THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Saturday, February 09, 2008
Toledo's mayor, for one reason or another, didn't want Marines practicing in his downtown, presumably because it would create the appearance of a war zone (something many ghettos already resemble), so what happens? Every SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGER's calling him a SOLDIER-HATING COMMIE PEACENIK TRAITOR!!!!!
Yes, I think I liked the news before it was chewed up and spit out by that great rumor- and anger-spewing device called the WEB.
(Via the usual CORNER, which is PATRIOTICALLY WHITE-HOT ANGRY!!!!!!!!! Uh, MS. TRAVERS, what did you say about TARZANA a few hours ago?)
Yes, I think I liked the news before it was chewed up and spit out by that great rumor- and anger-spewing device called the WEB.
(Via the usual CORNER, which is PATRIOTICALLY WHITE-HOT ANGRY!!!!!!!!! Uh, MS. TRAVERS, what did you say about TARZANA a few hours ago?)
Now the British government gets to beat its head against videogames, with the added suggestion parents keep computers out of their kids' bedrooms. Pffffffffffffffffffft!
This problem is insoluble for the same reason our epidemic of bullets is insoluble.
This problem is insoluble for the same reason our epidemic of bullets is insoluble.
Zeitgeist.com sneers at the mayor of Amsterdam for wanting to shut down the city's red light district, which reminds us why a reader had the guts to tell JonBoy His magazine is irrelevant.
A formerly left-handed piano player is ANGRY because he must accept an honor (or rather a Kennedy Center HHonor) from an EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL administration, but not so angry as to refuse it, standing alongside Diana, Queen of Megalomania, and THE GREATEST FILM DIRECTOR EVER.
It's official: time to stop handing out sops to mere classical musicians and call this the KENNEDY CENTER ENTERTAINMENT HHONORS.
(Via, alas, The Corner)
It's official: time to stop handing out sops to mere classical musicians and call this the KENNEDY CENTER ENTERTAINMENT HHONORS.
(Via, alas, The Corner)
Friday, February 08, 2008
That garden stone, handmade carpet or embroidered T-shirt you just bought was probably made by child labor.
PILLHEAD! Here's another traitor to conservatism: LITTLE MALCOLM!
An Avedon For the Poor
It's official: Malc's been BRAINWASHED!
PILLHEAD! Here's another traitor to conservatism: LITTLE MALCOLM!
An Avedon For the Poor
It's official: Malc's been BRAINWASHED!
Elsewhere in the world of the legal eagles, some tenants of a Noo Yawk apartment house are suing a fellow tenant for -- SMOKING. While it sounds like PC squared we've known a neighbor who SMOKED, and it's NOT pleasant. Call it a toss-up.
And an appeals court has revived a lawsuit by a blind woman accusing some fast food joints of mistreating her -- HILARIOUS behaviors like leading her to the men's room. We see certain con-SER-va-tives accusing her of no sense of humor -- but then we seen certain con-SER-va-tives as never having been to a fast-food joint.
And an appeals court has revived a lawsuit by a blind woman accusing some fast food joints of mistreating her -- HILARIOUS behaviors like leading her to the men's room. We see certain con-SER-va-tives accusing her of no sense of humor -- but then we seen certain con-SER-va-tives as never having been to a fast-food joint.
CHARLES JOHNSON IS EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or so we imagine he could be: it seems the rogue trader at Société Générale may have had help from a second trader, whose name is sufficiently A--B-sounding to get CHARLES JOHNSONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! excited. We will hold judgment until we hear more particulars, which may be some time coming -- but that won't stop CHARLES JOHNSONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
People who know Mr Bakir described him as courteous and friendly. “He was just a normal guy and very pleasant,” one said.
YOU MUST GET ON THE CASE, SAM LITTLE!!!! THIS GUY IS OBVIOUSLY A TERRORIST!!!!!!!!!!!
How many times will the dimwit SAM post when he does find out?
People who know Mr Bakir described him as courteous and friendly. “He was just a normal guy and very pleasant,” one said.
YOU MUST GET ON THE CASE, SAM LITTLE!!!! THIS GUY IS OBVIOUSLY A TERRORIST!!!!!!!!!!!
How many times will the dimwit SAM post when he does find out?
What does MICKEYMOUSE NIXON know and why should he know it?
Caveat: it's SUPERNIKKI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, who predicted the strike would end three months ago.
(Via Slashdot. Are they looking for work?)
Caveat: it's SUPERNIKKI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, who predicted the strike would end three months ago.
(Via Slashdot. Are they looking for work?)
An Iranian rocket launch and reports that Iran is testing an advanced centrifuge are "deeply disturbing" and strengthen the case for a third U.N. sanctions resolution against Tehran, a top U.S. official said on Friday.
Hey Luigi! Get out 500 boxes of noodles!
Hey Luigi! Get out 500 boxes of noodles!
American Newsrags, RIP:
After about an hour, there seemed to be no more questions for him, so Newsweek editor Jon Meacham turned to his audience—about 100 graduate students at Columbia journalism school—and said he had a question for them: Did anyone in the room read Newsweek or Time? There was a small, awkward rumbling before finally, a man shouted, "No!"
After about an hour, there seemed to be no more questions for him, so Newsweek editor Jon Meacham turned to his audience—about 100 graduate students at Columbia journalism school—and said he had a question for them: Did anyone in the room read Newsweek or Time? There was a small, awkward rumbling before finally, a man shouted, "No!"
The American Society of Willfully Ignorant Advertisers works overtime in its labs:
As more consumers flock to the Internet to watch their shows, however, the networks and advertisers are already getting back into the driver's seat. The networks' streaming services, including joint-effort video distribution sites like Hulu, offer all the control they need. Advertisements have just the same chance of reaching eyeballs as they did in a pre-DVR era because the video is not allowed to be fast-forwarded. Further, the video's placement in a browser means there's plenty of extra space to display always-on ads right alongside a show.
Which means viewers will simply find other means to avoid ads, or the services that subject them thereto.
As more consumers flock to the Internet to watch their shows, however, the networks and advertisers are already getting back into the driver's seat. The networks' streaming services, including joint-effort video distribution sites like Hulu, offer all the control they need. Advertisements have just the same chance of reaching eyeballs as they did in a pre-DVR era because the video is not allowed to be fast-forwarded. Further, the video's placement in a browser means there's plenty of extra space to display always-on ads right alongside a show.
Which means viewers will simply find other means to avoid ads, or the services that subject them thereto.
Scotland Yard has determined Mrs. Bhutto was killed by "a severe head injury", but but but but but....
Not a Sherlock Holmes moment, to be sure.
Not a Sherlock Holmes moment, to be sure.
Another epidemic of bullets, this time in Missouri.
We shouldn't pay attention to such stories, as the contagion has no known cure, and people would rather not try to dig deep in their hearts for it, but we don't seem to have much choice.
We shouldn't pay attention to such stories, as the contagion has no known cure, and people would rather not try to dig deep in their hearts for it, but we don't seem to have much choice.
And we want to scream too at all those con-SER-va-tive pundits who obsessively keep looking for reasons not to support Boobs McKeating. The latest seems to be that he "packed the house" at CPAC. Good God, outside of you political weenies, who cares?
The "one-year anniversary" (good grief!) -- and we STILL run pictures of her Nine Fingers gig, because it makes us look good.
There are times when we must rise up an in give the collective scream: "SHUT UP!!!!!"
There are times when we must rise up an in give the collective scream: "SHUT UP!!!!!"
Thursday, February 07, 2008
The news biz has cooked up a white elephant, under glass -- but then Perfesser Shafer has to say:
I want the Freedom Forum to sell off their monument valley installation and use the proceeds to actually support journalism. Like endowing a newspaper, for instance.
-- which, given the excellent prospects for the biz, would be another kind of white elephant, and not under glass.
I want the Freedom Forum to sell off their monument valley installation and use the proceeds to actually support journalism. Like endowing a newspaper, for instance.
-- which, given the excellent prospects for the biz, would be another kind of white elephant, and not under glass.
We're agreed Boobs won't choose Mitt as his veep because he's weir -- Mormon.
OKAY, PILLHEAD, WHO'S THE WORST POSSIBLE NOMINEE FOR VICE-PRESIDENT? WANNA BET BOOBS CHOOSES HIM?
OKAY, PILLHEAD, WHO'S THE WORST POSSIBLE NOMINEE FOR VICE-PRESIDENT? WANNA BET BOOBS CHOOSES HIM?
Credit cardholders' 'bill of rights' act proposed in House
Boobs McKeating, this -- PILLHEAD! THE COUNTRY'S MOVING TO SOCIALISM!!!!!
Boobs McKeating, this -- PILLHEAD! THE COUNTRY'S MOVING TO SOCIALISM!!!!!
"People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw bricks, should they?"
And failed "opera" writers should not be conducting symphony orchestras in Pyongyang, and making roughly the same sound.
And failed "opera" writers should not be conducting symphony orchestras in Pyongyang, and making roughly the same sound.
Secret trades in stocks...secret parameters for determining credit scores...I'd say the money men are still busy "brewing" that "toxic Kool-Aid", as St. Warren must put it.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Republican leaders objected to add-ons such as a $14.5 billion unemployment extension for those whose benefits have run out, $1 billion in heating aid for the poor and tax breaks for renewable energy producers and coal companies.
Picture the Gucci shoe on the other foot and you see why we could have split government next year -- the public saying "A plague o' both your houses" without administering a plague.
Picture the Gucci shoe on the other foot and you see why we could have split government next year -- the public saying "A plague o' both your houses" without administering a plague.
This guy's always banging the table "that higher education has been oversold", but maybe finally "the word is getting around".
G000,000,000,000,000,000GLE was down...BUGMEISTERDOM was down...STEVEDOM was down...Red China's friend Cisco was down...Diller Heaven was down....
Yep, these guys definitely can't walk on water anymore.
Yep, these guys definitely can't walk on water anymore.
Audiences shun primary coverage
TRANSLATION: People may want to vote but they may not want to know how they voted.
TRANSLATION: People may want to vote but they may not want to know how they voted.
Editorial: Sorry, Rush Limbaugh, Our Guy Won, BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! (Last fourteen words added)
Yes, we sorta understand why knee-jerk con-SER-va-tives find Boobs McKeating off-putting.
Yes, we sorta understand why knee-jerk con-SER-va-tives find Boobs McKeating off-putting.
From IWantMedia:
Cartoonists to Protest Lack of Color in Comics
Washington Post
This Sunday, cartoonists of color will be drawing essentially the same comic strip, protesting for greater presence in newspapers. Cartoonist Cory Thomas says his strip "Watch Your Head" is turned down frequently by newspapers because "they already have a black comic strip."
Don't most cartoonists, of color or no?
Cartoonists to Protest Lack of Color in Comics
Washington Post
This Sunday, cartoonists of color will be drawing essentially the same comic strip, protesting for greater presence in newspapers. Cartoonist Cory Thomas says his strip "Watch Your Head" is turned down frequently by newspapers because "they already have a black comic strip."
Don't most cartoonists, of color or no?
As the CW pretty well has it that the Democratic nomination will be a fight to the finish, but given that Hillary will maintain a lead with her fierce organization, is it too soon to think a Hillary-JFK ticket? Imagine the hacks selling that one! Nirvana! Three co-presidents!
Big Pharma's Patent Headache
In 2008 more than 10 top-selling drugs will lose patent protection. The industry hopes to recoup the losses with branded generics
Good luck! Pfffffffffffffffffffffft!
In 2008 more than 10 top-selling drugs will lose patent protection. The industry hopes to recoup the losses with branded generics
Good luck! Pfffffffffffffffffffffft!
I guess this means when people listen to PILLHEAD they must have colds. How else to explain all the stopped-up ears?
And in dizzying SPINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN:
Sen. John McCain won a series of big-state victories and took a commanding lead in delegates in yesterday's Super Tuesday contests, but his weakness among conservatives was exposed by a string of victories for Mike Huckabee in the South and Mitt Romney out West.
Hey, if you weren't con-SER-va-tive you could work for the Paper of Re-CORD!
And in dizzying SPINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN:
Sen. John McCain won a series of big-state victories and took a commanding lead in delegates in yesterday's Super Tuesday contests, but his weakness among conservatives was exposed by a string of victories for Mike Huckabee in the South and Mitt Romney out West.
Hey, if you weren't con-SER-va-tive you could work for the Paper of Re-CORD!
Elsewhere from the annoying AHTS JOURNAL, the foot stompin' Rosie's Nephew proves he's read Peter Biskind too. Take away him and their scripts and what would Hollywood READ?
Now BRITISH audiences are astonished to find that HERR DOKTOR SONDHEIM'S WUHK is a...MUUUUUUUUUUUUUSI-CAL, and they're walking out in DROVES, which leaves the Guardian to ponder the art of that most deceptive of advertising forms, the TRAILER:
Trailers are a language we assumed we all understood. We knew exactly how much to downgrade our expectations according to the number of explosions, the intensity of the pounding drums, and the presence of phrases such as "Academy Award Nominee" and "Adam Sandler". We have even become used to the fact that trailers promoting foreign-language films strenuously avoid all reference to the fact that they are not in English.
But the goalposts are shifting. Sweeney Todd's sleight of hand pales next to the trailer for National Treasure: Book of Secrets, which was recently exposed in the New York Times for featuring camera shots, scenes and lines of dialogue that weren't in the actual movie at all. "Apparently, the studios and all their lawyers feel it's not a legal problem," said National Treasure's director, John Turteltaub. "They cut together the trailers long before we have had time to cut the movie together." Turteltaub hastened to point out he was dead against the practice. "Great movies can get lost because of this," he said, although he declined to name any.
Perhaps it's better this way. If movies really were like their trailers, they'd be so exciting, audiences would routinely die of laughter, despair and fear. Instead, we should acknowledge the fact that trailers have become an art form in themselves. They aren't advertising, they're experimental short-film collages, assembled from existing movies by avant-garde marketing teams. Perhaps we could make an Oscar category for them.
HELL YES!
Trailers are a language we assumed we all understood. We knew exactly how much to downgrade our expectations according to the number of explosions, the intensity of the pounding drums, and the presence of phrases such as "Academy Award Nominee" and "Adam Sandler". We have even become used to the fact that trailers promoting foreign-language films strenuously avoid all reference to the fact that they are not in English.
But the goalposts are shifting. Sweeney Todd's sleight of hand pales next to the trailer for National Treasure: Book of Secrets, which was recently exposed in the New York Times for featuring camera shots, scenes and lines of dialogue that weren't in the actual movie at all. "Apparently, the studios and all their lawyers feel it's not a legal problem," said National Treasure's director, John Turteltaub. "They cut together the trailers long before we have had time to cut the movie together." Turteltaub hastened to point out he was dead against the practice. "Great movies can get lost because of this," he said, although he declined to name any.
Perhaps it's better this way. If movies really were like their trailers, they'd be so exciting, audiences would routinely die of laughter, despair and fear. Instead, we should acknowledge the fact that trailers have become an art form in themselves. They aren't advertising, they're experimental short-film collages, assembled from existing movies by avant-garde marketing teams. Perhaps we could make an Oscar category for them.
HELL YES!
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Dmitry Medvedev is preparing for a near-certain future as Russian president by laying out his vision for the nation. It bears little resemblance to the country his patron, Vladimir Putin, governed for eight years.
Medvedev, 42, the current leader's chosen successor, promises support of non-governmental organizations, while Putin imposed strict controls. In campaign speeches before the March 2 election, he eschews Putin's anti-Western rhetoric. And he pledges to fight corruption he says exists on ``an enormous scale,'' while Putin's inaction led Transparency International to rank Russia the 143rd most corrupt country of 179 last year.
Does this mean anything or have Russian pols learned to eruct as mightily and emptily as American ones?
Medvedev, 42, the current leader's chosen successor, promises support of non-governmental organizations, while Putin imposed strict controls. In campaign speeches before the March 2 election, he eschews Putin's anti-Western rhetoric. And he pledges to fight corruption he says exists on ``an enormous scale,'' while Putin's inaction led Transparency International to rank Russia the 143rd most corrupt country of 179 last year.
Does this mean anything or have Russian pols learned to eruct as mightily and emptily as American ones?
Monday, February 04, 2008
The United States and other major countries need China’s help on many of the most challenging issues of the day. But they must keep reminding Beijing, publicly and privately, that it will be judged as much on how it treats its people as on the quality of the Olympics’ made-for-TV spectacle. The whole world will be watching.
And who, pray tell, is more powerful? The world -- or China and GE BANCORP?
And who, pray tell, is more powerful? The world -- or China and GE BANCORP?
Figures: the "producer" of a weird druggie rock celebrity with the weird tattoos is funding JFK Lincoln.
JFK, Hillary 'n' Hollywood, Boobs McKeating and Ah-NULT, Holy Huck 'n' Chuck -- doesn't anyone here have any sense?
JFK, Hillary 'n' Hollywood, Boobs McKeating and Ah-NULT, Holy Huck 'n' Chuck -- doesn't anyone here have any sense?
And in more irritating news about THE CURE FOR CANCER, it took all day to get these blithering hacks to admit this MASTERWORK wasn't THE HIGHEST RATED CURE OF ALL TIME -- and then Mike of its PR MEGAPHONE writes the equivalent of a DISCLAIMER:
The game also drew 97.5 million viewers — the most-ever for a Super Bowl — topping the previous record set by Dallas-Pittsburgh on NBC in 1996. Viewership gains for events can partially just reflect the continual growth in the U.S. population. [Emphasis added]
TRANSLATION: Nielsen and its flacks can only massage the numbers so much before reader anger kicks in.
NOW LET'S FORGET ABOUT IT UNTIL THE NEXT CURE.
The game also drew 97.5 million viewers — the most-ever for a Super Bowl — topping the previous record set by Dallas-Pittsburgh on NBC in 1996. Viewership gains for events can partially just reflect the continual growth in the U.S. population. [Emphasis added]
TRANSLATION: Nielsen and its flacks can only massage the numbers so much before reader anger kicks in.
NOW LET'S FORGET ABOUT IT UNTIL THE NEXT CURE.
G000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE (we've cut a few zeroes) is below $500 a share, or where it was before its absurd run-up began in August. How do those who bought at the top, egged on by commission-grabbing frauds who predicted $1,000 a share ("Motley Fool" is right), feel about their vast wealth now?
Another thing that makes me made about THE IMMORTAL SPORTS CLASSIC THAT CURES CANCER: the money per thirty these frauds donate to the networks could pay for fifty workers at over $50,000 a year. Tack on all the add-ins and it probably comes to three or four times that -- per thirty. If I were in the market for any bit of goods offered by these public-hating entities I would send off a letter and say that because of your sponsorship I will not buy your product again. I buy enough products from PepsiCo. I may write to its PC CEO.
After the inspiration behind the MASSACRE RALLY I came up with an equation to measure the tedium in news reporting. Now, in the wake of THE GREATEST SPORTS ACHIEVEMENT IN HUMANKIND'S HISTORY, I have come up with a new equation:
[(R * O * W / N) * S] / I = LD
in which, for a given story, R is the number of reporters covering it; O is the number of media outlets covering it; W is the number of words they cover it with; N is the news factor (which given a SUPER BORE is close to zero); S is the show-biz suck-up factor (a VERY large number for the BORE); and I is the total number of insights produced through all the reporters and media outlets and words (certainly less than five, which is generous), and the result is LD -- LOUD and DUMB. I am proud to say I may have been the first writer in America to call the SUPER BORE a MAJESTIC WORK OF GREATNESS because I have become increasingly agitated by the instant clichés LOUD, DUMB WRITING produces. The divisor N approaches the infinitesimal when the subject is SUPER BORE ADS. Then the LOUD and DUMB become a roar so deafening it can almost be heard in Berlin at 3 a.m., when the BORE reaches its fever pitch, to an audience of tens of thousands.
Of course this equation also applies to stories about the godforsaken primaries. We have had little news about them or the candidates. Why should we? To figure what they'll be like as president is Ouija-board-rending speculation. But when did ignorance ever stop a news hack? So, he attempts find earth-shattering consequence in the most mind-numbingly minute details, resulting in kazillions of LOUD and DUMB WORDS, and an increase in mental-ward populations.
Today through Mr. Teachout I discovered this sobering study documenting the young's growing aversion to reading. While we must view such a study with a certain skepticism given information overload -- and that, after all, involves reading, however garbled -- we cannot doubt that our press consumption constitutes an ever-bulkier cross between cotton-candy and bubble gum, and in devising the term GIGO the computer dweebs devised wisdom for the ages, which with the press shows up in ever LOUDER, DUMBER WRITING -- and in a very good reason for refusing to read.
(Updated at 6:15 p. m. today to reflect my ignorance of math, among other things.)
(Further corrected 10/5/2008; "the infinitesimal" replaced "infinity". Stupido!)
[(R * O * W / N) * S] / I = LD
in which, for a given story, R is the number of reporters covering it; O is the number of media outlets covering it; W is the number of words they cover it with; N is the news factor (which given a SUPER BORE is close to zero); S is the show-biz suck-up factor (a VERY large number for the BORE); and I is the total number of insights produced through all the reporters and media outlets and words (certainly less than five, which is generous), and the result is LD -- LOUD and DUMB. I am proud to say I may have been the first writer in America to call the SUPER BORE a MAJESTIC WORK OF GREATNESS because I have become increasingly agitated by the instant clichés LOUD, DUMB WRITING produces. The divisor N approaches the infinitesimal when the subject is SUPER BORE ADS. Then the LOUD and DUMB become a roar so deafening it can almost be heard in Berlin at 3 a.m., when the BORE reaches its fever pitch, to an audience of tens of thousands.
Of course this equation also applies to stories about the godforsaken primaries. We have had little news about them or the candidates. Why should we? To figure what they'll be like as president is Ouija-board-rending speculation. But when did ignorance ever stop a news hack? So, he attempts find earth-shattering consequence in the most mind-numbingly minute details, resulting in kazillions of LOUD and DUMB WORDS, and an increase in mental-ward populations.
Today through Mr. Teachout I discovered this sobering study documenting the young's growing aversion to reading. While we must view such a study with a certain skepticism given information overload -- and that, after all, involves reading, however garbled -- we cannot doubt that our press consumption constitutes an ever-bulkier cross between cotton-candy and bubble gum, and in devising the term GIGO the computer dweebs devised wisdom for the ages, which with the press shows up in ever LOUDER, DUMBER WRITING -- and in a very good reason for refusing to read.
(Updated at 6:15 p. m. today to reflect my ignorance of math, among other things.)
(Further corrected 10/5/2008; "the infinitesimal" replaced "infinity". Stupido!)
Sunday, February 03, 2008
New England was picked by all seven members of ESPN's Scouts Inc. listed on the sports network's Web site. Scouts Inc. does technical analysis of sports from high-school recruits to professionals.
Among ESPN television analysts, former players Keyshawn Johnson, Emmitt Smith and Tom Jackson all picked New England.
The Giants did get support from one: former coach Mike Ditka, the only member of ESPN's weekly pregame show cast to incorrectly predict both of the conference championship games.
Eh, we'll call it luck. Pffffffffffffffffffft!
P. S. You have to wonder if "Spygate" hurt. Alas, the Wall Street Casino will be smug tomorrow, as will all those CEOs, torturing the help for months with, "I SAW THE GREATEST GAME IN WORLD HISTORY -- AND YOU DIDN'T!"
You have to wonder, though if the CEOs haven't gone too far by centering all their commercials around USAOKAY!!!!!'S @#$%&* AD METER.
Among ESPN television analysts, former players Keyshawn Johnson, Emmitt Smith and Tom Jackson all picked New England.
The Giants did get support from one: former coach Mike Ditka, the only member of ESPN's weekly pregame show cast to incorrectly predict both of the conference championship games.
Eh, we'll call it luck. Pffffffffffffffffffft!
P. S. You have to wonder if "Spygate" hurt. Alas, the Wall Street Casino will be smug tomorrow, as will all those CEOs, torturing the help for months with, "I SAW THE GREATEST GAME IN WORLD HISTORY -- AND YOU DIDN'T!"
You have to wonder, though if the CEOs haven't gone too far by centering all their commercials around USAOKAY!!!!!'S @#$%&* AD METER.
Yahoo May Consider Google Alliance, Source Says
And maybe an alliance with ESPNCORP too so it won't display banners like "MITT ROMNEY HAS WON THE MAINE REPUBLICAN CAUCUSES" above the story.
And maybe an alliance with ESPNCORP too so it won't display banners like "MITT ROMNEY HAS WON THE MAINE REPUBLICAN CAUCUSES" above the story.
EWWWWWWWWWWWWW.com has posted what it calls "15 Nominees for Worst Movie Dialogue Ever", offering a comprehensive reason why the "writers" should STAY ON STRIKE.
(Via Micro -- er, Yahoo!)
(Via Micro -- er, Yahoo!)
Google Says Microsoft's Bid for Yahoo Is `Troubling'
I won't guess how many times I've used "the pot calling the kettle black" in my posts, but now would not seem a good time to use it.
Oh I did? Goshdarnit. Forget what I said. With ten hits a day that's easy enough.
I won't guess how many times I've used "the pot calling the kettle black" in my posts, but now would not seem a good time to use it.
Oh I did? Goshdarnit. Forget what I said. With ten hits a day that's easy enough.
That Ernie Pyle's returned to the news for one day through his death photo reminds us how decent news writing was once possible, but now the writing and the writers have become impossible. Change will come only through a whole new news industry -- or maybe a whole new country.
Bank of America may have to ditch its shotgun wedding with Countrywide because some folks don't like the price.
First off, no one held a gun to people's heads forcing them to invest in companies that specialized in subprimes.
Second off, BofA was saving its hide.
First off, no one held a gun to people's heads forcing them to invest in companies that specialized in subprimes.
Second off, BofA was saving its hide.
Instructive juxtaposition from Forbeslist.com:
Diller Won't Go Quietly From IAC
Former Yukos Billionaire On Hunger Strike
Diller Won't Go Quietly From IAC
Former Yukos Billionaire On Hunger Strike
This should have occured to us: Boobs McKeating and Mitt don't like each other because Boobs accused Mitt of engaging in unprecedented porkery for his Winter GAMES!
Let's see there, Boobs: the Windy City wants the GAMES in '16. What will YOU do to help -- on our dime?
P. S. You remember -- the GAMES with the fixed figure-skating competition. Or do you? Some legacy, Mitt.
Let's see there, Boobs: the Windy City wants the GAMES in '16. What will YOU do to help -- on our dime?
P. S. You remember -- the GAMES with the fixed figure-skating competition. Or do you? Some legacy, Mitt.
How odd that two days before THE FOOTBALL GAME THAT CURES ALL DISEASES our favorite animation Web site (and this we mean unironically) posts some ads from the mid-thirties Collier's, like this one with art by William Steig -- each far more effective in the sales pitch than a whole battery of SUPER BORE ADS, whatever GanNETt says.
Odd too that our favorite book reviewer (and this we also mean unironically) writes about the notorious doc named Brinkley with a million-watt station in Mexico, who certainly pioneered in curing people -- of their money, and their health. Rather like professional football.
(He also writes a touching article about the dachshund he had to put down, necessary reading for anyone with a dog, or cat, or a goldfish, for that matter.)
Is it us or does the fellow vaguely resemble Cole Porter?
Earl Butz, the former agriculture secretary who had to resign after he said some pretty poor things persecuting NEWS HACKS refused to disclose to their readers, has died. If he was not an early example of trial by media kangaroo court he was one of the most prominent. RIP.