THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
Blogroll Me!
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Saturday, May 06, 2006
And in other empire-building news:
Toll Bros. says orders down 32%
While this is quite pleasing (except to the blameless carpenters and electricians and plumbers who put up its McMansions) we cannot underestimate the perfidy of the REALTOR® biz, as it continues to build housing exclusively for the rich, and provide fodder for idiot speculators, and make as much of America as it can unaffordable and uninhabitable.
Toll Bros. says orders down 32%
While this is quite pleasing (except to the blameless carpenters and electricians and plumbers who put up its McMansions) we cannot underestimate the perfidy of the REALTOR® biz, as it continues to build housing exclusively for the rich, and provide fodder for idiot speculators, and make as much of America as it can unaffordable and uninhabitable.
Today saw the annual Walnut Street Pain-in-the-A-Double-Scribble Street Festival. Does anyone other than the mayor's PR staff and few businessmen really benefit from these? It's a bunch of people walking and being bored. An extra added attraction was a fight between some Chicago® impersonators and the public pop-rock station WXPN to see who could be more excruciatingly loud. I bought some Chinese food from the restaurant that was better the last time I did it. The girl watching was a little better this year, but that hobby is as profitable as an all-thumbs man building furniture. A oui-oui boutique set up a stand and did what I think was body make-up on several barely-clad women, including someone who vaguely reminded me of Celeste Holm and was quite prominently endowed. I walked away but my eyes wouldn't. When I returned a few hours later they were merely doing make-up.
On a detour to find the City Institute library unexpectedly open I stumbled across Terry Teachout's Commentary article on that superb jazzman "Fats" Waller. Teachout gets a little pretentious writing about pop music, especially people who were in their time considered mere entertainers; but that we more than listen to Fats, we venerate him, a man who died almost 63 years ago, shows the wealth of his culture, and the poverty of ours.
Speaking of -- well, I'm sure I couldn't call it MUSIC, on a trip down to my local A & P (SUPER FRESH!) I passed a park named for the creator of some spectacularly ugly architecture, which had a street festival of its own (well, the weather was nice) and where A CHEAP CHANNEL AUTOMATIC AD PLAYBACK MACHINE was having a contest. I can only hope whenever Fats hears the yowls of our no-talents he can drown them out with deafening blasts on his heavenly pipe organ, which can translate on earth into thunderbolts to zap CHEAP CHANNEL's transmitters.
On a detour to find the City Institute library unexpectedly open I stumbled across Terry Teachout's Commentary article on that superb jazzman "Fats" Waller. Teachout gets a little pretentious writing about pop music, especially people who were in their time considered mere entertainers; but that we more than listen to Fats, we venerate him, a man who died almost 63 years ago, shows the wealth of his culture, and the poverty of ours.
Speaking of -- well, I'm sure I couldn't call it MUSIC, on a trip down to my local A & P (SUPER FRESH!) I passed a park named for the creator of some spectacularly ugly architecture, which had a street festival of its own (well, the weather was nice) and where A CHEAP CHANNEL AUTOMATIC AD PLAYBACK MACHINE was having a contest. I can only hope whenever Fats hears the yowls of our no-talents he can drown them out with deafening blasts on his heavenly pipe organ, which can translate on earth into thunderbolts to zap CHEAP CHANNEL's transmitters.
DUBYA SPEAKS FOR THE AGES AT OKLAHOMA STATE:
"My advice: Harness the promise of technology without becoming slaves to technology. My advice is that science serves the cause of humanity and not the other way around," the president said.
After the speech, some graduates said they couldn't make out clearly what Bush said because of an echo in the audio system at Boone Pickens Stadium.
Since when has BUGMEISTER BILL been in the sound biz?
P. S. Boone! Time to "donate" another $165 million?
"My advice: Harness the promise of technology without becoming slaves to technology. My advice is that science serves the cause of humanity and not the other way around," the president said.
After the speech, some graduates said they couldn't make out clearly what Bush said because of an echo in the audio system at Boone Pickens Stadium.
Since when has BUGMEISTER BILL been in the sound biz?
P. S. Boone! Time to "donate" another $165 million?
Judging from these numbers MMMMMMMMMM-IIIIIIIIII-THREEEEEEEEEE may not be doing as well as expected. It's a measure of the news hacks' stupidity that we should say a film that drew roughly two million movie S&M phreaks its first day is not doing well, but such is our culture's stupidity that we center our lives around every CGI fest and its gross. And we know these are overblown mediocrities at best; Mr. Upthumb, in an exceedingly rare display of candor, said so.
Three more things: people are screaming from the other movies in droves; the B.O. is down over 12 percent from two years ago, when WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!! THE JESUS SLASHER MOVIE had stopped whapping; and no, people don't want to relive 9/11 in a popcorn restaurant.
P. S. Indeed -- THE SON OF GOD pulled in less biz than VAN HOSING -- at MORE POPCORN RESTAURANTS?!?!?
Three more things: people are screaming from the other movies in droves; the B.O. is down over 12 percent from two years ago, when WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!! THE JESUS SLASHER MOVIE had stopped whapping; and no, people don't want to relive 9/11 in a popcorn restaurant.
P. S. Indeed -- THE SON OF GOD pulled in less biz than VAN HOSING -- at MORE POPCORN RESTAURANTS?!?!?
THE DONALD issues another PRESS RELEASE!
It's "unfounded speculation" like this that makes us wish all these REALTORS® would get their comeuppance, but if they did, they wouldn't get hurt. Guess who would.
It's "unfounded speculation" like this that makes us wish all these REALTORS® would get their comeuppance, but if they did, they wouldn't get hurt. Guess who would.
Friday, May 05, 2006
ANOTHER NEWS-HACK DANCING-IN-THE-STREETS FRENZY:
WIE MAKES CUT AT MEN'S EVENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...in South Korea.
WIE MAKES CUT AT MEN'S EVENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...in South Korea.
If the PORNO BIZ is doing $850 kazillion megatrillion dollars why did PLAYBOY hit a 52-week low?
(Via IWantMedia.com)
(Via IWantMedia.com)
Ronny McD's changing his last name to STARBUCKS and has set the franchisees on edge.
Don't they realize bringing more customers into the stores means more money the Mick can spend on crappy television and THE GAMES, which is its real business in life?
I want to see how long those plush furnishings hold up under thousands of children and poor people.
In our other Joke of the Day, NRO is exercised because DVC!!!!! might lead to an outbreak of -- ANTI-SEMITISM!!!!!
I guess it all depends on which side our ANTI-SEMITE is on.
I guess it all depends on which side our ANTI-SEMITE is on.
So -- Pat Kennedy gets away with driving under some sort of influence.
Being a Kennedy is like flashing an AmEx Platinum Card: it disperses the cops -- for a little while.
Being a Kennedy is like flashing an AmEx Platinum Card: it disperses the cops -- for a little while.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
John Daly's "book" is 18 on Amazon.com!
He and the Serial Plagiarist teach us a lesson: you don't have to write to write a book.
He and the Serial Plagiarist teach us a lesson: you don't have to write to write a book.
Yep, it's that time of year when THE AMERICAN SOCIETY OF WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS complains about the mess it helps leave on television! Here we go: Cable now has more "clutter" than broadcast! ABC has the most clutter! FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! has the most commercial minutes! And MTV leads the cable networks in clutter!
Great job, ASWIA! Keep up the good work! We know you will!
P. S. Excuse of the Week:
Even though TV is less cluttered than print and online, viewers believe TV has too much advertising, according to MindShare's research.
You don't need TiVo to read a newspaper.
Great job, ASWIA! Keep up the good work! We know you will!
P. S. Excuse of the Week:
Even though TV is less cluttered than print and online, viewers believe TV has too much advertising, according to MindShare's research.
You don't need TiVo to read a newspaper.
THE TWO "GIUSEPPES": Unlike the quivering Jell-O at piles of technology like G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE, the Pope has taken a bold and courageous stand against the Chinese government. The Holy See appoints bishops, not the technocrats of Beijing.
(Via -- alas -- AMERICA'S NO. 1 SOUTH PARK FAN)
(Via -- alas -- AMERICA'S NO. 1 SOUTH PARK FAN)
The Big Upraised Thumb commits...
Either you want to see mindless action and computer-generated sequences executed with breakneck speed and technical precision, or you do not. I am getting to the point where I don't much care. There is a theory that action is exciting and dialogue is boring. My theory is that variety is exciting and sameness is boring. Modern high-tech action sequences are just the same damn thing over and over again: high-speed chases, desperate gun battles, all possible modes of transportation, falls from high places, deadly deadlines, exotic locations and characters who hardly ever say anything interesting.
...HERESY!!!!!
(Via ShowBizData.com)
Either you want to see mindless action and computer-generated sequences executed with breakneck speed and technical precision, or you do not. I am getting to the point where I don't much care. There is a theory that action is exciting and dialogue is boring. My theory is that variety is exciting and sameness is boring. Modern high-tech action sequences are just the same damn thing over and over again: high-speed chases, desperate gun battles, all possible modes of transportation, falls from high places, deadly deadlines, exotic locations and characters who hardly ever say anything interesting.
...HERESY!!!!!
(Via ShowBizData.com)
Crude falls under $70 for the first time in three weeks
I know what did it -- it was PASSING THAT LEGISLATION!!!!!
Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft!!!!!
I know what did it -- it was PASSING THAT LEGISLATION!!!!!
Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft!!!!!
When in the God's name is LucasCorp going to go PUBLIC?
• In Star Wars, Han Solo shoots a bounty hunter named Greedo. Lucas changed the scene later so it seemed that Greedo draws first, and changed it again for the DVD so that they appear to shoot simultaneously.
We think we understand why.
• In Star Wars, Han Solo shoots a bounty hunter named Greedo. Lucas changed the scene later so it seemed that Greedo draws first, and changed it again for the DVD so that they appear to shoot simultaneously.
We think we understand why.
6 charged with fraud in Big Dig contract
They worked for Aggregate Industries....
Indeed.
(From Boston.com's home page)
They worked for Aggregate Industries....
Indeed.
(From Boston.com's home page)
OH oh:
Gillette Acquisition May Be Hurting P&G
Perhaps trying to finance all the world's junk television is NOT such a good idea.
Gillette Acquisition May Be Hurting P&G
Perhaps trying to finance all the world's junk television is NOT such a good idea.
Why Sudan But Not Iraq?
Why Iraq but not Sudan?
Why must our intervention in foreign quagmires always be dictated by RIGHT and LEFT?
And no, I'm not fond of the SCAB PICKER either.
Why Iraq but not Sudan?
Why must our intervention in foreign quagmires always be dictated by RIGHT and LEFT?
And no, I'm not fond of the SCAB PICKER either.
For a moment, Richard Cohen's brain sputters brightly ON:
On television, Colbert is often funny. [Well, there's no accounting for tastes. --ED.] But on his own show he appeals to a self-selected audience that reminds him often of his greatness. In Washington he was playing to a different crowd, and he failed dismally in the funny person's most solemn obligation: to use absurdity or contrast or hyperbole to elucidate -- to make people see things a little bit differently. He had a chance to tell the president and much of important (and self-important) Washington things it would have been good for them to hear. But he was, like much of the blogosphere itself, telling like-minded people what they already know and alienating all the others. In this sense, he was a man for our times.
He also wasn't funny.
Now may we finally put THAT DINNER to rest?
(Via the ineffable ROMY)
On television, Colbert is often funny. [Well, there's no accounting for tastes. --ED.] But on his own show he appeals to a self-selected audience that reminds him often of his greatness. In Washington he was playing to a different crowd, and he failed dismally in the funny person's most solemn obligation: to use absurdity or contrast or hyperbole to elucidate -- to make people see things a little bit differently. He had a chance to tell the president and much of important (and self-important) Washington things it would have been good for them to hear. But he was, like much of the blogosphere itself, telling like-minded people what they already know and alienating all the others. In this sense, he was a man for our times.
He also wasn't funny.
Now may we finally put THAT DINNER to rest?
(Via the ineffable ROMY)
The dimwitted House sluts pass a piece of -- "ETHICS" legislation, meaning crookery as usual.
TERM LIMITS NOW!
TERM LIMITS NOW!
Mr. My Business is My Business, part of the right-wing division of the herd of independent jernalistic minds, confirms in his busy typing, and especially in his last graf...
Small wonder that a conservative wit has surmised that the wisdom of economists varies inversely with their heights. Milton Friedman, 93, is 5 feet tall.
...what I said a few days ago: John Kenneth Galbraith and Milton Friedman are all-purpose all-seers who tell only the truths you want to hear. Galbraith told the truth of socialism and state control; Friedman tells the truth of greed and moral laissez faire. Their acolytes swoon to their respective truths. The rest of us just swoon.
Small wonder that a conservative wit has surmised that the wisdom of economists varies inversely with their heights. Milton Friedman, 93, is 5 feet tall.
...what I said a few days ago: John Kenneth Galbraith and Milton Friedman are all-purpose all-seers who tell only the truths you want to hear. Galbraith told the truth of socialism and state control; Friedman tells the truth of greed and moral laissez faire. Their acolytes swoon to their respective truths. The rest of us just swoon.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
John Daly's "book" is 23 on Amazon.com!
Making another trip to Vegas soon, Boom-Boom-Boom?
Making another trip to Vegas soon, Boom-Boom-Boom?
The question is not IF we'll have three big overbearing tone-deaf record companies, it's WHEN.
In a statement released early this morning, EMI said Warner Music had rejected it's proposal....
[SIC!]
In a statement released early this morning, EMI said Warner Music had rejected it's proposal....
[SIC!]
OOOOOOOOOOooooooooooh, Dave at AmSpec got MAD:
"I would rather have a clean government than one where, quote, First Amendment rights are being respected, that has become corrupt. If I had my choice, I’d rather have the clean government."
That, my friends, is why John McCain shouldn't be president, in principle. And why he may not make it, practically. This quote will come back to haunt him.
Okay Dave, we don't trust BOOBS McKEATING either. So here's a suggestion: How about 535 Duke Cunninghams in Congress, for starters? And how about thousands of Dukes in government agencies? And how about a Duke in the White House?
Just a suggestion. Too many of your ilk would take it.
"I would rather have a clean government than one where, quote, First Amendment rights are being respected, that has become corrupt. If I had my choice, I’d rather have the clean government."
That, my friends, is why John McCain shouldn't be president, in principle. And why he may not make it, practically. This quote will come back to haunt him.
Okay Dave, we don't trust BOOBS McKEATING either. So here's a suggestion: How about 535 Duke Cunninghams in Congress, for starters? And how about thousands of Dukes in government agencies? And how about a Duke in the White House?
Just a suggestion. Too many of your ilk would take it.
I confess to be of two minds about something like this. On the one hand sodas should probably never have been sold in schools in the first place; they certainly weren't at my elementary school. On the other hand the SLICK imprimatur means this is PC to the NTH, and will liberals please explain why we should have no sodas in schools while allowing unlimited abortions?
WE MAY NEVER BE THROUGH WITH THAT @#$%&* DEBATE ABOUT THAT @#$%&* DINNER IN THAT @#$%&* CAPITOL!
How often in their lifetime did Washington or Lincoln hear the word "IRONIC"?
How often in their lifetime did Washington or Lincoln hear the word "IRONIC"?
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Buggy Bill's vista may recede a few more months.
That's okay; it'll give his writers more time to assemble SP1.
That's okay; it'll give his writers more time to assemble SP1.
Speaking of power, The power of RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and the Web:
NEWHALL Hart High School is on alert today and half the students stayed home after a ``bring your weapons to school day'' posting on the popular MySpace.com web site, school officials said.
NEWHALL Hart High School is on alert today and half the students stayed home after a ``bring your weapons to school day'' posting on the popular MySpace.com web site, school officials said.
I'M SICK OF YOU SNOBBY WEALTHY SCRIBBLERS YAK-YAK-YAKKING ABOUT YOUR @#$%&* DINNER!!!!!
(VIA ROMY, WHOM I'M GETTING TIRED OF ALSO)
(VIA ROMY, WHOM I'M GETTING TIRED OF ALSO)
Saudi minister says oil prices too high
Pffh-hh-hh hh hh hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!
Pffh-hh-hh hh hh hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!
"Insight" and "Ben Brantley" are two terms that seldom go together, but we must confess he's hit the nail about musicals. People want to laugh, they want to be enchanted, they want melodic tunes and bright lyrics -- and what they get is "at best...a festive entree at a high-end suburban dinner theater." But this is, after all, Branson East, a chain of high-end suburban dinner theaters in Manhattan, and Branson East exists not to enchant people, but to gouge them.
Lifestyles of the Rich and Sated:
[I]n January 2001, for his wife's birthday, he spent $200,000 to charter a boat called Amnesia.
"I remember an Amnesia," Lay said, to the laughter of some jurors. "I think it was appropriately named."
Yes, Ken, we sure would like to forget about YOU.
[I]n January 2001, for his wife's birthday, he spent $200,000 to charter a boat called Amnesia.
"I remember an Amnesia," Lay said, to the laughter of some jurors. "I think it was appropriately named."
Yes, Ken, we sure would like to forget about YOU.
"The word 'arrested,' this is semantics," the conservative commentator said of his booking Friday. "This was all arranged in advance. I was voluntarily processed."
The word "druggie," this is semantics. I was merely taking PAIN RELIEVERS.
Hey ya like my snazzy smile?
The word "druggie," this is semantics. I was merely taking PAIN RELIEVERS.
Hey ya like my snazzy smile?
Lawmakers deal with voter anger over 'pork' Panel received 21,863 earmark requests from representatives, down from 34,687.
Am I supposed to be impressed? That's still over 50 per Congressional district!
Am I supposed to be impressed? That's still over 50 per Congressional district!
If the Lord God had given us $60 million we think we'd find better places to put it than in the gaping, all-consuming maw of gambling, but no one ever said John Daly was intelligent.
Then again, his RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-printed "book" is now up to 75 on Amazon.com, so maybe he isn't so stupid to gamble.
Then again, his RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-printed "book" is now up to 75 on Amazon.com, so maybe he isn't so stupid to gamble.
Monday, May 01, 2006
Iran denounced the United States on Monday for contemplating possible nuclear strikes against Iranian targets and urged the United Nations to take urgent action against what it called a dangerous violation of international law.
Ten thousand Rudy Vallees would have trouble when CURLEY's [Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!] STOOGES become THE WORLD'S BIGGEST MEGAPHONE.
In a letter to U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan obtained by The Associated Press....
THE LEAGUE OF NATIONS AGREES!
Ten thousand Rudy Vallees would have trouble when CURLEY's [Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!] STOOGES become THE WORLD'S BIGGEST MEGAPHONE.
In a letter to U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan obtained by The Associated Press....
THE LEAGUE OF NATIONS AGREES!
While PREENING IDIOTS like THE ERIC SEVAREID OF COMEDY create a strong toxic stench across the land, let us remember the unknown who persevere through catastrophes like terminal cancer, and who can live each day with bravery and strength, qualities missing from ERIC and the people he hectored.
Jake of Stale.com may edit PEOPLE NEWSRAG!
ONNNNNNNNN-WARRRRRRRRRRRRD LIIIIIIIIBERALLLLLLLL SOLLLLLLLLLLLLLDIERRRRRRRRRRRRRS....
(Via the usual Romy, who was very excited too)
ONNNNNNNNN-WARRRRRRRRRRRRD LIIIIIIIIBERALLLLLLLL SOLLLLLLLLLLLLLDIERRRRRRRRRRRRRS....
(Via the usual Romy, who was very excited too)
Wow! Miss MoneyPenny of the Big C MOVES THE MARKETS!
You feeling misunderstood, Ben? Talk like THE WIZARD.
You feeling misunderstood, Ben? Talk like THE WIZARD.
Eulogy for a studio:
"People reacted to 'Tomcats' with derision, saying, 'You had creative freedom and this is what you made?'..."
Yes, this is what THE CONSPIRACY makes.
"People reacted to 'Tomcats' with derision, saying, 'You had creative freedom and this is what you made?'..."
Yes, this is what THE CONSPIRACY makes.
Prior to United's release, studio tracking surveys showed a high percentage of movie patrons were "definitely not interested" in seeing it.
$11.5 million divided by, oh, $9 a ticket is about 1.3 million people. Out of 300 million I'd say that's on the mark.
Some analysts were unimpressed, however, pointing out that the film had received a ton of free publicity and positive reviews and as a result ought to have performed better than it did.
We've said it before, we'll say it again: a ton of free publicity and positive reviews are nothing with a biz whose specialty is junk.
How many people does it take to write a press release?
$11.5 million divided by, oh, $9 a ticket is about 1.3 million people. Out of 300 million I'd say that's on the mark.
Some analysts were unimpressed, however, pointing out that the film had received a ton of free publicity and positive reviews and as a result ought to have performed better than it did.
We've said it before, we'll say it again: a ton of free publicity and positive reviews are nothing with a biz whose specialty is junk.
How many people does it take to write a press release?
NRO has a KUDLOW MOMENT! It cluttered up its site so it could sell more ads. We can't blame them, but who in his right mind would want to spend money on THE CORNER?
Time for THE PLANK!
Time for THE PLANK!
So the Bodacious Airhead got the Nine Fingers to agree with her. So what? It's simply a matter of venues -- and the lunatical NINTH CIRCUIT.
Now let's see if the golddigger wins.
Now let's see if the golddigger wins.
I was too busy today to notice that but for WaPost I wouldn't get any hits. Well, at least I can get them from somebody. Now why can't other news Web sites be similarly enlightened and open themselves up to blog posts?
Technorati, though, is even more arbitrary and capricious than G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE. A deal in the offing?
Technorati, though, is even more arbitrary and capricious than G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE. A deal in the offing?
Well might the Napoleon of jurisprudence and the Sheridan of [C]RAP look "sheepish." The Beltway specializes in compromising positions, all the more so when the people involved are so easily compromised.
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Pakistan Frees Senior Nuclear Scientist
Next stop -- Tehran?
Where are the holy truth tellers on this one? Debating how many of the ERIC SEVAREID OF COMEDY's platitudes can fit on the head of a pin?
Next stop -- Tehran?
Where are the holy truth tellers on this one? Debating how many of the ERIC SEVAREID OF COMEDY's platitudes can fit on the head of a pin?
As the masses of the perpetually stupefied movie S&M phreaks are about to launch a blizzard of their money into Hollywood's streets we should not feel too hopeful, but that a heavily publicized piece of rot like this has been more-or-less squooshed at the B. O. gives us a slight tremor of thankfulness.
The Professor may have thought he was being cute, but his link to a local newpaper video of a burlesque show underlines why surfing the Web is becoming increasingly exasperating. It is hard enough to know what is worth your time and what isn't, and most video blogging isn't. Certainly this one wasn't; the ladies were pudgy and Minnelli-ish and they couldn't sing, and the bad video values added to the headache. I'd just come across an obvious LALATimes interactive show about that area's real estate, and both productions confirm again that words far more efficiently communicate than terabytes of bandwidth.
And to top it off there is an extremely annoying Lincoln-Douglas going on about THE ERIC SEVAREID OF COMEDY and his truth-telling last night. If this malarkey constitutes news and debate we should all throw our computers out the window.
But then it doesn't help my mood that no one seems to notice my blog, and that I'm doomed to be on the outside looking in.
And to top it off there is an extremely annoying Lincoln-Douglas going on about THE ERIC SEVAREID OF COMEDY and his truth-telling last night. If this malarkey constitutes news and debate we should all throw our computers out the window.
But then it doesn't help my mood that no one seems to notice my blog, and that I'm doomed to be on the outside looking in.
Between that OP-ED piece and all those ex-general friends yapping we'd say COLIN's trying to stage a PALACE COUP!
Wrong country, Col!
Wrong country, Col!
I repeat what I said some time ago: It's not Y because that's "ageist," and it's not C because that's an establishment of religion, and it can't be W anymore because we're letting men into the leadership ranks, so why not call it what it deserves to be called -- the A?
Today out of sheer boredom I downloaded something called "Learning Essentials for Microsoft Office." It is everything you'd suspect it would be: lots of templates, lots of very cute looking cover pages, lots of stupid suggestions for clueless teachers, lots of tie-ins to BUGMEISTER BILL's friends, and a generous dose of sales pitches for Encarta premium content. In short, it is a "technology-rich" pile of garbage, and may help explain why kids are having trouble learning and the BUGMEISTER's stock had its worst day in six years last week.
I uninstalled the software.
I uninstalled the software.
The Do-Not-So-Much-Evil guys speculate on domain names -- and confuse Web surfers to the tune of BIG BUCKS!
Who gave you that idea? The Chinese leadership?
Who gave you that idea? The Chinese leadership?
Energy Secretary T-H-R-O-T-T-L-E-B-O-T-T-O-M, having predicted the sky would fall after Katrina, now says the sky will keep on falling for THREE YEARS!
Meantime SEN. GRAFTY O'SPECTER comes to the rescue with a WINDFALL PROFITS TAX. I could say something about GRAFTY, a gas pump and his behind but we'll leave it at that.
Meantime SEN. GRAFTY O'SPECTER comes to the rescue with a WINDFALL PROFITS TAX. I could say something about GRAFTY, a gas pump and his behind but we'll leave it at that.
John Kenneth Galbraith, who was to liberals what Milton Friedman has been to conservatives, an all-purpose all-seer who told only the truths you wanted to hear, has died. RIP.
But other economists, even many of his fellow liberals, did not generally share his views on production and consumption, and he was not regarded by his peers as among the top-ranked theorists and scholars.
This admission is impossible to fathom in the PAPER OF RE-CORD of twenty years ago. What goes here? Jayson, perhaps?
But other economists, even many of his fellow liberals, did not generally share his views on production and consumption, and he was not regarded by his peers as among the top-ranked theorists and scholars.
This admission is impossible to fathom in the PAPER OF RE-CORD of twenty years ago. What goes here? Jayson, perhaps?
Mr. Mark pulls a News-You-Can-Use by again ranking high schools (just what we need, Mr. Mark, snobbism and castes in high schools -- and for the folks at K-A-P-L-A-N to profit! Right Mr. Mark?). Meantime the TWXSTERS run their idiotic "100 Most Influentials List", of which half seem to work for them. Nice to know the NEWSRAG editors keep thinking of their PROFITS! They sure as heck ain't thinking of us.
In further newsrag news Mr. Mark's boys spend to two pages LAUGHING over the SWEET PAYBACK for the EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL con-SER-va-tive RUSH -- and wouldn't merely communicating the TRUTH be more devastating? Like the dopey mug shot? No. Making all that big money we have to WALLOW in it. And count on our devotion to the man who pays our inflated checks: we obscure Dana and her CO-PULITZER WINNER by flogging the dead horse called the PLAME CASE! NICE SYNERGY! And as a consolation prize we DO run an INSIDE plug for FIFTEEN GREAT MOVIES! (But do I detect some doubt creeping into our plugs for "DVC" and MMMMMMMMMM-IIIIIIIIII THREEEEEEEEEE? Mr. Mark will have to reprimand our trio of TOP FLACKS!) Yes, every day I definitely know what Terry Teachout meant. (And let us not forget he complained about some PR over the resignation of a PEOPLE NEWSRAG editor.)
And we get this interesting hed from the TWXSTERS:
Time Runs Out for Iran at the U.N. Now What?
That's easy -- we just reset the clock.
P. S. By the way, Mr. Mark, we LOVE the title of that "Web exclusive":
'At Some Point, Reality Has Its Day'
Except in your offices.
(Revised as I very stupidly did not see the TWXSTERS changed their cover. But then one newsrag cover does seem to blend in with all the others.)
In further newsrag news Mr. Mark's boys spend to two pages LAUGHING over the SWEET PAYBACK for the EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL con-SER-va-tive RUSH -- and wouldn't merely communicating the TRUTH be more devastating? Like the dopey mug shot? No. Making all that big money we have to WALLOW in it. And count on our devotion to the man who pays our inflated checks: we obscure Dana and her CO-PULITZER WINNER by flogging the dead horse called the PLAME CASE! NICE SYNERGY! And as a consolation prize we DO run an INSIDE plug for FIFTEEN GREAT MOVIES! (But do I detect some doubt creeping into our plugs for "DVC" and MMMMMMMMMM-IIIIIIIIII THREEEEEEEEEE? Mr. Mark will have to reprimand our trio of TOP FLACKS!) Yes, every day I definitely know what Terry Teachout meant. (And let us not forget he complained about some PR over the resignation of a PEOPLE NEWSRAG editor.)
And we get this interesting hed from the TWXSTERS:
Time Runs Out for Iran at the U.N. Now What?
That's easy -- we just reset the clock.
P. S. By the way, Mr. Mark, we LOVE the title of that "Web exclusive":
'At Some Point, Reality Has Its Day'
Except in your offices.
(Revised as I very stupidly did not see the TWXSTERS changed their cover. But then one newsrag cover does seem to blend in with all the others.)