Posted 10:08 PM by Gene

This week in Zeitgeist, Norm Thomas's Grandson wants a new Truman. We all want a new Truman. Unfortunately Rude, Hayl -- er, Hillary, Mormon Mitt, the Comb, Boobs and Abe would have to get out of the kitchen first. And when the new Truman had a Mac would Norm's Grandson harp on his low opinion-poll ratings?

And in the international editions, "Slow is Beautiful." Certainly a bunch of highly-paid scribblers who spent half their lives around Mr. D.T.s of the Radio would qualify -- not for the beautiful part, I might add.

And that's another international double-issue. Slow indeed.

Posted 6:17 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: Either SLIME did it (not likely) or someone in Dow Jones did it -- but as the Wall Street Journals Con-SER-va-tive Edition would no doubt say, insider trading is NOT a crime. Right Larry "Gekko" Kudlow?

Posted 1:30 PM by Gene

Terrorism "is not a movement, it's a tactic. But terrorism is a tactic that can be used in a war," Mr. Chertoff said.

But terrorism is not a war, which seems very much a tactic too.

Posted 1:07 PM by Gene

DIMWITS: THE GREATEST COMEDY OF ALL TIME was a con-SER-va-tive movie -- and now someone at NRO is saying "it’s much better to laugh at a comic when he is making fun of self-important celebrities than when he mocks ordinary people just trying to be nice to someone who is mocking them."

Why didn't these knee-jerk scribblers like POD think this when they were busy plugging the movie for cheap political reasons -- or do they pledge allegiance to SLIME more than to their own country?

Posted 11:48 AM by Gene

The Feds lose records on 100,000 security employees -- and Sheila "We Landed Men on Mars" Jackson-Lee is on the case!

Those records can stay lost.

Posted 11:39 AM by Gene

Here is where press agents and news hacks (six of one) do their duty: by emitting nonsense like "ALL-TIME RECORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" we automatically stop people from thinking, and a company that's employed fake movie critics and rootkits is about nothing so much as control. Thus I have come to the notion that certain things should be minimally reported, because we get spin or PR otherwise -- and at the top of the list are box-office "grosses."

Let's see: all those midnight openings, and more theaters, and less competition, and inflation, and -- how many ways is this ALL-TIME RECORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dishonest?

But heck if The Paper of Re-CORD can run unindependent independent "experts" we can run "grosses."

P. S. Movies two through ten did an alleged grand total of $8.76 million in business. Whoopee.

Posted 11:18 AM by Gene

Little Malcolm has hit the jackpot! (That or he got all his Fabergé eggs back.) We run a press release on Mug Whitman and her "ethics", which was probably in the can when a certain target-practicer was buying his ammo. We unearth "Up"-Chuck Barris from the dead for the sole reason of tormenting our readers. We run a something by Peter Huber home-page-hedded, "What sort of people are very worried about global warming but not very worried about terrorism?", which if we reversed the order would prove you can never have too many partisans. We do an article on boom-car competitions, which gives us an idea for Little Malcolm's ears. Surely there's something in the latest issue worth reading -- there always is...isn't there? -- but Little Malcolm has always said the Web would replace print, and for once we wish it would prove him right.

Posted 10:16 AM by Gene

Another glowing-with-pride day for The Paper of Re-CORD:

'NYT' Hit By NBA Chief on 'Bias' Story -- Then Admits Expert Not 'Independent'

Where's that editors' note, Paper of Re-CORD? Oh, HERE it is.

Posted 10:03 AM by Gene

Now, after years of nominally bad PR acquiring a rep as the ST. WARREN!!!!! of retailing, St. Edward is concentrating on His -- STORES?!?!?

Posted 9:59 AM by Gene

Why do I have this awful feeling the hacks are sharpening their laptops trying to engineer you-know-who's COMEBACK so they can act as twenty-four-hour shills again?

Posted 9:47 AM by Gene

Maybe Democratic Senators are "signing" letters because they wouldn't be doing anything otherwise.

But then what did Jefferson or somebody say? Government governs best that governs least? Wait till you Republicans get back in! Pffffffffffffft!

Posted 9:45 AM by Gene

Looks like SELIGISM will be celebrating Barry Bonds's* record* with George Mitchell!

Posted 9:42 AM by Gene

When Frank Lautenberg, Sherrod Brown, Tom Harkin, Ted Kennedy and Dick Durbin "sign" a letter demanding the heirs of Joe Camel stop selling cigarettes to kids, you know it's a BAD day for Republicans and free en-ter-prise.

Posted 9:35 AM by Gene

Did you know FedEx made Kinko's into "a distribution network for packages"? The people at Kinko's didn't know. Nor did the people at FedEx.

Posted 9:31 AM by Gene

In the midst of enlarging His empire SLIME is creating a sequel for the con-SER-va-tives' favorite businessman Gordon Gekko, meaning He's out to court favors or His functionaries have run out of ideas.

Posted 5:33 PM by Gene

The only way the world know how much it will cost to prevent negative climate change is after it's wasted the money and disrupted the billions.

Posted 5:31 PM by Gene

Paris arrives late for probation hearing

The Queen wasn't the only royalty in America today.

Posted 5:16 PM by Gene

Here is the New Rendellism: turning cities into bedroom communities -- meaning the living room is elsewhere, and urban canyons echo with snores.

Posted 5:01 PM by Gene

We deceive ourselves to believe anyone can keep athletes from thinking they live forever. But dammit, how do so many people manage to make forever so short?

Posted 4:55 PM by Gene

Some pieces of -- legislation are the equivalent of a big broad cynical mischievous smirk. When the GOPs pass the Zillions in Pork Spending and No Taxes on Business and the Wealthy Total Giveaway Act we can see it. When the Dems pass the Let's Stick It to Christians and Conservatives and Make Opposition to Gays a Hate Crime Act we can see it. Why are our politics the equivalent of two all-muscle no-brained 600-pound heavyweights in a boxing ring, with innocent voters doing the duty of a jock strap -- and every hit a low blow?

Posted 3:43 PM by Gene

SPIDEY more important than transit security, SPIDEY more important than Al-Qaida, SPIDEY more important than that hate-crimes bill -- no, I do NOT think we will get back our readers THIS way.

(Via the usual Romy)

(Image restored 9/4/2010 from here)

Posted 2:34 PM by Gene

ST. JACK of VALENTI dies, the QUEEN's coming to dinner -- can the Beltway handle so much BROWN-NOSING EXCITEMENT?



Veep Big-oil and the Royal Family would be the perfect match.

Posted 2:30 PM by Gene

An earth-rending demand from the ASSPress:

Jessica Biel Wants Respect As an Actress

"Thank goodness I'm a nice person."

And thank goodness so are the persons at ASSPress!

Posted 8:46 AM by Gene

"Frank" Foer may be smart, Marty, but we wonder if he's that smart:

ThereÂ’s [SIC!] no denying the Journal would fit snugly into his empire. They share the same politics. So much so that at the height of last yearÂ’s [SIC!] election, Karen House big-footed editors in Washington and published a note retracting an articleÂ’s [SIC!] description of Fox News Channel as "a network sympathetic to the Bush cause and popular with Republicans." (One reporter from the Washington bureau told me her boss, Gerry Seib, "didnÂ’t [SIC!] know about the correction until it was a done deal.") More important, the Journal also jibes with MurdochÂ’s [SIC!] wish to launch a Fox business channel.

Okay, maybe Big Foot retracted it, but it still ran in the first place, meaning the Liberal Edition agreed with it -- and Gerry, a very knee-jerk-CW editor, probably didn't know as such a description is mere background noise among the CW. Besides, doesn't it make sense to court favors with a maybe future publisher? The Journals have courted favors for years. (And of course that observation is as biased as it is true.) This proves nothing, Marty. The Journals are two papers, and despite His KNEE-JERK NEO-NAZI ULTRA-RIGHT blahblah SLIME will NOT tamper with the good thing of seeing soothing bromides describing Him as the God who left one of the great news-gathering organizations ALONE.

Oh by the way Marty, tell Frank to get a couple of dozen new interns.

Posted 8:38 AM by Gene

ANOTHER MEMORIAL TRIBUTE TO JACK: For years the ad-blurbists have had orgasms over each new "dark" movie and TV show. We suspect Effete Edelstein was in the lead. Now someone from Stale.com complains the new Spidey promo is TOO DARK!

I HATE NEWS HACKS!

Posted 8:11 AM by Gene

Keeping in mind this is an official paper of the Republican Party, each party has its own ways to waste money. Republicans would throw money at oil companies; Democrats would throw it at environmentalists. Maybe this is an ultra-liberal age, but people will soon enough see as they did in 2006 that both sides have a monopoly on the most selfish tone-deaf stupidity.

Posted 6:56 AM by Gene

Bugmeister wants YAHOO!?!?!?

Anything to reduce His net worth, we say.

Who needs the JOURNALS?

Posted 5:18 PM by Gene

We haven't spoken of Wally Schirra because there really isn't much to say. Astronauts are brave and dedicated folk, and the first ones especially had more than a tad of "Hi mom!" in them, which accounts for all the covers in Life, and for the failure of the Shuttle. But it took exceptional men to beat the Russians to the moon, and Wally Schirra was one of them.

Posted 5:16 PM by Gene

More urgent need-to-know news from the ASSPress:

Miss July Wins 2007 Playmate of the Year

The next time Curley (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) mentions his -- political prisoner, which he hasn't lately, someone should mention press releases like this.

Or should we call it the T-and-ASSPress? (TASSPress goes without saying.)

Posted 1:12 PM by Gene

Some Cuban soldiers may have tried to hijack a plane out of the country, and there has allegedly been a shootout at Havana's airport, but who knows.

We cannot imagine Fidel's soldiers being dissatisfied, but again, who knows.

"Three armed recruits." We should have known better.

Posted 12:47 PM by Gene

The Paper of Re-CORD names its third public edi-TOR:

Keller noted, "As a reporter, he shared a Pulitzer, and as an editor he earned a reputation as a reporter's editor. Until the sale of Knight Ridder last year, he was, for seven years, the Knight Ridder Washington Editor." He added: "In that role he presided over a body of aggressive reporting in the runup to the war in Iraq -- journalism that has been widely praised for sometimes being more skeptical about the pre-war intelligence than bigger news organizations, including our own."

I guess that means he'll be pliable too.

Forgive us our attitude, but his predecessor gives us reason enough.

Posted 9:41 AM by Gene

Rupert Murdoch's hands-on style -- changing headlines, calling in news tips, and checking layouts....

Still got those COFFEE nerves, Romy?

Posted 9:32 AM by Gene

Justice:

U.S. says terrorist in Jill Carroll kidnapping killed

Injustice:

U.S.: Carroll kidnap MILITANT dead [PC INTERNATIONAL overemphasis added]

PEOPLE WARNER puts its foot in its mouth again!

Posted 9:21 AM by Gene

ER takes 90 of his favorite show-biz types, adds ten CW-popular politicians, and calls them "influential."

I believe the time has come for PEOPLE NEWSRAG to FOLD.

Posted 8:31 AM by Gene

While the generic Democratic candidate wins by 13 points in the USA TODAY poll, Hillary Rodham Clinton loses to Rudy Giuliani by 5 points, 46%-51%, in a hypothetical head-to-head between the two front-runners.

What the hell do public-opinion polls mean?

Posted 4:59 PM by Gene

Sorry to link to a Romy link again, but the guy needs his meds. Some CJR typist insists SLIME will bring about "the end of Dow Jones". "And make no mistake: Tuesday was a black day for journalism, and an even blacker one for financial journalism." Why? We hate to go into the obvious, but we think we know why: SLIME will FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!IFY the Journals, He'll fire the entire Liberal Edition staff and replace it with Brits and Neils, and NO-SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN COUGHLIN for good measure, and He'll have everybody going knee-jerk lock step SIEG-HEIL! neo-Nazi far-right CONSERVATIVE, AND...

This is the sort of BS hacks spew when the world's not going their way. SLIME, whatever His faults, is not about to tamper with a successful -- FRANCHISE (he helped invent the word), and face it, for their many flaws, the Journals are successful because they're two newspapers, both pandering to their respective audiences. Why spoil a good thing like that?

"When this is over," this simp mourns, "there will be no independent publisher of the nation’s foremost—really only—watchdog of the capital markets, corporate behavior, and regulators’ conduct. Who’s going to cover News Corp.?" Setting aside the question, "Who covers News Corp. now?" (an exceptionally gifted recipient of the fruits of news-hack social climbing, with the Journals no doubting having perpetrated at least their share), if watchdogging means P-Ulitzer winners looking for suicides at supermarket chains, that's an ultimately toothless watchdog. Lest we forget the Journals were the home of the notorious show-biz press agent Laura Landro, who invented the term suck-up; and some "Heard on the Street" columnist who investigated his way to prison for profitably using his connections. Remember when the Journals got in trouble for running press releases virtually unedited? And where has this mutt been through all the weeping and moaning of the Journals slashing their staffs and cutting their newshole and trimming the pages? And does anyone really expect business news outlets to go after people -- except when they have PR men and books to sell? Perhaps the problem is SLIME's big bonanza underlines that the Journals, in many ways, are unnecessary, with so many news outlets running numbers and charts and business press releases; and Dow Jones proved its necessity further with its boneheaded purchase of Marketwatch.com. But how can a CJR typist talk of necessity when CJR has become ever less necessary itself?

Posted 2:57 PM by Gene

More HOT NEWS from the Zeitgeist:

Hot new career trend: The video resume [SIC]

Hot new tear-out-the-hair trend: executives' mailboxes bursting with big, bloated video résumés -- which they will promptly treat as SPAM.

Posted 2:55 PM by Gene

One down and -- huh, Madame PRESIDENT?

Posted 12:30 PM by Gene

ADAM HAS A HOT HIP RAG!!!!!!!!!!

Who reads it?

And the NEW POWER IN TELEVISION NEWS says:

"I guess if brown is the new black, ADAM MOSS IS THE NEW DAVID REMNICK!!!!!" [Genius overemphasis added]

Or maybe the future Mark Whitaker!!!!! Pfffffffffffffffft!

Posted 12:26 PM by Gene

Our favorite Branson East columnist Mike alleges Marvel's Spider-Man musical will cost at least $30 million -- but we should keep in mind that though it's expensive for a musical, it's cheap for a THEME PARK.

Posted 12:09 PM by Gene

All right, so you're tantrum throwing liberals, and you don't like the NO-SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN ZONE, so you do a "study" proving you don't like him, which is like applying a shovel underneath your feet because every time a PARTISAN attacks a PARTISAN he merely proves BOTH SIDES are PARTISAN.

And we can't stand the NO-SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN ZONE EITHER.

And you compare NO-SPIN to "Father" Coughlin, hoping nobody remembers who he was. Well, you're PARTISANS, and turnabout's unfair play -- so we'll just liken his equal and opposite nuisance KEITH O to STALIN. All's fair in hate and war!

If your skool wants to throw yelling screaming whiny crybaby tantrums BRING BACK BOBBY KNIGHT!

Thanks again, ROMY!

Posted 10:47 AM by Gene

OH oh, SUMNER may have to pay for firing Booze Brains!

Serves him right -- for hiring him and firing him!

Posted 10:07 AM by Gene

I wish I knew how to blog -- or to write -- and I wish I could think that I am occasionally correct. Here TNR disgorges 7,725 WORDS on what I called the left-wing's mirror image of Free Republic, and now thousands and thousands are writing thousands of words about how brilliant Jonathan's writing is. Several of the comments, however, make me hope that, if I was too flippant in the first place, I was still right -- that left-wing blogging is just a mirror image of Free Republic, and that when it comes to blogging it's too easy to step on the GAS.

Posted 9:17 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: The Eternal Comber wants us to be strong without being strong.

But the truth is that the war on terror is destined to outlast a change in the Oval Office — or in vocabulary.

A TWXSTER can admit to that?

Posted 9:00 AM by Gene

The publication of Ronald Reagan's White House diaries makes us wish for a president who'd get angry on occasion, justifiably angry, non-pompous-ass-showing-off-to-the-public angry, who could tell Congressmen and cabinet members and Valentis to which nether region they could go. How honest Reagan is only God knows, but we'd venture far more honest than, say Dubya -- if he could write.

Posted 8:43 AM by Gene

Barry Diller, Michael Eisner, Sherry Lansing, Robert Wagner, Sam Donaldson, Ted Koppel, Mike Wallace, Chris Wallace, Bob Schieffer, Al Hunt, Ben Bradlee, Sally Quinn, Tim Russert, Judy Woodruff, Arlen Specter, John Warner, RUMMY, Henry Hyde, BILLY TAUZIN, GEORGE TENET....

This is PRECISELY why The Paper of Re-CORD's harrumphing, gallumphing GESTURE to swear off these big fat DINNERS goes beyond fake, it is borderline obscene. These bastards have absolutely NO intention of giving up their perks -- it's part of what makes them so inordinately BETTER than their mere readers.

Our only solace is that so many of the invited were has-beens, and will soon be joining The Second Coming of Christ in the Great Backscratching in the Sky.

And surprisingly it was closed to the public -- or not surprisingly, given so much of Second Coming's life was nobody's business.

[Cute Little Pink Paper link via the usual Romy]

Posted 6:52 AM by Gene

Having cried over their comrades the movie ad-blurbists, the hacks turn their handkerchiefs to the folks who write the squibs for the back covers. While we feel slightly different for such people -- after all, movies these days aren't merely sub-literate, they're anti-literate -- the difference is microscopic indeed; much of what book reviewers do isn't reviewing, it's logrolling, and when they aren't logrolling they're largely synopsizing, and they do both with a willowy wispiness that avoids judgment. When was the last time you read a memorable book review? Perhaps the problem is so few memorable books; but surely there's a way of eviscerating even the slightest piece of hack work, and most book reviewers aren't the slightest writers.

Posted 6:57 PM by Gene

Well! Remember Mr. Mark? The man who won 17,000 JERNALISM prizes (including half a dozen for the KORAN story) at Zeitgeist? The man who so well defined CW he WAS CW? Anyway, he's now a high-mucky-muck news boss at Goodthings Entertainment, and he'll really get to tell us what to think!

When do they give him his own show?

Posted 6:33 PM by Gene

...then the celebrating staff of the Wall Street Journals Liberal Edition realized -- it was RUPERT.

P. S.

What Murdoch Really Wants [Home-page hed]

Someone must ask such a question?

P. P. S.

It would be difficult for the New York Times Co. or Washington Post Co., which both trade at about 10 times EV-EBITDA, to match Mr. Murdoch's bid without damaging their balance sheets or watering down their shareholders' stakes.

GO FOR IT!

Posted 6:23 PM by Gene

One down and (fill in the blank) to go.

Posted 5:38 PM by Gene

Roseanne Barr? Is she still around?

Yep, PEOPLE WARNER is a publicist's best friend.

Posted 5:16 PM by Gene

Speaking of delusion, they've got it at NRO -- in SPADES:

For goodness’s sake, cheer up. Rupert Murdoch’s bid for Dow Jones represents UNQUALIFIED GOOD NEWS!!

...If Murdoch’s bid succeeds, his ownership would be good for the editorial pages of the Wall Street Journal, which Larry Kudlow rightly calls “THE GREATEST CONSERVATIVE PLATFORM IN THE WORLD!!!!!”

In recent years, the Journal has suffered declining circulation and unimpressive advertising revenues....Murdoch would infuse the newspaper with capital—and make it newly competitive.... [Kudlovian overemphasis and link added]

Meantime HARRY REID, KOS, ROSIE O'DONNELL and KEITH O WILL DITCH THE DEAL!!!!!!!!!!

Could this sort of daydreaming be one reason con-SER-va-tives are talking more than usual to themselves of being in trouble?

Posted 5:11 PM by Gene

As the world knows Honorary Mayor Mike is trying to limit car traffic in Manhattan. Surely it's no problem for Honorary; if he wants to get anywhere he can hop in his helicopter.

Posted 5:04 PM by Gene

Alas, another TV soldier has died: Tom Poston, longtime second-banana of sitcoms and panelist (like the late lamented Kitty Carlisle Hart) of To Tell the Truth. On this score the news never gets better.

Posted 5:00 PM by Gene

So it probably won't be SLIME. Who will it be? St. Warren and the Journals' mutual denial of reality would seem the right fit.

Posted 4:59 PM by Gene

While it is true than Gov. Corzine had only himself to blame for not wearing a seat belt, this fine, especially after all the lecturing he did, strikes us as a cheap stunt in more ways than one.

Posted 4:56 PM by Gene

Kirk Douglas, Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones, Steny Hoyer, Dianne Feinstein, John Kerry, Daniel Inouye, GOD, St. Warren of Buffett, CLINT....

Now please, hacks, let us NOT hear of the Second Coming of Christ AGAIN.

P. S. Despite His ascending to Heaven with the promise of His return, His Bible ranks 17,365 on Amazon.com, which means somebody has a lot more preachin' to do.

Posted 1:45 PM by Gene

The offer is a very positive event, said Thomas Forsha, portfolio manager at River Road Asset Management in Louisville, Ky. "Honestly the price is very compelling," he said. "We think the combination of Fox and the Wall Street Journal properties would be a compelling long-term proposition."

Then again, Mr. Forsha noted, River Road sold all 563,405 of its shares in Dow Jones today after the announcement sent the stock price soaring.

NO COMMENT.

"The newsroom is going wild," one WSJ insider said. [Emphasis added]

They know -- SLIME is NO CONSERVATIVE.

Posted 12:47 PM by Gene

Financial joke of the day: SLIME's made an offer for Dow Jones.

Now's His chance to establish His bona fides as a conservative AND a liberal!

If You're going to buy it, SLIME, could You at least make the Journals Online free?

P. S. SLIME HAD to send other news stocks up, but that won't last.

P. P. S. Hey SLIME! Here's great new talent for Your business-news channel!

Posted 12:33 PM by Gene

A last memorial tribute to the man whose death caused the Beltway to have a nervous breakdown:

My family and I have been fortunate to benefit from the world's appetite for American entertainment, as my husband's television shows air countless times around the world every day, every hour. Among our country's largest exports are film, television, music and other entertainment.

Maybe it's time for our creative and marketing minds to get involved in capturing hearts and minds, and not just pocketbooks. The political marketers keep selling us more stories about wars, vetoes, attorney generals and enemies. We saw the failed partisan efforts to "market" our country early in the war. It's time for a new campaign.

Yeah, [C]RAP, horror movies, the whole nine yards. Excellent idea. Candy, please go back to calculating your earnings on Charlie's Angels.

(Via MediaBistro)

Posted 11:29 AM by Gene

California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger...director Steven Spielberg, News Corp. honcho Peter Chernin, Disney boss Robert Iger...producer Steven Bochco and nearly a quorum call of lawmakers including House Speaker Rep. Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif.; Sens. Ted Stevens, R-Alaska, Joe Biden, D-Del., and Patrick Leahy, D-Vt.; and Rep. John Dingell, D-Mich., chairman of the House Commerce Committee....

The usual gang of idiots.

Posted 11:27 AM by Gene

It is now official: the Miss America sting operation was a joke.

(Via CNN International)

P. S. at 5:43 p.m. She changed her mind. Does another outlet of PEOPLE WARNER know?

NOPE. (Not yet anyway.)

Posted 11:21 AM by Gene

“You can’t win on this one.”

You can't lose either!

Posted 11:00 AM by Gene

Macabre Joke of the Day:

R. Kelly Writes Song for Virginia Tech

"Rise up, when you feel you can't go on, rise up, and all of your hope is gone, rise up, when you're weak and you can't be strong, etc., etc., etc."

We were going to make fun of his song from Space Bunny or whatever the name of that movie that starred Michael Jordan but this is good enough.

By the way, whatever happened to that statutory-rape case?

Posted 9:15 AM by Gene

Not to be picky, but how often has "a huge blow" been struck before?

Posted 9:05 AM by Gene

Jonathan of TNR needs 7,725 WORDS!!!!! to tell us the left has its own whiny crybaby version of Free Republic.

I am IMPRESSED.

Posted 8:46 AM by Gene

The skool that gave us Stanley Fish, St. K and the obviously GUILTY lacrosse players now has a cheating problem in its MBA program.

Some institutions do get what they deserve.

Posted 8:23 AM by Gene

Speaking of The Tonight Show, the insufferable Ms. Travers writes:

A reader, pointing out Thompson will be on Leno Thursday....

Oh, no, is that blowhard going to announce before that unfunny jut-jawed whatisit too?

P. S. at 11:13 a.m. WALTER WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or somebody called Petericia and said no.

Posted 8:15 AM by Gene

The other day we called The Tonight Show irrelevant. We know why: When Jack Paar emceed it at least there was a chance for serious conversation with people like authors and politicans (JFK and Dick Nixon were among his most famous guests). And while the show has always been about plugging projects it was apt to be more profitable for the audience when the project plugger was Bette Davis. Now it's all rock nothings and one-film wonders who can't rub two syllables together. No, I'd say talk on TV has been dead for some time.

Posted 8:11 AM by Gene

Shucks, Ollie and Mike are disappointed:

No Castro Appearance at May Day Parade

Better health next time!

Posted 7:37 PM by Gene

Romney Denounces McCain-Feingold Law

Somebody's running for president!

Posted 7:30 PM by Gene

Meantime Sony has been IMUSSED (or rather brought on its own Imus) over a promo for a video game. The more people drum up these well-paying outrages the harder it is to be outraged -- and when Osamas and psychotic students step into the breach we'll have been so maxed-out on outrage we can only respond with a shrug.

(Via InformationWeek, though we'd vaguely heard of it before -- and didn't care, and might even have gotten mad, figuring another Sharpton was raising money)

Posted 7:26 PM by Gene

There's evidently a big debate among pundits and other such onanists over The Paper of Re-CORD's decision to drop out of those stupid annual fanny-kissing Washington wingdings. We could view it whole-heartedly as a plus except taking these millionaire buzzards away from a night of toadying will not take the toadying out of the millionaire buzzards. Indeed if the seven-digit Beltway news hack ever forgot how to suck up he'd lose the will to live.

Posted 6:46 PM by Gene

Jonathan Alter tells -- THE TRUTH:

Henry Waxman looks like your accountant, but he acts more like a dog with a bone—the hard bone of truth.

Alter has also been a contributing correspondent for NBC News, where he appears regularly on all NBC broadcasts including "TODAY," "NBC Nightly News," NBC News specials, MSNBC and CNBC. He can be heard frequently on the radio, including "IMUS IN THE MORNING".... [Truthful emphasis added]

Hey Jonny! Is that bone of Hank's as hard as the gold coin between your teeth?

Posted 6:43 PM by Gene

A curious ASSPress juxtaposition:

Circuit City Expects Loss on Slow Sales

Circuit City CEO Got $17.1M Last Year

Posted 2:32 PM by Gene

We are sorry to hear that "Mr. Excitement", Tommy Newsom, has died.

"I realize things have to end sometime," Newsom said at the time. "I felt regrets at it ending and there was a sense of relief in a way."

But why can't they go on forever?

Posted 11:14 AM by Gene

"I'm going to have a Christie's auction," she tells Spinner. "[My house] is like a mausoleum. My daughter [14-year-old Frances Bean] doesn't need to inherit a giant hefty bag full of flannel f***ing shirts ... A sweater, a guitar and the lyrics to 'Teen Spirit' -- that's what my daughter gets. And the rest of it we'll just f***ing sell." [SIC]

Sounds more like eBay to me -- and perhaps a little beneath.

(Via ASSPress)

Posted 11:09 AM by Gene

Valenti Funeral Set For May 1

1. We intend to mark who will be there. 2. Will there be live TV? (Here's betting YES.)

Posted 9:37 AM by Gene

The Dalai Lamas of Mountain View play do-no-evil evil tricks with innocent people. Who knew?

I think they've shut off my Next Blog button again.

Posted 8:49 AM by Gene

How many big crime busts are publicity stunts? How many of the publicity stunts fizzle because they were designed for the publicity?

Posted 8:47 AM by Gene

Meantime the Turks aren't too happy that someone with "an Islamist past" may accede to their presidency, which suggests a lot of people still want an Islamist future.

Posted 8:44 AM by Gene

The former CIA boss Mr. Tenet says the holy cockroaches could have may have might have smuggled a nuke into America. He's says that in a book he's selling.

We have heard so many reliable allegations we don't know when to trust them. We should know better both ways.

Posted 6:34 PM by Gene

It appears from Alexa that (unfortunately) the traffic decline for the SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS is leveling off. Are people getting -- CONCERNED over the presidential election -- or merely bored by MySpace?

Posted 12:19 PM by Gene

The bad news: Paul Dreck and company will honor THE IMMORTAL JACK's memory next week with tons of BS about SPIDEY'S NEW BOX OFFICE RECORDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The good news: People won't pay to see anything else.

Posted 10:22 AM by Gene

Learning how to write at America's greatest newspapers:

Then there is Hagedorn's prose. In her acknowledgments she makes particular mention of the Wall Street Journal, "where I learned how to write well," a quite astonishing boast in and of itself but all the more so when one considers the more than 500 pages of evidence to the contrary. Hagedorn has never met a cliché she didn't like: "To many it meant that Bolshevists had struck the Pacific Northwest like lightning bolts, soon to cause the nation to burst into the flames of revolution," or "It was there that the rolling wave of hope from the Western Front met the rising tide of fear and intolerance back home," or "But that message had no lasting significance and fell like the leaves of autumn into a rushing river."

Hagedorn, her publisher tells us, "has taught writing at Northwestern University's Medill School of Journalism and at Columbia University's Graduate School of Journalism." If that makes you wonder about the standards of literacy at the country's "best" schools of journalism, well, you are not alone. ? [SIC]

Who put that question mark in there? Paul "UNFORGETTABLE" Farhi?

Posted 8:58 AM by Gene

Add $2 billion to the UK's Olympic "black hole"!

Ka-CHINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!

Posted 8:38 AM by Gene

Oh. "God and War." (Mere God when we could have had SPIDEY.) Or how I suppose God hates this war and wants us to be outoutOUT!!!!!

Okay, we all hate this war. But for the umpteenth time, how would you like a Taliban banner on our soil?