Eugene David ...The One-Minute Pundit |
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED: I know more than you. I make lots more money than you. I'm smarter than you. I'm sexier than you. I appear on TV all the time. I work ten minutes a day. I rule the universe. I'm going to live forever. You are an idiot. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2: A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3: I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity. --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4: News isn't news when we don't report it. PERMALINKS: THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE! Blogroll Me! |
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Posted
9:42 PM
by Gene
WINNING ISN'T EVERYTHING....oh wait. He coached for someone else.
Posted
8:47 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:55 PM
by Gene
Is there oil in Afghanistan too? P. S. at 7:24 p. m. As it happens -- YES.
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2:12 PM
by Gene
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12:59 PM
by Gene
![]() The cover for the TWXSTERS' putative flagship is not that flattering. Perhaps it's just as well. Friday, August 28, 2009
Posted
8:18 PM
by Gene
Look, we know you can't make that big a thing out of it; it would make you look like cheap partisans. But you can't ignore it either as most hacks have done. It was, after all, the reason HE WAS DOOMED NEVER TO BE PRESIDENT.
Posted
7:19 PM
by Gene
![]() A NEUHARTHISM OF ALL TIME AWARD TO GANNETT AND USAOKAY!!!!! P. S. We now learn the picture was taken by the great portrait photographer Yousuf Karsh, the man who pulled the cigar from Churchill's mouth. What did Karsh do to get him to grimace like that? Say his profit margin would go down to 90 percent? One other odd thing: What do the original NEUHARTH and Dennis Kookcinich have in common? (See page 14 of this .pdf file.) Oddly also GanNETt's personal papers are housed at Cornell, in what Freepers must always call THE CITY OF EVIL. The irony is sublime. (Edited 11/17/2009 to reflect that the hacks got more than one set, no doubt)
Posted
5:16 PM
by Gene
![]() The Hungarian exhibit at this Shanghai expo -- OR: COMMUNISM IS BACK!!!!! Hungary inveiled the design for their pavillion for next year’s Shanghai World Expo, designed by Tamás Lévai. Gömböc, as a hungarian invention, is the central element of the exhibition, a two meter high solid plexiglass moving object. What is Gömböc (pronounced as ‘goemboets‘)? [How about gumbo for honorary Cajun country? --ED] ‘Gömböc’ is the first known homogenous object with one stable and one unstable equilibrium point, thus with two equilibria altogether on a horizontal surface. It can be proven that no object with less than two equilibria exists. The discovery of the inaccessible path has led to the idea of GÖMBÖC. The pavilion as wood is intended to represent this path, and since it is of immaterial nature [unless one of those sticks falls down vertically], we are trying to evoke it with non materials: empty space, light and sounds. TRANSLATION: COMMUNISM IS BACK!!!!!
Posted
2:27 PM
by Gene
BWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! (Via Seeking Alpha)
Posted
1:27 PM
by Gene
![]() Speaking of hacks, when a political gofer like Steve lobbies for Mr. Tank to replace Teddy in the Senate, somewhere, Mr. Tank's lobbying.
Posted
1:09 PM
by Gene
Posted
10:24 AM
by Gene
When do news orgs like USAOKAY!!!!! use it to DETERMINE THEIR CONTENTS -- or are they ALREADY DOING SO?
Posted
10:12 AM
by Gene
TRANSLATION: The movee biz is run by seven-year-old boys -- one of whom is named SPIELBERG.
Posted
10:05 AM
by Gene
The bad news: Cable TV's audience is increasingly yet to be born.
Posted
8:53 AM
by Gene
(Via MediaBistro and HENRY HONEST)
Posted
8:51 AM
by Gene
HEY EFFETE EDELSTEIN! DICK "SYNERGY" CORLISS! A. O.! HERE'S A NEW COLLEAGUE!
Posted
8:42 AM
by Gene
Larry Platt knows something about the business: He was appointed Philadelphia's editor in chief in September 2002, and went on to win 16 city and regional magazine awards for the storied title. I know what it means: a lot of insulting puffball articles with ATTITUDE, a lot of showoffy "lifestyle" features, a lot of toadying to advertisers. (Maybe THAT explains why his rags aren't folding.) The moment we stop trusting magazines -- whether it's Larry Platt's empire or Little Malc's -- is the moment they should go out of business -- although by that measure they should have vanished a long time ago. P. S. We just went on one of Larry's Web sites and this is the hard-hitting stuff we found: SURVIVAL OF THE AFFORDABLE Big-ticket Savona changes with the times. THE SECOND ANNUAL COTE CARNIVAL On Sunday, August 23, 2009, Riley Cote of the Philadelphia Flyers hosted the second-annual Cote Carnival for The Multiple Sclerosis Association of America. SEARCH FIVE YEARS OF PHILLY'S BEST! Search the last five years of Best of Philly, including this year's 299 winners in restaurants, shopping, service and more. BEST OF PHILLY SNEAK PEAK: RESTAURANTS We’ve got about 90 food and drink winners in BOP this year. Here’s the first glimpse at 10 of them. ON THE HOMEFRONT: WHALE WATCHING Home editor Lauren McCutcheon fills us in on what she's shopping for right now. EAT SMART: HEALTHY RECIPES FOR LABOR DAY PICNICS Whip up these smart and simple dishes that’ll satisfy guests without adding pounds [SIC] TALK TO US: WHAT ARE YOUR BIG-DAY GLAMOUR PLANS? Check out the work of these six talented local hair and makeup artists to get the inspiration rolling. CLOSE TO THE CHEST Home editor Lauren McCutcheon has got her eye on a special bedroom piece from a local eco-friendly designer. Hey Larry! Since you have this thing against the surely-overpaid head of Philly's public-TV station (nothing about public TV on the home page), we'd like to ask, given these crusading stories, what are you paid? Which gives us a sneaky suggestion: Why couldn't a band of marauding practical jokers invade the local newsstands and take every last blow-in card out of your rags and send them in -- and then cancel their subs? Didn't think you'd like that. ![]() A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO DIRK! Thursday, August 27, 2009
Posted
5:16 PM
by Gene
How long before this has to be torn down because no one wants to live in condos in "dark, two-block-long floors"? Just because something is old and on the National Register of Historic Places doesn't mean it's that good looking. (See, it's not just starchitects.) ![]() Hint hint?
Posted
5:13 PM
by Gene
And how much of that is returns?
Posted
5:00 PM
by Gene
Financial Times launches luxury magazine Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Posted
5:09 PM
by Gene
“[I] suspect that J.P. Morgan Chase’s shareholders now wish that [Madoff] put his deposits in a competitor’s bank,” Mr. Wilson wrote. Knowing Mr. MorganChase's shareholders they're thinking he didn't deposit enough.
Posted
5:05 PM
by Gene
(Via GRATE.com. Currently it's not, but three of the top five search terms are -- never mind.) P. S. at 5:20 p. m. This leads us to reckon that as with the PROFIT CENTER, lots of bad-taste jokes are sprouting on the Web. What the ANDERSONS fail to realize is that the more they detach their coverage from reality, the more bad-taste jokes may spring up.
Posted
4:58 PM
by Gene
![]() The other day we mentioned synagogues that weren't built thanks to the Great Depression, and how they looked like anything. This -- building could be a what? A factory? A library? A research lab? It's a school, actually. Part if the problem with starchitecture is that starchitects are so enamored of themselves they leave no sense of place, and their buildings could be anything.
Posted
4:53 PM
by Gene
A spiritual disciple of Karl-HEINNNNTTTTZ wins the BEST PIC-TYURE OS-CAR®! Well, actually Karl-HEINNNNTTTTZ at least thought it a WUHK of AHT.
Posted
2:57 PM
by Gene
No we will not. PVT. ZELL didn't buy Dem Cubbies; that was earlier management. Had he bought the team it would have looked like an act of business genius (although even then it mightn't have qualified because it was a mere act of SELIGISM, before Bud took over). Now PVT. must sell a valuable franchise because he didn't know his ledger books from a hole in the ground. PVT. ZELL burned money. Even an arsonist wouldn't give him a break. (Via Media Bistro)
Posted
9:35 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:12 AM
by Gene
And I wouldn't use the term too often as PILLHEADS and GLENNS will use it as a PUN, accentuating it with drinking songs and car-crash sound effects. Stay classy, PILLHEADS!
Posted
9:00 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:35 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:20 AM
by Gene
We may safely assume a hack will be appointed in the Bay State; thus has it always been with its politics. By the way, state press, the fact that you'll do the Soviet-Party-Chairman-Has-Died routine makes it all the more likely PILLHEADS and GLENNS and their self-publicizing ilk can spew out their noxious gases.
Posted
8:11 AM
by Gene
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Posted
5:03 PM
by Gene
![]() The visa section of the Swiss Embassy in Beijing? The automotive section of a Kmart!
Posted
1:50 PM
by Gene
How about obsessively excessive info?
Posted
1:26 PM
by Gene
Here is a good debate proposition: It ought to be less embarrassing to have been influenced by Ayn Rand than by Karl Marx. Given some that Ayn Rand's influenced, I wonder.
Posted
1:22 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:12 PM
by Gene
Repulsed enough to give up the oil perks -- or his JOB?
Posted
9:40 AM
by Gene
But isn't it good news anyway?
Posted
8:59 AM
by Gene
But while Holder's move in choosing John Durham to probe agency abuses has roiled the intelligence community and infuriated Republicans on Capitol Hill.... Why is it the hacks' stabs at the truth are almost always unintentional?
Posted
8:30 AM
by Gene
Officials did not detail the effects of the sanctions on the regime. [Fifth graf] NUF SAID. Monday, August 24, 2009
Posted
6:49 PM
by Gene
(Via the usual Romy)
Posted
5:25 PM
by Gene
Isn't it time to give your supersharp brain a rest there, Mike?
Posted
5:19 PM
by Gene
![]() A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO SUPERGANNETTOID TIM! AND NEED WE SAY THE SITE'S HILARIOUS TOO! Now we know why we hate movie ad-blurbists.
Posted
5:01 PM
by Gene
Well! THAT makes up for AIG, Obamamotors, Fannie and Freddie, etc., etc., ETC.
Posted
4:57 PM
by Gene
![]() Keeping in mind this is optimally photographed, we'll admit not EVERYTHING from the starchitect crowd has to be a practical joke.
Posted
4:54 PM
by Gene
Posted
4:49 PM
by Gene
Posted
3:43 PM
by Gene
Who knew The Great Uniter had this in him?
Posted
9:32 AM
by Gene
What is the point of Grate.com?
Posted
8:44 AM
by Gene
(Via the usual Romy, who shook his head so violently you could hear it in Antarctica) Sunday, August 23, 2009
Posted
6:02 PM
by Gene
![]() A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD! P. S. To my two surfers who aren't here looking for PR0N pictures or pictures of sexy fat women in bikinis, this is Frank GanNETt. As in AL. We were getting tired of searching for unflattering pictures of SOB, and besides, looking at this guy, we can truly behold he was his REAL inspiration. We can see him now, his face matching the end of his cigar, his voice graveling gravel, and yelling: WHAT? You didn't run a show-biz blurb on the front page today? YOU'RE FIRED! WHAT? Our profit margin's only fifty percent?!? YOU'RE FIRED! WHAT? You offended a Realtor? YOU'RE FIRED! WHAT? You TOLD THE TRUTH?!?!? YOU'RE FIRED! Now maybe Frank was a nice, sweet guy, but usually nice, sweet guys don't look like someone who's had fifty people for breakfast. So we will still celebrate NEUHARTHISMS OF THE WEEK -- with THE ORIGINAL NEUHARTH. P. S. He ran for president as a Republican. NUF SAID. P. P. S. We wonder when con-SER-va-tives claim him as one of their own. After all, he ran against the DEMOCRAT candidate Wendell Willkie. Also, Henry Luce invented the "accent on NET" line (but flubbed the dub using two T's). From one tyrannical media mogul to another....
Posted
6:00 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:21 PM
by Gene
![]() In a magazine we'd never heard of until we happened on this piece about Leonard Bernstein -- is TNR starting to use others as crutches? -- Diana Muir Appelbaum offers a testimony to the catastrophe the Great Depression proved for our culture, not least in architecture. The Temple Israel in Boston would have been a fine addition to any city. We wonder indeed that builders don't dust off old plans rather than paying the HIP! hacks who get themselves posted in ARCHDaily! for buildings that leak, or rot, and that rot in any case. ![]() But look at these designs for the Union Temple in Brooklyn. By including these our author unintentionally highlights what's wrong with current Judaism. Doesn't the picture on the left suggest a bank of the era? And the one on the right a downtown train station? Come to think of it that other building could have been a fine university library. Banks, train stations, libraries -- a synagogue can be anything, and perhaps that's the problem with Judaism.
Posted
9:57 AM
by Gene
David J. Rothkopf is currently CEO of Intellibridge. He joined Intellibridge following two years (1996-1998) as Managing Director of Kissinger Associates, Inc. Rothkopf was also "co-founder and president of The Newmarket Company LLC. He has served as an adjunct professor at Columbia University's School of International and Public Affairs and at the Georgetown School of Foreign Service." [1] "Immediately prior to joining Kissinger Associates, Rothkopf served as Acting Under Secretary of Commerce for International Trade, where he led the U.S. Department of Commerce's International Trade Administration. While at Commerce, he developed and chaired the Administration's Big Emerging Markets Initiative, a program cited by President William Jefferson Clinton as among the U.S. government's most important foreign policy priorities. The program focused Commerce Department and other U.S. government resources on developing and enhancing trading relationships with ten of the fastest growing markets in the world (including China, India, ASEAN, South Korea, Mexico, Argentina, Brazil, South Africa, Poland and Turkey)." [2] "Rothkopf has written extensively on international trade and prior to joining the government, held a variety of senior positions in the private sector, including chairman and ceo of International Media Partners. His book, The Price of Peace: Emergency Economic Intervention and U.S. Foreign Policy, was published by the Carnegie Endowment in May 1998."[3] "Rothkopf holds a B.A. from Columbia College and attended the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism."[4] "David J. Rothkopf, is chairman and ceo of The Rothkopf Group, which specializes in providing high-level advisory and consulting services on international themes for corporations and governments worldwide. Additionally, Mr. Rothkopf serves as President and CEO of Garten Rothkopf, LLC, an international advisory firm specializing in emerging markets investing and risk management related services. The special focus of the company is enhancing market value of a select group of companies the firm has identified as the rising stars of the emerging world. Mr. Rothkopf has had a distinguished career in business, government and the media and is well-known as an expert on international affairs, international economics and international security issues. He is the co-founder and former ceo of two companies: International Media Partners (publishers of CEO Magazine and Emerging Markets Newspapers, of which he was also editor) and Intellibridge Corporation (pioneer in the field of open-source intelligence gathering and analysis). "Mr. Rothkopf is also a visiting scholar at the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace where he has recently completed his most recent book, entitled Running the World: The Inside Story of the National Security Council and the Architects of American Power, a behind-the-scenes history of how foreign policy is made in the White House. He has now begun work on his next book, The Superclass, due out in 2008 from Farrar, Straus & Giroux, which will look at global elites and how they are shaping globalization and being shaped by it. Additionally, at Carnegie, Mr. Rothkopf chairs the Carnegie Economic Strategy Roundtable as well as studies focusing on America's role in the world. He also serves as he has for the past 3 years as chairman of the National Strategic Investment Dialogue, an organization of leading institutional investors from across the US. He is also an adjunct professor of international affairs at Columbia University's School of International and Public Affairs. "Mr. Rothkopf served as Deputy Under Secretary of Commerce of the U.S. for International Trade during the first Clinton Administration and concluded his term in the government with an extended period serving as Acting Under Secretary of Commerce for International Trade where he directed the activities of the International Trade Administration. Subsequently, he served in the private sector as Managing Director of Kissinger Associates, the consulting firm chaired by former U.S. Secretary of State Henry A. Kissinger. After Kissinger and Associates, Mr. Rothkopf was chairman, ceo and co-founder of Intellibridge Corporation, a leading provider of international analysis and open-source intelligence for the U.S. national security community and selected corporations. "Mr. Rothkopf is the author of over 150 articles on international economic and security themes and is the author, co-author or editor of five books. His articles have appeared in The New York Times, the Washington Post, the Financial Times, the International Herald Tribune, USA Today, the Los Angeles Times, the Miami Herald, the Philadelphia Inquirer, Foreign Affairs, Foreign Policy, International Economy, Blueprint, and many other publications. He has taught or lectured at over a dozen universities. He has also appeared often as a commentator on international issues on both television and radio. "Mr. Rothkopf also speaks worldwide and is well-known as an event moderator and conductor of scenario exercises. He is a member of the Chairman's Advisory Council at the U.S. Institute of Peace, the Health Advisory Board of the Johns Hopkins/Bloomberg School of Public Health, and of the Center for Global Development. He was educated at Columbia College of Columbia University." [5] Multiply this by hundreds and you can gather why our foreign policy is so screwed up. Doc-TOR Rothkopf has added to his résumé with an article saying that Hillary is a GREAT secretary of state -- but he's careful not to say how, except that she's appointed all the right people. With CV padding like this on all sides incompetence at State is a given.
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