THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
Blogroll Me!
![[Powered by Blogger]](http://buttons.blogger.com/bloggerbutton1.gif){kind=small}
Saturday, July 09, 2005
I suppose no one will notice that LUKE SPIELBERG'S masterwork about 9/11 has apparently DECLINED 60 PERCENT week-to-week. The unfailing God Who helped put TENTPOLE and FRANCHISE in the American lexicon now knows what it's like to share space with the creators of -- COMIC-BOOK MOVIES. Luke is nothing more than the master of THE BLACK CROOKS of action flicks. The Black Crook disappeared, and by rights so will the OEUVRE of LUKE SPIELBERG.
More from the wonderful world of GRAFFITI AHT:
The beautiful losers in this show have come up against an unpleasant truth that wannabe avant-gardes always confront: In visual art, there's a big difference between wanting to rebel and actually making art that's new and dangerous. More often than not, rebellion just leads to cliches of rebelliousness. That must be why so much of the art that has recently come in off the street and into our museums has such clear precedents, to the point of seeming awfully derivative.
Translation: there are only so many ways to VANDALIZE -- and so many ways to reach AHT writers.
The beautiful losers in this show have come up against an unpleasant truth that wannabe avant-gardes always confront: In visual art, there's a big difference between wanting to rebel and actually making art that's new and dangerous. More often than not, rebellion just leads to cliches of rebelliousness. That must be why so much of the art that has recently come in off the street and into our museums has such clear precedents, to the point of seeming awfully derivative.
Translation: there are only so many ways to VANDALIZE -- and so many ways to reach AHT writers.
Francois Mitterand engaged in some "NEUTRALISATION" (sic).
What did you say about British food, JACQUEASS?
What did you say about British food, JACQUEASS?
Who says WALTER "SPYWARE" WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! can't affect HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSTORRRRRRRRRY?
The proliferation of spyware and other unwanted software certainly seems to be changing the way the Internet is used, according to the survey of 1,336 users, conducted between May 4 and June 7. More than 91% of those questioned reported making at least one change in their online behavior to avoid downloading viruses and spyware. The survey had a margin of error of 3%.
Anything for CHANGE, WALTER!!!!!!!!!!
The proliferation of spyware and other unwanted software certainly seems to be changing the way the Internet is used, according to the survey of 1,336 users, conducted between May 4 and June 7. More than 91% of those questioned reported making at least one change in their online behavior to avoid downloading viruses and spyware. The survey had a margin of error of 3%.
Anything for CHANGE, WALTER!!!!!!!!!!
It -- figures:
Small wonder that even though they were aimed at the red-blooded hetero male of his day, Meyer's films became icons of gay camp, with [John] Waters and Camille Paglia two of his most devoted fans.
PINCH discovers a PC NUDIE FILMMAKER!
Indeed, the production stills and titles are sometimes all you need to see of a Russ Meyer film.
We need THE PAPER OF RE-CORD to tell us THAT?
Small wonder that even though they were aimed at the red-blooded hetero male of his day, Meyer's films became icons of gay camp, with [John] Waters and Camille Paglia two of his most devoted fans.
PINCH discovers a PC NUDIE FILMMAKER!
Indeed, the production stills and titles are sometimes all you need to see of a Russ Meyer film.
We need THE PAPER OF RE-CORD to tell us THAT?
Another one from the dark ages:
An influential cardinal in the Roman Catholic Church, which has long been regarded as an ally of the theory of evolution, is now suggesting that belief in evolution as accepted by science today may be incompatible with Catholic faith.
When will these Catholics learn SCIENCE IS ALWAYS RIGHT?
An influential cardinal in the Roman Catholic Church, which has long been regarded as an ally of the theory of evolution, is now suggesting that belief in evolution as accepted by science today may be incompatible with Catholic faith.
When will these Catholics learn SCIENCE IS ALWAYS RIGHT?
U.S. commander says insurgency has taken a major blow
We'll keep our fingers crossed, but we know Yogi Berra too.
We'll keep our fingers crossed, but we know Yogi Berra too.
YESTERDAY:
SHOW US THE CHIEF! [K. J. Lopez]
Drudge has up: "BUSH GETS TWO: REPORT: REHNQUIST RETIRES; TO BE ANNOUNCED TONIGHT "
Posted at 04:55 PM
I'm NOT bookmarking WALTER "SPYWARE" WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! on my new computer.
SHOW US THE CHIEF! [K. J. Lopez]
Drudge has up: "BUSH GETS TWO: REPORT: REHNQUIST RETIRES; TO BE ANNOUNCED TONIGHT "
Posted at 04:55 PM
I'm NOT bookmarking WALTER "SPYWARE" WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! on my new computer.
The Hollywood Stenographer devises another excuse:
[T]his year's pictures aren't any worse than usual. They meet the studio standard -- such as it is.
Gol-LY, I thought B.O. was the be-all and end-all! Now you tell us maybe the movies STINK -- although not anymore than usual? GAWWWWSH.
As ever, just when Hollywood thinks it has figured out the winning formula -- build tentpoles, sell the bejeezus out of them, and everyone will come -- it's way past time to come up with a totally new approach.
You mean new kinds of tentpoles?
[T]his year's pictures aren't any worse than usual. They meet the studio standard -- such as it is.
Gol-LY, I thought B.O. was the be-all and end-all! Now you tell us maybe the movies STINK -- although not anymore than usual? GAWWWWSH.
As ever, just when Hollywood thinks it has figured out the winning formula -- build tentpoles, sell the bejeezus out of them, and everyone will come -- it's way past time to come up with a totally new approach.
You mean new kinds of tentpoles?
WELL! I'm back to posting from home! I had a little trouble procuring my monitor but here it is -- a LENNY! I had a few problems last night -- like discovering a very tiny dent in the monitor (oh well, it's refurbished) and that IBM didn't hook up the power for my DVD drive or give me all the memory I'm entitled too (that's a phone call -- I just hope we don't have another WHOOPS), but here I am, ready to torment all three of my surfers!
Friday, July 08, 2005
More genius in the THEA-TAH:
One's Company: [Suzanne] Somers Brings Solo Show to Broadway July 8
And two's a crowd?
One's Company: [Suzanne] Somers Brings Solo Show to Broadway July 8
And two's a crowd?
The U.S. Army has issued a new order for work in Iraq that could mean around $5 billion in revenue for Halliburton.
I SMELL DICK CHENEY!!!!!
WAPOST!!!!! PAPER OF RE-CORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I SMELL DICK CHENEY!!!!!
WAPOST!!!!! PAPER OF RE-CORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Update: Ex-USA Today newsman Squitieri lands PR job
So what? Aren't they all in the biz sooner or later?
So what? Aren't they all in the biz sooner or later?
A man arrested when police showed up to break up a New Year's Eve party at a friend's house has filed a lawsuit, arguing he had a constitutional right to get drunk on private property as long as he didn't cause a public disturbance.
I'll drink to that! (HIC!)
I'll drink to that! (HIC!)
It's official: ROCK-MUSIC AD-BLURB COPYWRITING STINKS.
And so, we may add, do CRITIQUES OF ROCK-MUSIC AD-BLURB COPYWRITING.
And no, we're not impressed with The New Yorkah, the universe's most overrated magazine.
Thank you AGAIN, Romy! (?!?!?)
And so, we may add, do CRITIQUES OF ROCK-MUSIC AD-BLURB COPYWRITING.
And no, we're not impressed with The New Yorkah, the universe's most overrated magazine.
Thank you AGAIN, Romy! (?!?!?)
The mother who hired a stripper for her teenage son's birthday party and provided an outstanding inspirational message for courageous anti-prudes like STERNO -- "Who are they to tell me what I can and can't show to my own children?" -- has been sentenced with her husband to two years' probation.
"We even had grandpa there," she said.
All the more reason!
"We even had grandpa there," she said.
All the more reason!
Former Morgan Stanley Chief Executive Philip Purcell will receive about $44 million in fiscal 2005 and 2006 combined, depending on the company's earning results those years, according to a regulatory filing released Thursday.
LARRY KUDLOW! ANOTHER HERO FOR YOU!
LARRY KUDLOW! ANOTHER HERO FOR YOU!
The Big I's back for CHRYSLER!
Buy a Chrysler! It's your PATRIOTIC DUTY! (Even if it's a CHEHRMAN company.)
Buy a Chrysler! It's your PATRIOTIC DUTY! (Even if it's a CHEHRMAN company.)
Aw SHUCKS -- the unemployment rate falls to 5%. What will the DEMS do now?
Happily THE PAPER OF RE-CORD looks at the BRIGHT SIDE:
June Job Creation Lags Behind Expectations
Happily THE PAPER OF RE-CORD looks at the BRIGHT SIDE:
June Job Creation Lags Behind Expectations
Among the practitioners in the brave new world of blogging: a likely double-murderer.
Oh well, he was a -- computer programmer.
PROFESSOR!!!!!
Oh well, he was a -- computer programmer.
PROFESSOR!!!!!
Stirrings of PC at THE PAPER OF RE-CORD:
Many will wonder why the United States is mired in Iraq while Al Qaeda's leader still roams free.
We wonder too. But the problem won't be solved by us pulling out hastily from Iraq while engaging in a wild-goose chase -- something THE PAPER and MANY DEMOCRATS will no doubt propose during the next several days, under the cover of terrorism.
Many will wonder why the United States is mired in Iraq while Al Qaeda's leader still roams free.
We wonder too. But the problem won't be solved by us pulling out hastily from Iraq while engaging in a wild-goose chase -- something THE PAPER and MANY DEMOCRATS will no doubt propose during the next several days, under the cover of terrorism.
Hey ZELIG SELIG! Baseball's such a BIG sport it's out of the GE BANCORP GAMES effective 2012! How's THAT for a COMEBACK!
Softball too! So much for women's sports.
Softball too! So much for women's sports.
I think it's going to be 20:
"Fantastic Four" is based on the Marvel Comics title that has lasted for more than 500 issues since its first appearance in 1961. But after watching this dramatically inert movie, you might assume its source was the cartoons of Hanna-Barbera.
OUCH!
"Fantastic Four" is based on the Marvel Comics title that has lasted for more than 500 issues since its first appearance in 1961. But after watching this dramatically inert movie, you might assume its source was the cartoons of Hanna-Barbera.
OUCH!
Do you suppose today the muftis were preaching non-violence -- with a smile?
Thursday, July 07, 2005
SUPERHOOPER opens his mouth.
Let us hope this time he's sincere. The first time it took him long enough.
In England they seem to have got the humane message.
Let us hope this time he's sincere. The first time it took him long enough.
In England they seem to have got the humane message.
Aw SHUCKS, the NHL (?) isn't THAT close to a deal.
SKNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.
SKNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.
OH oh, Steve Case (remember HIM?) wants to do for HEALTH CARE what he did for the WEB!
Now if he does what AOL did to -- NEVER MIND.
Now if he does what AOL did to -- NEVER MIND.
Already the drivel begins, and not just from the cable maws:
London Attacks May Hurt U.K. Growth, Weigh on Global Demand, Blah Blah Blah
OH, SHUT UP.
London Attacks May Hurt U.K. Growth, Weigh on Global Demand, Blah Blah Blah
OH, SHUT UP.
Not all goes badly today: Despite the fervent help of EDNAS, "music" CD sales are down again!
I've said it before -- maybe even the young headbangers are sick of stuff that sounds like headbanging.
I've said it before -- maybe even the young headbangers are sick of stuff that sounds like headbanging.
Lest we forget, the holy cockroaches provided their OSAMA CHANNEL STRINGER with his STORY, as I rather expected they might.
Wonder how they're feeling in EGYPT?
Wonder how they're feeling in EGYPT?
How do you suppose they're feeling around Finsbury Park today?
It would be nice to have a number. PAPEROFRE-CORD.com and other sources still insist it's two. That has to be wrong. Too many sources are going by some UNNAMED U. S. OFFICIAL insisting it's 40, and they INSIST he got it from the British. WHO HE? Could we have an accurate number, please?
P. S. I am forced to remember that on 9/11 or the day after NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ran a story quoting a "New York Port Authority official" saying "30,000 DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Thankfully it was a fraction of that, still an obscene fraction, but it could have been worse. The same, I suspect, this time.
Now the MESS is claiming "at least 33" without any source. I think it best to sit and wait here.
P. S. I am forced to remember that on 9/11 or the day after NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ran a story quoting a "New York Port Authority official" saying "30,000 DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Thankfully it was a fraction of that, still an obscene fraction, but it could have been worse. The same, I suspect, this time.
Now the MESS is claiming "at least 33" without any source. I think it best to sit and wait here.
Here's a happier note to strike. That they're ANIME FANS doesn't bother me -- much. But watch out for that GREEN HAIR.
Meantime, I type "Islam" in in GoogleNews, and the first thing out IS:
Abdullah fights the unjust campaigns to which Islam is subjected.
According to PETRA, Muslim Ulama (scholars and thinkers) on Wednesday expressed their appreciation for His Majesty Abdullah's relentless efforts in highlighting the true image of Islam and fighting the unjust campaigns to which Islam is subjected.
The scholars and thinkers sent today a cable to His Majesty in which they affirmed that scholars and thinkers from different Islamic school thought seized the occasion of the conclusion of their conference to express their appreciation and thanks for His Majesty's warm and generous host the prominent scholars received during their stay in Amman.
They also expressed appreciation for His Majesty's inaugurating speech in which the King deep-rooted the image of Islam which is unifying the adherents of the eight Islamic school thought and the mutual acknowledgement of all schools of Islamic thought.
They also praised Jordan's role in highlighting the true image of Islam and fighting all forms of unjust campaigns and accusations Islam is facing. And they commended the role of Hashemite family members in serving Islam and Muslims.
MOSSAD DEED EEET!!!!!
Abdullah fights the unjust campaigns to which Islam is subjected.
According to PETRA, Muslim Ulama (scholars and thinkers) on Wednesday expressed their appreciation for His Majesty Abdullah's relentless efforts in highlighting the true image of Islam and fighting the unjust campaigns to which Islam is subjected.
The scholars and thinkers sent today a cable to His Majesty in which they affirmed that scholars and thinkers from different Islamic school thought seized the occasion of the conclusion of their conference to express their appreciation and thanks for His Majesty's warm and generous host the prominent scholars received during their stay in Amman.
They also expressed appreciation for His Majesty's inaugurating speech in which the King deep-rooted the image of Islam which is unifying the adherents of the eight Islamic school thought and the mutual acknowledgement of all schools of Islamic thought.
They also praised Jordan's role in highlighting the true image of Islam and fighting all forms of unjust campaigns and accusations Islam is facing. And they commended the role of Hashemite family members in serving Islam and Muslims.
MOSSAD DEED EEET!!!!!
Scotland Yard has also denied a report that it was warned of the attacks by Israel a few minutes before they happened. Israeli Finance Minister Benjamin Netanyahu had been scheduled to give a speech to an Israeli corporate investment conference in London, but Ha'aretz reports that he has been told to stay in his hotel by the Israeli government.
Let's see what the OSAMA CHANNEL and the SUPERHOOPERS can do with THIS one.
Let's see what the OSAMA CHANNEL and the SUPERHOOPERS can do with THIS one.
Can anyone imagine us using our health-care system less? Can anyone imagine the HIT to our economy -- to BIG DRUGS, BIG HOSPITALS, BIG MEDIA, not to mention BIG GOVERNMENT -- if people used the health-care system LESS?
BusinessWeek (DilbertSpell) may be getting useful.
BusinessWeek (DilbertSpell) may be getting useful.
OH oh, MORE richly deserved trouble for THE CONSPIRACY:
With a villain named Dr. Doom, you'd expect a little menace - or at least a smidgen of suspense - to balance the big-budget special effects in Tim Story's "Fantastic Four."
But this adaptation of the popular Marvel Comics superhero series plays like a neighborhood Halloween party, where the guests spend the evening checking each other out and trying to guess who will win Best Costume.
With a villain named Dr. Doom, you'd expect a little menace - or at least a smidgen of suspense - to balance the big-budget special effects in Tim Story's "Fantastic Four."
But this adaptation of the popular Marvel Comics superhero series plays like a neighborhood Halloween party, where the guests spend the evening checking each other out and trying to guess who will win Best Costume.
Of course the FI-NANCIAL MARKETS went COWARDLY NUTS, the proverbial elephant scared by a mouse, but then next to NEWS HACKS they're a holy cockroach's best friend. Naturally these are the same idiots who can send stocks up when a company's founder dies.
Oil went DOWN?
Oil went DOWN?
I have not commented on the Judith Miller business because it strikes me as the ultimate exercise in inside baseball. I'm not sure reporters should be arrested for withholding sources from the authorities, but I'm not sure I care an awful lot either.
Report: Violent Islamic group claims responsibility for blasts. More soon ... [MSNBC]
Whether or not this is PR, let us remember, this was most likely not Christians (except the deranged kind in Northern Ireland on BOTH sides), or Jews, or Buddhists, or Hindus, and that such acts enjoy substantial support among this particular religion, SUPERHOOPER notwithstanding.
Whether or not this is PR, let us remember, this was most likely not Christians (except the deranged kind in Northern Ireland on BOTH sides), or Jews, or Buddhists, or Hindus, and that such acts enjoy substantial support among this particular religion, SUPERHOOPER notwithstanding.
Which reminds us:
Just as scientists are pursuing early-warning systems for everything from earthquakes to hurricanes, public-health officials are monitoring potential epidemics as never before.
There's just one problem. Better detection has spawned several false alarms over the past few decades, potentially undermining the credibility of warnings.
We have a term for this: Ridgeitis.
Just as scientists are pursuing early-warning systems for everything from earthquakes to hurricanes, public-health officials are monitoring potential epidemics as never before.
There's just one problem. Better detection has spawned several false alarms over the past few decades, potentially undermining the credibility of warnings.
We have a term for this: Ridgeitis.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Kidnappers of Egypt's top diplomat in Iraq threatened to kill him because Egypt has allied with "Jews and Christians," according to a statement posted Wednesday on an al Qaeda-linked Web site.
Al Qaeda's religious court decided to hand over Ihab Sherif to its fighters "to carry out the punishment of apostasy against him," said the statement on the site associated with al Qaeda in Iraq. Under Islam, apostasy, or changing religion, is punishable by death.
Hey OSAMA CHANNEL! When's your STRINGER going to hand you the TAPE?
Al Qaeda's religious court decided to hand over Ihab Sherif to its fighters "to carry out the punishment of apostasy against him," said the statement on the site associated with al Qaeda in Iraq. Under Islam, apostasy, or changing religion, is punishable by death.
Hey OSAMA CHANNEL! When's your STRINGER going to hand you the TAPE?
Shucks! The con-SER-va-tives' favorite tyrant loses his immunity!
DOUBLE shucks!
Hey, it was an 11-10 vote! Blue-staters versus -- never mind.
DOUBLE shucks!
Hey, it was an 11-10 vote! Blue-staters versus -- never mind.
The ruler of Monaco, Prince Albert II, has acknowledged having fathered an illegitimate son with a former flight attendant from Togo, his lawyer said Wednesday.
Looks like the principality keeps its perfect batting average.
Looks like the principality keeps its perfect batting average.
Fast typin' at USAOKAY.com:
Transit strike averted in California Union workers reach deal two hours before trains were set to resume running
Transit strike averted in California Union workers reach deal two hours before trains were set to resume running
The first official act of PRESIDENT RODHAM -- FAILS!!!!!
Two NewsMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! citations in one day? Sorry!
Two NewsMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! citations in one day? Sorry!
Former Attorney General Ed Meese flatly denied he warned President Bush not to nominate Alberto Gonzales to the Supreme Court.
Is somebody running for president?
Is somebody running for president?
Morocco's largesse helped a holy cockroach preach the gospel of boom.
I guess we have ANOTHER "ALLY" to worry about.
I guess we have ANOTHER "ALLY" to worry about.
London gets the GE BANCORP GAMES!
Let the money start pouring down the drain!
Anyone heard of the MILLENNIUM DOME?
P. S. Did JACQUEASS'S MOUTH cinch it?
Let the money start pouring down the drain!
Anyone heard of the MILLENNIUM DOME?
P. S. Did JACQUEASS'S MOUTH cinch it?
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
For more than a year, the organization has been beset by problems - including a revenue shortfall, stagnant membership and ethical complaints about its last president - that have raised concerns about its vitality and ability to recruit younger blacks. Republicans have also attacked it as biased in favor of Democrats, an assertion the N.A.A.C.P., a nonprofit group, strongly denies.
Well! You don't say! You certainly learn all sorts of things from THE PAPER OF RE-CORD.
Or as Julian Bond might orate:
"THEIR IDEA OF EQUAL RIGHTS IS THE AMERICAN FLAG AND THE CONFEDERATE SWASTIKA FLYING SIDE BY SIDE! THEY'VE WRITTEN A NEW CONSTITUTION FOR IRAQ AND IGNORE THE CONSTITUTION HERE AT HOME!! THEY DRAW THEIR MOST RABID SUPPORTERS FROM THE TALIBAN WING OF AMERICAN POLITICS!!! NOW THEY WANT TO WRITE BIGOTRY BACK INTO THE CONSTITUTION!!!!!"
(Sorry for the BOZELLNEWS.)
Well! You don't say! You certainly learn all sorts of things from THE PAPER OF RE-CORD.
Or as Julian Bond might orate:
"THEIR IDEA OF EQUAL RIGHTS IS THE AMERICAN FLAG AND THE CONFEDERATE SWASTIKA FLYING SIDE BY SIDE! THEY'VE WRITTEN A NEW CONSTITUTION FOR IRAQ AND IGNORE THE CONSTITUTION HERE AT HOME!! THEY DRAW THEIR MOST RABID SUPPORTERS FROM THE TALIBAN WING OF AMERICAN POLITICS!!! NOW THEY WANT TO WRITE BIGOTRY BACK INTO THE CONSTITUTION!!!!!"
(Sorry for the BOZELLNEWS.)
Teachers union asks for higher salaries
This being the NEA the hed could read "CEOs union asks for higher salaries."
This being the NEA the hed could read "CEOs union asks for higher salaries."
Where would [C]RAP fans get money for concert tickets after the dope and the bling and the guns?
See? I can use stupid slang too.
See? I can use stupid slang too.
While the hacks play their cheap partisan game of cards using a marked deck, Justice O'Connor is retiring because her husband has Alzheimer's and does a truly honorable thing.
Meanwhile, in other news about -- Live 10? Live 20? Something about pollution? Birds? Whatever it was -- another man named Bob is said to be finished "destroy[ing] the homes and livelihoods of hundreds of thousands of Zimbabweans."
Bob -- Barker? Hope? Goldman? Golddorf? ALREADY YOU'VE IMPACTED (as you might say) HISSSSSSSSSSSSTORRRRRRRRRRRRRY!!!!!
Bob -- Barker? Hope? Goldman? Golddorf? ALREADY YOU'VE IMPACTED (as you might say) HISSSSSSSSSSSSTORRRRRRRRRRRRRY!!!!!
SAP: A Sea Change In Software
The German legend's move into Lego-like modules could revolutionize the way companies do business
Can you see BUGMEISTER BILL doing LEGO?
The German legend's move into Lego-like modules could revolutionize the way companies do business
Can you see BUGMEISTER BILL doing LEGO?
Gov. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHH's speechwriter SPEAKS:
KARL ROVE: WORSE THAN OSAMA BIN LADEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How about:
TED RALL: WORSE THAN AIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Two can play that game, lunkhead.
KARL ROVE: WORSE THAN OSAMA BIN LADEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How about:
TED RALL: WORSE THAN AIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Two can play that game, lunkhead.
DO YOU LIKE ROSBIF, MONSIEUR PRESIDAHNT?
First he quipped that Britain's only contribution to European agriculture had been mad cow disease. Then he added: "You cannot trust people who have such bad cuisine. After Finland, It is the country with the worst cooking."
And I thought OUR food was bad.
P. S. Whichever country gets the GE Bancorp "Sports" Festival can KEEP it.
First he quipped that Britain's only contribution to European agriculture had been mad cow disease. Then he added: "You cannot trust people who have such bad cuisine. After Finland, It is the country with the worst cooking."
And I thought OUR food was bad.
P. S. Whichever country gets the GE Bancorp "Sports" Festival can KEEP it.
And speaking of the AMERICAN SOCIETY OF WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS:
MCDONALD'S PLANS TO REINVENT EMPLOYEE UNIFORMS
In Design Talks With P. Diddy, Russell Simmons and Tommy Hilfiger
Another excuse for them to ignore the slop on the trays and the slop on the floors.
MCDONALD'S PLANS TO REINVENT EMPLOYEE UNIFORMS
In Design Talks With P. Diddy, Russell Simmons and Tommy Hilfiger
Another excuse for them to ignore the slop on the trays and the slop on the floors.
The you-had-to-be-there crowd is having a reunion. This is already a sell-out, it will get raves, and like KERNGERSHWIN HAMMERSTEIN's masterpiece, it will vanish without a trace.
How many times do you suppose NATE will call in sick?
How many times do you suppose NATE will call in sick?
I am sorry to hear Hank Stram has died. He was a good coach, a good broadcaster, and a good man.
ANOTHER IMMORTAL:
Wasserman's last years were not happy. He sold MCA to Japanese electronics firm Matsushita in 1990 for $6.1 billion, ending up with $327 million for his stock. But he never got along with his new bosses, and they never bothered to tell him when they unloaded a controlling stake to Canadian drinks firm Seagram Co. a few years later.
He was given the meaningless title of chairman emeritus, and reduced to dining alone at the Universal commissary. He died in 2002, aged 89. In the film, Avrich claims some people turned up to his memorial service to make sure he was dead.
Don't you feel sorry for IMMORTALS?
Wasserman's last years were not happy. He sold MCA to Japanese electronics firm Matsushita in 1990 for $6.1 billion, ending up with $327 million for his stock. But he never got along with his new bosses, and they never bothered to tell him when they unloaded a controlling stake to Canadian drinks firm Seagram Co. a few years later.
He was given the meaningless title of chairman emeritus, and reduced to dining alone at the Universal commissary. He died in 2002, aged 89. In the film, Avrich claims some people turned up to his memorial service to make sure he was dead.
Don't you feel sorry for IMMORTALS?
"I do think the press has gone way overboard," says financial commentator James Glassman. "They're scaring people."
YOU'RE MAD BECAUSE YOU WROTE A BOOK CALLED DOW 36,000.
YOU'RE MAD BECAUSE YOU WROTE A BOOK CALLED DOW 36,000.
IMMORTALS ain't what they used to be:
As of late last week, a month after "Camp's" release, the $22.95 book had sold just 5,431 copies, according to Nielsen BookScan, which tracks 4,500 retail and Internet booksellers, including Borders, Barnes & Noble, Costco, Target, Kmart and Amazon.com. Early sales have taken a relatively small bite out of Warner Books' first printing of 101,000 copies.
"Right now, it's not on a bestseller trajectory," said John Kremer, editor of the Book Marketing Update newsletter. "It should be selling more than that, given all the promotion they're doing."
MICKEYMOUSE NIXON has ENOUGH money.
"It's definitely a hit in Vermont."
Maybe Sen. PROFILE in COURAGE has something to do with it?
As of late last week, a month after "Camp's" release, the $22.95 book had sold just 5,431 copies, according to Nielsen BookScan, which tracks 4,500 retail and Internet booksellers, including Borders, Barnes & Noble, Costco, Target, Kmart and Amazon.com. Early sales have taken a relatively small bite out of Warner Books' first printing of 101,000 copies.
"Right now, it's not on a bestseller trajectory," said John Kremer, editor of the Book Marketing Update newsletter. "It should be selling more than that, given all the promotion they're doing."
MICKEYMOUSE NIXON has ENOUGH money.
"It's definitely a hit in Vermont."
Maybe Sen. PROFILE in COURAGE has something to do with it?
I hope I get my @#$%&* MONITOR this week!
Uganda, a poor landlocked nation in East Africa, carried about $172 million in international debt when brutal dictator Idi Amin took power in 1971. By the mid-1990s, following the shocks of mass killings, invasion, rebellion and finally a costly effort to rebuild a shattered economy, the country owed lenders $3.6 billion.
NOW I remember! It was AUSTRALIA. And KANGAROOS!
NOW I remember! It was AUSTRALIA. And KANGAROOS!
What happened on Saturday? Oh, "potential history." That's how an idiot at the InkyDinkyDooDoo put it.
Now what DID happen Saturday? I don't remember. Wasn't it something about Antarctica and whales?
Now what DID happen Saturday? I don't remember. Wasn't it something about Antarctica and whales?