THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Saturday, July 07, 2007
More PC flapdoodle. Yes, we shouldn't be the ugly Americans, and yes, this was wrong, but when people say politically incorrect things they tend to be punished permanently, as Ben Wright will attest; yet somehow Ward Churchills escape by the epidermis on their necks.
We must assume from this and other accounts that GoreFest was a fiasco that will nonetheless be reported as a triumph, although it is hard to be astonished at THE MAN's investments as, let's face it, he has never exactly been an avatar of VIRTUE.
And another self-administered black eye for the WORLD'S LEADING BROADCASTER (after CNN, that is):
The BBC meanwhile found itself under attack for devoting more than 11 hours of television to covering the event while failing to represent the views of those who question the existence of global warming and its causes. Within two hours of the concert's start, the corporation was forced to apologise for the bad language used by some performers.
And another self-administered black eye for the WORLD'S LEADING BROADCASTER (after CNN, that is):
The BBC meanwhile found itself under attack for devoting more than 11 hours of television to covering the event while failing to represent the views of those who question the existence of global warming and its causes. Within two hours of the concert's start, the corporation was forced to apologise for the bad language used by some performers.
Midst the thirty cells phones dangling from his ears PAUL DRECK faces a conundrum: BEEEEEEEEEE-OH was WAY UP in the middle of the week -- and way down on the WEEKEND. Not to worry; he and his assistant in crime DAVID "NON" GERMAIN will give us that famous spin 'n' sell and convince us MOVIES ARE BETTER AND FINANCIALLY HEALTHIER THAN EVER!!!!!
JonBoy comes back from the two-week break refreshed after having stuffed our heads with all those things we need to know by putting JFK Lincoln on the cover (is he Zeitgeist's version of Jimmah?), except in Asia, where the locals get to learn about China's devotion to Six Sigma and other quality concepts, though Asia would seem more inflicter than inflicted.
SLIME's getting out of Russia?
We thought He liked totalitarians. Oh, He's just selling part of His billboard business there because the Russians won't let Him own it all. Can't He make friends with Belly Kisser?
(Via Media Buyer Planner)
We thought He liked totalitarians. Oh, He's just selling part of His billboard business there because the Russians won't let Him own it all. Can't He make friends with Belly Kisser?
(Via Media Buyer Planner)
An astonishing admission from an NRO contributor:
[WALTER WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!] has been topping with a link to a [former underling's] item concerning a poll by a New Hampshire organization called "the American Research Goup." [SIC!!!!!] If the name seems familiar ["the American Research Goup"?], it's because the same group released a very similar poll result in March 2006. In both, the numbers are about the same. That March 2006 poll was ignored, except by the loopy left. This one hooked both [WALTER WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!] and [the former underling].
I refuse to give their names because they both got where they are selling half-truths at full pitch. But with WALTER!!!!!!!!!! especially you get what you pay for.
P. S. Without going onto WALTER WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!'s site, as we never will again, we presume it's this one.
[WALTER WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!] has been topping with a link to a [former underling's] item concerning a poll by a New Hampshire organization called "the American Research Goup." [SIC!!!!!] If the name seems familiar ["the American Research Goup"?], it's because the same group released a very similar poll result in March 2006. In both, the numbers are about the same. That March 2006 poll was ignored, except by the loopy left. This one hooked both [WALTER WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!] and [the former underling].
I refuse to give their names because they both got where they are selling half-truths at full pitch. But with WALTER!!!!!!!!!! especially you get what you pay for.
P. S. Without going onto WALTER WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!'s site, as we never will again, we presume it's this one.
NASCAR becomes PC -- no smoking! Well, sort-of.
We can see all those zillionaire Chevy Chase CEO sugar daddies of the "sport" lighting up those big fat stogies and blowing the smoke in their subordinates' faces.
We can see all those zillionaire Chevy Chase CEO sugar daddies of the "sport" lighting up those big fat stogies and blowing the smoke in their subordinates' faces.
There's a simple solution as to how the noses-in-the-air at Dow Jones and the holy JOURNALS can save face: preferred stock. This would allow the Bancrofts and their oh-so-precious poets of the news to keep at least a semblance of control, while allowing SLIME to claim their property as His. This would not be a first: David Geffen pioneered its use in this manner when he sold his record firm to MCA for preferred stock, and when MCA subsequently sold to Matsushita he reaped billions. No one's going to come around to buy off SLIME (unless he's as much of a moron), but at least the P-Ulitzer winners would keep quiet about the rape of their sacred rag -- for a while. I'm guessing that's why it's taking so long to make a deal.
I can't find it in Google News, so no one's even talking about it, but I'd bet this is what happens.
I can't find it in Google News, so no one's even talking about it, but I'd bet this is what happens.
I have a great idea for a movie, if only I had the connections and talent to pull it off. (Note the order.) It would center around a Star Trek convention and a Star Wars convention somehow sharing the same meeting hall (or city) at the same time, and how their mutual pretensions and inanities would lead to a "war" in the streets (strictly play). There would be "fans" speaking Klingon (with subtitles) and Bill Shatner impersonators and armies of Wookiees and everything. It would be worthy of Preston Sturges or Billy Wilder.
There's just one problem: "real life" seems to be beating it out.
There's just one problem: "real life" seems to be beating it out.
Friday, July 06, 2007
Obvious statement of the day:
For Muslim extremists, religion matters more than socio-economic status [Home-page teaser]
For Muslim extremists, religion matters more than socio-economic status [Home-page teaser]
Mediocre presidents continue to cost us even after they're out of office:
Hosting two former Presidents isn't cheap.
The University of New Hampshire's May commencement cost $440,417, or more than three times the cost of last year's ceremony, which rang in at $134,660, according to figures provided to the New Hampshire Union Leader.
UNH officials said yesterday the extra money for commencement came entirely from private donations and no public funds or tuition money were used.
Much of the added expense went toward extra security for keynote speakers and former Presidents George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton as well as for accommodating the larger than usual crowds who came to watch.
Who wants to bet somehow, some way, Papa and Slick take some sort of tax deduction?
(Via Chronicle.com)
Hosting two former Presidents isn't cheap.
The University of New Hampshire's May commencement cost $440,417, or more than three times the cost of last year's ceremony, which rang in at $134,660, according to figures provided to the New Hampshire Union Leader.
UNH officials said yesterday the extra money for commencement came entirely from private donations and no public funds or tuition money were used.
Much of the added expense went toward extra security for keynote speakers and former Presidents George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton as well as for accommodating the larger than usual crowds who came to watch.
Who wants to bet somehow, some way, Papa and Slick take some sort of tax deduction?
(Via Chronicle.com)
First person charged in U.K. bomb plots
But presumably not the first person to yell ALLAH AKBAR!!!!! as he's escorted to prison.
But presumably not the first person to yell ALLAH AKBAR!!!!! as he's escorted to prison.
Aw SHUCKS, Fatso isn't going to Iran.
He could have learned something about I---m's permanent health care.
He could have learned something about I---m's permanent health care.
Speaking of greed, Mug Whitman uses her personal Bloomy press agents to inform the world she's BEATING G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE!
Which reminds us, eBay used to be THE stock. Someday, we would hope, we'll say the same thing of THE G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE and $TEVEDOM.
Which reminds us, eBay used to be THE stock. Someday, we would hope, we'll say the same thing of THE G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE and $TEVEDOM.
China moves to ban anonymous online posts
MOUNTAIN VIEW!!!!! JERRY!!!!!!!!!! They need your help again!
MOUNTAIN VIEW!!!!! JERRY!!!!!!!!!! They need your help again!
And just how little have the hacks willed themselves into believing they can write about? They're mentioning Dan Patrick as Mr. Price is Right.
Patrick says he declined the invitation but he's also rumored to be leaving ESPN amidst rocky contract talks, meaning he could reconsider. That makes him easily the most interesting candidate in a field that consists mainly of D-list actors.
That's flattering?
Patrick says he declined the invitation but he's also rumored to be leaving ESPN amidst rocky contract talks, meaning he could reconsider. That makes him easily the most interesting candidate in a field that consists mainly of D-list actors.
That's flattering?
What's that foul smell coming from ArtsJournal? Oh. Somebody named Shteyngart said THE @#$%&* SOPRANOS was THE GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL.
And somebody who claims to be the pre-si-DENT of the NATIO-NAL BOOK CRI-TICS CUH-CLE adds to the strong odor by claiming it (not to mention the HISTORIC BRILLLLLLIANCE OF TELEVISION) may have killed off the novel forever!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, Stefan Kanfer was RIGHT.
And somebody who claims to be the pre-si-DENT of the NATIO-NAL BOOK CRI-TICS CUH-CLE adds to the strong odor by claiming it (not to mention the HISTORIC BRILLLLLLIANCE OF TELEVISION) may have killed off the novel forever!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, Stefan Kanfer was RIGHT.
And MS. TRAVERS got in a SAM LITTLE-like lather because the ASSPress dared issue a "HIT" PIECE!!!!!!!!!!:
Thompson Strong on Style, Not Substance
We question the ASSPress's veracity often enough, but doesn't this have the advantage of being true? Didn't he get where he is by being a Clint sidekick and a star on the tee-vee? Is it unreasonable to assume a man so comfortable with Hollywood might have, shall we say, a flexible position on public policy? How do we know there's a there there? It must be insulting to someone who has tried in her own mighty way to promote his candidacy, but alas, no there there seems to be at the heart of all our candidates this season -- save perhaps Hillary, whose there is where you don't want to go.
Thompson Strong on Style, Not Substance
We question the ASSPress's veracity often enough, but doesn't this have the advantage of being true? Didn't he get where he is by being a Clint sidekick and a star on the tee-vee? Is it unreasonable to assume a man so comfortable with Hollywood might have, shall we say, a flexible position on public policy? How do we know there's a there there? It must be insulting to someone who has tried in her own mighty way to promote his candidacy, but alas, no there there seems to be at the heart of all our candidates this season -- save perhaps Hillary, whose there is where you don't want to go.
BLOGGERS GOT A BRAND NEW THING: Over in SAM LITTLE territory they're screaming because a FRONTPAGE MAGAZINE site called JihadWatch is being BANNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now we've learned when SAM opens his mouth -- and especially when he gets into a chorus with THE BLOGGERS OF THE MILLENNIUM -- we hold our ears for the bansheeing self-regard; and yet, trying with however great difficulty to keep their hyperbole out, if "the City of Chicago, Bank of America, Fidelity Investments, GE IT, JPMorgan Chase, Defense Finance and Accounting Services" and, it is presumed, the Feds are censoring this site, they collectively have the guts of Chicken Little on his most Prozac-deserving day.
(Via the usual Corner)
P. S. at 5:13 p.m. Someone told MS. TRAVERS it might be indiscriminate Dilbert PornBlockers at work, as we half-suspected -- all the better to get SAM LITTLE to scream.
(Via the usual Corner)
P. S. at 5:13 p.m. Someone told MS. TRAVERS it might be indiscriminate Dilbert PornBlockers at work, as we half-suspected -- all the better to get SAM LITTLE to scream.
The people who keep the rides and other attractions in Branson East smoothly functioning are threatening to strike -- just in time for Kerngershwin's new theme-park opening!
"All this price-gouging is going on, the producers have never been richer and yet they want us to take cuts," grouses one stagehand. "We should suffer so they can get richer?"
Producers counter that big grosses are not the same as profits and that, in fact, only one in five shows recoups its production cost.
"Twenty-five years ago, one in four shows recouped, so we've gone backwards," says a veteran producer. "That's not a very bright picture. That's not a very healthy industry to be in.
"The stagehands will say, 'Well, you're not very good managers then.'..."
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEN!!!!!
"...To which we say: 'How can we be, with the rates we pay you?'"
In the REAL Branson they don't have unions. Why should a mere imitation? PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!
Speaking of Kerngershwin:
* Best line of the week, apropos the $450 ticket for "Young Frankenstein," starring Roger Bart (as Dr. Frankenstein):
"Four hundred and fifty dollars for the Roger Bart show? Please."
Only in Branson East!
"All this price-gouging is going on, the producers have never been richer and yet they want us to take cuts," grouses one stagehand. "We should suffer so they can get richer?"
Producers counter that big grosses are not the same as profits and that, in fact, only one in five shows recoups its production cost.
"Twenty-five years ago, one in four shows recouped, so we've gone backwards," says a veteran producer. "That's not a very bright picture. That's not a very healthy industry to be in.
"The stagehands will say, 'Well, you're not very good managers then.'..."
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEN!!!!!
"...To which we say: 'How can we be, with the rates we pay you?'"
In the REAL Branson they don't have unions. Why should a mere imitation? PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!
Speaking of Kerngershwin:
* Best line of the week, apropos the $450 ticket for "Young Frankenstein," starring Roger Bart (as Dr. Frankenstein):
"Four hundred and fifty dollars for the Roger Bart show? Please."
Only in Branson East!
Meantime a typist whose chief distinction is rambling in public about how Dubya is a drunk thinks he redeems himself with this:
Sadly, what the Olbermanns, O'Reillys, Limbaughs and others of their ilk spoon feed a gullible American public is not news or even solid information. It is partisan pap, spiked with hyperbole and laced with entertainment-enhanced glitz.
If only there were an alternative to the stopped-clock analogy, but often in these matters we have no choice.
(Via MediaBistro)
Sadly, what the Olbermanns, O'Reillys, Limbaughs and others of their ilk spoon feed a gullible American public is not news or even solid information. It is partisan pap, spiked with hyperbole and laced with entertainment-enhanced glitz.
If only there were an alternative to the stopped-clock analogy, but often in these matters we have no choice.
(Via MediaBistro)
[P]olitical talk in Washington isn't particularly popular, period.
Now if only the attitude would spread to the rest of the nation....
(Via the usual Romy)
Now if only the attitude would spread to the rest of the nation....
(Via the usual Romy)
Thursday, July 05, 2007
In a brilliant chapter, "The Politics of Fear," Gore cites brain research showing that moving images on television trigger primitive adaptive behaviors, inducing a trance-like state that "immobilizes viewers." "It’s almost as though we have a receptor for television in our brains," he writes. Into that receptor George W. Bush poured VIALS of FEEEEEEEEEEEEEAR. [Overemphasis added]
Now we know why we haven't paid attention to The Atlantic Online for a while -- that is, assuming MR. MELLERDRAMMER didn't inspire our active avoidance.
Now we know why we haven't paid attention to The Atlantic Online for a while -- that is, assuming MR. MELLERDRAMMER didn't inspire our active avoidance.
In news of our favorite profession this side of show-biz, the TV nets are still in that river called De Nial over DVRs and commercials. But since the American Society of Willfully Ignorant Advertisers has already pledged to pay any price to keep bad TV alive, we can ignore this.
Elsewhere, America's food makers are about to institute a Congressionally inspired initiative or code of ethics or something which will not get kids eating more celery.
Elsewhere, America's food makers are about to institute a Congressionally inspired initiative or code of ethics or something which will not get kids eating more celery.
BUGMEISTER DOES IT AGAIN:
Microsoft sets $1 billion charge for Xbox failures
Now what of all the bugs You don't want to fix?
The charge represents enough to fix 2.5 million consoles, Rosoff said. Bach declined to say how many have failed so far.
That's a pretty big bunch of Xboxes you don't want to talk about!
P. S. Dell of all people is telling businesses not to upgrade to Vista -- and sucke -- consumers are behind its "big" sales. It figures. (Via the usual Slash)
Microsoft sets $1 billion charge for Xbox failures
Now what of all the bugs You don't want to fix?
The charge represents enough to fix 2.5 million consoles, Rosoff said. Bach declined to say how many have failed so far.
That's a pretty big bunch of Xboxes you don't want to talk about!
P. S. Dell of all people is telling businesses not to upgrade to Vista -- and sucke -- consumers are behind its "big" sales. It figures. (Via the usual Slash)
Seven Days
On top of that, bosses at the Free Press in Burlington, VT also removed the newsroom's bottled water. Faucets in staff washrooms now have mesh filters over them, reports Peter Freyne.
OH! the INDIGNITY!
On top of that, bosses at the Free Press in Burlington, VT also removed the newsroom's bottled water. Faucets in staff washrooms now have mesh filters over them, reports Peter Freyne.
Posted at 3:22:21 PM
E-mail this item | QuickLink this item: A126119OH! the INDIGNITY!
The Healing Profession [John Derbyshire]
——Papa Doc Duvalier
——Bashar al-Assad
——Hawley H. Crippen
——Jack Kevorkian
But then, on the other hand:
——Ron Paul
07/05 02:17 PM
The other hand?
By the way, Duhb, I fixed one of your links.
——Papa Doc Duvalier
——Bashar al-Assad
——Hawley H. Crippen
——Jack Kevorkian
But then, on the other hand:
——Ron Paul
07/05 02:17 PM
The other hand?
By the way, Duhb, I fixed one of your links.
You'd think trying to make "unintentionally bad films into intentionally good musicals" (or more likely into unintentionally bad musicals, but we won't go into that) people would be a little more open with their wallets:
Beane notes that producers Joel Silver, Lawrence Gordon and a young development executive named Brian Grazer all helped make the original "Xanadu." "You have never seen people run away so quickly from a project," he laughs. That includes Universal Pictures, which chose not invest in the new production.
For once GOODTHINGS ENTERTAINMENT shows some sense -- if only for once.
Beane notes that producers Joel Silver, Lawrence Gordon and a young development executive named Brian Grazer all helped make the original "Xanadu." "You have never seen people run away so quickly from a project," he laughs. That includes Universal Pictures, which chose not invest in the new production.
For once GOODTHINGS ENTERTAINMENT shows some sense -- if only for once.
More Evil Than Google?
In the search biz -- in the entire high-tech biz -- it's best to assume everyone's evil.
In the search biz -- in the entire high-tech biz -- it's best to assume everyone's evil.
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
The other day the very good Terry Teachout got a little annoyed with his somewhat opposite number at City Journal the very good Stefan Kanfer for knocking Herr Doktor Sondheim, implying he was, well, some sort of old fogey who hated rock. (An odd thing for him to think, given his huffy-puffy over that Frankie Valli AudioAnimatronics show.) Perhaps we go too far -- and yet, to read Kanfer's piece on the Doktor, one can work up real sympathy for him; badly raised by a primadonna basket-case mother, he closeted himself in eternal childhood, and never became close to anyone. We know the feeling; but Sondheim had the benefit of connections starting with Ockie, and success starting with West Side Story, and the sort of fake fawning admirers who lead Kanfer to say,
[P]eople will be arguing about the two Sondheims for generations to come, thanks in large part to the press. The disconnect between the adoring critics and the critical ticket holders began decades ago and has only widened since. Even as the general public turned away, reviewers and academics, sick of the pop pap that has become a large part of Broadway fare, have either celebrated or overlooked the composer's lack of melody and the lyricist's absence of warmth. Something astringent tends to clear their heads. The critics also like to nourish the illusion that they are guiding public taste, leading it to undreamed-of modernist heights. Sondheim has responded by giving them ingenious and elaborate coterie compositions, growing more obscure and off-putting as the years advance.Perhaps this talk is too close to comfort for Mr. Teachout, who foolishly said in so many words Herr Doktor's cannibal show was better than My Fair Lady; but one can't deny the box office; and as the saying goes words have consequences, especially when they're lavished over AHT with no audience.
At least Al Gore's son was caught speeding in a politically-correct vehicle.
Look at it this way -- it can do a hundred on pot!
Look at it this way -- it can do a hundred on pot!
"When we start snubbing our noses at $300 million, that's a problem," said Chuck Viane, head of distribution at Disney.
As well we should -- because we're snubbing our noses at your PRODUCT.
It looks as though THE BIGGEST GROSSING FILM OF THE YEAR may not be grossing quite that much.
As well we should -- because we're snubbing our noses at your PRODUCT.
It looks as though THE BIGGEST GROSSING FILM OF THE YEAR may not be grossing quite that much.
If companies are so concerned with their reputations why do they spend so much money on advertising?
We should certainly be grateful the Beeb's reporter is free. Still one must wonder if he was ultimately given the benefit of the doubt given that, after all, when it comes to topics like "militants" and the Middle East, the Beeb basically takes the right side.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
I wouldn't be yelling too loud about Scooter there, Hill -- especially given your significant other pulled off one or too nifty pardons himself.
It's official: eBay has entered its "mature" phase.
PayPal, which EBay bought for about $1.5 billion in 2002, is now worth as much as $20 billion of the company's $44 billion market value, Whitman said. ``PayPal is one of the great all-time acquisitions,'' she said.
TRANSLATION: Without PayPal eBay would be priced where it should be -- and that might still be too much.
PayPal, which EBay bought for about $1.5 billion in 2002, is now worth as much as $20 billion of the company's $44 billion market value, Whitman said. ``PayPal is one of the great all-time acquisitions,'' she said.
TRANSLATION: Without PayPal eBay would be priced where it should be -- and that might still be too much.
Ben "Don't Call Me Fred -- or Better Still, Call Me Fred" Silverman worries:
The pilot for your new series "Bionic Woman" is said to have cost around $8 million. As production costs rise and ad revenue continues to go down, does that mean budgets have to come down, and we'll see fewer hours of programmed television?
As long as advertisers continue to migrate their dollars away from broadcast television, yes. Toss in viewer fragmentation and rising production costs, and you can't afford to pay for 19 hours a week of original high-quality programming. Something has got to give. For years everyone programmed Saturday night with originals. Now nobody programs Saturday. Maybe that will happen with Friday?
Yes, and maybe then Thursday and Wednesday and Tuesday and Monday and Sunday -- and still, somehow, some way, America's willfully ignorant advertisers will find a means to burn MORE of OUR money on junk television!
(Via ShowBizData)
The pilot for your new series "Bionic Woman" is said to have cost around $8 million. As production costs rise and ad revenue continues to go down, does that mean budgets have to come down, and we'll see fewer hours of programmed television?
As long as advertisers continue to migrate their dollars away from broadcast television, yes. Toss in viewer fragmentation and rising production costs, and you can't afford to pay for 19 hours a week of original high-quality programming. Something has got to give. For years everyone programmed Saturday night with originals. Now nobody programs Saturday. Maybe that will happen with Friday?
Yes, and maybe then Thursday and Wednesday and Tuesday and Monday and Sunday -- and still, somehow, some way, America's willfully ignorant advertisers will find a means to burn MORE of OUR money on junk television!
(Via ShowBizData)
BREAKING NEWS!!!!!
MAN THOUGHT TO HAVE DRUG-RESISTANT STRAIN OF TUBERCULOSIS, SETTING OFF WORLDWIDE SCARE, ACTUALLY HAS A LESS SEVERE FORM OF THE DISEASE, ACCORDING TO FEDERAL HEALTH OFFICIALS [SIC!!!!!]
So, we guess news hacks don't have just iPHONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and KWIK-E-MARTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to sell. Nor do the FEDS, for that matter.
MAN THOUGHT TO HAVE DRUG-RESISTANT STRAIN OF TUBERCULOSIS, SETTING OFF WORLDWIDE SCARE, ACTUALLY HAS A LESS SEVERE FORM OF THE DISEASE, ACCORDING TO FEDERAL HEALTH OFFICIALS [SIC!!!!!]
So, we guess news hacks don't have just iPHONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and KWIK-E-MARTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to sell. Nor do the FEDS, for that matter.
If it's reasonable to ask if news hacks invest in political campaigns, isn't it further reasonable for us to ask if they invest in AAPL? or NWS?
Given their hammer-on-anvil treatment of us lately we say news hacks say the answer is no.
Given their hammer-on-anvil treatment of us lately we say news hacks say the answer is no.
“You’re nae hitting the Polis mate, there’s nae chance.”
Well at least not all the inhabitants of that Merrie Olde Lande are weak and wishy-washy Di mourners.
Well at least not all the inhabitants of that Merrie Olde Lande are weak and wishy-washy Di mourners.
Woody Allen finds love in Barcelona
Wake up, Soon-Yi! I think your father-husband has a new girl-toy!
Wake up, Soon-Yi! I think your father-husband has a new girl-toy!
Moral relativism died with Daniel Pearl, in Karachi, on January 31, 2002.
We suspect this message will resonate long after SUMNER's kingdom pulls the last copies of its money-losing PC Fractured Fairy Tale out of the video stores.
We suspect this message will resonate long after SUMNER's kingdom pulls the last copies of its money-losing PC Fractured Fairy Tale out of the video stores.
Fatso "comes to Iran" to give the people -- BETTER HEALTH CARE!
Wait a second! Isn't blowing yourself up for Allah the best health care there is?
Meantime the West Coast Paper of Re-CORD engages in a little -- flattery:
• Is Michael Moore the new Orson Welles? [Home-page tease]
Yes. Fat.
Although we're waiting for the outtakes.
Wait a second! Isn't blowing yourself up for Allah the best health care there is?
Meantime the West Coast Paper of Re-CORD engages in a little -- flattery:
• Is Michael Moore the new Orson Welles? [Home-page tease]
Yes. Fat.
Although we're waiting for the outtakes.
And a typist for USAOKAY!!!!!.com public-service-ally reminds us tomorrow the TWXSTERS are running a Flintstones marathon (bleeccccch), and, as every super-patriotic news hack never ceases to tell us, The Flintstones was the forerunner of -- sorry, my arms are tired early in the morning from all that flag-waving.
657 LINKS ON GOOGLE NEWS!!!!!!!!!!
657 LINKS ON GOOGLE NEWS!!!!!!!!!!
We would think Chrysler wouldn't go bankrupt -- we would think the Three-Headed Dog spending billions acquiring it it wouldn't let it go bankrupt -- but every LBO artiste has the Kirk Kevork...KERKORIAN in him, and these frauds might decide it's worth more bankrupt, using their morally bankrupt calculations. Who cares so long as THEY make the money!
Right Mr. Snow-Job? Right Dan Quayl...Quaale...QUAYLE?
Right Mr. Snow-Job? Right Dan Quayl...Quaale...QUAYLE?
We wish we could say something about Beverly Sills other than that she was the Kitty Carlisle Hart of opera -- indeed judging from the Paper of Re-CORD's piece she was better known for her TV appearances than her singing -- nothing wrong with that -- but we'll pass on these matters to our betters, who are infinite in number.
Indeed Manuela Hoelterhoff's obit sounds pretty well definitive, so we'll gladly defer to her.
Indeed Manuela Hoelterhoff's obit sounds pretty well definitive, so we'll gladly defer to her.
Meantime SUMNER "extends a new moral message to the world: unplug your cellphone charger."
That would seem to be difficult when we're busy SELLINGSELLINGSELLING for the good of the Republic!
That would seem to be difficult when we're busy SELLINGSELLINGSELLING for the good of the Republic!
A JOB$ WELL DONE! Now the hacks can give us another burst of their fake patriotism and tell us how by SELLINGSELLINGSELLING they help the Republic and free enterprise and...has ever any of our ruling classes been as full of it as news hacks?
Monday, July 02, 2007
The suicidal-homicidal wrestler was "an 'excessive purchaser of injectable steroids.'"
Somebody's guilty here.
Somebody's guilty here.
How many now-whats do we get from the hacks? One enduring category of now-whats is the self-improvement story, which suggests if you do something unconventional regularly something good will happen -- and often contradicting another story that says if you don't do what the hacks are suddenly suggesting you do, something good for happen. Forgive us after L'Affaire Paris, L'Affaire iPHONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, and L'Affaire KWIK-E-MARTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if we don't tell the hacks to stick such stories up their cavernous repository for other such stories.
(Via ArtsJournal, which already has a few up there)
(Via ArtsJournal, which already has a few up there)
AP NEWS ALERT!!!!!
KENNEBUNKPORT, Maine (AP) -- President Bush and Russian President Vladimir Putin promise a united front against Iran's suspected nuclear weapons program.
Which will be divided at the first sign the united front has to do something.
KENNEBUNKPORT, Maine (AP) -- President Bush and Russian President Vladimir Putin promise a united front against Iran's suspected nuclear weapons program.
Which will be divided at the first sign the united front has to do something.
We know show-biz types are besotted megalomaniacs, but that doesn't seem to stop the hacks from turning them into flawless gods, largely for their own benefit.
TRANSLATION: SLIME pokes us in the eye with the ultimate middle-finger product placement, but here's betting quite a few people have goggles on.
"'Have I entered into 'The Simpsons' or have I entered into advertising hell?'"
ABANDON HOPE ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE.
P. S. at 12:55 p.m. 500 GOOGLE NEWS LINKS. Good thing Romy's OFF today!
"'Have I entered into 'The Simpsons' or have I entered into advertising hell?'"
ABANDON HOPE ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE.
P. S. at 12:55 p.m. 500 GOOGLE NEWS LINKS. Good thing Romy's OFF today!
Friends of RADIO'S DRUNKEN SLOB have convinced DAPOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he's coming back. I'm not. First off it'll make Rev. Racecard mad, and we don't want to do that. Second, it once again shines a bright light on his too-many friends (the ninny Jeff Greenfield, the ninny Howie Hairshirt, Sen. Morals, Sen. Boobs McKeating, the idiots at The Newsrag of the Zeitgeist), and they might not like the glare. Third, doesn't it make SUMNER look as though he's cravenly caving -- again? Fourth, this is DAPOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, and look how many articles it's run these last few years on Herman -- uh, Steen? and look what good it's done SIRI.
Besides Howie has pretty well decided he can sell himself through Congressman Joe.
(Via MediaBistro)
Besides Howie has pretty well decided he can sell himself through Congressman Joe.
(Via MediaBistro)
Ms. Travers is EXCITED because ESPNCorp Network News is reporting Al Qaeda's planning a spectacular! So Der Homeland says.
I think we can agree when Ms. Travers and Der Homeland say something will happen it won't happen. Sheer prudence demands that we look over our shoulder often, however.
I think we can agree when Ms. Travers and Der Homeland say something will happen it won't happen. Sheer prudence demands that we look over our shoulder often, however.
Good news: Iran and its buddies in Hezbollah are attacking our soldiers.
Yes, I think we can negotiate with them. And again a special thank you to Jimmah for liberating the Iranians!
Yes, I think we can negotiate with them. And again a special thank you to Jimmah for liberating the Iranians!
Sunday, July 01, 2007
When Ike farewelled about "the military-industrial complex" he may have had this in mind: the Pentagon's brass asses throwing money at contractors who cannot -- or have willed themselves not to -- deliver.
Google News found me this ineffably sad story (on ESPN.com, of all places! It must have better writing than I'd have thought) about that damfool murdering wrestler. It's a story where everyone loses: the wrestler, his family, the exes, the fans; but one fears the people who most deserve to lose -- the drug pushers of WWE and their "doctor" enablers -- will escape the chokehold, just as in the fictions within the ring, but unlike two very real people in very real life.
In news of "Lotteries" -- USAOKAY!!!!!.com is getting to be as eccentric as a vicarage run by a mental ward -- the wife of a missing soldier gets her green card after the Feds call off the attack dogs, and for a brief moment right reigns in the government.
By the way, we're glad to see the site has restored subheds, which will make it easier to follow the stories, and for us bloggers to blog.
By the way, we're glad to see the site has restored subheds, which will make it easier to follow the stories, and for us bloggers to blog.
Speaking of songs, SUMNER finally brings out His CGI -- you know, the 82-year-old one -- and while we do not trust the ad-blurbists Kenneth brings us to mind (as THE CONSPIRACY often does) of a famed old one: "Is That All There Is?"
One of the great inspirations to people who ram their cars into airports, the Saudis' Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice, is in trouble with its own people, strange as we thought M----ms only opened their mouths when someone drew a mustache on their faith. That women are doing the talking suggests they may have far more courage than the men folk; alas, they certainly have far less to lose.
Wilfrid Sheed has written a book about -- well, let's list the names as Jonathan Yardley does -- Irving Berlin, George Gershwin, "Harold Arlen, Hoagy Carmichael, Jerome Kern, Cole Porter, Richard Rodgers, Johnny Mercer, Frank Loesser", Arthur Schwartz and "heaven knows how many others", and he throws in Fred Astaire for good measure because he introduced so many of their best (and he was a songwriter too, in several ways), and despite the ebullient mood and eager grin inevitably it must be a eulogy, for we know these tunesmiths aren't around anymore, nor the talent, nor the inspiration, nor Fred Astaire; and it won't do to say at least we have their work in recordings and on DVDs, because there's nothing new to supplement it, and that (to say the least) is a frustration.
The World's Oldest Adolescent's successor may say the right thing, but will he do the right thing?
"We will not allow anyone to undermine our British way of life," Brown said.
And what would that be? Gorging on fish and chips while glued to the telly, with a basket of flowers on the mantelpiece for Di -- and a fear of...Buddhists?
"We will not allow anyone to undermine our British way of life," Brown said.
And what would that be? Gorging on fish and chips while glued to the telly, with a basket of flowers on the mantelpiece for Di -- and a fear of...Buddhists?
We're wondering if the marketplace is starting to say Ub Iger's huge acquisition didn't work. And we're sad to say that as Pixar represents a last flicker of whatever creativity is left in this business, and its movies are for families. But how many times can you remake Toy Story, however charming it is?
We suspect Mr. Yippy-Ki-Yay or Hasta-la-Vista or whatever will be out of the houses of ill repute in a fortnight or so, to make room for another tentpole with termites.
It's official: the pander to Christians is a B.O. dud.
It appears too the take will be down again this weekend. Good!
We suspect Mr. Yippy-Ki-Yay or Hasta-la-Vista or whatever will be out of the houses of ill repute in a fortnight or so, to make room for another tentpole with termites.
It's official: the pander to Christians is a B.O. dud.
It appears too the take will be down again this weekend. Good!
Lemme guess: Presbyterian had a suicide belt on.
Isn't singing "Amazing Grace" enough for some people?
Actually, they blew up his car, which obviously wasn't a VW Bus.
Isn't singing "Amazing Grace" enough for some people?
Actually, they blew up his car, which obviously wasn't a VW Bus.
High art in royalty's realm:
Rockers and royals, including Rod Stewart, Elton John and Princes William and Harry, were taking the stage at London’s Wembley Stadium on Sunday to remember Princess Diana almost 10 years after her death in a Paris car crash.
The concert, organized by Diana’s sons, falls on what would have been her 46th birthday. The princess died Aug. 31, 1997, along with her boyfriend Dodi Fayed and their driver when their Mercedes crashed inside the Pont d’Alma tunnel while media photographers pursued them.
The memorial concert features music from some of Diana’s favorite acts, including Tom Jones and 80s chart-toppers Duran Duran. Younger performers include Kanye West, P. Diddy, Joss Stone and Lily Allen.
If the royals are basically commoners with thrones, why should Britons pay zillions for their upkeep? And will that Merrie Olde Lande ever stop mourning for Di?
Rockers and royals, including Rod Stewart, Elton John and Princes William and Harry, were taking the stage at London’s Wembley Stadium on Sunday to remember Princess Diana almost 10 years after her death in a Paris car crash.
The concert, organized by Diana’s sons, falls on what would have been her 46th birthday. The princess died Aug. 31, 1997, along with her boyfriend Dodi Fayed and their driver when their Mercedes crashed inside the Pont d’Alma tunnel while media photographers pursued them.
The memorial concert features music from some of Diana’s favorite acts, including Tom Jones and 80s chart-toppers Duran Duran. Younger performers include Kanye West, P. Diddy, Joss Stone and Lily Allen.
If the royals are basically commoners with thrones, why should Britons pay zillions for their upkeep? And will that Merrie Olde Lande ever stop mourning for Di?
A witness to the attack said on BBC television that one of the car’s occupants had been ablaze from head to foot, and as he struggled with the police “was throwing punches and shouting ‘Allah, Allah.’”
Since when do Presbyterians do that?
Since when do Presbyterians do that?