THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Saturday, June 30, 2007
While we worry about eighty-something caucasian females with water bottles at our airports, the Afghans at least have their heads screwed on right:
In Kabul, the burial of a suicide bomber occurs at a secret time in a secret place, the forgettable end to what most here consider an unforgivable act.
You don't suppose our new friends the Iranians are behind these unforgivable acts, could you now?
In Kabul, the burial of a suicide bomber occurs at a secret time in a secret place, the forgettable end to what most here consider an unforgivable act.
You don't suppose our new friends the Iranians are behind these unforgivable acts, could you now?
America's leading health experts, who moonlight as movie ad-blurbists, have not given their expected unanimous thumbs-up to Fatso's latest muckraking. One wonders if it had to do with the noble and righteous campaign contributions of Mistuh Den-BEH and Mistuh Lahr-SON. (Indeed Mistuh Den-BEH seems to have engaged in -- a little self-CENSORSHIP?) To see a story like this, therefore, is somewhat disconcerting, as we don't expect it.
Oh, now it's the ESKIMOS. It has all their earmarks.
The British political establishment must resemble a pretzel. How can it do anything without being -- judgmental?
Perhaps if one of the parties was smoking....
The British political establishment must resemble a pretzel. How can it do anything without being -- judgmental?
Perhaps if one of the parties was smoking....
Someone (we know not who) fires a sidekick of a virtual radio host named for the late Harold Stein [sp?], and DA POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! reports on it.
While this is not the equivalent of PEOPLE WARNER and its profit center Larry, it's in the same boat.
While this is not the equivalent of PEOPLE WARNER and its profit center Larry, it's in the same boat.
Face it, our atom-bombing of Japan will never be politically correct.
And why does USAOKAY!!!!!.com peg this under "Life in Iraq, Iraq Casualties"?
And why does USAOKAY!!!!!.com peg this under "Life in Iraq, Iraq Casualties"?
Friday, June 29, 2007
Excuses, excuses:
What has tilted Jones, already suspended for the upcoming NFL season because of his off-the-field troubles, to the edge of career suicide?
"Money," said Tony Douglas, Jones' youth football coach at Sandtown Park in southwest Atlanta. "It seems like it all stems from money. I mean, he had nothing growing up — nothing — and suddenly there's millions of dollars. I think it's been hard for him to handle."
Give me millions of dollars and I might not find it too hard to handle.
What has tilted Jones, already suspended for the upcoming NFL season because of his off-the-field troubles, to the edge of career suicide?
"Money," said Tony Douglas, Jones' youth football coach at Sandtown Park in southwest Atlanta. "It seems like it all stems from money. I mean, he had nothing growing up — nothing — and suddenly there's millions of dollars. I think it's been hard for him to handle."
Give me millions of dollars and I might not find it too hard to handle.
Our beloved and happily outgoing may-ER got himself an iPHONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, but one of the locals wasn't that impressed:
He left his spot around 11:30 a.m., soon after a 22-year-old man sporting a mohawk asked him, "How can you sit here with 200 murders in the city already?"
The mayor replied: "I'm doing my job."
Sitting on his duff, waiting for a gadget -- doing his job indeed.
He left his spot around 11:30 a.m., soon after a 22-year-old man sporting a mohawk asked him, "How can you sit here with 200 murders in the city already?"
The mayor replied: "I'm doing my job."
Sitting on his duff, waiting for a gadget -- doing his job indeed.
Last night the House of Ill Repute had the guts to turn down the Fairness Doctrine Redux -- and the Dems had an instant excuse:
Democrats admitted that while they had some concern about the issue of balance in talk radio, there were no plans to resurrect the fairness doctrine and that Republicans were simply pandering to conservative talk-show hosts.
And who do you pander to?
Democrats admitted that while they had some concern about the issue of balance in talk radio, there were no plans to resurrect the fairness doctrine and that Republicans were simply pandering to conservative talk-show hosts.
And who do you pander to?
Lisa Nowak's attorney Donald Lykkebak scolded the media today for treating his client's case as entertainment.
When your client is alleged to have worn adult diapers how can you not?
When your client is alleged to have worn adult diapers how can you not?
Somebody finally has the guts to attack the pablum that goes for sacred music these days. If you want a real reason why such music stinks, you can do no better than two names: Ralph Carmichael and Debby Boone.
America's WORST Magazine, Reader's Digest (yes, Reader's Digest) is about to put ads on its back cover, and...
Publisher Eva Dillon said that extensive research was done about the back cover and, though they believed readers would have a strong negative reaction, readers actually didn't seem to care one way or another.
That wouldn't reflect on your rag, would it? Naaaah.
Publisher Eva Dillon said that extensive research was done about the back cover and, though they believed readers would have a strong negative reaction, readers actually didn't seem to care one way or another.
That wouldn't reflect on your rag, would it? Naaaah.
Surprise: The Brits are looking for three men who are -- BUDDHISTS!
Possible let's-see-if-we-can-spin-this-story hook: The bombs were similar to those used by "insurgents" in Iraq. Ta-DA!!!!! DUBYA'S TO BLAME!!!!!!!!!!
Possible let's-see-if-we-can-spin-this-story hook: The bombs were similar to those used by "insurgents" in Iraq. Ta-DA!!!!! DUBYA'S TO BLAME!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Wrestler altered his Wikipedia entry (!) due to "his wife's death", and he may have been drunk at the time.
With Vince's boys one can't discount the notion this was a stunt gone horribly wrong, but I doubt it, as it sounds like a case of OJ boasting.
The noxious stench of this case gets stronger.
(Link changed from earlier citation of Yahoo! News story)
With Vince's boys one can't discount the notion this was a stunt gone horribly wrong, but I doubt it, as it sounds like a case of OJ boasting.
The noxious stench of this case gets stronger.
(Link changed from earlier citation of Yahoo! News story)
Bald eagle comes off the endangered list; Defense Department takes credit
I thought they only killed things!
I thought they only killed things!
Rumbling on the Right
Chuck Hagel's antiwar stance could make him a serious Republican candidate for the White House in 2008. But it's causing him headaches back home.
As well it should, being he's Honorary Mayor Mike's likely VEEP.
Chuck Hagel's antiwar stance could make him a serious Republican candidate for the White House in 2008. But it's causing him headaches back home.
As well it should, being he's Honorary Mayor Mike's likely VEEP.
But con-SER-va-tives will demonstrate their own intransigence; the Nine Fingers' split decision to knock down a part of anti-trust law limiting price collusion inevitably smells of the right's hero-worship of the rich, whatever the legal gobbledygook justifying it. Fortunately on a Nine Finger's salary he doesn't have to worry about prices, much.
Today should be the last day for Supreme Court opinions this term.
Thank GOD!
Today should be the last day for Supreme Court opinions this term.
Thank GOD!
Live and learn II:
Report: Alcohol Companies Stingy With Responsibility Ad Dollars
What marketer spends money to unmarket his product -- especially to those in the prime liquor-guzzling age?
Report: Alcohol Companies Stingy With Responsibility Ad Dollars
What marketer spends money to unmarket his product -- especially to those in the prime liquor-guzzling age?
The fight to fight the new Fairness Doctrine is on!
Not that it has much of chance, as B&C says, but the Dems are in a censoring mood.
Not that it has much of chance, as B&C says, but the Dems are in a censoring mood.
Yes, it would seem that banishment from the medical biz would be a proper punishment for Wrestler's "docs", but I wouldn't count on it. One thing's sure: there are too many types who'd have given drugs to Elvis.
There is, of course, an answer to the righteous and noble walkout today by the JOURNALSISTS: a riot of Dow Jones shareholders when the Bancrofts turn SLIME down.
Don't do it, Bannies!
Don't do it, Bannies!
Live and learn: Don't ever talk to yourself while on the phone with an automated customer service system or you'll cause it to reset.
Who invented such systems? Eavesdroppers?
Who invented such systems? Eavesdroppers?
The Wall Street Journal's long tradition of independence, which has been the hallmark of our news coverage for decades, is threatened today by a force of EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. [Words and emphasis added]
You've got me thinking SLIME can't fire some of you FAST ENOUGH.
You've got me thinking SLIME can't fire some of you FAST ENOUGH.
Morality is a private and costly luxury.
--Henry Adams
Do you suppose there's a reason this appeared on your Web site today, Little Malcolm? Hinthint?
--Henry Adams
Do you suppose there's a reason this appeared on your Web site today, Little Malcolm? Hinthint?
Say, if Dow 36,000 hasn't come up with a solution to the immigration problem: birth control! See, Mexicans are having fewer babies, and all throughout Latin America "[b]etter education and improved job opportunities for women" -- not to mention liberalized abortion -- are causing people to have fewer babies, meaning far fewer millions to stampede our borders looking for work! Which means amnesty's okay after all!
Why doesn't Dow go back to counting the points to his 36,000?
Why doesn't Dow go back to counting the points to his 36,000?
Dubya and Belly Kisser are confabbing at Papa's digs, meaning nothing will get done.
Well, one thing: Papa can boast about it in all the speeches he makes.
Well, one thing: Papa can boast about it in all the speeches he makes.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Wrestler's son was mentally retarded -- another reason to treat him to a chokehold.
Sounds more and more too as though wrestler was a steroid junkie, which of course justifies treating your mentally retarded son to a chokehold.
If Vince McMahon had blown up pro wrestling along with his car the world would have saluted him.
Sounds more and more too as though wrestler was a steroid junkie, which of course justifies treating your mentally retarded son to a chokehold.
If Vince McMahon had blown up pro wrestling along with his car the world would have saluted him.
Concerned about a "lack of production" pulling in donations toward the 2008 Republican National Convention, Gov. Tim Pawlenty and his allies hoped an intimate appeal to high-level business executives at the stately governor's mansion would shake loose more cash.
"We're looking for each Fortune 500 company headquartered in Minnesota to give at least $1 million; and some of you will be able to be far more generous than that," read Pawlenty's talking points for the June 6 meeting.
Leaders of companies outside that elite club got a pitch for $250,000 to $500,000 contributions, according to documents obtained by the Associated Press under a government records request.
Aw shucks, you're a piker, Gov. If The Great Alaskan Boar and Sen. Train to Nowhere had been there they could have lined the Twin Cities' streets with GOLD.
"We're looking for each Fortune 500 company headquartered in Minnesota to give at least $1 million; and some of you will be able to be far more generous than that," read Pawlenty's talking points for the June 6 meeting.
Leaders of companies outside that elite club got a pitch for $250,000 to $500,000 contributions, according to documents obtained by the Associated Press under a government records request.
Aw shucks, you're a piker, Gov. If The Great Alaskan Boar and Sen. Train to Nowhere had been there they could have lined the Twin Cities' streets with GOLD.
Isn't it a little late in the day to get upset that we tried to poison Fidel? For one thing, look what a great job he's done with Cuba.
Someone named Andrew Keen has written a book, and he sighs:
“It’s creating an increasingly inane and trivialized culture....One imaginary dystopia is that in 25 or 50 years, there will be no mainstream media. There’s nothing inevitable about Hollywood. There’s nothing inevitable about the music industry. The replacement for mainstream media is Twitter, it’s YouTube, it’s Wikipedia … If you read it on the Internet, it likely isn’t true.”
Valid enough, yet we must confess the culture couldn't have devalued itself without the past fifty years of decline, and if the Web churns out tons of "increasingly inane and trivialized culture" it's only a broader reflection of the top-down culture around it. The sci-fi phreaks, the horror-porn ghouls, the rock and TV-series worshippers, the schlock-cult obsessive compulsives and anal retentives -- none of these would have been if the boys way up there hadn't churned out the stuff for years -- and a gotten a public increasingly distant from standards and taste to like it.
(Via IWantMedia)
“It’s creating an increasingly inane and trivialized culture....One imaginary dystopia is that in 25 or 50 years, there will be no mainstream media. There’s nothing inevitable about Hollywood. There’s nothing inevitable about the music industry. The replacement for mainstream media is Twitter, it’s YouTube, it’s Wikipedia … If you read it on the Internet, it likely isn’t true.”
Valid enough, yet we must confess the culture couldn't have devalued itself without the past fifty years of decline, and if the Web churns out tons of "increasingly inane and trivialized culture" it's only a broader reflection of the top-down culture around it. The sci-fi phreaks, the horror-porn ghouls, the rock and TV-series worshippers, the schlock-cult obsessive compulsives and anal retentives -- none of these would have been if the boys way up there hadn't churned out the stuff for years -- and a gotten a public increasingly distant from standards and taste to like it.
(Via IWantMedia)
We wonder why Dubya continues to push this. Is it his own personal Profile in Courage? Has something in him convinced him that this must be his Statement for History, much as Gerald Ford convinced himself with Tricky Dick? Is it cheap politics? Is he doing it just because he doesn't know any better?
Who'll wager it's the last one?
Who'll wager it's the last one?
Why are all Indian customer-"service" reps specifically trained to say OW-kay?
A big day at a LEGENDARY ad-trade journal:
Geico's Big Spending Pays Off, Study Says
Does that include all those thousands of mailings I trash because ST. WARREN doesn't know I don't own a car?
U.S. Ad-Spending Growth Slows Way Down
Which still means that nearly $300 BILLION of OUR money is being burned on crappy TV and junk rags.
Time Inc. Hopes to Prove Value of Its Brands Online
If it put out decent rags it wouldn't have to worry about its "BRANDS."
GM's 'Transformers' Tie-In Extends Beyond Big Screen
TRANSLATION: Now we REALLY get to schmooze!
Geico's Big Spending Pays Off, Study Says
Does that include all those thousands of mailings I trash because ST. WARREN doesn't know I don't own a car?
U.S. Ad-Spending Growth Slows Way Down
Which still means that nearly $300 BILLION of OUR money is being burned on crappy TV and junk rags.
Time Inc. Hopes to Prove Value of Its Brands Online
If it put out decent rags it wouldn't have to worry about its "BRANDS."
GM's 'Transformers' Tie-In Extends Beyond Big Screen
TRANSLATION: Now we REALLY get to schmooze!
In rummaging through a story on ASSPress's site we came across this:
President Vladimir Putin said Thursday no one should try to make Russia feel guilty about the Great Purge of 1937, saying it may have been one of the most notorious episodes of the Stalin era but "in other countries even worse things happened."...
Speaking with the teachers, Putin suggested the United States' use of atomic weapons against Japan at the end of World War II was worse than the abuses of Stalin. He also cited the U.S. bombing campaign and use the defoliant Agent Orange during the Vietnam War.
We also came across this:
Kremlin Powers May Be Split After Putin
...which suggests the faint hopeful possibility that Belly Kisser's successors won't be quite the law-abiding tyrants he is -- unless, of course, he becomes President for Life in a manufactured crisis.
President Vladimir Putin said Thursday no one should try to make Russia feel guilty about the Great Purge of 1937, saying it may have been one of the most notorious episodes of the Stalin era but "in other countries even worse things happened."...
Speaking with the teachers, Putin suggested the United States' use of atomic weapons against Japan at the end of World War II was worse than the abuses of Stalin. He also cited the U.S. bombing campaign and use the defoliant Agent Orange during the Vietnam War.
We also came across this:
Kremlin Powers May Be Split After Putin
...which suggests the faint hopeful possibility that Belly Kisser's successors won't be quite the law-abiding tyrants he is -- unless, of course, he becomes President for Life in a manufactured crisis.
We see Stale.com's been rooting around the recycle bin looking for another writer.
Really guys, if you're looking for someone with "blogspot.com" in his url, there's always me. Fat chance.
Lately, I've had action heroes on the brain: John McClane, Indiana Jones, Republicans.
Of course, the heroic comportment of the Bush administration and the Republican candidates shares something fundamental with the heroism of our big-screen tough-guys: it is totally fictional.
TRANSLATION: The ACTION-MOVIE JO-NAH of the LEFT! DOWN WITH JO-NAHS!
Really guys, if you're looking for someone with "blogspot.com" in his url, there's always me. Fat chance.
Lately, I've had action heroes on the brain: John McClane, Indiana Jones, Republicans.
Of course, the heroic comportment of the Bush administration and the Republican candidates shares something fundamental with the heroism of our big-screen tough-guys: it is totally fictional.
TRANSLATION: The ACTION-MOVIE JO-NAH of the LEFT! DOWN WITH JO-NAHS!
DA: Wrestler's Son May Have Died in Chokehold
I don't care if he had "roid rage." What earthly excuse is there for this?
I don't care if he had "roid rage." What earthly excuse is there for this?
Another potential MASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTERWUHK for Branson East:
One of the hits of last summer’s New York Intl. Fringe Festival, the musical political satire “Walmartopia,” will have a commercial run, opening Sept. 3 at Off Broadway’s Minetta Lane Theater.
With a book by Catherine Capellaro and music and lyrics by Andrew Rohn, the show skewers the world’s largest company via the vicissitudes of a single mom and Wal-Mart employee, who speaks out against working conditions and ends up transported with her daughter to 2036, when Wal-Mart rules the planet.
George S. Kaufman once said satire is what closes on Saturday night. In the modern Branson East what closes Saturday night actually closed ten years ago.
One of the hits of last summer’s New York Intl. Fringe Festival, the musical political satire “Walmartopia,” will have a commercial run, opening Sept. 3 at Off Broadway’s Minetta Lane Theater.
With a book by Catherine Capellaro and music and lyrics by Andrew Rohn, the show skewers the world’s largest company via the vicissitudes of a single mom and Wal-Mart employee, who speaks out against working conditions and ends up transported with her daughter to 2036, when Wal-Mart rules the planet.
George S. Kaufman once said satire is what closes on Saturday night. In the modern Branson East what closes Saturday night actually closed ten years ago.
"The Bancrofts are about to make a pact with -- THE DEVILLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!" [Overemphasis added]
If you idiots want to accelerate your decline you will keep talking about this force of EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL, you will keep talking after you've subjected us to PARIS for only the last ten years, you will keep talking after The Mess of all people disclosed your CAMPAIGN CONTRIBUTIONS, you will keep talking because otherwise YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY.
If you idiots want to accelerate your decline you will keep talking about this force of EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL, you will keep talking after you've subjected us to PARIS for only the last ten years, you will keep talking after The Mess of all people disclosed your CAMPAIGN CONTRIBUTIONS, you will keep talking because otherwise YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY.
...a New York Times/CBS News/MTV poll...
A PINCH/SUMNER POLL....
These guys still think they win all the time. Sorry. Now you win only 98 percent of the time.
A PINCH/SUMNER POLL....
These guys still think they win all the time. Sorry. Now you win only 98 percent of the time.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
One reason I don't follow $eligi$m is that the current crop of announcers sounds as if it trained with the sound off for thirty years. Harry Kalas reminds us of when people still cared for the game, and the announcers. That so many no longer care for the sport of asterisks is because they may no longer care for the announcers.
ExxonMobil, ConocoPhillips refuse to sign Venezuela deals
Who would have thought BIG OIL would show more spunk than the Dalai Lamas of Mountain View, or Mr. Human Rights?
Who would have thought BIG OIL would show more spunk than the Dalai Lamas of Mountain View, or Mr. Human Rights?
More of that famous un-CW Stale.com insight:
Are Polls Undercounting Ron Paul's Supporters? [Home-page tease]
Are Polls Undercounting Ron Paul's Supporters? [Home-page tease]
This doesn't even qualify as daydreaming. Sally forgets a man who views himself as the ultimate lobbyist will not give up his post or his perks, and if Dubya won't fire AG Cipher what is the chance of him parting from his marionettist? Yes, just because an author has a BIG NAME doesn't guarantee he won't have little sense.
OOOOOoooooh, an MP quits the Tories for Labour -- because they "stand for nothing"?
1. Someone finally noticed; and 2. What's the difference?
1. Someone finally noticed; and 2. What's the difference?
How many saw this story and assumed it was a joke? And when we assume a possible suicide-double-murder is a joke does that say that our media betters have gone too far with their mind games?
Monday, June 25, 2007
Earlier from the ASSPress:
A jockey who kicked his horse in the stomach before a race was suspended for 30 days and fined $1,000 by Philadelphia Park officials on Monday.
A simple question: Why didn't the horse kick back?
A jockey who kicked his horse in the stomach before a race was suspended for 30 days and fined $1,000 by Philadelphia Park officials on Monday.
A simple question: Why didn't the horse kick back?
What is the difference between FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NEWS and PNN? They're both third-rate news outfits. They both created huge gobs of air time to fill so they could fill it in the worst way, with the video version of navel staring. They both have the most risible personalities -- Larry the Softball, the No-Spin Spin Spin Spin Spin Spin Spin Spin Zone. They've both given the word pundit a bad name. They're both obsessed with celebrities to the point it's damaged their reputations -- such as they ever had. They've both been run by respective partisan charlatans -- Rick Kaplan, Roger Ailes. They both were founded and owned by zillionaire bullies -- MOUTH, SLIME. So what's the difference?
There is no difference, except that FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NEWS is biased in an unacceptable way, and PNN is biased in an acceptable way. Really Scott, we don't want to hear these pinhead debates about the pinhead cable news networks.
There is no difference, except that FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NEWS is biased in an unacceptable way, and PNN is biased in an acceptable way. Really Scott, we don't want to hear these pinhead debates about the pinhead cable news networks.
One wants to feel sorry for the union workers who are about to lose a big pot of layoff gold, and then you remember Johnny Cash and "One Piece at a Time", and you think, this sort of largesse never made sense.
Compact Disc's Outlook Worsens
...and no, despite the best hopes of news hacks, who want to believe, downloads aren't substituting:
Greenfield and Smaldon said they expect U.S. unit sales of digital music to grow 28% in 2008, slowing from projected growth of 47% this year. However, rapid growth in digital sales will still fall short of making up for the decline in CD sales.
As a result, the Pali analysts expect total U.S. unit sales of recorded music to decline about 9% in both 2007 and 2008. [Emphasis added]
This is all one word: [C]RAP. [C]RAP has come to define the recorded-sound biz in the public imagination, and the public doesn't want to imagine. And [C]RAP has no melody, and where there is no melody, there is no music. The other pop...SOUND jean-RUHS follow in line; words like alternative, industrial, grunge, punk -- they're just another word for tuneless. There is nothing new to listen to. This is excellent news in the short run as it will put many of the disgorgers of this sonic bilge water out of business. It is a calamity as far as the ear can hear.
...and no, despite the best hopes of news hacks, who want to believe, downloads aren't substituting:
Greenfield and Smaldon said they expect U.S. unit sales of digital music to grow 28% in 2008, slowing from projected growth of 47% this year. However, rapid growth in digital sales will still fall short of making up for the decline in CD sales.
As a result, the Pali analysts expect total U.S. unit sales of recorded music to decline about 9% in both 2007 and 2008. [Emphasis added]
This is all one word: [C]RAP. [C]RAP has come to define the recorded-sound biz in the public imagination, and the public doesn't want to imagine. And [C]RAP has no melody, and where there is no melody, there is no music. The other pop...SOUND jean-RUHS follow in line; words like alternative, industrial, grunge, punk -- they're just another word for tuneless. There is nothing new to listen to. This is excellent news in the short run as it will put many of the disgorgers of this sonic bilge water out of business. It is a calamity as far as the ear can hear.
We get it too: Some SENIOR CLUNKER BROTHER execs paid gazillions to Tiger, Kelly and Jimmy so they wouldn't stop boasting, or humiliating their subordinates -- and also so they wouldn't have to spend time and money thinking up cars people will BUY. Sorry G. WE GET IT TOO.
P. S. to Jerry "Sieg Heil" Yang on 7/13/2008 at 8:00 p.m.: Hey Jerr, why can I pull up THIS one?
And in Branson East, Mr. Sorkin, the creator of the brilliant smash hit EINSTEIN, and backed by Luke Spielberg, is ready to do a play about who lost television.
If EINSTEIN was a lecture this will be a Ph.D. program.
If EINSTEIN was a lecture this will be a Ph.D. program.
Another upcoming masterwork: the folks at ESPNCorp Animation are so confident about their latest computer animation morale's going through the floor!
Haven't they remade Toy Story once too often?
And has Jim Hill (whoever he is) written too many words?
(Via ShowBizData)
Haven't they remade Toy Story once too often?
And has Jim Hill (whoever he is) written too many words?
(Via ShowBizData)
Brett Ratner to direct 'Playboy'
Filmmaker set for bio on Hugh Hefner
1. A whitewash; 2. A PC whitewash; 3. A CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED PC whitewash; 4. An ACADEMY AWARD®-WINNING CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED PC whitewash.
(Via IWantMedia)
Filmmaker set for bio on Hugh Hefner
1. A whitewash; 2. A PC whitewash; 3. A CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED PC whitewash; 4. An ACADEMY AWARD®-WINNING CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED PC whitewash.
(Via IWantMedia)
The Nine Fingers rule against bong hits on T-shirts in high schools!
Where would we be without 'em? (The Nine Fingers, that is.)
Where would we be without 'em? (The Nine Fingers, that is.)
Sunday, June 24, 2007
I'd guess I've bought CDs from perhaps a dozen shops (brick-and-mortar or Web) that have gone out of business. Music retailing is so afflicted by low margins it's hard to see how anyone can make money except on sheer force of volume, and the big-box chains sell their goods as loss leaders. Now comes word that Footlight.com is closing. I'd just started purchasing from them -- they've had pretty decent sales -- and they were good for the kind of specialty recordings impossible to find elsewhere (and that probably should be): foreign cast albums and soundtracks and vocalists. While my checking account is happy no one else can be at the disappearance of sellers who've given recorded music some semblance of diversity, and each Footlight.com that closes condemns us to a future of pablum, sold out of a box, one way or another.
Cigarette media spending totaled just $56 million in 2005, down 94% from its 1985 peak of $932 million, according to an Ad Age DataCenter analysis of Federal Trade Commission data. There's still plenty of marketing spending behind the products: The FTC said cigarette makers in 2005 spent $13.1 billion on U.S. "advertising and promotions" -- but the vast majority of that went to in-store trade and consumer price-promotion offers. [Emphasis added]
And cigarettes still sell, in spite of all, proving the utter waste of money that is advertising.
And cigarettes still sell, in spite of all, proving the utter waste of money that is advertising.
And as PAUL DRECK prays for next weekend to be better -- and his prayer will probably be answered, as he prays to...well, we won't guess to whom he prays, but we think his god may reside under the earth's crust -- another Big V hack points to the future of fillum, whatever future that is:
There's no longer any question whether special effects can be made more realistic: The issue is whether disposable actors can be trained to play better with bluescreens.
We're not sure what our scribbler means by "disposable actors", but we think he means flesh-and-blood types. But then the whole biz is heading toward a time when flesh-and-blood actors will be superfluous, an apt future for a business that has pretty well become superfluous, blue screens or no.
The premise for these fights hasn't moved beyond 1925's "The Lost World"....
TRANSLATION: SUMNER'S MADE AN 82-YEAR-OLD CGI MOVIE!
There's no longer any question whether special effects can be made more realistic: The issue is whether disposable actors can be trained to play better with bluescreens.
We're not sure what our scribbler means by "disposable actors", but we think he means flesh-and-blood types. But then the whole biz is heading toward a time when flesh-and-blood actors will be superfluous, an apt future for a business that has pretty well become superfluous, blue screens or no.
The premise for these fights hasn't moved beyond 1925's "The Lost World"....
TRANSLATION: SUMNER'S MADE AN 82-YEAR-OLD CGI MOVIE!
Tony Blair says he has handed control of Britain's governing Labour party to Gordon Brown.
WATCH THE DOOR ON THE...never mind.
WATCH THE DOOR ON THE...never mind.
The Jeanne d'Arc of Prison and LARRY KING -- a marriage made somewhere beneath Hell.
"Paris will not be paid a dime for the interview," Us Weekly magazine quoted a CNN source as saying.
TRANSLATION: PEOPLE WARNER'S PAYING FOR IT -- SOMEHOW.
"Paris will not be paid a dime for the interview," Us Weekly magazine quoted a CNN source as saying.
TRANSLATION: PEOPLE WARNER'S PAYING FOR IT -- SOMEHOW.
The real question is, how can Hamas have peace with Israel and annihilate it at the same time? This is a question Hamas may want to refuse to answer.
Meantime, will PEOPLE WARNER ever stop churning out STROBE TALBOTTS?
Meantime, will PEOPLE WARNER ever stop churning out STROBE TALBOTTS?
Has any rag ever managed to put out as many scribblers who sound as coyly cloyingly alike as The Paper of Re-CORD has? Today Chris puts his fist in the air for "rock" in musicals, conceding that it hasn't very often worked, and further conceding, "My immersion in contemporary rock and pop ended some time ago now...." So you're as much an old fogey as the expense accounters! Honest Chris, has anyone really cared what goes on the Branson East stage so long as we have bodies in the seats? Elsewhere Denny worships a porno -- an aht-house ac-TRESS (pardon us; ac-TOR, ac-TOR, always thus in the PINCHIAN precincts) whose oeuvre includes "storm[ing] a strip-club stage, pet Rottweiler in tow, and proceed[ing] to entwine tongues with the slobbering dog." Really, you couldn't make up The Paper of Re-CORD if you tried -- and PINCH has been trying since before JAYSON.
The man who did such a masterful job exterminating Kurds has gotten his rich reward.
Of course that isn't nearly as many deaths as EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL DUBYA has...is there any reasoning with people like that?
Of course that isn't nearly as many deaths as EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL DUBYA has...is there any reasoning with people like that?
LIAR LIAR BROCK'S ON FIRE may want to explain why, if America's become so gung-ho ultra-lib...PROGRESSIVE why AMNESTY has fired up the right in the grass roots. Oh, we know, it's all those NAZIS on talk radio. They'll do whatever they say. THAT'S the explanation. As if you don't have your PINCHIAN sycophants.
Addressing the 50th anniversary convention of his own denomination, the United Church of Christ, Senator Barack Obama of Illinois said Saturday that the religious right had “hijacked” faith and divided the country by exploiting issues like abortion, same-sex marriage and school prayer.
But Mr. Obama said that religion has a rightful role to play in American politics, and he praised people of faith who he said are now using their influence to try to unite Americans against problems like poverty, AIDS, the health care crisis and the violence in Darfur.
TRANSLATION: 1. We should ignore conservative moral issues in favor of feel-good liberal topics where we can platitudinize to our heart's content; 2. We want the left to do what the right is doing. What cynicism. We hardly expected this from JFK Lincoln. Or didn't we?
But Mr. Obama said that religion has a rightful role to play in American politics, and he praised people of faith who he said are now using their influence to try to unite Americans against problems like poverty, AIDS, the health care crisis and the violence in Darfur.
TRANSLATION: 1. We should ignore conservative moral issues in favor of feel-good liberal topics where we can platitudinize to our heart's content; 2. We want the left to do what the right is doing. What cynicism. We hardly expected this from JFK Lincoln. Or didn't we?