THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
Blogroll Me!
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Saturday, March 05, 2005
The military are the BAD GUYS again: they "caused" the beaching of all those dolphins in Florida.
This is a classic kind of news hack story. People die every day, usually in ways that ought to concern JERNALISTS; but tragedies like this so knot up the hacks' nerves they can only seek relief by expressing themselves in hundreds of dispatches taking up millions of column inches -- another reason THE NEWS IS NO LONGER WORTH PAYING FOR.
P. S. I have commented before on Yahoo! News's instant junk polls. While they should not be taken seriously, I've come to believe a low rating means impatience with a story. But again, I wouldn't place too much emphasis on such junk -- or the NEWS HACKS' JUNK.
This is a classic kind of news hack story. People die every day, usually in ways that ought to concern JERNALISTS; but tragedies like this so knot up the hacks' nerves they can only seek relief by expressing themselves in hundreds of dispatches taking up millions of column inches -- another reason THE NEWS IS NO LONGER WORTH PAYING FOR.
P. S. I have commented before on Yahoo! News's instant junk polls. While they should not be taken seriously, I've come to believe a low rating means impatience with a story. But again, I wouldn't place too much emphasis on such junk -- or the NEWS HACKS' JUNK.
University of Colorado President Betsy Hoffman said a professor who compared Sept. 11 victims to Nazis will not be fired if a review turns up only inflammatory comments, not misconduct.
"If we find it is just about speech, there will be no action," Hoffman told the school's faculty assembly Thursday, adding that she feared a "new McCarthyism" was responsible for the uproar over Ward Churchill's essay.
TRANSLATION: If he were a mere conservative and did what Larry Summers did, we'd fire him.
Hoffman did not comment on published reports this week that the university was considering buying out Churchill's contract to end the firestorm over his essay.
I thought alumni only contributed to the FOOTBALL PROGRAM! (Pffh-hh-hh!)
"If we find it is just about speech, there will be no action," Hoffman told the school's faculty assembly Thursday, adding that she feared a "new McCarthyism" was responsible for the uproar over Ward Churchill's essay.
TRANSLATION: If he were a mere conservative and did what Larry Summers did, we'd fire him.
Hoffman did not comment on published reports this week that the university was considering buying out Churchill's contract to end the firestorm over his essay.
I thought alumni only contributed to the FOOTBALL PROGRAM! (Pffh-hh-hh!)
Oh dear oh dear oh dear, people are objecting to Bonnie Prince Charlie's WEDDING.
Is it the WEDDING they're objecting to?
Is it the WEDDING they're objecting to?
Democrats peek behind the WIZARD of OZ's curtain and see -- REPUBLICANS!
Harry Reid, THE PAPER OF RE-CORD, Paul Krugman, Tom Toles, THE DAILY KOS -- to me that's a good definition of OH, SHUT UP.
Harry Reid, THE PAPER OF RE-CORD, Paul Krugman, Tom Toles, THE DAILY KOS -- to me that's a good definition of OH, SHUT UP.
Oh jeez, doesn't this moron realize he's gotten $80 million in free publicity?
Corky Whatever-His-Her-and-or-Its-Name-Is is a finalist for the NEUHARTHISM OF THE YEAR award. Not only does he, she and/or it write PR, he, she and/or it cribs off the Web.
YOU'RE A FINALIST TOO, MORTIMER ZUCK.
Corky Whatever-His-Her-and-or-Its-Name-Is is a finalist for the NEUHARTHISM OF THE YEAR award. Not only does he, she and/or it write PR, he, she and/or it cribs off the Web.
YOU'RE A FINALIST TOO, MORTIMER ZUCK.
Keeping in mind this is government spin and The Washington Times, it is incredible that so many construction projects are going on in Iraq at once. This is progress. Of course all it takes to get a news hack's attention is a well-timed car bomb, and some equally well-timed STRINGERS. No amount of construction will solve that.
Friday, March 04, 2005
Did the BLOGGERS OF THE MILLENNIUM see THIS? I don't want too be fair to the LALATIMES or TRIB, but honest, this might not have even RUN five years ago. This is allegedly one of the "top e-mailed stories." NOTHING about NORTH KOREA.
Speaking of MMMMMMMMMMSSSSSSSSSSMMMMMMMMMM, NEWS HACKS are probably cursing that freed Italian reporter wasn't killed because then they could have carried this story for MONTHS. To be sure, we're "lucky" we didn't kill her; then again, there's always a PUNCHLINE to something like this:
Il Manifesto has fiercely criticized the war and Berlusconi's decision to deploy 3,000 troops after the ouster of Saddam Hussein.
On Feb. 19, tens of thousands of demonstrators marched through Rome waving rainbow peace flags to press for Sgrena's release. Il Manifesto and Sgrena's companion, Pier Scolari, organized the march. Scolari actively has highlighted Sgrena's pacifist conviction in hopes of aiding her release.
In short, with reports like this there's always the very high risk the reader will be used. What is the purpose of being "well-informed"?
Il Manifesto has fiercely criticized the war and Berlusconi's decision to deploy 3,000 troops after the ouster of Saddam Hussein.
On Feb. 19, tens of thousands of demonstrators marched through Rome waving rainbow peace flags to press for Sgrena's release. Il Manifesto and Sgrena's companion, Pier Scolari, organized the march. Scolari actively has highlighted Sgrena's pacifist conviction in hopes of aiding her release.
In short, with reports like this there's always the very high risk the reader will be used. What is the purpose of being "well-informed"?
The latest big stink from SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS is that the LALATIMES is selling North Korea. Were these clowns born yesterday? What do they expect from a paper run by a media capo who thinks JERNALISM a code? The very fact that SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOOGGERS bray so loud and often over MMMMMMMMMMSSSSSSSSSSMMMMMMMMMM says there's still life in those decrepit old women of ill repute left.
NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK FROM AN HONORARY ELECTED OFFICIAL!!!!!
'The Gates' bring $254 million to N.Y. economy
GUESS WHO'S RUNNING FOR HONORARY RE-ELECTION!!!!!!!!!!
'The Gates' bring $254 million to N.Y. economy
GUESS WHO'S RUNNING FOR HONORARY RE-ELECTION!!!!!!!!!!
IT'S GOTTA BE ROMY: James Wolcott calls Kurt "Kiss-Up" Andersen an empty suit, so Kurt calls Jim a has-been crank.
For once, I think the people on both sides of the table may be right.
For once, I think the people on both sides of the table may be right.
What is USAOKAY!!!!!!!!!! without ADVERTISING!!!!!!!!!!?
Good NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK, Sue. The FOUNDER HIMSELF should bless you.
Good NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK, Sue. The FOUNDER HIMSELF should bless you.
Thursday, March 03, 2005
WHOOPEE: Iran is building a nuclear reactor, which (according to GOOGLE NEWS) merits 2,321 FEWER POSTS than MICHAEL JACKSON'S ACCUSER'S SISTER.
The eldest son of Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein was plotting to overthrow his father just as US troops advanced on Baghdad in March 2003...
Six of one....
...journalist Peter Arnett...
WHO?!?!?
...claimed in Playboy Magazine.
Pffh-hh-hh hh hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
Six of one....
...journalist Peter Arnett...
WHO?!?!?
...claimed in Playboy Magazine.
Pffh-hh-hh hh hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
Congress Must Act on Social Security This Year, Frist Says
Little Sen. Dr. Billy has heard from the HARD-CORE.
Little Sen. Dr. Billy has heard from the HARD-CORE.
I just realized the neat thing about NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!: reporters are KNEE-JERK LOONEY-LEFTIST DEMAGOGUES -- unless we're copying the AP.
Can anyone doubt Medicaid has become yet another middle-class entitlement program? I just put my mother on Medicaid for her nursing-home expenses -- the GUVMENT will pay tens of thousands for them. Multiply this by millions and God knows how much money the GUVMENT is throwing into the wind. And Dubya "aims to squeeze $60 billion in 'inappropriate' financing gimmicks" out of Medicaid "over the next ten years" -- and expects to save money? Whom are you kidding, Dubya?
Another hard-core ROMY FAN gets in his licks:
Why no liberal on WSJ's op-ed page?
WHY NO CONSERVATIVES IN WSJ'S NEWS PAGES?
Why no liberal on WSJ's op-ed page?
WHY NO CONSERVATIVES IN WSJ'S NEWS PAGES?
LAUGH OF THE DAY: A group of investors bids Monopoly money on the GOON LEAGUE.
They should stick to board games.
P. S. I'm now thinking the ultimate goal of this scam...scheme is an IPO. Buy at three, sell at six. If so, the scam ar...investors may be the real suckers.
They should stick to board games.
P. S. I'm now thinking the ultimate goal of this scam...scheme is an IPO. Buy at three, sell at six. If so, the scam ar...investors may be the real suckers.
Looks like we're going to alibi for -- I mean, say a FOND FAREWELL to DANNO.
No, Steve, he WASN'T disgraced. That was merely the VAST RIGHT-WING CONSPIRACY hallucinating.
No, Steve, he WASN'T disgraced. That was merely the VAST RIGHT-WING CONSPIRACY hallucinating.
The late MURROWBOY and TV newsface Howard K. Smith collected books -- lots of leather-bound books. However:
Did Smith read these books? "Well, there were a lot of bookmarks, but most of these books, I think not," says [Dale] Sorenson, who has examined every volume.
Just as well: some of the buyers will be "decorators who buy leather-bound beauties simply to create a classy faux-cerebral space."
Did Smith read these books? "Well, there were a lot of bookmarks, but most of these books, I think not," says [Dale] Sorenson, who has examined every volume.
Just as well: some of the buyers will be "decorators who buy leather-bound beauties simply to create a classy faux-cerebral space."
Our NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH award goes to MORTIMER, the man who gets a THRILL inflicting PRIVATE tragedies on his -- READERS, because his paper may run more NEUHARTHISMS OF THE WEEK than any other -- even USAOKAY!!!!!
U.S. troop deaths in Iraq rise to 1,500
TRANSLATION (as always): YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!
Since May 1, 2003, when President Bush declared that major combat operations in Iraq had ended, 1,362 U.S. military members have died, according to AP’s count....
The U.S. exit strategy....
BIAS? WHAT BIAS?!?
TRANSLATION (as always): YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!
Since May 1, 2003, when President Bush declared that major combat operations in Iraq had ended, 1,362 U.S. military members have died, according to AP’s count....
The U.S. exit strategy....
BIAS? WHAT BIAS?!?
Hey GLIBERAL! Great news on the social front for you: sobriety tests in schools! I'd say America is even more advanced than ever! Wouldn't you, GLIBERAL?
And hey Glib, we see you've written another one of your masterworks, this time as part of the period of state mourning for Hunter! Let me guess -- NAZI...CONSERVATIVES made him a DRUGGIE! They INJECTED HIM SECRETLY with DOPE! RIGHT? (We won't read it so we'll be content just to guess.)
And hey Glib, we see you've written another one of your masterworks, this time as part of the period of state mourning for Hunter! Let me guess -- NAZI...CONSERVATIVES made him a DRUGGIE! They INJECTED HIM SECRETLY with DOPE! RIGHT? (We won't read it so we'll be content just to guess.)
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
GOOGLE NEWS HED OF THE DAY:
Jackson's Aides Were Arranging Smear Campaign, Witness Testifies
New York Times -
all 2,902 related »
Jackson's Aides Were Arranging Smear Campaign, Witness Testifies
New York Times -
all 2,902 related »
The IDIOT COOKS of the VIDEO-GAME BIZ' FIG LEAF-FLAVORED ALPHABET SOUP have JUST INVENTED "PG-13"!!!!!
Is the late DR. EVIL working for you?
P. S.
An honorary NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK award to May Wong [sic] of CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES for writing what sounds suspiciously like an industry plant.
Is the late DR. EVIL working for you?
P. S.
An honorary NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK award to May Wong [sic] of CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES for writing what sounds suspiciously like an industry plant.
For internet users seeking to avoid exposure to spyware and intrusive ads, the prevailing wisdom among net security experts has long been that a good first step is to switch from Microsoft's Internet Explorer to an alternate browser.
But now that millions have taken the advice and changed to browsers like Mozilla Firefox, more spyware and adware writers are also making the switch.
WALTER "SPYWARE" WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SMILES.
But now that millions have taken the advice and changed to browsers like Mozilla Firefox, more spyware and adware writers are also making the switch.
WALTER "SPYWARE" WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SMILES.
TRANSLATION: Gale-force winds dried out the NINE FINGERS' FINGERS while they were getting a read!
Hey Tony! Think we can find a precedent in INTERNATIONAL LAW?
Hey Tony! Think we can find a precedent in INTERNATIONAL LAW?
In more ROMY news, which Poynter.org's hero posted with the abandon of a Freeper who hasn't discovered HTML, Gerald Seib, editor of the WALL STREET JOURNALS LIBERAL EDITION, says the press will survive. If we were betting folks we'd bet on Gerry. His biz has the printing presses. Bloggers do not. His has the revenues. Bloggers do not. His has the SYNERGIES (as his biz' relentless SHOW-BIZ SELL proves EVERY DAY). Bloggers (except for POWER LINE!!!!! and little) do not. His biz also has the advantage of maintaining America's memory in a manner immune from changing formats and technologies, and bulk erasers. It also has a stranglehold on Internet-based news, the stuff that isn't. So yes, Gerry, you should take heart: you'll still forever be able to beat us over the head with your PREJUDICES AND BIASES, just as your friends in the CONSERVATIVE EDITION will beat us over the head with THEIRS.
The AHHHHHHHHHHT of JERNALISM:
[John Randolph Makeig] was an accident-prone driver who once tried to persuade his editors that an exceptionally long story he had written — [Doug] Clarke remembers it being 43 pages long — about a routine fender-bender was the best story of his career and deserved a Pulitzer Prize. It was whittled down to a three-inch brief and buried inside the paper.
But then ALL JERNALISTS have NOVELS in them -- and SCREENPLAYS.
[John Randolph Makeig] was an accident-prone driver who once tried to persuade his editors that an exceptionally long story he had written — [Doug] Clarke remembers it being 43 pages long — about a routine fender-bender was the best story of his career and deserved a Pulitzer Prize. It was whittled down to a three-inch brief and buried inside the paper.
But then ALL JERNALISTS have NOVELS in them -- and SCREENPLAYS.
National Hockey League owners are attempting to destroy the players' association, CBC sports announcer Ron MacLean said Tuesday.
Be careful what you wish for....
Be careful what you wish for....
Congress may hold off on Social Security
Taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-ta-taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....
You have to wonder how much con-SER-va-tives goaded Dubya into this so he could show 'em some BACKBONE. Some backbone.
Taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-ta-taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....
You have to wonder how much con-SER-va-tives goaded Dubya into this so he could show 'em some BACKBONE. Some backbone.
BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!!!
Syrian Terrorists Bombed Tel Aviv
Bin Laden Urges Zarqawi to Hit U.S.
Horowitz Book Signing in CA
Syrian Terrorists Bombed Tel Aviv
Bin Laden Urges Zarqawi to Hit U.S.
Horowitz Book Signing in CA
The holy cockroaches who turned the Spaniards into CHICKENS had plans on our Grand Central Station.
Fortunately, it was only US.
P. S. The CHICKENS told our law enforcement?
Fortunately, it was only US.
P. S. The CHICKENS told our law enforcement?
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
Somebody's turned off that switch again; I've posted sixteen times and I have six hits. Is anybody out there?
THE PAPER OF RE-CORD APPOINTS A NEW TOKEN CONSERVATIVE!
ALL HAIL PINCH'S NEW TOKEN CONSERVATIVE!!!!!
P. S. Ramesh of The Corner issues a VERDICT:
He's a more consistent, and more economics-oriented, libertarian than Safire.
TRANSLATION: He's a FREE-ENTERPRISE CON-SER-VA-TIVE -- and a SOCIAL-ISSUES GLIBERTARIAN.
SHAKE HANDS WITH THE GLIBERAL!
ALL HAIL PINCH'S NEW TOKEN CONSERVATIVE!!!!!
P. S. Ramesh of The Corner issues a VERDICT:
He's a more consistent, and more economics-oriented, libertarian than Safire.
TRANSLATION: He's a FREE-ENTERPRISE CON-SER-VA-TIVE -- and a SOCIAL-ISSUES GLIBERTARIAN.
SHAKE HANDS WITH THE GLIBERAL!
THE MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE WILL NEVER LEARN: One BIG reason for Internet piracy is inflated CD prices. So what do the LEGENDARY DAVISES want to do? They want to raise DOWNLOAD PRICES!
Well, there's a good side to it -- there'll be more records with BOOTLEG in the title.
Well, there's a good side to it -- there'll be more records with BOOTLEG in the title.
Eulogy for the department store:
"Five years ago, 23 percent of men in American shopped at a major department store during the holidays. Last Christmas, less than 8 percent of men shopped there," said Britt Beemer, author of "Predatory Marketing" and a consultant with America's Research Group.
"In the old days, men would go to a department store and find somebody that looked like their wife. Then they'd say, `Let's go shopping.' Now they can't find anybody. Everybody is behind a cash register."
Precisely.
"Five years ago, 23 percent of men in American shopped at a major department store during the holidays. Last Christmas, less than 8 percent of men shopped there," said Britt Beemer, author of "Predatory Marketing" and a consultant with America's Research Group.
"In the old days, men would go to a department store and find somebody that looked like their wife. Then they'd say, `Let's go shopping.' Now they can't find anybody. Everybody is behind a cash register."
Precisely.
Con-SER-va-tives will banshee, and God (or rather, some mystic force whose pronoun we capitalize) knows why the NINE FINGERS did it -- surely not for justice's sake -- but we have no business putting children to death for capital offenses, except the most vile. A state that can kill children will kill anyone, although to be sure we're doing well enough on that score, in the abortatoriums and the streets.
THE GOOD NEWS:
Pinter 'to give up writing plays'
THE BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD NEWS:
"I'm using a lot of energy more specifically about political states of affairs, which I think are very worrying as things stand."
[Fill in this blank with a recording of Adolf Hitler.]
Pinter 'to give up writing plays'
THE BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD NEWS:
"I'm using a lot of energy more specifically about political states of affairs, which I think are very worrying as things stand."
[Fill in this blank with a recording of Adolf Hitler.]
Mr. JOHN CHANEY has decided he'll bench himself for his conference tournament.
You know from now on you'll be booed on every road court. Why not just bench yourself permanently?
You know from now on you'll be booed on every road court. Why not just bench yourself permanently?
Snow Falls Short of Expectations
I repeat: what's the difference between a weatherman and an economist?
I'm still searching for a punchline.
I repeat: what's the difference between a weatherman and an economist?
I'm still searching for a punchline.
R. Emmett's upset that the euthanasia picture won, so what did he want to see win? THE HOLY SLASHER MOVIE!
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWHAP!!!!!
IT DIDN'T EVEN WIN THE BEST MAKE-UP AWARD!
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWHAP!!!!!
IT DIDN'T EVEN WIN THE BEST MAKE-UP AWARD!
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, February 28, 2005
Stephen King Gets into Pulp Fiction
I don't know whether this is dense or merely reflects his future.
I don't know whether this is dense or merely reflects his future.
Speaking of jokes, here's how you can tell the CLEM KADIDDLEHOPPERS of MOUNTAIN VIEW are SITTING ON THEIR PAPER FORTUNES: when you see the same post SEVEN OR EIGHT TIMES because the IDIOTS are ASLEEP at the SERVER and you press "PUBLISH POST" SEVEN OR EIGHT TIMES in ANGER.
I've come up with what I'm sure would be a great joke but I can't think of a punchline:
What's the difference between a weatherman and an economist?
Come to think of it, it may not need a punchline.
What's the difference between a weatherman and an economist?
Come to think of it, it may not need a punchline.
When that moronic flack Jack of DA NOOZ signalled that 1,500 HACKS felt the same way I should have KNOWN it was CW, and it was WRONG. I still say the OSCARS® are in long-term trouble, but unlike the late MISS AMERICA PAGEANT they have a solid core audience of MOVIE S&M PHREAKS and UNREGENERATE DEMOCRATS, not to mention fashion buffs who watch the show only to see the evening gowns; plus they have the vaguest semblance of an AURA even IF Cary Grant died years ago. Given HOLLYWOOD'S EXPONENTIALLY-INCREASING BRILLIANCE I doubt they'll ever do much better, and they could still do worse; but I will never again underestimate the deviousness of PUBLICISTS.
It appears one purpose of THE PAPER OF RE-CORD'S PUBLIC EDI-TOR is to TRY to CALM CONSERVATIVES.
WON'T WORK, LORD GOD PINCH, so long as YOU'RE GOD and THE PAPER OF RE-CORD IS YOUR WORD.
WON'T WORK, LORD GOD PINCH, so long as YOU'RE GOD and THE PAPER OF RE-CORD IS YOUR WORD.
Thanks, ArtsJournal.com:
Imagine, if you can, a movie about two unattractive, gross women slobs going on a week-long spree and ending up with Brad Pitt and Ben Affleck. Imagine that becoming a hit, nominated for five Academy Awards, acclaimed by critics.
Wait, don't even try. It ain't gonna happen.
"Sideways," the low-budget Oscar contender, is a guys' movie that celebrates a certain cultural fantasy: Set off on a drinking-carousing-debauching adventure for a week with your buddy, seduce two great-looking girls and then dump them and go home. What fun!
The reviews were fabulous, and then Charles Krauthammer wrote a whole column about it on the op-ed page, calling it "sublime . . . intelligent . . . clever, funny, moving." He concluded, "Trust me on this one. See it."
I did. I hated it. And it wasn't just me. Most of the women I know feel the same way.
We don't trust you, Chuck. We're not so sure we trust a woman writer on a story about the divide between the sexes, either. Come to think of it, we're not so sure we trust any NEWS HACK on the movies. It's all about SELLING.
Imagine, if you can, a movie about two unattractive, gross women slobs going on a week-long spree and ending up with Brad Pitt and Ben Affleck. Imagine that becoming a hit, nominated for five Academy Awards, acclaimed by critics.
Wait, don't even try. It ain't gonna happen.
"Sideways," the low-budget Oscar contender, is a guys' movie that celebrates a certain cultural fantasy: Set off on a drinking-carousing-debauching adventure for a week with your buddy, seduce two great-looking girls and then dump them and go home. What fun!
The reviews were fabulous, and then Charles Krauthammer wrote a whole column about it on the op-ed page, calling it "sublime . . . intelligent . . . clever, funny, moving." He concluded, "Trust me on this one. See it."
I did. I hated it. And it wasn't just me. Most of the women I know feel the same way.
We don't trust you, Chuck. We're not so sure we trust a woman writer on a story about the divide between the sexes, either. Come to think of it, we're not so sure we trust any NEWS HACK on the movies. It's all about SELLING.
Many Americans notice that liberalism nowadays lacks a vocabulary of right and wrong, declines to discuss virtue except in snickering terms, and seems increasingly hostile to prevailing moral sentiments.
John Leo! You just wrote THE GLIBERAL's biography!
John Leo! You just wrote THE GLIBERAL's biography!
SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS MARCH ON!
Prince gives the best song. Well, no "Singin' in the Rains" here. They gave the Oscar to the song from The Motorcycles Dairies.
MoooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Prince gives the best song. Well, no "Singin' in the Rains" here. They gave the Oscar to the song from The Motorcycles Dairies.
MoooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
It figures: the boys at VIACON Network News don't watch DANNO either.
Join the crowd.
CAVEAT: This is from an article by KEN FELATTA, so God knows what they REALLY said to him.
Join the crowd.
CAVEAT: This is from an article by KEN FELATTA, so God knows what they REALLY said to him.
Sunday, February 27, 2005
Henry A. Grunwald, a Time magazine editor who led the publication’s shift from conservatism to a more centrist view...
Somewhere, Henry Luce is laughing.
Somewhere, Henry Luce is laughing.
One of Bristol's BRIGHT LIGHTS calls up the MOTHER SHIP and agrees -- JOHN CHANEY would be GOOD FOR THE RATINGS.
Please guy, don't tell us your PRINCIPAL EMPLOYER had NOTHING to do with THIS.
Then again, how do you explain Mike Lupica?
Please guy, don't tell us your PRINCIPAL EMPLOYER had NOTHING to do with THIS.
Then again, how do you explain Mike Lupica?
The other day the editor of an ALTERNARAG (peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeu!!!!!) suggested THE PAPER OF RE-CORD FIRE THE GLIBERAL. At no time has such an idea made more sense than seeing that nuisance peering from the PAPER's Web site (I'm CONVINCED GLIB demanded it in his CONTRACT), linking to an article with this choice tidbit:
No less a bellwether is the decision of Adelphia, a cable giant known for its refusal to traffic in erotica, to change its image radically now that its moralistic founder and former C.E.O., John Rigas, has been convicted of looting the company.
Time to reach for THE SKEPTIC:
It is this vast and militant ignorance, this wide-spread and fathomless prejudice against intelligence, that makes American journalism so pathetically feeble and vulgar, and so generally disreputable.
No less a bellwether is the decision of Adelphia, a cable giant known for its refusal to traffic in erotica, to change its image radically now that its moralistic founder and former C.E.O., John Rigas, has been convicted of looting the company.
Time to reach for THE SKEPTIC:
It is this vast and militant ignorance, this wide-spread and fathomless prejudice against intelligence, that makes American journalism so pathetically feeble and vulgar, and so generally disreputable.
Struggling all last night and this morning with an exceptionally bad case of indigestion -- I had either a stomach bug or some mild food poisoning -- I read Terry Teachout's bio of Mencken, not exactly the most soothing of works for an indisposed man (no slight at Mr. Teachout), and found this mot juste for bloggers, from Gustave Flaubert:
By dint of railing at idiots, one runs the risk of being idiotic himself.
I wonder if Menck wasn't the first blogger, screaming bloody murder and having little left of his reputation but a few unread scholarly works. In that he differs almost none from SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS except Menck didn't have a computer. (He did have a typewriter, an ancient version thereof.)
There was also this line, at book's end, from Pride and Prejudice:
I hope I never ridicule what is wise or good.
Every blogger should take that advice.
By dint of railing at idiots, one runs the risk of being idiotic himself.
I wonder if Menck wasn't the first blogger, screaming bloody murder and having little left of his reputation but a few unread scholarly works. In that he differs almost none from SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS except Menck didn't have a computer. (He did have a typewriter, an ancient version thereof.)
There was also this line, at book's end, from Pride and Prejudice:
I hope I never ridicule what is wise or good.
Every blogger should take that advice.