THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Saturday, June 10, 2006
In searching for a new name for my blog, I found too many people have too much time on their hands.
I also just sent off to the Bugmeister for His soon-to-be-discontinued hit software FrontPage 2003. Those of you who've been to the online shopping chat rooms will know Bug gives it away (along with Outlook) for sampling Windows Small Business Server 2003 (another soon-to-be-deep-sixed program); the only cost is shipping and taxes. I don't know that it's usable with G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBlogger, plus it relies on a heavy dose of CODE, but I'm hoping I can jazz up this site -- not too much, just enough to make it better looking. Forty-one months with one template is long enough.
I also just sent off to the Bugmeister for His soon-to-be-discontinued hit software FrontPage 2003. Those of you who've been to the online shopping chat rooms will know Bug gives it away (along with Outlook) for sampling Windows Small Business Server 2003 (another soon-to-be-deep-sixed program); the only cost is shipping and taxes. I don't know that it's usable with G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBlogger, plus it relies on a heavy dose of CODE, but I'm hoping I can jazz up this site -- not too much, just enough to make it better looking. Forty-one months with one template is long enough.
Garrison's and Bob "IMMORTAL" Altman's cutesy-pie chuckle about death seems to be facing the grim reaper at the B. O.
But then the minute the ad-blurbists mentioned one of the greatest movies ever, NASHVILLE, you could hear millions of electrical switches shutting off.
On top of that, it's NNNNNNNNNNPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRR.
Chalk up another smash hit for PEOPLE WARNER ARTHOUSE PICTURES II!
But then the minute the ad-blurbists mentioned one of the greatest movies ever, NASHVILLE, you could hear millions of electrical switches shutting off.
On top of that, it's NNNNNNNNNNPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRR.
Chalk up another smash hit for PEOPLE WARNER ARTHOUSE PICTURES II!
A prediction: One of the two newsrags will take its mind off last week's BAD news by putting A FICTIONAL CHARACTER on the cover.
And here's betting it's NOT the TWXSTERS who do it -- but we wouldn't be surprised.
And here's betting it's NOT the TWXSTERS who do it -- but we wouldn't be surprised.
TRANSLATION: On the increasingly rare occasions when movie makers make movies for adults (and too often they're for grown-up kids), they're always engaged in HOMAGE, and that's why the movie for adults is dead, for all the stellar grosses.
Count on A. O. to turn a revered picture into something not worth seeing.
Count on A. O. to turn a revered picture into something not worth seeing.
The TRIB LALA Edition continues to make a big stink about that painted-over mural:
If only the elusive wielder of this giant roller brush could have tackled those kiddie-porn ads for American Apparel.
Well, some people have tried something like that -- with liquor and ciggie ads in the inner-city. (We suspect this merited a few self-righteous words from the hacks, who until recently benefited from the tobacco industry's munificence.) The problem is that murals sprout up where buildings won't; this is a golden age of slightly-tacky-looking populist murals precisely because this is an age of dross for cities. I would rather see a building go up than another mural.
[W]hat [is art], who decides and, alas, how many people really care?
We can have a pretty fair idea from posterity. Alas, we can have no good idea from NEWS HACKS, who nearly bequeathed us a Tinkertoy pile at Ground Zero, who swoon over vandalism in the guise of "hip" rebellion, who call every third-rate opera and fourth-rate TV drama and fifth-rate CGI fest a MASTERPIECE. Maybe painting over that mural wasn't such a hot idea, but in the end I'd rather trust in the judgments of time than in insulated high-paid scribblers.
I repeat what I said before: this mural gets RESTORED -- at TAXPAYER EXPENSE.
If only the elusive wielder of this giant roller brush could have tackled those kiddie-porn ads for American Apparel.
Well, some people have tried something like that -- with liquor and ciggie ads in the inner-city. (We suspect this merited a few self-righteous words from the hacks, who until recently benefited from the tobacco industry's munificence.) The problem is that murals sprout up where buildings won't; this is a golden age of slightly-tacky-looking populist murals precisely because this is an age of dross for cities. I would rather see a building go up than another mural.
[W]hat [is art], who decides and, alas, how many people really care?
We can have a pretty fair idea from posterity. Alas, we can have no good idea from NEWS HACKS, who nearly bequeathed us a Tinkertoy pile at Ground Zero, who swoon over vandalism in the guise of "hip" rebellion, who call every third-rate opera and fourth-rate TV drama and fifth-rate CGI fest a MASTERPIECE. Maybe painting over that mural wasn't such a hot idea, but in the end I'd rather trust in the judgments of time than in insulated high-paid scribblers.
I repeat what I said before: this mural gets RESTORED -- at TAXPAYER EXPENSE.
We hate to say it again, but say it again we must: NEWS HACKS act as though we spend every morning going out to the stoop and getting the daily paper, that we take every ink-stained word of it at face value, and that the most high-tech we have in our home is granddad's 1934 Philco cabinet radio. Listen to this graf from ASSociated Press flack Jim:
Murtha, coming from the working-class district around Johnstown, has strong ties with organized labor. He is more conservative than many of his Democratic colleagues on other issues, opposing abortion rights and backing gun owner rights.
We've read enough of the hacks to know when they're trying to pull their usual unbiased, nonpartisan snow job on us, so we looked it up for ourselves: the ACU ranked Rep. RESPECTED X. MARINE a 40 last year -- his lifetime rating's a 33 -- and the ADA ranked him a 75 (his lifetime rating is in the fifties or sixties). Now we know these partisan tablepounders rank by key votes, and they reward the ones who love them; but it does sound as though ol' RESPECTED's just a little south of conservative.
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD (majority-leader-spokesman division) to JIM!
Murtha, coming from the working-class district around Johnstown, has strong ties with organized labor. He is more conservative than many of his Democratic colleagues on other issues, opposing abortion rights and backing gun owner rights.
We've read enough of the hacks to know when they're trying to pull their usual unbiased, nonpartisan snow job on us, so we looked it up for ourselves: the ACU ranked Rep. RESPECTED X. MARINE a 40 last year -- his lifetime rating's a 33 -- and the ADA ranked him a 75 (his lifetime rating is in the fifties or sixties). Now we know these partisan tablepounders rank by key votes, and they reward the ones who love them; but it does sound as though ol' RESPECTED's just a little south of conservative.
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD (majority-leader-spokesman division) to JIM!
Friday, June 09, 2006
Somebody was EXTREMELY ANGRY at Islam Online:
"Just as the American public begins to look into Haditha, this happens. I'm going to be interested as to how Bush's approval rating changes, as well as how long we've known where this guy was," a Democrat told [SIC!!!!!] The American Inspectator [SIC!!!!!] newspaper [SIC!!!!!].
We presume the happily anonymous news aggregator meant The American Expectorator -- and we don't think this dribble rises to the level of warm spit.
These things will happen on a Web site no doubt popular with followers of Rep. MOO! And Pete "I HATE JEWS!!!!!" Stark -- and maybe those two eminences as well.
What The American Inspectator said. And we thought only PAPER OF RE-CORD typists couldn't read.
"Just as the American public begins to look into Haditha, this happens. I'm going to be interested as to how Bush's approval rating changes, as well as how long we've known where this guy was," a Democrat told [SIC!!!!!] The American Inspectator [SIC!!!!!] newspaper [SIC!!!!!].
We presume the happily anonymous news aggregator meant The American Expectorator -- and we don't think this dribble rises to the level of warm spit.
These things will happen on a Web site no doubt popular with followers of Rep. MOO! And Pete "I HATE JEWS!!!!!" Stark -- and maybe those two eminences as well.
What The American Inspectator said. And we thought only PAPER OF RE-CORD typists couldn't read.
The PAPER OF RE-CORD finds another effete snob:
Hearst Tower...is a "muscular symbol of corporate self- confidence," says Nicolai Ouroussoff. [Home-page squib]
TRANSLATION: It looks like a high-tech squeeze box that grew up.
But then what do I know? These snobs still moan over the loss of Tilted Arc.
CONGRESSMAN RESPECTED X. MARINE WANTS TO RUN FOR "MAJORITY" LEADER!!!!!
I'm SURE you be MUCH BETTER than STENY! HEY! Why stop there? You'd be much, MUCH better than BABS!!!!!
Hey RESPECTED, did you hint-hint say it NOW so as to make a big splash at KOS'S GASATHON?
(Via C-SPAN.org)
"A senior aide to the Democratic leadership told ABC News....
LIKE HELL. (Via FreeRepublic)
P. S. Maybe this is why he did it: the GOOGLE NEWS RESPECTED MURTHA INDEX, once at a lusty 1,780, is now a paltry 71.
RESPECTED for "MAJORITY" LEADER!
I'm SURE you be MUCH BETTER than STENY! HEY! Why stop there? You'd be much, MUCH better than BABS!!!!!
Hey RESPECTED, did you hint-hint say it NOW so as to make a big splash at KOS'S GASATHON?
(Via C-SPAN.org)
"A senior aide to the Democratic leadership told ABC News....
LIKE HELL. (Via FreeRepublic)
P. S. Maybe this is why he did it: the GOOGLE NEWS RESPECTED MURTHA INDEX, once at a lusty 1,780, is now a paltry 71.
RESPECTED for "MAJORITY" LEADER!
'New York Times' Reviews Howell Raines's Memoir, Finds It Lacking
And that's more than its WISHY-WASHY POWERLESS OMBUDSPOOP would have done.
But what Espen calls "the most frustrating omission in Raines's apologia is the lack of anything specific and useful about how the craft of journalism and editorial management can be practiced in a manner that intercepts and corrects or eliminates the feckless errors and fabulist concoctions of bad reporters...."
Alas, like the poor, the feckless errors and fabulist concotions of reporters will always be with us.
And that's more than its WISHY-WASHY POWERLESS OMBUDSPOOP would have done.
But what Espen calls "the most frustrating omission in Raines's apologia is the lack of anything specific and useful about how the craft of journalism and editorial management can be practiced in a manner that intercepts and corrects or eliminates the feckless errors and fabulist concoctions of bad reporters...."
Alas, like the poor, the feckless errors and fabulist concotions of reporters will always be with us.
Here we go again:
The governor of Texas wants to turn all the world into a virtual posse. Rick Perry has announced a $5 million plan to install hundreds of night-vision cameras on private land along the Mexican border and put the live video on the Internet...
...which will yield VIRTUAL ALIENS.
The governor of Texas wants to turn all the world into a virtual posse. Rick Perry has announced a $5 million plan to install hundreds of night-vision cameras on private land along the Mexican border and put the live video on the Internet...
...which will yield VIRTUAL ALIENS.
U.S. warns of 'possible terrorist threat' in China
This is puzzling. Aren't they among the good guys?
China has largely escaped attacks in the past, but the Beijing government is fighting a campaign against Muslim Uighurs in the northwestern region of Xinjiang who are agitating for an independent East Turkestan state.
Ah, so they're meanies just like us.
This is puzzling. Aren't they among the good guys?
China has largely escaped attacks in the past, but the Beijing government is fighting a campaign against Muslim Uighurs in the northwestern region of Xinjiang who are agitating for an independent East Turkestan state.
Ah, so they're meanies just like us.
Spelling Clear Channel With a $B
The company, the largest radio station owners in the country, said radio's share was $845,518,764, divided among the airtime value of donated PSAs, $664,397,507; fund-raising, $121,709,272, and disaster relief, $59,411,985.
TV's share, according to the company, was $61,149,743, with $28,612,604 in donated PSA airtime, $21,705,182 in fund-raising, and $10,831,957 for disaster relief.
Two years ago, the NAB industry total was $9.6 Billion [SIC]. If form holds, that would give Clear Channel about a 10% stake of the take. [Emphasis added]
No, spelling CHEAP CHANNEL with the usual B$.
The company, the largest radio station owners in the country, said radio's share was $845,518,764, divided among the airtime value of donated PSAs, $664,397,507; fund-raising, $121,709,272, and disaster relief, $59,411,985.
TV's share, according to the company, was $61,149,743, with $28,612,604 in donated PSA airtime, $21,705,182 in fund-raising, and $10,831,957 for disaster relief.
Two years ago, the NAB industry total was $9.6 Billion [SIC]. If form holds, that would give Clear Channel about a 10% stake of the take. [Emphasis added]
No, spelling CHEAP CHANNEL with the usual B$.
A drunk gathers his fellow drunks round the taps and tells what he presumes to be a joke:
MSNBC personality Don Imus said on the air Thursday that Rick Kaplan had been fired as president of the cable news network. "The newspapers say it was some mutual agreement, but Rick told me he was fired," Imus remarked. However, it was not clear whether Imus was merely setting himself up for the quip that followed. "I have even worse news," he said, "I have been named to succeed him." Then, referring to the MSNBC primetime news hosts, he said, "Tucker, Joe, Rita, I'd like you to give me a call...."
When will this alcoholic slob be canned? Or better still, follow the late KING into richly remunerative obscurity?
MSNBC personality Don Imus said on the air Thursday that Rick Kaplan had been fired as president of the cable news network. "The newspapers say it was some mutual agreement, but Rick told me he was fired," Imus remarked. However, it was not clear whether Imus was merely setting himself up for the quip that followed. "I have even worse news," he said, "I have been named to succeed him." Then, referring to the MSNBC primetime news hosts, he said, "Tucker, Joe, Rita, I'd like you to give me a call...."
When will this alcoholic slob be canned? Or better still, follow the late KING into richly remunerative obscurity?
Consumers Sue L'Oreal for False Advertising
This is excellent news. If we could file class-action suits for every false ad MADAVE WOULD GO OUT OF BUSINESS!
Go for it!
This is excellent news. If we could file class-action suits for every false ad MADAVE WOULD GO OUT OF BUSINESS!
Go for it!
Somebody at Poynter.org has discovered a solution for those annoying Macromedia Flash pop-ups on news sites.
And how interesting: TRIB seems to be by far the WORST offender.
And how interesting: TRIB seems to be by far the WORST offender.
ROMY is ANGRY:
As happened with the capture of Saddam Hussein and the "shock and awe" bombing of Baghdad, some American news organizations yesterday covered the death of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi with marked enthusiasm, verging on inappropriate glee.
We agree there is no place for "inappropriate glee" in the news. But somehow the hacks manage to work it in when covering ATROCITIES, so it just matters which GLEE we feel. This confirms what a few conservative pundits have sniffed -- that liberals and Democrats were NOT happy at yesterday's outcome.
AND A LIBERAL AS WELL.
WHY IS TRIB'S STOCK GOING UP?!?!?
As happened with the capture of Saddam Hussein and the "shock and awe" bombing of Baghdad, some American news organizations yesterday covered the death of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi with marked enthusiasm, verging on inappropriate glee.
We agree there is no place for "inappropriate glee" in the news. But somehow the hacks manage to work it in when covering ATROCITIES, so it just matters which GLEE we feel. This confirms what a few conservative pundits have sniffed -- that liberals and Democrats were NOT happy at yesterday's outcome.
AND A LIBERAL AS WELL.
WHY IS TRIB'S STOCK GOING UP?!?!?
Sen. Ossified Kleagle and his ilk see Strom Thurmond – and raise him:
Older senators' lack of interest in retirement reflects a larger trend, says Nancy Thompson of the AARP, the nation's largest senior citizen lobby. "People are staying in the workforce at older ages in increasing numbers," she says. "The majority of workers over 50 want to stay in the workforce."
The problem is, most people don’t want to work when they’re 135.
Older senators' lack of interest in retirement reflects a larger trend, says Nancy Thompson of the AARP, the nation's largest senior citizen lobby. "People are staying in the workforce at older ages in increasing numbers," she says. "The majority of workers over 50 want to stay in the workforce."
The problem is, most people don’t want to work when they’re 135.
Lessons for Liberals in California
...[R]ealism is not the enemy of idealism, and taxpayers aren't being selfish when they place a heavy burden on those who would ask them to part with some of their money. Advocates of public action need to meet that test.
TRANSLATION: Don’t say you’re liberal.
...[R]ealism is not the enemy of idealism, and taxpayers aren't being selfish when they place a heavy burden on those who would ask them to part with some of their money. Advocates of public action need to meet that test.
TRANSLATION: Don’t say you’re liberal.
Thursday, June 08, 2006
I’m getting the knack of Blogger for Word. It’s easier and faster. Once you get used to Bugmeister Bill’s screwy way of creating hyperlinks, it’s almost fun.
Of course I don’t like it that every post has the same preview title.
It is fun though with OFFICE SOUNDS!
Of course I don’t like it that every post has the same preview title.
It is fun though with OFFICE SOUNDS!
Hmmm:
The American military finally hunted down and killed Abu Musab al-Zarqawi by homing in on the activities of the terrorist leader's "spiritual adviser." [Home-page blurb]
Must have temporarily switched religions.
The American military finally hunted down and killed Abu Musab al-Zarqawi by homing in on the activities of the terrorist leader's "spiritual adviser." [Home-page blurb]
Must have temporarily switched religions.
Why is BLOGGER FOR WORD working? (And barely at that.)
The GREEDY SOB LIBERALS LIKE utters a few TRUISMS:
"You can't buy the elections."
But you can sure as hell try!
"Republicans are much better at messaging and distorting the truth."
Who says close counts only in horseshoes?
He also tells Deborah Solomon that while he donated something like $27.5 million to MoveOn.org and other anti-Bush groups in 2004, and got nowhere, he does not feel it was squandered. "I did what I could," he testifies. "I didn't succeed. You know, it didn't hurt me." He notes that the annual budget of his foundations is about $400 million.
So there’s more money to squander where THAT came from!
"You can't buy the elections."
But you can sure as hell try!
"Republicans are much better at messaging and distorting the truth."
Who says close counts only in horseshoes?
He also tells Deborah Solomon that while he donated something like $27.5 million to MoveOn.org and other anti-Bush groups in 2004, and got nowhere, he does not feel it was squandered. "I did what I could," he testifies. "I didn't succeed. You know, it didn't hurt me." He notes that the annual budget of his foundations is about $400 million.
So there’s more money to squander where THAT came from!
I am getting TIRED of G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE. It’s bad enough that BLOGGER’s going through repeated breakdowns; now the SANCTIMONIOUS ZILLIONAIRE FRAUDS OF MOUNTAIN VIEW aren’t COUNTING MY POSTS.
ANYBODY OUT THERE?!?!?
ANYBODY OUT THERE?!?!?
The Senile Chamber proves once again the old saw that the Congress does best when it does nothing: it refused to give tax breaks to hereditary multi-zillionaire families and further refused to reconstruct the Kingdom of Hawaii.
Keep it up and we may never need you.
Keep it up and we may never need you.
I'm waiting for Stale.com to run a story: "So he's dead. So what?"
We smile: the universe's greatest sporting event -- well, in that part of the universe outside the U. S. -- has a vast likelihood of being rigged by bettors.
The Europeans love to lecture us about our eeeeeeeevil but they can't keep their sport free of hooligans and fixing. We smile again.
The Europeans love to lecture us about our eeeeeeeevil but they can't keep their sport free of hooligans and fixing. We smile again.
A drug store chain that New York rag has likened to "cabs and pigeons" is about to subject its Big Apple customers to TV ads because the ad agencies reside there.
Will those high-mucky-mucks of junk television even notice?
Will those high-mucky-mucks of junk television even notice?
Dark days are ahead for B. S. DEFENDER. Television is about to be CENSORED. The GREAT PRODUCERS of HOLLYWOOD will no longer be able to tell us THE TRUTH.
Look B. S., you had Abramoffs on your side, you had industry moguls -- you had DR. EVIL -- and you STILL LOST. Now spend the rest of your life boring your surfers about WEB 2.0.
Look B. S., you had Abramoffs on your side, you had industry moguls -- you had DR. EVIL -- and you STILL LOST. Now spend the rest of your life boring your surfers about WEB 2.0.
Part of the problem:
Washington area richest, most educated in US: report
And you know this understates how our superiors are doing, because this includes the bombed-out hull that is much of D.C.
Washington also claims the highest percentage of PhDs, at 2.5 percent of the population.
Definitely part of the problem.
All such surveys say is that we're mass-producing more Dilberts, who leave nothing behind but their monumental hubris and waste.
Washington area richest, most educated in US: report
And you know this understates how our superiors are doing, because this includes the bombed-out hull that is much of D.C.
Washington also claims the highest percentage of PhDs, at 2.5 percent of the population.
Definitely part of the problem.
All such surveys say is that we're mass-producing more Dilberts, who leave nothing behind but their monumental hubris and waste.
Shucks, Sen. O'Specter has been "outmaneuvered" and "undermined" by the Vice President.
Anything in Scottish law about it?
Anything in Scottish law about it?
The former Wizard of Oz -- orates:
Greenspan: Find oil substitute
Future generations will find it impossible to discern how He and LEGENDARY WELCH singlehandedly kept the economy moving.
Greenspan: Find oil substitute
Future generations will find it impossible to discern how He and LEGENDARY WELCH singlehandedly kept the economy moving.
FINALLY! WE GOT OUR MAN!
Now let us hope this weakens the "insurgency" just a little.
Today's a bad day at The Osama Channel.
Now let us hope this weakens the "insurgency" just a little.
Today's a bad day at The Osama Channel.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
His company owning AOL rather than MYSPACE, a TWXSTER nonetheless effuses that "WEB 2.0 is REALLY ABOUT ENGAGEMENT!" And he got applause from the likes of B. S. DEFENDER, no doubt.
At one point, Mr. Meirs was asked a question about the digital threat to TV -- in the form of increasingly popular digital video recorders -- and his answer got a strong reaction from the audience.
"I think they're at great risk," Mr. Meirs said in response to the question. "I have a DVR. I never look at commercials. And I think it's great because what it's doing is forcing people -- it's forcing media buyers -- to consider magazine advertising." The crowd burst into applause and laughter.
I'm sure KING RICHARD was HIGHLY amused. Then again, the King is so detached it's a wonder PEOPLE WARNER has a CEO.
At one point, Mr. Meirs was asked a question about the digital threat to TV -- in the form of increasingly popular digital video recorders -- and his answer got a strong reaction from the audience.
"I think they're at great risk," Mr. Meirs said in response to the question. "I have a DVR. I never look at commercials. And I think it's great because what it's doing is forcing people -- it's forcing media buyers -- to consider magazine advertising." The crowd burst into applause and laughter.
I'm sure KING RICHARD was HIGHLY amused. Then again, the King is so detached it's a wonder PEOPLE WARNER has a CEO.
"THEY WERE CUTTING COMMERCIALS FOR KERRY!!!!! THEY WERE USING THEIR GRIEF IN ORDER TO MAKE A POLITICAL POINT!!!!!"
So that makes your SCREAMING okay, Ann "The Rightie MoDo" Coulter?
So that makes your SCREAMING okay, Ann "The Rightie MoDo" Coulter?
Judging from how this breathless story got publicized it could be around for some time. On the other hand, what happened to USAOKAY!!!!!'s P-Ulitzer winner about phone "surveillance"? Possibly a reason such stories have such a short shelf life -- even our WICKED, PREMEDITATED EVIL IN ABU GHRAIB got ignored after a while -- may be seen in events NORTH OF THE BORDER.
PEOPLE magazine paid more than $4.1 million for the North American rights to photos of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's baby Shiloh, but the worldwide rights to shots of the ultimately celebrity kidlet could top $10 million. People's deal was first reported by Page Six yesterday.
Despite noble rumblings from the Towers of Babble, the TWXSTERS are NOT in the news business.
(Via MediaBistro)
Despite noble rumblings from the Towers of Babble, the TWXSTERS are NOT in the news business.
(Via MediaBistro)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
Procter & Gamble Co. is making cuts to its upfront spending for the second year in a row, a move attributed in part to its merger with Gillette that closed in October. The packaged-goods giant is slashing its upfront budget by around 10% and is one of a number of marketers reportedly spending less this year in broadcast TV.
One of the world's biggest producers of JUNK TELEVISION is starting to acquire -- SENSE?!?!?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
Procter & Gamble Co. is making cuts to its upfront spending for the second year in a row, a move attributed in part to its merger with Gillette that closed in October. The packaged-goods giant is slashing its upfront budget by around 10% and is one of a number of marketers reportedly spending less this year in broadcast TV.
One of the world's biggest producers of JUNK TELEVISION is starting to acquire -- SENSE?!?!?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
Bruce's PR regiment calls up the always pliable Edna, and suggests the cure for the nation's ills is to "GET RID OF THE PRESIDENT"!
I think if we got rid of USAOKAY!!!!! and its legions of press agents that would do more good!
I think if we got rid of USAOKAY!!!!! and its legions of press agents that would do more good!
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
I give Benedict some credit. Not from him do we get the inane God of American optimism, the deity of American politics who is always compassionate and on our side and will make everything just wonderful if only we put our faith in him. This is the Chamber of Commerce God of George W. Bush and sometimes, when Bush talks that way, I want to scream "Auschwitz!" at him. Auschwitz! Mr. President, have you ever heard of Auschwitz?
I understand what Richard Cohen's saying. But for all Dubya's shortcomings we should not blame him for Auschwitz. Our age merely bulges with the kind of "leaders" who speak before they think, and never have to think.
I understand what Richard Cohen's saying. But for all Dubya's shortcomings we should not blame him for Auschwitz. Our age merely bulges with the kind of "leaders" who speak before they think, and never have to think.
At least one member of a group of terror suspects plotted to storm Canada's parliament and behead officials, including the prime minister, if Muslim prisoners in Canada and Afghanistan were not released, according to charges made public Tuesday.
Shouldn't that read "M----m"?
Still have your -- heads in the sands, Canadians? EH?
A Muslim leader who knew the oldest suspect, 43-year-old Qayyum Abdul Jamal, told The Associated Press that his sermons at a local mosque were "filled with hate" against Canada.
Maybe he was still mad the NHL season was canceled.
Shouldn't that read "M----m"?
Still have your -- heads in the sands, Canadians? EH?
A Muslim leader who knew the oldest suspect, 43-year-old Qayyum Abdul Jamal, told The Associated Press that his sermons at a local mosque were "filled with hate" against Canada.
Maybe he was still mad the NHL season was canceled.
Robert "Over the" Hilburn has a new name, and it's Christopher Knight! We do not know why this now-painted over masterwork rivals the Mona Lisa or the Sistine Chapel, but it does not take much of an imagination to see our impassioned hack defending a wallful of graffi -- AHT painted over. But then being a NEWS HACK requires NO imagination -- or brains. The word effete seems to have been invented just for typists like Christopher Knight, and thanks to such effusions fewer people take "cri-TICS" seriously anymore.
Wanna bet this expulsion inspires a "restoration" project -- at enormous TAXPAYER expense?
Instead of popping half a billion dollars into some swank real estate in Washington so we can be just like every other industry and trade group in the history of America, what if we put half a billion dollars into literacy programs?
Because, in the essentials, you are just like every other industry and trade group in the history of America.
(Via the insuperable Romy)
Because, in the essentials, you are just like every other industry and trade group in the history of America.
(Via the insuperable Romy)
The parallels between Robbins and Bernstein, throughout their lives, were many. Aside from their backgrounds and sexual orientations, they were part of what must have been a thrilling group of young people in the 1940's, boldly oblivious to any snobbish separation of high and low art, caught up in social idealism, convinced they were making great work, which they were.
And next to this story, on both pages: an ad for The Wedding Singer. Nuf said.
And next to this story, on both pages: an ad for The Wedding Singer. Nuf said.
Juxtaposition of the Day, on ArtsJournal.com:
Claim: Mozart Helps You See Better
A Device That Can "Hear" Everything
Now we can be omniscient!
Claim: Mozart Helps You See Better
A Device That Can "Hear" Everything
Now we can be omniscient!
G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE has another brainstorm: a spreadsheet you store on the Web!
Excel is safe for now.
(Via MediaBistro)
Excel is safe for now.
(Via MediaBistro)
Jeez -- how COULD we have missed THIS Romy entry just before it:
J-schools should partner with computer-science departments
BUGMEISTER BILL! You have COMPETITION!
J-schools should partner with computer-science departments
BUGMEISTER BILL! You have COMPETITION!
Investors in Philly newspapers not looking for quick profit
TRANSLATION: 1. They've resigned themselves to Craigslist and 2. There'll be layoffs when they decide the profits aren't quick enough.
TRANSLATION: 1. They've resigned themselves to Craigslist and 2. There'll be layoffs when they decide the profits aren't quick enough.
It will now cost to download Jay Leno’s monologues and comedy sketches on iTunes.
There goes THAT experiment!
There goes THAT experiment!
Simon, the FIREBRAND of ADAGE, has a PROBLEM with the FCC:
THOSE WHO WOULD CONDESCEND TO THE AMERICAN PUBLIC -- DECIDING THAT MORE AND MORE THINGS ARE "DIRTY" AND THAT EVERYONE, INCLUDING GROWN MEN AND WOMEN, MUST SIMPLY NOT BE ALLOWED TO WATCH OR HEAR THEM UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES -- ARE OFTEN THE ONES WITH THE MOST PITIABLE PSYCHOSEXUAL ISSUES!!!!!
I suspect the ad biz has a three-volume thick list of "issues" past and present, PSYCHOSEXUAL and otherwise; and I'm not sure, in any case, we should pay much attention to a trade-rag typist covering a biz whose primary m.o. is LYING.
(Via MediaBistro.com. AdAge.com is another site that has recently "improved" itself -- in this case, making things harder to find -- so we haven't posted from it as often. Maybe we should start posting again.)
THOSE WHO WOULD CONDESCEND TO THE AMERICAN PUBLIC -- DECIDING THAT MORE AND MORE THINGS ARE "DIRTY" AND THAT EVERYONE, INCLUDING GROWN MEN AND WOMEN, MUST SIMPLY NOT BE ALLOWED TO WATCH OR HEAR THEM UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES -- ARE OFTEN THE ONES WITH THE MOST PITIABLE PSYCHOSEXUAL ISSUES!!!!!
I suspect the ad biz has a three-volume thick list of "issues" past and present, PSYCHOSEXUAL and otherwise; and I'm not sure, in any case, we should pay much attention to a trade-rag typist covering a biz whose primary m.o. is LYING.
(Via MediaBistro.com. AdAge.com is another site that has recently "improved" itself -- in this case, making things harder to find -- so we haven't posted from it as often. Maybe we should start posting again.)
SHUCKS, Michelle MSed the cut. Now we'll have to wait until next year to overreport and beat us on the head again.
Yes, it's sad that people die trying to cross our border. Maybe if we knew what we were doing keeping them out they wouldn't die.
La Resistencia...Indymedia...DiscovertheNetworks.org...MotherJones.org...AlterNet...Obviously ST. WARREN's cherubim must think we don't know what a computer is, or that Google doesn't exist. And these same oafs are about to open their WHOLE SITE to COMMENTS. HAVE AT 'EM, BOYS!
P. S. I forgot DiscovertheNetworks is part of DAVID HOROWITZ!!!!!!!!!!' network, but just as well; it still shows we're on the GOOD side.
La Resistencia...Indymedia...DiscovertheNetworks.org...MotherJones.org...AlterNet...Obviously ST. WARREN's cherubim must think we don't know what a computer is, or that Google doesn't exist. And these same oafs are about to open their WHOLE SITE to COMMENTS. HAVE AT 'EM, BOYS!
P. S. I forgot DiscovertheNetworks is part of DAVID HOROWITZ!!!!!!!!!!' network, but just as well; it still shows we're on the GOOD side.
The new, improved DUBYA offers all carrot and no stick.
And while we're at it why don't we set up a direct link between Tehran and the Pentagon? You know, a joint military task force. That might improve relations.
The Abramoffs have been VERY busy.
And while we're at it why don't we set up a direct link between Tehran and the Pentagon? You know, a joint military task force. That might improve relations.
The Abramoffs have been VERY busy.
Monday, June 05, 2006
GREG WANTS HADITHA ON EVERY FRONT PAGE EVERY DAMN DAY!!!!! THIS IS THE WORST ATROCITY IN THE HISTORY OF WARFARE!!!!! THIS IS A COVERUP UP IN THE WORKS!!!!! THIS IS...
This is Greg being the usual unbiased non-partisan ass.
(Via the unavoidable ROMY, whom we'd gather is pretty agitated himself)
This is Greg being the usual unbiased non-partisan ass.
(Via the unavoidable ROMY, whom we'd gather is pretty agitated himself)
DOW 36,000 comes out AGAINST OFFICE WEB SURFING?
Getting into a fight involving THE PROFESSOR is useless, but several things are obvious: 1. If people didn't waste their time surfing they'd waste it doing something else. 2. $178 BILLION sounds like the kind of stat someone invents to milk the taxpayer. 3. Any company with a good Web policy will have antivirus and anti-spyware programs on every computer and prod the employees to use them.
Web browsing in the workplace should not be unlimited. Porn sites should be completely verboten, as should sending large video files and pirating any copyrighted material. So should trashing your bosses and coworkers on blogs. The answer to alleged "productivity" problems is not computer lockdowns.
Getting into a fight involving THE PROFESSOR is useless, but several things are obvious: 1. If people didn't waste their time surfing they'd waste it doing something else. 2. $178 BILLION sounds like the kind of stat someone invents to milk the taxpayer. 3. Any company with a good Web policy will have antivirus and anti-spyware programs on every computer and prod the employees to use them.
Web browsing in the workplace should not be unlimited. Porn sites should be completely verboten, as should sending large video files and pirating any copyrighted material. So should trashing your bosses and coworkers on blogs. The answer to alleged "productivity" problems is not computer lockdowns.
The savior of Venezuela suffers a setback.
It says something that Peruvians would rather have an "ex-leader tarnished by failure" than redistributed wealth.
It says something that Peruvians would rather have an "ex-leader tarnished by failure" than redistributed wealth.
The Iranian government has already started its crackdown on the Web. Its Revolutionary Guard recently bought technology to jam signals, a frequent tactic.
Many sites, including the BBC's popular Farsi service, have been blocked and filtered (often using North American-made software).
Yahoo!, Google, Cisco Systems, BUGMEISTER BILL -- do I smell some more rope-selling?
(Via The Corner)
Many sites, including the BBC's popular Farsi service, have been blocked and filtered (often using North American-made software).
Yahoo!, Google, Cisco Systems, BUGMEISTER BILL -- do I smell some more rope-selling?
(Via The Corner)
Sunday, June 04, 2006
More from the earthshaking truth tellers of the ASSociated Press:
Alex Toth, a maverick comic artist who designed classic Hanna Barbera [sic] adventure cartoons such as The Superfriends [sic] and Space Ghost, has died.
We will presume Mr. Toth was pretty good at what he did, but we must say this is probably the first time a writer has mated "classic" and Super Friends, and we hope it is the last.
This, however, is definitely NOT the last time an ASSociated Press writer will use "classic", not with Sandys around.
Alex Toth, a maverick comic artist who designed classic Hanna Barbera [sic] adventure cartoons such as The Superfriends [sic] and Space Ghost, has died.
We will presume Mr. Toth was pretty good at what he did, but we must say this is probably the first time a writer has mated "classic" and Super Friends, and we hope it is the last.
This, however, is definitely NOT the last time an ASSociated Press writer will use "classic", not with Sandys around.
Really Sandy, is running press releases like this worth it? You typists bombard us with press releases day and night. You may say, what's one more? Well, one more is one less serious story we get exposed to. One more is one less chance to tell us what we should know. One more means we'll be less informed. One more means you folk get to whine at CONFERENCES blasting the public for being ill-informed.
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD to SANDY!
P. S. Yes, we note the by-line. The Wizard of Oz was once filmed there. Now crummy press releases get typed there.
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD to SANDY!
P. S. Yes, we note the by-line. The Wizard of Oz was once filmed there. Now crummy press releases get typed there.
This is not to say MR. MARK is falling back on his heavy responsibilities to society: He asked fifteen top thinkers to come up with ideas for "recharging" America -- and they didn't let him down. The fifteen ideas:
1. We Need to Fix Our Schools!
2. Spend More on Research!
3. Change the Culture! ("It's time to emphasize creativity in technology and science." We're so proud of you, ESTHER!)
4. View Rivals As Partners!
5. Look Beyond Political Labels! (MARK WARNER talking.)
6. Focus on the New Age of Creators! (Did Paul Saffo have any idea what he meant? Of course! He was writing for MR. MARK!)
7. Bring Back Those Offshore Jobs! (Good luck!)
8. Cut Out the Bullying! (From the CEO of REALNETWORKS, which has a history of bullying its users with SPYWARE.)
9. Let's Extend the R&D Tax Cut More! (A "deputy secretary of Commerce." Figures.)
10. Don't Let the Big Guys Take Over! (This from MR. CRAIGSLIST, who must dream every other day of the IPO.)
11. Get a Handle on All That Data! (From the director of the San Diego Computer Center. Yeah.)
12. See Immigration As a Strength! (Well it depends on how many -- and from WHERE.)
13. Wake Up About Stem Cells! (Aw, did you have to throw in PC, Mr. Mark? We were amused up till now!)
14. Face Up to Fiscal Realities! (Does that have anything to do with the R&D tax cut? Didn't think so.)
And last but not least in this cavalcade of deep brain exercising:
15. Give All Children A Good Education!
These fifteen brilliant ideas will resound through America's corridors for all time! We thank you humbly, MR. MARK!!!!!
Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffft!
P. S. And don't do it again! It was a LOT of copying and pasting.
1. We Need to Fix Our Schools!
2. Spend More on Research!
3. Change the Culture! ("It's time to emphasize creativity in technology and science." We're so proud of you, ESTHER!)
4. View Rivals As Partners!
5. Look Beyond Political Labels! (MARK WARNER talking.)
6. Focus on the New Age of Creators! (Did Paul Saffo have any idea what he meant? Of course! He was writing for MR. MARK!)
7. Bring Back Those Offshore Jobs! (Good luck!)
8. Cut Out the Bullying! (From the CEO of REALNETWORKS, which has a history of bullying its users with SPYWARE.)
9. Let's Extend the R&D Tax Cut More! (A "deputy secretary of Commerce." Figures.)
10. Don't Let the Big Guys Take Over! (This from MR. CRAIGSLIST, who must dream every other day of the IPO.)
11. Get a Handle on All That Data! (From the director of the San Diego Computer Center. Yeah.)
12. See Immigration As a Strength! (Well it depends on how many -- and from WHERE.)
13. Wake Up About Stem Cells! (Aw, did you have to throw in PC, Mr. Mark? We were amused up till now!)
14. Face Up to Fiscal Realities! (Does that have anything to do with the R&D tax cut? Didn't think so.)
And last but not least in this cavalcade of deep brain exercising:
15. Give All Children A Good Education!
These fifteen brilliant ideas will resound through America's corridors for all time! We thank you humbly, MR. MARK!!!!!
Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffft!
P. S. And don't do it again! It was a LOT of copying and pasting.
We'd like to know how the newsrags are prepared. Do the top editors of Tweedledee and Tweedledum gather at the Four Seasons, over as spendthrift a lunch as their expense accounts will afford (we suspect these days ST. WARREN would pick up more of the tab), and not only divvy up the cover stories, but exactly with what level of political spin to push them? Do they nosh with show-biz tycoons to see which properties they'll sell that week? Do they agree on exactly what NOT to say in their rags? Of course not. But sometimes it seems exactly that way.
Great minds think alike.
And here's a brief sample of what they might talk over at the Four Seasons, if they did:
Chalk up a diplomatic win for the White House. President Bush's surprise offer last week to talk to Tehran yielded breakthroughs that have momentarily quelled fears of U.S. military action against the Iranian regime.
Whew! The forces of reason conquer all. What did Henry's liars have to say about NEVILLE CHAMBERLAIN? Something the TWXSTERS would censor, no doubt.
Great minds think alike.
And here's a brief sample of what they might talk over at the Four Seasons, if they did:
Chalk up a diplomatic win for the White House. President Bush's surprise offer last week to talk to Tehran yielded breakthroughs that have momentarily quelled fears of U.S. military action against the Iranian regime.
Whew! The forces of reason conquer all. What did Henry's liars have to say about NEVILLE CHAMBERLAIN? Something the TWXSTERS would censor, no doubt.