Posted 6:14 PM by Gene

Stevedom within striking distance of XOM, Warren Buffett Jr. at a thirty-month high, BID at a thirty-month high, the whole of the Wall Street Casino going bananas -- when do the rest of us join in? Or are you merely setting up another practical joke?

Posted 2:30 PM by Gene

What is worse than a Pollyanna who is also a cynic?

In short, what is worse than THE WALL STREET CASINO?

Posted 11:00 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: These guys are craftier than The Lord God Steve. We are NOT posting on America's Longest-Running Publicity Stunt AGAIN.

Posted 6:09 PM by Gene

5:38 PM The American Institute of Architects’ Architecture Billings Index suggests further declines in CRE investment through all of 2010 and probably longer. The AIA cites an "approximate 9- to 12-month lag time between architecture billings and construction spending" on non-residential construction.

DOW 2,000,000,000!!!!!

Fitch: U.S. CMBS [Commercial mortgage-backed security] Loan Defaults to Exceed 11% by End of 2010

DOW 3,000,000,000!!!!!

(Second link via Calculated Risk story)

Posted 5:54 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



USED KLEENEX!

AhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHH-CHOO!!!!!

Posted 5:36 PM by Gene

And then there's -- Tom...TASTIC! He's very upset that CABLE NUISANCE NETWORK's showing LARRY KING!!!!! the door. Hasn't he been hinged to the jamb the last ten years? He also reminds us that fawning Jeff Greenfield types made LARRY!!!!! the INTERVIEWER OF THE AGES, conveniently ignoring that his career has been one long self-parody -- remember his COLUMN? Tom, since he's so great can you tell us of ONE MEMORABLE INTERVIEW -- excluding the stroke of genius where he got Raquel Welch to admit Chicago was one of our fifty-two states? Or when he called Ringo Starr "George"? (We all make mistakes, Tom...TASTIC! would say. Why must some people make mistakes on millions of OUR MONEY?) He says his genius "ask[s] the questions 'normal' people would ask and thus want answered" -- so why is he an immortal marshmallow, the favorite of publicists and Henry Kissingers? Don't answer that, Tom...TASTIC! You might write another column.

What grates us about Chuck and Tom...TASTIC! is they both make low-six-digits typing filler. You should both be grateful THE NEWS BIZ HAS FULLY RECOVERED, lest you join the thousands who did NOT deserve to lose THEIR jobs.

P. S. This pile of BULLHOCKEY has attracted 211 MOSTLY SCATHING COMMENTS, proof to BROCCOLI and Tom...TASTIC! they're grrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRREAT!!!!!

Posted 5:27 PM by Gene

We know why you did it, Chuck. It was a form of pity. We do not trust The Paper of Re-CORD's Branson East revuers because their revuing is economical: raves so that we don't put poor miserable ac-TORS out of work, pans when the theme park's profitable. How many shows have gotten an unjustified long life? How many have been cut down because the revuers had indigestion? Giving raves makes us feel good; we're doing something for the local tourist traps, and besides, we may spawn sequels -- what is more, we may CHANGE THE THEATAH. YA HADDA BE THERE, which was said to have CHANGED THE MUSICAL FOREVER, has thoroughly discredited its own raves a short nine years after its epochal opening, and we'd guess Branson East's historians will read the revues of such HIP! extravaganzas not with mere scorn, but in the belief they led this once AHT form to grow even worse.

Moreover it's a measure of CARLOS THE JACKASS's well-heeled minions that they consider calling Dubya an idiot cutting-edge. Sorry, your knifes lost their sharpness a long time ago.

(Corrected at 6:50 p. m. I called him "Chris." Pffffffffffffft!

Posted 1:49 PM by Gene

[I]f Wall Street can't control itself, someone else will.

Someone else will.

Posted 1:37 PM by Gene

Does it occur to anyone hardly anyone ever mentions America's Longest-Running Publicity Stunt anymore? We guess this video press kit got rolling because these PR execs realized if they were going to make fun of MORMONS on BRANSON EAST it would look strange if they didn't make fun of those people they couldn't make fun of before because THEIR BOSS SUMNER told them not to. It figures, though, that HENRY HONEST! would be interested, just as MS. TRAVERS is, and they both deserve a great big get-lost too.

Posted 1:30 PM by Gene

Speaking of money, need anyone remind us neither party has a monopoly on virtue -- but they do seem to invite anti-trust laws over their vices?

Posted 1:25 PM by Gene

THIS EXCITING NEWS FROM CARTOON NETWORK and THIS EXCITING NEWS FROM VH1 prove an old cable maxim: unnecessary cheap programming expands to fill the amount of coerced cable-subscriber and indiscriminate-advertiser money available.

Posted 8:45 AM by Gene

Juan Antonio Samaranch, who made the GAMES MOVEMENT and BIG BUSINESS one and the same, and made the embezzlements of taxpayers worldwide even bigger, has died. RIP.

Posted 5:51 PM by Gene

5:45 PM ABC Consumer Comfort Index: -3 to -50, matching a 2010 low and not far above its all-time low of -54. Positive ratings of the national economy held steady at 8%, but those who think it's a good time to buy things slipped to 24% - and positive ratings of personal finances slipped to 43% from 47%.

DOW 1,000,000,000!!!!!

Posted 5:31 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



Who says Vietnam couldn't look like a high-rose office park in Anytown, USA?

Posted 5:27 PM by Gene

Speaking of politicians, if the Brits really do elect themselves a hung Parliament we can't say they didn't deserve having to do it, or what will happen after they've done it.

Posted 5:26 PM by Gene

We were so tired and discouraged from posting yesterday that we didn't mention the Oklahoma City atrocity, but we really do think SLICKS and PILLHEADS would both do best to KEEP THEIR OVERPAID YAPS SHUT. Ultimately that terrorist act was not about politics, but after SLICK and PILLHEAD get their PEANUT GALLERIES excited it IS, and that slimes the victims, and their survivors.

Posted 5:16 PM by Gene

Why Roger Ebert Gets a Thumbs Down on Video Games

Let me guess what VIDEOGAME DIVISION of A MOVIE STUDIO DIVISION of a COMIC BOOK DIVISION OF YOU-KNOW-WHO is putting out...never mind.

Posted 5:12 PM by Gene

We know nothing of science, let alone the science around the great volcanic eruption in Iceland, so why does it strike us there's a lot of showy handwringing around here? No one wants to prompt an air disaster -- but is it possible the chief headscratchers have been so HYPED UP by THE CATASTROPHE OF GLOBAL WARMING (and no we're not PILLHEADS on the subject) that maybe they overestimate its dangers? Talk of air space being shut off FOREVER (or at least the implication) says just that.

Posted 5:10 PM by Gene

Suleman: Octomom nickname a 'carnival attraction'

We hate to say it but doesn't that go with the circus?

Posted 5:09 PM by Gene

NASDAQ ONE BILLION QUADRILLION KAZILLION!!!!!

P. S. Somebody named Ernst who's looking to appear on the BIG C:

"THEY BEAT EARNINGS BY $1—SO HOW CAN ANYONE SAY THEY ARE HIGHLY VALUED????? I WOULD ARGUE THAT THE STOCK IS INEXPENSIVE ON A GROWTH METRIC!!!!!!!!!!" (Vastly undervalued overemphasis added)

TRANSLATION: For Stevedom it's 1998 all over again.

Posted 5:06 PM by Gene

Con-SER-va-tives have decided the GUVMENT is picking on GUVMENT SACHS, forgetting GUVMENT SACHS was a big beneficiary of taxpayers who aren't in the GUVMENT SACHS percentile. Okay, maybe the timing of that lawsuit was "suspicious" -- but isn't GUVMENT SACHS?

Posted 8:35 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



A drive-in synagogue?

Posted 6:16 PM by Gene

If it's Sunday it must be Big Double-A-Scribble Time:

1. Earth Day Is 4O [SIC!] Years Old. What Headway Have We Made?

Headway enough so MULTINATIONALS can commit treason in a politically correct way.

2. Believe us, CRAINIACS, your industry friends don't have to save the earth to blame the customer.

3. MARKETERS are bringing ads to online bank statements, meaning merely another medium ignored, and another excuse to hike FEES.



4. Part of the problem, YUM RESTAURANTS, is that so many outlets described your new "sandwich" as EW! YUCK!! GROSS!!! it was highly unlikely that many would seek it out -- and besides, the market does seem to be declining for microscopic chicken wings.

5. TRANSLATION: THE MOST TRUSTED CABLE NEWS NETWORK is doing INFOMERCIALS, no news (that's obvious) to anyone who ever saw the late unlamented Lou Dobbs production PINNACLE, or who ever witnessed its show-biz "news", or LARRY KING.

Posted 1:03 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: China is what America was at the turn of the last century. When do these banshee screamers start yelling of manifest destiny?

Posted 12:49 PM by Gene

Last night for the first time in eons I scanned the Branson East chatboards, among the few that are interesting because at least they're plied by some of the leaders in the theme park business (i.e., the circus organizers, the trapeze artists, the concessionaires, the roustabouts), and they were an even more voluble lot than normal these last few nights, saying that Addams Family theme park will make zillions though it stinks, and that Mad Men the Musical theme park will make zillions even though the lead acrobatist is too old, and cringing that only two theme parks may be eligible for the best calliope honor at this year's Branson East Theme Park Awards because no one can write the music for the calliopes anymore, so it might go to that Addams Family theme park by default, and reminding me that the theme park operators now do staging through those come-ons called "overtures", and they even guffawed over that upcoming MORMON theme park until one of them mentioned M----MS, and they were excited because HARRY POTTER!!!!! might appear in a new How to Succeed in Business theme park (meaning he can't sing), and they were excited that this lady who looks like Audrey Hepburn in one of their fun-house mirrors might star in a remake of My Fair Lady (meaning she can't sing), and they said the suckers laugh and applaud at EVERYTHING these days, and even know when they're not supposed to, and they give standing ovations to EVERYTHING, as well they should paying $2000 a head including BUS FARE; and lots of the fans on the chat boards seem to laugh and applaud at EVERYTHING, and give standing ovations to EVERYTHING, though some of them get student ducats; and then they have bouts of temporary insanity over something called a SONDHEIM; but even the in-the-knows seemed a little ticked how that mental-illness theme park won something called a P-ULITZER, which led them to ponder whether an earlier AIDS theme park that also won something called a P-ULITZER deserved it, and all this insider gnashing of teeth reminded me I would not go to Branson East even if I could afford it.