THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Saturday, December 01, 2007
it's [SIC] a f****** toy, morons!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Expurgated Raymond Scott Powerhouse overemphasis added]
[W]e’re not as anxious to learn the customs before we go places. It’s just one of the reasons we’re called the ugly Americans. [No WHOOP!-i Goldberg overemphasis needed]
What we have here is not a failure to communicate, but an ability to communicate quite well-- and quite badly, too.
[W]e’re not as anxious to learn the customs before we go places. It’s just one of the reasons we’re called the ugly Americans. [No WHOOP!-i Goldberg overemphasis needed]
What we have here is not a failure to communicate, but an ability to communicate quite well-- and quite badly, too.
"She helped that guy, she can help me!" [Exclamation point added]
Campaign advertising works!
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!
Campaign advertising works!
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!
PREDICTION: After a clever PR campaign involving a united front of MOVIE AD-BLURBISTS, THE CONSPIRACY will turn its masterworks' preservation over to THE GUVMENT, a HUGE taxpayer burden if ever there was one.
And now we have a new chuckle: digital renovations are allegedly wearing out faster than film!
A billion here, a billion there -- this can be one of the first priorities of SEN. MICKEY MOUSE PROTECTION ACT when he gets in the big-money ranks.
And now we have a new chuckle: digital renovations are allegedly wearing out faster than film!
A billion here, a billion there -- this can be one of the first priorities of SEN. MICKEY MOUSE PROTECTION ACT when he gets in the big-money ranks.
Ten years ago he was THE ALL-TIME GENIUS OF COMEDY. Today Mr. Bee Movie is "a dyspeptic, arrogant version of himself" who "made more money navel-gazing than possibly anyone in history. Where he was once funny, he now sounds impossible." News hacks will always have it both ways, and only show foresight from their hind parts.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Roger Smith, the man who made GM into a bloated carcass and helped create a career for one, has died. RIP.
Evel Knievel, the inventor of junk sports and the godfather of "reality" television, has died. If this makes him sound like some sort of moron, it really shouldn't, for Knievel was a stuntman nonpareil, willing to accept broken bones and metal plates in all parts of body to do, and to fail at, his astonishing feats. He wasn't so much to blame that so many media opportunists turned such "sport" into mere spectacle, or television.
Speaking of Horace Greeley, here's a "blog" post we must include here in full:
Right after wrapping up the CNN/YouTube Republican debate last night, Anderson Cooper proudly told viewers that CNN's post-game analysis was "not going to focus on the horse race. Instead, tonight, we're looking at the issues."
It was this relentless focus on the issues that produced comments like these from CNN's panelists:
One other observation. CNN favorite Bill Bennett observed that Mitt Romney had performed as if he were "all in -- as you would say in Texas Hold'em." That's a reference you'd think Mr. Bennett might want to stay away from.
Double PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!! (Although we'd have stayed away from that particular link.)
Right after wrapping up the CNN/YouTube Republican debate last night, Anderson Cooper proudly told viewers that CNN's post-game analysis was "not going to focus on the horse race. Instead, tonight, we're looking at the issues."
It was this relentless focus on the issues that produced comments like these from CNN's panelists:
John King, CNN correspondent: "Another big question, Anderson, we have been waiting and watching over the months of this campaign for the first attack ad, watching TV in Iowa, watching TV in New Hampshire. Well, the first attack ad came tonight."
David Gergen, former White House adviser: "Well, on style, I think that the most presidential tonight were John McCain, who has found his voice again...But the candidate I think that the spotlight was shining on tonight and who really emerged as the most authentic and human was Mike Huckabee. Huckabee continually responded to questions with a -- with a compassionate, sort of human quality that I think will appeal to a lot of people in their homes."
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!Jamal Simmons, Democratic strategist: "I thought Mike Huckabee was good. I mean, he's one of these candidates that really has jumped off the page and impressed everyone up and down the field. And you see that reflected in the numbers right now...And, at the same time, you take a look at Romney, you know, his -- his hair never fell, but his voice faltered. He -- you know, on issues like abortion, gays in the military, he just seemed like, if you -- if you had style points, he just was not a commanding presence, I thought, tonight at all."
One other observation. CNN favorite Bill Bennett observed that Mitt Romney had performed as if he were "all in -- as you would say in Texas Hold'em." That's a reference you'd think Mr. Bennett might want to stay away from.
Double PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!! (Although we'd have stayed away from that particular link.)
PLUS:
"Without Writers Guild members, we would have bad jokes, crap movies, and an endless output of reality television," Tim Robbins, for example, expounded in a strangely clipped accent, begging the question: As opposed to what?
MINUS:
Some of the greatest television shows and movies in the history of either medium have no doubt been produced in recent years. [FOLLOWING SENTENCE]
TRANSLATION: I wanna join the Writers Guild too -- even if they are a bunch of COMMIES.
"Without Writers Guild members, we would have bad jokes, crap movies, and an endless output of reality television," Tim Robbins, for example, expounded in a strangely clipped accent, begging the question: As opposed to what?
MINUS:
Some of the greatest television shows and movies in the history of either medium have no doubt been produced in recent years. [FOLLOWING SENTENCE]
TRANSLATION: I wanna join the Writers Guild too -- even if they are a bunch of COMMIES.
Ex-president Khatami says don't let hard-liners in US and Iran dictate the relationship. [Sub-hed]
Judging from that "US and Iran" biz Mr. Ex-President has an ambidextrous mouth.
Judging from that "US and Iran" biz Mr. Ex-President has an ambidextrous mouth.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
"You want to be sympathetic to the (family's) grief, but I think some of the grief and sorrow is maybe because of the activity and the lifestyle older people were living that caused this tragedy to happen."
TRANSLATION: I'd be mad as hell that a slain girl's parents flaunted their gang symbols on MySpace except that might be unseemly what with all these bullets flying.
TRANSLATION: I'd be mad as hell that a slain girl's parents flaunted their gang symbols on MySpace except that might be unseemly what with all these bullets flying.
Elsewhere in show-biz nooz, Woodster the Perv has a falling out with Chicken Nation, which is rather like Chicken Nation having a falling out with Al Qaeda.
(Via ShowBizData)
(Via ShowBizData)
Dell's sales went up -- but its shares went way down.
B. S. DEFENDER must be hugging himself!
[T]he company posted a slight decline in desktop sales as more customers shifted their purchases to Dell's notebook products.
They didn't listen to you, B. S.! (But maybe the Wall Street Casino did.)
B. S. DEFENDER must be hugging himself!
[T]he company posted a slight decline in desktop sales as more customers shifted their purchases to Dell's notebook products.
They didn't listen to you, B. S.! (But maybe the Wall Street Casino did.)
Sen. Hole-in-the-Bagel auditions for vice-president -- again!
If that doesn't work out, Hole, remember, you can always SUPERLOBBY for ETHANOL -- just like that arrogant no-goodnick Sen. Mickey Mouse Protection Act.
If that doesn't work out, Hole, remember, you can always SUPERLOBBY for ETHANOL -- just like that arrogant no-goodnick Sen. Mickey Mouse Protection Act.
Thanks to addicts like ROMY the Boston Phoenix has become the single most insistent outlet of pretentious blah this side of The New Yorker. Today the addict insisted on linking to a story in which another auditioner for the Kingdom of Tilley posits (or rather deposits) that the fake-news blackout will change the presidential race. "The Daily Show is now a dominant media brand for twentysomethings", says our auditioner, and while Eustace might at one time have squinched at that use of "brand" it has since proudly entered the arsenal of hacks who want to shoot us in the head. (We will not argue the point on the basis of the BRANDS' tiny audience, as people who hope to write for The New Yorker don't have to know such things.) Such stories seem based on the predicate that he who is first with the CW must be good, never minding Andrew Carnegie's old maxim that "pioneering don't pay", or that the W in CW is never wise.
Elsewhere in his site the indefatigable Romy links to some sort of story in yet ANOTHER "progressive" site where some practical hack devalues a degree in JERNALISM:
I mean this whole notion of journalism school—I can’t believe people actually go to journalism school. You can learn the entire thing in like three days. My advice is instead of going to journalism school, go to school for something concrete like medicine or some kind of science or something and then use the knowledge you get in that field as a wedge to get yourself into journalism.
This being ROMY (AND a Jann-factotum, and a "progressive" site) our hero conveniently neglects that people in medicine or some kind of science may not want JERNALISM wages, or may not have the time to practice it as a hobby, and that the biz more than any other defines the idea that "you get what you pay for" -- especially as more refuse to pay for it.
He also overestimates how much time you need to learn it.
Elsewhere in his site the indefatigable Romy links to some sort of story in yet ANOTHER "progressive" site where some practical hack devalues a degree in JERNALISM:
I mean this whole notion of journalism school—I can’t believe people actually go to journalism school. You can learn the entire thing in like three days. My advice is instead of going to journalism school, go to school for something concrete like medicine or some kind of science or something and then use the knowledge you get in that field as a wedge to get yourself into journalism.
This being ROMY (AND a Jann-factotum, and a "progressive" site) our hero conveniently neglects that people in medicine or some kind of science may not want JERNALISM wages, or may not have the time to practice it as a hobby, and that the biz more than any other defines the idea that "you get what you pay for" -- especially as more refuse to pay for it.
He also overestimates how much time you need to learn it.
TRANSLATION: Within two months those inanely jabbering rhymes-with-ducks the Drunken Slob and TIMMY!!!!! will be head-on-shoulder palsy-walsies again -- unless the lack of SYNERGY prohibits it.
Jerry Della Femina, whose agency started calling WABC last summer when Imus' return was just a rumor, told Page Six: "I, for one, am glad Imus is back. While he was gone, I had to resort to talking to my own wife in the morning."
Jerry, YOU'RE A DUCK TOO.
(Via IWantMedia)
Jerry Della Femina, whose agency started calling WABC last summer when Imus' return was just a rumor, told Page Six: "I, for one, am glad Imus is back. While he was gone, I had to resort to talking to my own wife in the morning."
Jerry, YOU'RE A DUCK TOO.
(Via IWantMedia)
We are sorry to hear the former Rep. Henry Hyde has died. He was a bold and righteous stalwart in the fight against abortion. It must be conceded, however, that he may have stayed in Congress too long, especially given his end-of-career embarrassment over his love life; but as the sleazy tale of Sen. Mickey Mouse Protection Act tells us, that is an all too common flaw, and it is at least somewhat ameliorated when our elected leaders have a passion for something other than wealth.
In further proof (as though proof be needed) that America's pundit class has too much time on its hands:
NYT's Rosenthal says "Enough!" to columnists' Reagan feud
NYT's Rosenthal says "Enough!" to columnists' Reagan feud
Shucks, Branson East, the Theme Park Capitol of America, is back in biz.
Let's hope the suckers don't forget for a while.
The New York City comptroller's office has estimated total losses to the economy at $2 million per day, which adds up to $38 million for the 19-day duration of the work stoppage.
Which is the eeniest fraction of what the Wall Street Casino can lose the economy in one minute, confirming Branson East's importance.
Let's hope the suckers don't forget for a while.
The New York City comptroller's office has estimated total losses to the economy at $2 million per day, which adds up to $38 million for the 19-day duration of the work stoppage.
Which is the eeniest fraction of what the Wall Street Casino can lose the economy in one minute, confirming Branson East's importance.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Speaking of TownHall.com:
Another global warming skeptic has dared speak up. Meteorologist John Coleman, founder of the Weather Channel, calls global warming "THE GREATEST SCAM IN HISTORY"!!!!! [Scam-busting overemphasis added]
We've said it before, we'll say it again -- if John Stossel were LIBERAL -- he'd be exactly as he is, only different.
Another global warming skeptic has dared speak up. Meteorologist John Coleman, founder of the Weather Channel, calls global warming "THE GREATEST SCAM IN HISTORY"!!!!! [Scam-busting overemphasis added]
We've said it before, we'll say it again -- if John Stossel were LIBERAL -- he'd be exactly as he is, only different.
One wonders if customer service is becoming just like the weather. On the one hand who can doubt that Corporate America is essentially a reinforced concrete block with a heart of stone? On the other hand who can doubt that many people complain too much? For both reasons customer service will become ever more like the weather.
And as it announces it shall NO LONGER RUN PRINT ADS, R. J. Reynolds is pushing a line of boutique cigarettes, which pretty fairly means it isn't serious at all.
This is a genuinely irritating article. For starters it says that today's movies stink, but in a way that tries to tap-dance around the idea by merely insisting one particular film is very very VERY good. Second, it says an animated feature could win the best-picture Os-CAR®. That did not seem so self-evident when the A-CA-de-MY® invented the Best Picture Os-CAR® for Animated Features. This category, Mike tells us, has created a "ghetto" that prevents such films from being taken seriously. We cringe because the A-CA-de-MY® had one chance to give a Best Picture Os-CAR® to a movie that defined animation, and muffed it. If Snow White didn't win the prize why should its successors? (Of course it was a little more difficult for Snow White to earn an Os-CAR® given that movies may not have stunk quite as badly in 1937.) Third, it points out that Hollywood's Scarlet Letter is a G. That's supremely annoying by itself because it sums up all the biz' superiority over its customers and how it would rather engage in collective immolation than make a picture that appeals to everyone. Finally, this is yet another how-many-angels debate over an award that goes to the picture with the best vote-getting campaign and the best blurbs from news hacks, which does not mean the WINNER will be ANY GOOD.
NEW YORK The R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Co., which has been under intense pressure from anti-smoking groups and members of Congress over print ads for its cigarettes, said Tuesday it would not advertise its brands in newspapers or consumer magazines next year.
ADVERTISEMENT [SIC?!?!?]
ADVERTISEMENT [SIC?!?!?]
Speaking of cultural renewal:
[T]he 2007 harvest is in. And what a harvest it has been. At least 727 new novels, up from 683 for last autumn's literary rentrée. Hundreds of new music albums and dozens of new films....
Sounds like USATODAY!!!!! plugging for the good ol' U. S. of A.! (Although it might not use that fancy word.) Just one thing -- this is France; and:
All of these mighty oaks being felled in France's cultural forest make barely a sound in the wider world. Once admired for the dominating excellence of its writers, artists and musicians, France today is a wilting power in the global cultural marketplace.
If the shoe were on the other foot....Happily it's on ours.
[T]he 2007 harvest is in. And what a harvest it has been. At least 727 new novels, up from 683 for last autumn's literary rentrée. Hundreds of new music albums and dozens of new films....
Sounds like USATODAY!!!!! plugging for the good ol' U. S. of A.! (Although it might not use that fancy word.) Just one thing -- this is France; and:
All of these mighty oaks being felled in France's cultural forest make barely a sound in the wider world. Once admired for the dominating excellence of its writers, artists and musicians, France today is a wilting power in the global cultural marketplace.
If the shoe were on the other foot....Happily it's on ours.
Terry Teachout points to an old tribute he wrote of the jazz bandleader Maria Schneider:
She can write old-fashioned flagwaver-with-a-shout-chorus charts whenever she pleases, but prefers to turn out harmonically complex originals with subtly blended instrumental colors that suggest Evans without ever borrowing from him.
I hear a loud buzzer sounding because "Evans" -- that's the arranger Gil Evans -- not only worked with Miles Davis, who could be profoundly dismissive of his fans, he wrote for Claude Thornhill, whose band made some truly astonishing music but was a commercial failure -- and alas, it was a commercial failure because it pioneered in bop, among other things. While it is nice to hear somebody's plugging away at reviving the jazz carcass it ultimately won't work because this sounds for all the world like another tale of an artist pleasing himself when he ought to be pleasing an audience, but that luxury passed out of art a long time ago, and those three names alone, illustrious though they are, tell a small part of the tale.
She can write old-fashioned flagwaver-with-a-shout-chorus charts whenever she pleases, but prefers to turn out harmonically complex originals with subtly blended instrumental colors that suggest Evans without ever borrowing from him.
I hear a loud buzzer sounding because "Evans" -- that's the arranger Gil Evans -- not only worked with Miles Davis, who could be profoundly dismissive of his fans, he wrote for Claude Thornhill, whose band made some truly astonishing music but was a commercial failure -- and alas, it was a commercial failure because it pioneered in bop, among other things. While it is nice to hear somebody's plugging away at reviving the jazz carcass it ultimately won't work because this sounds for all the world like another tale of an artist pleasing himself when he ought to be pleasing an audience, but that luxury passed out of art a long time ago, and those three names alone, illustrious though they are, tell a small part of the tale.
AP NEWS ALERT!!!!!
TEHRAN, Iran (AP) -- Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad says the Annapolis peace summit was a "failure" and Israel is doomed to "collapse."
Am I glad I found out!
TEHRAN, Iran (AP) -- Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad says the Annapolis peace summit was a "failure" and Israel is doomed to "collapse."
Am I glad I found out!
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Has anyone noticed all the professional college football coaches getting fired? Heck for all the money they're getting in buyouts it doesn't pay to be good.
Our Favorite Stock of the Day:
Staples Inc., up $2.04 at $21.80.
Adjusted third-quarter profit beat estimates on stronger sales of high-margin items like ink cartridges, the office products retailer said.
Staples Inc., up $2.04 at $21.80.
Adjusted third-quarter profit beat estimates on stronger sales of high-margin items like ink cartridges, the office products retailer said.
So: The Israelis and the Palestinians have agreed to another talkfest, which will result in another agreement, which will mean -- who knows?
"Before the end of 2008." Clever timing, Dub!
"Before the end of 2008." Clever timing, Dub!
At the time this article was written, talks were still taking place, but there were reports the Broadway strike could end before daybreak!!!!!
Errrr, RIGHT, SUPERNIKKI.
Errrr, RIGHT, SUPERNIKKI.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Hot business news!
Dick's Sporting Goods to buy Chick's Sporting for $40 mln - MarketWatch
We wouldn't touch that with a...heck we can't even say THAT.
Dick's Sporting Goods to buy Chick's Sporting for $40 mln - MarketWatch
We wouldn't touch that with a...heck we can't even say THAT.
AP NEWS ALERT!!!!!
WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Bush says he is optimistic about prospects for Mideast peace.
When will the ASSPress stop running news alerts and just run news?
WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Bush says he is optimistic about prospects for Mideast peace.
When will the ASSPress stop running news alerts and just run news?
The Saudis' foreign minister won't shake hands with Mr. Olmert.
No doubt he'd scream for one of these.
No doubt he'd scream for one of these.
At the time this article was written, talks were still taking place, but there were reports the Broadway strike could end before daybreak!!!!!
[A] VERY reliable source tells me that there appears to be a deal seemingly in place between both sides....my source thought it was possible that the strike could be settled before CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!! [Inside overemphasis added]
Is NIKKI!!!!!!!!!! becoming the SAM LITTLE of HOLLYWOOD?
No, because she's LOTS BETTER!!!!!
[A] VERY reliable source tells me that there appears to be a deal seemingly in place between both sides....my source thought it was possible that the strike could be settled before CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!! [Inside overemphasis added]
Is NIKKI!!!!!!!!!! becoming the SAM LITTLE of HOLLYWOOD?
No, because she's LOTS BETTER!!!!!
"This is not Dave Petraeus' war. THIS IS GEORGE BUSH'S WAR!!!!!" [Overemphasis added]
Hey Dems! I think we've got a new motto in our crusade to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory!
And it comes from generals!
Hey Dems! I think we've got a new motto in our crusade to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory!
And it comes from generals!
Neat-o! ConEd outsources some of its manhole covers to Inja!
Isn't this the firm that lets people fall into manholes or step on live grates or something?
POOR Oprah Winfrey. Not only does she have to deal with the shameful lesbian abuse scandal at her South African girls school, but now a sleazebag is threatening to publish a supposed exposé about her company, Harpo, intended to further embarrass the billionaire Queen of Daytime Talk.
POOR Oprah indeed! Now she'll have to barricade herself with her billions. DREADFUL!
POOR Oprah indeed! Now she'll have to barricade herself with her billions. DREADFUL!
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Elsewhere in the Big Double-A Scribble: Strike, strike, keep striking, millionaires! Strike so long the people who pay your big bucks will have give advertisers their money back!
I have this horrid feeling both sides of snobs will agree by year's end -- heck by month's end. But we can keep hoping.
Other industry-adjacent endeavors whose fates have become entwined with Hollywood's have, ironically enough, actually experienced an uptick in sales, as people with more money than time find themselves finally free to spend a bit more of both: At the Four Seasons hotel on Maui at Wailea, bookings are actually up, according to Mark Simon, director-marketing, who says that overworked and strike-frazzled Hollywooders are at last going on holiday.
So, too, at the exclusive French West Indies retreats such as Eden Rock (booked solid from Dec. 21 through Jan. 9th) and at the Guanahani Hotel; both enclaves on St. Barthelemy are nearly full for the holidays.
WwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwWELL! We're glad the Millionaires and their cohorts aren't suffering.
I have this horrid feeling both sides of snobs will agree by year's end -- heck by month's end. But we can keep hoping.
Other industry-adjacent endeavors whose fates have become entwined with Hollywood's have, ironically enough, actually experienced an uptick in sales, as people with more money than time find themselves finally free to spend a bit more of both: At the Four Seasons hotel on Maui at Wailea, bookings are actually up, according to Mark Simon, director-marketing, who says that overworked and strike-frazzled Hollywooders are at last going on holiday.
So, too, at the exclusive French West Indies retreats such as Eden Rock (booked solid from Dec. 21 through Jan. 9th) and at the Guanahani Hotel; both enclaves on St. Barthelemy are nearly full for the holidays.
WwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwWELL! We're glad the Millionaires and their cohorts aren't suffering.
"Only one in 100 people may know that Unilever owns both brands," he said. "But that one person is likely to be participating in social media."
TRANSLATION: When a proud member of The American Society of Willfully Ignorant Advertisers sells two different products in contradictory ways that make the manufacturer look hypocritical, it can't get away with it anymore.
TRANSLATION: When a proud member of The American Society of Willfully Ignorant Advertisers sells two different products in contradictory ways that make the manufacturer look hypocritical, it can't get away with it anymore.
So much for DVD extras:
Gary Tooze, editor of dvdbeaver.com, a popular DVD-review website, pays special attention to the quality of transfers, comparing screen captures and conducting "bit-rate analyses" to measure data compression. A great DVD, he said, is one that "adheres to all the original theatrical attributes, including aspect ratio, colors, detail."
Although he's a fan of "professional prepared commentaries," he once polled his site visitors on their favorite commentary of the year. "The highest response," he said, "was that they don't listen to them." [Last two grafs]
Gary Tooze, editor of dvdbeaver.com, a popular DVD-review website, pays special attention to the quality of transfers, comparing screen captures and conducting "bit-rate analyses" to measure data compression. A great DVD, he said, is one that "adheres to all the original theatrical attributes, including aspect ratio, colors, detail."
Although he's a fan of "professional prepared commentaries," he once polled his site visitors on their favorite commentary of the year. "The highest response," he said, "was that they don't listen to them." [Last two grafs]
TRANSLATION: This Branson East roustabout works five hours a day, in a business he loves, at union wages. Nice work if you can get it.
I am only slightly more sympathetic to these roustabouts than I am to the Millionaires -- make that microscopically so.
They'll probably settle tomorrow morning, and then it'll be stinky theme parks as usual, and huge grosses from the tourist saps as usual.
I am only slightly more sympathetic to these roustabouts than I am to the Millionaires -- make that microscopically so.
They'll probably settle tomorrow morning, and then it'll be stinky theme parks as usual, and huge grosses from the tourist saps as usual.
We admit we were wrong about the BEEEE-OHHHH, but do Non Germain and his dear friend PAUL DRECK really have to celebrate with an impromptu jitterbug on their desks?
This is why CURLEY!!!!! (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) gets us so agitated with his agitations: for their every brave defense of a FRRREEEEEEE PRRRRRRRRRESS news hacks engage in SEVERAL THOUSAND DEFENSES of a DOLLAR BILL.
Oh great: Some horse-race-chasing superhack laments one of our locally-produced superhacks, the AWARD-WINNING Richard Ben Cramer, wrote a book that helped create the permanent presidential campaign.
Hell would be too good for you clowns.
[W]hat might appear simple to a voter can, I know, seem hard for a journalist.
And you overpaid hacks seem quite simple to us indeed -- but that's because you work so hard making everything seem hard, especially your own mind-churning simplemindedness.
Hell would be too good for you clowns.
[W]hat might appear simple to a voter can, I know, seem hard for a journalist.
And you overpaid hacks seem quite simple to us indeed -- but that's because you work so hard making everything seem hard, especially your own mind-churning simplemindedness.
And of course not everyone at the WaPost engages in deep thinking; indeed we wonder if some of the staff engages in any thinking at all -- but hey, if they did they couldn't write about the Millionaires' Strike.
Which isn't to say the publishing biz has forgotten the dictum, "Stupid Is as Stupid Pays." Forbeslist MUST run an extremely irritating book blurb (for a two-year-old book that's no. 577,927 on Amazon.com -- why not just let sleeping dogs lie?) over which ultramegalomaniac CEOs belong on the list of GREATEST TERMINATORS AND SELF-REMUNERATORS OF ALL TIME, said purpose being who can suck up to the most people after the fact; and a great many people are DEEPLY UPSET that LEGENDARY WELCH isn't on the list, presumably because he fired too many people to the sounds of press cheerleading, but heck it wasn't our jobs.
WHO WILL BE THE NEXT LEGENDARY? And there WILL be one, just as sure as news hacks spin and sell.
WHO WILL BE THE NEXT LEGENDARY? And there WILL be one, just as sure as news hacks spin and sell.
We would buy more books if we had the money for them. (We waste it instead on CDs and DVDs.) Jonathan Yardley's review of what is no doubt a fine one-volume history of "Jacksonian" America (with the great title of What Hath God Wrought -- no question mark!) underlines Henry Adams's dictum about our nation's perfection of historical amnesia. I am vaguely familiar with the period and suspect one could say it constituted America's true renaissance. One could also say the country was run by foot-stomping ambitious hotheads like Andy Jackson who helped it careen toward civil war. Odd to think the now ultra-PC Democrats were the party of -- slaveholders?
We must put this on our personal bookmarks: The Oxford History of the United States.
We must put this on our personal bookmarks: The Oxford History of the United States.
The head man and boss of franchise operations at the British Vicarage and Tea-Time Club says America is EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL, but Islam's okay when taken in moderation, which may help explain why nobody in England goes to tea-time anymore.
The wide-ranging interview with a British Muslim lifestyle magazine....
And which "lifestyle" would that be?
He described violence as "a quick discharge of frustration", adding: " It serves you. It does not serve the situation. Whenever people turn to violence what they do is temporarily release themselves from some sort of problem but they help no one else...."
Okay Archy, you're mad at America, and you had a quick tantrum that made you feel better because otherwise you'd fume that no one wants your tea anymore. How do you differ from us? Oh, but you do. You're head of one of the world's great franchisers.
The wide-ranging interview with a British Muslim lifestyle magazine....
And which "lifestyle" would that be?
He described violence as "a quick discharge of frustration", adding: " It serves you. It does not serve the situation. Whenever people turn to violence what they do is temporarily release themselves from some sort of problem but they help no one else...."
Okay Archy, you're mad at America, and you had a quick tantrum that made you feel better because otherwise you'd fume that no one wants your tea anymore. How do you differ from us? Oh, but you do. You're head of one of the world's great franchisers.