THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
Blogroll Me!
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Saturday, October 16, 2010
TNR was in a bad mood this week -- first, it discovered BALLET is "DYING"! Then it discovered "the West" can't build ARCS DU TRIOMPHE anymore! Of course ballet is dying; Tchaikovsky stopped writing ballets 117 years ago, and the last one with a decent score is Fancy Free. Despite attempts to ballet to rock you can't write a JERRY SPRINGER ballet. And so what remains is the same old moves and anorexia and the fact ballet is even more gay than theater. Our culture loses when a profound art form like ballet does not live, but then jazz has been a corpse for so long we no longer notice because (to quote ourselves again) it has no smell. As for noble monuments -- who in his right mind would put up a noble monument to, say, the Iraq war? We've lost that ability to daydream that Napoleon and his heirs had, and without daydreams we cannot have monuments, but then without daydreams we have no future. And that's why our culture reeks with no smell too.
HAIRSPRAY 2: WHITE LIPSTICK; HALLOWEEN 3D; a "MODERN-DAY retelling" of HAMLET; HANCOCK 2; TWO VERSIONS of Hansel and Gretel; HAPPY FEET 2; HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PART I!!!!!!!!!; HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PART II!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!; a REMAKE of HEAVY METAL; HITMAN 2; HOODWINKED 2; an animation called Hop (also called IHOP; we hope it pancakes); something called Horrible Bosses (SLIME, SUMNER, JEFF BEW-KES, UB IGER -- shall we go on?); something called How Can You Do This to Me? (but they do, again and again and again); HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 2....
Next, the letter I -- the movee biz' middle name.
Next, the letter I -- the movee biz' middle name.
Let's see, what shall it be: "THE PUBLIC BE DAMNED!!!!!" or "A PLAGUE O' BOTH YOUR HOUSES!!!!!"?
Looks like a toss-up.
Fox is owned by News Corp., owner of The Wall Street Journal. [Second sentence, second graf]
Boasting as usual, SLIME?
(Via Seeking Alpha)
Looks like a toss-up.
Fox is owned by News Corp., owner of The Wall Street Journal. [Second sentence, second graf]
Boasting as usual, SLIME?
(Via Seeking Alpha)
And a story like this wouldn't matter except that just as nature abhors a vacuum, so do news hacks, and in the absence of any numbers of videogame sales the hacks can do the USAOKAY!!!!! and invent them, and try to make a BIG SALES GAIN!!!!! where none may exist. In short, they'll lie even harder than usual, and synergistically.
And a story like this can't be entirely credible because it's written by MR. JOURNOLIST, but if we take it as a friend talking to his friends it's not too objectionable.
And this relentless driving of such things into our dear little ear, not to mention the inescapable notion that the nation's Democratic Party PR bureaus -- er, its news suites will be funeral homes, cemeteries, mausoleums draped in miles of black crepe the day after election day, explains why even a story like this doesn't pass the smell test. If Michael (whose last name is a guarantee of a permanent job at PEOPLE WARNER MAGAZINES) hadn't framed it from the start as a political thing it might have been credible, and even then we'd have wondered if this was wind-power lobbyists speaking. But because news hacks are infallible they can do the little things that rile the bulk of their readership and ensure that no one would believe their typing if the Lord God vouched for it.
The BS continues at William Dean How-WELL's rag's Web site:
MODERATE!!!!! Republicans Test Party Unity [Moderate overemphasis added]
Besides fiscal policy--which is as anti-Obama as it gets--Bass' pitch to voters is different from what most Republican challengers are offering this year. On abortion, he's pro-choice. On Speaker Nancy Pelosi, her lieutenants, and their environmental and energy policies: he's prepared to sit at the table and hammer out solutions.... [Third graf]
Besides [SIC] being pro-choice, many of these Northeastern Republicans are pro gay marriage and want to unwind the military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy. Many support federal funding for stem cell research, want to see global warming taken more seriously, and oppose privatizing social security. [Tenth graf]
TRANSLATION: They're liberals, or at best GLIBERTARIANS, which is essentially the same thing. There's nothing wrong in calling such people liberals. If Mr. How-WELL's hacks had hedded this "Liberal Republicans Test Party Unity" we'd have had no objection. But that code word MODERATE is a sign of a news hack trying to pull one on his audience, and that is why so many news hacks will think their biz was brought down by the DO-NOT-CALL LAW until the last paper is printed.
MODERATE!!!!! Republicans Test Party Unity [Moderate overemphasis added]
Besides fiscal policy--which is as anti-Obama as it gets--Bass' pitch to voters is different from what most Republican challengers are offering this year. On abortion, he's pro-choice. On Speaker Nancy Pelosi, her lieutenants, and their environmental and energy policies: he's prepared to sit at the table and hammer out solutions.... [Third graf]
Besides [SIC] being pro-choice, many of these Northeastern Republicans are pro gay marriage and want to unwind the military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy. Many support federal funding for stem cell research, want to see global warming taken more seriously, and oppose privatizing social security. [Tenth graf]
TRANSLATION: They're liberals, or at best GLIBERTARIANS, which is essentially the same thing. There's nothing wrong in calling such people liberals. If Mr. How-WELL's hacks had hedded this "Liberal Republicans Test Party Unity" we'd have had no objection. But that code word MODERATE is a sign of a news hack trying to pull one on his audience, and that is why so many news hacks will think their biz was brought down by the DO-NOT-CALL LAW until the last paper is printed.
Friday, October 15, 2010
India worries that troubled Commonwealth Games wounded its reputation
Not to worry -- we'll still outsource jobs to you...if we have any jobs left.
Not to worry -- we'll still outsource jobs to you...if we have any jobs left.
GI JOE 2; something called Generation Um (the story of a screenwriter?); LUKE SPIELBERG'S THREATENED GERSHWIN BIOPIC (who the hell is ZACHARY QUINTO?); Get Happy, A JUDY GARLAND BIOPIC starring Anne Hathaway (?!?!?); GET SMART 2; something called Getting to Happy, A SEQUEL TO WAITING TO EXHALE; Ghost in the Shell, a 3D live-action remake of A JAPANESE MANGA; GHOST RIDER: SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE; GHOSTBUSTERS 3; GODZILLA (AGAIN?!?!?); GREEN LANTERN; another remake of GULLIVER'S TRAVELS; GUNSMOKE....
H is next (a shame ST. JACK OF VALENTI didn't create an H rating, to stand for the four-letter place where movees come from), but before we go:
Zachary Quinto.
George Gershwin.
SPOCK.
H is next (a shame ST. JACK OF VALENTI didn't create an H rating, to stand for the four-letter place where movees come from), but before we go:
Zachary Quinto.
George Gershwin.
SPOCK.
Public option effort could be revived if Democrats keep majorities, Clyburn says
The Republicans say, thank you!
The Republicans say, thank you!
JOHN SIMON ATTACKS A CON-SER-VA-TIVE PLAYWRIGHT!
The dialogue is awash in platitudes proffered as profundities, statements promptly and needlessly repeated identically or nearly, awkward or portentous pauses, and lines that are mere superfluous monosyllables or even less: “Mmm,” now and then with something added, occurs 35 times.
Jo-NAH! He cant DO this to a genius -- because he's CON-SER-VA-TIVE!!!!!
The dialogue is awash in platitudes proffered as profundities, statements promptly and needlessly repeated identically or nearly, awkward or portentous pauses, and lines that are mere superfluous monosyllables or even less: “Mmm,” now and then with something added, occurs 35 times.
Jo-NAH! He cant DO this to a genius -- because he's CON-SER-VA-TIVE!!!!!
A TRIUMPH FOR RENDELLISM: Because Bill Cosby University refused to build dorms for students, it forced them into the surrounding neighborhood, meaning it got gentrified! A ghetto neighborhood GENTRIFIED!
Now all BCU has to do is increase its enrollment to 800,000 and Philly will have NO MORE GHETTO!
Now all BCU has to do is increase its enrollment to 800,000 and Philly will have NO MORE GHETTO!
Hezbollah's gift for Ahmadinejad: An Israeli rifle
You keep it up, NUKEMAN, and that's not the only Israeli gift you'll be getting.
You keep it up, NUKEMAN, and that's not the only Israeli gift you'll be getting.
We're all for topless women in public, within reason, and we'd like to think the force behind this referendum in Mass. isn't too bad looking herself, but alas, we spit into the gale of a public that prefers its women clothed, and into the reality that many people ought to keep their birthday suits on the rack.
And yes, there are more important things to think about right now.
And yes, there are more important things to think about right now.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Ambani does not appear to be influenced by calls by the Indian prime minister, Manmohan Singh, for business leaders to be "role models of moderation".
Which should make the owner of The Ugliest Building in the World the perfect model for CONSERVATIVES.
Which should make the owner of The Ugliest Building in the World the perfect model for CONSERVATIVES.
An embarrassed Chicago Election Board will spend the money and time to re-program and re-test 4,200 electronic voting machines to correct a spelling error that changed the last name of Green Party gubernatorial candidate Rich Whitney to "Whitey."
If the mistake had been anything other than "Whitey" in a city with a history of racial politics, the costly correction might not have been necessary, officials said.
Well, we could think of a few other non-racial examples but no further comment.
If the mistake had been anything other than "Whitey" in a city with a history of racial politics, the costly correction might not have been necessary, officials said.
Well, we could think of a few other non-racial examples but no further comment.
Bank of America hiring small biz bankers
BUT (and with such a big butt there must be a big BUT):
Credit lines and loans to small companies were slashed during the Great Recession. Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke recently estimated that $40 billion worth of loans to small businesses disappeared.
Bank of America played its part in the decline. Like many banks, it makes loans through the Small Business Administration's government-banked lending programs. Those loans represent a very small portion of overall small business lending, but they are an easily tracked indicator of a bank's lending activity -- and Bank of America has pulled back sharply.
In 2008, Bank of America made 3,296 loans totaling $102.3 million through the SBA's flagship 7(a) loan program. Many went bad: Ken Lewis, then the company's CEO, infamously called the bank's small business loan portfolio a "damn disaster." In 2009, at the height of the credit crisis, the financial giant made just 308 SBA loans, totaling $17.6 million.
Its lending barely picked up in 2010. In the SBA fiscal year that ended Sept. 30, Bank of America made 185 7(a) loans, totaling $22.8 million.
BUT (and with such a big butt there must be a big BUT):
Credit lines and loans to small companies were slashed during the Great Recession. Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke recently estimated that $40 billion worth of loans to small businesses disappeared.
Bank of America played its part in the decline. Like many banks, it makes loans through the Small Business Administration's government-banked lending programs. Those loans represent a very small portion of overall small business lending, but they are an easily tracked indicator of a bank's lending activity -- and Bank of America has pulled back sharply.
In 2008, Bank of America made 3,296 loans totaling $102.3 million through the SBA's flagship 7(a) loan program. Many went bad: Ken Lewis, then the company's CEO, infamously called the bank's small business loan portfolio a "damn disaster." In 2009, at the height of the credit crisis, the financial giant made just 308 SBA loans, totaling $17.6 million.
Its lending barely picked up in 2010. In the SBA fiscal year that ended Sept. 30, Bank of America made 185 7(a) loans, totaling $22.8 million.
Another reason to celebrate G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE at $10,000 and Facebook at $20 trillion, second graf first:
Kathleen Edward, who has Huntington's disease — a fatal brain disorder — had been taunted by neighbors in Trenton, both verbally and on Facebook.
Fortunately in the first graf she "received the royal treatment this morning: a limo ride and toy shopping spree.
The Web has made hate faster -- and thankfully when hate comes faster, love comes faster still.
Kathleen Edward, who has Huntington's disease — a fatal brain disorder — had been taunted by neighbors in Trenton, both verbally and on Facebook.
Fortunately in the first graf she "received the royal treatment this morning: a limo ride and toy shopping spree.
The Web has made hate faster -- and thankfully when hate comes faster, love comes faster still.
Before ST. JACK OF VALENTI, before RUPERT and SUMNER, there was the Colosseum. One can see the latter producing the gruesome spectacles there and the former justifying the slaughter of Christians in the Senate. Today a bit more of it is open to the public -- but not the whole thing, given its precarious state brought on by centuries of neglect and weather. Despite its hideous past the Colosseum is precisely what Poe had in mind, but we should never forget that Roman glory came at an incalculable price, paid for with the collapse of a corrupt and bankrupt empire.
A FAMILY GUY MOVIE; FANTASTIC FOUR REBORN (?!?); FAST AND FURIOUS 5; something called Fiasco Heights (not ANOTHER industry satire!); FINAL DESTINATION 5; a REMAKE of FOOTLOOSE; a MOVEE version of FRAGGLE ROCK; something called FRANKENWEENIE (no, it's NOT a JUDD APATOW movee about an artificially built talking penis, although we're sure he's been thinking); something called FREAKY MONDAY; FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2 (?!?!?!?!?); a REMAKE of FRIGHT NIGHT; something called Full Metal Panic, a live-action version of A JAPANESE MANGA....
The industry's SCARLET LETTER next...
The industry's SCARLET LETTER next...
LUNACY TODAY! LUNACY TOMORROW!!!!!
Here's betting tomorrow the BIG C's filled with HENRY HONESTS!!!!! talking 1,000 or higher. If that happens we can be sure something unpleasant is down the road at the Wall Street Casino -- and the Casino can't think unpleasant thoughts without wreaking revenge on US.
P. S. at 7:37 p. m. AND LUNACY ON TUESDAY!!!!!!!!!!
Here's betting tomorrow the BIG C's filled with HENRY HONESTS!!!!! talking 1,000 or higher. If that happens we can be sure something unpleasant is down the road at the Wall Street Casino -- and the Casino can't think unpleasant thoughts without wreaking revenge on US.
P. S. at 7:37 p. m. AND LUNACY ON TUESDAY!!!!!!!!!!
The exclamation point in this story is that John Elway lost millions in a Ponzi scheme -- but look further down:
Among Mueller's investors were former Janus Fund manager Blaine Rollins, who worked for Mueller Capital Management as director of research. Rollins' attorney has said he had no knowledge of the alleged Ponzi scheme.
Another investor was R. Scot Sellers, chief executive of Centennial-based Archstone, a real estate investment trust. Sellers earned $19.6 million in 2006, Forbes reported.
James Burke and Stephen Creamer, executives with Denver-based High Sierra Energy LP, invested with Mueller, according to Dow Jones Newswires.
Other investors were car-dealership owners and executives from the automotive- sales industry, including Todd Maul of Broomfield, a former AutoNation executive; and Edward Calus of Cherry Hills Village, who sold Elway a Nissan dealership in 1997.
Any wonder the stock market's daydreaming? Any wonder the foreclosure business is such a mess?
(Via Yahoo! Sports)
Among Mueller's investors were former Janus Fund manager Blaine Rollins, who worked for Mueller Capital Management as director of research. Rollins' attorney has said he had no knowledge of the alleged Ponzi scheme.
Another investor was R. Scot Sellers, chief executive of Centennial-based Archstone, a real estate investment trust. Sellers earned $19.6 million in 2006, Forbes reported.
James Burke and Stephen Creamer, executives with Denver-based High Sierra Energy LP, invested with Mueller, according to Dow Jones Newswires.
Other investors were car-dealership owners and executives from the automotive- sales industry, including Todd Maul of Broomfield, a former AutoNation executive; and Edward Calus of Cherry Hills Village, who sold Elway a Nissan dealership in 1997.
Any wonder the stock market's daydreaming? Any wonder the foreclosure business is such a mess?
(Via Yahoo! Sports)
Googling KAPLAN, INC. -- which is having a TERRIFIC day because the FOR-PROFIT-ED BIZ is BACK IN THE NEWS -- we see that TOMTASTIC is either quitting or has been fired from The Daily Kaplan! Now to finally get a decent writer on the teevee beat, though knowing the beat that is mere hope springing eternal, and the spring dried up long ago.
Speaking of for profit, some Republican has proposed what sounds like a Caveat Emptor for For-Profit-College-Students Act! Expect more such shenanigans from BANEHEAD and MITCH. Hey guys, better not sit too comfortably on your majorities -- we don't like you EITHER.
Speaking of for profit, some Republican has proposed what sounds like a Caveat Emptor for For-Profit-College-Students Act! Expect more such shenanigans from BANEHEAD and MITCH. Hey guys, better not sit too comfortably on your majorities -- we don't like you EITHER.
Speaking of capitalism, CVS is paying a $75 million fine to the Feds for causing a "spike" in the methamphetamine trade "in Southern California". This will happen when you operate 500,000 drug stores. We're just surprised Walgreen or Rong-Aid didn't do this sort of thing first.
Capitalism Saved the Miners
Count on THE WALL STREET JOURNALS CONSERVATIVE EDITION to turn this into A POLITICAL STORY.
(Via the usual dolts at NRO)
Count on THE WALL STREET JOURNALS CONSERVATIVE EDITION to turn this into A POLITICAL STORY.
(Via the usual dolts at NRO)
The GAMES Committee just sent a letter to the entire executive staff at Oak Brook -- your three-month vacations in Russia are safe.
P. S.
McDonald's moved into the Oak Brook facility from an office within the Chicago Loop in 1971.[9]
AMERICA'S MOST PC QUASI-GOVERNMENTAL BIG BUSINESS!
P. S.
McDonald's moved into the Oak Brook facility from an office within the Chicago Loop in 1971.[9]
AMERICA'S MOST PC QUASI-GOVERNMENTAL BIG BUSINESS!
Fifty-six Democrats and RON!!!!! PAUL!!!!! call for cutting defense. Nothing should be sacrosanct in our budget, and therein lies a problem for Republicans. But Dems would never think of cutting anything BUT defense, and therein lies next month's electoral disaster.
The Democratic Party -- dominated by EXTREMISTS?
If this doesn't redefine the word insight!
Well, that's okay -- when BANEHEAD takes over he'll just lease the House to all his party's friends in big business and among the megarich, just like Realtor Denny, and we'll find new villains, and maybe a new party.
If this doesn't redefine the word insight!
Well, that's okay -- when BANEHEAD takes over he'll just lease the House to all his party's friends in big business and among the megarich, just like Realtor Denny, and we'll find new villains, and maybe a new party.
BULLETIN U.S. initial jobless claims rise to 462,000, up 13,000 in latest week
DOW 100 GIGAHEXAMEGAKAZILLION QUADRILLION!!!!!!!!!!
DOW 100 GIGAHEXAMEGAKAZILLION QUADRILLION!!!!!!!!!!
That National Lampoon exists solely as a penny stock somewhat disproves Andrew Ferguson's line that in comedy the bad can drive out the good; the bad can also turn inward and eat itself.
But to be sure, the bad would have been impossible without National Lampoon whatever the title of a book.
(Via WeeklyStandard.com)
But to be sure, the bad would have been impossible without National Lampoon whatever the title of a book.
(Via WeeklyStandard.com)
THE MASTER teaches us, "Human life is everywhere a state in which much is to be endured, and little to be enjoyed." The story of the Chilean miners can at least teach hope and patience to a world with so little of them.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
ENCHANTED 2; something called Everybody Loves Whales ("Drew Barrymore will play a Greenpeace activist in [the fillum], based on real events. The Soviet Union and the U.S. teamed up to save three gray whales trapped under ice in the Arctic Circle. The event lent to increased goodwill between President Reagan and Mikhail Gorbachev." Can't you guys cut the fiction? You cut the COMEDY.); EVIL DEAD 4 [?!?!?]....
Tomorrow -- the Fs, and there are more of THOSE.
Tomorrow -- the Fs, and there are more of THOSE.
We could say this is another Casino daydream but with GEKKO KUDLOWS in the management we can't dismiss anything, however absurd.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
A DARK SHADOWS movee, MR. BEAN in a DAVID COPPERFIELD remake, something called Daydream Nation (not ANOTHER Hollywood satire?!?!?), SLY (?!?!?) in a DEATH WISH remake, DIE HARD 5, a DIRTY DOZEN remake, an animation called DOROTHY OF OZ, something called DRACULA YEAR ZERO, a black comedy called Driving Lessons (presumably as it involves an "intense right-wing son"), a DUNE remake....
TWENTY-TWO LETTERS TO GO!
TWENTY-TWO LETTERS TO GO!
Bowl Half Empty? How to Tell If Your Dog Is a Pessimist
Another stirring argument, JEFF, for putting Your WHOLE RAG behind a WALL.
Another stirring argument, JEFF, for putting Your WHOLE RAG behind a WALL.
You know you're in the infant's-wear department of the nooz biz when the proprietor uses words like SHOCKING!!!!!!!!!! Listen HENRY HONEST!!!!!, whatever that fairy-godmother voice that whispers into the Street's ears told you we weren't born yesterday, and corruption in sports dates back to well before Joe couldn't say it ain't so. How does a biz with so many lepers, be they steroid poppers or serial electronic flashers, inspire such meaningless twaddle in the guy?
Oh, but we forget -- he applied his meaningless twaddle to AMAZON.COM.
P. S. Any story with 7,774 WORDS will inspire a coma before it inspires outrage, however credible.
Oh, but we forget -- he applied his meaningless twaddle to AMAZON.COM.
P. S. Any story with 7,774 WORDS will inspire a coma before it inspires outrage, however credible.
Look Bob, if you're going to yell the GOP relies on foreign campaign contributions, conservatives are within their rights to yell back that His Omnipotence is A SOCIALIST -- and it increasingly appears they're on firm ground.
KUDLOWISM STRONGER THAN EVER!!!!!
DELL INC. CHIEF EXECUTIVE MICHAEL DELL MAY BID TO BUY THE COMPUTER MAKER HE FOUNDED!!!!!, the head of hedge-fund firm Maverick Capital Management said Tuesday.
DELL COULD ALSO PAY A LARGE, SPECIAL DIVIDEND!!!!!, Lee Ainslie remarked during a speech at the Value Investing Congress in New York. [Value-investing overemphasis added]
Look guy, isn't DOW 11,000 a daydream enough for you Casino dealers?
(Via Seeking Alpha)
DELL INC. CHIEF EXECUTIVE MICHAEL DELL MAY BID TO BUY THE COMPUTER MAKER HE FOUNDED!!!!!, the head of hedge-fund firm Maverick Capital Management said Tuesday.
DELL COULD ALSO PAY A LARGE, SPECIAL DIVIDEND!!!!!, Lee Ainslie remarked during a speech at the Value Investing Congress in New York. [Value-investing overemphasis added]
Look guy, isn't DOW 11,000 a daydream enough for you Casino dealers?
(Via Seeking Alpha)
Healthcare lobbyists seek to repair relationship with Republicans
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!
ASININE: Losing in the marketplace, CHEAP CHANNEL and the recorded...SOUND biz are pushing GUVMENT to mandate FM tuners in cellphones. This is like the carriage business mandating automobiles be driven by horses. Such fraudulence combines our contempt for government with our contempt for BIGMEDIA in one swift stroke, and it takes the cake even for the BELTWAY.
"[T]he public safety benefits of having free and local radio's lifeline service in mobile devices is undeniable...."
As they know in MINOT, NORTH DAKOTA.
(Via the usual AHTSJournal)
"[T]he public safety benefits of having free and local radio's lifeline service in mobile devices is undeniable...."
As they know in MINOT, NORTH DAKOTA.
(Via the usual AHTSJournal)
Monday, October 11, 2010
We will hear no further of this stop-the-presses vote by the U. S. Commission on Civil Rights to let Attorney General and Chief Social Engineer Effete Q. Snob have it for his highly selective law "enforcement" -- doubly so when only The Washington Times reports it.
We wish we had written this but the point almost doesn't bear repeating, being counterpoint to everything political: Folks can rewrite Animal Farm hundreds of times, but today's revolutionaries almost always become tomorrow's reactionaries, and no aw-shucks of-the-people sloganeering can change it.
CARS 2; Cereal Heroes ("When the world's superheroes are defeated, a plan is hatched to give life to comic book characters in hopes of saving the world. The plan goes awry when several mascots from cereal boxes are brought to life. Ill-prepared for the battle, the mascots must figure out a way to save the world." Ill-prepared?!? With all those vitamins and minerals?!?!?); a "modern" remake of CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG; ESPNCORP "reimagining" CINDERELLA as A LIVE-ACTION FILM; CLASH OF THE TITANS 2; CLOVERFIELD 2; a REMAKE of CLUE; CONSTANTINE 2; something called Cover Girl (starring Rita Hayworth and Gene Kelly? Pffffffffffffft!); COWBOYS AND ALIENS....
Only twenty-three letters to go!
Long ago and far away....
Only twenty-three letters to go!
Long ago and far away....
TINY: Several weeks ago the Baltimore Sun ran an interesting story that spoke a truth too many in the MEDIA BIZ don't want spoken -- that with rare exceptions people don't care for its product anymore. This is no truer than with television, where the NFL is practically the only attraction to draw anywhere near a true mass audience. So when Nielsen tweaks its prime-time numbers you know EXACTLY what it's doing -- it's trying to talk the sugar daddies into burning even more money on junk television few people watch. Yes, we can make excuses for THE SECOND GREATEST POP-CULTURAL ACHIEVEMENT OF THE LAST QUARTER CENTURY, but six million is still only TWO PERCENT OF OUR POPULATION, meaning ninety-eight percent of us have learned to do without GENIUS -- and the more we can live without GENIUS the better off we can all be.
“Pay is the 800-pound gorilla on Wall Street,” Mr. Hintz said. “And the gorilla does not want to go on a diet.”
It can always eat the public alive.
It can always eat the public alive.
“They knew he was a bomber, and they knew his intent,” Mr. Foulkes said. “So I want them to be decent, honest and straight with me.”
Given this is the same neutered nation that released Cancer Man under BP's disinterested guidance that might be a bit much to expect.
Given this is the same neutered nation that released Cancer Man under BP's disinterested guidance that might be a bit much to expect.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
A remake of BARBARELLA (?!?); A BARBIE MOVEE (!!!!!); Barney's Version (just so long as it isn't that Barney); BATMAN 33 -- whoops -- 3 (it seems more like 333); a BATTLESTAR GALACTICA movee (Jo-NAAAAAAAAAAH!); Beautiful Boy; Beautiful Girl (to each his/her/its own); Better Living Through Chemistry (at least one chapter in the movee biz' history); Black Hole (by the team that's making Arrested Development?); Boo U. ("The animated film...centers on a ghost who is bad at frightening people and must return to ghost school." Translation: This was old before CASPER -- and we don't mean the MOVEE); BRIDGET JONES 3; ANOTHER BUCK ROGERS MOVEE; Butter ("Jennifer Garner will star in the comedy...set in the world of competitive butter sculpting." PAR-KAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!)....
Twenty-four more letters to go.
Twenty-four more letters to go.
ARCHDaily!
A $10 million underground air shaft -- er, chapel!
A mosque in DUBAI!!!!! that resembles -- we won't say.
STARCHITECTS say organized religion in all its guises has never been more dense.
A $10 million underground air shaft -- er, chapel!
A mosque in DUBAI!!!!! that resembles -- we won't say.
STARCHITECTS say organized religion in all its guises has never been more dense.
If it's Sunday it must be Big Double-A-Scribble Time:
1. The CRAINIACS document an active case of cognitive dissonance. On the one hand (if one can believe a mere poll) "tween" girls increasingly can't stand -- M---Y C---S. (That we believe.) On the other hand they're wearing more mascara. Well, at least their hearts are in the right place -- unless SUMNER and RUPERT get something else of theirs in the wrong place.
2. Media-Savvy Gen Y Finds Smart and Funny Is 'New Rock 'n' Roll'
P. S. We know what happened to rock 'n' roll.
3.
ENOUGH ABOUT THE CHAN-GING ROOOOOLES OF MEN. This has happened before. Remember George Washington showed more of his legs than the women.
4. Last Thursday, three days after Gap unveiled the logo, Ad Age asked Ipsos Observer to take the pulse of consumers on the issue. The independent research company polled consumers overnight Thursday, garnering just over 1,000 responses by 10 a.m. Friday.
All told, just 17% of consumers were even aware Gap had changed its logo -- some 80% said they had no idea the logo had changed (the remaining 3% said they didn't know what Gap was).
Why does one begin to suspect Gap engineered a reaction to its logo along with the logo? We've seen worse -- the PC doofus INDRA is the expert at that.
5.
'Urban' Trope Misses a Large Swath of Black Consumers
Middle-Class Images Abound, but Advertisers Are Ignoring Single Moms, Gays and Lower-Income African-Americans at Their Peril
This is a joke. Hasn't big business gone out of its way to ignore "lower-income African-Americans" on purpose?
1. The CRAINIACS document an active case of cognitive dissonance. On the one hand (if one can believe a mere poll) "tween" girls increasingly can't stand -- M---Y C---S. (That we believe.) On the other hand they're wearing more mascara. Well, at least their hearts are in the right place -- unless SUMNER and RUPERT get something else of theirs in the wrong place.
2. Media-Savvy Gen Y Finds Smart and Funny Is 'New Rock 'n' Roll'
P. S. We know what happened to rock 'n' roll.
3.
ENOUGH ABOUT THE CHAN-GING ROOOOOLES OF MEN. This has happened before. Remember George Washington showed more of his legs than the women.
4. Last Thursday, three days after Gap unveiled the logo, Ad Age asked Ipsos Observer to take the pulse of consumers on the issue. The independent research company polled consumers overnight Thursday, garnering just over 1,000 responses by 10 a.m. Friday.
All told, just 17% of consumers were even aware Gap had changed its logo -- some 80% said they had no idea the logo had changed (the remaining 3% said they didn't know what Gap was).
Why does one begin to suspect Gap engineered a reaction to its logo along with the logo? We've seen worse -- the PC doofus INDRA is the expert at that.
5.
'Urban' Trope Misses a Large Swath of Black Consumers
Middle-Class Images Abound, but Advertisers Are Ignoring Single Moms, Gays and Lower-Income African-Americans at Their Peril
This is a joke. Hasn't big business gone out of its way to ignore "lower-income African-Americans" on purpose?
A column like this makes us so happy StinkyInky Publishing -- er, MEDIA Co. emerged from bankruptcy.
Pfffffffffffffffffffffft!
Pfffffffffffffffffffffft!