THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
Blogroll Me!
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Saturday, August 18, 2007
"We've got to have a president in the White House who sets bold targets and sets broad goals and isn't intimidated by the barriers and the roadblocks and isn't driven by those who already have an investment in the status quo — somebody who can overcome the lobby-driven, divisive politics that characterizes this issue," Obama told about 300 people.
TRANSLATION: JFK LINCOLN hasn't the foggiest idea what to do about our energy mess -- and no more than Dubya does, but he can talk a good Second Inaugural.
TRANSLATION: JFK LINCOLN hasn't the foggiest idea what to do about our energy mess -- and no more than Dubya does, but he can talk a good Second Inaugural.
Do the clerks at your nearby CVSWalgreenRongAid spend far more time talking among themselves than paying attention to their customers?
Ugly new buildings are going up in Khartoum too.
St. Warren and the Chinese deke out the forces of right.
St. Warren and the Chinese deke out the forces of right.
Friday, August 17, 2007
Any doubts that Thompson will soon enter the race were erased the moment he cuddled a baby pig and gawked at a cow carved out of butter.
Yep, Law-'n'-Order's running. Pfffffffffffffffft!
Yep, Law-'n'-Order's running. Pfffffffffffffffft!
As it happens, my last day on Swampland will be my last day as president of People For the American Way. I’m stepping down after eight years to become President Emeritus. You can read my announcement here.
Shucks Ralph, what will day care centers all over America do?
Shucks Ralph, what will day care centers all over America do?
Oh DEAR, Michael Wolff wrote a -- "book proposal" -- in VANITY FAIR?!?
Heavens! I think he just lost his virginity.
(Via the always credulous Romy)
Heavens! I think he just lost his virginity.
(Via the always credulous Romy)
In America, we have our own politics of fools.
It appears, Jo-NAH, you've painted a big black-and-white bull's-eye on your behind.
It appears, Jo-NAH, you've painted a big black-and-white bull's-eye on your behind.
And now, of course, the Wall Street casino is having second thoughts about whether it should have shot up five percent in two days.
Why is it good news for stocks to go up five percent in two days?
You the best man, Anonymous?
That goes without saying.
ER must get these folk to interact; they'd be funnier than The Corner. Unfortunately, they're fiefdoms.
That goes without saying.
ER must get these folk to interact; they'd be funnier than The Corner. Unfortunately, they're fiefdoms.
If people walked as much as dogs do there'd be no obesity.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
"You never know how long a standard will last," he said. "But it was a solid, good standard and still is."
With hundreds upon hundreds of them in our collection, we must agree with Pieter Kramer, head of the Philips unit that invented the CD -- it is a solid, good standard.
iPhone presents a "steep learning curve" to businesspoops!
1. Wait a second. Does the iPhone need instructions? Does anything The Lord God Steve wills from his protean brain need instructions? You're just too stupid to use it! 2. Of course it has a steep learning curve. Businesspoops have a steep learning curve.
1. Wait a second. Does the iPhone need instructions? Does anything The Lord God Steve wills from his protean brain need instructions? You're just too stupid to use it! 2. Of course it has a steep learning curve. Businesspoops have a steep learning curve.
Sen. TUBES says a local paper's trying to "ASSASSINATE" him!
You've done a pretty good job aiming that mouth at your own foot, TUBES. You aiming higher?
You've created me as the senator-for-life!!!!!!!!!! [Overemphasis added]
I don't think the hacks built that Frankenstein monster, TUBES.
You've done a pretty good job aiming that mouth at your own foot, TUBES. You aiming higher?
You've created me as the senator-for-life!!!!!!!!!! [Overemphasis added]
I don't think the hacks built that Frankenstein monster, TUBES.
And in Little Malcolm's neighborhood on E!:
Who needs celebrities to put on a celebrity-driven talk show? Not Chelsea Handler, whose producers must spend all day surfing gossip blogs and looking at viral video so this husky-voiced comedienne and her three F-list panelists of the day can spend eight or so minutes chatting about the latest Hollywood weirdness. Roseanne Barr urinating? Blogging while drunk? Britney Spears' latest "uh-oh"? All get their moments in the spotlight on "Chelsea Lately" in a freewheeling roundup that breezily moves from topic to topic to topic. You have time to catch your breath only when the show breaks for a few words from the sponsors.
Who are "Hotels.com, Cold Stone Creamery, Nike, Subway and Suave"!
Where's P'n'G and the Clunker Brothers?
Who needs celebrities to put on a celebrity-driven talk show? Not Chelsea Handler, whose producers must spend all day surfing gossip blogs and looking at viral video so this husky-voiced comedienne and her three F-list panelists of the day can spend eight or so minutes chatting about the latest Hollywood weirdness. Roseanne Barr urinating? Blogging while drunk? Britney Spears' latest "uh-oh"? All get their moments in the spotlight on "Chelsea Lately" in a freewheeling roundup that breezily moves from topic to topic to topic. You have time to catch your breath only when the show breaks for a few words from the sponsors.
Who are "Hotels.com, Cold Stone Creamery, Nike, Subway and Suave"!
Where's P'n'G and the Clunker Brothers?
More eksullents in the book biz:
Harper Entertainment To Publish Victoria Beckham's Style Guide in U.S.
Harper Entertainment To Publish Victoria Beckham's Style Guide in U.S.
ST. WARREN ♥ JFK LINCOLN!
"I think his stock in Nebraska goes up from here," said Omaha businessman Harley Schrager, who co-hosted the event with Buffett and others.
SOMEBODY's stock better go up, Your Sainthood.
"I think his stock in Nebraska goes up from here," said Omaha businessman Harley Schrager, who co-hosted the event with Buffett and others.
SOMEBODY's stock better go up, Your Sainthood.
Oops: The chief cheerleader -- er, executive editor of the Seattle YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! -- er, TIMES sticks his foot deeper in his mouth:
But if we allowed our news meetings to evolve into a liberal latte klatch, I have no doubt that a pathological case of group-think would soon set in.
WOULD?!?
But if we allowed our news meetings to evolve into a liberal latte klatch, I have no doubt that a pathological case of group-think would soon set in.
WOULD?!?
Yet another big mortgage company is in trouble -- and here's a reassuring thought:
Homeowners who make their monthly mortgage payments to Countrywide should not be affected by the company's troubles, experts said.
However, the turmoil could spook depositors at Countrywide Bank, an Alexandria, Va.-based savings and loan that has grown dramatically since Countrywide Financial bought it in 2000. Nearly 40% of the bank's $57.7 billion in deposits were not insured by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. as of March 31, according to the FDIC website.
How far does the rot extend?
Homeowners who make their monthly mortgage payments to Countrywide should not be affected by the company's troubles, experts said.
However, the turmoil could spook depositors at Countrywide Bank, an Alexandria, Va.-based savings and loan that has grown dramatically since Countrywide Financial bought it in 2000. Nearly 40% of the bank's $57.7 billion in deposits were not insured by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. as of March 31, according to the FDIC website.
How far does the rot extend?
And speaking of Forbeslist, its tone-deaf proprietor takes a sudden interest in things [C]RAP, creating yet ANOTHER list -- and we think we know why:
Forbes and E! Entertainment teamed up for a one-hour special about the list, which will premiere on Saturday, Aug. 18, at 6 p.m. ET. The E! special features exclusive interviews with Big Boi, Lil Jon, T.I., Swizz Beats and Scott Storch. Check your local listings. [LAST GRAF]
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO LITTLE MALC!
Forbes and E! Entertainment teamed up for a one-hour special about the list, which will premiere on Saturday, Aug. 18, at 6 p.m. ET. The E! special features exclusive interviews with Big Boi, Lil Jon, T.I., Swizz Beats and Scott Storch. Check your local listings. [LAST GRAF]
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO LITTLE MALC!
Elsewhere in CloudCuckooLand, Mr. My Business is My Business daydreams of a time when men like the Great Big Financier with the Great Big Sexy Carbuncled Nose could singlehandedly cure America's economic problems at four in the morning, conveniently neglecting that 1907 was toward the tag end of Teddy's run -- you know, the communist who uttered that obscenity about "malefactors of great wealth." A certain con-SER-va-tive's idea of a hero is the Jay Gould and Jim Fisk (or KennyBoy, or Rigas) who can get away with anything, presumably because said con-SER-va-tive would be lucky enough to be in his inner circle, making millions like Mr. My Business, writing with quill pens and smoking big fat cigars, maybe 20 of them, or whatever effete snobs smoke. His idea of a great leader is Andrew Mellon, who happily did nothing during his term in office -- indeed he did so much of nothing that he left the job in 1932 with nearly every fourth person unemployed and his reputation in tatters. Ah, but we must NEVER let government solve ANY problem, must we, Mr. My Business!
P. S.
"Liquidate labor, liquidate stocks, liquidate the farmers, liquidate real estate. Purge the rottenness of the system. High costs of living and high living will come down. People will work harder, live a more normal life. Values will be adjusted, and enterprising people will pick up the wrecks from less competent people."
Good idea, Biz. Shall we try it again?
P. S.
"Liquidate labor, liquidate stocks, liquidate the farmers, liquidate real estate. Purge the rottenness of the system. High costs of living and high living will come down. People will work harder, live a more normal life. Values will be adjusted, and enterprising people will pick up the wrecks from less competent people."
Good idea, Biz. Shall we try it again?
A seventy-something or eighty-something colyumnist pines and sighs for Drunken Slob, his mornings being empty without the cheap insults and expensive male sluts, and so he begins a one-man letter writing campaign to get him back on the air, begging, pleading to hear about nappy-headed -- well, things people don't ordinarily say in polite conversation, even going so far to admit that a HIP! HOT! rag likened his hero to a cockroach.
Look guy, if you want a job with Slob, just print the resume in Forbeslist. We're sure Little Malcolm would extend you this favor. Heck He gave you this platform, didn't He? Although come to think of it that's what you did.
I do believe we have a contender for the worst column to run in recent memory, even though it isn't an op-ed.
Look guy, if you want a job with Slob, just print the resume in Forbeslist. We're sure Little Malcolm would extend you this favor. Heck He gave you this platform, didn't He? Although come to think of it that's what you did.
I do believe we have a contender for the worst column to run in recent memory, even though it isn't an op-ed.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
The world's in a huge disconnect. North Korea starves its people; we'll give them nukes and food for the army. Zimbabwe is run by a senile tyrant who starves his people; the world digs a hole and buries itself. Fidel Jr.'s rigging his nation's machinery to pound his fist for life; okay by us. If this is the best our international relations savants can do what then for the worst?
Little Malcolm tries very hard for what we think is ironic humor:
India Has The Brains, But Where's The Beef?
Answer: on all the sacred cows. You're very smart, Little Malcolm.
And we still don't get it.
India Has The Brains, But Where's The Beef?
Answer: on all the sacred cows. You're very smart, Little Malcolm.
And we still don't get it.
RASPUTIN!!!!! lets loose with his woes to PILLHEAD at the bar:
If you have to wake up in the morning to be validated by the editorial page of the New York Times, you got a pretty sorry existence.
I think we can say the same to those conservatives who live to be validated by PILLHEAD. Or those politicans who live to be validated by Drunken Slob. Or those...get my drift?
If you have to wake up in the morning to be validated by the editorial page of the New York Times, you got a pretty sorry existence.
I think we can say the same to those conservatives who live to be validated by PILLHEAD. Or those politicans who live to be validated by Drunken Slob. Or those...get my drift?
A new insult heaved into the face of the Kingdom of Steve:
How many trees did your iPhone bill kill?
Elsewhere:
To summarize: the iPhone is expensive and fails miserably at its primary function of making telephone calls, but other than that it's really great. Sign me up!
How many trees did your iPhone bill kill?
Elsewhere:
To summarize: the iPhone is expensive and fails miserably at its primary function of making telephone calls, but other than that it's really great. Sign me up!
AH, the noble righteousness of Code Pink, a group of true believers that can call people "little Nazis" and make them cry. Alas, all the marching and chanting in the halls of Congress has not brought this IGNOBLE, UNJUST WAR any closer to our retr -- an end. Maybe we ought to call people child molesters instead.
Onward and, uh, upward with Noo Yawk's City Council:
Council Seeks New Ban on Smoking by Parents in Cars
And how do we propose to ban it, o wise City Council? By having monitors on every street? By having special electronic sniffers that can detect the presence of parent, child and cigarette in a car?
And of course Honorary Mayor Mike WILL sign the bill. Maybe the City Council would be better off passing a law banning egregious use of helicopters by superrich pretend mayors.
Council Seeks New Ban on Smoking by Parents in Cars
And how do we propose to ban it, o wise City Council? By having monitors on every street? By having special electronic sniffers that can detect the presence of parent, child and cigarette in a car?
And of course Honorary Mayor Mike WILL sign the bill. Maybe the City Council would be better off passing a law banning egregious use of helicopters by superrich pretend mayors.
And in further goings-on in the objective, impartial and unbiased news biz:
Rove news prompts some cheering in Seattle Times newsroom (Usual Romy link)
It sounds like a conservative's parody of how a news meeting would be run.
Hey, isn't that every day in the crusading news biz?
Menatime we are sorry to learn The Paper of Re-CORD's first home is being torn down, which is rather like paving over Jesus's birthplace, or at least tearing down Independence Hall. Doncha think?
(Via several of the usual media sites)
Rove news prompts some cheering in Seattle Times newsroom (Usual Romy link)
It sounds like a conservative's parody of how a news meeting would be run.
Hey, isn't that every day in the crusading news biz?
Menatime we are sorry to learn The Paper of Re-CORD's first home is being torn down, which is rather like paving over Jesus's birthplace, or at least tearing down Independence Hall. Doncha think?
(Via several of the usual media sites)
Fulmination of the Day, at SLIME's latest imperial conquest:
So did Mr. Rove give the scoop to The Journal’s editorial page with an embargo not to leak it to the other side of the editorial/ news divide?
Of course he did. Among his many supernatural powers Rasputin clearly knows the CON-SER-VA-TIVE EDITION can't stand the LIBERAL EDITION's guts (or rather gutlessness), and vice-versa -- and he played to that mutual ignorance. The effete snobs blew a fuse over SLIME's deal in part because they were afraid the former would now enjoy precedence over the latter. It's all one to us: the CON-SER-VA-TIVE EDITION believes in Gordon Gekko at all costs, and the LIBERAL EDITION believes in PC mush at all costs.
So did Mr. Rove give the scoop to The Journal’s editorial page with an embargo not to leak it to the other side of the editorial/ news divide?
Of course he did. Among his many supernatural powers Rasputin clearly knows the CON-SER-VA-TIVE EDITION can't stand the LIBERAL EDITION's guts (or rather gutlessness), and vice-versa -- and he played to that mutual ignorance. The effete snobs blew a fuse over SLIME's deal in part because they were afraid the former would now enjoy precedence over the latter. It's all one to us: the CON-SER-VA-TIVE EDITION believes in Gordon Gekko at all costs, and the LIBERAL EDITION believes in PC mush at all costs.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
What can be sadder than to have been one of America's most powerful men for eight years, possessing a might you never dreamed (or deserved) to get, and then have history and common sense pass you by, and be stuck in the back of the back benches, an uncomfortable reminder to you and others of who you were?
Denny's retirement comes six years too late.
Democrats said Hastert's decision will make it more difficult for Republicans to hold his congressional seat.
"ANY REPUBLICAN RUNNING WILL HAVE TO ANSWER FOR THEIR PARTY'S FAILURE TO BE NOTHING MORE THAN A RUBBER STAMP FOR GEORGE BUSH'S ENDLESS WAR IN IRAQ AND HIS IRRESPONSIBLE FISCAL POLICIES!!!!!!!!!!", said Doug Thornell, spokesman for the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee. [Righteous overemphasis added]
Oh, shut up. There are enough Beltway interns.
Denny's retirement comes six years too late.
Democrats said Hastert's decision will make it more difficult for Republicans to hold his congressional seat.
"ANY REPUBLICAN RUNNING WILL HAVE TO ANSWER FOR THEIR PARTY'S FAILURE TO BE NOTHING MORE THAN A RUBBER STAMP FOR GEORGE BUSH'S ENDLESS WAR IN IRAQ AND HIS IRRESPONSIBLE FISCAL POLICIES!!!!!!!!!!", said Doug Thornell, spokesman for the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee. [Righteous overemphasis added]
Oh, shut up. There are enough Beltway interns.
Meanwhile, north of the border, the PM does some furious reshuffling of his cabinet on account of Afghanistan, and...
A poll by the Strategic Counsel for The Globe and Mail and CTV released last month found the Tories have support of 31 per cent of the electorate — tied with the Liberals and down from 37 per cent a year ago — with the Afghan mission weighing heavily on the numbers.
The poll found 46 per cent of men support sending troops to Afghanistan, but only 27 per cent of women.
The Conservatives know that to win a majority government they will have to attract more female voters.
Let me guess: outoutOUTOUTOUT!!!!!
Let's see how conservative the PM is next year.
A poll by the Strategic Counsel for The Globe and Mail and CTV released last month found the Tories have support of 31 per cent of the electorate — tied with the Liberals and down from 37 per cent a year ago — with the Afghan mission weighing heavily on the numbers.
The poll found 46 per cent of men support sending troops to Afghanistan, but only 27 per cent of women.
The Conservatives know that to win a majority government they will have to attract more female voters.
Let me guess: outoutOUTOUTOUT!!!!!
Let's see how conservative the PM is next year.
Speaking of idiots, the other day we mentioned this new fad of consumer-products companies spinning off brands because they'd grown too big solely to finance junk television. But with all the brands being bandied or prepared for spinoff -- Folgers, Maxwell House, Pringles, Duracell, Post, Unilever's U. S. laundry brands, Godiva chocolates -- one (say, a three-headed dog) could form a new P&G or Unilever which could gouge as much as before, and all to finance junk TV as much as before. Plus ça change....
Robert, the TV ad-blurbist of USAOKAY!!!!!, again assumes a Thinker's pose to question why the hordes are fleeing summer television. "Too many of the same shows!" he says. "Too many shows, period! No HBO! [This is bad news?] No broadcast hits! Many of the things we call cable 'hits' really aren't! Too many regular-season leftovers! Too many shows that should have just been left out!" Yep, things are looking good -- bad -- but right below the link on OKAY!!!!!'s home page is this long awaited bit of scintillation:
'Today' to add fourth hour next month
We'd say TV's in terminal condition but there's nothing a good dose of OUR ill-gotten money from deaf, dumb and blind ADVERTISERS can't cure.
'Today' to add fourth hour next month
We'd say TV's in terminal condition but there's nothing a good dose of OUR ill-gotten money from deaf, dumb and blind ADVERTISERS can't cure.
Okay, let's lower the drinking age to 18 -- and raise the driving age to 18 too.
As if this will make a warm gob of spit's worth of difference. Kids will always get drunk just to get drunk.
As if this will make a warm gob of spit's worth of difference. Kids will always get drunk just to get drunk.
Among the most woeful examples of conservatives denied their chance at the White House,
[p]erhaps the most heartbreaking case is Jack Kemp, the man David Frum once described as the James Blaine of the 20th century.
As in "Continental liar from the state of Maine"? Friend of Catholics? Do these guys read history? Do they read?
[p]erhaps the most heartbreaking case is Jack Kemp, the man David Frum once described as the James Blaine of the 20th century.
As in "Continental liar from the state of Maine"? Friend of Catholics? Do these guys read history? Do they read?
What sort of clown checks his e-mail 35 or 40 times an hour?
The same sort of clown who checks Site Meter 35 to 40 times an hour.
The same sort of clown who checks Site Meter 35 to 40 times an hour.
The question is no longer whether Michael Vick's guilty of being a dogfighting impresario. The question is now how guilty.
Here's betting he barely avoids jail.
(Via ESPN.com)
Here's betting he barely avoids jail.
(Via ESPN.com)
Rove Legacy Laden With Protégés
No! NO!! There are RASPUTINS all over the place! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL is underfoot EVERYWHERE!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
No! NO!! There are RASPUTINS all over the place! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL is underfoot EVERYWHERE!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Speaking of mouths, Drunken Slob has settled with SUMNER and is about to attempt a comeback, meaning he can bring back all those pretentious bloviators like Jeff "MENSA" Greenfield and Howie Hairshirt and Boobs McKeating and Sen. Morals and the high-mucky-mucks at Zeitgeist. Indeed what's so objectionable about the thought of his coming back is not him, lout though he is, but his capering fawning sycophants, every last one of whom will act as though the nappy-headed hos never existed. Certainly their brains don't.
We are sorry to hear Phil Rizzuto has died. I suppose the Yankee fans can talk of his shortstop genius but most of us are familiar with his Hall of Fame mouth. He, Yogi and Casey must have had some brilliant conversations together. But then baseball used to be about characters (before it became all about dollars and ZELIG SELIG), and Scooter was one of the most, and the greatest.
"I never thought I deserved to be in the Hall of Fame," Rizzuto would say. "The Hall of Fame is for the big guys, pitchers with 100 mph fastballs and hitters who sock homers and drive in a lot of runs. That's the way it always has been and the way it should be."
You deserved it, pal, you deserved it.
Yahoo Just Beats Out Google in Customer Satisfaction
How in God's name do you measure that?
Sounds like another university's generating another press release.
(Actually, they've been "surveying" this since 2002. That's a lot of press releases.)
(Via IWantMedia)
How in God's name do you measure that?
Sounds like another university's generating another press release.
(Actually, they've been "surveying" this since 2002. That's a lot of press releases.)
(Via IWantMedia)
YouTube wants to depose Stephen Colbert, Jon Stewart
Good luck -- especially if they show up in character.
(Via MediaBistro)
Good luck -- especially if they show up in character.
(Via MediaBistro)
Monday, August 13, 2007
It does seem apt that we learn of Rom's big wealth the day the socialite and philanthropist Brooke Astor died, but what the connection is otherwise we haven't a clue, except that Mrs. Astor gave her money away for good causes, and Rom will give it away to make broadcasters richer.
Manuel Noriega? He's still alive?
And fighting expedition, figures.
Well, he's lucky: he didn't face an Iraqi hangman.
And fighting expedition, figures.
Well, he's lucky: he didn't face an Iraqi hangman.
AP NEWS ALERT!!!!!
WASHINGTON (AP) -- The Federal Reserve reports that a significant portion of the nation's banks have tightened lending standards on subprime and nontraditional mortgages.
Aren't you glad you knew!
WASHINGTON (AP) -- The Federal Reserve reports that a significant portion of the nation's banks have tightened lending standards on subprime and nontraditional mortgages.
Aren't you glad you knew!
One wonders if a few of ZEITGEIST's coffee tables let the customer-service reps have it about the famous GLOBAL WARMING issue (ah, how nice to be in a luxury news suite, far away from the complaining rabble), prompting JonBoy, no doubt a master politician like most newsrag editors, to commission Mr. Samuelson to issue a mea culpa. It's bad enough to stomp the feet; worse is to then put forth a showy contrition after the fact, which makes your readers believe you can't be trusted on ANY topic, from ANY angle. But that's news hacks.
(Via NewsMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, which is impossible in its own way)
(Via NewsMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, which is impossible in its own way)
Here's something else for news hacks to spin: disapproval of the hacks is far less among its true target audience (i.e., Democrats). So that means we must be doing a pretty good job, that FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!News and other EEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL biased organizations have made enemies out of Republicans. But then who needs them so long as we have our target audience?
Of course it might also say that our biases appeal to Democrats. We suspect if the news hacks were predominantly conservative a mere reversal of the result would obtain. QED.
Of course it might also say that our biases appeal to Democrats. We suspect if the news hacks were predominantly conservative a mere reversal of the result would obtain. QED.
There are fewer blacks in $ELIGI$M because 1. The money's better in football and basketball; 2. So's the sex appeal; 3. Most ghetto youth can't afford $100 for the top row of the upper deck; 4. What has the GRAND POOBAH of the sport formerly known as baseball done to market the sport except to sell it to gullible city councils and cable operators?
HEF, LIBERATOR of MANKIND, refuses to support a FELLOW LIBERATOR as he "ROTS" IN JAIL!
Just think Hef - it could have happened to YOU.
Just think Hef - it could have happened to YOU.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
“Do not hesitate to use your firearm, not even when the border is breached in the company of women and children, which is a tactic the traitors have often used.”
Shucks, I guess commies were like that.
Shucks, I guess commies were like that.
I wonder if the hacks and the hack pols don't make too much of Hillary's unfavorables. A lot of it may be her, but a lot of it too is Slick and the vague notion of the co-presidency he gave us in '92. Certainly Slick will be dancing around the Oval Office if she's elected; he's probably already measured the puppet strings. But for that very heavy baggage Hillary could present herself as a strong-woman candidate, a sort of Maggie Thatcher for the states, if we could be sure what exactly she stands for, aside from naked ambition.
We are sorry to learn Merv Griffin has died. We cannot help imagining the man without thinking he had a good dose of the fool to him: the man who pioneered French-kissing on the screen, who seemed to laugh at anything and everything the guests on his talk show said, the inventor of those two geek games par excellence, Jeopardy! and Wheel of Fortune, the very man almost a self-caricature -- say that about him, but the man had a lot of fun in his life, a real gusto, and he communicated it almost (as the cliché goes) infectiously, and he got very rich as a result, and we're much poorer without people like that.
He reminds us too we still miss Arthur Treacher. Heck we miss Mort Lindsey.
P. S. at 5:50 p.m. Pat Sajak has it down exactly right. (Via MS. TRAVERS, oh well)
Yet another cinematic immortality swoons Friday-to-Saturday. We've counted four or five thus far this summer. It's precisely why the PR over "records" is so preposterous: the popcorn restaurants' clientele is only so big and few outsiders are fools enough to want to beat their heads against a movie screen. And even the hard-core stupids are coming to realize movies aren't getting any better. But this will not stop PAUL DRECK from acquiring more fans in the luxury news suites.
(Paul Dreck link via Nell Minow)
(Paul Dreck link via Nell Minow)
One reason the cities went into hopeless decline is that after the businessmen and the JE$$Es conspired to bring them down a few Pointy-Haired Bosses thought they'd build them back up depositing refrigerators in their downtowns, which only made them that much more depressing. This, of course, is the Brutalist school of architecture. The Sears Tower defines it: "a big, hulking building with stone and steel inside. There's no wood or carpet for warmth." And since 9/11 it's had trouble finding tenants because it's such an upraised thumb in the sky. Buildings like this are a vertical version of sprawl. And architects haven't the foggiest idea of what to do for cities now, other than the practical jokes rising in Dubai and Beijing.
Ruth's extraordinary sexual appetite was in sharp contrast with that of his teammate Lou Gehrig. "Ill at ease in the company of women, viewed as a virgin by reporters and teammates, the young Gehrig spent as many nights as possible with his parents," Frommer writes.
Pardon our squeamishness, but Lou doesn't look so bad right now.
Pardon our squeamishness, but Lou doesn't look so bad right now.
OooooOOOOOoooooh, so SAM LITTLE's favorite Web site started a panic in New York because "Israeli intelligence" (or maybe some of SAM LITTLE's friends gathered in his den) said the holy cockroaches believed people weren't taking their threats SERIOUSLY enough.
After this why should anyone take DEBKA.COM seriously?
After this why should anyone take DEBKA.COM seriously?
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
Nothin' but a £ dog
Forbes magazine ranks Elvis Presley as the second-highest-earning dead celebrity
We could think of a few choice song titles to describe the typists who compiled this home-page squib. How about "Lazybones"?
Nothin' but a £ dog
Forbes magazine ranks Elvis Presley as the second-highest-earning dead celebrity
We could think of a few choice song titles to describe the typists who compiled this home-page squib. How about "Lazybones"?