THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Saturday, January 24, 2009
We have little sympathy for Mrs. One. Businessmen have made money off the First Family since before graft was born. We post this picture of the strikingly beautiful Frances Folsom because when she married Grover Cleveland in the White House all sorts of for-profit knickknacks appeared, prompting a Democrat to try to pass a law preventing the use of any woman's image without permission. It was never even voted on.
Her facility with the classics came in handy when, during the endless receiving lines she found quite dull, she conjugated Greek and Latin verbs in her head.
Could Mrs. One do that?
I tried to fix my blog so it displays archives, something it hasn't done for a long time, and now I've screwed it up a little. I am hoping at some point to get a new template, but in the meantime, you random computers who discover me, this will stay as is.
"THE TRUE LEADER OF THE REPUBLICAN OPPOSITION" ERUCTS:
One more thing, Byron. Your publication and website have documented Obama's ties to the teachings of Saul Alinksy while he was community organizing in Chicago. Here is Rule 13 of Alinksy's Rules for Radicals:
"Pick the target, freeze it, personalize it, and polarize it."
Your CREDO in a NUTSHELL -- PILLHEAD.
Pill's been getting His name in the papers lately. His contract in trouble? His CHEAP CHANNEL in trouble?
Now we wonder if The One made a tactical blunder. By recognizing PILLHEAD he's effectively moved down to His level and legitimized this jackass as his equal. A true political leader knows when to pick fights -- and when to stifle his enemies with silence.
One more thing, Byron. Your publication and website have documented Obama's ties to the teachings of Saul Alinksy while he was community organizing in Chicago. Here is Rule 13 of Alinksy's Rules for Radicals:
"Pick the target, freeze it, personalize it, and polarize it."
Your CREDO in a NUTSHELL -- PILLHEAD.
Pill's been getting His name in the papers lately. His contract in trouble? His CHEAP CHANNEL in trouble?
Now we wonder if The One made a tactical blunder. By recognizing PILLHEAD he's effectively moved down to His level and legitimized this jackass as his equal. A true political leader knows when to pick fights -- and when to stifle his enemies with silence.
The British invented RENDELLISM before Eddie. Under Labour governments that socialized inefficiency and Maggie who engaged in a crash course in deindustrialization the UK had no industry left, so it built up FINANCE, erecting nice neat shiny structures in an old industrial neighborhood where Ph.Ds. invented the arcane financial instruments that would eventually doom it. (Heck, the lout Phil Gramm's starting to think they didn't work.) Even the tax dollars it alleged to have raised were a mirage. Today Britain faces a depression with nothing to fall back on (and when PILLHEAD's sock puppet Mark says so it's so). First Di; now, the destruction of the Empire is complete.
We are deeply concerned about the environment. That's why if we were to dump star ratings down the toilet they might cause a problem worse than the Exxon Valdez. Perhaps we could blast them into space or bury them in a deep reinforced landfill. But such is their toxic concentration they'd always leach out. Perhaps the only solution is for people to stop writing movie blurbs, as we've suggested for some time, but people would still assign star ratings to everything else, including movies.
And nowhere do the Journals mention Amazon.com, arguably the worst offender. I should know; I've had to assign star ratings there myself.
(Via the usual Romy)
And nowhere do the Journals mention Amazon.com, arguably the worst offender. I should know; I've had to assign star ratings there myself.
(Via the usual Romy)
Here I can't stand Billy OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWAH! Joel either, and here comes The Deep-Thinking Hitler Expert Rock Cri-TIC in full Stale.com IRONY mode, and just by writing he builds up sympathy for him.
Lately Kaplan, Inc. has retraced some of its losses (I can talk like a Wall Street felon too!), but it did lose $11 today, and hope springs eternal.
Lately Kaplan, Inc. has retraced some of its losses (I can talk like a Wall Street felon too!), but it did lose $11 today, and hope springs eternal.
Friday, January 23, 2009
I'm guessing this will be another NO SNITCHIN'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, meaning for all practical purposes yet another neighborhood celebrates another murder of another child.
Have any ideas, ONE?
Have any ideas, ONE?
GOOD NEWS FOR BAD TIMES: Local TV, home of PROFIT CENTERS, may not come back. Why? It relies on auto dealers (fewer of those selling fewer cars), retailers (fewer of those selling fewer goods), and other consumer businesses. How will we learn of all those gruesome crimes? Who will tell us a whole NFL team must be fired? Where will we turn when we want a weatherman in a clown get-up?
OH oh, the hacks are starting to notice Zany Uncle Joe -- and so's The One!
Okay One, tell us again -- why did you choose Franklin Roosevelt as your veep?
Forbeslist.com has created another of its irritating listicles documenting the 25 most influential something-or-others, and while we'd never praise anybody who cuts and pastes a listicle at least these folks didn't call Mr. MELLERDRAMMER a conservative.
(Via the usual Romy)
(Via the usual Romy)
And in other news from the Puzzle Palace of Fairfield:
WE WILL NOT CUT OUR DIVIDEND!!!!! WE WILL KEEP OUR TRIPLE-A RATING!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WE WILL NOT CUT OUR DIVIDEND!!!!! WE WILL KEEP OUR TRIPLE-A RATING!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Jo-NAH belches stupidly that this video has been "yanked from YouTube" when it is not only all over the place, but has its own MySpace page, no doubt financed by The One's permanent campaign -- and in no small part by SLIME. We confess to not having recognized most of the people here; but we've mentioned 1944 often enough to not do so further. The dorky music and dorky supposed celebs, not content to confirm yet another of Shaw's Maxims for Revolutionists, make quite clear in their own aw-shucks humble way that the next time a conservative does something EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL a few of their number may not seem so aw-shucks humble.
It is hard, however, to get that exercised thanks to THIS. PILLHEAD responds to the well-meaning sing-songy nursery-school Winston-Smith-being-brainwashed dorkery by reminding us what a shame it was he could not have entrusted some of his zillions to a fellow Palm Beach zillionaire.
P. S. Judging from the list we doubt if some of the celebs recognized some of the names either.
P. P. S. I know what PILL MEANS to say -- but that MAXIM applies even more to HIM.
Chrysler offers employee pricing, discount to all customers
...and that's on top of YOUR PREPAID TAX discount!
...and that's on top of YOUR PREPAID TAX discount!
I'm starting to think, if we must have movie ad-blurbists, let's have one or two like Ross Douthat. He's man enough to admit this year's movies stink, and I get the hunch he'd say movies in general stink. Of course he IS a con-SER-va-tive, and he does quote from the infernal A. O. in one of his mea culpas (at least this year he didn't WAVE HIS ARMS!!!!!), but he links to a few other people who make you believe that not only are movies no good, most of the people who type about them have no sense -- as if it's impossible to think that.
The Cable Commentator Who Embarrassed Himself Most on Inauguration Day [Home-page link]
...and is now getting patted on the back for it by PHIL.
...and is now getting patted on the back for it by PHIL.
BOFA UNMERGES MERRILL'S CHAIRMAN!
What was the point of THAT acquisition?
But look at it this way: Those huge bonuses he rushrushrushed before the merger should make it easier to get our help!
What was the point of THAT acquisition?
But look at it this way: Those huge bonuses he rushrushrushed before the merger should make it easier to get our help!
News of Guantanamo's closure welcomed worldwide
THEY LOVE US! THEY REALLY LOVE US!!!!!
Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft!
THEY LOVE US! THEY REALLY LOVE US!!!!!
Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft!
CUE PILLHEAD! ANN!!!!!!!!!! is calling the president "B. HUSSEIN OBAMA."
Hey guys, just call him HUSSEIN. He's not YOUR president anyway.
Hey guys, just call him HUSSEIN. He's not YOUR president anyway.
Pelosi said one of her favorite moments from Inauguration Day was when Marine One lifted off the Capitol grounds, signifying former President George W. Bush's exit from Washington. "It felt like a 10-pound anvil was lifted off my head," she said.
Now I get to drop it on the PEOPLE!
Pelosi also stopped by a reception Wednesday for San Franciscans who attended the inauguration. As a member of the joint congressional committee that oversaw the event, she expressed her regret that thousands of inaugural ticket-holders never reached their seats or designated standing areas near the Capitol because of long security lines.
"I apologize for that," she said. She noted that her own staffers and their families were among those shut out. "I don't know if my staff will ever forgive me. ... We'll just have to make it up to you the next time."
And she'll get the trains to run on schedule?
Now I get to drop it on the PEOPLE!
Pelosi also stopped by a reception Wednesday for San Franciscans who attended the inauguration. As a member of the joint congressional committee that oversaw the event, she expressed her regret that thousands of inaugural ticket-holders never reached their seats or designated standing areas near the Capitol because of long security lines.
"I apologize for that," she said. She noted that her own staffers and their families were among those shut out. "I don't know if my staff will ever forgive me. ... We'll just have to make it up to you the next time."
And she'll get the trains to run on schedule?
BUGDOM is cutting 5,000. The stock is DOWN nearly nine percent before the open. Let me guess -- not enough layoffs.
But since the BUG is introducing its kinder, gentler Windows, does it need so many people to turn out so much buggy code?
But since the BUG is introducing its kinder, gentler Windows, does it need so many people to turn out so much buggy code?
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Apple Understates The Insanely Great
Little Malcolm's gang may think it's wittily cute writing this way, but we've already had enough mea culpas from hacks about how they crumple under the state control Stevedom exerts. Cut the "comedy", Malc, and tell your underlings to grow up.
Little Malcolm's gang may think it's wittily cute writing this way, but we've already had enough mea culpas from hacks about how they crumple under the state control Stevedom exerts. Cut the "comedy", Malc, and tell your underlings to grow up.
Hilton Hotels Corp. said today it is relocating its headquarters from Beverly Hills, Calif., to the Washington, D.C. metropolitan area as part of its ongoing restructuring program.
This makes no sense. Don't CEOs usually relocate HQ to be nearer the country club?
This makes no sense. Don't CEOs usually relocate HQ to be nearer the country club?
The British government's bailing out THE GAMES!
They should have turned to GE BANCORP but that's a ward of the state too.
They should have turned to GE BANCORP but that's a ward of the state too.
Y'KNOW -- SHE'S WITHDRAWN!
NOW who'll be the hack?
(Via PaperofRe-CORD.com via the Mess)
P. S. at 7:30 p. m. PaperofRe-CORD.com says it was her uncle's health -- y'know. (POR also says his health is "deteriorating." What exactly does POR -- know?
NOW who'll be the hack?
(Via PaperofRe-CORD.com via the Mess)
P. S. at 7:30 p. m. PaperofRe-CORD.com says it was her uncle's health -- y'know. (POR also says his health is "deteriorating." What exactly does POR -- know?
However long we are keepers of the public trust we should never forget that we are here as public servants and public service is a privilege. It's not about advantaging yourself. It's not about advancing your friends or your corporate clients. It's not about advancing an ideological agenda or the special interests of any organization. Public service is, simply and absolutely, about advancing the interests of Americans.
Why couldn't he have said this so simply and forthrightly yesterday?
(Via Contentions)
Why couldn't he have said this so simply and forthrightly yesterday?
(Via Contentions)
Speaking of hermetically-sealed judges, a national internet pornography ban was unworkable. But if I could ask a question of The One, and of the many politicians who spend their lives barricaded from the public, it would be this: Do you believe that mass murders as a form of disease, the culture of death in the ghetto, freely-available porn and unlimited abortions are a price worth paying for what you and other pols must call our "freedom"?
People Inc.'s putative flagship tries starting a trend by noting how a few people wore hats at the coronation, but unfortunately we remember how the rag called Bill Cosby a brilliant author*, and that career ended soon after.
*And as the world now knows he was as much an "author" as the late Margaret Truman.
*And as the world now knows he was as much an "author" as the late Margaret Truman.
OH oh:
Citi on Wednesday said that President Obama's strong popularity and high expectations may be bad for markets, noting that "high expectations have, historically, mostly been associated with poor equity performance in the post-election year." It added that low expectations "have mostly been associated with good performance."
The firm said that only John F. Kennedy created a favorable stock environment for investors in the post-election year, and noted that Obama shares some traits with Kennedy: "they were both Democrats replacing a Republican incumbent, they were both young and inexperienced, and they both had a large working majority," Citi wrote.
CAVEAT: C at $3.08.
Citi on Wednesday said that President Obama's strong popularity and high expectations may be bad for markets, noting that "high expectations have, historically, mostly been associated with poor equity performance in the post-election year." It added that low expectations "have mostly been associated with good performance."
The firm said that only John F. Kennedy created a favorable stock environment for investors in the post-election year, and noted that Obama shares some traits with Kennedy: "they were both Democrats replacing a Republican incumbent, they were both young and inexperienced, and they both had a large working majority," Citi wrote.
CAVEAT: C at $3.08.
Mogul's Friend demonstrates his obtuseness again: He believes The One's "succinct" speech should prove a model for movie extruders.
Au contraire, Mog -- the movie extruders are a model for The One.
I have this hunch Mog doesn't know who wrote the "money quote". (Not that he needs to know; he knows everybody!) Hint, Mog: It wasn't Abe -- or Doris Kearns Goodwin.
P. S. from Peggy "BS" Noonan:
"Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America." For those with enough years to recognize it, that was an echo of a famous World War II-era song by Jerome Kern and Dorothy Fields.
1936, 1939 -- who cares when you're having fun?
Unless of course one of the CONSERVATIVE EDITION's editors didn't want to call attention to -- you know.
Au contraire, Mog -- the movie extruders are a model for The One.
I have this hunch Mog doesn't know who wrote the "money quote". (Not that he needs to know; he knows everybody!) Hint, Mog: It wasn't Abe -- or Doris Kearns Goodwin.
P. S. from Peggy "BS" Noonan:
"Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America." For those with enough years to recognize it, that was an echo of a famous World War II-era song by Jerome Kern and Dorothy Fields.
1936, 1939 -- who cares when you're having fun?
Unless of course one of the CONSERVATIVE EDITION's editors didn't want to call attention to -- you know.
Surprise! A lot of former news hacks may find jobs with The One!
Or to paraphrase THE MASTER, they will not, whither they are now gone, find much difference, I believe, either in the climate or the company.
(Via IWantMedia)
Or to paraphrase THE MASTER, they will not, whither they are now gone, find much difference, I believe, either in the climate or the company.
(Via IWantMedia)
Okay Econowiz and BUGMEISTER, why is Abe raising his LEFT hand?
And the Chief Justice!
This would be worse than a FLUB!
AP NEWSALERT!!!!!
NEW YORK (AP) -- Toyota beats GM in global car sales in 2008, passing the Detroit company for the first time. . [SIC]
Under the circumstances shall we call it a Pyrrhic victory?
NEW YORK (AP) -- Toyota beats GM in global car sales in 2008, passing the Detroit company for the first time. . [SIC]
Under the circumstances shall we call it a Pyrrhic victory?
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Lord Stringer declares civil war at Sony!
And speaking of the Japanese, here's a hed to give us pause -- especially with so many likening our economy to the Lost Decade:
Japan’s ‘Severe’ Recession May Last Three Years, Yoshikawa Says
And speaking of the Japanese, here's a hed to give us pause -- especially with so many likening our economy to the Lost Decade:
Japan’s ‘Severe’ Recession May Last Three Years, Yoshikawa Says
Experts opine: Of the top 4 speeches, Obama's is No. 5
We opine: of the bottom five newspaper stocks -- MNI is NOT No. 6.
Actually we don't know where it is. (Neither do MNI's shareholders, most of whom have long hidden their shares away in the attic.) Who has to know anything when writing smart heds?
We opine: of the bottom five newspaper stocks -- MNI is NOT No. 6.
Actually we don't know where it is. (Neither do MNI's shareholders, most of whom have long hidden their shares away in the attic.) Who has to know anything when writing smart heds?
Maybe it wasn't all genius on Sunday:
The footage of Marian Anderson singing on the same spot back in 1939 was also profoundly moving, but then, returning to the present, who pops up on stage as a contemporary? Ladies and gentlemen, Josh Groban. Ugh....
While Springsteen and Mellencamp used their backup choirs to great effect, I have to say the tableaux of "aging white dude with guitar backed by chorus of blacks" started to get a little bit old right about the time Garth Brooks took the stage, doing a sloppy rendition of "American Pie."...
Then it's time for the moment we've all been waiting for: Irish (but honorary American) combo U2. While most performers managed to contain themselves, despite the emotion of the moment, apparently Bono was a bit confused, deciding that he was being inaugurated....
So, we've seen a nearly unprecedented line-up of celebrities and performers here to celebrate Barack Obama's election. What should we do for a finale? Howabout "Stupid Pet Tricks"? That's right, it's time for "Challenger" and "Mr. Lincoln," the actual names of a couple of trained bald eagles, who, we're told, are "friends." They flap around. Is this supposed to be funny? Maybe it was designed on purpose, to bring us down a bit before Obama's speech, another one on the "things are really bad so everybody please chill" theme. Can't we be giddy for just a day or two?
Well, I'm laughing.
The footage of Marian Anderson singing on the same spot back in 1939 was also profoundly moving, but then, returning to the present, who pops up on stage as a contemporary? Ladies and gentlemen, Josh Groban. Ugh....
While Springsteen and Mellencamp used their backup choirs to great effect, I have to say the tableaux of "aging white dude with guitar backed by chorus of blacks" started to get a little bit old right about the time Garth Brooks took the stage, doing a sloppy rendition of "American Pie."...
Then it's time for the moment we've all been waiting for: Irish (but honorary American) combo U2. While most performers managed to contain themselves, despite the emotion of the moment, apparently Bono was a bit confused, deciding that he was being inaugurated....
So, we've seen a nearly unprecedented line-up of celebrities and performers here to celebrate Barack Obama's election. What should we do for a finale? Howabout "Stupid Pet Tricks"? That's right, it's time for "Challenger" and "Mr. Lincoln," the actual names of a couple of trained bald eagles, who, we're told, are "friends." They flap around. Is this supposed to be funny? Maybe it was designed on purpose, to bring us down a bit before Obama's speech, another one on the "things are really bad so everybody please chill" theme. Can't we be giddy for just a day or two?
Well, I'm laughing.
HERR DOKTOR SONDHEIM cannot get it into his super-refined head that some people wrote better songs than he, even if they occasionally sported corny lyrics.
Which isn't to say the guy is, well, we'll say it, amusing, despite his death-worship, even when being interviewed by the KEITH O (or rather the left-wing NO-SPIN-SPIN-SPIN) of PRINT:
"Hofstra College once played Merrily backwards. We didn't find out until it was over or else we would have been there with the sheriff and shotguns."
"Then there was a production of Company where Bobby shot himself at the end." (Rich's response: "He shot himself after 'Being Alive'?")....
On why South Pacific isn't to his taste: "It's the happiest war I've ever seen."
And a strange admission from a site for super Branson-East fanatics:
At the end of the evening, after the two men had taken their bows, Rich walked off stage for Sondheim to take in his standing ovation from the large, cheering crowd. As he gave a few bows back to us, I began to wonder if he would keep on bowing after the applause had died down, only to be interrupted by Frank Rich's clapping hands.
Chances are the specter of HERR DOKTOR will keep on bowing after people stop listening to his tunes, which we suspect will be some time before the fourteenth successful revival of Oklahoma!
Who wants to bet The One makes a big White House thing of HERR's eightieth birthday?
Which isn't to say the guy is, well, we'll say it, amusing, despite his death-worship, even when being interviewed by the KEITH O (or rather the left-wing NO-SPIN-SPIN-SPIN) of PRINT:
"Hofstra College once played Merrily backwards. We didn't find out until it was over or else we would have been there with the sheriff and shotguns."
"Then there was a production of Company where Bobby shot himself at the end." (Rich's response: "He shot himself after 'Being Alive'?")....
On why South Pacific isn't to his taste: "It's the happiest war I've ever seen."
And a strange admission from a site for super Branson-East fanatics:
At the end of the evening, after the two men had taken their bows, Rich walked off stage for Sondheim to take in his standing ovation from the large, cheering crowd. As he gave a few bows back to us, I began to wonder if he would keep on bowing after the applause had died down, only to be interrupted by Frank Rich's clapping hands.
Chances are the specter of HERR DOKTOR will keep on bowing after people stop listening to his tunes, which we suspect will be some time before the fourteenth successful revival of Oklahoma!
Who wants to bet The One makes a big White House thing of HERR's eightieth birthday?
Apt behavior from a public official, for once: Chris Cox snuck out of there when no one was looking.
If people read my blog posts like this would nip themselves in the bud. The problem isn't that there are all these wonderful speakers in the wings who get passed over for show-biz types at overrated big-ticket affairs like inaugurals. The problem is the wonderful speakers don't exist. I'd wager half the signatories in Arts and Sciences for Roosevelt could have made a decent speech because they knew whererof they spoke. We had an intellectual class in 1944. What do we have now? And where will all these wonderful speakers come from if there's no school for them to learn to think and to write and to speak? Tony's two cents are as much self-delusion as a reflection on the pretty pickle our public life is in -- and however sexy he is The One won't change it.
P. S. I learn now the correct name was the Independent Voters' Committee of the Arts and Sciences for Roosevelt. So much for trusting historian-felons.
P. S. I learn now the correct name was the Independent Voters' Committee of the Arts and Sciences for Roosevelt. So much for trusting historian-felons.
Is Anne Schroeder Mullins auditioning for Rog's job?
We didn't hear the introduction, so we assumed these distinguished musicians were playing the good part from Appalachian Spring. Who knew it was John "The Force" Williams?
In another life, HE might have been a Chief Justice. He looks it.
Now if that isn't a stupid thing to say -- Appalachian Spring is a masterpiece; but after all, Copland did borrow its most memorable tune.
In another life, HE might have been a Chief Justice. He looks it.
Now if that isn't a stupid thing to say -- Appalachian Spring is a masterpiece; but after all, Copland did borrow its most memorable tune.
The hardcore knee-jerk looniest leftists must have laughed and applauded when they saw this. Well, we had our doubts about this Vice-President, just as we've had doubts about the senior senator from Massachusetts, but common decency should prevent guffawing from all sides.
Having already laid off workers by regally screwing up its LBOs, the THREE-HEADED DOG compounds the problem by laying off its own workers because it can't afford any more LBOs.
P. S. The DOG'S chief lobbyist Dan QUAIL, QUAAYL, QUAYLE had a ticket in the high-priced stands, and no doubt kept his potatoe-head warm.
P. S. The DOG'S chief lobbyist Dan QUAIL, QUAAYL, QUAYLE had a ticket in the high-priced stands, and no doubt kept his potatoe-head warm.
With all the planning that went into this event, you'd think that the two Harvard Law grads would be able to get the most important part correct.
Given what that great mutual fund has turned out lately we wouldn't.
We also learned against our will that the IDIOT WALTER WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! blamed The One. We saw it; His Royal Highness the Chief Justice started the ball rolling, and The One moved it further down the field. Something like this, as The One might say in his better moments, is beyond partisanship.
Given what that great mutual fund has turned out lately we wouldn't.
We also learned against our will that the IDIOT WALTER WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! blamed The One. We saw it; His Royal Highness the Chief Justice started the ball rolling, and The One moved it further down the field. Something like this, as The One might say in his better moments, is beyond partisanship.
In a way Bose cutting its workforce confirms our hardships more than any bank running hog wild, because Bose builds stereo equipment for the uppity types who inhabit McMansions -- rather like Harman International -- and this as much as an Angelo eating his sales pitches reflects that people aren't flipping houses anymore.
"The good news is he's gonna be fine," but if this is a prelude to fine we can't imagine a bad day. We would say the senior senator from Massachusetts might best serve the people and himself by retiring, but we remember what happened to Bear Bryant after he retired, so we don't know.
It did not escape our notice that the crowds in Washington were exceptionally well-behaved, despite the incentives: the weather, standing for hours seeing nothing but monitors and specks of dust in the distance, the pushing and shoving and the problems traveling and everything. This does not bode ill for us; a country that can be patient pretending to watch an inauguration can be patient for anything.
God, if only the speech were as good as its cadences! The problem is every president since Lincoln has read his Second Inaugural and he thinks HE can do it. The further problem is nearly every president is not a genius. When The One started with his "pick yourself up, dust yourself off" business how many Republicans chimed in, "and start all over again"? Not good. Nor was it good that he seemed to cram as many sentences and platitudes as possible; nor that at times he seemed to ac-cen-chu-ate the negative. Nonetheless the man can speak. The next few years will tell us if he can govern.
I just hope Mr. Chief Justice's flub was just that.
I just hope Mr. Chief Justice's flub was just that.
Mr. Chief Justice will NEVER live that flub down!
Two predictions: The One WILL use his middle name, and he'll make a brilliant speech.
Well, if the hacks say it's brilliant, it must be brilliant.
Well, if the hacks say it's brilliant, it must be brilliant.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Obama praises McCain as a model of patriotism
TRANSLATION: The knives will come out as Boobs McKeating sharpens his sweet tooth.
TRANSLATION: The knives will come out as Boobs McKeating sharpens his sweet tooth.
The Paper of Re-CORD's cri-TICS always look forward fanny-first:
Fifty-five years on, the Wyman and Hudson performances seem almost equally as studied and poised as those of Dunne and Taylor. What happened in the interim, of course, was the even greater revolution of Method acting. Already in the air in 1954 (the year of “On the Waterfront”), the Method would soon be established as the new standard of realism, consigning Hudson and Taylor alike to the dustbin of thespian history.
I can attest that Hudson’s performance earned howls of laughter at film society screenings in the mid- ’70s, at the moment when Robert De Niro and Al Pacino were scaling the Method heights. But if viewers feel less inclined to laugh at Hudson now, it may be because the cracks in the Method have begun to appear, and Mr. De Niro and Mr. Pacino (as in, for example, the recent “Righteous Kill”) themselves now seem mannered and quaint.
Believability, this fine set reminds us, is a constantly moving goal: it is no sooner reached than it recedes again.
As we say too often, and especially given the source, NUF SAID.
Fifty-five years on, the Wyman and Hudson performances seem almost equally as studied and poised as those of Dunne and Taylor. What happened in the interim, of course, was the even greater revolution of Method acting. Already in the air in 1954 (the year of “On the Waterfront”), the Method would soon be established as the new standard of realism, consigning Hudson and Taylor alike to the dustbin of thespian history.
I can attest that Hudson’s performance earned howls of laughter at film society screenings in the mid- ’70s, at the moment when Robert De Niro and Al Pacino were scaling the Method heights. But if viewers feel less inclined to laugh at Hudson now, it may be because the cracks in the Method have begun to appear, and Mr. De Niro and Mr. Pacino (as in, for example, the recent “Righteous Kill”) themselves now seem mannered and quaint.
Believability, this fine set reminds us, is a constantly moving goal: it is no sooner reached than it recedes again.
As we say too often, and especially given the source, NUF SAID.
THE UNIVERSE'S GREATEST PAY CABLE CHANNEL did weird things to THE CONCERT OF THE MILLENNIUM: It appears to have censored one of the -- singers, and it censored one of the -- preachers. The TWXSTERS would have been better off throwing their $5 million in the street before the homeless they helped wave off.
We may also wonder where the money came from as the TWXSTERS have been having problems with the sport called B-O-X-ING. They should stick with junk movies and IMMORTAL SERIES.
Two-for-one reverse split or three-for-one?
The One's Dog and Pony Show is even causing the true believers to have their doubts. Part of it was his ego, but the inaugural is just another victim of THE SUPERMANNING OF AMERICA, the impulse to turn everything into a WEDDING and create a beautiful gown and nice pictures and a big bill, as that's the only way you can amount to something. A "non-inaugural" wasn't going to happen as there were TV ads to be paid and lobbyists to be fondled, but some people can dream.
Saudi Arabia to donate $1 billion to rebuild Gaza
Okay sheikhs, how much of that goes to rebuilding and how much of that goes to having to rebuild again?
Okay sheikhs, how much of that goes to rebuilding and how much of that goes to having to rebuild again?
Rog has freed himself momentarily from all his celebrity friends to exclaim:
Remember the name Carey Mulligan. The twenty three old British actress is about to become an It girl.
Judging from Google Images that means we're in for a British Meryl Streep. Honest Rog, can't you talk to your bigwig friends and have them come up with a Sophia Loren for once?
P. S. Rog is so happy being Everybody's Favorite Gofer that he hasn't a clue what he's plugging. This is Clara Bow.
Remember the name Carey Mulligan. The twenty three old British actress is about to become an It girl.
Judging from Google Images that means we're in for a British Meryl Streep. Honest Rog, can't you talk to your bigwig friends and have them come up with a Sophia Loren for once?
P. S. Rog is so happy being Everybody's Favorite Gofer that he hasn't a clue what he's plugging. This is Clara Bow.
ST. WARREN has declared our economy a modern-day Pearl Harbor, which means USAOKAY!!!!!'s computers assemble a list of topics where we can "FIND MORE STORIES IN":
Typically clueless and strange -- note the categories for World War II and the Great Depression -- and the ending doesn't inspire confidence either.
More clueless: Click on "World War II" and the second story down is about Couch Jumper, and the fourth and fifth stories down are about the Detroit Lions. NO COMMENT.
(Via Bloomberg)
FIND MORE STORIES IN: United States | Barack Obama | World War II | Omaha | Coca-Cola | Great Depression | Wells Fargo | Warren Buffett | Pearl Harbor | Dateline NBC | CEO of Berkshire Hathaway
Typically clueless and strange -- note the categories for World War II and the Great Depression -- and the ending doesn't inspire confidence either.
More clueless: Click on "World War II" and the second story down is about Couch Jumper, and the fourth and fifth stories down are about the Detroit Lions. NO COMMENT.
(Via Bloomberg)
We're beginning to wonder how much value there is in an economy "growing". If the "growth" is among the Richie Riches and not the working stiffs that doesn't qualify to me as growth. That's what happened in the eighties and nineties. I'd rather an economy didn't grow and at least kept most people in jobs than an economy grow solely for Richie Riches.
People going into hock en masse to buy things they don't need does not qualify as growth in my book either.
Also we still seem to be paying for the Geek Boom at the turn of the century (which the housing psychosis cleverly hid), when business went on a hardware binge, much of it we'd suspect went underused, and practically all of which has since been sent for recycling.
People going into hock en masse to buy things they don't need does not qualify as growth in my book either.
Also we still seem to be paying for the Geek Boom at the turn of the century (which the housing psychosis cleverly hid), when business went on a hardware binge, much of it we'd suspect went underused, and practically all of which has since been sent for recycling.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
"Had we known what we know now, would we have bid for the Olympics? Almost certainly not."
Even the priciest jewelry can seem affordable when you think you have the money for it.
Even the priciest jewelry can seem affordable when you think you have the money for it.
HOWIE HAIRSHIRT had a VISION! He saw that we DON'T NEED NEWSRAGS ANYMORE!
Which makes him, oh, four or five years behind some of us.
Which makes him, oh, four or five years behind some of us.
If some archeologists unearth YouTube artifacts fifty years from now, they will not only puzzle over whether the creators of unaccountably popular videos like this were speaking a recognizable language, but what in God's name they were talking about.
And you know Nancy, your cats are cute but your interns could use a little training in -- production values.
Flight 1549 lost power at 3,200 feet.
This was not an achievement to rank with Lucky Lindy, who merely flew 3,610 miles, but then he didn't carry 150 passengers.
This was not an achievement to rank with Lucky Lindy, who merely flew 3,610 miles, but then he didn't carry 150 passengers.
Did the hacks write this sort of twaddle back in 1861? Or in 1961? I'd imagine expectations for Honest Abe Sr. were quite low. A minority elected him, and even they didn't think he could stop a civil war. As for Jack we can't be sure because he followed what some call a "successful" president (whatever that means) known for talking of nucular weapons, but still any speech by Jack would be an improvement. All this malarkey of the brilliant speech on Tuesday is a means for hacks to flatter themselves that THEY were THERE. No doubt they could have flattered many of the forgettable and forgotten speeches before. Heck we know how news hacks can turn mush into masterpieces; they did it with Slick. On the other hand when Abe Sr. was at Gettysburg a lot of the hacks ignored him, or misquoted him. (Par for the course.) When it comes to "important" presidential speeches the last people we should trust are news hacks.