THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Saturday, May 21, 2011
Toms blows 7-shot lead at Colonial, Wi leads
See what you're missing by not following golf?
(Via SI.com link)
See what you're missing by not following golf?
(Via SI.com link)
Tony is the musical equivalent of all those scribblers who call graffiti AHT. Using James Levine's poor health as an excuse he wants him out of the Met so someone can do more Nixon in Chinas; he gives the show away by endorsing an "AH-pe-RA" about Anna Nicole Smith he praises as "outrageous" (Paper of Re-CORD-speak meaning tuneless and sticking it to people with taste). Levine is simply too much of an old fuddy-duddy for Tony's advanced thinking. Look, everyone wants new operas, but as every last one is doomed to be Willie Stark or T&M's stuff for the archives or the latest transgressive nuisance all they'll do is waste money (tax money wherever possible) and bloom flowerless. That Tony couldn't care less for the masses shows itself when he gushes that 175,000!!!!!!!!!! viewed Levine's Die Walküre in movee houses -- which is still only about .056 percent of the total U. S. population; the other 99.944 percent may not be lured by JERRY SPRINGER!!!!!!!!!! Alas, that seems the point of such blather: to turn a whole art form into an hermetically-sealed plaything for scribbling eggheads and their mentally-constricted friends.
P. S. from Nathan Heller's evisceration of SNL:
The way this industry cog constantly rehearses generations-old mythologies about its fearless innovation, wild times, and spunky creativity is too comfortably of a piece with many of today's aesthetic affectations. [Emphasis added]
Shouldn't opera be about something more permanent than what happened three years ago?
And to put it politely, Tony is affected.
(Via the usual AHTSJournal)
P. S. from Nathan Heller's evisceration of SNL:
The way this industry cog constantly rehearses generations-old mythologies about its fearless innovation, wild times, and spunky creativity is too comfortably of a piece with many of today's aesthetic affectations. [Emphasis added]
Shouldn't opera be about something more permanent than what happened three years ago?
And to put it politely, Tony is affected.
(Via the usual AHTSJournal)
GEEK STORY OF THE WEEK:
Apple-Loving Tech Columnist Allegedly Hit Wife With iPhone
(Via HENRY HONEST!)
Apple-Loving Tech Columnist Allegedly Hit Wife With iPhone
(Via HENRY HONEST!)
It's been a while, but we haven't forgotten: time for an expanded post dedicated to ARCHDaily!
Revenge of the Three-Footed O!
Frank Gehry builds a high-end jail!
Sighhhhhhhh...another atheistic church.
A building made of black, white and gray Lego bricks -- with a special safety feature for unwary pilots!
If this police station were in a ghetto neighborhood....
Look, I could haul junk out of a garage, spray-paint it white and call it a "Kaohsiung Maritime Cultural and Popular Music Center" too!
The object of this game is to keep from falling into the hole.
"Living Roof"? Bad Orthodontia with Black Lips!
Stonehenge with a retainer.
This is fine for a modernist's daydream, but it's in Manhattan, and after fifteen years it may well resemble an "outdoor living room".
Revenge of the Three-Footed O!
Frank Gehry builds a high-end jail!
Sighhhhhhhh...another atheistic church.
A building made of black, white and gray Lego bricks -- with a special safety feature for unwary pilots!
If this police station were in a ghetto neighborhood....
Look, I could haul junk out of a garage, spray-paint it white and call it a "Kaohsiung Maritime Cultural and Popular Music Center" too!
The object of this game is to keep from falling into the hole.
"Living Roof"? Bad Orthodontia with Black Lips!
Stonehenge with a retainer.
This is fine for a modernist's daydream, but it's in Manhattan, and after fifteen years it may well resemble an "outdoor living room".
Since when has it been news that His Incompetence is none too keen for Israel? Oh sure he can give lip service to its right to exist, but his heart lies with the Palestinians -- because they are victims. You cannot be a present or former activist without rooting for the underdog; that the Palestinians are permanent underdogs makes them even better. But His Incompetence didn't want to be a foreign-policy president; it was the inevitable speed bump astride the path to glory. Thus he tries to flatten it by jackhammering it with his head. This is what we get when we elect rank amateurs president.
Friday, May 20, 2011
The other day we mentioned "the most overrated comedy series in history." Today if Grate.com doesn't come up with:
How has this formulaic, famously mediocre comedy show outlasted everything else on TV?
To which the typist spends another two pages answering -- mostly persuasive, we'll admit. Nonetheless we'll call this a rhetorical question and leave it at that -- except to say it's doubtful the culture can stand for another 36 years of you had to be there.
How has this formulaic, famously mediocre comedy show outlasted everything else on TV?
To which the typist spends another two pages answering -- mostly persuasive, we'll admit. Nonetheless we'll call this a rhetorical question and leave it at that -- except to say it's doubtful the culture can stand for another 36 years of you had to be there.
ESPNCORP administers the cinematic equivalent of a bout with amnesia, and sure enough if some of UB IGER's sixty fans defend Him by saying "It's escapism!" Yes, but isn't the escapism too good when the movee escapes your mind?
Jim Calhoun, the CEO of Connecticut's professional-collegiate men's basketball franchise, stocks his team with dummies -- and now he'll have to pay...a price:
A low [Academic Performance R]ating is costly to Calhoun personally. His contract calls for him to donate $100,000 to a UConn scholarship fund if the program doesn't meet the APR. He also will forfeit his postseason bonus of $87,500, earned during UConn's run to the national title.
This is like what happens to a CEO when his options go underwater: He takes a paper hit but his salary's sure to stay the same. This won't hurt much either.
(The bulk of the money he makes, up to $3 million in the final year of his contract in 2014, comes from speaking and media fees). [sic]
As I said....
A low [Academic Performance R]ating is costly to Calhoun personally. His contract calls for him to donate $100,000 to a UConn scholarship fund if the program doesn't meet the APR. He also will forfeit his postseason bonus of $87,500, earned during UConn's run to the national title.
This is like what happens to a CEO when his options go underwater: He takes a paper hit but his salary's sure to stay the same. This won't hurt much either.
(The bulk of the money he makes, up to $3 million in the final year of his contract in 2014, comes from speaking and media fees). [sic]
As I said....
Selig: Dodgers' ownership woes 'historic'
Sorta like -- oh, we can't mention their names, but you know: the guys from the Summer and Fall of Love of '98?
"We've moved in in other places," Selig said Friday, as he prepared to give a commencement speech to students at the Medical College of Wisconsin.
Given that location we'd ask, is he trying to move in to immortality?
Sorta like -- oh, we can't mention their names, but you know: the guys from the Summer and Fall of Love of '98?
"We've moved in in other places," Selig said Friday, as he prepared to give a commencement speech to students at the Medical College of Wisconsin.
Given that location we'd ask, is he trying to move in to immortality?
CONCAST engaged in iron-fist-in-the-titanium-glove tactics with a non-profit only to punch itself in the nose. We salute ReelGrrls for adding its own back of the hand to this self-administered salute. A donor engaging in such blatant double-dealing is not worthy of any organization.
Someone must tell these corporate buffoons; what was good for St. Jack of Valenti is no good anymore.
As for the "appointment" that caused this self-administered rhinoplasty, let's call it what it was: bribery after the fact. (Or let's call it what con-SER-va-tives would: free en-ter-prise -- and the triumph of the First Amendment! Pfffffffffft!)
Someone must tell these corporate buffoons; what was good for St. Jack of Valenti is no good anymore.
As for the "appointment" that caused this self-administered rhinoplasty, let's call it what it was: bribery after the fact. (Or let's call it what con-SER-va-tives would: free en-ter-prise -- and the triumph of the First Amendment! Pfffffffffft!)
Sell Apple to buy LinkedIn
Sell one overpriced stock to buy another even more overpriced stock. Excellent advice!
Sell one overpriced stock to buy another even more overpriced stock. Excellent advice!
LinkedIn Would Be A $34 Stock Without Mania Premium
Doesn't every Wall Street Casino concoction that sells for above what it's worth have a mania premium?
Doesn't every Wall Street Casino concoction that sells for above what it's worth have a mania premium?
Please, Jim, we thought one point of MICKEY STARBUCKS was to wash away the bad PR. Why should MICKEY S have to apologize for anything when in five years it will have obliterated all traces of what makes people mad -- except the excessive advertising and GAMES schmoozing! (Pffh-hh-hh!)
And yet another demonstration of the reverse psychology performed by PR specialists everywhere: MICKEY S serves oatmeal?
And yet another demonstration of the reverse psychology performed by PR specialists everywhere: MICKEY S serves oatmeal?
Alakazam, alakazoom, presto chanego, and...
"Basically the valuation looks a little bit rich. They worked very hard to get a favorable price and one could argue the only reason it was up yesterday was support from the sponsoring banks," analyst Nik Stanojevic at Brewin Dolphin said.
Aw c'mon, Glencore! Your bankers couldn't pull an overpriced rabbit out of the hat?
"Basically the valuation looks a little bit rich. They worked very hard to get a favorable price and one could argue the only reason it was up yesterday was support from the sponsoring banks," analyst Nik Stanojevic at Brewin Dolphin said.
Aw c'mon, Glencore! Your bankers couldn't pull an overpriced rabbit out of the hat?
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Luigi Zingales on Mr. Bunga-Bunga:
How can such a pro-business prime minister wreak havoc on the economy and on the idea of free markets? Because “pro-business” doesn’t necessarily mean “pro-market.” While the two agendas sometimes coincide—as in the case of protecting property rights—they’re often at odds. Market competition threatens established firms, which often use their political muscle to restrict new entries into their industry, strengthening their positions but putting customers at a disadvantage. A pro-market strategy, by contrast, aims to encourage the best business conditions for everyone. That’s in fact the opposite of what a real-estate tycoon wants: to keep competitors out and enhance the value of his own properties. By capturing (or more precisely, purchasing) the free-market flag in the same way one might acquire a business brand, Berlusconi likely has destroyed the appeal of the free-market ideal in Italy for a generation.
Okay, con-SER-va-tives! Republicans! Are you pro-market or pro-business? We can guess.
How can such a pro-business prime minister wreak havoc on the economy and on the idea of free markets? Because “pro-business” doesn’t necessarily mean “pro-market.” While the two agendas sometimes coincide—as in the case of protecting property rights—they’re often at odds. Market competition threatens established firms, which often use their political muscle to restrict new entries into their industry, strengthening their positions but putting customers at a disadvantage. A pro-market strategy, by contrast, aims to encourage the best business conditions for everyone. That’s in fact the opposite of what a real-estate tycoon wants: to keep competitors out and enhance the value of his own properties. By capturing (or more precisely, purchasing) the free-market flag in the same way one might acquire a business brand, Berlusconi likely has destroyed the appeal of the free-market ideal in Italy for a generation.
Okay, con-SER-va-tives! Republicans! Are you pro-market or pro-business? We can guess.
Further on the subject of things we must know, interesting how The Lord Goddess Oprah's court jester The Flying Keyboard was lobbying for Michigan's movee tax credits even as he was all set to benefit from them with his screenplay. This is a talk-radio loudmouth talking, which doesn't obscure the notion that news hacks never have conflicts of interest -- because they don't report on them.
We only hope this isn't one of those Benny-Allen feuds radio hacks use to goose the ratings, as both mouths work for the same station -- but then again, we wouldn't be surprised.
(Via the usual Romy)
We only hope this isn't one of those Benny-Allen feuds radio hacks use to goose the ratings, as both mouths work for the same station -- but then again, we wouldn't be surprised.
(Via the usual Romy)
25 things you don't know about 'Idol' finalists
You know, clowns, you could give us 25 things we don't know about a lot of more important, less self-serving topics, things it might serve us to know, things we don't know because news hacks are too lazy or stupid or rich. That we can learn these 25 things from the MESS and JANN says the news biz' rep has a lot further to fall.
Really, there must be a contest for the most lame-brained heds on the Web. This would have to be a...finalist.
You know, clowns, you could give us 25 things we don't know about a lot of more important, less self-serving topics, things it might serve us to know, things we don't know because news hacks are too lazy or stupid or rich. That we can learn these 25 things from the MESS and JANN says the news biz' rep has a lot further to fall.
Really, there must be a contest for the most lame-brained heds on the Web. This would have to be a...finalist.
When NEWS HACKS and their assorted friends suggested that Ah-NULT could traipse his merry way through a resumed fillum career they did so with the knowing smirk, the unspoken but vaguely noticeable assertion that only Christians and other such Neanderthals would begrudge him a shot at making big bucks through bad movees. (Jeff Bock and David Poland, whoever you are -- take a bow!) Well, Ah-NULT appears to have a little more sense than these hacks, which says nothing; in any event we hope for a long, drawn-out, costly divorce proceeding, which means it won't be.
And regardless of what in-the-know veteran lia -- publicists like SUE may suggest, siring two kids a few days apart by may not be a career tonic.
And one would hope too this might not be the end of the embarrassments, chortlechortle.
And regardless of what in-the-know veteran lia -- publicists like SUE may suggest, siring two kids a few days apart by may not be a career tonic.
And one would hope too this might not be the end of the embarrassments, chortlechortle.
Sounds as if LNKD is a proxy for FACEB000,000,000,000,000K, meaning it could go upupUPUPUP...until it comes down.
Dick Ebersol, a founder of the most overrated comedy series in history and the man who sneered at viewers, "YOU'LL WATCH THE OLYMPICS MY WAY OR YOU WON'T WATCH THEM AT ALL!!!!!", has thankfully (if "surprisingly") resigned, meaning CONCAST can hire someone who'll be just as arrogant and tone-deaf.
NBC Sports will still bid for the Olympics, but Ebersol's departure sends a signal that they're not willing to break the bank. ESPN can and will.
Meaning It can break Its turnips' banks!
NBC Sports will still bid for the Olympics, but Ebersol's departure sends a signal that they're not willing to break the bank. ESPN can and will.
Meaning It can break Its turnips' banks!
It's official -- we're in another high-tech bubble!
"At this rate, LNKD will be bigger than 136 companies in the S&P 500," says Bespoke on Twitter. Of those buying at "tree-top tall prices," David Menlow of IPOfinancial.com advises to "put those people on suicide watch.”
Suicide watch? Triple-your-money-in-two-days permanent-prosperity watch!
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!
“Some might say the company is overpriced,” Randall says. “I’d say it’s ‘premium valued,’ which is just a ten-dollar Wall Street phrase for the same thing.”
Which will be worth TWO HUNDRED in the next three hours!
P. S. at 10:46 a. m.:
"OK. This is almost hilarious. P/E Ratio for $LNKD right now: 1,221 - SERIOUSLY?! Yes you are reading that correctly," says Bloomberg's Cris Valerio of LinkedIn's (LNKD) debut. Stock did soar to over 100% but is now a mere +90%.
GEKKO KUDLOW! WE NEED YOU!!!!!
"At this rate, LNKD will be bigger than 136 companies in the S&P 500," says Bespoke on Twitter. Of those buying at "tree-top tall prices," David Menlow of IPOfinancial.com advises to "put those people on suicide watch.”
Suicide watch? Triple-your-money-in-two-days permanent-prosperity watch!
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!
“Some might say the company is overpriced,” Randall says. “I’d say it’s ‘premium valued,’ which is just a ten-dollar Wall Street phrase for the same thing.”
Which will be worth TWO HUNDRED in the next three hours!
P. S. at 10:46 a. m.:
"OK. This is almost hilarious. P/E Ratio for $LNKD right now: 1,221 - SERIOUSLY?! Yes you are reading that correctly," says Bloomberg's Cris Valerio of LinkedIn's (LNKD) debut. Stock did soar to over 100% but is now a mere +90%.
GEKKO KUDLOW! WE NEED YOU!!!!!
Of course CRITICAL ACCLAIM would not equal box office success in regional theatah. We're talking a niche art form with a niche following. How many people need to see theatah? It is the classic discretionary purchase. If the public discerns CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED theatah is no better than garden-variety theatah, why bother with it? Here is another reason cities should not bankrupt themselves using props such as theatah to replace manufacturing.
(Via the usual AHTSJournal)
(Via the usual AHTSJournal)
It didn’t hurt when it dawned on people that many of his plays, for all the profanity and brutality, were works of great power and beauty, and often very funny to boot.
TRANSLATION: We have OUR party hack.
TRANSLATION: We have OUR party hack.
Disclosure: I'm a member of the Visiting Committee for the Harvard Graduate School of Education.
Yes, you would have to plug kolledge.
Yes, you would have to plug kolledge.
This publicity stunt is more exasperating than usual for a few reasons, and that's saying something as the whole point of publicity stunts is to cause mental anguish. First off it's selling an ahthouse picture, one we've obliquely addressed before, and that in the nature of such genius itself sounds like a publicity stunt. Second and more important, the Europeans are mad. This is blazingly hypocritical. Given Nazism's popularity in the old Europe and how so much of the continent's in-crowd is demanding the Jews abandon Israel they really ought not to wear their outrage on their sleeves. We imagine the level of Jew-hatred is quite high in the film business, not that much of an irony as many of its Jews are self-loathing, though God knows with their output they aren't self-loathing enough. This ahtiste should have shut up before the fact; now the time has come for the pretentiously outraged to shut themselves up.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Ford Motor Co. wants the car to promote the health and wellness of its occupants.
The automaker is working with organizations that promote health among sufferers of chronic disease such as diabetes on a research project to use Ford's Sync connectivity abilities to help monitor health while on the road.
The idea is to synchronize an occupant's medical devices with the voice-activated MyFord Touch system.
The connection can be via Bluetooth, the computing cloud or from smartphone apps and would be used to seamlessly monitor a person's condition when they are on the road.
People spend a lot of time in their cars and the initiatives are seen as a means of continuous monitoring and as an opportunity to use drive time to promote health and manage diseases and conditions such as diabetes, asthma and allergies.
"We want to create the car that cares," said Gary Strumolo, Ford manager of vehicle design and infotronics.
TRANSLATION: Big Brother's good side.
The automaker is working with organizations that promote health among sufferers of chronic disease such as diabetes on a research project to use Ford's Sync connectivity abilities to help monitor health while on the road.
The idea is to synchronize an occupant's medical devices with the voice-activated MyFord Touch system.
The connection can be via Bluetooth, the computing cloud or from smartphone apps and would be used to seamlessly monitor a person's condition when they are on the road.
People spend a lot of time in their cars and the initiatives are seen as a means of continuous monitoring and as an opportunity to use drive time to promote health and manage diseases and conditions such as diabetes, asthma and allergies.
"We want to create the car that cares," said Gary Strumolo, Ford manager of vehicle design and infotronics.
TRANSLATION: Big Brother's good side.
Speaking of worship, the sons of...Kinsley who just gave us a man who broke from the Church of Lucas must now pile excruciating sentence upon excruciating sentence from The Hitler Expert worshiping WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE DYLAN. Now if only we could think of the Web the way we think of television....
Baltimore takes credit for the abdicating Lord Goddess Oprah!
We will not quote a certain line about underestimating intelligence but MENCK had something to do with Baltimore too.
We will not quote a certain line about underestimating intelligence but MENCK had something to do with Baltimore too.
Good news: only two albums have sold over a million copies thus far this year.
I want the apologists to say it's PIRATING.
I want the apologists to say it's PIRATING.
Syrian president: Security forces made mistakes
Yeah Bashar -- they weren't tough enough!
P. S. at 2:36 p. m.:
"The recent events in Syria we believe prove that the country cannot go back to the status quo ante," said White House press secretary Jay Carney. "Syria's future will only be secured by a government that reflects the popular will of its people."
What sort of scathing words would the TWXSTERS' newsrag use on Tiny Jay if he hadn't written for it?
Yeah Bashar -- they weren't tough enough!
P. S. at 2:36 p. m.:
"The recent events in Syria we believe prove that the country cannot go back to the status quo ante," said White House press secretary Jay Carney. "Syria's future will only be secured by a government that reflects the popular will of its people."
What sort of scathing words would the TWXSTERS' newsrag use on Tiny Jay if he hadn't written for it?
THR has run an astonishing press release about upcoming "new" programming on PEOPLE WARNER's so-called "Turner" cable channels, and a goodly number come from Warner Horizon Television or CBS Television Studios (PEOPLE WARNER and SUMNER own the sputtering joint-venture CW), and an astonishing number of the projects are from people the biz has heard a million times before, like "Mitch Albom, Thom Beers, Brian Grazer, Ron Howard, Brad Paisley, Kimberly Williams-Paisley, Richard North Patterson, Ridley Scott, Tony Scott, Joel Silver, Arthur Smith, Scott Turow, Bertram van Munster and John Wells." In short, this list combines the worst aspects of incest with the worst aspects of talking to yourself.
But one thing we're sure of: the advertisers are DROOLING! McDoubles, caviar, they're all the same to them, just so they can spend senselessly.
But one thing we're sure of: the advertisers are DROOLING! McDoubles, caviar, they're all the same to them, just so they can spend senselessly.
The new head of the IMF will be walking into an incredibly difficult situation, with EU institutions cracking under the strain of the crisis, and member governments getting increasingly testy with each other. The problems of the EU are historically unique, requiring finesse and considerable political capital, and the incoming executive won't have practically any time to get up to speed, much less build up the relationships and credibility that increasingly look as if they'll be necessary to see this through.
Of course, I don't think there's much likelihood of a resolution short of exiting the euro (a defacto default). But if there's any hope for a less drastic solution, it just got a lot dimmer. And of course even the drastic solution would be made considerably less catastrophic with timely and competent assistance from the Fund.
DSK could have thought of these things before he had his sex fit.
Of course, I don't think there's much likelihood of a resolution short of exiting the euro (a defacto default). But if there's any hope for a less drastic solution, it just got a lot dimmer. And of course even the drastic solution would be made considerably less catastrophic with timely and competent assistance from the Fund.
DSK could have thought of these things before he had his sex fit.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
A eulogy for Ah-NULT:
In the sad coda to his political career, Schwarzenegger validated all those who had criticized him along the way as a vulgarian and a political naif— a Hollywood production with little below the surface.
In Spencer’s assessment, he accomplished little, and made little mark on the state’s politics.
“He got elected because he was a star. The problem was, he didn’t know how to govern,” Spencer said. “I don’t know if there is any legacy.”
In the sad coda to his political career, Schwarzenegger validated all those who had criticized him along the way as a vulgarian and a political naif— a Hollywood production with little below the surface.
In Spencer’s assessment, he accomplished little, and made little mark on the state’s politics.
“He got elected because he was a star. The problem was, he didn’t know how to govern,” Spencer said. “I don’t know if there is any legacy.”
Elsewhere from the genius of Hollywood, ESPNCORP and THR, Marilyn Monroe is playing Billie Burke.
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!
Speaking of ESPNCORP TELEVISION NETWORK, Tim looks into his cloudy crystal ball and sees:
Four smart and talented people who run networks with a lot of mediocre crap on them.
And dozens of mediocre ADVERTISING VICE-PRESIDENTS who want to finance that mediocre crap!
[T]he networks [are] try[ing] to buy into that Mad Men allure, only this time with viewers.
OooooOOOOOoooooh, I think he means hundreds of thousands of news hacks and cultists aren't viewers! That's an insult!
Noticeably absent from this schedule is anything likely to make you wince (intentionally) or endure bleakness for the sake of dramatic quality.
Repeat after me: Dark is GOOD! Dark is GOOD!
Four smart and talented people who run networks with a lot of mediocre crap on them.
And dozens of mediocre ADVERTISING VICE-PRESIDENTS who want to finance that mediocre crap!
[T]he networks [are] try[ing] to buy into that Mad Men allure, only this time with viewers.
OooooOOOOOoooooh, I think he means hundreds of thousands of news hacks and cultists aren't viewers! That's an insult!
Noticeably absent from this schedule is anything likely to make you wince (intentionally) or endure bleakness for the sake of dramatic quality.
Repeat after me: Dark is GOOD! Dark is GOOD!
GOOD MORNING, AMERICA!
Dominique Strauss-Kahn, former head of the International Monetary Fund....
Strauss-Kahn, who until this weekend was the chief of the IMF....
MMMMM-IIIII-CCCCCC...KKKKK-EEEEE-YYYYY...
This story has been updated to reflect the fact that the person who spoke to ABC News is a close friend of the alleged victim, not the alleged victim's brother, as originally reported.
But not THAT updated!
DAH-DA-DUT! DAH-DA-DUT! M-O-U-S-E!
Dominique Strauss-Kahn, former head of the International Monetary Fund....
Strauss-Kahn, who until this weekend was the chief of the IMF....
MMMMM-IIIII-CCCCCC...KKKKK-EEEEE-YYYYY...
This story has been updated to reflect the fact that the person who spoke to ABC News is a close friend of the alleged victim, not the alleged victim's brother, as originally reported.
But not THAT updated!
DAH-DA-DUT! DAH-DA-DUT! M-O-U-S-E!
In France, 43 percent of the general public said viewing pornography was morally acceptable, but only 16 percent of Muslims agreed. In Germany, 58 percent of the general public, but only 18 percent of Muslims, said it was acceptable. And while 35 percent of Brits said it was acceptable, only 1 percent of British Muslims shared that view.
1. The Muslims are right on this one. 2. Unfortunately a few of their number have their own kicks. 3. Love to know how many of the French think DSK is morally acceptable.
1. The Muslims are right on this one. 2. Unfortunately a few of their number have their own kicks. 3. Love to know how many of the French think DSK is morally acceptable.
A "standard-issue indie-quirk picture" (!) gets the review it deserves:
The Beaver might have been interesting if it was boldly, defiantly, autobiographical – with Gibson holding a toy Adolf Hitler puppet. Or if it was about a stressed beaver with a Gibson puppet.
The Beaver might have been interesting if it was boldly, defiantly, autobiographical – with Gibson holding a toy Adolf Hitler puppet. Or if it was about a stressed beaver with a Gibson puppet.
TRANSLATION: Sexy boxes with intricate wiring, social-networking sites and their cousin show-biz WON'T BRING BACK THE ECONOMY.
Will someone wean our government superiors off RENDELLISM once and for all?
Will someone wean our government superiors off RENDELLISM once and for all?
Steven Suskin, the very reliable theater expert and reviewer of cast recordings, writes of two albums that they "lie outside my field of interest, in that the songs are far more contemporary than what I like to sit around listening to."
If it's any consolation, Steven, I really do think people stopped writing decent tunes, oh, forty years ago.
If it's any consolation, Steven, I really do think people stopped writing decent tunes, oh, forty years ago.
McSTARBUCKS, America's biggest free-enterprise government bureaucracy, is hiring more people here but getting rid of them overseas. Actually cutting out the clerks isn't a bad idea as that cuts out the worst part of the MICKEY S customer experience. So why more workers here? Or was that a hint-hint from His Incompetence?
(Via Seeking Alpha)
(Via Seeking Alpha)
No one need convince me television is a bad, but we might ask if this is a moot point since the problem may not be a technology, but technology itself. And what is computering but television with words?
You have to wonder -- how many NEWS HACKS knew of Ah-NULT's love child -- but kept quiet because he'd make such a GREAT GOVERNOR?
Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft!!!!!
Monday, May 16, 2011
No more time could be allotted Donald Trump for him to listen for the still small voice that would indicate God was calling upon him to serve his country at a time of desperate need. The salvation of the United States through the agency of a man so self-sacrificing that he is willing to affix his name to some of the world’s most hideous buildings could not contend against another world-historical event of perhaps even greater importance than the November 2012 election: the announcement of NBC’s fall schedule.
JPOD writes something GOOD!
JPOD writes something GOOD!
Hey THUMBS®! What are you whining about? I thought movies were the meaning of "excelsior"! Wasn't The Dark Knight one of the greatest artworks of all time? Didn't we just have a revelation from St. Judd of Apatow? Don't you "critical" clods rave many of the same masterworks the "violent or moronic fanboys" rave? You clowns run off at the mouth about the GENIUS of films and you have the NERVE to say they're getting worse? Even if they are, THUMBS®, doesn't THE GREATEST NETWORK IN HISTORY provide an outlet for nudity, profanity and -- I mean, ART? But as your friends in the biz tell you, there's always an out, THUMBS® -- rave IMMORTAL TV TOO! Or better still, rave more of those art pictures no one sees. Best yet, just keep raving movies! Although even your defenders might think it piling Pelion on Ossa, or 3D on basest junk. Pile on! You may say "it doesn’t really take a movie person to approve" those violent or moronic films, but it does take a movie "critic" to constantly RAVE them! I'd guess you've raved as many movies these last five years of your career as you did your first five -- and those first five in the middle of what the twerp Peter Biskind and other industry conformists call THE GREATEST AGE OF MOVIES EVER!!!!! (And for Russ Meyer.) Would it ever occur to you, THUMBS®, that maybe you "critics" share as much of the blame as the bean counters or the violent or moronic fanboys -- or Jack Valenti -- for the fact the movies STINK? No -- or you wouldn't have made all those zillions kissing Michael Eisner's behind. (And Gene too!) Those bean counters weren't the only ones who helped ruin a great industry just so they could get rich.
THUMBS®, your typing is one part pish, one part tosh and 100 percent BULLHOCKEY.
''Movies are becoming like dinosaurs -- their bodies are getting bigger and bigger and their brains are getting smaller and smaller.''
That's all right -- someday we can use the now brainless dinosaurs for OIL!
(Revised 5/21/2011)
THUMBS®, your typing is one part pish, one part tosh and 100 percent BULLHOCKEY.
''Movies are becoming like dinosaurs -- their bodies are getting bigger and bigger and their brains are getting smaller and smaller.''
That's all right -- someday we can use the now brainless dinosaurs for OIL!
(Revised 5/21/2011)
When HENRY HONEST! promos "THE MOST CLOSELY GUARDED SECRET IN PUBLISHING!!!!!" and says it's filled with "tales of sexual indiscretion, drugs, jealously between co-workers, fights between executives and talent", and we see TOMTASTIC!'s co-authored it, we can say without fear of contradiction that in its essentials it must be BORING.
Despite the lustful coos from con-SER-va-tives THE DONALD will not run for president. Why? It would mean making His finances public. Also it would mean exposing all the games He's played using accountants -- and all His BANKRUPTCIES. People might also ask about His brief friendship with MUAMMAR. Fuggedaboutit, DONALD.
A prophecy fulfilled!
A prophecy fulfilled!
Sunday, May 15, 2011
If our high-school kids can't write, chances are they can't think. If their teachers can't teach, chances are they can't think either. And just by persevering those students and teachers who can write and think earn punishment as though they committed a capital crime. America's had a long run on the fumes of people not thinking. When does that joy ride finally end?
(Via NEWSER!)
(Via NEWSER!)
If it's Sunday it must be Big Double-A-Scribble Time:
1. Don't single-camera set-ups and audiences of 3 million say something? To me they say the sitcom's glory days are long in the past, whatever the ad-blurbists say. To the American Society of Willfully Ignorant Advertisers they mean more excuses for their ad fiefdoms to waste their customers' and shareholders' money, however cheaply the junk may be produced.
And cheap it increasingly is:
Many multicamera sitcoms have become too expensive for most broadcast networks to sustain ("Friends," "Seinfeld" and "Frasier" each cost an average $3 million to $5 million an episode in their heyday), with single-camera offering a much more affordable $800,000 to $1.1 million per episode price tag.
Heck why not use iPhones?
2. The MARKETPLACE has made up its mind, loud and clear: there is no place for TINAWEEK. As we've said incessantly there is really no place for any weekly newsrag save The Economist, and that owing to its special circumstances and the blessing of the Bugmeister. The CW already has enough outlets. Why an obsolescent one more?
1. Don't single-camera set-ups and audiences of 3 million say something? To me they say the sitcom's glory days are long in the past, whatever the ad-blurbists say. To the American Society of Willfully Ignorant Advertisers they mean more excuses for their ad fiefdoms to waste their customers' and shareholders' money, however cheaply the junk may be produced.
And cheap it increasingly is:
Many multicamera sitcoms have become too expensive for most broadcast networks to sustain ("Friends," "Seinfeld" and "Frasier" each cost an average $3 million to $5 million an episode in their heyday), with single-camera offering a much more affordable $800,000 to $1.1 million per episode price tag.
Heck why not use iPhones?
2. The MARKETPLACE has made up its mind, loud and clear: there is no place for TINAWEEK. As we've said incessantly there is really no place for any weekly newsrag save The Economist, and that owing to its special circumstances and the blessing of the Bugmeister. The CW already has enough outlets. Why an obsolescent one more?
As the Gang of 27 will gladly tell you, MOVIES ARE BETTER THAN EVER -- and CANNES can prove it!
The highest concentration of glamour can be found in the lobby of the Palais des Festivals, where there's a photographic display of bathing beauties from Hollywood's golden age – Marilyn Monroe, Esther Williams, a very cheesecakey ingénue Joan Crawford and, just for balance, Cary Grant stripped down to his tennis shorts. The festival is also wearing Hollywood chic on its sleeve this year, or rather on its poster, an unusually stylish black-and-white number featuring a young Faye Dunaway, as pictured by the fashion photographer turned film-maker Jerry Schatzberg.
(Via the usual unglamorous AHTSJournal)
The highest concentration of glamour can be found in the lobby of the Palais des Festivals, where there's a photographic display of bathing beauties from Hollywood's golden age – Marilyn Monroe, Esther Williams, a very cheesecakey ingénue Joan Crawford and, just for balance, Cary Grant stripped down to his tennis shorts. The festival is also wearing Hollywood chic on its sleeve this year, or rather on its poster, an unusually stylish black-and-white number featuring a young Faye Dunaway, as pictured by the fashion photographer turned film-maker Jerry Schatzberg.
(Via the usual unglamorous AHTSJournal)
Online media is replacing newspapers and TV. Is that a bad thing?
No, because online media's dreck is but the logical extension of what newspapers and TV were becoming anyway.
No, because online media's dreck is but the logical extension of what newspapers and TV were becoming anyway.
Keeping in mind this is Commentary, Israel has joined the ranks of abortion, conservatives, race relations and culture as a topic we expect will never be reported fairly.
P. S. at 6:12 p. m.
Here, by the way, is what happens to people who demonstrate in Syria without government permission:
What happened to Osama, no doubt. At least he was a bad guy. Thanks anyway, Jeffrey.
P. S. at 6:12 p. m.
Here, by the way, is what happens to people who demonstrate in Syria without government permission:
What happened to Osama, no doubt. At least he was a bad guy. Thanks anyway, Jeffrey.
I suppose we are expected to get excited over Monsieur Strauss-Kahn, but as bunga-bunga proves European leaders are supposed to be depraved, and what is more, they expect to be rewarded for it, and too often they are.
Those who think pop culture is immortal might consider Eurovision. Then again, maybe they shouldn't. Eurovision is immortal.
TRANSLATION: Yes Virginia, it is possible to overpay for an Andy Warhol.
We are starting to think twice of making fun of this blog; it offers much food for thought.
We are starting to think twice of making fun of this blog; it offers much food for thought.