THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
Blogroll Me!
![[Powered by Blogger]](http://buttons.blogger.com/bloggerbutton1.gif){kind=small}
Saturday, March 01, 2008
Now remember, eight-digit CEOs, if you ever have trouble sleeping, just read this story at bedtime and you'll be off to the land of Nod instantly.
Although we might prefer some of you be off to the Land of NOD.
Although we might prefer some of you be off to the Land of NOD.
Today Hollywood Elsewhere and its environs are in a tizz because Oldsmobile Films' valedictory did less well than expected. We can only face disappointment to think with the Os-CAR®s the public is showing more discrimination toward movies (or AGAINST, as the case may be), and the CW has it that this masterwork was hurt by Oldsmobile employing the biz' traditional WE'D RATHER LOSE CUSTOMERS AND BE HOLY stratagem; nonetheless we wonder if the moguls are finally realizing there are only so many retards out there, and that even they aren't so easily assuaged.
We have this hunch The MESSIAH will be the first -- well, we can't call him president because he's obviously so much more than that, but still we must call him president -- to use "cool" regularly in his speech. We don't know if it's part of his lingo; certainly Dubya would use it if he could, although with his famous speaking manner it would come out more like ice cubes.
What is most annoying about skateboarding? It's not the stupids who ride the skateboards, nor that they can take up the whole sidewalk even in single-file, nor that they're an accident waiting to happen -- your accident. No, the most annoying thing about skateboarding is the NOISE, almost as loud as an unmuffled car; a half-a-dozen of them are like Hell's Angels on training wheels. The only good thing about the noise is that it alerts you a stupid is about to run you over -- but with more luck will break an arm, something that we always wish for members of the clan of DUH.
Today I saw a big sheepdog lead its master into a video store at 10th and Spruce, presumably to see other dogs.
Alas, it didn't bark, as it should have.
Alas, it didn't bark, as it should have.
Friday, February 29, 2008
"If it's not followed up, it's a waste of time."
It's a waste of time even with a follow-up.
It's a waste of time even with a follow-up.
Two mistakes from THE MESS:
1. Matthew analyzes March 4 races [SIC!!!!!!!!!!]
2.
(First link from Java pop-up window)
1. Matthew analyzes March 4 races [SIC!!!!!!!!!!]
2.
(First link from Java pop-up window)
Victoria's Secret, the lingerie company that introduced the Very Sexy bra, the Fantasy Bra, and the Internet server-crashing fashion show, has become "too sexy" for its own good, its top executive says.
"We've so much gotten off our heritage ... too sexy, and we use the word sexy a lot and really have forgotten the ultra feminine," said Sharen Turney, Victoria's Secret's chief executive, in a call with industry analysts Thursday.
What the hell does this mean?
Sales at Victoria's Secret, like many clothing retailers, have been slipping. (Eighth graf)
Oh, THAT'S what it means.
"We've so much gotten off our heritage ... too sexy, and we use the word sexy a lot and really have forgotten the ultra feminine," said Sharen Turney, Victoria's Secret's chief executive, in a call with industry analysts Thursday.
What the hell does this mean?
Sales at Victoria's Secret, like many clothing retailers, have been slipping. (Eighth graf)
Oh, THAT'S what it means.
One unfortunate byproduct of Linda Greenhouse’s imminent departure from the New York Times will be the generation of fawning articles like this one in the Harvard Crimson.
NO COMMENT.
OR:
It's a real shame that he had to be pulled out because the news leaked.
I thought "THE WORLD'S MOST POWERFUL JOURNALIST!!!!!!!!!!" was YOUR FAVORITE, Ms. Travers.
NO COMMENT.
OR:
It's a real shame that he had to be pulled out because the news leaked.
I thought "THE WORLD'S MOST POWERFUL JOURNALIST!!!!!!!!!!" was YOUR FAVORITE, Ms. Travers.
Security, the most basic public good a state can provide for its population, is a central element in the myth of Putinism. In fact, the frequency of terrorist attacks in Russia has increased under Putin. The two biggest terrorist attacks in Russia's history -- the Nord-Ost incident at a theater in Moscow in 2002, in which an estimated 300 Russians died, and the Beslan school hostage crisis, in which as many as 500 died -- occurred under Putin's autocracy, not Yeltsin's democracy. The number of deaths of both military personnel and civilians in the second Chechen war -- now in its eighth year -- is substantially higher than during the first Chechen war, which lasted from 1994 to 1996. (Conflict inside Chechnya appears to be subsiding, but conflict in the region is spreading.) The murder rate has also increased under Putin, according to data from Russia's Federal State Statistics Service. In the "anarchic" years of 1995-99, the average annual number of murders was 30,200; in the "orderly" years of 2000-2004, the number was 32,200. The death rate from fires is around 40 a day in Russia, roughly ten times the average rate in western Europe.
Nor has public health improved in the last eight years. Despite all the money in the Kremlin's coffers, health spending averaged 6 percent of GDP from 2000 to 2005, compared with 6.4 percent from 1996 to 1999. Russia's population has been shrinking since 1990, thanks to decreasing fertility and increasing mortality rates, but the decline has worsened since 1998. Noncommunicable diseases have become the leading cause of death (cardiovascular disease accounts for 52 percent of deaths, three times the figure for the United States), and alcoholism now accounts for 18 percent of deaths for men between the ages of 25 and 54. At the end of the 1990s, annual alcohol consumption per adult was 10.7 liters (compared with 8.6 liters in the United States and 9.7 in the United Kingdom); in 2004, this figure had increased to 14.5 liters. An estimated 0.9 percent of the Russian population is now infected with HIV, and rates of infection in Russia are now the highest of any country outside Africa, at least partly as a result of inadequate or harmful legal and policy responses and a decrepit health-care system. Life expectancy in Russia rose between 1995 and 1998. Since 1999, however, it has declined to 59 years for Russian men and 72 for Russian women.
At the same time that Russian society has become less secure and less healthy under Putin, Russia's international rankings for economic competitiveness, business friendliness, and transparency and corruption all have fallen. The Russian think tank INDEM estimates that corruption has skyrocketed in the last six years. In 2006, Transparency International ranked Russia at an all-time worst of 121st out of 163 countries on corruption, putting it between the Philippines and Rwanda. Russia ranked 62nd out of 125 on the World Economic Forum's Global Competitiveness Index in 2006, representing a fall of nine places in a year. On the World Bank's 2006 "ease of doing business" index, Russia ranked 96th out of 175, also an all-time worst.
PUTIN FOREVER!!!!!
Nor has public health improved in the last eight years. Despite all the money in the Kremlin's coffers, health spending averaged 6 percent of GDP from 2000 to 2005, compared with 6.4 percent from 1996 to 1999. Russia's population has been shrinking since 1990, thanks to decreasing fertility and increasing mortality rates, but the decline has worsened since 1998. Noncommunicable diseases have become the leading cause of death (cardiovascular disease accounts for 52 percent of deaths, three times the figure for the United States), and alcoholism now accounts for 18 percent of deaths for men between the ages of 25 and 54. At the end of the 1990s, annual alcohol consumption per adult was 10.7 liters (compared with 8.6 liters in the United States and 9.7 in the United Kingdom); in 2004, this figure had increased to 14.5 liters. An estimated 0.9 percent of the Russian population is now infected with HIV, and rates of infection in Russia are now the highest of any country outside Africa, at least partly as a result of inadequate or harmful legal and policy responses and a decrepit health-care system. Life expectancy in Russia rose between 1995 and 1998. Since 1999, however, it has declined to 59 years for Russian men and 72 for Russian women.
At the same time that Russian society has become less secure and less healthy under Putin, Russia's international rankings for economic competitiveness, business friendliness, and transparency and corruption all have fallen. The Russian think tank INDEM estimates that corruption has skyrocketed in the last six years. In 2006, Transparency International ranked Russia at an all-time worst of 121st out of 163 countries on corruption, putting it between the Philippines and Rwanda. Russia ranked 62nd out of 125 on the World Economic Forum's Global Competitiveness Index in 2006, representing a fall of nine places in a year. On the World Bank's 2006 "ease of doing business" index, Russia ranked 96th out of 175, also an all-time worst.
PUTIN FOREVER!!!!!
The USS New York, which is to be christened tomorrow, carries 7.5 tons of WTC steel -- all the better for it to face down our enemies.
These fabrications have become so common in book publishing as to not merely erase the distinctions between fiction and non-fiction, but as to turn the whole business into a mirage.
On the third day of our two-month-long period of mourning for William:
Yesterday on The Corner and on Wednesday in the Washington Post, I noted that WFB was a critic of the war in Iraq but that he had supported the troop surge. The former point is surely correct but the latter point I'm now less certain about....
Shouldn't we have quit while we were ahead?
Yesterday on The Corner and on Wednesday in the Washington Post, I noted that WFB was a critic of the war in Iraq but that he had supported the troop surge. The former point is surely correct but the latter point I'm now less certain about....
Shouldn't we have quit while we were ahead?
Matt Drudge: world's most powerful journalist
If this idiot hyperbole is true -- and we could more credibly argue WALTER WINCHELL!!!! is the world's most OVERRATED jernalist -- will people like the Professor please justify a one-man SUMNERITE organization? We thought the whole point of the Web was Democracy! No, the whole point of the Web is to scream MEMEME! at the top of your lungs.
(Via MediaBistro)
If this idiot hyperbole is true -- and we could more credibly argue WALTER WINCHELL!!!! is the world's most OVERRATED jernalist -- will people like the Professor please justify a one-man SUMNERITE organization? We thought the whole point of the Web was Democracy! No, the whole point of the Web is to scream MEMEME! at the top of your lungs.
(Via MediaBistro)
At Corning, the top executives made a conscious decision to keep virtually all of their R&D at headquarters. "We want to invest in creating a pool of expertise that is relatively stable here in Corning, N.Y.," says Mark A. Newhouse, senior vice-president for new business development. Adds David L. Morse, senior vice-president for corporate research: "This country is still the best place to do industrial research."
If only the rest of corporate America took this enlightened approach, instead of throwing our jobs away in the name of making the shareholders richer -- but as we've said before, any big business that calls itself "international" gives itself carte blanche to commit treason.
If only the rest of corporate America took this enlightened approach, instead of throwing our jobs away in the name of making the shareholders richer -- but as we've said before, any big business that calls itself "international" gives itself carte blanche to commit treason.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
As expected, another unneeded movie marque has become an Oldsmobile.
The 40-year-old studio behind such franchises as "Lord of the Rings," "Austin Powers" and "Rush Hour"....
In Hollywood they call it tradition. In the rest of America we call it DRECK.
"People start out with high hopes for these indie studios," said media analyst Harold Vogel, "But ultimately they encounter rising costs and difficulties in managing the businesses. At some point, the cash flow and balance sheets fall short of their ambitions."
TRANSLATION: Maybe lunatics can't run an asylum.
The 40-year-old studio behind such franchises as "Lord of the Rings," "Austin Powers" and "Rush Hour"....
In Hollywood they call it tradition. In the rest of America we call it DRECK.
"People start out with high hopes for these indie studios," said media analyst Harold Vogel, "But ultimately they encounter rising costs and difficulties in managing the businesses. At some point, the cash flow and balance sheets fall short of their ambitions."
TRANSLATION: Maybe lunatics can't run an asylum.
If we're to judge from this little walk in the park, if WFB did finance NR it's in trouble. Fortunately Jo-NAH could help out with HIS NUMBER ONE PAPER OF RE-CORD BEST SELLER. (Do we call HIM WFB now?) And when the Tom Lehrer of colyumnists boasts:
Slate is now profitable, and that is one of the proudest accomplishments of my life.
...let us remember the accomplishment is even prouder given that it swims in St. Warren's largesse, but enough of that for now.
P. S. Bill heply "changed his mind" on Vietnam -- just as he changed his mind on Iraq. That is why we wonder if Bill got into the conservative business because it paid.
Slate is now profitable, and that is one of the proudest accomplishments of my life.
...let us remember the accomplishment is even prouder given that it swims in St. Warren's largesse, but enough of that for now.
P. S. Bill heply "changed his mind" on Vietnam -- just as he changed his mind on Iraq. That is why we wonder if Bill got into the conservative business because it paid.
On YouTube, more and more of everything
The website is awash in video, few interesting. Anyone can watch, but the site proves that there is anonymity in numbers.
TRANSLATION: YouTube is video Blogger, only too much more so.
The website is awash in video, few interesting. Anyone can watch, but the site proves that there is anonymity in numbers.
TRANSLATION: YouTube is video Blogger, only too much more so.
KING CRAZY EDDIE ERUCTETH:
"A company can always invest more money in its operations, but, when we make an investment, we expect to earn an appropriate return."
TRANSLATION: I'LL LET EVERY LAST STORE FALL DOWN AROUND OUR CUSTOMERS' HEADS BEFORE I - WE SPEND A DIME OF MY -- OUR MONEY ON THEM!!!!!
Yes, I can see Dubya apologizing for slavery. I can see it too as one of his last acts, as a kind of take-that! to con-SER-va-tives. Of course this isn't about slavery, it's about CAPITAL-R REPARATIONS, with half going to JE$$E, Rev. Al and their hand-rubbing friends, and an apology will merely get that superexpensive ball rolling.
What makes you think NUMBER ONE would be NUMBER TWO?
Honorary Vice-President Mike just doesn't have the same ring to it.
Honorary Vice-President Mike just doesn't have the same ring to it.
The IDIOT Mogul's Friend now says if the Os-CARs® become like ESPN they'll be fine. Maybe they can even lift the music -- you know, da-da-DUT! da-da-DUT!
The only difference between this MORON and Robert "Over the" Hilburn is the subject matter. They both make dense seem spongy.
(Via ArtsJournal)
The only difference between this MORON and Robert "Over the" Hilburn is the subject matter. They both make dense seem spongy.
(Via ArtsJournal)
Shucks, I guess it's going to be Honorary MAYOR Mike after all.
Please, Honorary, don't EVER stop changing the world!
Please, Honorary, don't EVER stop changing the world!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
"I'm happy the films are appreciated today, but when they were made, fantasy movies just weren't very popular. They were considered B pictures," Harryhausen says. "We had to do things like use stock footage from other movies to cut corners. In the beginning, we couldn't afford a composer. We couldn't even afford color."
And now, Ray, for reasons entirely not your fault, we have nothing but corner-embellishing, lavishly-scored, full-color B PICTURES.
And now, Ray, for reasons entirely not your fault, we have nothing but corner-embellishing, lavishly-scored, full-color B PICTURES.
And on the day con-SER-va-tives mourn Bill, salt in their grief's wound:
The House of Representatives brushed aside threats of a White House veto today and voted 236 to 182 in favor of an $18 billion tax package that would rescind a tax break for the five biggest oil giants and use the revenue to boost incentives for wind and solar energy and energy efficiency.
Luckily (it says here) the Senile Chamber won't go for it, let alone Dubya, meaning greed -- er, reason will prevail.
The House of Representatives brushed aside threats of a White House veto today and voted 236 to 182 in favor of an $18 billion tax package that would rescind a tax break for the five biggest oil giants and use the revenue to boost incentives for wind and solar energy and energy efficiency.
Luckily (it says here) the Senile Chamber won't go for it, let alone Dubya, meaning greed -- er, reason will prevail.
Having read (or attempted to read) these "satires" of THE GREATEST SCREEN COMEDY OF ALL TIME we wonder just how great it was. Given that the ad-blurbists' idea of wit has included nearly every grossout comedy of the last four years we can especially question it. Yes, the razzing is based on jealousy; but yes it's likely to be based on WIDE-EYED ARM-WAVING ENTHUSIASM too. If these "satires" reflect the original we'd say in ten years the efforts of THE GREATEST STRIPPER WRITER OF ALL TIME will be as incomprehensible as the scribblings in the bowels of the Pyramids -- and at least they have archaeologists.
(Via the usual ArtsJournal)
Immigration: No Correlation With Crime
Not likely, however non-partisan the source: criminals tend to be on the lesser side of the bell curve, and so are illegals. Their willingness to do anything to jump our border (not to mention a number of prominent auto accidents caused by illegals) makes us further wonder just precisely how patriotic before the fact they are.
Not likely, however non-partisan the source: criminals tend to be on the lesser side of the bell curve, and so are illegals. Their willingness to do anything to jump our border (not to mention a number of prominent auto accidents caused by illegals) makes us further wonder just precisely how patriotic before the fact they are.
Today we learned cats can't taste sweet. Would the same were true with politicians.
Another reason not to listen to sports on the radio: We are sorry to hear that Myron Cope, inventor of the Terrible Towel and the Immaculate Reception, and one of the most gleefully imitable of all football color men, has died. We discovered him rather late and still could not stop mimicking him. The world is a sadder place without such.
(Via BloomyLite)
(Via BloomyLite)
NR's Ms. Travers has just announced that "WFB" has died. He was a conservative stalwart, that is true; there was also something opportunistic about him, something weaselly, that we can't quite pin down; that we will forever associate him with Bach's B-Minor Mass and "Roll Over, Beethoven" may have something to do with it. Perhaps it was that odd, patrician way of speaking of his, with his six-syllable words and his nose always turned upward, and the voice the stuff of David Frye's dreams. (Who was David Frye?) On the other hand he leaves behind a monument, an imperfect monument, a magazine that at its best has taken courageous stands against Communism and our moral rot, and that at its worst (and that more recently, and through its Web site) stands for Gekko Kudlowism and stupid pop-culture obsessions. Certainly the modern conservative movement would not quite have been the same without him. Well, we'll judge him by the best of what he left behind, which is an achievement worthy enough.
(Revised at 11:40 a.m.)
(Revised at 11:40 a.m.)
And what do Mr. Toll and Col. Zell have in common? They say the people who are ruining our economy aren't ruining our economy!
That they also have real-estate sections in common might be a reason to doubt them.
That they also have real-estate sections in common might be a reason to doubt them.
But in fairness he does link to a story (albeit in his kind of Web site) about the style changes at Moo -- that other Washington paper. We understand why the knee-jerk con-SER-va-tive may be upset; there is a soundness to that old NR truism that any organization not expressly right-wing will turn left over time. And God knows there are enough people in the press who want to say "Hi mom!" to their fellow newsies. But maybe this former WaPost typist would not have had to do these things if his bosses hadn't engaged in certain self-parodies in the first place.
Here the Greenhouse Effect is whooshing her way out of the Nine Fingers' building -- and Romy doesn't have it up yet, presumably because neither he nor his many fans read THAT kind of Web site.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
I was in little mood to post today -- especially after reading this one from TNR.com. The Messiah said something about Israel that appealed to two liberal blogging bigmouths who are opposites on the matter. I guess that means he knows how to talk, said the poster. Oh no, said somebody, he's a Rorschach test. Besides, said another, one of said bloggers is an anti-Semite. The anti-Semite is Jewish, said another. His mother's Jewish, said another, but he sounds like an anti-Semite. And so on. And so on and so on. And so on and so on and so on. Too much of the Web is like a convention of mothers-in-law. There is not one unspoken opinion on the whole wired universe, except the unspoken word of the truth, which surely alights on a few of us; but to find it alighting one goes blind before a monitor. I am tired of the wild goose chase that has become consuming news on the Net, and am more tired still of having to make snazzy remarks when so much of the news doesn't even merit an ape's grunt. That's why I was in little mood to post today.
Enguhland's aw-shucks-we're-the-people paper the Daily Mail has posted this picture and others from a Web site devoted to Photoshop manipulation (and which it's very careful to misidentify) whose denizens engaged in a "contest" to devise a new Hollywood femme fatale, and of course (if we're to judge from the other entries) they all look a bit weird. Perhaps that's why pixel celebs in movies won't work; they're human like a Scientologist. But aside from the compulsion many have for idle mouse clicking said contest points to the lack of true media femme fatales, which helps explain why going to the movies isn't a mandatory behavior anymore.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Between alleged mistresses and alleged land deals this might be the first presidential campaign that requires hearing protection -- and gas masks.
And those who think that corny statuette means something may want to ponder this cavalcade of Os-CAR one- and two-hit female wonders. Why the author doesn't mention men is strange except for one thing -- as Seymour Martin Herschel or whatever proved, the male winners needn't rely on their looks.
One last time: I have HAD it with these preposterous excuses for the Os-CAR®s! How many times must someone remind these fillum perfessers about all the dark movies of the Depression like Gold Diggers of 1933? IDIOTS!
I throw a tantrum in part because of what Michael "Ninny" Medved said a few days ago in his two-club-footed manner: the Os-CAR®s, whatever their stink quota, were part of the cultural commons, as were the movies they celebrated. Take them out of the commons and we have far less in common. The Founders adopted the motto E PLURIBUS UNUM for a REASON.
Also this piece of typing has David "Non" Germain all over it. Another blithering bozo.
The lowest RATING since the first Os-CAR® telecast in 1953. Care to top that next year, MOVIE MORONS?
I throw a tantrum in part because of what Michael "Ninny" Medved said a few days ago in his two-club-footed manner: the Os-CAR®s, whatever their stink quota, were part of the cultural commons, as were the movies they celebrated. Take them out of the commons and we have far less in common. The Founders adopted the motto E PLURIBUS UNUM for a REASON.
Also this piece of typing has David "Non" Germain all over it. Another blithering bozo.
The lowest RATING since the first Os-CAR® telecast in 1953. Care to top that next year, MOVIE MORONS?
Why shouldn't people shop around for churches? Some of our forefathers left from England because they didn't like the state religion. That so many can engage so freely in church swapping should nonetheless provoke what passes for our religious leaders into asking why; but as such clowns as the head of the British Vicarage and Tea-Time Club are the rule they may not have the brainpower to ask -- nor, we dare say, may they know WHOM to ask.
Mogul's Friend is at the top of the list of colyumnists who deserve the heave-ho. Today he provides a raging excuse for dark, brooding, angry, DISGUSTED movies. Sorry Mog, but ol' A. C. just said that disgust can cut BOTH WAYS. Our best advice though, Mog, is that you further encourage your mogul friends to keep making such dark, brooding, angry, DISGUSTED movies and free the public from the need to watch ANY movie EVER AGAIN.
A STICK IT UP YOUR WAZOO AWARD to MOG!
A STICK IT UP YOUR WAZOO AWARD to MOG!
"NYT, even with its occasional stumbles, is a national asset"
A few more P-Ulitzer winners like last week and we'll call it a national liability.
A few more P-Ulitzer winners like last week and we'll call it a national liability.
You don't suppose that might explain why we were...
DOWN TWENTY-ONE PERCENT FROM LAST YEAR!!!!!?
LET THE WAILING AND GNASHING OF TEETH BEGIN!
DOWN TWENTY-ONE PERCENT FROM LAST YEAR!!!!!?
LET THE WAILING AND GNASHING OF TEETH BEGIN!
Despite a 100 rating at Rotten Tomatoes and some critics virtually begging audiences to see it (The New York Times called it "essential"), Taxi to the Dark Side opened Jan. 18 to mostly empty theaters. The film, which explores the death of an innocent Afghani taxi driver tortured to death by U.S. soldiers, may not even hit TV screens: The Discovery Channel, which purchased the film's broadcast rights, recently informed director Alex Gibney it had decided not to air it. Gibney said he believes the cable station found it too incendiary.
But but but...it won an Os-CAR®!
But but but...it won an Os-CAR®!
Sunday, February 24, 2008
If it's Sunday it must be The Big Double-A Scribble:
1. Bigbiz thinks it can atone for its sins by wearing a green skin, which alas is but a chameleon-like PC covering for all the very green SLIME underneath.
2. "As proof that it's spending its marketing dollars wisely, Kimberly-Clark Chairman-CEO Thomas Falk told analysts last week that the company expects to spend only 46% of its marketing budget on TV this year, down from 60% in 2004." But if we know a proud member of the American Society of Willfully Ignorant Advertisers, the 46% is probably larger than the 60%, meaning more junk TV.
K-C's marketing spending was up $50 million last year (from a reported $438.4 million in global ad spending in 2006) despite the pressure of rising commodity costs, Mr. Falk said in the company's CAGNY presentation. K-C plans to keep using restructuring savings to raise spending ahead of sales this year and next.
What that doesn't translate to for either company, however, is more TV ads. For Unilever, in fact, it means creating fewer ads, even if each ad gets more spending behind it. Knorr, Unilever's biggest global brand, with more than $5 billion in sales, has cut the number of TV ads it produces from around 130 in 2005 to around 30 projected this year.
Just because they're producing fewer ads doesn't mean they're using them in fewer places; it just means they can make a dollar go further on JUNK TV.
In place of TV, K-C is focusing more a variety of other things, including packaging design, which Mr. Falk said "was not on the radar screen to any extent for any of our brands" a few years ago. "Today packaging design is a marketing channel and is one of the top channels in five of our six [top brands]."
You mean these idiots are finally realizing they can sell at the POINT OF PURCHASE? And that their packaging can SELL?!?!?
Sorry to make such a big thing of this but it seems every damned consumer products firm is solely in business to finance junk TV and INSULT US WITH ITS ADS.
3. Who would have guessed The Messiah has so many fervent acolytes amongst ad types?
And of course they do it for free, which they can afford to do on all the money they make INSULTING US.
4. As if the beverage biz doesn't waste enough resources bottling tap water, now it's selling it to PETS.
1. Bigbiz thinks it can atone for its sins by wearing a green skin, which alas is but a chameleon-like PC covering for all the very green SLIME underneath.
2. "As proof that it's spending its marketing dollars wisely, Kimberly-Clark Chairman-CEO Thomas Falk told analysts last week that the company expects to spend only 46% of its marketing budget on TV this year, down from 60% in 2004." But if we know a proud member of the American Society of Willfully Ignorant Advertisers, the 46% is probably larger than the 60%, meaning more junk TV.
K-C's marketing spending was up $50 million last year (from a reported $438.4 million in global ad spending in 2006) despite the pressure of rising commodity costs, Mr. Falk said in the company's CAGNY presentation. K-C plans to keep using restructuring savings to raise spending ahead of sales this year and next.
What that doesn't translate to for either company, however, is more TV ads. For Unilever, in fact, it means creating fewer ads, even if each ad gets more spending behind it. Knorr, Unilever's biggest global brand, with more than $5 billion in sales, has cut the number of TV ads it produces from around 130 in 2005 to around 30 projected this year.
Just because they're producing fewer ads doesn't mean they're using them in fewer places; it just means they can make a dollar go further on JUNK TV.
In place of TV, K-C is focusing more a variety of other things, including packaging design, which Mr. Falk said "was not on the radar screen to any extent for any of our brands" a few years ago. "Today packaging design is a marketing channel and is one of the top channels in five of our six [top brands]."
You mean these idiots are finally realizing they can sell at the POINT OF PURCHASE? And that their packaging can SELL?!?!?
Sorry to make such a big thing of this but it seems every damned consumer products firm is solely in business to finance junk TV and INSULT US WITH ITS ADS.
3. Who would have guessed The Messiah has so many fervent acolytes amongst ad types?
And of course they do it for free, which they can afford to do on all the money they make INSULTING US.
4. As if the beverage biz doesn't waste enough resources bottling tap water, now it's selling it to PETS.
A PREDICTION: One of the first things The Messiah does is to very pretentiously announce He will make a jaunt to Cuba, Iran and North Korea. Whether there's any practical difference to Dubya's incompetence is questionable. What's starting to strike us about The Messiah though is that at best He's naive; at worst He knows what He's doing.
Another prediction: His inaugural speech is almost as long as Tippecanoe's. He'll deliver it without a prepared text. Jeff "Mensa" Greenfield will call it "brilliant."
Another prediction: His inaugural speech is almost as long as Tippecanoe's. He'll deliver it without a prepared text. Jeff "Mensa" Greenfield will call it "brilliant."
"People call them up-and-coming, but they never last. They are the new fakes for the new generation."
Dame Kiri has unwittingly written a motto for the disciples of THE MESSIAH.
(Via ArtsJournal)
Dame Kiri has unwittingly written a motto for the disciples of THE MESSIAH.
(Via ArtsJournal)
If, as we fervently hope, the Os-©A®s' ratings tank -- highly unlikely; the automatic audience wants to see the ugly dresses -- it will occasion such wailing and gnashing of teeth as we haven't seen since...the STRIKE. SUPERNIKKI!!!!! will quote five insiders, and Mogul's Friend will mourn that Hollywood has lost its...SOUL. Of course one lousy batch of numbers won't change an industry as deeply set in its ways as your typical KKK cross-burning (as thus it resembles, though the Kluxers' sheets tend to be prettier), but in addition to all sorts of very public breast-beating may come covert ways to improve God's gift to man -- like maybe nominating some "DRECK" for best pic-tyure. This would seem impossible but the ad-blurbists can be very obliging; after all, they frequently fill in their names above the DRECK's titles. It may even occasion some remakes of classics, except that Rosie's Nephew already tried remaking Casablanca, and it didn't even get nominated for a Razzie. No, most probably the hacks of both kinds will merely say it's the PUBLIC's fault for not appreciating such greatness, as they always do, and barring an effusion of genius from another planet we shall see as many ad-blurbist-pleasing bores five years from now, or ten, or twenty -- unless the biz has so successfully chased its clientèle away as to finally go out of business, as it's often threatened.
By the way, SUPERNIK!!!!!, could it be the lack of "Triple-A presenters and performers" tonight mirrors the lack of Triple-A talent in the BUSINESS? And since you mention it we further hope Diablo (!) has the chance to repeat her performance tonight, which will send the whole American Society of Willfully Ignorant Advertisers contingent into such delirium they'll pay twice as much next year for a thirty -- not that anyone has to coach them. Ub Iger! Better get another couple of million ready!
By the way, SUPERNIK!!!!!, could it be the lack of "Triple-A presenters and performers" tonight mirrors the lack of Triple-A talent in the BUSINESS? And since you mention it we further hope Diablo (!) has the chance to repeat her performance tonight, which will send the whole American Society of Willfully Ignorant Advertisers contingent into such delirium they'll pay twice as much next year for a thirty -- not that anyone has to coach them. Ub Iger! Better get another couple of million ready!
We may ask of this story, so what? Ralph isn't 46 anymore, and politically religious types want -- and have -- a real messiah, not one whose face bears the scars of a man who's walked on water a bit too often.
I did not post yesterday because I had nothing to say -- and more to the point, as I've noted too often before, I'm weary of typing into a void. I've long doubted blogging's value, and when even the self-selected leaders are getting fewer hits we may wonder if blogging's become simply too much of a bad thing. For what it's worth I'm e-mailing PajamasMedia.com to ask for inclusion onto its blogroll -- and my only solace is that it appears many of the listed blogs haven't added new posts in quite some time. Nor have I given up the thought of e-mailing HuffPo -- indeed I'd be comfortable linking to both; I view them as the ASCAP and BMI of blogging; and while the analogy's far from perfect at least it might reduce my chances of being typecast were I to type for more than wearing out a keyboard. Oh well, onward and sideward.