Eugene David ...The One-Minute Pundit |
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED: I know more than you. I make lots more money than you. I'm smarter than you. I'm sexier than you. I appear on TV all the time. I work ten minutes a day. I rule the universe. I'm going to live forever. You are an idiot. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2: A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3: I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity. --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4: News isn't news when we don't report it. PERMALINKS: THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE! Blogroll Me! |
Saturday, November 06, 2010
Posted
11:42 PM
by Gene
Posted
7:36 PM
by Gene
![]() As you can guess we're feeling a little anonymous after that one.
Posted
7:32 PM
by Gene
![]() We hope it looks like HELL on ESPN, the ultimate target. Nothing against the Ducks, mind you, he typed in quickly.
Posted
6:21 PM
by Gene
![]() Terry Teachout has been gloating about the new AH-pe-RA he and Mr. Moravec are concocting, for a Philadelphia AH-pe-RA company: "a backstage comedy--we call it a vaudeville--about the making of Igor Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring." You may not have wanted to call it a vaudeville, Terry -- but regardless this sounds like an upcoming movee we gritted our teeth over called My Week with Marilyn. That one features impersonations of MM and Larry Olivier; this one features impersonations of "Stravinsky, Sergei Diaghilev, Vaslav Nijinsky, and Pierre Monteux". Even granting it's easier to impersonate Pierre Monteux than MM or Larry as no one's likely to know who the hell he was this is still an impersonation -- and in some ways Terry 'n' Paul's is worse because they're tracking the well-worn rut of one of the most famous works of the concert hall and the ballet, making this a virtual equivalent of an MM or Larry impersonation. And pray tell what kind of ear-wax-cleaning sounds has Paul devised here? More wax is more likely. Our culture stinks when it must rely heavily on impersonations as a substitute for inspiration; judging from the raves accorded T 'n' P's first masterpiece their work will be lucky to last the length of the four fastest bars in, say, Petrushka. But as the above photo categorically demonstrates that does NOT make an MM impersonation any better. P. S. As I was saying....
Posted
6:20 PM
by Gene
Educational facilities, hospitals and other health-related institutions are driving the bulk of the current nonresidential construction work, in a reflection of the area’s main economic drivers. RENDELLISM TRIUMPHANT! Friday, November 05, 2010
Posted
3:06 PM
by Gene
We cannot improve on some of the lines in here, and this one is most delicious: "'It should tell you something when Stephen Colbert is making fun of your movie on TV, saying, 'Pete Berg, consider this my audition: A … 4!'" Scrumptious indeed: a parody ridiculing a parody.
Posted
2:07 PM
by Gene
Pelosi says she'll run for House Democratic leader GO BABS! Make yourself a campaign issue FOREVER!
Posted
2:03 PM
by Gene
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What will the forces of right do?!?!?
Posted
10:19 AM
by Gene
Posted
10:12 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:09 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:00 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:56 AM
by Gene
Here's betting CONCAST and/or GE BANCORP gives him the equivalent of a House ethics probe for his ethical lapses. (Via the usual Romy)
Posted
8:38 AM
by Gene
Retail trade employment rose by 28,000 in October, including increases in automobile dealers (+6,000) and in electronics and appliance stores (+5,000). After reaching a trough in December 2009, employment in retail trade has expanded by 128,000. Within leisure and hospitality, a job loss in arts, entertainment, and recreation (-26,000) in October offset a gain in food services and drinking places employment (+24,000). The food services industry has added 143,000 jobs since a recent low in December 2009. [Emphasis added] DOW UP ANOTHER 100,000!!!!!!!!!! (Via Seeking Alpha) Thursday, November 04, 2010
Posted
6:55 PM
by Gene
![]() We do not wish to posit a time when what is now SELIGISM was played in Paradise, but long before perhaps the most boring playoffs in the alleged sport's history there was something called baseball, of a time and a type completely foreign to us, and out of that blue came the likes of Sparky Anderson, who not only won championships but spoke memorably of the game with that zesty cracker-barrel humor the best men in it always had. He could have been a politician, perhaps, if he'd so desired, such was his gift of gab, but instead he settled on baseball, and greatness. (Originally posted 5:47 p. m.; moved thrice to save pride of place) P. S. on 11/5/2010 at 5:54 p. m. Of course we should not have forgotten Cincinnati.
Posted
6:53 PM
by Gene
Like Frank, many of the candidates were clearly tired of the vicious attack ads paid for by unknown donors, and of the way those denunciations seemed to creep into the tone of the debate and coverage. But the candidates have to realize that they’re part of the problem. That's because they're part of every problem. (Via the usual Romy)
Posted
6:38 PM
by Gene
Hey guys, maybe you'd better stick to telling us why the markets will QUINTUPLE in the next week, huh?
Posted
6:16 PM
by Gene
Money fund assets fall to $2.8T in latest week
Posted
5:41 PM
by Gene
Gay marriage fight targeted Iowa judges, politicizing rulings on issue And once again Broccoli thinks the mobs read his scribble one word at a time. We don't speak of the Nine Fingers for nothing. There is hardly a judicial decision that isn't political one way or another. Many of our judges are elected. No, judges can do a very good job politicizing on their own.
Posted
5:37 PM
by Gene
Yes, and every time GEKKO has a buying spasm the price of oil goes up, which is too good not to be intentional. Let's turn the spigots off on the little guy again, GEKKO! "Effectively, what the Fed did yesterday was impose a new tax on consumers," Cameron Hanover analyst Peter Beutel said. Which goes to the WALL STREET CASINO!
Posted
1:14 PM
by Gene
Posted
11:44 AM
by Gene
![]() Guess who's about to get a flood of angry phone calls and e-mails via PILLHEAD!!!!!
Posted
11:28 AM
by Gene
TRANSLATION: ST. BENJAMIN SUPPORTS TRICKLE-DOWN!
Posted
10:14 AM
by Gene
(Via the formerly WOLFFMAN!!!!!'s)
Posted
9:04 AM
by Gene
Can't some old soldiers just fade away quietly?
Posted
8:44 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:41 AM
by Gene
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! Perhaps the PUBLIC is finally starting to get even with the BRIAN ROBBERS!
Posted
8:34 AM
by Gene
Unfortunately the man saying this is the soon-to-be-re-incarcerated Conrad "The Historian Convict" Black, who might qualify as a bum himself.
Posted
8:16 AM
by Gene
The better news: It lost subscribers at every level, even among those who MUST pay for everything. The bad news: Enough people are upgrading their service and PEOPLE WARNER CABLE's charging enough of an arm and leg for it that the company's making more money and the GEKKO KUDLOWs are running up the stock today.
Posted
12:53 AM
by Gene
Meantime can the GOP really fret about not winning the Senate given a few of the candidates it put up? No, we're not thinking Christine, so much -- we're thinking MRS. VINCE McMAHON and CARLY.
Posted
12:46 AM
by Gene
GO FOR IT! Wednesday, November 03, 2010
Posted
9:27 AM
by Gene
Hey SLIME! Since this is working so well why not put EVERYTHING of Yours behind a wall! (Via MediaBistro)
Posted
8:46 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:21 AM
by Gene
And how apt of a hack for the blithering EM to help Him take credit. But if PILLHEAD keeps taking credit we can start counting the days to a Democratic House. And His Omnipotence is still the favorite for '12. (Sorry for the HENRY HONEST!!!!!)
Posted
12:37 AM
by Gene
Okay Alan, why is Nielsen incorrect now?
Posted
12:05 AM
by Gene
Now somewhere in America it's safe to be greedy. Tuesday, November 02, 2010
Posted
11:55 PM
by Gene
Posted
11:51 PM
by Gene
Mmmmmmmmmmmm, smell that crisp aroma of AFSCME money burning! Philadelphians! SECEDE!
Posted
11:50 PM
by Gene
Posted
11:44 PM
by Gene
Posted
11:32 PM
by Gene
Even Northeasterners aren't that politically correct.
Posted
11:18 PM
by Gene
Well, have to put it as he'd have put it.
Posted
11:12 PM
by Gene
It did not help that both candidates had -- résumés: with MUG Whitman, eBay; with Carly, HP mismanagement. Still GOOD! Prediction: Gov. Moonbeam muddles, serves one term. P. S. When will MB2 learn a candidate spending his zillions is more likely to spend our zillions? Or in typically tone-deaf prose: McMahon is content to have Connecticut vote on this proposition: There already is a surfeit of Blumenthals in Washington, and a scarcity of McMahons. And had VINCE'S WIFE won (and MUG, and CARLY) in time there'd have been a SURFEIT OF McMAHONS.
Posted
11:10 PM
by Gene
Posted
9:45 PM
by Gene
On the other hand the Dems sure love their hereditary seats.
Posted
9:40 PM
by Gene
Posted
9:25 PM
by Gene
Posted
9:10 PM
by Gene
It appears also from the excessively hard-to-follow coverage that the voters aren't punishing those doing a good job.
Posted
5:43 PM
by Gene
Why must this be restricted to CONSERVATIVE WEB SITES? In the next three weeks, the Obama administration will have to vote on the General Assembly resolution containing the “modalities” for September’s Durban III in New York City. The administration should not only vote no, but must also respond clearly and unequivocally to the following question. Does President Obama plan to attend Durban III, and will his administration take immediate steps to prevent the U.N.’s use of New York City as a vehicle to encourage anti-Semitism under the pretense of combating racism? Expect the NEW! IMPROVED! OMNIPOTENCE ADMINISTRATION to ABSTAIN on both counts.
Posted
5:17 PM
by Gene
There! Finished! And so's the movee biz! (A final thought later.)
Posted
5:15 PM
by Gene
It's Official: The Government Isn't Getting Its Money Back Out of GM
Posted
5:12 PM
by Gene
Is it me or have we been getting quite a few such post-mortems -- and under the circumstance, shouldn't we modify it with the first-person plural?
Posted
2:10 PM
by Gene
Hey NEWT! Didn't somebody say the opposite two not very, very long years ago?
Posted
11:52 AM
by Gene
Posted
10:41 AM
by Gene
The biggest change is in the camp of the potential victors. Two years ago, Democrats waxed romantic. This year, the Republicans seem modest and cautious. I haven’t seen this many sober Republicans since America lost the Ryder Cup. (Via JENNIFER!)
Posted
9:47 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:32 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:20 AM
by Gene
The ICO is to perform in July on the fringes of the annual Beyreuth festival in Germany that celebrates Wagner's operas. It will play Wagner's Siegfrid Idyll, an orchestral piece, as well as a work by Israeli composer Zvi Avni and music by German-born Felix Mendelssohn and Austrian-born Gustav Mahler, two of the most prominent among Jewish-born composers. Talmi said the orchestra's appearance would send a poignant message: "You could not get rid of us. You could not get rid of our music." And that is the important thing. (Via the usual AHTSJournal) Monday, November 01, 2010
Posted
10:30 PM
by Gene
Posted
9:36 PM
by Gene
And further on the topic Yahoo!'s run another of those irritating ads whose sole purpose is to rub someone's excessive show-biz luck in our faces while getting its author a studio job. Which reminds us that though we now speak of sequels the movee biz has retreated to the kind of serial programmers common in the forties -- The Great Gildersleeve, the Mexican Spitfire and Blondie. The problem is, they were B pictures. So are ROWLINGCORP's and MEYERDOM's, and we doubt people will bathe them in nostalgia in another half-century either, no matter JEFF BEWKES's immortality. Which brings us to another star of the Twenties, and the Library of America. The publisher of PHILIP K. DICK!!!!! has actually seen fit to run a Mencken anthology -- and Perfesser Shafer has reviewed it, in a way that might not please certain Web denizens: Mencken completists—myself very much among them—are celebrating the return of all six Prejudices to print by a publisher that will likely keep them there. But sometimes scarcity trumps a surfeit—as Mencken himself believed. In the Sixth Series, he writes that Ambrose Bierce, a writer he hugely favored, "did a serious disservice to himself when he put those twelve volumes [of his collected works] together." By Mencken's reckoning, nobody but a fanatic had ever cracked all twelve, and Bierce should have boiled his anthology down to four or six volumes, maybe even fewer. There was a problem with too much Bierce, Mencken writes: "The result was a depressing assemblage of worn-out and fly-blown stuff, much of it quite unreadable. . . . [H]is good work is lost in a morass of bad and indifferent work . . . filled with epigrams against frauds long dead and forgotten, and echoes of old and puerile newspaper controversies." Yes, the Menck just described blogging.
Posted
5:25 PM
by Gene
We'll try to finish up the alphabet tomorrow!
Posted
1:53 PM
by Gene
Elsewhere WALTER WINCHELL!!!!! JR. was caught boasting (caveat -- a ROMY link), meaning he too learned at the feet of Nick, meaning we can't trust him either.
Posted
11:33 AM
by Gene
(also via I Want Media)
Posted
9:37 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:32 AM
by Gene
Maybe it’s not fair to blame Jon Stewart for all this. He’s a comedian, after all. But he’s the left’s closest equivalent to Rush Limbaugh or Glenn Beck. I don't want to repeat that notorious FDR SOB line but the perfesser's saying This Guy bloviates but He's OUR bloviator. That ED MURROW (or is He WILL ROGERS now?) bloviates just as well as PILLHEAD would seem to diminish Him, but never underestimate the self-delusions of pundits.
Posted
8:22 AM
by Gene
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Posted
6:59 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:34 PM
by Gene
1. The good news for BROAD¢A$TER$: Candidates are spending as though they were in GUVMENT. The BETTER NEWS for BROAD¢A$TER$: They can cram still more ads down their turnips' throats! So what happens after the election? In terms of actual governance, if Republicans sweep to victory, they -- like Obama -- will likely find that change is easier to promise than it is to enact. But in terms of fundraising? "There'll be a hangover after this election," Mr. Tracey said. "There won't be a lot of cash on hand." Both sides -- and incumbents in particular -- are "basically emptying their bank accounts" on this one. Easy solution -- get the PEOPLE to fill them up! 2. It may be too late for GROUPON's IPO because everybody's doing it, and some things cannot be sold with a coupon.
Posted
6:29 PM
by Gene
(Via ESPNCORP Network News)
Posted
2:47 PM
by Gene
HALF-A-DOZEN OF THE OTHER: "Every dollar the government pays its employees is a dollar the government taxes away from somebody else." So let's pay them nothing, Jeff! In the modern America no problem can't be made insoluble. (Via the usual NRO)
Posted
2:23 PM
by Gene
One more page of "The" next time!
Posted
1:42 PM
by Gene
Posted
11:38 AM
by Gene
I can see why some in our government might "debate" that.
Posted
11:32 AM
by Gene
Claim: Video Game Scores Are Now As Good As Movie Scores Which means video games now cost as much to make as movies, and which also means Max Steiner and Alfred Newman are dead.
Posted
10:47 AM
by Gene
Posted
10:38 AM
by Gene
And we can't stand the REV. DR. BECK any more than we can stand the truth tellers of COMEDY CENTRAL NETWORK NEWS. In the end SUMNER NETWORK NEWS is to the left what FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NEWS is to the right, the only difference that the former makes a showy pretense of being factual, and points to pictures of long dead newsmen on the wall, thinking they excuse its faults. We can count on both to mangle the truth for a cause. And for what it's worth even SUMNER'S old hardcore following has died off; Perky Katie is a distant third. The only good is the audience pie is shrinking, but 20.5 million is still too many misinformed and underinformed by all network news. Why must so much "news" reporting resemble PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING? (Via HENRY HONEST!!!!!, who loves such stories because they allow his playpen to go nuts)
Posted
10:28 AM
by Gene
So what's the answer, con-SER-va-tives? Pro-corporate sentiments? A PLAGUE O' SUMNER! A PLAGUE O' CORPORATE AMERICA! A PLAGUE O' BOTH YOUR PARTISAN HOUSES!
Posted
12:18 AM
by Gene
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