Posted 10:50 PM by Gene

So something called the American Psychological Association is politically correct.

What news did the ASSPRESS ignore so it could feel good?

Posted 7:16 PM by Gene

Anohter reason RENDELLISM is a PESTILENCE: The city down on its luck most heeds its siren call. CASINOSSTADIUMSCONVENTIONCENTERSARTSRESTAURANTSMOVIESTUDIOSHEALTHCAREEDUCATION is a tempting mix of high publicity, inflated promises, white elephants and perpetual debt. Add a savior into the mix and the city loses its senses. And what happens when the savior cannot heal the sick, but reserves his best cures for himself? Clevelanders must first blame themselves for turning their city to ruin, but if they reclaimed the guts they abandoned along with their once great place it could still come back.



We must note, too, George Szell died forty years ago on the 30th. No one mourns him. He was one of America's greatest music makers. Szell merged Cleveland and greatness. Where is the George Szell who can help lead his town back to it?

Posted 9:10 PM by Gene

We should have posted earlier: An inescapable mark of our city's RENDELLISM is the flotilla of dubious tourist dinghies on wheels that chug around all the touristy spots making big money for all the waiters, bellhops and busboys who RENDELLISM's inventor says will fuel our 21st-century economy. I call them The Alan Sues Memorial Flotilla as I can see that hyperactive unfunny comic taking the mike and making also sorts of unwise cracks about the wonders they're passing while playing all sorts of stupid tunes on the PA. One time on South Street (which the Sueses canNOT reconnoiter without playing "South Street") a dinghy got in a fender bender and acquired a pretty fair gash; even before then I wondered how they'd fare in an accident on the river. Calamitously, we have found out. We can guess how this could have happened: The motley crews are so busy providing the tourists ENTERTAINMENT (and with RENDELLISM providing ENTERTAINMENT is the NOBLEST CAUSE -- was not A GREAT ENTERTAINMENT FILMED HERE?) they probably don't know their sterns from a hole in the ground on safe boating -- and they don't have to, not that the dinghies could provide it. This disaster will certainly not put an end to the craven catering of tourists at the center of RENDELLISM; it might not even make people think twice before an encounter with these Alans, though on that score it should.

Elsewhere in our city, a city that once knew the noble names of the Baldwin Locomotive Works, the Pennsylvania Railroad, the Budd Company and Stetson, an ah-TEEST proposes erecting a fifty-foot paint brush, and the locals, who don't know their sterns from a hole in the ground either (a CABLE MAGNATE fully fits that bill), magnificently swoon. Judging from the tilting design this is a sure repeat of the civic-proud stupidity in Manchester -- and that masterwork was TORN DOWN.

P. S. on 7/16 at 10:40 p. m. We should make clear the operators of the tugboat that towed the barge that collided with the dinghy appear to have been the irresponsible party; but tourists wouldn't risk their lives in dinghies but for the RENDELLISTS' fiscal thrill of TOURISM.

Posted 7:53 PM by Gene

We suspect in time for all the anguish the Gulf spill will not prove that bad. There are worse things on the planet we're capable of ignoring -- like the environmental catastrophe that is the Niger Delta, or the floating garbage dumps made of petroleum products, or thousands of abandoned offshore wells that no one knows what to do with. Awareness and perseverance are the key -- and one wonders if the human race fully has them.

What will be annoying is if cheap partisan hacks turn this in to an IMMORTAL VICTORY for YOU-KNOW-WHO, something He had little to do with pro or con, LIBYA'S FAVORITE OIL COMPANY deserving most of the con -- and even a little of the pro.

Posted 5:53 PM by Gene

And has it ever been more obvious the idiot news hacks and their media enablers are for sale to the highest bidder -- and that we shouldn't pay for their bidding?

Posted 2:41 PM by Gene

This was regarded as the greatest newspaper front page of all time -- until today, when some bloggers and TWITS and an ad campaign came along. Ninety-eight years from now historians of whatever the nooz biz has transmogrified into will roll their eyes -- if the evidence still exists. This front page will live even then.



A SPECIAL NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD (well, not that he deserves it; he wouldn't actually DO those sorts of things -- he and Poynter have ETHICS!) to ROMY!

Posted 9:08 AM by Gene

Elsewhere in DA POST!!!!! SLIME, that acme of incoherence, communicates that JOHN THE DON has accused the FCC thereof, meaning both Gods must be ready to buy something.

Posted 8:48 AM by Gene

Gee, LORD KOPPEL, don't you just wish you were alive to pontificate about this on Nightlight?

And gee, news hacks, don't you just wish this had happened in a bigger city?

Posted 8:44 AM by Gene

Let's see: Some guy had this Ponzi scheme to steal from celebrities -- and LEGENDARY SCORSESE (that's his new name with us -- thank You, SLIME!) is being sued by said Ponzi artist for stiffing the guy out of his fees.

If this were someone else we'd chalk this up to utter boneheadedness; but because it's LEGENDARY SCORSESE we can again quote from THE MASTER: "Sir, there is no settling the point of precedency between a louse and a flea."

Posted 8:27 AM by Gene

Sorry, the jobs aren't coming back, and for one good reason: whatever crotchets cause the liberal to be less than fully patriotic, your typical big-business CEO is EVEN LESS.

Or as I've said before, "Any big business that calls itself 'international' gives itself carte blanche to commit treason." And CEOs are traitors to the NTH DEGREE.

Posted 8:16 AM by Gene

I'll say it again: Why do news hacks think we're so stupid? When a rag like The New Econowiz, run by a student of that savior who had tantrums when things didn't go politically his way and got his revenge by creating hundreds of zillionaire followers who did his tantruming for him, talks of litmus tests, we first think of the hacks' litmus tests, and we know they work because all the new employs already agree to them. News hacks, bluntly speaking, are intolerant, and when they suggest ways for the peons to be more tolerant we should not listen.

Please, please, dear God, let Zeitgeist fold!

Posted 7:14 PM by Gene

Perfesser Shafer makes a strong case that those inopportune loudmouths of Cable Nuisance Network and The Daily Kaplan should not have been punished. But he also says:

[B]iases shouldn't be thought of as invasive weeds, choking the garden, but as nutrients. The job of a journalist is to gather evidence, test it, and come to conclusions wherever feasible. Such an enterprise is impossible to undertake without biases. Indeed, like scientific inquires, almost every new story always begins with some sort of bias or hunch or leaning. A reporter or an editor thinks this story is more promising or interesting than that story, therefore they agree to pursue it. But without reporting both stories—or every possible story, which is impossible—how can the editor and reporter really know which was the "right" story to assign? They can't. They can only trust their biases.

Agreed -- but what happens when nearly everyone in the news biz shares the same biases?

Posted 6:49 PM by Gene

If ZONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! is doing so fantastically spectacularly earth-shatteringly WELL why is His stock stuck at $1?

Posted 6:25 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: Rightists have their own least-favorite religion -- and LEFTISTS HAVE THEIRS.

Can't ED MURROW!!!!! take a job at the U. S. Information Agency? [SIC!]

And can't WOLFFMAN!!!!! work behind a PAY WALL?

Posted 6:22 PM by Gene

Nifty -- the IMF's lecturing us about our budget deficit!

But knowing His Omnipotence it should take. Doesn't the I stand for International? And isn't He the first Post-National President?

Posted 6:17 PM by Gene

Perhaps THE MOST ANNOYING PUBLICITY STUNT OF THE YEAR would be just more garbage except This King of His Own Mind could engage in NIFTY INSIDER TRADING if He wanted to. Who is to say His hangers on haven't -- and God knows every Professional AAAAAAAAAAAAAATTITUDINALIST is bound to have REGIMENTS. One thing's certain -- we hope the winning team LOSES, though it probably won't.

Posted 6:15 PM by Gene

Iranian Embassy denies widow to be stoned to death

No, they'll think up another way.

By the way, is THE MESS going to be the official outlet for The Paper Slime Destroyed?

Posted 5:43 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



Say whadya think of this neat new barn I built ya? That'll be $12 million.



This could really use a bookcase.



An above-ground fallout shelter!



The Pedestrian Trestle to Nowhere!

Posted 5:03 PM by Gene

The Postal Disservice having applied its light touch to the Amazon.com package of GE BANCORP CFL bulbs I'm returning -- or possibly Amazon.com having it done it for them (Hey Very Littler Jeffy! We thought you were getting out of businesses that employed REAL PEOPLE! Although making them in China's close to the same thing) I requested some Sylvanias -- two dollars cheaper -- and to fill out the order for free shipping I got Vol. 6 of The Three Stooges. Look at the comments and you'll find it's HILARIOUS. That so many would use a news-hack favorite word that describes the unfunny things that tickle their shriveled funny bones says this isn't so funny either. But the motto of the day is "Everybody loves somebody sometime", and boy if Amazon.com's customers aren't love crazy. And there's a reason this may not be funny: This set is the second featuring Shemp, who as the world knows had to take over from Curly after the stroke that destroyed his health, and arguably the act. Perhaps because Shemp is widely regarded as the unfunny Stooge (how about the others?) the FANS think they must make up for it by calling him HILARIOUS. From overexposure in youth all I know is Shemp went MEEPMEEPMEEPMEEP!!!!! Half his schtick consisted of him downing an elixir, going into an uncontrolled spasm, and yelling MEEPMEEPMEEPMEEP!!!!! In a way his shtick's not so different from Curly's, and he went WOOWOOWOOWOO!!!!! (Curly was Shemp's replacement after vaudeville.) It's been long ago since I last saw them and never in high-def remastering but I'm certain I never laughed at them. What was funny about grown men acting as infants? And the Hays Office took care of the one thing that might have amused me as an adult, and then the boys would have been as funny as ADAM SANDLER. (And there is at least a hint of it in "Disorder in the Court".) Still I bought the first five volumes and am game for anything, even the remaining two including Joe Besser. As for Joe Di Rita, who appeared in the series of kiddie programmers and HILARIOUS TV cartoons Moe Howard devised after he finally realized how regally Harry Cohn shafted him, I can safely say fan disgust is not a matter of simple-minded groupthink.

P. S. on 7/31/2010 at 9:02 a. m. I had to return the Sylvanias. CFL bulbs are not meant for shipping -- and neither are the UPS or the USPS.

Posted 3:20 PM by Gene

We have not paid attention to ESPNCORP's loss in that Millionaire pilfering case because we figured It can make up the loss through Its FLAGSHIP PUBLICITY STUNT NETWORK in three minutes (or by doubling its rates, whichever makes more), but we were surely struck by this observation from the normally unobservant Hollywood Reporter:

"Juries are highly skeptical and view studios in the same light as insurance companies."

Why not oil companies? They make big money -- through pollution.

And consider this bonus observation:

Former [ESPNCORP] chairman and CEO Michael Eisner never appeared at trial, although an e-mail was read in which Eisner estimated the value of the show's rights at $1 billion and said it would reverse the network's fortunes. During Iger's testimony, he contradicted Eisner's e-mail by calling him a "great enthusiast" who might have been making "wild guesses" in describing the "Millionaire" franchise's worth.

Rather like the wild guesses he made about his immortality. Hey MICKEYMOUSE NIXON! How did the hot sun feel on your WAXEN WINGS?

(Via Seeking Alpha)

Posted 3:06 PM by Gene

Haven't we had these HISTORIC BREAKTHROUGHS IN AIDS RESEARCH!!!!!!!!!! before? And since when did SLIME'S MARKETWATCH get to be a credible source of scientific news?

Posted 3:02 PM by Gene

Well -- and we should have expected this -- looks like the BEEEEEE-UUUUU-TEEEEE won't have to spend any time in prison, nor will her comra...companions. If this were another time and there were no BEEEEE-UUUUU-TEEEEE we wouldn't notice; but with HIS OMNIPOTENCE as our God it sure does look like the edict came from His Throne Room (aka the Oval Office), and He's had sleepless nights thinking it might interfere with His plan to justify the Nob -- DENUCLEARIZE THE WORLD!!!!! Even if it isn't so (and it probably isn't) it sure smells of His weak -- His HOLIness.

When does Hollywood sign the contract?

Posted 9:50 AM by Gene

Newsweek: Funnyman Al Franken gets serious

I don't now how many times I've had to say news hacks think themselves so vastly more intelligent than the peons when it's often the other way around. Case in point: this MESS squib. You KNOW you're getting a puff piece just from reading it. And you also know you wouldn't be getting if if the subject weren't a conservative Republican. Maybe Mike thinks he can pull one on the readers but this sort of buffoonery merely adds to the exasperation of skimming the Web. If these clowns really think they can force us to pay for their garbage they'd better start thinking the peasants have SOME brains.

Posted 5:41 PM by Gene

And even corporate customers are saying high-tech's getting too big -- exactly the sort of thing that made Dell psychotically outsource, and lie to its clients.

Posted 5:31 PM by Gene

In the midst of still figuring out what to do for a new computer we learned of Dell's shenanigans with its motherboards. One might charitably say such deceit was born of the end of the tech boom, when such businesses had to do business rather than rely on CNBC fairy tales; but given that America's Leading Outsourcer still faces a Federal probe for other management excellence the problem clearly started at the top. And further given how He has so thoroughly wrecked what was once a great corporate reputation maybe the Phil Mickelson lookalike is overdue to RESIGN.

Posted 5:01 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



A cute little $3 million cottage -- but what's with the closed shutters and the prison gate?

Posted 9:43 AM by Gene

A Reasonable Man

In a world of loud voices and extreme positions, David Brooks manages to be both irrelevant and absolutely essential.

TRANSLATION: He's a "moderate" sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

SUPERADAM!!!!! thinks he invented MENSA. When will our media superiors come to realize their readers may OCCASIONALLY be smarter than they?

Posted 4:16 PM by Gene

A soundtrack blogger whom the authorities have "harassed" for posting a few too many in-print recordings (including some Elvis albums) is shutting his site down today -- you'll know who he is if you have that interest -- and today I am frenziedly downloading stuff I don't have, and the cumulative effect is mind-bending: all these third and fourth-rate films, most of which have languished in vaults since their release, from outfits like Lopert Pictures (the smutty ahthouse division of United Artists), often with poster art showing sex-crazed men chasing beauties in bath towels -- and the most sensational covers front the most banal or lachrymose music -- and starring the work of Elmer Bernstein and Jerry Goldsmith and Henry Mancini and others who have not aged well, and you could not pay people to hear these soundtracks, let alone to see the movies; but even in this purposeless hyperactive ennui one can learn a little something, in this case from the back cover of one item I will not identify, a PR0N with pretensions whose blurbs hopelessly slime it as a period piece and the cri-TICS as blind nose-in-the-airs:

"May the bluenoses leave it lay [SIC!] for the pleasure of those whose taste it is. Stands photographically head [SIC!] and shoulders over [a competitor I will not name]...and more varied! [Punctuation SIC!] The first ten minutes achieve Modigliani tones. The cast is enthusiastic... [Punctuation SIC!] [The lead, er, actress] makes a mark on your emotions!" [Punctuation SIC!]
--Judith Crist, NEW YORK MAGAZINE [Capitalization SIC!]

"The most technically polished erotic movie. Bizarre, explicit, imaginative artistry. It's not a film for the "Sound of Music" - Radio City Music Hall - Reader's Digest audience. But for those who constitute the obviously very large audience for Erotica [Capitalization SIC!], it's certainly the more imaginative."
--Kevin Sanders/[Punctuation SIC!] WABC-TV

The Most [Capitalization SIC!] interesting film of its kind to date because it dissolves the distinction between sex films and art films. [The lead, er, actress]'s performance was remarkably persuasive! [Punctuation SIC!]
--Charles Michener/Newsweek

"The photography is good, the music even better...." [Italicization SIC!]
--Bernard Drew/Gannett Syndicate

We must stop here as it wearies us to have to go back and forth typing. We will say this goes on forty years ago and both movee and cri-TICS would today be laughed out of the business as they should have been nearly forty years ago. Certainly nobody has heard of Judith Crist in AGES (and rightly so) -- and she got ample TV face time and was a rival of the "great" Pauline Kael's. And who, many will ask with a grimace, was SHE? Of the others we will say nothing except that we are not surprised at this hack Michener's insight as some writer once lambasted his rag's now forgotten lead theater revuer Larry Krill or Jack Dull or whatever his name was for complaining about the lighting in nude scenes. Nor are we surprised that a GanNETtoid would be so interested in music. The next time an IDIOT rends his scalp over the demotion of movie revuers remember this example, and the hacks who need glasses for their MINDS let alone their EYES.

P. S. Tex Beneke playing music from The Alamo!

Posted 2:42 PM by Gene

Boehner: Republican agenda still TBD

TRANSLATION: Republican agenda still MIA

OR:

Republican agenda still AWOL

OR:

Republican agenda DOA

OR...

Posted 10:30 AM by Gene

One more time:



This is about more than fireworks and hot dogs.