THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Saturday, February 14, 2004
If we accept that this year's presidential campaign will be the "dirtiest ever," this is excellent news for the media ruling class, because it means more negative ads, which keep the vote down, and more money for more negative ads, which keeps the profits up, and more endless blather by NEWS HACKS injecting themselves into every facet of the campaign, which means with every voter discouraged by the negative ads our weasel words gain that much more power, and a greater hope we can repeat FIASCO 2000, in which we decided to decide the race before it was decided, leading to lots of voters staying home and lots and lots more voters being angry afterwards. And before we blather about THE WEB, remember, FIASCO 2000 had a large Web presence -- an ultimately irrelevant one, as BIGMEDIA triumphed.
RAH! RAH! RAH! One of CURLEY's (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES calls PROF and ANDY S. CONSERVATIVE, thus justifying the notion there's a GROUNDSWELL OF DISSENT AMONG CONSERVATIVES AGAINST OPPOSING GAY MARRIAGE.
If I've said it once, I've said it a zillion times: these two SUPERMEGABLOGGERS are essentially GLIBERTARIANS. GLIBERTARIANS combine the worst of the knee-jerk liberal (laissez-faire morals) and the worst of the knee-jerk conservative (laissez-faire capitalism), spiced with a surpassing glibness. The only real difference between these two FORBES 400 bloggers and the classic GLIBERTARIAN is that they've made the right noises about the war. But they're NOT conservative. PROF has even SAID SO. (The same is arguably true of DAVID HOROWITZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! as well, as he was a co-founder of the Republicans' We'll-Do-Anything-Anything-to-Get-Money-from-Show-Business Congressional Committee.)
And as HOWARD STERN has remarked, the old labels don't work anymore anyway.
If I've said it once, I've said it a zillion times: these two SUPERMEGABLOGGERS are essentially GLIBERTARIANS. GLIBERTARIANS combine the worst of the knee-jerk liberal (laissez-faire morals) and the worst of the knee-jerk conservative (laissez-faire capitalism), spiced with a surpassing glibness. The only real difference between these two FORBES 400 bloggers and the classic GLIBERTARIAN is that they've made the right noises about the war. But they're NOT conservative. PROF has even SAID SO. (The same is arguably true of DAVID HOROWITZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! as well, as he was a co-founder of the Republicans' We'll-Do-Anything-Anything-to-Get-Money-from-Show-Business Congressional Committee.)
And as HOWARD STERN has remarked, the old labels don't work anymore anyway.
The latest conundrum hanging over Howard Dean and his campaign is how to give up a serious bid for the White House without devolving into some obscure trivia question.
You mean, which candidate killed his campaign by going YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAARRRRRGH!!!!!?
You mean, which candidate killed his campaign by going YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAARRRRRGH!!!!!?
Here's the next target of knee-jerk liberals: NASCAR. But I can think of hundreds of better reasons for going after it (greed, fuel consumption, backhanding the fans, excessive marketing and promotion, increasing bad sportsmanship, love of crashes, etc., etc.) than POLITICS.
And GanNETt's USA Okay SELL SELL SELLS the sport, so you know those NAZIS are full of dollar signs.
And GanNETt's USA Okay SELL SELL SELLS the sport, so you know those NAZIS are full of dollar signs.
Same-sex couples plan S.F. Valentine’s Day weddings
RATHER THAN SPEND 24 HOURS celebrating love and romance tomorrow, some politically correct feminists would prefer we spend Valentine's Day pondering rape, incest, and domestic violence. Inaugurated in 1998, "V-Day"--the term a coalition of feminist groups use to describe their new version of Valentine's Day--is, according to its organizers, "a palpable energy, a fierce catalyst, . . . a global movement to stop violence against women and girls."
The ideological pretzel of liberalism grows even tighter. (CAVEAT: That second link is a RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
RATHER THAN SPEND 24 HOURS celebrating love and romance tomorrow, some politically correct feminists would prefer we spend Valentine's Day pondering rape, incest, and domestic violence. Inaugurated in 1998, "V-Day"--the term a coalition of feminist groups use to describe their new version of Valentine's Day--is, according to its organizers, "a palpable energy, a fierce catalyst, . . . a global movement to stop violence against women and girls."
The ideological pretzel of liberalism grows even tighter. (CAVEAT: That second link is a RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
NEWS HACKS and other knee-jerk liberals will be in an uproar (as will glibertar -- ANTI-IDIOTARIANS), but why shouldn't our government vigorously prosecute porn? After all, our government helped give us porn through its "I know it when I see when when I feel it when I smell it" judicial evasions, and it has an organized crime element, so why not?
When I read a story like this it becomes obvious government often has nothing to do with governing.
EL SEGUNDO, Calif., Feb. 13 /PRNewswire-FirstCall/ -- Today Bloomberg
published a story containing certain comments attributed to a Mattel executive
during an interview at the American International Toy Fair in New York. The
story indicated that, in the context of discussing certain new toys being
shown at the Toy Fair, the executive made sales projections related to the
Barbie(R) brand. As the company has previously indicated, it is Mattel policy
not to provide sales or earnings guidance. The company encourages investors
not to rely on the information contained in the story.
You don't think that stunt involving CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES had anything to do with this, do you? NAH.
published a story containing certain comments attributed to a Mattel executive
during an interview at the American International Toy Fair in New York. The
story indicated that, in the context of discussing certain new toys being
shown at the Toy Fair, the executive made sales projections related to the
Barbie(R) brand. As the company has previously indicated, it is Mattel policy
not to provide sales or earnings guidance. The company encourages investors
not to rely on the information contained in the story.
You don't think that stunt involving CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES had anything to do with this, do you? NAH.
The best solution to the breach of "anonymity" on Web sites is just to use your real name and be done with it.
That I say this using a pseudonym does not undercut my argument.
That I say this using a pseudonym does not undercut my argument.
A former head of the former show-biz giant MCA says, "As nice as it is to run these companies, I can tell you from personal experience there's a lot to be said about not running them." But we can tell you from personal experience -- consuming your dreck, principally -- that we suppose it must be a lot nicer to run these companies than not running them, and that's why MICKEYMOUSE NIXON intends to take it with him.
Friday, February 13, 2004
Jackson Trial May Start at Year's End
Great. Now the NEWS HACKS will have a whole YEAR to rehearse their speculations.
Great. Now the NEWS HACKS will have a whole YEAR to rehearse their speculations.
Looks like P. R. MEL's hiding his movie in the backwoods. This thing looks like more and more like a holier-than-thou distant cousin of SUMNER'S STUNT every day.
Disney exploring ESPN-branded cell phone service
This got MICKEYMOUSE NIXON AND THE ROBBER-BARON ROBERTSES excited. Can you hear 10 million cell phones going Dah-duh-DUT! Dah-duh-DUT!! Or having DICKIE V act as a RINGER!
AWESOME BABY!!!!!
This got MICKEYMOUSE NIXON AND THE ROBBER-BARON ROBERTSES excited. Can you hear 10 million cell phones going Dah-duh-DUT! Dah-duh-DUT!! Or having DICKIE V act as a RINGER!
AWESOME BABY!!!!!
"We haven't seen synergies work between Time Warner content and cable. Why is it going to work here?"
BECAUSE COMCAST SAYS SO.
BECAUSE COMCAST SAYS SO.
Canada's government on Friday condemned a show by NBC's Conan O'Brien that insulted people in French-speaking Quebec and seemed to suggest everyone in the province was homosexual.
OOOOOOOOOOoooooooooh y'oughtn't t'have done it, Conan! EH?
Ottawa and the province of Ontario paid $760,000 to help O'Brien -- who appears on the NBC television network -- bring his show to Toronto for a week....
HARDY HAR HAR!
OOOOOOOOOOoooooooooh y'oughtn't t'have done it, Conan! EH?
Ottawa and the province of Ontario paid $760,000 to help O'Brien -- who appears on the NBC television network -- bring his show to Toronto for a week....
HARDY HAR HAR!
Mr. Nobel has cut a deal to reunify Cyprus. Given that it's Mr. Nobel doing the dealing I wouldn't bring down that wall just yet.
Here is another MORON who wastes billions every year annoying his customers and putting all manner of dog poop on television, who just wasted millions financing the platform for SUMNER'S STUNT, and he says ADVERTISING ISN'T WORKING!!!!! This is rankest hypocrisy, because he isn't going to do anything to undercut his fiefdom, and he reserves the right to finance his torrent of raw sewage so long as a little fairy whispers in his ear that ADVERTISING SELLS.
On the strength of this post -- and these words:
[Y]ou’d be surprised how fast good taste can go out the window when big bucks come flooding in the front door.
-- I am listing my first permalink to another blog. If I could only find a dozen such blogs, but too many want to be PROF, or BUZZ, or ANDY S., or lgf, or AIN'T IT COOL NEWS.
[Y]ou’d be surprised how fast good taste can go out the window when big bucks come flooding in the front door.
-- I am listing my first permalink to another blog. If I could only find a dozen such blogs, but too many want to be PROF, or BUZZ, or ANDY S., or lgf, or AIN'T IT COOL NEWS.
FRISCO marries two lesbians while letting thousands of suffering bagmen enjoy their FIRST-AMENDMENT RIGHTS.
The ideological pretzel of liberalism, defined.
The ideological pretzel of liberalism, defined.
Who wants to bet the fools Roberts pere et fils end up selling off EisnerCorp Network? This would mean they're paying $66 billion for a third that much in assets -- but then cable moguls will do anything, ANYTHING to RAISE THEIR SUBSCRIBERS' RATES.
This is looking to be every bit as counterproductive as when EisnerCorp bought CapCities -- the root of that company's much-masticated woes.
This is looking to be every bit as counterproductive as when EisnerCorp bought CapCities -- the root of that company's much-masticated woes.
Having mentioned WALTER WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and The National Enquirer, PROF's decided he's not interested in DIPPITY-DO's sex life because it's the gliber -- ANTI-IDIOTARIAN thing to do.
I'm tired of writing about PROF and the other FORBES 400 bloggers, but increasingly they own the key to a certain zeitgeist on the Web -- and they're willing to throw it away so no one else can get at it. And I still get my three hits a day despite over a year of postings.
I'm tired of writing about PROF and the other FORBES 400 bloggers, but increasingly they own the key to a certain zeitgeist on the Web -- and they're willing to throw it away so no one else can get at it. And I still get my three hits a day despite over a year of postings.
Thursday, February 12, 2004
Let's see what happens next week, next month, or next year.
I'm willing to venture -- not much.
But the ZONNNNNNNNN made Mary Bono mad, so that's a start.
I'm willing to venture -- not much.
But the ZONNNNNNNNN made Mary Bono mad, so that's a start.
A Money rag "editor-at-large" thinks BIG:
Media stocks are undervalued and have begun a major recovery.
Translation: Please, PLEASE dear Lord, make it $90 a share again, PLEASE, PLEASE!!!!!
Media stocks are undervalued and have begun a major recovery.
Translation: Please, PLEASE dear Lord, make it $90 a share again, PLEASE, PLEASE!!!!!
More proof Roberts pere et fils are spending blindly:
Comcast would leverage Disney's cable networks and content libraries to offer its 21.5 million cable subscribers new interactive and on-demand services....
This is PRECISELY the kind of BS LEGENDARY WELCH spewed when he announced THE MESS, and look what happened to IT.
Comcast would leverage Disney's cable networks and content libraries to offer its 21.5 million cable subscribers new interactive and on-demand services....
This is PRECISELY the kind of BS LEGENDARY WELCH spewed when he announced THE MESS, and look what happened to IT.
You can view this story in two ways: 1. You wonder if Athens was the right place to stage the GE BANCORP GAMES, given its proximity to so many holy cockroaches; and 2. Spoiled pro basketball stars are in their crybaby mode. I choose both.
Surprise, surprise, look who retired Gen. (and once-and-future zillion-dollar LOBBYI$T) McCLELLAN is backing. Hope this doesn't do what Petrified Tree did to PSYCHO!
Fade away, general, FADE AWAY.
Fade away, general, FADE AWAY.
Why so much in magazines is idle typing:
In its March issue, already on newsstands, [a Rodale Press rag that shall remain anonymous here] publishes its annual list of "The 25 Toughest Guys in America" -- and [Sen. Rodham] weighs in at No. 25, just behind human crash test dummy Rusty Haight, who has been in 740 car wrecks.
And of course today the hacks are also wasting our time with the "NEWS" that Barbie and Ken are "splitting." WHY DO YOU NEWS HACK IDIOTS THINK I'M STUPID?
P. S. NATCH, CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES are behind both intelligence insults.
In its March issue, already on newsstands, [a Rodale Press rag that shall remain anonymous here] publishes its annual list of "The 25 Toughest Guys in America" -- and [Sen. Rodham] weighs in at No. 25, just behind human crash test dummy Rusty Haight, who has been in 740 car wrecks.
And of course today the hacks are also wasting our time with the "NEWS" that Barbie and Ken are "splitting." WHY DO YOU NEWS HACK IDIOTS THINK I'M STUPID?
P. S. NATCH, CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES are behind both intelligence insults.
There must be an alternative to lethal weapons in situations that may not require them. Except for those who are in the thrall of the strongest drugs using deadly force against angry people is often like using a sledgehammer against a fly. The problem is even taser guns can cause problems, and we know what happened when some MORONS tried breaking up a fight in a Chicago nightclub with pepper spray. There must be an alternative.
I've been in a bad frame of mind about this blog in the last week because it's apparent that I'm going to get no more than three hits a day from now on. I know I'm not good with logorrhea -- pithy remarks actually seem a great disadvantage on the time-starved Web -- nevertheless I hope someone out there thinks I can write, and if someone can, please pass my name on to SOMEBODY who can get me more than three hits a day. I don't think that's asking TOO much.
I see PROF, who's always complaining about the perfidy of NEWS HACKS, has a day of it with rumors surrounding DIPPITY-DO's private life, linking to, among other sites, The National Enquirer's. Two things: sleazy behavior didn't bring down Clinton's first campaign, and someone at the Enquirer's site typed "Jack Parr."
I have come to the conclusion that PROF didn't know who Osama was before 9/11 either.
I have come to the conclusion that PROF didn't know who Osama was before 9/11 either.
Buzz Newhouse finally mentions THE MERGER -- and he spends most of his words quoting LALA (and he doesn't link, perhaps because he's mad TRIB requires REGISTRATION -- or maybe he just didn't want to bother, as if often the case with his spelling). That he's basically neutral about MICKEYMOUSE NIXON indicates that he thinks he can use his connections for the greater glory of gods -- gods including, perhaps, MICKEYMOUSE NIXON.
You'd think somebody who's been in show-biz PR for so long could do better. Then think TWXsters, and you think wrong.
You'd think somebody who's been in show-biz PR for so long could do better. Then think TWXsters, and you think wrong.
Let's not tap dance around this one: THAT @#$%&* "FATHER OF HIS COUNTRY" was engaging in NUCLEAR BLACKMAIL. My guess he was engaged with OSAMA. The perfidy of some "respected" people boggles the mind.
And the one thing, THE ONE THING that probably gets him mad is that he won't enjoy 72 QUINTILLION VIRGINS IN HEAVEN now.
And the one thing, THE ONE THING that probably gets him mad is that he won't enjoy 72 QUINTILLION VIRGINS IN HEAVEN now.
Another superb reason for THE DEAL: Roberts pere et fils wanted to pay less for ESPN.
That's one savings these clowns WON'T pass on to their customers.
That's one savings these clowns WON'T pass on to their customers.
PROF, THE WORLD'S LEADING BLOGGER®, still hasn't mentioned you-know-who's merger, but he got around to a John Leo column about, oh, four days late.
What's gotten more NEWS HACK coverage: DO's protesting, or Dubya's service record?
WHAT'S THE ANSWER, Romenesko? Howie "Hair Shirt" Kurtz?
WHAT'S THE ANSWER, Romenesko? Howie "Hair Shirt" Kurtz?
Duke 'Probably' Won't Run for Congress
Shucks, I was hoping we'd have our first real Nazi there. God knows he wouldn't be its last convicted crook.
Shucks, I was hoping we'd have our first real Nazi there. God knows he wouldn't be its last convicted crook.
It appears Larry Summers has gone to sleep within the rich offices of his Mutual Fund.
OR:
The publishers cannot shoot nude photos of undergraduates in campus buildings because of "liability issues."
Translation: If it weren't for greedy lawyers college kids could do exactly as they pleased.
OR:
The publishers cannot shoot nude photos of undergraduates in campus buildings because of "liability issues."
Translation: If it weren't for greedy lawyers college kids could do exactly as they pleased.
The Quack Healer's Monitor makes me wish its site would go subscription with this thumbsucker on press coverage in Iraq.
OR:
While some experts say the US media was far too sycophantic in their [sic] coverage of the Bush administration's positions on Iraq, and issues like WMD, others say foreign media sometimes went too far in the other direction, and created an us versus them relationship in their coverage.
Translation: Our guys could stick it, but their guys could REALLY stick it.
OR:
While some experts say the US media was far too sycophantic in their [sic] coverage of the Bush administration's positions on Iraq, and issues like WMD, others say foreign media sometimes went too far in the other direction, and created an us versus them relationship in their coverage.
Translation: Our guys could stick it, but their guys could REALLY stick it.
WACKO faces -- BANKRUPTCY!
Can a man with his own railroad station face anything else?
But he can always get help at Title Loan of America, pffh-hh-hh.
Can a man with his own railroad station face anything else?
But he can always get help at Title Loan of America, pffh-hh-hh.
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
It appears that Commish Tagliafool is as good at public posturing as any Congresspoop. And while he is justified in stiffing ViaCON Music Channel's fee, we should recall he stiffed DC's transit authority out of a few grand when THE LEAGUE produced Mrs. Slut's show on the Mall, a stunt every bit as offensive as SUMNER'S. The only good thing is the yucky sensation in the mouth will extend to next year's SUPER BORE, and I doubt if the "entertainment" will be that much different.
Is there any doubt this is just a mammoth ego trip? Roberts pere et fils will probably spin off the little matter of EisnerCorp's theme parks, though they deny it. By the time these two frauds are through with their wheeling and dealing they'll have cost their shareholders tens of billions and raised cable rates to $400 a month, and still they won't know why they did it.
Which brings up another question: will the two megalomaniacs stay in the movie biz? At least if they do things right (it's hard to imagine cable tyrants doing things right) they can free EisnerCorp of its cynically-added appurtenances, and it can become plain Disney once again.
Which, in the final analysis, means the fools Roberts pere et fils are buying CapCities all over again.
Which brings up another question: will the two megalomaniacs stay in the movie biz? At least if they do things right (it's hard to imagine cable tyrants doing things right) they can free EisnerCorp of its cynically-added appurtenances, and it can become plain Disney once again.
Which, in the final analysis, means the fools Roberts pere et fils are buying CapCities all over again.
The hard-core conservatives are surely excited because a GE Bancorp Network News man says the outfit is biased, and he got fired for it. The problem is, no matter how many people complain about the bias, no matter how justified they are in complaining about it, no matter how many millions of bloggers spring up to save society, the news biz will STILL BE THERE, churning out its spin, spewing out its sell.
Though some may try to will it, the story of 9/11 never seems to go entirely away. There are still ruins, and there are still buildings to be built, which are being built too slowly.
What Happens to Clark's Delegates?
Gooooooooood question! I say, give 'em to the candidate who dissembles as much as he did, and that can only be one man:
DIPPITY-DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Gooooooooood question! I say, give 'em to the candidate who dissembles as much as he did, and that can only be one man:
DIPPITY-DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
No mention of it on the main page of Comcast's Web site -- and the investor relations page still has Comcast's pre-merger stock quote. We'll wait until we sock it to the rate payers without notice.
Let's see...the biggest story of the day, and natch, PROF hasn't mentioned it (he's thinking whether the talk of Kerry's "electability" made him electable, or why we shouldn't stop the production of gray goo, or whether fuzz grows in his navel, or something), BUZZ NEWHOUSE hasn't mentioned it (even though what's good for Time Warner is good for America; he must be listening to his dear buddy Howard Stern's Greatest Hits -- or maybe his new buddy Howard Dean's), ANDY S. of course won't mention it (unless Roberts pere et fils get married), lgf won't mention it (Yassir doesn't run Comcast), PROF's co-productions won't mention it -- what's the point of blogging when you're deaf, dumb and blind to the BIGGEST STORY OF THE DAY? And a multi-faceted one at that: this is a FREE SPEECH issue, a CULTURE WARS issue, a BIG BUSINESS issue, a POCKETBOOK issue, and you've shut yourselves into that HERMETICALLY-SEALED BOX in which you TYPE 15,000 WORDS on JUSTICE SCALIA'S ETHICS, or 20,000 WORDS PARSING COLIN'S WORDS -- ALL THE LIVELONG DAY, EVERY LIVELONG DAY.
P. S. to you FORBES 400 BLOGGERS: Today at work I heard people complain Comcast's ego trip will cause their cable bills to go up. You can talk about electability and Howard Stern and FMA and Palestinian child abuse until you're blue in your fonts, but YOU CLOWNS ARE GETTING TO BE EVERY BIT AS INSULAR AS THE SEVEN-DIGIT NEWS HACKS!
P. S. to you FORBES 400 BLOGGERS: Today at work I heard people complain Comcast's ego trip will cause their cable bills to go up. You can talk about electability and Howard Stern and FMA and Palestinian child abuse until you're blue in your fonts, but YOU CLOWNS ARE GETTING TO BE EVERY BIT AS INSULAR AS THE SEVEN-DIGIT NEWS HACKS!
Of course the sales...er, ANALYST Jessica "Rife" Reif Cohen LUUUUUUUUUUUVES it. But you have to wonder when RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! doesn't want it.
SOCIALISTS FINE SPEEDER $217,000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I guess they had a Larry Kudlow moment.
I guess they had a Larry Kudlow moment.
KERRY ARRESTED AFTER PROTEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is it me or is Dip starting to look like Elvis in these old photos?
MICKEYMOUSE NIXON IS MORTAL?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Naw, NAW, this MUST be a ruse. MICK! Show them your cryonic chamber!
Naw, NAW, this MUST be a ruse. MICK! Show them your cryonic chamber!
I guess this is as good an idea as anything else, but talk about your genie and your bottle; you wonder if enough nuke fuel is out there for the bad guys to overcome any obstacle.
If this is true -- and this is DAVID HOROWITZ!!!!!!!!!' FRONTPAGE MAGAZINE!!!!!!!!!! -- we have a fifth column in the FBI. I'm not surprised. Up is down, left is right, right is wrong among the Fumblers, Bumblers and Incompetents. And we must keep the people happy.
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
"FREE SPEECH IS EITHER FREE OR IT IS NOT!!!!! VIEWERS ARE FREE TO USE THEIR REMOTE OR TIVO!!!!!!!!!! PARENTS ARE RESPONSIBLE OR THEY ARE NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Sorry Frank, those weren't parents "performing" at the Super Bore.
Sorry Frank, those weren't parents "performing" at the Super Bore.
Howard Stern said....
Hey BUZZ! You always mention your buddy-buddy HOWARD! Have you thought of running your savior's Web site? Here's what it looks like now. Why not e-mail America's Hero and suggest he start a BLOG? If we're going to always get HOWARD's insights let's at least get them from the SOURCE.
Hey BUZZ! You always mention your buddy-buddy HOWARD! Have you thought of running your savior's Web site? Here's what it looks like now. Why not e-mail America's Hero and suggest he start a BLOG? If we're going to always get HOWARD's insights let's at least get them from the SOURCE.
I see my successful blog posts are now brought to me by MASTERCARD®.
$1 TRILLION FOR GOOGLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
$1 TRILLION FOR GOOGLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What annoys me is that when people like DAVID HOROWITZ!!!!!!!!!! cite the lack of political diversity among the college eggheads they always cite the looney soft sciences -- never the hard sciences, and NEVER the business and accounting departments, which combined claim a good bit of college faculties and enrollments. Take them into account and I suspect while it's still bad it's not quite that bad.
What's there to study about Canadians? They're all ultra-PC hockey fans who guzzle Molson's and speak of OH-fense and punctuate their sentences with EH?
Before we scream LIBERAL BIAS, let us remember, this guy is Vice-President in Hiding and he does seem a little ticked at having been plucked from his true calling: making zillions by calling folks in GOVMENT.
JESUS II sees a new Internet bubble.
Betwen this and his new love of movies I'm almost starting to like the guy.
Betwen this and his new love of movies I'm almost starting to like the guy.
Satellite, cable operators get ready to raise rates
Here's ANOTHER instance, BUZZ, of THE MARKETPLACE AT WORK!!!!!
Here's ANOTHER instance, BUZZ, of THE MARKETPLACE AT WORK!!!!!
The RAW POWER of NEWSMAX gets Little Howie Kurtz' weenie friend DON to RECONSIDER his ENDORSEMENT of DIPPITY-DO BOTOX®!!!!!
A plague o' both your houses.
A plague o' both your houses.
How deserving of professional college baseketball that a season that began with a murder should grind to an end with sex -- and with one of the formerly "premier" teams asking not to appear on television because a good chunk of the players suddenly disappeared.
How amusing too that a captain of that same team who led it to an NPCAA playoff is now serving time for dealing crack. WINNING ISN'T EVERYTHING -- IT'S THE ONLY THING!
How amusing too that a captain of that same team who led it to an NPCAA playoff is now serving time for dealing crack. WINNING ISN'T EVERYTHING -- IT'S THE ONLY THING!
Monday, February 09, 2004
In the midst of a huge career selling business videos, John Cleese finds a kinder, gentler God at an INSTITUTE that specializes in "giving some great massages."
ONLY in California.
ONLY in California.
Diana Ross gets two days in jail for DUI
I wish I could think up a nice parody lyric -- you know, something based on "Stop! in the Name of Love" -- but I just can't. Maybe others will.
There's something about Motown that causes folks to misbehave.
I wish I could think up a nice parody lyric -- you know, something based on "Stop! in the Name of Love" -- but I just can't. Maybe others will.
There's something about Motown that causes folks to misbehave.
In their rush to make sure we never escape SUMNER'S STUNT, or MEL'S STUNT, or ANY OTHER STUNT, NEWS HACKS in typical manner BURIED THIS pleasant story, much as they buried Osama and Islamic fundamentalism. The Tales of the Arabian Nights and Baghdad Bob teach us that the Arabs have a proud tradition of tall tales, and perhaps this ran as much to buck up Arab and Muslim morale as anything else; but as the story of the FATHER OF PAKISTAN (or whatever they call him) tells us, a lot of people would sell mankind out in the sake of a "cause."
The same "science" crowd that went from global cooling to global warming and back and forth again, that can't make up its mind how old man and the universe are, now predicts an earthquake in California in September. Remember folks, you SAID it.
Some of my two or three readers a day may remember the old jingle for Lava soap: "L! A! V! A! L! A! V! A!" Now imagine, if you will, if hard-core knee-jerk conservatives ran the news biz:
Such Tinseltown "experts" as Sean Penn, Janeane Garofalo, Danny Glover, Mike Farrell, Richard Dreyfuss, Denzel Washington and Anjelica Huston, some of whom have actually graduated from high school, want murderer Kevin Cooper to be freed or to continue getting taxpayer-supplied room and board, as he has for the past 19 years. Oh, and Jesse Jackson, Noam Chomsky, Angela Davis and International Socialist Organization also want to spare him.
It would be "L! A! V! A!" ALL the friggin' TIME.
P. S. The guy got a stay of execution. HA HA HA!!!!!
Such Tinseltown "experts" as Sean Penn, Janeane Garofalo, Danny Glover, Mike Farrell, Richard Dreyfuss, Denzel Washington and Anjelica Huston, some of whom have actually graduated from high school, want murderer Kevin Cooper to be freed or to continue getting taxpayer-supplied room and board, as he has for the past 19 years. Oh, and Jesse Jackson, Noam Chomsky, Angela Davis and International Socialist Organization also want to spare him.
It would be "L! A! V! A!" ALL the friggin' TIME.
P. S. The guy got a stay of execution. HA HA HA!!!!!
MICKEYMOUSE NIXON HATES SEGWAYS!
This guy has technophobia. First he brushes Pixar aside, now this. Calling Roy Disney! Calling Roy Disney!
This guy has technophobia. First he brushes Pixar aside, now this. Calling Roy Disney! Calling Roy Disney!
“NOONE ‘took:’ custody of my child away from me [....] False allegations were made about crazy s—t for reasons so beyond comprehension and over the line if it does turn into a real war ( not her Custody Thats not at stake) It will be a msassacre of epic proportions- these f-----s were so dumb … they forgot to SHRED THE PAPERS . . .. IT WILL BRING BACK OLD SCHOOL MS MAGAZINE FEMIINISM ON A LEVEL I DONT EVEN WANT TO DEAL WITH- ANDREA DWORKIN MAY BECOME PRESIDENT IT IS SO OFFENSIVE.”
Well look at it this way: she could have done it on the GRAMMIES.
By the way, Scoop -- where's her Web site?
Well look at it this way: she could have done it on the GRAMMIES.
By the way, Scoop -- where's her Web site?
Now Buzz comes through with the earth-shattering notion that NEWS HACKS "over-cover the presidency"!!!!!!!!!!
I notice ever since PSYCHO! agreed with Buzz about the FUNDAMENTALIST PRUDES he's been talking the guy up. Looking for a job in the PSYCHO! Administration? How about press secretary? You were ALWAYS good at DICTATION for ST. GERRY! Pffh-hh-hh!
TWXsters come cheap -- except for the expenses.
I notice ever since PSYCHO! agreed with Buzz about the FUNDAMENTALIST PRUDES he's been talking the guy up. Looking for a job in the PSYCHO! Administration? How about press secretary? You were ALWAYS good at DICTATION for ST. GERRY! Pffh-hh-hh!
TWXsters come cheap -- except for the expenses.
Another @#$%&* nuisance -- AN X-10 POP-UP THAT BEEPS!!!!!!!!!!
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How fitting: Ronald Reagan's alma mater is CUTTING tuition. I'd like to see Harvard Mutual Fund's educational operations do that. FAT CHANCE.
Dippity-Do Botox® sure is legalistic when it comes to HIS money.
Why didn't he just get Mrs. Ketchup to fork over the dough and be done with it?
Why didn't he just get Mrs. Ketchup to fork over the dough and be done with it?
$LEAZEBALL GUMBO occupies "a murky area for ethics." This is news? He comes from the bogs, and he works in the bogs.
Well, there are other whores in the brothel on the hill from whence that one came.
Well, there are other whores in the brothel on the hill from whence that one came.
These people have a right to be somber: their sales are down, they're churning out crummy product, and they just got walloped because two of their fratenity got caught for sticking their fingers in the public eye. Any more reasons?
Better luck next year.
Better luck next year.
Sunday, February 08, 2004
In rare INTELLIGENT commentary on SUMNER'S STUNT -- rarer still as it comes from the big TRIBUNE news-and-entertainment oligopoly -- a writer suggests that the only way to insure some fairness on the censorship front is to put broadcast and cable in the same boat. There's no other way. And given that the same companies are in broadcast and cable anyhow, it ought to be doable -- provided we don't get the usual outpouring of lobbying and fake First Amendment pleadings. That Lowsy and CHEAP CHANNEL are leading the charge (or at least putting out press releases) means these clowns have every reason to be afraid. Nor will anything work until we look into the SECRET formula for JACK's ALPHABET SOUP. This must be coordinated, or not done at all.
I'm not impressed, PROF. Howie's merely doing to Dippity-Do Botox® what Michael Moore does to Dubya. It won't stick, because both men have had it good. Maybe Dip's had it better, but it's a matter of degree, not kind.
I don't want to make too much fun of this stunt, because it was well-meaning, but I don't think too many NEWS HACKS have to worry about living on minimum wage.
The difference between those who advocate censoring things like SUMNER'S STUNT and those who advocate shutting down those university "bake sales" is that the latter want to censor political speech. Let's face it: some limited censorship is desirable, even necessary; the question is, can it be done with a modicum of common sense? We should be able to find some shared ground even though every person has his own favorite censorship. One thing is clear: in retrospect, ViaCON Network looks REALLY DUMB for having declined MoveOn.org's ad.
One celebrated humorist, Richard "ADVERTISEMENT" Corliss, pays tribute to another, S. J. Perelman. The two have this much in common: they're not funny.
Mr. Mark and his PR boys think it'll sell, and I'm not going to go against the keeper of the Zeitgeist. But honest Mark, If I've said it once I've said it a million times, what NEWS HACKS don't spin, they sell, and I hate being sold even more than I hate being spun. And this story is both.
Here's betting this is the slowest moving BLUNDER of the year -- until they get to some more "service" features.
I'm waiting for Chuck Krauthammer's rave review. Yeeeeeeeeeech!
Here's betting this is the slowest moving BLUNDER of the year -- until they get to some more "service" features.
I'm waiting for Chuck Krauthammer's rave review. Yeeeeeeeeeech!
Now Buzz T. Newhouse decides political reporting is worthless. That's the problem with bloggers -- they hammer on the obvious until it cries, UNCLE!