THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
Blogroll Me!
![[Powered by Blogger]](http://buttons.blogger.com/bloggerbutton1.gif){kind=small}
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Our StinkyInky, under NEW MANAGEMENT, is running a five-parter on the American Catholic church. There isn't much to say, even in one part; like too many churches it has become a self-supporting irrelevance; owning so many schools and colleges and hospitals it's a glorified social-services agency. We see that in the church's high-mucky-mucks, who spend more time worrying about the minimum wage than about their cathecism. And the "faithful," with good reason, don't take it too seriously either.
It's not just the Catholic Church's problem of course. There is not a single American church that combines moral strength, intellectual rigor and cultural excellence. At least one quality is always missing. Thus with the Catholics, for whom the official musical instrument is still the gheetar. Thus with the Baptists and the evangelicals, who undermine their conviction with outright pandering and the musical equivalent of a smiley button, or worse. Thus the liberal Jewish congregations, religious in name only. Thus with the so-called mainstream Protestant denominations, home to droning and political wishy-washiness. Nor do some churches help themselves by turning the other way at internal corruption.
I must confess I haven't been inside a church in ages. Part of me regrets that. Religion is crucial to life; it gives reason to live, and hope. But our churches are in the same funk as everything else. America is several centures removed from the conditions that justified her existence and gave her guts; we're now coasting, like the Europeans, only with a healthier economy. Cranks and rabble-rousers and SUMNERS have a huge void they can fill, and they're doing it nicely.
It's not just the Catholic Church's problem of course. There is not a single American church that combines moral strength, intellectual rigor and cultural excellence. At least one quality is always missing. Thus with the Catholics, for whom the official musical instrument is still the gheetar. Thus with the Baptists and the evangelicals, who undermine their conviction with outright pandering and the musical equivalent of a smiley button, or worse. Thus the liberal Jewish congregations, religious in name only. Thus with the so-called mainstream Protestant denominations, home to droning and political wishy-washiness. Nor do some churches help themselves by turning the other way at internal corruption.
I must confess I haven't been inside a church in ages. Part of me regrets that. Religion is crucial to life; it gives reason to live, and hope. But our churches are in the same funk as everything else. America is several centures removed from the conditions that justified her existence and gave her guts; we're now coasting, like the Europeans, only with a healthier economy. Cranks and rabble-rousers and SUMNERS have a huge void they can fill, and they're doing it nicely.
Iran's president told U.N. chief Kofi Annan on Saturday that a breakthrough in negotiations over its nuclear program was possible, and he welcomed unconditional talks with all parties, including the United States.
Yep, they're up to something.
P. S. IS ST. WARREN's gang looking for an INTERVIEW, a la CNN?
Yep, they're up to something.
P. S. IS ST. WARREN's gang looking for an INTERVIEW, a la CNN?
The multi-talented GREG's inspired a MUSICAL!!!!!
We can imagine the songs: "Springtime for Red States and Dubya"; "Conservatives are the Root of All Evil", "Al, You Is Our Pres'dent Now", "I'm a Native American Too", "I Enjoy Being a Tran"....
Unfortunately it's about Upton Sinclair's EPIC campaign. Better luck next time!
We can imagine the songs: "Springtime for Red States and Dubya"; "Conservatives are the Root of All Evil", "Al, You Is Our Pres'dent Now", "I'm a Native American Too", "I Enjoy Being a Tran"....
Unfortunately it's about Upton Sinclair's EPIC campaign. Better luck next time!
Whenever we get a spasm of PC and demands we look askance at anything wrong with Muslims, something like this pops up.
When will we learn PC is a luxury we can't afford anymore?
Such anti-terror operations in Canada are rare.
Because we're the sort of kinder, gentler nation that wouldn't mind getting wiped off the map?
Intelligence officials suspect at least 50 terror groups now have some presence in the North American nation and have long complained that the country's immigration laws and border security are too weak to weed out potential terrorists.
EH?
When will we learn PC is a luxury we can't afford anymore?
Such anti-terror operations in Canada are rare.
Because we're the sort of kinder, gentler nation that wouldn't mind getting wiped off the map?
Intelligence officials suspect at least 50 terror groups now have some presence in the North American nation and have long complained that the country's immigration laws and border security are too weak to weed out potential terrorists.
EH?
Friday, June 02, 2006
Internet Al's diatribe is getting exactly the same support from VIACON in liberal Web sites that the CON-SER-VA-TIVE 9-11 movie got from GE BANCORP and REALTY in NEWSMAX!!!!! There is a certain fakery to this, the fakery of an industry appeasing all sides and standing for nothing. Such movies are an easy way for the BIZ to perform its alleged public service functions, but a biz run by RUPERT!!!!!!!!! and SUMNER and that disgorges X-Men at every opportunity could only do a public service by shutting down.
I've figured out what it is about Jennifer Aniston -- she looks like a grown up Valley Girl. There's no reason a woman of unconventional looks can't appeal to a man; Bette Davis and Kate Hepburn surely allured many. But this lady looks like anybody. This is precisely the problem with Renée What's-Her-Name. It's a problem of modern Hollywood. Too many actresses not only conjure the Girl Next Door, they resemble the Shlub Next Door.
PAPER OF RE-CORD regulars, reading this story of FDR's home in Hyde Park, must be sighing, if only we had a LIBERAL president again. Meantime con-SER-va-tives furrow their brows and agitate over his perfidy. Both sides miss the point. First off, by modern standards, FDR wasn't a liberal. Second, most of his perfidy resulted from the smoothly running FREE EN-TER-PRISE system before him and historical heroes like Hitler and Stalin. Only a fool -- and there are too many in politics nowadays -- would not admit, whatever his morals or politics, FDR was a great president, yet another real man who makes Dubya look like the less-than-shrimp he is.
One thing that recommends FDR to us is his simple tastes, as evidenced in his study. This is a nice, quiet, cozy, contemplative place to work. If the man had delusions of grandeur they weren't in his rooms.
Another outfit that's possibly outsmarted itself: P&G's razor unit. Consumer Reports ran a test on its new 20-blade men's razor (or however many). Most of the men didn't like it. The idea that we'll willingly pay for ever more expensive razor blades may have hit a wall of product design and human impatience.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In a separate investigation, the Pentagon on Friday cleared U.S. troops of intentionally killing Iraqi civilians in a village north of Baghdad.
We will hear a thousand different excuses, but much as the NEWS HACKS will play these incidents up they will not force us from Iraq, nor will they be much more than nuisances to bear -- because we remember what happened in V-----M.
In a separate investigation, the Pentagon on Friday cleared U.S. troops of intentionally killing Iraqi civilians in a village north of Baghdad.
We will hear a thousand different excuses, but much as the NEWS HACKS will play these incidents up they will not force us from Iraq, nor will they be much more than nuisances to bear -- because we remember what happened in V-----M.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In a separate investigation, the Pentagon on Friday cleared U.S. troops of intentionally killing Iraqi civilians in a village north of Baghdad.
We will har a thousand different excuses, but much as the NEWS HACKS will play them up these incidents a will not force our withdrawal from Iraq, nor will they be much more than nuisances to bear -- because we remember what happened in V-----M.
In a separate investigation, the Pentagon on Friday cleared U.S. troops of intentionally killing Iraqi civilians in a village north of Baghdad.
We will har a thousand different excuses, but much as the NEWS HACKS will play them up these incidents a will not force our withdrawal from Iraq, nor will they be much more than nuisances to bear -- because we remember what happened in V-----M.
We'll just quote the squib from ArtsJournal.com because it says it all:
There's no point debating anything online. You might as well hurl shoes in the air to knock clouds from the sky. The internet's perfect for all manner of things, but productive discussion ain't one of them. It provides scant room for debate and infinite opportunities for fruitless point-scoring: the heady combination of perceived anonymity, gestated responses, random heckling and a notional 'live audience' quickly conspire to create a 'perfect storm' of perpetual bickering. Stumble in, take umbrage with someone, trade a few blows, and within about two or three exchanges, the subject itself goes out the window. Suddenly you're simply arguing about arguing.
The rest here.
There's no point debating anything online. You might as well hurl shoes in the air to knock clouds from the sky. The internet's perfect for all manner of things, but productive discussion ain't one of them. It provides scant room for debate and infinite opportunities for fruitless point-scoring: the heady combination of perceived anonymity, gestated responses, random heckling and a notional 'live audience' quickly conspire to create a 'perfect storm' of perpetual bickering. Stumble in, take umbrage with someone, trade a few blows, and within about two or three exchanges, the subject itself goes out the window. Suddenly you're simply arguing about arguing.
The rest here.
A senior Iranian nuclear official signaled Tehran's determination on Friday to press on with its nuclear work, despite facing what Washington called a "moment of truth" over a program that could produce atomic weapons.
That's okay, Iran -- we'll just TALK SOME MORE.
That's okay, Iran -- we'll just TALK SOME MORE.
Misery loves companies.
In one sense a merger between the two satradio firms makes sense: it would eliminate the forced choice between two providers and maybe even get satradio into home receivers. In another sense it doesn't: it merely doubles the losses.
(Via IWantMedia.com)
In one sense a merger between the two satradio firms makes sense: it would eliminate the forced choice between two providers and maybe even get satradio into home receivers. In another sense it doesn't: it merely doubles the losses.
(Via IWantMedia.com)
In other natural phenomena, the reason stories on natural disasters seem excessive is 1. they're pictorial and 2. they're repetitive. When they mobilize people to contribute aid they're of use, but Jack, do you REALLY think you can "reform" such reporting when by its very nature it's formulaic?
Dow 36,000 tries pulling a snow job on the weather. He shouldn't have bothered; everyone on this subject from the Inventor of the Web to BIGOIL's superfriends does it. By the best estimates the earth's been around for billions of years, and we're figuring out global warming using measurements from the past 100 years, maybe the last thirty of which are reliable, and we fill in the huge gaps with techniques like drilling into the Antarctic ice, which may themselves tell a small fraction of the story. Heck we still don't know what caused the mass extinction of dinosaurs -- 250 million (?) years ago, and we're sure of global warming?
A CLASSIC EXCUSE FROM GREG, in its entirety:
NEW YORK For several days, liberal bloggers have raised serious questions about articles written by the Associated Press's John Solomon concerning Democratic Senate leader Harry Reid's decison to attend boxing matches, with free tickets, in Las Vegas (his native state) when legislation related to boxing was coming before him.
The AP has now responded, but the issues, and charges, are too complex to summarize here. However, the following link, at the site for liberal watchdog Media Matters, includes the AP reply in full, so it's an appropriate place to get both sides [SIC!!!!!]:
http://mediamatters.org/items/200606010009
The site that has been covering this the closest (from a point of view critical of the AP reporter) remains Talking Points Memo and its TPM Muckraker. Talking Points Memo can be found at:
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/
Possibly these two blogs are, er, right -- but it's possible also that GREG is a hyperliberal, and if conservatives complained he wouldn't give them the time of day.
That's what gets me riled about the hacks: they're biased -- and they think they AREN'T. And I'm SURE Greg's one of that crowd.
P. S. I've LINKED, UNLIKE the great GREG.
NEW YORK For several days, liberal bloggers have raised serious questions about articles written by the Associated Press's John Solomon concerning Democratic Senate leader Harry Reid's decison to attend boxing matches, with free tickets, in Las Vegas (his native state) when legislation related to boxing was coming before him.
The AP has now responded, but the issues, and charges, are too complex to summarize here. However, the following link, at the site for liberal watchdog Media Matters, includes the AP reply in full, so it's an appropriate place to get both sides [SIC!!!!!]:
http://mediamatters.org/items/200606010009
The site that has been covering this the closest (from a point of view critical of the AP reporter) remains Talking Points Memo and its TPM Muckraker. Talking Points Memo can be found at:
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/
Possibly these two blogs are, er, right -- but it's possible also that GREG is a hyperliberal, and if conservatives complained he wouldn't give them the time of day.
That's what gets me riled about the hacks: they're biased -- and they think they AREN'T. And I'm SURE Greg's one of that crowd.
P. S. I've LINKED, UNLIKE the great GREG.
To repeat myself, when the SUPERBRAIN hacks encounter a truth it is almost always by accident. Thus again with Ben Brantley, whom not even his family would consider clairvoyant. This time he zings the taxpayer-wasting Kennedy Center's revival of Mame. We may indeed wonder why it's necessary; the show is obsolete in two ways: in the superiority the book-writing Messrs. Lawrence and Lee had to their audience, whom they obviously felt were uptight illiterate reactionaries like the Upsons; and the fact it needs a star turn -- first Roz Russell, then the proposed Judy Garland, whose physical (and mental) illnesses forced her to recuse herself, then Angela Lansbury. All the more sad because this show lives through its superior cast album, and we can't even seek comfort there because such things are the obsessions of "theater queens." And it is painfully obvious just from this one photo that Ben may be right when he says we're past the star-turn phase.
Ho-hum, another massacre, in Indianapolis.
The St. Valentine's day affair became famous because it was so unusual in its time. Now we have these things every day. Is it any wonder jihadists believe they can conquer the world? They could march right in to our own hollow core.
Speaking of Muslims, you don't suppose NEWS HACKS might better serve their inferiors by concentrating on why affairs like this happen rather than hoping they find our soldiers as guilty parties in Iraq?
The St. Valentine's day affair became famous because it was so unusual in its time. Now we have these things every day. Is it any wonder jihadists believe they can conquer the world? They could march right in to our own hollow core.
Speaking of Muslims, you don't suppose NEWS HACKS might better serve their inferiors by concentrating on why affairs like this happen rather than hoping they find our soldiers as guilty parties in Iraq?
Thursday, June 01, 2006
And speaking of J'ACCUSE, here's one for con-SER-va-tives:
GE files 24,000-page tax return
(Via THE FREEP)
GE files 24,000-page tax return
(Via THE FREEP)
We wonder why the hacks haven't picked up on the story of this gentleman's ordeal -- possibly because if they did they'd add to the notion that most of their work isn't worth the paper it's printed on, or the electrons it beams through, possibly because they'd turn it into a J'ACCUSE despite its elements of the unintentionally comical.
Now that we think of it, P. G. WODEHOUSE would have a FIELD day (no pun intended).
Now that we think of it, P. G. WODEHOUSE would have a FIELD day (no pun intended).
Which comes first -- an agreement for Iran to not build nukes, or the first nuke?
Sorry if I've been a bit redundant on this, but the non-news came fast today.
Sorry if I've been a bit redundant on this, but the non-news came fast today.
The Russians agreed to possibly punishing Iran with a lash of a wet noodle.
And while everybody's busy saturating noodles, the Madman dreams of his nukes.
And while everybody's busy saturating noodles, the Madman dreams of his nukes.
Mr. Digital Rules blogs:
My pick for Treasury would have been Steve Forbes, David Malpass or Brian Wesbury.
RAH RAH!
My pick for Treasury would have been Steve Forbes, David Malpass or Brian Wesbury.
RAH RAH!
Now The Corner's in a tizz because G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE's superhyperliberal.
Look, isn't being greedy, sanctimonious and helping jail Chinese dissidents good enough?
Look, isn't being greedy, sanctimonious and helping jail Chinese dissidents good enough?
Okay news hacks, repeat after us -- and repeat, and repeat:
Poll of Voters: BUSH WORST PRESIDENT SINCE WORLD WAR II
Poll of Voters: BUSH WORST PRESIDENT SINCE WORLD WAR II
Now someone at AmSpec says what we said about TNR (or at least about its blog), which means it's become a con-SER-va-tive thing. That the rag should now substitute tantrums for thought was perhaps inevitable for an institution with Michael "The Snide Adolescent" Kinsley, MR. MELODRAMA and Stephen (CRASSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH) Glass in its background; in recent decades it's been more than a bit of a day-care center. Believe us, however, TNR isn't the only rag that sounds like a "blog rant."
P. S. I just added a phrase to my original entry ("ad hominem") because I intended to use it but couldn't think of it. These Latin terms can stump you.
P. S. I just added a phrase to my original entry ("ad hominem") because I intended to use it but couldn't think of it. These Latin terms can stump you.
The other day we suggested it was time for Tom Shales to retire.
He took our advice.
He will still write for the paper for awhile however.
We shouldn't have been so hard on him. He can write solid, pointed reviews. He can also say we're living in a SUPERGIGAMEGAPLATINUM AGE of TV DRAMA.
We don't know how many of these other people deserve to go. We suspect a lot who should won't. At any rate, a new breed of old fogies will take over.
(Via the insuperable ROMY)
He took our advice.
He will still write for the paper for awhile however.
We shouldn't have been so hard on him. He can write solid, pointed reviews. He can also say we're living in a SUPERGIGAMEGAPLATINUM AGE of TV DRAMA.
We don't know how many of these other people deserve to go. We suspect a lot who should won't. At any rate, a new breed of old fogies will take over.
(Via the insuperable ROMY)
Statistic of the Week:
Auto advertising soared in the past 20 years by 1,378% while new-vehicle sales increased by only 17%, Ms. Thompson said. The industry-wide marketing cost per new vehicle sold increased from $50 to $1,000 in the past two decades. When incentives are added, which she said totaled roughly $51 billion last year, automakers are spending around $4,000 in marketing and incentive costs for each vehicle sold.
Who says advertising and marketing don't work?
Nissan North America spent $1.02 billion in U.S. measured media last year, according to TNS Media Intelligence. The automaker spent $950 in measured media per new Nissan and Infiniti sold, based on the automaker's 1.07 million units it said it sold in 2005, an Advertising Age analysis reveals.
And all to get a seal of disapproval from Brent Bozell. That's spending wisely!
Auto advertising soared in the past 20 years by 1,378% while new-vehicle sales increased by only 17%, Ms. Thompson said. The industry-wide marketing cost per new vehicle sold increased from $50 to $1,000 in the past two decades. When incentives are added, which she said totaled roughly $51 billion last year, automakers are spending around $4,000 in marketing and incentive costs for each vehicle sold.
Who says advertising and marketing don't work?
Nissan North America spent $1.02 billion in U.S. measured media last year, according to TNS Media Intelligence. The automaker spent $950 in measured media per new Nissan and Infiniti sold, based on the automaker's 1.07 million units it said it sold in 2005, an Advertising Age analysis reveals.
And all to get a seal of disapproval from Brent Bozell. That's spending wisely!
Elsewhere -- on page A13 so we don't see this first graf:
The Bush administration's decision to consider sitting down with the Iranian government underscores a central truth of diplomacy today: Nuclear weapons buy leverage.
TRANSLATION: The Madman with Nukes can blackmail us.
Thanks again for your STRONG LEADERSHIP, DUBYA!
The Bush administration's decision to consider sitting down with the Iranian government underscores a central truth of diplomacy today: Nuclear weapons buy leverage.
TRANSLATION: The Madman with Nukes can blackmail us.
Thanks again for your STRONG LEADERSHIP, DUBYA!
Some questioned whether President Bush's bid to join talks with Iran over its nuclear program was an offer intended to fail. [Home-page squib]
TRANSLATION: He did it in bad faith -- and why shouldn't we accept the grand, noble and selfless attempt by a world leader like Iran's to achieve PEACE?!?!?
During the past month, according to European officials and some current and former members of the Bush administration....
TRANSLATION: Foggy Bottom's been calling up reporters. Oh -- and has THE GENERAL joined in?
What news hacks don't spin, they sell. And if they're good enough, they can do both.
TRANSLATION: He did it in bad faith -- and why shouldn't we accept the grand, noble and selfless attempt by a world leader like Iran's to achieve PEACE?!?!?
During the past month, according to European officials and some current and former members of the Bush administration....
TRANSLATION: Foggy Bottom's been calling up reporters. Oh -- and has THE GENERAL joined in?
What news hacks don't spin, they sell. And if they're good enough, they can do both.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Okay Wikipedia fans, which article is longer -- the one on George Washington, or the one on THE PRICE IS RIGHT?
No peeking.
No peeking.
RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s tabloid seems to be the only paper paying attention to this new round of French PC riots.
Maybe news hacks are tired of running disclaimers.
Maybe news hacks are tired of running disclaimers.
And here's DOW 36,000's latest brainstorm:
How to Avoid More Enrons: Legalize Fraud
Everytime there's another conviction in corporate America the TCS luxury suite goes DAMN!
This is AT LEAST as lunkheaded as B. S. DEFENDER defending B. S.
How to Avoid More Enrons: Legalize Fraud
Everytime there's another conviction in corporate America the TCS luxury suite goes DAMN!
This is AT LEAST as lunkheaded as B. S. DEFENDER defending B. S.
Sen. Clinton Kicks Off Presidential -- Er, Re-Election Bid [editorial comment added]
Sure, Hillary, sure.
Sure, Hillary, sure.
The impoverished chairman of ExxonMobil (DilbertSpell), Rex, pleads with his board to limit his future benefits packages, a move that seems highly suspect with a company that earned $36 billion last year.
How popular is Lee Raymond? Evidently some of the shareholders were chafing too. "Four members of the compensation committee received 79 to 82 percent of the shares cast." In the upside-down world of Gordon Gekkos that's almost a no vote.
How popular is Lee Raymond? Evidently some of the shareholders were chafing too. "Four members of the compensation committee received 79 to 82 percent of the shares cast." In the upside-down world of Gordon Gekkos that's almost a no vote.
I have not posted before now because G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER had another one of its market-cap-increasing ERRORS.
If I made money writing I would not blog.
If I made money writing I would not blog.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Dallas Green, a champion, opines:
"Baseball players today have too many reasons for excuses."
Salary? Check. AAAAAAAAATTITUDE? Double-check. STEROIDS? TRIPLE-check.
P. S. Elsewhere the paper has A "THEORY" about how the gutty race horse Barbaro got injured, which will soon enough turn into a CONSPIRACY THEORY.
"Baseball players today have too many reasons for excuses."
Salary? Check. AAAAAAAAATTITUDE? Double-check. STEROIDS? TRIPLE-check.
P. S. Elsewhere the paper has A "THEORY" about how the gutty race horse Barbaro got injured, which will soon enough turn into a CONSPIRACY THEORY.
Speaking of The Corner, I wouldn't hold my breath, JO-nah, that G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE will have a Memorial Day tribute next year.
Two mentions of JO-nah in one day is two too many.
Two mentions of JO-nah in one day is two too many.
Here I think The Plank could be a worthy counterpoint to The Corner, and it descends into the kind of cheap juvenile ad hominem name calling you can find anywhere. Don't we have enough of this whiny cry-baby act on the Web?
The TOP FIVE stories in Yahoo! UK & Ireland In the News:
• New-look England off to a winning start
• Walcott England debut breaks Rooney's record
• Germany scramble draw against Japan
• English football hooligans forced to hand over passports
• Chelsea fined over conduct of players during Fulham loss
And the seventh?
• Dan Aykroyd takes UFOs out for a spin
AMERICAN IDOL is EVERYWHERE!!!!!
• New-look England off to a winning start
• Walcott England debut breaks Rooney's record
• Germany scramble draw against Japan
• English football hooligans forced to hand over passports
• Chelsea fined over conduct of players during Fulham loss
And the seventh?
• Dan Aykroyd takes UFOs out for a spin
AMERICAN IDOL is EVERYWHERE!!!!!
Nearly two of every three undergraduate students are going into debt to go to college, owing an average of more than $19,000, most often to the government.
What does Mr. New Treasury Secretary have to say about that?
Or DUBYA? He who equates spending with EHDYUKAYSHUN EKSELLENTS.
P. S.
Was running this pop-up ad a joke?
What does Mr. New Treasury Secretary have to say about that?
Or DUBYA? He who equates spending with EHDYUKAYSHUN EKSELLENTS.
P. S.
Was running this pop-up ad a joke?
Peter Osnos merely confirms what I've said repeatedly, most recently today: some news hacks have written for TOO DAMN LONG.
(Via the usual ROMY)
(Via the usual ROMY)
FBI ends Hoffa search [Front page hed]
So much for that barn raising.
And what did that practical joke of an "informant's" cost us?
So much for that barn raising.
And what did that practical joke of an "informant's" cost us?
I suppose the VOLOKHHEADS of finance have already typed 10 TRILLION WORDS about our new treasury secretary; and it certainly does my standing among the WIGGLY WORMS no good to make fun of his name. But what does a treasury secretary do? Basically he's the boss of the money raisers; and if the IRS's myriad problems are any signal most recent treasury secretaries have passed by unnoticed. One could argue we haven't had a truly powerful one since Andrew Mellon, and even his department admits the Depression pretty well took care of his rep. A treasury secretary could be a national scold for saving, and for sensible tax policy; but when can he have time for that selling bonds and benignly neglecting the tax code? (Or implementing mickey mouse wage and price controls like John Connally, another secretary with a sterling rep.) Besides as two successive WIZARDS of OZ have proved the real power to move the economy lies in the Federal Reserve. They can do wonders just by changing interest rates. Moreover it does seem a cliche of government to appoint high Wall Street mucky mucks to the job, as if the Street knows anything but greed. In the end the treasury bossdom is but a passageway to a professorship, and chairing commissions.
The politically-correct rioting's back on in France.
Dominique Perben, the Transport Minister, called the overnight incident a reminder of last year’s riots, in which 10,000 vehicles and 200 public buildings were torched.
"The question of the suburbs is a question for the entire political class," said M Perben. We must have the courage to look things in the face."
France? COURAGE?!?!? HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
Dominique Perben, the Transport Minister, called the overnight incident a reminder of last year’s riots, in which 10,000 vehicles and 200 public buildings were torched.
"The question of the suburbs is a question for the entire political class," said M Perben. We must have the courage to look things in the face."
France? COURAGE?!?!? HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
In yet another inspired bit of LALA typing (this one courtesy of ROMY), Tim Rutten tells us the press failed with Enron.
What doesn't it fail on?
Not long after Enron's collapse, the Conference Board published a pseudonymous piece by a "longtime-publishing insider" [MY link], who correctly diagnosed the problem this way: "Most of the mainstream business media has been too busy morphing CEOs into celebrities and giving us guided tours of their royal lifestyles. There's been no time to do reality checks on their balance sheets and business practices. Instead, 'the press gave us personal information about Ken Lay's brilliance, his wife's wonderful taste in furniture, and the glamorous lives of other business executives,' says Ron Berenbeim, the Conference Board's expert on business ethics. 'They didn't think we were interested in those boring footnotes in the balance sheet and earnings reports.'
"There's another dilemma…. Many reporters and editors ceased to be journalists in any real sense and began writing what seemed like infomercials and advertising copy…. At first, CEOs were portrayed merely as brilliant business warriors, but during the last five years they have been crowned all-knowing Citizen Kings. After such deification, it's not easy for business reporters to now fall on their keyboards and declare that the emperors are not simply naked but crooked as well. The late George Reedy, press secretary to Lyndon Johnson and a wily student of media, used to say to me: 'Every reporter I know has to whore now and then, but damn if I understand those who pimp too.'"
WELCOME TO THE WHOREHOUSE OF JERNALISM!
What doesn't it fail on?
Not long after Enron's collapse, the Conference Board published a pseudonymous piece by a "longtime-publishing insider" [MY link], who correctly diagnosed the problem this way: "Most of the mainstream business media has been too busy morphing CEOs into celebrities and giving us guided tours of their royal lifestyles. There's been no time to do reality checks on their balance sheets and business practices. Instead, 'the press gave us personal information about Ken Lay's brilliance, his wife's wonderful taste in furniture, and the glamorous lives of other business executives,' says Ron Berenbeim, the Conference Board's expert on business ethics. 'They didn't think we were interested in those boring footnotes in the balance sheet and earnings reports.'
"There's another dilemma…. Many reporters and editors ceased to be journalists in any real sense and began writing what seemed like infomercials and advertising copy…. At first, CEOs were portrayed merely as brilliant business warriors, but during the last five years they have been crowned all-knowing Citizen Kings. After such deification, it's not easy for business reporters to now fall on their keyboards and declare that the emperors are not simply naked but crooked as well. The late George Reedy, press secretary to Lyndon Johnson and a wily student of media, used to say to me: 'Every reporter I know has to whore now and then, but damn if I understand those who pimp too.'"
WELCOME TO THE WHOREHOUSE OF JERNALISM!
TruthLaidBear.com has promoted me to Wiggly Worm, which means nothing as there are more Insignificant Microbes, or whatever he calls them.
Back to a microbe in short order, given how many are hitting me up.
Back to a microbe in short order, given how many are hitting me up.
Elsewhere in the interminably cheery LALA, Pat (no, not Pat Paulsen -- and not the Mogul's Friend, though it could be) convinces us a SUPERGIGAMEGAPLATINUM AGE for musicals is at hand!
Yet as bleak as some critics may paint the musical's future — and they've been doing so for decades....
It's those old fogies who can't see the hundreds of thousands of TWENTY-SOMETHINGS writing masterpieces in their basements!!!!!
Okay PAT, hum us a song by Scott Frankel, Michael Korie, Brenda Russell, Allee Willis, Stephen Bray, Robert Lopez, Jeff Marx, Tom Kidd and Amanda Green!
GERSHWINS ALL!
Is TRIB putting happy juice in the water at LALA to keep the hacks' spirits up?
P. S. It's slugged "Special" meaning it's FREELANCED PR.
(Via the sometimes very annoying ArtsJournal.com)
Yet as bleak as some critics may paint the musical's future — and they've been doing so for decades....
It's those old fogies who can't see the hundreds of thousands of TWENTY-SOMETHINGS writing masterpieces in their basements!!!!!
Okay PAT, hum us a song by Scott Frankel, Michael Korie, Brenda Russell, Allee Willis, Stephen Bray, Robert Lopez, Jeff Marx, Tom Kidd and Amanda Green!
GERSHWINS ALL!
Is TRIB putting happy juice in the water at LALA to keep the hacks' spirits up?
P. S. It's slugged "Special" meaning it's FREELANCED PR.
(Via the sometimes very annoying ArtsJournal.com)
By a 5-4 vote, justices [SIC] said the nation's 20 million public employees do not have carte blanche free speech rights to disclose government's inner-workings. New Justice Samuel Alito cast the tie-breaking vote.
THE FORCES OF REACTION...oh, never mind.
P-Ulitzer Prizes will DEFINITELY be harder to campaign for.
THE FORCES OF REACTION...oh, never mind.
P-Ulitzer Prizes will DEFINITELY be harder to campaign for.
Paulson Nominated as Treasury Secretary
Well, at least it wasn't Pat.
Oh, he spelled his name with an E. No matter.
At least he didn't choose the Kellogg's man either, as some Cornerite predicted.
Well, at least it wasn't Pat.
Oh, he spelled his name with an E. No matter.
At least he didn't choose the Kellogg's man either, as some Cornerite predicted.
In other blurb news Tom Shale [sic] becomes the 23,649th TV blurbist to tell us we're living in a SUPERGIGAMEGAPLATINUM AGE OF TV DRAMA, which merely reminds us he's nearing Social Security and has been shilling for 34 years. Time to retire, Tom?
I know this might nowadays be called an arthouse picture -- I'm sorry, to me that's a term of shame -- but we once had a healthy foreign film business which didn't need help from euphemisms; and looking at this still -- that's Claudia Cardinale (what became of her?) with Jacques Perrin in something called Girl with a Suitcase (what a title!), by Valerio Zurlini -- there was also a time when men at the movies had something to look forward to.
One thing about my job and my apartment is they leave me no money to waste buying DVDs or else I'd go ahead and search this out. Quite possibly it's dull -- it is, after all, endorsed by The Paper of Re-cord -- but then again, with a face like that, maybe it isn't.
Monday, May 29, 2006
By accident we came across a piece of junk called ABCePrep, whose motto is, "We read, watch, interview and cover... so you don't have to!" What it covers it mostly celebrity bilge.
See, here's the problem, ABCePrep -- the reason CHEAP CHANNEL and its friends are held in such HIGH ESTEEM is that they've AUTOMATED HUMANS OUT OF EXISTENCE! (Except in the sales departments.) This whatisit is just another way of automating radio, and of boasting of our superiority over our listeners. It's been ages since I listened to the radio; it will be ages more before I resume -- thanks to gags like ABCEPREP.
P. S.
Radio: Know the Facts
MYTH: Consolidation in the radio industry is at dangerous levels.
FACT: Radio is the least consolidated segment of the media industry -- by far according to The Herfindahl-Hirschman Index [there's Groucho again -- Say the secret woid and you'll win a radio chain!], the metric often cited by the Department of Justice. Specifically, the top-5 music companies account for 85% of that industry’s market share; the top-8 film companies account for 84%; the top-10 cable companies account for 67%; the top 6 ad agencies companies account for 65%; and the top-10 radio companies account for 43%.
WHEW!!!!! Am I relieved.
See, here's the problem, ABCePrep -- the reason CHEAP CHANNEL and its friends are held in such HIGH ESTEEM is that they've AUTOMATED HUMANS OUT OF EXISTENCE! (Except in the sales departments.) This whatisit is just another way of automating radio, and of boasting of our superiority over our listeners. It's been ages since I listened to the radio; it will be ages more before I resume -- thanks to gags like ABCEPREP.
P. S.
Radio: Know the Facts
MYTH: Consolidation in the radio industry is at dangerous levels.
FACT: Radio is the least consolidated segment of the media industry -- by far according to The Herfindahl-Hirschman Index [there's Groucho again -- Say the secret woid and you'll win a radio chain!], the metric often cited by the Department of Justice. Specifically, the top-5 music companies account for 85% of that industry’s market share; the top-8 film companies account for 84%; the top-10 cable companies account for 67%; the top 6 ad agencies companies account for 65%; and the top-10 radio companies account for 43%.
WHEW!!!!! Am I relieved.
Will PAUL DRECK P-LEASE explain to me why a film that does $45 million the first day of a holiday weekend, and $17 million the FOURTH day of a holiday weekend, is still an ALL TIME BOFFO SMASH?????
And despite the mighty exertion it appears the biz is just even in admissions from last year -- and down from 2004.
And despite the mighty exertion it appears the biz is just even in admissions from last year -- and down from 2004.
One wonders if someone in the EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-U read this article, because all of a sudden this same EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-U professes to be worried about terrorism.
Why can such worries be turned on and off like a light bulb, or the brain in an EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-U bureaucrat?
Why can such worries be turned on and off like a light bulb, or the brain in an EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-U bureaucrat?
Really, JO-nah, it's a little late in the day to expect G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE to do the right thing.
The cloyingly-cute thing, the $100,000-a-share-self-serving thing, the dissident-imprisoning thing, but not the right thing.
The cloyingly-cute thing, the $100,000-a-share-self-serving thing, the dissident-imprisoning thing, but not the right thing.
If I were a billionaire with a penchant for mischief I'd go into King Denny's district sometime around September and plaster all sorts of ads and billboards reminding the voters what a nice guy he is. "Le Congress c'est MOI!" Better still, I'd begin a concerted effort to encourage write-in candidates, possibly including real people. While many would still vote for the King out of habit or mere stupidity, I'd like to think an embarrassment possible -- assuming King Denny could be embarrassed, which is doubtful.
In the middle of their self-righteous crying-into-their-non-alcoholic-beer sessions blaming their inferiors the CONSTITUENTS for all their woes micro-tyrants like King Denny must be screaming, "THEY JUST DON'T GET IT!" We get it. You're excusing yourselves on a legalism. And if the Constitution is such a perfect vessel why have you Congresspoops filled it over the decades with pieces of -- LEGISLATION?
P. S. I see he does have an "opponent", but really, a write-in candidacy would be better. Still King Denny neglects what happened to OUR state legislaTERRS at his own peril. And he should recall too how one his illustrious predecessors, the now forgotten Tom Foley, got knocked off.
In the middle of their self-righteous crying-into-their-non-alcoholic-beer sessions blaming their inferiors the CONSTITUENTS for all their woes micro-tyrants like King Denny must be screaming, "THEY JUST DON'T GET IT!" We get it. You're excusing yourselves on a legalism. And if the Constitution is such a perfect vessel why have you Congresspoops filled it over the decades with pieces of -- LEGISLATION?
P. S. I see he does have an "opponent", but really, a write-in candidacy would be better. Still King Denny neglects what happened to OUR state legislaTERRS at his own peril. And he should recall too how one his illustrious predecessors, the now forgotten Tom Foley, got knocked off.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
And when will the dirty laundry come out about how NEWS HACKS campaign for their BIZ' OS-CAR®, the P-ULITZER®?
I think it's time these GIANTS came out and ran ADS: FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION....
I think it's time these GIANTS came out and ran ADS: FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION....
Frist Backs Search of Congressman's Office
Oops, Dr. Weenie must have heard from his constituents too.
Oops, Dr. Weenie must have heard from his constituents too.
I don't care what the PAUL DRECKS say; numbers like these show THE CONSPIRACY is chasing people out of the popcorn restaurants. The first day proves the publicity campaign works. The second day proves the movie DOESN'T.
And this is the second highly overpublicized piece of -- CINEMA in two weeks to do this. Oh well, who gives a damn as long as the show-biz flacks can yell out the GROSSES even as they're toadying for JOBS.
And this is the second highly overpublicized piece of -- CINEMA in two weeks to do this. Oh well, who gives a damn as long as the show-biz flacks can yell out the GROSSES even as they're toadying for JOBS.
And speaking of RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, what if His GREATEST TRIUMPH YET tanks?
(Via The Blog Herald)
(Via The Blog Herald)
Is it me or are the TRUTH TELLERS subjecting us to more upsetting private tragedies?
We must always hate the hacks because they get a certain glee out reporting such stories, a glee that is only intensified when they can slant the imporant news and rule the world.
We must always hate the hacks because they get a certain glee out reporting such stories, a glee that is only intensified when they can slant the imporant news and rule the world.
And speaking of SYNERGY:
MEDIA MIRACLE
INDUSTRY CRAWLING BACK TO THE FOREFRONT
By PETER LAURIA
The year 2006 is shaping up to be the year of Big — if not old — Media. Left for dead at the turn of the century, investors have reawakened to the virtues of Big Media amid an explosion in distribution outlets for content, a robust deal environment and solid financial results, including large share-buyback plans from the likes of Disney and News Corp. (which owns The Post).
A synergistic NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD to PETE!
MEDIA MIRACLE
INDUSTRY CRAWLING BACK TO THE FOREFRONT
By PETER LAURIA
The year 2006 is shaping up to be the year of Big — if not old — Media. Left for dead at the turn of the century, investors have reawakened to the virtues of Big Media amid an explosion in distribution outlets for content, a robust deal environment and solid financial results, including large share-buyback plans from the likes of Disney and News Corp. (which owns The Post).
A synergistic NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD to PETE!
A year and a half ago when we punched "synergy" into G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE we got 7,680,000 hits.
Today we did it and we got 62,400,000 HITS.
The Republic does not stand a chance.
P. S. With quotes it's 62,800,000.
Today we did it and we got 62,400,000 HITS.
The Republic does not stand a chance.
P. S. With quotes it's 62,800,000.
Another disciple of LEGENDARY WELCH:
Interviews with a dozen former employees painted Haddad as a leader who accomplished much during his three years as president of St. Elizabeth's and two years as chief executive of Caritas Christi, including most recently bringing the system its first substantial profit in five years. He centralized administrative functions and began to standardize the care provided by the six hospitals and to establish St. Elizabeth's as a referral center for the five outlying community hospitals.
But those interviews also revealed deep discomfort among some with Haddad's management style, which sometimes involved bruising public battles in which he yelled at managers and physicians across conference tables. He seemed more intense after he took over Caritas Christi, leaving subordinates afraid to disagree with him and prompting others to leave the organization.
Plus he hugged and kissed the girls, making him a disciple of -- EDDIE?
Interviews with a dozen former employees painted Haddad as a leader who accomplished much during his three years as president of St. Elizabeth's and two years as chief executive of Caritas Christi, including most recently bringing the system its first substantial profit in five years. He centralized administrative functions and began to standardize the care provided by the six hospitals and to establish St. Elizabeth's as a referral center for the five outlying community hospitals.
But those interviews also revealed deep discomfort among some with Haddad's management style, which sometimes involved bruising public battles in which he yelled at managers and physicians across conference tables. He seemed more intense after he took over Caritas Christi, leaving subordinates afraid to disagree with him and prompting others to leave the organization.
Plus he hugged and kissed the girls, making him a disciple of -- EDDIE?
Further meantime Dick "GUNS CAUSED COLUMBINE" Corliss sniffs out many masterpieces at Cannes, proof any editor who wanted to put out a thoughtful newsrag has his work cut out for him.
P. S.
We like Kirsten's long brown hair too, but isn't this a sign the hacks are going -- too far?
As every synergist in the "news" trade would say, the answer is NO.
And why were they taking pictures of her back?
P. S.
We like Kirsten's long brown hair too, but isn't this a sign the hacks are going -- too far?
As every synergist in the "news" trade would say, the answer is NO.
And why were they taking pictures of her back?
Meantime the TWXSTERS do some honest-to-God REPORTING -- about CONGO. This is how the newsrags could get their moxie back -- by devoting considerable resources to stories undercovered by our media, and that have less of a chance to be tainted with bias. But could any newsrag editor stand not to sway elections and sell show-biz? We doubt it.
The glum cover probably won't help; this will probably be the worst selling issue of the year at the newsstands.
The glum cover probably won't help; this will probably be the worst selling issue of the year at the newsstands.
