THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
Blogroll Me!
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Saturday, April 23, 2005
One of the very irritating things about Forbes is the way it's always TALKING UP the collectables biz, as though it's trying to rub the readers' noses in its hubris. These two articles would qualify for NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK awards except that a large measure of the fault lies with the morons who invest in comic books and photo books -- they're the ne plus ultra of eBaying, and would send one of their cherished possessions to $100 million if they could -- before the inevitable crash. Isn't collecting the ultimate expression of THE GREATER FOOL THEORY?
A finalist for the World Bank chairmanship now has eyes on the prime-ministership of CANADA.
Wasn't there a time ADULTS ran the world?
Wasn't there a time ADULTS ran the world?
Tonight I finally got around to playing the Silk Stockings soundtrack, and I must say for all the exultations of [C]RAPPERS as GENIUSES it turned me as much upside down and around as the Iron Lung once did to Fred Astaire. This is probably a better album than it is a movie. One thing: I'll never understand why people (among them that very intelligent composer and writer the late Alec Wilder) find "All of You" offensive. It's just a great songwriter further refining his double-entendre skills in an endearing way onto a most sweet melody. If anything it's a wonder a song like "Josephine" made it past the Hays Office -- that double-entendre's quite single. (Puzzling, too: LEGS sang adequately, but they dubbed her anyway. Life is unfair.) Of course good things like the Freed Unit could not last, and MGM is now nothing more than a Sony brand name, but we can dream of a glorious past, in the forlorn hope that someday it can return.
In the same issue in which THE GLIBERAL does one of the most exquisite imitations of the onset of a stroke in his long and illustrious career, the PUBLIC EDI-TOR says his pitiful pile of newsprint is inadequate to cover the Middle East. I don't care what the LORD GOD PINCH says, you can't rile up the faithful and then turn around and do a humble-pie act. THE PAPER OF RE-CORD once again shows two faces to the world -- both smirking.
span style="font-weight:bold;" /span
span style="font-style:italic;" /span
Hey G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER! It used to be if you wanted italics or boldface, you simply typed a less-than sign, then an i or b, then a greater-than sign, and where you wanted either to end you added a forward-slant before the letter. You don't suppose with all these "font-styles" and "font-weights" and "span-styles" all over the place that might be slowing up your brilliant system? NOOOOOOOOOOOO.
span style="font-style:italic;" /span
Hey G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER! It used to be if you wanted italics or boldface, you simply typed a less-than sign, then an i or b, then a greater-than sign, and where you wanted either to end you added a forward-slant before the letter. You don't suppose with all these "font-styles" and "font-weights" and "span-styles" all over the place that might be slowing up your brilliant system? NOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Terry Teachout may be the best blogger there is. Certainly he is the most cultured. That said, he has these enthusiasms, and this review makes me think he's stumbled onto another one. Reading between the lines I'm thinking this is a boutique musical, and boutique musicals will not bring back the masses for whom humming Broadway tunes was second nature. That he likens RICHARD RODGERS'S GRANDSON (I'm sorry, that's why he's in the biz) to HERR DOKTOR SONDHEIM makes me even more suspicious, especially as Mr. Teachout goes Jell-oish at the knees over THAT genius. It would be nice to think I'm wrong, that this really is a wonderful production, but we've had too many ENTHUSIASMS from ad-blurb copywriters (of whom Mr. Teachout is NOT one) for me to think otherwise.
P. S. Ben Brantley, I sympathize with the idea that a "real human being [should] materialize in a mainstream musical, an environment that has become increasingly hostile to such life forms"; but you must take credit for many of the "singing cartoons and dancing robots that are multiplying on Broadway like flu germs," as you raved some of them.
P. S. Ben Brantley, I sympathize with the idea that a "real human being [should] materialize in a mainstream musical, an environment that has become increasingly hostile to such life forms"; but you must take credit for many of the "singing cartoons and dancing robots that are multiplying on Broadway like flu germs," as you raved some of them.
One wonders if the FIX was in with THE KEYBOARD THROWER when the LALATimes ran that former FREEPwriter's confessional. By then, one suspects, the paper was sure it needed its profit center, but it was equally sure he left a BAD TASTE in lots of people's mouths. A conspiracy theorist might say it was planned; and though it wasn't, it had the advantage of underlining that this zillionaire SCREAMER is NOT a NICE GUY, justifying the editors in their under-the-desk actions.
P. S. An APT conclusion to the AP dispatch on the FREEP's site as it slunk through the dead of night:
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P. S. An APT conclusion to the AP dispatch on the FREEP's site as it slunk through the dead of night:
[an error occurred while processing this directive]
A NEW ailment in post-common-sense America: BLACKBERRY THUMB!
All so others can eavesdrop on your e-mails.
All so others can eavesdrop on your e-mails.
Hmmm, the SECRETARY OF STATE's called CNN too -- to convince those easily convinced folks it's the SENATORS WHO ARE DOING THE CALLING!
GENERAL's spinning like a top now -- or a SECRETARY OF STATE.
GENERAL's spinning like a top now -- or a SECRETARY OF STATE.
Islamists dominate in final phase of Saudi municipal elections
EXCELLENT news -- and especially because they're CONSERVATIVE.
EXCELLENT news -- and especially because they're CONSERVATIVE.
I question the sincerity of this front page. RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s doing it because he instinctively knows most news hacks now regard 9/11 as a "DISASTER", but this front cover yells into a vacuum, and by screaming EVIL RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! may not be out to show the act was evil, but merely to show others in his "profession" up. It's six of one and half-a-dozen with the other, and they cancel each other out for a big fat ZERO.
They're busted!
US Weekly says it has obtained exclusive photos of Hollywood superstars Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie enjoying a beach vacation in Africa this week along with her toddler son, Maddox. Two dozen photos of the couple - long the subject of rumors - set off a frenzied international bidding war yesterday.
Us scored the celebrity jackpot by paying what one source estimates was up to a staggering $1 million for the U.S. rights to the pictures, which will appear in the magazine's next issue.
All for a couple of bores at whom millions of readers can throw up their hands in disgust and yell, "WHO CARES?"
US Weekly says it has obtained exclusive photos of Hollywood superstars Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie enjoying a beach vacation in Africa this week along with her toddler son, Maddox. Two dozen photos of the couple - long the subject of rumors - set off a frenzied international bidding war yesterday.
Us scored the celebrity jackpot by paying what one source estimates was up to a staggering $1 million for the U.S. rights to the pictures, which will appear in the magazine's next issue.
All for a couple of bores at whom millions of readers can throw up their hands in disgust and yell, "WHO CARES?"
Commenting on the misuse of science to support political agendas, Harvard's Dr. Malcolm Ross concludes of such folly, "Freeze or fry, the problem is always industrial capitalism, and the solution is always international socialism."
Unfortunately the opposite is true with con-SER-va-tives: the problem is always international socialism, and the solution is always industrial capitalism. That's one reason we have SNIDELY WHIPLASHES in Congress. And after they're through shaking down big business we get corporate welfare, a GOOD kind of SOCIALISM.
Unfortunately the opposite is true with con-SER-va-tives: the problem is always international socialism, and the solution is always industrial capitalism. That's one reason we have SNIDELY WHIPLASHES in Congress. And after they're through shaking down big business we get corporate welfare, a GOOD kind of SOCIALISM.
We didn't expect anything less than a whitewash, and thank GOD you gave it to us!
Back to COLUMMING, OPRAH'S BOY TOY, and THROWING KEYBOARDS!!!!!
We took into account many factors, including the seriousness of the offense, the importance of our credibility, the history of those involved and Albom's 20 stellar years at the Free Press.
And the fact that BOY TOY's a PROFIT CENTER.
Now SHUT UP and slant the news.
(Thanks to ROMY, for nothing.)
By the way, will the "reporting" run on a SATURDAY too?
Back to COLUMMING, OPRAH'S BOY TOY, and THROWING KEYBOARDS!!!!!
We took into account many factors, including the seriousness of the offense, the importance of our credibility, the history of those involved and Albom's 20 stellar years at the Free Press.
And the fact that BOY TOY's a PROFIT CENTER.
Now SHUT UP and slant the news.
(Thanks to ROMY, for nothing.)
By the way, will the "reporting" run on a SATURDAY too?
Friday, April 22, 2005
Army Clears Top Abu Ghraib Case Officers
Time for the hacks to report again: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
The office of Sen. Carl Levin, D-Mich., top Democrat on the Senate Armed Services Committee, declined to comment on the matter.
Shucks Carl, you missed a golden opportunity to posture.
YES yes, people should be held accountable for what happened there under our command; but think of what SADDAM did there and I'm afraid, HACKS, bad though the pictures looked, there's NO CONTEST.
Time for the hacks to report again: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
The office of Sen. Carl Levin, D-Mich., top Democrat on the Senate Armed Services Committee, declined to comment on the matter.
Shucks Carl, you missed a golden opportunity to posture.
YES yes, people should be held accountable for what happened there under our command; but think of what SADDAM did there and I'm afraid, HACKS, bad though the pictures looked, there's NO CONTEST.
What's the difference between this press release and the typical mad-about-marketing press release in USAOKAY!!!!!? They're both excited about product placements; they're both in raptures over advertising; they both feature the magic word "demographic" as if it had the same effect as the mythical Fountain of Youth. No, I could not tell any difference between this press release and a similar one in USAOKAY!!!!!, which tells me THE PAPER OF RE-CORD may be too far gone to "reform."
A special NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD (the second we've bestowed upon THE LORD GOD PINCH'S BIBLE) to STU, THE VOICE of MADAVE!
A special NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD (the second we've bestowed upon THE LORD GOD PINCH'S BIBLE) to STU, THE VOICE of MADAVE!
Rep. Waxman demands probe of State Department terrorism reports
If his first name were COLIN he'd GET somewhere.
If his first name were COLIN he'd GET somewhere.
Another reason Broadway will be a JUKE-BOX JOINT FOREVER: a show starring the tunes of NEIL SEDAKA!!
OR:
The show was once tentatively titled Stupid Cupid.
I think I can see why they changed it.
OR:
The show was once tentatively titled Stupid Cupid.
I think I can see why they changed it.
NASDAQ gets into the profit-making biz too!
It has a LOT OF CATCHING UP ahead.
The downside is THE REUT has more money to devote to FREEDOM FIGHTERS.
It has a LOT OF CATCHING UP ahead.
The downside is THE REUT has more money to devote to FREEDOM FIGHTERS.
Greil Marcus, the thinking man's critic....
Meaning I guess he gets to use BIG WORDS, and drop the names of PHILOSOPHERS, just like the Hitler expert Ron Rosenbaum.
Meaning I guess he gets to use BIG WORDS, and drop the names of PHILOSOPHERS, just like the Hitler expert Ron Rosenbaum.
China dismisses Japanese apology for war aggression
Between kamikazes and Communism I'd say both countries have something to apologize for.
Between kamikazes and Communism I'd say both countries have something to apologize for.
And here's another of the nice people you hope to meet every day:
I was an intern for Denny Hastert when the Republicans first took over in ‘95, and because Denny was the Chief Deputy Majority whip, he was in the Capitol pretty much all the time with the leadership and its staff while (we) his staff stayed in Rayburn HOB. Well, I can remember on more than one occasion people being on the phone with our seemingly teddy-bearish, behind-the-scenes, now-Speaker, and let me tell you: he could tear people a new one; I witnessed 30-year-old LAs weeping, and I mean shaking, snot-flowing, bawling, at the end of a phone call, or guys looking white after having been eviscerated from across Independence Ave. With all my friends doing similar internships at the time, this seemed standard fare. It's politics for cryin' out loud, and frankly I think this "he said not nice things to me and is a big-meany-stupidhead!" is embarrassing for Democrats and just further emasculates their image. You Rule, Thor! (I figure I just upped my chances of getting posted) [SIC]
I figure you just upped your chances of looking like a complete DWEEB.
I was an intern for Denny Hastert when the Republicans first took over in ‘95, and because Denny was the Chief Deputy Majority whip, he was in the Capitol pretty much all the time with the leadership and its staff while (we) his staff stayed in Rayburn HOB. Well, I can remember on more than one occasion people being on the phone with our seemingly teddy-bearish, behind-the-scenes, now-Speaker, and let me tell you: he could tear people a new one; I witnessed 30-year-old LAs weeping, and I mean shaking, snot-flowing, bawling, at the end of a phone call, or guys looking white after having been eviscerated from across Independence Ave. With all my friends doing similar internships at the time, this seemed standard fare. It's politics for cryin' out loud, and frankly I think this "he said not nice things to me and is a big-meany-stupidhead!" is embarrassing for Democrats and just further emasculates their image. You Rule, Thor! (I figure I just upped my chances of getting posted) [SIC]
I figure you just upped your chances of looking like a complete DWEEB.
THE OPRAH SIDE OF THE BOY TOY:
[T]he stories about Albom's bad behavior, particularly to underlings, are legion. For example, Lessenberry says one of his students quit an internship at WJR radio after Albom threw a computer keyboard at her.
Art Regner, co-host of a sports talk show on WXYT-AM, experienced Albom's wrath firsthand.
"I remember one time when I was his producer, he was unhappy with the way something had gone," Regner says. "Even if they were upset, most people would have a few words and that would be it. But Mitch — Mitch screamed and screamed. It was a major tantrum."
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, isn't that SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET?
'BYE MITCH!
[T]he stories about Albom's bad behavior, particularly to underlings, are legion. For example, Lessenberry says one of his students quit an internship at WJR radio after Albom threw a computer keyboard at her.
Art Regner, co-host of a sports talk show on WXYT-AM, experienced Albom's wrath firsthand.
"I remember one time when I was his producer, he was unhappy with the way something had gone," Regner says. "Even if they were upset, most people would have a few words and that would be it. But Mitch — Mitch screamed and screamed. It was a major tantrum."
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, isn't that SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET?
'BYE MITCH!
Belo Corp. said Thursday that upcoming Audit Bureau of Circulation figures will show that its flagship Dallas Morning News will take a circulation hit of about 13% on Sundays and 9% on other days, for the most recent six-month period.
This will happen when you're BETTER THAN YOUR READERS.
The sad thing is the ones who'll be laid off will be the harmless people -- the clerks, the delivery folks. The people who got these papers into this mess WILL NOT BE TOUCHED.
This will happen when you're BETTER THAN YOUR READERS.
The sad thing is the ones who'll be laid off will be the harmless people -- the clerks, the delivery folks. The people who got these papers into this mess WILL NOT BE TOUCHED.
IS the end in sight for the juke box musical, that cynically motivated, artistically bank rupt [SIC] subspecies of musical theater that's threatening to destroy Broadway?
No, because I have MORE ideas for the kind of shows that will drive you NUTS! As in:
SATURDAY IN THE PARK: THE CHICAGO® MUSICAL. The boomers' LAWRENCE A-WELK is sure to please as every one of their MUZAK-INSPIRED faux-jazz creations weaves a spell around the listeners -- and their wallets!
XANADU!!!!! THE ELO® MUSICAL. What could be better than raising this turkey from the dead, perhaps as an "ironic" commentary of the disco trade -- and getting some perky face to play Olivia Newton-John? I don't know about Gene Kelly. They may have to raise him from the dead. Aw, get an AudioAnimatronics figure. The vast audiences who'll attend won't notice.
I haven't even mentioned HALLOWEEN: THE KISS® MUSICAL!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!
No, because I have MORE ideas for the kind of shows that will drive you NUTS! As in:
SATURDAY IN THE PARK: THE CHICAGO® MUSICAL. The boomers' LAWRENCE A-WELK is sure to please as every one of their MUZAK-INSPIRED faux-jazz creations weaves a spell around the listeners -- and their wallets!
XANADU!!!!! THE ELO® MUSICAL. What could be better than raising this turkey from the dead, perhaps as an "ironic" commentary of the disco trade -- and getting some perky face to play Olivia Newton-John? I don't know about Gene Kelly. They may have to raise him from the dead. Aw, get an AudioAnimatronics figure. The vast audiences who'll attend won't notice.
I haven't even mentioned HALLOWEEN: THE KISS® MUSICAL!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!
OH oh PINCH, ST., ya got TROUBLE: SEN. McPAIN said something nice about him -- FOR NOW.
Think we can work on him with the promise of HEADLINES TO COME?
Think we can work on him with the promise of HEADLINES TO COME?
USAOKAY!!!!! BEGINS ITS TWO-MONTHS-LONG CAMPAIGN FOR NEUHARTHISM OF THE YEAR!!!!!
If this isn't a case for people to stop reading papers there is none.
But you forgot to mention JACK'S ALPHABET SOUP. They may dock you an hour's pay.
If this isn't a case for people to stop reading papers there is none.
But you forgot to mention JACK'S ALPHABET SOUP. They may dock you an hour's pay.
One last story from the ST.:
Older Riders Add to Rise In Motorcycle Fatalities
Boomers never will grow up.
Older Riders Add to Rise In Motorcycle Fatalities
Boomers never will grow up.
And speaking of the WAPOST, the Secretary of State's talking to IT TOO!
...a behind-the-scenes player in the battle over John R. Bolton's nomination as ambassador to the United Nations, privately telling at least two key Republican lawmakers...
with a MEGAPHONE attached to a MICROPHONE attached to a 5,000-WATT SOUND SYSTEM attached to a 100,000-WATT SOUND SYSTEM. Some privacy.
Why don't you campaign for KOFI's job, Mr. Secretary? Then you could compromise and bloviate to your heart's content -- and maybe win a NOBEL PRIZE!
Next time, WAPOST, can't you increase the font size on your hed? As in --
POWELL PLAYING QUIET ROLE IN BOLTON BATTLE
...a behind-the-scenes player in the battle over John R. Bolton's nomination as ambassador to the United Nations, privately telling at least two key Republican lawmakers...
with a MEGAPHONE attached to a MICROPHONE attached to a 5,000-WATT SOUND SYSTEM attached to a 100,000-WATT SOUND SYSTEM. Some privacy.
Why don't you campaign for KOFI's job, Mr. Secretary? Then you could compromise and bloviate to your heart's content -- and maybe win a NOBEL PRIZE!
Next time, WAPOST, can't you increase the font size on your hed? As in --
POWELL PLAYING QUIET ROLE IN BOLTON BATTLE
Thursday, April 21, 2005
And a big THANKS to G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER for turning twenty minutes of downtime into a half hour INTO AN HOUR-AND-THREE-QUARTERS. That it wasn't the THREE HOURS you threatened may not count as a plus in our book.
G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER and WEBLOGS.COM (which has apparently ALSO gone the RANDOM route) may deprive me of hits, but I will keep this blog running no matter what. I may as well entertain SOMEBODY, and I guess the SOMEBODY will be ME.
Toenail.com's incredibly verbose movie-ad-blurb copywriter engages in what he supposes to be satire over the idea that his ilk can be bought. But as THE THUMBS-UP BROTHERS' RESUMES and SALARIES have proved, they got bought LONG AGO.
Maybe the fact that the ChiTrib is putting this commentary at the top of its home page says the hacks went too far with the Pope.
Or, as is more likely, it just says they had to put it somewhere.
Or, as is more likely, it just says they had to put it somewhere.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANYBODY OUT THERE?????
THE BRAINS BEHIND BLACKMUN [Jonathan H. Adler]
Historian David Garrow's article alleging Justice Blackmun relied too much on his clerks in deciding cases has sparked a little firestorm. The Volokh Conspirators comment here.
Posted at 08:02 AM
Oh, NO! You've unleashed a deluge of WORDS!!!!!
P. S. I read the article. Do we REALLY expect the NINE FINGERS to know what they're doing? And in a world of LORD KOPPELS and Congresspoops with 500 assistants, do we REALLY expect them to do it themselves?
Historian David Garrow's article alleging Justice Blackmun relied too much on his clerks in deciding cases has sparked a little firestorm. The Volokh Conspirators comment here.
Posted at 08:02 AM
Oh, NO! You've unleashed a deluge of WORDS!!!!!
P. S. I read the article. Do we REALLY expect the NINE FINGERS to know what they're doing? And in a world of LORD KOPPELS and Congresspoops with 500 assistants, do we REALLY expect them to do it themselves?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANYBODY OUT THERE?????
The world according to Topix.com:
Business News
That Was No Lady, That Was a Bank Robber
AT&T Corp., which has agreed to be acquired by SBC Communications Inc., said Thursday that first-quarter profit rose 59%, aided by continued cost cuts and a key...
This is co-owned by KnightRidder and GanNETt, nuf said.
Business News
That Was No Lady, That Was a Bank Robber
AT&T Corp., which has agreed to be acquired by SBC Communications Inc., said Thursday that first-quarter profit rose 59%, aided by continued cost cuts and a key...
This is co-owned by KnightRidder and GanNETt, nuf said.
Q. What are the colors of the League of Nations' flag?
A. Sky blue -- and WHITEWASH!
Another story our CW HACKS WILL NOT REPORT.
A. Sky blue -- and WHITEWASH!
Another story our CW HACKS WILL NOT REPORT.
And it appears LIBERALS and NEWS HACKS aren't the ONLY ONES SCREAMING about the POPE:
"They'd never say so, but I think news executives are a bit disappointed that the selection of the new pope was completed so quickly," says Jack Myers, a media analyst and editor of The Jack Myers Report. "There wasn't much time for drama to build. It's a story that would have generated ongoing coverage and sent people to their TVs every time smoke was coming out of that chimney."
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWELL!
"They'd never say so, but I think news executives are a bit disappointed that the selection of the new pope was completed so quickly," says Jack Myers, a media analyst and editor of The Jack Myers Report. "There wasn't much time for drama to build. It's a story that would have generated ongoing coverage and sent people to their TVs every time smoke was coming out of that chimney."
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWELL!
FEDEX's CEO spent $2 million dollars so he could say, "I WAS AT THE SUPER BOWL AND YOU WEREN'T!" -- and so he could be INVESTIGATED BY THE FTC!
Looks like YOU got a LITTLE MORE than you PAID FOR!
Looks like YOU got a LITTLE MORE than you PAID FOR!
Men have become the tools of their tools....
I will NEVER own ANY type of cell phone, for the expense, the potential for fraud and embarrassment -- and their total USELESSNESS.
I will NEVER own ANY type of cell phone, for the expense, the potential for fraud and embarrassment -- and their total USELESSNESS.
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
IMPORTANT THOUGHTS on the CORNER:
YOU CAN TELL SEAN HANNITY'S NOT A BLOGGER [K. J. Lopez]
or his first question to Denny Hastert would have been, what did DeLay mean about research on the Internet? What's wrong with that? Huh? HUH! Tell us, Mr. Speaker.
Posted at 05:20 PM
No, but HUGH is. ASK THE QUESTION, HUGH!
YOU CAN TELL SEAN HANNITY'S NOT A BLOGGER [K. J. Lopez]
or his first question to Denny Hastert would have been, what did DeLay mean about research on the Internet? What's wrong with that? Huh? HUH! Tell us, Mr. Speaker.
Posted at 05:20 PM
No, but HUGH is. ASK THE QUESTION, HUGH!
RICHARD J. DALEY OPPOSED THE VIETNAM WAR, THUS BECOMING -- A POSTHUMOUS HERO!!!!!
He's still the FRANK RIZZO of CHICAGO.
He's still the FRANK RIZZO of CHICAGO.
The New York Stock Exchange will merge with Archipelago Holdings Inc., an electronic trading company, becoming a for profit enterprise, the exchange announced Wednesday.
What's the diff? Wasn't the NYSE always for profit -- especially under DICK "Spread the Wealth with No One" GRASSO?
What's the diff? Wasn't the NYSE always for profit -- especially under DICK "Spread the Wealth with No One" GRASSO?
RATZ!
*Correction, April 20, 2005: The original version of the article incorrectly identified Robert Drinan as being affiliated with Boston College. Drinan is a faculty member at Georgetown University Law Center.
Was Mr. Drinan's party affiliation lost in the translation as well?
ST. WARREN'S cherubim are at least as incompetent in the Internet world as in the PRINT world.
*Correction, April 20, 2005: The original version of the article incorrectly identified Robert Drinan as being affiliated with Boston College. Drinan is a faculty member at Georgetown University Law Center.
Was Mr. Drinan's party affiliation lost in the translation as well?
ST. WARREN'S cherubim are at least as incompetent in the Internet world as in the PRINT world.
More WISDOM from ROMY'S LETTERS PAGE:
4/20/2005 4:24:20 PM
From GEORGE R. ZACHAR: The philosophical bind of modern newspapers does go back to the famous "afflict the comfortable" Dunne slogan. Dunne never anticipated that the ranks of the comfortable would swell, becoming the bulk of newspapers' readership.
Modern scribes (and publishers and editors) have yet to figure out that afflicting their customers is bad for business.
Actually, they have. That's why the afflict the afflicted (i.e., the private tragedies of Mort Zuck's NOO YAWK DAILY NOOZ) and comfort the comfortable (i.e., LEGENDARY WELCH).
4/20/2005 4:24:20 PM
From GEORGE R. ZACHAR: The philosophical bind of modern newspapers does go back to the famous "afflict the comfortable" Dunne slogan. Dunne never anticipated that the ranks of the comfortable would swell, becoming the bulk of newspapers' readership.
Modern scribes (and publishers and editors) have yet to figure out that afflicting their customers is bad for business.
Actually, they have. That's why the afflict the afflicted (i.e., the private tragedies of Mort Zuck's NOO YAWK DAILY NOOZ) and comfort the comfortable (i.e., LEGENDARY WELCH).
Now, if the networks are looking for ways to re-energize their news, the formula may be as simple as taking a page from the "60 Minutes" book and offering some audacious commentary.
Geezer Hewitt, the problem is the networks offer INAUDACIOUS COMMENTARY.
Geezer Hewitt, the problem is the networks offer INAUDACIOUS COMMENTARY.
GEEKS!
All six chapters of George Lucas' science-fiction saga — including the final one, “Star Wars: Episode III — Revenge of the Sith” — will screen in a daylong marathon May 16 at London's Leicester Square.
About 1,000 tickets will go on sale Monday morning for the marathon....
1,000 TICKETS? Baloney! The new Pope's got NOTHING on DWEEBS with a CAUSE. GO FOR IT! MAKE THIS A MOMENT of EARTH-SHATTERING HISTORY! And after you DO THAT,
GET A LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All six chapters of George Lucas' science-fiction saga — including the final one, “Star Wars: Episode III — Revenge of the Sith” — will screen in a daylong marathon May 16 at London's Leicester Square.
About 1,000 tickets will go on sale Monday morning for the marathon....
1,000 TICKETS? Baloney! The new Pope's got NOTHING on DWEEBS with a CAUSE. GO FOR IT! MAKE THIS A MOMENT of EARTH-SHATTERING HISTORY! And after you DO THAT,
GET A LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
New pope suffered 1991 brain hemorrhage
I have no doubt Benedict XVI is a good man (more so now that the HACKS are calling him a NAZI), but even if he was John Paul's right hand you have to wonder if the College of Cardinals chose all that wisely.
I have no doubt Benedict XVI is a good man (more so now that the HACKS are calling him a NAZI), but even if he was John Paul's right hand you have to wonder if the College of Cardinals chose all that wisely.
The bodies of more than 50 people have been recovered from the Tigris River and have been identified, President Jalal Talabani said Wednesday. The bodies were believed to have been those of hostages seized in the Madain region earlier this month.
50 bodies = 2 American soldiers, so this does not matter, UNLESS AMERICANS KILLED THEM, or something.
50 bodies = 2 American soldiers, so this does not matter, UNLESS AMERICANS KILLED THEM, or something.
BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH:
The impending move of "Monday Night Football" from ABC to ESPN provides a sharp reminder that the millions of viewers who can't afford cable or satellite TV are increasingly outcasts in the television world.
Bull. Think of it this way: Monday Night Football is moving to Sunday nights on GE Bancorp Network; Sunday Night Monday Night Football is moving to Monday nights on ESPN. The real losers are at ESPNCORP, who are paying a fortune more for a diminished property. The Super Bowl will stay on the free air for as long as the eye can see so that HACKS like YOU can PLUG THE ADS.
But then the same INTELLECTUAL GIANTS who told us ESPNCORP's act was a STROKE OF GENIUS are the SAME IDIOTS who are telling us the new Pope's a NAZI. They'll say anything; we'll believe nothing.
The impending move of "Monday Night Football" from ABC to ESPN provides a sharp reminder that the millions of viewers who can't afford cable or satellite TV are increasingly outcasts in the television world.
Bull. Think of it this way: Monday Night Football is moving to Sunday nights on GE Bancorp Network; Sunday Night Monday Night Football is moving to Monday nights on ESPN. The real losers are at ESPNCORP, who are paying a fortune more for a diminished property. The Super Bowl will stay on the free air for as long as the eye can see so that HACKS like YOU can PLUG THE ADS.
But then the same INTELLECTUAL GIANTS who told us ESPNCORP's act was a STROKE OF GENIUS are the SAME IDIOTS who are telling us the new Pope's a NAZI. They'll say anything; we'll believe nothing.
Overall, though, Americans don’t like their TV. Sixty-six percent said entertainment TV shows are worse than five years ago, and only 24% found them better, a pattern in line with previous surveys in 1983 and 1993.
Hey ADVERTISERS!!!!! WE'VE GOT THE SOLUTION!!!!!
MORE MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not all the dissatisfaction was directed at sexual content; the study reported 33% are bothered “a lot” by homosexual characters or themes. Meanwhile, 46% are bothered by references or depictions of drug use, and 38% by reality shows that make fun of or trick people.
MORE MONEY!!!!!!!!
Hey ADVERTISERS!!!!! WE'VE GOT THE SOLUTION!!!!!
MORE MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not all the dissatisfaction was directed at sexual content; the study reported 33% are bothered “a lot” by homosexual characters or themes. Meanwhile, 46% are bothered by references or depictions of drug use, and 38% by reality shows that make fun of or trick people.
MORE MONEY!!!!!!!!
Jacques Rogge, president of the International Olympic Committee (IOC), today issued a strong warning to the five cities competing to stage the 2012 Games not to become involved in a "bidding war".
No, NO! Build those Taj Mahals! Make promises you can't keep! Empty your coffers! These are the GE BANCORP GAMES, and you'll LIVE IN HISTORY WITH THEM FOREVER!!!!!
No, NO! Build those Taj Mahals! Make promises you can't keep! Empty your coffers! These are the GE BANCORP GAMES, and you'll LIVE IN HISTORY WITH THEM FOREVER!!!!!
Another achievement from the world of the shrinks:
Each year, hundreds of thousands of couples go into counseling in an effort to save their troubled relationships.
But does marital therapy work? Not nearly as well as it should, researchers say. Two years after ending counseling, studies find, 25 percent of couples are worse off than they were when they started, and after four years, up to 38 percent are divorced.
How should we know any variation of talking on a couch to someone with a pencil and pad may not work? LOOK AT WOODSTER THE PERV. But then he was ALWAYS a GENIUS.
Each year, hundreds of thousands of couples go into counseling in an effort to save their troubled relationships.
But does marital therapy work? Not nearly as well as it should, researchers say. Two years after ending counseling, studies find, 25 percent of couples are worse off than they were when they started, and after four years, up to 38 percent are divorced.
How should we know any variation of talking on a couch to someone with a pencil and pad may not work? LOOK AT WOODSTER THE PERV. But then he was ALWAYS a GENIUS.
ROMY shakes his head again:
In one of Oliver Sacks's books, he describes watching a group of people with different neurologic deficits watching the Great Communicator deliver a speech on television. The entire group was laughing, he said: those with aphasia could tell by his body language that he was being insincere; those with a condition that didn't allow them to understand nuance and body language but could understand only his words could parse his insincerity. (In the interests of bipartisanship, the same example would have held true for many, many Bill Clinton speeches.)
Who's interested in being bipartisan, Glenny? Not news hacks.
Glenn Fleishman is a freelance reporter who writes for The New York Times....
Definitely not bipartisan.
In one of Oliver Sacks's books, he describes watching a group of people with different neurologic deficits watching the Great Communicator deliver a speech on television. The entire group was laughing, he said: those with aphasia could tell by his body language that he was being insincere; those with a condition that didn't allow them to understand nuance and body language but could understand only his words could parse his insincerity. (In the interests of bipartisanship, the same example would have held true for many, many Bill Clinton speeches.)
Who's interested in being bipartisan, Glenny? Not news hacks.
Glenn Fleishman is a freelance reporter who writes for The New York Times....
Definitely not bipartisan.
The more I think of what HOWIE HAIRSHIRT said the other day the more I think NEWS HACKS DESERVE to be HARANGUED. Their ability to get their way rivals the SUN KING's. Indeed they have an advantage he didn't: they're monarchs, court jesters and FAWNING COURTIERS in one. It's about time we put these TYRANTS of the KEYBOARD in their PLACE.
And when will the hacks learn the Pope is NOT the president of the United States and NO, you CAN'T UNELECT HIM?
Just think if somebody did a critical story on YOU, REUT. Not that it would EVER happen.
Clearly the HACKS don't like him. Well we'll be unbending and say WE DON'T LIKE YOU.
Just think if somebody did a critical story on YOU, REUT. Not that it would EVER happen.
Clearly the HACKS don't like him. Well we'll be unbending and say WE DON'T LIKE YOU.
The Pope hasn't warmed his throne and some hacks have taken a "poll."
At least Catholics have their conscience. If all we could rely on was polls we'd be in a sorry state indeed.
At least Catholics have their conscience. If all we could rely on was polls we'd be in a sorry state indeed.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
There HAS to be an alternative to WEBLOGS. It's DOWN again, and that's one reason I'M GETTING NO HITS.
HEY MOUNTAIN VIEW KADIDDLEHOPPPERS -- WHY DON'T YOU BUY IT?
(Although the last three weeks I haven't had reason to complain.)
HEY MOUNTAIN VIEW KADIDDLEHOPPPERS -- WHY DON'T YOU BUY IT?
(Although the last three weeks I haven't had reason to complain.)
Study finds government overstated danger of obesity
And how many times have YOU gone into CRISIS MODE, oh SONS of SOB?
And how many times have YOU gone into CRISIS MODE, oh SONS of SOB?
How do you play "Taps" in SURFER MUSIC?
I wish I could say "NEXT" with the ELVIS INFATUATORS, but apparently that show's become a TOURIST TRAP, much like the KING'S SHOWS.
I wish I could say "NEXT" with the ELVIS INFATUATORS, but apparently that show's become a TOURIST TRAP, much like the KING'S SHOWS.
Overheard on the el, re Mike Tyson:
That man don't have issues, he have problems.
Can't argue with that.
That man don't have issues, he have problems.
Can't argue with that.
Oh shut up, LAWD PUTTNAM. I seem to recall when you were working for Columbia Pictures (in the days Coke owned it -- remember those?) you were producing a film about a talking penis. Nothing ever came of it, but even so it's reason enough for you to keep your BOUCHE FERMEZED when it comes to VIOLENCE or MORALS or ANYTHING ELSE.
OR:
The problem with pinning down Puttnam, though, is that what he says is very seldom what he means. His former boss at Columbia Pictures, Fay Vincent, says that David has no qualms about deceiving, proceeding to detail how Puttnam's compulsive lying led to a series of corporate embarrassments that ultimately resulted in his removal from the studio after just over a year into a three-year contract. It's clear that Puttnam, despite Andrew Yule's insistence on painting him as a flawed man of vision, is an almost universally despised and wholly insufferable egoist who got lucky on a couple of long shots, did a good dead [SIC] by introducing the world to director William Forsythe (Local Hero, Housekeeping), and made countless bad decisions as the head of a major movie studio that seem to suggest the road to hell (and bad cinema) is paved with good intentions.
Keeping in mind that people in the SHOW-BIZ MAFIA will form grudges at the drop of a hat, and keeping in mind it's FAY VINCENT (who's STILL ticked he's not COMMISH), it's something to keep in mind.
OR:
The problem with pinning down Puttnam, though, is that what he says is very seldom what he means. His former boss at Columbia Pictures, Fay Vincent, says that David has no qualms about deceiving, proceeding to detail how Puttnam's compulsive lying led to a series of corporate embarrassments that ultimately resulted in his removal from the studio after just over a year into a three-year contract. It's clear that Puttnam, despite Andrew Yule's insistence on painting him as a flawed man of vision, is an almost universally despised and wholly insufferable egoist who got lucky on a couple of long shots, did a good dead [SIC] by introducing the world to director William Forsythe (Local Hero, Housekeeping), and made countless bad decisions as the head of a major movie studio that seem to suggest the road to hell (and bad cinema) is paved with good intentions.
Keeping in mind that people in the SHOW-BIZ MAFIA will form grudges at the drop of a hat, and keeping in mind it's FAY VINCENT (who's STILL ticked he's not COMMISH), it's something to keep in mind.
I HAVE POSTED TWENTY TIMES TODAY AND HAVE GOTTEN ONE HIT. WHY?????
Already CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES take the lef -- er, RIGHT SIDE:
New pope a CONSERVATIVE who divided Germans (BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!)
Being CONSERVATIVE will never be a virtue to NEWS HACKS.
New pope a CONSERVATIVE who divided Germans (BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!)
Being CONSERVATIVE will never be a virtue to NEWS HACKS.
I wonder if the Catholic church may have squandered an opportunity here. It's a measure of how very politically unsavvy the church can be that it did not choose a younger man, a man from (as the otherwise fool Cardinal Mahony suggested) a nation with more devotion to the church's teachings, a strong traditionalist who was yet vigorous enough to stare down his enemies. Let's face it, his age matters too; the new Pope is only six years younger than whom he replaced. Already there are rumblings on Free Republic about this, and about the fact that he served in the German Army during the war, apparently under duress. If we have half the Pope we lost we will have a leader. That said, one wonders if the College of Cardinals appointed exactly what its members said, what the former Cardinal Ratzinger said they wouldn't appoint -- a transitional figure.
We should all wish the Pope Godspeed -- for our sake, let alone for his.
We should all wish the Pope Godspeed -- for our sake, let alone for his.
Astonishingly enough, the Web knew -- or at least sensed something Google Benedict XVI and you get 58,200 hits (but only 1,130 with quotes).
THAT won't last.
THAT won't last.
ALL RIGHT, FATHER WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!, you were RIGHT, you were RIGHT, it was YOUR PICK. But we all know about STOPPED CLOCKS AND MEL FANS.
And his papal name is Benedict XVI. A good, sound, old name.
So much for MY brilliant predictions. Long live the Pope!
And his papal name is Benedict XVI. A good, sound, old name.
So much for MY brilliant predictions. Long live the Pope!
How surprising: Corey Greenberg, who made his name hearing things at Stereophile, now sees things on the Today show -- and they're all the color of MONEY.
Who would trust TV for advice on buying anything?
Who would trust TV for advice on buying anything?
I wouldn't get excited -- it will be months before we know who the new pope really IS. I wouldn't be surprised if even the "experts" have to GUESS.
Who knew who John Paul II was?
I further wouldn't be surprised if he insists on calling himself John Paul III. More of the Beatles.
Who knew who John Paul II was?
I further wouldn't be surprised if he insists on calling himself John Paul III. More of the Beatles.
NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEXT BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOG!!!!!
One reason Romy's not good is you can always hear him shake his head. He posts this Raspberry because he agrees with it, but he wouldn't post the right-wing analog. That said, both sides share in the modern news debacle. RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s only taking a page from PINCH, albeit one printed in DAY-GLO.
NEXT BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOG, WHERE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE YOU?
Who needs a church when WE'VE GOT US?
And socialized medicine.
There is growth in Christianity on the Continent, but it tends to be among immigrants from Asia, Africa and Latin America, who are often drawn to churches described as evangelical, Pentecostal or charismatic.
TRANSLATION: While others were preaching God, the Catholic church was sealing itself up in its historic landmarks.
And socialized medicine.
There is growth in Christianity on the Continent, but it tends to be among immigrants from Asia, Africa and Latin America, who are often drawn to churches described as evangelical, Pentecostal or charismatic.
TRANSLATION: While others were preaching God, the Catholic church was sealing itself up in its historic landmarks.
A voice from the dead instructs us that we're the bad guys again, sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Of course we should be sad for the casualties of war, but even if these numbers USAOKAY!!!!! drew out of a hat are right, it's still a fraction of the hundreds of thousands who died under Saddam. The solution to the present casualties, then, would have been not to go to war. We'd have spared Saddam too.
USAOKAY!!!!! has become the PERFECT NEWSPAPER, exactly what SOB had envisioned in '82. It tells people WHAT TO THINK AND WHAT TO BUY. How could it be better than that?
P. S. A cursory Google of Campaign for Innocent Victims in Conflict turns up Kos, Notinourname.org and Soros.org in the first two pages. A DISINTERESTED ORGANIZATION INDEED. THANKS AGAIN, SOB!!!!!
Of course we should be sad for the casualties of war, but even if these numbers USAOKAY!!!!! drew out of a hat are right, it's still a fraction of the hundreds of thousands who died under Saddam. The solution to the present casualties, then, would have been not to go to war. We'd have spared Saddam too.
USAOKAY!!!!! has become the PERFECT NEWSPAPER, exactly what SOB had envisioned in '82. It tells people WHAT TO THINK AND WHAT TO BUY. How could it be better than that?
P. S. A cursory Google of Campaign for Innocent Victims in Conflict turns up Kos, Notinourname.org and Soros.org in the first two pages. A DISINTERESTED ORGANIZATION INDEED. THANKS AGAIN, SOB!!!!!
Is 'ethics' just another word for politics?
The way "bioethicists" ply them, the way Democrats ply them, the way REPUBLICANS ply them, I say yes.
We may say the same for a COLUMMIST who sees evil on only one side. There's hardly a difference between a scribbler like this and one at THE PAPER OF RE-CORD except the POLITICS ARE REVERSED.
The way "bioethicists" ply them, the way Democrats ply them, the way REPUBLICANS ply them, I say yes.
We may say the same for a COLUMMIST who sees evil on only one side. There's hardly a difference between a scribbler like this and one at THE PAPER OF RE-CORD except the POLITICS ARE REVERSED.
ESPNCORP's paying double for a "valuable" property, and it loses the Super Bowl, and it has to fill in eighteen weeks of air time, and some clown named Sandomir calls it great. It seems the six- and seven-digit scribblers are eager to do favors for ESPNCORP, and so despite the lengthening shadow of Eddie Epstein's achievement we bestow a NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD to Dickie for flackwork well done.
P. S. We may have found an ulterior motive in this, one that would NOT OCCUR to hacks doing FAVORS:
However, don't assume your cable TV bill will automatically go up, says ESPN/ABC Sports president George Bodenheimer. He says "no additional charges" will be levied on cable operators as a result of landing TV's "ultimate appointment viewing."
Oh cable bills won't go up, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
I HATE NEWS HACKS!!!!!
P. S. We may have found an ulterior motive in this, one that would NOT OCCUR to hacks doing FAVORS:
However, don't assume your cable TV bill will automatically go up, says ESPN/ABC Sports president George Bodenheimer. He says "no additional charges" will be levied on cable operators as a result of landing TV's "ultimate appointment viewing."
Oh cable bills won't go up, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
I HATE NEWS HACKS!!!!!
I wish I could have thought of this -- "critics" would be a GREAT entry in THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY. Oh well, we have "SOURCES," and "CONTROVERSIAL" things, but there's no denying when a NEWS HACK wants to hate something he has a whole vocabulary devoted to hate.
Let us also not forget a dozen years ago Janet HERO -- RENO took care of a psycho and some innocents at Waco, earning the immortal plaudits of NEWS HACKS in the process.
Whatever happened to Janet HERO -- RENO? Is she still running for office?
Whatever happened to Janet HERO -- RENO? Is she still running for office?
Let us not forget ten years ago a couple of psychos, with possible help from holy cockroaches, blew up the federal building in Oklahoma City. If, as the fool "scholar" Francis Fukuyama insists, history is dead, the corpse has inflicted quite a bit of pain on us these last several decades.
Monday, April 18, 2005
The leaders of India and Pakistan have issued a joint statement declaring the peace process between their two nations "irreversible" after a weekend of successful talks.
About TIME we made nice over a PILE OF ROCKS.
About TIME we made nice over a PILE OF ROCKS.
If it weren't for LICENSING COMPANIES and the fact that said companies have somehow linked him to MARILYN, would the HACKS (those GENIUSES OF GENIUSES) have paid the slightest of their puny minds to this manufactured anniversary of Einstein's?
P. S. Here is the OFFICIAL Licensor of Albert Einstein.
P. S. Here is the OFFICIAL Licensor of Albert Einstein.
Beyond Kool-Aid: Looking at Jonestown and Its Ideals
We will ignore that you think a murderous cult may have had IDEALS, but we expect that from THE LORD GOD PINCH; still, are you sure it was KOOL-AID, PAPER OF RE-CORD?
We will ignore that you think a murderous cult may have had IDEALS, but we expect that from THE LORD GOD PINCH; still, are you sure it was KOOL-AID, PAPER OF RE-CORD?
This may not augur well for MR. OPRAH. But then, nobody ever heard of poor Mr. Slater before this -- and everybody knows MR. OPRAH.
Those @#$%&* EMOTICONS are BACK on SITE METER, and G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER's LEFT, so no more hits today.
I want MICK's NEW VICE-PREZ of PR to explain THIS ONE. Isn't the GENIUS OF ALL TIME now paying the SAME SUM to reach a SMALLER AUDIENCE? How's He going to fill the air time on His other channel? How does this help get Him to HEAVEN, EDDIE? And GE BANCORP NETWORK's paying a little over HALF of ESPNCORP for NETWORK EXPOSURE! YOUR SAVIOR GOT HOSED, EDDIE!!!!!
Sorry to be so exercised, but this is one of the WORST TYPINGS ever to run in TOENAIL.COM -- and there've been a LOT of them.
Sorry to be so exercised, but this is one of the WORST TYPINGS ever to run in TOENAIL.COM -- and there've been a LOT of them.
Edward Jay Epstein just got a BIG SMOOCH FROM -- MICKEYMOUSE NIXON!!!!!
To call this fatuous is to praise it. I own shares in a well-known food company that increased roughly fifty-fold in the last twenty years. How did it do it? With a library? And if the MICK is the GREATEST BUSINESSMAN OF ALL TIME explain the LAST TEN YEARS -- after he made it ESPNCORP.
Eddie Epstein, MR. OPRAH -- when will people learn BIG NAMES DON'T MEAN ANYTHING?
Hey Eddie! Don't you realize -- GE BANCORP has NOTHING TO DO WITH TOENAIL.COM ANYMORE!!!!! LEGENDARY WELCH RETIRED!!!!! EDDIE...EEEEEEEEEEDDIE!!!!!!!!!!
THIS IS OUR NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD WINNER -- BIG TIME!!!!!
Pieces of -- DOGGIE DOO like THIS, HOWIE HAIRSHIRT, are why ORDINARY PEOPLE PLY NEWS HACKS WITH INVECTIVE.
To call this fatuous is to praise it. I own shares in a well-known food company that increased roughly fifty-fold in the last twenty years. How did it do it? With a library? And if the MICK is the GREATEST BUSINESSMAN OF ALL TIME explain the LAST TEN YEARS -- after he made it ESPNCORP.
Eddie Epstein, MR. OPRAH -- when will people learn BIG NAMES DON'T MEAN ANYTHING?
Hey Eddie! Don't you realize -- GE BANCORP has NOTHING TO DO WITH TOENAIL.COM ANYMORE!!!!! LEGENDARY WELCH RETIRED!!!!! EDDIE...EEEEEEEEEEDDIE!!!!!!!!!!
THIS IS OUR NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD WINNER -- BIG TIME!!!!!
Pieces of -- DOGGIE DOO like THIS, HOWIE HAIRSHIRT, are why ORDINARY PEOPLE PLY NEWS HACKS WITH INVECTIVE.
EXCITING NEWS FROM THE MAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:
FOX'S CHRIS WALLACE DENIES HE'S DAN RATHER'S REPLACEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"All I can say is that Edward R. Murrow and [CBS chairman] Les Moonves should be considered in the same league," Wallace joked Friday to WRKO Boston radio host Howie Carr, sounding as if he was sucking up to the man who has to sign off on Rather's replacement....
A few moments later, however, the Fox host cleared the air. "This is gonna put the final nail in this coffin," he told Carr. "If I become the anchor at the 'CBS Evening News,' you will be Eric Severeid [SIC]; you will be the commentator and analyst for CBS."
Sure you didn't mistake him for SEAN HANNITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
FOX'S CHRIS WALLACE DENIES HE'S DAN RATHER'S REPLACEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"All I can say is that Edward R. Murrow and [CBS chairman] Les Moonves should be considered in the same league," Wallace joked Friday to WRKO Boston radio host Howie Carr, sounding as if he was sucking up to the man who has to sign off on Rather's replacement....
A few moments later, however, the Fox host cleared the air. "This is gonna put the final nail in this coffin," he told Carr. "If I become the anchor at the 'CBS Evening News,' you will be Eric Severeid [SIC]; you will be the commentator and analyst for CBS."
Sure you didn't mistake him for SEAN HANNITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
Republicans take in record $32 million in first quarter
OHoh, I think we need -- CAMPAIGN FINANCE REFORM.
Pffh-hh-hh!
OHoh, I think we need -- CAMPAIGN FINANCE REFORM.
Pffh-hh-hh!
Rapper DMX was arrested following an accident on a Bronx expressway that injured three people, including two police officers, police said Monday.
Another [C]RAPPER makes a BRILLIANT career move.
Another [C]RAPPER makes a BRILLIANT career move.
Which brings us to HOWIE HAIRSHIRT's lament about all the OBLOQUY being aimed at NEWS HACKS. I'm sure if we had the chance to know these people we'd find them nice and friendly, and want to know them. The problem is, they don't speak for themselves, they speak for CORPORATIONS (and yes, NEWSPAPERS ARE CORPORATE), which means we must view them in an impersonal sense, and as personifications of their employers' faults. So long as they idly type and chatter and EARN we will know who they are, and whom they work for.
And BLOGGERS (especially those with POP-UPS and AMEX as a SPONSOR) should DEFINITELY NOT be exempt from the most stinging criticism. Mr. BLOGGER OF THE MILLENNIUM's "So I was wrong" sounds almost like "So what?", which we'd expect from THE GREATEST THING SINCE WONDER BREAD. If we must hurl mud let's hurl it at everyone who deserves it, not just NEWS HACKS.
And BLOGGERS (especially those with POP-UPS and AMEX as a SPONSOR) should DEFINITELY NOT be exempt from the most stinging criticism. Mr. BLOGGER OF THE MILLENNIUM's "So I was wrong" sounds almost like "So what?", which we'd expect from THE GREATEST THING SINCE WONDER BREAD. If we must hurl mud let's hurl it at everyone who deserves it, not just NEWS HACKS.
Nonexistent Mission
Los Angeles Times columnist Robert Scheer wrote last week that the Bush administration dispatched "self-appointed morals czar" William Bennett in 2003 to tell Vatican officials that the invasion of Iraq would be a just war. This was news to Bennett, who says he never took such a trip and can't understand why Scheer never called him.
Scheer says he was "sloppy" in picking up the tale from the Houston Catholic Worker. "I should have been more careful," he says. Says Times Opinion Editor Michael Kinsley: "I guess I would wonder why a story this juicy would have only been in some Catholic newspaper. That would make me want to check it out."
And the difference between this HACK and a BLOGGER is that the HACK deserves his six-figure salary.
Los Angeles Times columnist Robert Scheer wrote last week that the Bush administration dispatched "self-appointed morals czar" William Bennett in 2003 to tell Vatican officials that the invasion of Iraq would be a just war. This was news to Bennett, who says he never took such a trip and can't understand why Scheer never called him.
Scheer says he was "sloppy" in picking up the tale from the Houston Catholic Worker. "I should have been more careful," he says. Says Times Opinion Editor Michael Kinsley: "I guess I would wonder why a story this juicy would have only been in some Catholic newspaper. That would make me want to check it out."
And the difference between this HACK and a BLOGGER is that the HACK deserves his six-figure salary.
Another thing about MR. OPRAH: if he were witty or pointed or had that prophetic sense that marks the best sports writers, we'd shrug it off. Maybe, except he's made millions spouting what others have termed "platitudes." Really, he'd be better pursuing his fiction career, and infinite glory.
OR:
Q. So Mitch Albom was suspended by the Detroit Free Press for fabricating that Mateen Cleaves and Jason Richardson attended the Final Four when, in fact, they weren't there. Should he lose his job? (Steve Jacobson; Richmond)
A. Not that I am about to start the Mitch Albom Legal Defense Fund, but I wouldn't fire him over this. I'd just make him read "Tuesdays With Morrie."
OOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooh!
By the way, FREEP, what's taking your time? You discovered the evidence but you're afraid to fire him?
AN ADMISSION: In my original post I blasted this guy's writing. I'm not that familiar with it and had no business saying what I said. Also I'll admit I'm mad because of jealousy, a blinding force. If only somebody would publish my writing I could shut up.
OR:
Q. So Mitch Albom was suspended by the Detroit Free Press for fabricating that Mateen Cleaves and Jason Richardson attended the Final Four when, in fact, they weren't there. Should he lose his job? (Steve Jacobson; Richmond)
A. Not that I am about to start the Mitch Albom Legal Defense Fund, but I wouldn't fire him over this. I'd just make him read "Tuesdays With Morrie."
OOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooh!
By the way, FREEP, what's taking your time? You discovered the evidence but you're afraid to fire him?
AN ADMISSION: In my original post I blasted this guy's writing. I'm not that familiar with it and had no business saying what I said. Also I'll admit I'm mad because of jealousy, a blinding force. If only somebody would publish my writing I could shut up.
I thank you, G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER, for this sudden explosion of hits, but why does it have to be on YOUR terms?
Elsewhere the Non-Faith-Faith-Healing Monitor (you brought it on yourselves, with a TRAGEDY) doesn't know whether to ooh and aah that LALA has built a $17 million homeless shelter or tsk-tsk. We wonder whether there's much difference in spirit between the Babbitts who must condo everything and the government agencies who must get their grimy paws on every last dollar, and that seems to be the motivation at work here.
The TRAGEDY is the backdrop.... [Emphasis added]
TRAGEDY. Like Romeo and Juliet, or a beloved family member dying of cancer. With such an overarchingly dishonest mindset Jaysons can fib and BOY TOY MITCHES can post-date columns. One word demonstrates why THIS INDUSTRY WILL NEVER LEARN.
I've updated THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY -- AGAIN.
P. S.
Mental-health experts who have dealt with those directly affected by 9/11 give conflicting views about the ability of fictional accounts of that day to help people recover from grief.
If the Let's-Sacrifice-the-Kids-in-the-Name-of-a-Pseudo-Scientific-Cult Monitor went out of business would anyone suffer except some editors at USAOKAY!!!!!?
TRAGEDY. Like Romeo and Juliet, or a beloved family member dying of cancer. With such an overarchingly dishonest mindset Jaysons can fib and BOY TOY MITCHES can post-date columns. One word demonstrates why THIS INDUSTRY WILL NEVER LEARN.
I've updated THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY -- AGAIN.
P. S.
Mental-health experts who have dealt with those directly affected by 9/11 give conflicting views about the ability of fictional accounts of that day to help people recover from grief.
If the Let's-Sacrifice-the-Kids-in-the-Name-of-a-Pseudo-Scientific-Cult Monitor went out of business would anyone suffer except some editors at USAOKAY!!!!!?
Sunday, April 17, 2005
I think I've found one other reason I hardly ever get hits: Practically every time I hit Site Meter THOSE REPULSIVE EMOTICONS greet me, and I'm convinced their very presence jinxes me, and I wish I could fly Smiley Central to a distant galaxy where it wouldn't bother me or anyone else again.
This is where the TWXSTERS serve themselves ill with this dull Web site and their cockamamie only-subscribers-can-read-the-cover-story shtick. BLUNDER may be America's second most risible rag after THE PAPER OF RE-CORD, but its Web site is well-designed and draws vast attention to itself. TWXSTER rag's, by contrast, is dull looking, has few links and too much emphasis on maroon (as in Bugs's line, "What a maroon!"), and seems to discourage browsing. So we cannot know if this cover plug for ANN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is satire, or designed to make raucous fun of her, or if the TWXSTERS are selling a book. But we do know however bad the rag it deserves a better Web site.
Which will not stop us HIGH-AND-HOLY-CHURCH-GOING NEWS HACKS from CAMPAIGNING:
The profile of a pope who knows how to communicate and to bridge cultural and religious divides fits a number of the 115 cardinals assembling in the conclave that begins Monday. Those contenders include Brazil's Claudio Hummes, Argentina's Jorge Bergoglio and Austria's Christoph Schoenborn.
Both Hummes, 70, and Bergoglio, 68, have been highly visible advocates for the poor, questioning the benefits of globalization and free-market policies.
TRANSLATION: Please, please, PRETTY PLEASE, be for abortions, please, PLEASE!!!!!
Cardinal Roger Mahony of Los Angeles dismissed the possibility of a pope from such countries as France or Germany, where "practically nobody goes to church."
"What we are looking for is how to have the future pope be somebody who represents a dynamic part of the world," Mahony said.
TRANSLATION: Why not a country in a dynamic part of the world where practically nobody goes to church? FURTHER TRANSLATION: Why not ME ME ME ME ME!!!!!
The profile of a pope who knows how to communicate and to bridge cultural and religious divides fits a number of the 115 cardinals assembling in the conclave that begins Monday. Those contenders include Brazil's Claudio Hummes, Argentina's Jorge Bergoglio and Austria's Christoph Schoenborn.
Both Hummes, 70, and Bergoglio, 68, have been highly visible advocates for the poor, questioning the benefits of globalization and free-market policies.
TRANSLATION: Please, please, PRETTY PLEASE, be for abortions, please, PLEASE!!!!!
Cardinal Roger Mahony of Los Angeles dismissed the possibility of a pope from such countries as France or Germany, where "practically nobody goes to church."
"What we are looking for is how to have the future pope be somebody who represents a dynamic part of the world," Mahony said.
TRANSLATION: Why not a country in a dynamic part of the world where practically nobody goes to church? FURTHER TRANSLATION: Why not ME ME ME ME ME!!!!!
I've a hunch the cardinals' conclave resembles a smoke-filled room with crosses, and in ways we might not wish to admit, and as with the smoke-filled rooms of yore the "favorite" may not win.
One reason to be very dubious: Mike's favorite cinematic experience is WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!! The Jesus Slasher Movie.
One reason to be very dubious: Mike's favorite cinematic experience is WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!! The Jesus Slasher Movie.
I too would like to see a more civilized political culture, but it may be difficult with the likes of talk-show hosts, and Chairman YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!, and SNIDELY, and publicity stunts every waking minute, and cable, and the Web, and a whole host of other modern conveniences.
Al Smith said something like, "The cure for the ills of democracy is more democracy." Not less. Whether he meant it does not mean it's false.
Al Smith said something like, "The cure for the ills of democracy is more democracy." Not less. Whether he meant it does not mean it's false.
Subdued DeLay Says Gun Control Supporters Not Bad
A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-AM I ON?
SHUT UP, SNIDELY. We can see you BEHIND THE SCENES.
A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-AM I ON?
SHUT UP, SNIDELY. We can see you BEHIND THE SCENES.
Sorry we were late with your NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK award, Bill, but USAOKAY!!!!! didn't post your press release on its site right away -- EXTREMELY unusual as you BOYS of AL take every chance to INSULT OUR INTELLIGENCE.
So here's your award, Bill! KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECK!!!!!
OR:
Futuristic newspaper leaders must innovate and invest for potential big payoffs 10 or 20 years from now, not just with an eye on the next quarter or the next year.
Sounds like YOU were thinking of NEXT SUNDAY!
So here's your award, Bill! KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECK!!!!!
OR:
Futuristic newspaper leaders must innovate and invest for potential big payoffs 10 or 20 years from now, not just with an eye on the next quarter or the next year.
Sounds like YOU were thinking of NEXT SUNDAY!
For God's -- Your sake, ST. WARREN, how can You and MR. MARK hope to get us MAD...I mean, HOPE TO SELL COPIES with topics like "YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR HEALTH?"
You got LUCAS SPIELBERG in Your future? The Zillion-Dollar Child's Fantasist? (Even if she does work for THE ENEMY, as if one can tell ENEMIES.) Think We can work in some SNIDELY WHIPLASH, and maybe a hot new batch of QUAGMIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!? GOOD! PRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAISE ST. WARREN!
Hope You were able to throw SOMETHING PC in there. We certainly don't want to find out.
You got LUCAS SPIELBERG in Your future? The Zillion-Dollar Child's Fantasist? (Even if she does work for THE ENEMY, as if one can tell ENEMIES.) Think We can work in some SNIDELY WHIPLASH, and maybe a hot new batch of QUAGMIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!? GOOD! PRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAISE ST. WARREN!
Hope You were able to throw SOMETHING PC in there. We certainly don't want to find out.