LL ALWAYS BE A HOLLYWOOD:
Really, this is no place to experience a depression. No matter what bleak news you hear on NPR, L.A. sedates the crisis. Your 401K turns into a 201K but you spot Jessica Alba at the Farmer's Market. Unemployment hits record highs but the next joyously dumb license plate you see reads FLM EXEC. You ask a bunch of your friends if they'd take $50,000 to see "He's Just Not That Into You" and they all decline, no hesitation.
Everything seems pretty fine.
Really, this is no place to experience a depression. No matter what bleak news you hear on NPR, L.A. sedates the crisis. Your 401K turns into a 201K but you spot Jessica Alba at the Farmer's Market. Unemployment hits record highs but the next joyously dumb license plate you see reads FLM EXEC. You ask a bunch of your friends if they'd take $50,000 to see "He's Just Not That Into You" and they all decline, no hesitation.
Everything seems pretty fine.
And in its equal and opposite number, the home of MR. JOURNOLIST:
VERMONT GOVERNOR: FUNDAMENTAL RIGHTS ARE A LUXURY WE CAN'T AFFORD. [SIC!!!!!]
VERMONT GOVERNOR: FUNDAMENTAL RIGHTS ARE A LUXURY WE CAN'T AFFORD. [SIC!!!!!]
Fed's Plosser: Economic outlook "pretty ugly"
If the Wall Street Casino keeps going he'll have to call it ugly pretty.
If the Wall Street Casino keeps going he'll have to call it ugly pretty.
Remember when crude oil prices were going way up how a confederacy of the smug like John "The Knee-Jerk-Liberal Conservative" Stossel insisted speculators weren't bad guys?
How then to explain this?
How then to explain this?
We should have mentioned this yesterday, but obviously Sammy Glick...man thinks his is an IMPORTANT business -- important enough to downplay "RECORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" returns (i.e., PAUL DRECK's definition thereof) so he can get tax dollars. Really Sammy, we can think of businesses that are much more important than yours. Then again, we can't think of too many businesses less deserving of OUR largesse than yours.
Speaking of IWantMedia links, yesterday we mentioned Rasmussen's spectacularly stupid poll. Well, just as a dog sinks its teeth into readers, the TWXSTERS (sorry Bew-KES, it bought you, you pay for it) are saying THE COMEDY CENTRAL NEWSHOUR is "REPLACING OLD NEWS GUYS!!!!!"
Is PEOPLE WARNER replacing its staff with too many interns?
Is PEOPLE WARNER replacing its staff with too many interns?
In current dollar terms (not adjusted for price changes), GDP fell 5.8% to an annual rate of $14.2 trillion. It was the largest percentage drop in nominal GDP since 1958.
Other aspects of the report were very negative. Corporate profits before taxes fell a record $250 billion, or 16.5% at a quarterly rate. It was the largest percentage decline in profits since 1953. Domestic profits of financial corporations dropped $178 billion, while domestic profits of nonfinancial companies dropped $89 billion.
The government's estimates of profits from current operations do not include the writing down of bad assets.
For all of 2008, profits fell 10.1%, the most since 1970.
Consumer spending fell at a 4.3% pace in the fourth quarter, the worst since 1980. Spending on durable goods plunged 22.1%, the worst since 1987. Spending on nondurable goods fell a record 9.4%. Spending on services rose 1.5%.
Business investment dropped 21.7% in the quarter, the worst since the 1975 recession. Investments in equipment and software fell an eye-popping 28.1%, the worst since the 1958 recession. Spending on structures fell 9.4%, the first decline in more than three years.
Residential investment fell 22.8% in the fourth quarter, the 12th consecutive decline in the sector where it all began.
Let me guess...DOW UP ANOTHER 500!
Other aspects of the report were very negative. Corporate profits before taxes fell a record $250 billion, or 16.5% at a quarterly rate. It was the largest percentage decline in profits since 1953. Domestic profits of financial corporations dropped $178 billion, while domestic profits of nonfinancial companies dropped $89 billion.
The government's estimates of profits from current operations do not include the writing down of bad assets.
For all of 2008, profits fell 10.1%, the most since 1970.
Consumer spending fell at a 4.3% pace in the fourth quarter, the worst since 1980. Spending on durable goods plunged 22.1%, the worst since 1987. Spending on nondurable goods fell a record 9.4%. Spending on services rose 1.5%.
Business investment dropped 21.7% in the quarter, the worst since the 1975 recession. Investments in equipment and software fell an eye-popping 28.1%, the worst since the 1958 recession. Spending on structures fell 9.4%, the first decline in more than three years.
Residential investment fell 22.8% in the fourth quarter, the 12th consecutive decline in the sector where it all began.
Let me guess...DOW UP ANOTHER 500!
ILFC, which leases jets to airlines, was thought to be one of the New York-based insurer's jewels. But like many of AIG's business units....
It turned out to be taxpayer-paid costume jewelry.
It turned out to be taxpayer-paid costume jewelry.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
We should have mentioned this before but we are very sorry to learn that WALTER WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!! has lost his chief ghostwriter, who now appears to be obsessing over the notion that awful movies become great when they're CONSERVATIVE. We do hope Walt can make lots of errors and run tons of unsubstantiated rumors and show-biz advertising without him.
Actually I'd rather talk about Valerie's figure.
This is not in GOOP territory but it must have taken a lot of physical excruciation to get there; and that is why, great though her figure is, it cannot be for us men an unalloyed pleasure.
Nevertheless the sight of Valerie in her bikini -- we hope reasonably truthful -- rather comprehensively takes care of that scene in Tennessee Williams's tony mellerdrammer A Streetcar Named Desire in which one of the slobs subjects his girlfriend or whatever to a harsh light, as though at a police interrrogation, and finds every last crow's foot on her face -- even though the woman is only, what, 30? To which we say, a baby under a harsh light would look bad, and there is nothing wrong with middle-aged women trying to look good, and there is no reason a middle-aged woman can't look reasonably sexy -- indeed we'd say too many folks look like such slobs that this sort of self-improvement should be richly encouraged.
(Via Yahoo!; originally posted 5:28 p. m.)
This is not in GOOP territory but it must have taken a lot of physical excruciation to get there; and that is why, great though her figure is, it cannot be for us men an unalloyed pleasure.
Nevertheless the sight of Valerie in her bikini -- we hope reasonably truthful -- rather comprehensively takes care of that scene in Tennessee Williams's tony mellerdrammer A Streetcar Named Desire in which one of the slobs subjects his girlfriend or whatever to a harsh light, as though at a police interrrogation, and finds every last crow's foot on her face -- even though the woman is only, what, 30? To which we say, a baby under a harsh light would look bad, and there is nothing wrong with middle-aged women trying to look good, and there is no reason a middle-aged woman can't look reasonably sexy -- indeed we'd say too many folks look like such slobs that this sort of self-improvement should be richly encouraged.
(Via Yahoo!; originally posted 5:28 p. m.)
And after this spin do we still call Jake a pretty good guy?
The hacks have fired a warning shot across our bow: they intend to be sound asleep during the whole budget debate, and hope to wake up to a revivified economy -- much the way Pinch went to sleep hoping Chas would go away.
And though it links from NRO (sigh), we learn that as an IMF functionary Timmy helped destroy the Indonesian economy. Let us hope this does not have fool me once written all over it.
Although I have pretty well learned to read any story about the economy with my eyes instantly glazing over without any further help.
The hacks have fired a warning shot across our bow: they intend to be sound asleep during the whole budget debate, and hope to wake up to a revivified economy -- much the way Pinch went to sleep hoping Chas would go away.
And though it links from NRO (sigh), we learn that as an IMF functionary Timmy helped destroy the Indonesian economy. Let us hope this does not have fool me once written all over it.
Although I have pretty well learned to read any story about the economy with my eyes instantly glazing over without any further help.
How exasperating to have to read sinister nuances into EVERY article regardless of how pure they are. This guy from the former home of Anonymous says The One should speak boldly to the public, which is true enough; and that Dubya hid under the Oval Office desk, also true enough; but Slick shows the danger of letting your mouth run the White House, and though The One may not be overexposed now he sets up the chance he may be so later; and given how effusive SUPERADAM!!!!!!!!!! was to the First Lady (or should that be the Other One), and given this rag's history of obsequious political hacks, it is hard not to try to spot the wrong in a piece even when it's right.
More from con-SER-va-tives:
Not-So-Silent Barack
The boss points out that Obama seemed to channel Calvin Coolidge last night when touting the "philosophy of persistence".
Posted by John McCormack at 03:55 PM
| E-mail the author | E-mail article
Doesn't that make him a good guy?
Not-So-Silent Barack
The boss points out that Obama seemed to channel Calvin Coolidge last night when touting the "philosophy of persistence".
Posted by John McCormack at 03:55 PM
| E-mail the author | E-mail article
Doesn't that make him a good guy?
We'd learned this before, but this post was too good to pass up:
Bummer [Kathryn Jean Lopez]
There will be no Senator Kudlow.
03/25 10:49 AM
Share
Bummer indeed! No chance to hear GEKKO defend his friends GOLDILOCKS and Dick "A Billion Dollars Wouldn't Be Too Much for Him" Grasso. Yes, a bummer we were spared prime comedy!
With friends like these the P. O. P. doesn't need enemies.
P. S. at 11:52 a. m. The DUHB gets exercised over a two-year-old story. The comedy continues!
Bummer [Kathryn Jean Lopez]
There will be no Senator Kudlow.
03/25 10:49 AM
ShareBummer indeed! No chance to hear GEKKO defend his friends GOLDILOCKS and Dick "A Billion Dollars Wouldn't Be Too Much for Him" Grasso. Yes, a bummer we were spared prime comedy!
With friends like these the P. O. P. doesn't need enemies.
P. S. at 11:52 a. m. The DUHB gets exercised over a two-year-old story. The comedy continues!
The hacks got briefly excited that the Hallmark Channel is putting on 35 new "original" dramas. Let's do a little math: If they're all two hours long that's 70 hours. A year has 8,760 hours. Four hours of prime-time a night and you get 1,460 hours. We would say, for all the revuers' hosannahs, there is still not enough "original programming" for one cable network.
And unless the reverse Robin Hoods have suddenly talked themselves into believing the depr -- ECONOMY is over, they'll all be made on the cheap, as is nearly all of cable's "original programming" (except for sports, where often you can't see the money), meaning more glorified filler.
I still submit there is no more original entertainment programming on all of TV than during the 1950s, and no more original programming than on radio in the 1940s.
And unless the reverse Robin Hoods have suddenly talked themselves into believing the depr -- ECONOMY is over, they'll all be made on the cheap, as is nearly all of cable's "original programming" (except for sports, where often you can't see the money), meaning more glorified filler.
I still submit there is no more original entertainment programming on all of TV than during the 1950s, and no more original programming than on radio in the 1940s.
TRANSLATION: If we get this correct, while unit housing sales were up in February, dollar volume was considerably down, meaning there's still a housing glut.
Which won't keep the GEKKOS from running stocks up another 500 points!
Are the GEKKOS buying now for the same reason they sold in October?
Which won't keep the GEKKOS from running stocks up another 500 points!
Are the GEKKOS buying now for the same reason they sold in October?
With the TWXSTERS' DC Comics Pictures unit making nothing but tentpoles, it figures it should back an online videogame outlet, presumably to help provide it more tentpoles. But if videogames are movees and you can get your videogames online, who needs movees or the popcorn restaurants?
Maybe the economy is starting to come back -- the auto makers are financing junk TV again!
Pfffffffffffffffffffffffft!
(Via TV Week)
Pfffffffffffffffffffffffft!
(Via TV Week)
Heck, even the ASSPress admits he's having problems getting his own party to burn all that money.
We don't want to ditch on a prez just to ditch on him, but hacks are totally incapable of self-reflection -- unless it's in the mirror.
We don't want to ditch on a prez just to ditch on him, but hacks are totally incapable of self-reflection -- unless it's in the mirror.
TRANSLATION: The One looks good, therefore he is good.
Too many hacks think the problem with their business is the economic model, or too many zombies before their computers, or all those evil Einsteins zapping the stock market. The TWXSTERS' former flagship was losing weight fast long before anyone heard of Lehman Brothers. But the nice thing about being a hack is it's NEVER your fault. Especially when you can engage yet again in the kind of surface coverage you always complain about at seminars.
Too many hacks think the problem with their business is the economic model, or too many zombies before their computers, or all those evil Einsteins zapping the stock market. The TWXSTERS' former flagship was losing weight fast long before anyone heard of Lehman Brothers. But the nice thing about being a hack is it's NEVER your fault. Especially when you can engage yet again in the kind of surface coverage you always complain about at seminars.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
How is a prime time presidential news conference like a Vegas casino? The odds are stacked for the House.
The Obama team knows this. They understand that taking a few tough questions is a small price to pay for a prime time audience.
They called the press conference tonight because they know they have enough good news to fill the first 10 minutes, when the audience is paying the most attention.
Journolist and your party line loading the dice, George?
The Obama team knows this. They understand that taking a few tough questions is a small price to pay for a prime time audience.
They called the press conference tonight because they know they have enough good news to fill the first 10 minutes, when the audience is paying the most attention.
Journolist and your party line loading the dice, George?
You can be sure that for every jerk who undermines business with his compromised ethics, there are 99 decent, hard-working people who wake up every day determined to do right.
Unfortunately jerks have a way of getting business magazines to call them LEGENDARY.
GE BANCORP still over 82 PERCENT off its all-time shady-finance-inflated high.
P. S.
You can be sure that this summer there will be a new song on the radio that is so catchy and fun you can't get it out of your head.
One of the first things LEGENDARY did after He bought RCA (RCA what?) was to sell its records unit. The following year He sold NBC's radio network and stations. I don't want to guess LEGENDARY's musical tastes (aside from the sound of His voice, that is).
You can be completely and absolutely sure that the first hotdog you eat at the ballpark on Opening Day is going to be as good as it gets, and the second one won't be bad either.
WILL YOU BUY THE @#$%&* SOX ALREADY?
Unfortunately jerks have a way of getting business magazines to call them LEGENDARY.
GE BANCORP still over 82 PERCENT off its all-time shady-finance-inflated high.
P. S.
You can be sure that this summer there will be a new song on the radio that is so catchy and fun you can't get it out of your head.
One of the first things LEGENDARY did after He bought RCA (RCA what?) was to sell its records unit. The following year He sold NBC's radio network and stations. I don't want to guess LEGENDARY's musical tastes (aside from the sound of His voice, that is).
You can be completely and absolutely sure that the first hotdog you eat at the ballpark on Opening Day is going to be as good as it gets, and the second one won't be bad either.
WILL YOU BUY THE @#$%&* SOX ALREADY?
Brilliant thinking: From the home of mumblecore and beautiful perpetually nude actresses (ugh) our intrepid AdAge correspondent tells us what interactive entertainment must do to strike it rich with marketing types, in seven simple truisms:
1. Vision delivers ROI.
TRANSLATION: For every Jeff Bezos there are fifty pets.coms. Even eBay isn't what it was. Hasn't anyone learned from the bust? "Vision" - luck = ZERO.
2. Marketing and customer experience are the same thing.
TRANSLATION: If we can talk people into thinking GEORGE WASHINGTON HILL-SPIT-ON-THE-DESK ADS in YouTube and Hulu and whatnot are the bee's knees we've got it made.
3. Avoid stupid, stupid.
Nobody ever went broke underestimating the...oh, never mind.
4. You can make money from 'free' stuff.
HuffPo and seattlepi.com will show you how! So will BitTorrent!
5. Participation will be ubiquitous.
Just because people are crazy for high-tech MAHJONG now....
6. Dad is the new Mom.
1. Listen, haven't we tried social engineering before? 2. I guess someone told these investment bankers of MadAve to stop insulting men.
7. Low overhead is the new currency. Especially for start-ups.
See 4. -- and also see 1.
1. Vision delivers ROI.
TRANSLATION: For every Jeff Bezos there are fifty pets.coms. Even eBay isn't what it was. Hasn't anyone learned from the bust? "Vision" - luck = ZERO.
2. Marketing and customer experience are the same thing.
TRANSLATION: If we can talk people into thinking GEORGE WASHINGTON HILL-SPIT-ON-THE-DESK ADS in YouTube and Hulu and whatnot are the bee's knees we've got it made.
3. Avoid stupid, stupid.
Nobody ever went broke underestimating the...oh, never mind.
4. You can make money from 'free' stuff.
HuffPo and seattlepi.com will show you how! So will BitTorrent!
5. Participation will be ubiquitous.
Just because people are crazy for high-tech MAHJONG now....
6. Dad is the new Mom.
1. Listen, haven't we tried social engineering before? 2. I guess someone told these investment bankers of MadAve to stop insulting men.
7. Low overhead is the new currency. Especially for start-ups.
See 4. -- and also see 1.
Pelosi's role diminishes under Obama
Hmmm, have The One's famed acolytes been on the phone with the LALATimes?
Hmmm, have The One's famed acolytes been on the phone with the LALATimes?
His Holiness also thinks he can get out the word by preaching to the converted.
He might be better off sending a thunderbolt to CO-PRESIDENT BABS.
He might be better off sending a thunderbolt to CO-PRESIDENT BABS.
The One writes an "editorial", and China bellows that it wants a currency to replace the dollar as the world standard. And we thought only Americans didn't listen to our "leaders".
If Republicans had to shut up every member of their party who should shut up the P. O. P. would never open its mouth.
(Via The Daily Beast)
(Via The Daily Beast)
GASP! Maj. Rupert Bowes's contestants -- LIP-SYNC?!?!?
How much of our time must PVT. ZELL and his cohorts waste with junk like this?
And the EOnline story was three days old to boot.
How much of our time must PVT. ZELL and his cohorts waste with junk like this?
And the EOnline story was three days old to boot.
LIAR LIAR BROCK'S ON FIRE! gets his puppet. Now every time one of the BIG C's mouths idiotically screams that the stock market is going through the roof all Liar has to do is pull the cord and the Doctor will idiotically scream about how half of America lives in poverty. Great job, Liar!
Monday, March 23, 2009
If you want to be angry about something, get pissed at a media culture that goes beserk [SIC] about bonuses one week and forgets all about them the next. And be worried, quite worried, about a society for whom anger is a form of entertainment.
Why couldn't someone other than Anonymous have written this?
And now that he got it off his chest he can go back to entertaining himself with the perfidy of neocons, and go "beserk" over the infamy of Israel.
Why couldn't someone other than Anonymous have written this?
And now that he got it off his chest he can go back to entertaining himself with the perfidy of neocons, and go "beserk" over the infamy of Israel.
Now we know what SUMNER does with His free time. He must have thousands working to goose the press. God -- er, SUMNER knows how many helped on this scheme. You'd think with all His success doing cheap PR, culminating with the brilliant wardrobe "malfunction" gag, that VIAB would be worth a lot more than $18 a share (counting today's Timmy premium), and this God wouldn't have to dart about like a cartoon character renegotiating His loans.
P. S. on 3/24 at 2:55 p. m. Slashdot's geeks say SUMNER's analyst is a longtime NASA fan. I say it's a shtick, and I say look Who rules over VIACON.
P. S. on 3/24 at 2:55 p. m. Slashdot's geeks say SUMNER's analyst is a longtime NASA fan. I say it's a shtick, and I say look Who rules over VIACON.
And the heart of CW says The One is now on a path of greatness to rival Lincoln!!!!!
You cannot believe ONE word of reporting these days because everybody's infected with the PAUL DRECK virus -- they MUST HYPE.
You cannot believe ONE word of reporting these days because everybody's infected with the PAUL DRECK virus -- they MUST HYPE.
Say -- if that extremely annoying 140-character FAD can start a rumor about The New Yorker -- yes, The New Yorker -- going bi-weekly, maybe it can start a few rumors about BANKS! and STOCKS!
How 'bout it, SHORTS?
(Revised 3/25 at 9:33 p. m. Did I use "word" for "character"? Yes indeed.
How 'bout it, SHORTS?
(Revised 3/25 at 9:33 p. m. Did I use "word" for "character"? Yes indeed.
Despite the ENTHUSIASM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for our salvation through TIMMY!!!!!!!!!!! it appears a lot of people -- right AND LEFT -- don't like it.
Here's what scary: everybody's SURE it will or won't work. Yet we're about to go perhaps an extra $1 TRILLION in debt on nothing but a wing and a prayer. Is this any way to fix an economy?
Here's what scary: everybody's SURE it will or won't work. Yet we're about to go perhaps an extra $1 TRILLION in debt on nothing but a wing and a prayer. Is this any way to fix an economy?
"IF THE TEA LEAVES ALL START TO LINE TOGETHER I THINK THIS WILL BE THE BEGINNING OF A MAJOR BULL MARKET!!!!!" [BIG BIG C overemphasis added]
JIM! JIM BOOM BOOM CRAMER!! YOU ARE FORGIVEN! THE DEPR -- ECONOMY IS DEFINITELY OVER!
Even ED MURROW will forgive you!
I said 500 -- up 497! BIG C! You should hire me!
JIM! JIM BOOM BOOM CRAMER!! YOU ARE FORGIVEN! THE DEPR -- ECONOMY IS DEFINITELY OVER!
Even ED MURROW will forgive you!
I said 500 -- up 497! BIG C! You should hire me!
UNBELIEVABLE!! THESE GUYS ACTUALLY HAVE NIGHTMARES ABOUT BROADENING PROSPERITY — AND THE ECONOMIC FREEDOM THAT BRINGS IT ABOUT!!!!! (Unbelievable overemphasis added)
Well if enough Indians buy enough Nanos and fuel them with enough gas whatever economic freedom Timmy and those boys leave us will disappear. $500-a-barrel oil, anyone?
Thankfully TaTA!!!!! is only making four to five thousand a month, for now. But hey, Ford had to start someplace.
Well if enough Indians buy enough Nanos and fuel them with enough gas whatever economic freedom Timmy and those boys leave us will disappear. $500-a-barrel oil, anyone?
Thankfully TaTA!!!!! is only making four to five thousand a month, for now. But hey, Ford had to start someplace.
Conservative Catholics are raising a stink because Notre Dame is giving The One an honorary degree. If it withdrew its favor now it would look like a putz. Besides, the big N may have given up some of its virtue when it decided to be a football factory.
I'd guess someone will give a lecture beforehand as a sort of equal time, but it will be so windily worded as to float into meaninglessness, as intended. The One will answer back by expelling gas too.
P. S. I changed the word honor to favor in the second sentence. Clearly in granting an honorary degree a kolledge hands out a favor hoping to do itself one.
I'd guess someone will give a lecture beforehand as a sort of equal time, but it will be so windily worded as to float into meaninglessness, as intended. The One will answer back by expelling gas too.
P. S. I changed the word honor to favor in the second sentence. Clearly in granting an honorary degree a kolledge hands out a favor hoping to do itself one.
Seeking Alpha linked to some blogger who got justly excited (so excited he posted a bad URL) that our government-enriched friends at CitiField are planting 4 SAIL CHEEP signs before scads of foreclosed houses and leaving a lot of money behind. $1 trillon, $2 trillion, $10 trillion -- who's counting? Not CitiField.
Elsewhere on Tina's site, there's a big fight going on over which Hollywood superinsider can tell the least truth -- or should we say, tell the least truth and get the most rewards for it while seeming not to tell the least truth. If anything unites Paramount Pete, and SUPERNIKKI!!!!!!, and the WAX, and the whole blasted show-biz PR staff at the LALATimes, it's that they don't give two hoots about what kind of doggy-doo their beloved Hollywood voids, so long as they're first with the news -- and the snidely-worded and not-too-heavily-veiled congratulations.
The fusty old GREATEST SATIRIC NOVELIST EVER!!!!! has the flu:
[I]t’s hardly as though the president of the United States lacks for venues, and such appearances have a way of trivializing any issue. Try, if you will, to imagine Dwight Eisenhower or JFK or Lyndon Johnson or, for that matter, Ronald Reagan chin-wagging with Jack Paar or Johnny Carson. Richard Nixon did, famously, go on Laugh In in 1968, but as a candidate; and to his credit, he rued the day and hated every second of it.
And he may have won the election thanks to it.
President Obama came to office proclaiming that he aims to solve problems, not hand them on to our children. Most presidents say that sort of thing. But now we are in very dire straits, and that being the case, he will be held to account. It’s your legacy, sir, and let’s not hear any more about “inheriting the crisis.” You asked for the job. Meanwhile, let us hope that his talent for mastering a sérieux financial crisis are not on a level with the Special Olympians of Wall Street, and Congress.
Achoo!
Must you spread your columns? Obamaman, please get well soon and write another "comic" novel.
[I]t’s hardly as though the president of the United States lacks for venues, and such appearances have a way of trivializing any issue. Try, if you will, to imagine Dwight Eisenhower or JFK or Lyndon Johnson or, for that matter, Ronald Reagan chin-wagging with Jack Paar or Johnny Carson. Richard Nixon did, famously, go on Laugh In in 1968, but as a candidate; and to his credit, he rued the day and hated every second of it.
And he may have won the election thanks to it.
President Obama came to office proclaiming that he aims to solve problems, not hand them on to our children. Most presidents say that sort of thing. But now we are in very dire straits, and that being the case, he will be held to account. It’s your legacy, sir, and let’s not hear any more about “inheriting the crisis.” You asked for the job. Meanwhile, let us hope that his talent for mastering a sérieux financial crisis are not on a level with the Special Olympians of Wall Street, and Congress.
Achoo!
Must you spread your columns? Obamaman, please get well soon and write another "comic" novel.
And in yet another press release:
Having mastered the Hollywood gossip scene, celebrity site TMZ apparently has set its sights on a new conquest — Capitol Hill.
The site — owned by Time Warner, CNN’s parent company — has started accosting members of Congress, including Illinois Republican Rep. Aaron Schock, as they go about their work in Washington.
You're boasting of it?
Having mastered the Hollywood gossip scene, celebrity site TMZ apparently has set its sights on a new conquest — Capitol Hill.
The site — owned by Time Warner, CNN’s parent company — has started accosting members of Congress, including Illinois Republican Rep. Aaron Schock, as they go about their work in Washington.
You're boasting of it?
And speaking of press releases, here's one from the ASSPress. The good news: the TWXSTERS are mining their movie vaults. The bad news: it's ON DEMAND, and the pricing reflects it -- $15 for a download, $20 for a DVD. We don't fault George Feltenstein, that very able executive whom we've praised before; he knows there's not exactly a public clamor for Once Upon a Honeymoon. But so many vintage discs now go for single-digits through the online retailers -- we got the TWXSTERS' 10-disc Garbo Collection as a cutout for $25 -- we wonder what this pricing is supposed to prove, except that PEOPLE WARNER is tone deaf as usual.
Timmy pins the tail on the donkey -- and the Dow threatens to go up 500 points.
Just hope that donkey isn't a Democrat.
That he'll pin a debt immemorial on us goes without saying.
Just hope that donkey isn't a Democrat.
That he'll pin a debt immemorial on us goes without saying.
I hate posting about DA POST!!!!!'s press releases but it's a wonder we haven't heard more about publicly-subsidized AHT from The One's acolytes. This fills the bill perfectly: public nudity for an audience of three. (It's from Snark's beloved "mumblecore" "movement", whose name appears to be so apt the movee ad-blurbists don't realize it, as though they realize anything.) That these exhibitionists' exhibitions will come and go without a trace says something about moveemaking these days.
NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD WINNING V. A.!!!!!, judging from your beautiful mug I 'd say it's time to retire -- five years ago.
P. S. No, of course it isn't the star of this Ted Mack production; that's Adele Mara, a B-movie actress of the golden age, whom I'd like to think would have given a good hard slap to any mumblecore mumbler. I post it to try to rid myself of the memory of the picture V. A. enclosed with his flack sheet. ("I am extremely fortunate that I have a boyfriend that is supportive. If he wants to close his eyes during those sections, I don't blame him at all." I think she could have slapped your boyfriend too.) Why in God's name can't actresses have faces? Or sense?
One thing though -- why was she seated like that? Not that we care.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Critics rarely take Baldacci's novels seriously. The reviews of his books (when they're reviewed at all) can be nasty: "The Winner," "full of mixed metaphors and malapropisms, often reads like an exercise by someone trying out a language he is not entirely at home with," wrote a New York Times reviewer.
Sort of like...the upcoming Econowiz in American?
Sort of like...the upcoming Econowiz in American?
If it's Sunday it must be Big Double-A-Scribble Time:
1. The trade group for the reverse Robin Hoods has its doubts about selling in this depr -- ECONOMY:
The Association of National Advertisers, too, seems to view an effort to get people spending as foolhardy. "It's not going to be an advertising campaign that's going to get people to spend or to invest or whatever," said ANA CEO Bob Liodice. "It's going to be the effect of government policies that's going to convince people to spend money or not."
If you're giving up on annoying us now why do you annoy us when the economy's good? Doesn't this line deep-six the notion of advertising as panacea?
For now, it's probably up to individual marketers to show that they can deliver great value for the consumer -- and aren't all about lining the pockets of their senior executives.
We've given up on that notion for some time -- and it didn't take a depr -- ECONOMY to do it.
2. Broadcast TV or Cable, It's All the Same to Consumers
It's all the same to me -- the same bad through two sources which don't seem like two sources, and they're extruded by the same media megalith. I trust this won't keep the reverse Robin Hoods from spending more for more junk; if anything the end of this distinction might give them an excuse to really run roughshod over our psyches.
3. But there is hope -- with newspapers losing their vigor, and perhaps all our TV coming through the computer, and so many shows having the audience the size of public-access cable, media will find themselves so vitiated as to lose a lot of influence. The AIG psychosis says don't bet on it. We'll merely have a new kind of bad.
1. The trade group for the reverse Robin Hoods has its doubts about selling in this depr -- ECONOMY:
The Association of National Advertisers, too, seems to view an effort to get people spending as foolhardy. "It's not going to be an advertising campaign that's going to get people to spend or to invest or whatever," said ANA CEO Bob Liodice. "It's going to be the effect of government policies that's going to convince people to spend money or not."
If you're giving up on annoying us now why do you annoy us when the economy's good? Doesn't this line deep-six the notion of advertising as panacea?
For now, it's probably up to individual marketers to show that they can deliver great value for the consumer -- and aren't all about lining the pockets of their senior executives.
We've given up on that notion for some time -- and it didn't take a depr -- ECONOMY to do it.
2. Broadcast TV or Cable, It's All the Same to Consumers
It's all the same to me -- the same bad through two sources which don't seem like two sources, and they're extruded by the same media megalith. I trust this won't keep the reverse Robin Hoods from spending more for more junk; if anything the end of this distinction might give them an excuse to really run roughshod over our psyches.
3. But there is hope -- with newspapers losing their vigor, and perhaps all our TV coming through the computer, and so many shows having the audience the size of public-access cable, media will find themselves so vitiated as to lose a lot of influence. The AIG psychosis says don't bet on it. We'll merely have a new kind of bad.
We understand why the California P. O. P. -- that's the Party of PILLHEAD -- is stiffing these courageous legisla-TORS. Too many believe they do the "courageous" thing by doing what the news hacks say. Thanks to them they have also come to believe inflicting taxes on the peons is courageous. That said there may be a time for taxation -- but in certain P. O. P. precincts there is NO time for it, for taxation might deprive the big PILL of His cigars.
And now we hear from that repository (or is that suppository) of CW Zeitgeist that The One's ethics fixation is driving away "the best and the brightest". Zeitgeist employs many best and brightest. NUF SAID.
One argument against the pee-PUL punishing the Einsteins is we need their help to fix the mess, and also if you punish Einsteins there may not be people to fix it. This does not answer the question of how they became Einsteins in the first place. And if they're such Einsteins why did they blow up our economy? And who can say many of the "mediocrities" below them would be such horrors? As we've seen with sales--ANALYSTS Wall Street can punish people for the most trivial reasons...like telling the truth about a stock. How do we know their replacements will be that bad? The Einsteins have already burned us once.
This also answers the notion that they will get even with their government masters. BERNIE did a pretty good job of getting even with a lot of people too, and he didn't have a government boss.
This also answers the notion that they will get even with their government masters. BERNIE did a pretty good job of getting even with a lot of people too, and he didn't have a government boss.
Not long ago we mentioned the late Mike Royko's superb taste in women. And then on the other end there's A-ROD. The Man, strippers, this...lady....If A has not set himself up as the biggest ASS in professional sport we don't know who is. But the idiot fans will continue to bow the heads and pay the bucks, and there will be more strippers, and prosties, and embarrassing photos -- or we would say embarrassing if A were the embarrassed type.
The catastrophe in Oakland makes us wonder why more scum don't go after the police, and how they manage to survive it. That "thin blue line" separates us from total anarchy, and too many are for anarchy.
When even The Paper of Re-CORD's Nobel laureate is reduced to saying, "What an awful mess", we're in trouble.
The trouble is vastly compounded because so many dire assets were so "sliced and diced" virtually no one owns them.
We'll come out of it, somehow, but it may take the financial equivalent of a ceremonial bonfire just to rid us of these worthless "assets".
The trouble is vastly compounded because so many dire assets were so "sliced and diced" virtually no one owns them.
We'll come out of it, somehow, but it may take the financial equivalent of a ceremonial bonfire just to rid us of these worthless "assets".