THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Saturday, July 28, 2007
WaPost throws a tantrum (using a poll) that THE COURT'S TOO CONSERVATIVE!!!!!!!!!!
There's a simple answer, Lenny -- rig an election. You guys always manage.
There's a simple answer, Lenny -- rig an election. You guys always manage.
We never know what JonBoy is up to with his covers. This week here it's "Slaughter in the Jungle", which is asking a lot after the coffee tables were slaughtered by I---M. Elsewhere they're recovering from SECOND LIFE with a story on all those ugly buildings going up in Abu Dhabi and Dubai -- financed by our oil guzzling ("unprecedented boom" = rampant self-defeating speculation), which I suppose is better than running another movie plug. Why not, JonBoy?
Now it's official: BIZWEEK, which gave us the multi-zillionaire the DONALD and the LEGENDARY GENIUS of NEUTRON JACK, confirms SUMNER WILL LIVE FOREVER!!!!!
Who did this interview -- John "Suck-Up" Byrne?
Who did this interview -- John "Suck-Up" Byrne?
Friday, July 27, 2007
``They're doing a lot of licensing agreements,'' said Brad Adgate, research director at Horizon Media Inc., an advertising and marketing company in New York.
How apt for a spinoff of a show that grew "LEGENDARY" tweaking the establishment (ever so slightly to be sure, given who runs this particular establishment).
By the way, has someone been partaking a bit too freely of those Kwik-E-Mart doughnuts?
And speaking of lardbucket:
But in the end, it's really just an old-fashioned family show.
"We're talking about a family who love each other but drive each other crazy … and what I always like to think is that here it is you look at this family on TV, the Simpsons, and you go 'no matter how bad my life is, I'm better off than they are.'"
I'd say this zillionaire has mastered the fine art of bullhockey almost as much as R----T.
How apt for a spinoff of a show that grew "LEGENDARY" tweaking the establishment (ever so slightly to be sure, given who runs this particular establishment).
By the way, has someone been partaking a bit too freely of those Kwik-E-Mart doughnuts?
And speaking of lardbucket:
But in the end, it's really just an old-fashioned family show.
"We're talking about a family who love each other but drive each other crazy … and what I always like to think is that here it is you look at this family on TV, the Simpsons, and you go 'no matter how bad my life is, I'm better off than they are.'"
I'd say this zillionaire has mastered the fine art of bullhockey almost as much as R----T.
We hope America's luxury news suites feel MIGHTY good if the BANCROFTS do their noble deed, for it's going to be a very EXPENSIVE morale boost.
(Via the usual Romy, who's very busy this afternoon with media greatness)
(Via the usual Romy, who's very busy this afternoon with media greatness)
A BOO-BOO STRIKES ONE OF AMERICA'S LEADING NEWSMEN:
Stephen Colbert Breaks Wrist on Set
Now when do the onanists of punditry and blogging start beating the living daylights out of THIS?
P. S. Thankfully it wasn't His nose, or else we'd have an excuse for all those anchorpoop FACELIFTS -- all the better to serenade HELICOPTER REPORTING by.
Stephen Colbert Breaks Wrist on Set
Now when do the onanists of punditry and blogging start beating the living daylights out of THIS?
P. S. Thankfully it wasn't His nose, or else we'd have an excuse for all those anchorpoop FACELIFTS -- all the better to serenade HELICOPTER REPORTING by.
"This is one of those cases where fear is worse than reality."
But just as the WALL STREET CASINO can make everyone a millionaire by avoiding reality, so it can create a depression likewise.
But just as the WALL STREET CASINO can make everyone a millionaire by avoiding reality, so it can create a depression likewise.
We should count ourselves lucky that the battle of local broadcast one-upmanship in the air hasn't claimed more lives. It's a wonder (just to cite two examples) there weren't midair collisions during the reportorial wet dreams of South Central and O. J. And this sort of thing won't stop, because mindlessly pursuing stories from the air is a time filler and a profit center.
That we're likely to get sick jokes out of this -- well at least they got some TERRIFIC FOOTAGE! -- and climaxing in the terrific footage itself, can only add to our disgust.
(Via the usual Romy)
P. S.
The helicopters collided while covering a police pursuit of a man in a construction truck.
That must have been REALLY IMPORTANT NEWS to sacrifice FOUR LIVES.
P. P. S.
The suspect in that chase is currently barricaded inside a West Valley home near 83rd Avenue and Thomas Road.
And not just deaths -- do you think we can add hindering police work to our résumé?
P. P. P. S. At least it happened on a Friday afternoon, before the Howie Hairshirts and Jonny Hairshirts could start caterwauling of ETHICS.
P. P. P. P. S.
FAA spokesman Ian Gregor said the FAA is reviewing air traffic control tapes to see if pilots were talking to controllers at that time.
"Typically air traffic controllers clear helicopters into an area where they can cover a chase like this," Gregor said. "Once they are in the area, the pilots themselves are responsible for keeping themselves separated from other aircraft."
TRANSLATION: Only the pilots' skills stand between them and catastrophe.
Also, there was thankfully no video of the collision itself, so at least we'll be spared sick jokes.
I'm making a lot of this story because it's so typical of media's excesses and faults -- and no matter how excessive and faulty the goons who run our media can never admit to their culpability.
For the record, we removed a reference to the accident that killed Sen. Heinz because it did not involve helicopter traffic reporting, as we said in our original posting.
That we're likely to get sick jokes out of this -- well at least they got some TERRIFIC FOOTAGE! -- and climaxing in the terrific footage itself, can only add to our disgust.
(Via the usual Romy)
P. S.
The helicopters collided while covering a police pursuit of a man in a construction truck.
That must have been REALLY IMPORTANT NEWS to sacrifice FOUR LIVES.
P. P. S.
The suspect in that chase is currently barricaded inside a West Valley home near 83rd Avenue and Thomas Road.
And not just deaths -- do you think we can add hindering police work to our résumé?
P. P. P. S. At least it happened on a Friday afternoon, before the Howie Hairshirts and Jonny Hairshirts could start caterwauling of ETHICS.
P. P. P. P. S.
FAA spokesman Ian Gregor said the FAA is reviewing air traffic control tapes to see if pilots were talking to controllers at that time.
"Typically air traffic controllers clear helicopters into an area where they can cover a chase like this," Gregor said. "Once they are in the area, the pilots themselves are responsible for keeping themselves separated from other aircraft."
TRANSLATION: Only the pilots' skills stand between them and catastrophe.
Also, there was thankfully no video of the collision itself, so at least we'll be spared sick jokes.
I'm making a lot of this story because it's so typical of media's excesses and faults -- and no matter how excessive and faulty the goons who run our media can never admit to their culpability.
For the record, we removed a reference to the accident that killed Sen. Heinz because it did not involve helicopter traffic reporting, as we said in our original posting.
Philly Mayor Criticized for Low Profile
Sorry, a fellow hot for an iPhone does not exactly cut a low profile.
Sorry, a fellow hot for an iPhone does not exactly cut a low profile.
This nascent debate over whether Republicans should show for HistoricYouTube Debate II begs the point. The presidential campaign has become the electoral equivalent of Bataan, requiring candidates to face unending humiliations they wouldn't and shouldn't have before; but because the whole "process" hinges on participating for participation's sake, and because hacks are obsessed with the candidates having a "sense of humor" even though they haven't an atom of one themselves, and being people of the pee-PUL despite their own naked living fear of human contact, slog the candidates must to each new depredation.
I suppose it isn't long before the Comic-Con organizers start organizing an intense tug of war among cities to get them to pony up hundreds of millions to emcee the event, proof in itself America has gone off its collective rocker.
And you can bet the hacks won't report on the story as they'll be in on the action.
And you can bet the hacks won't report on the story as they'll be in on the action.
Former Soviet president Mikhail Gorbachev criticized the United States, and President Bush in particular, on Friday for sowing disorder across the world by seeking to build an empire.
1. Belly Kisser. 2. And how many years have you been out of office, world-saver?
The typists will eagerly bestow him all the hosannas they had to issue to Reagan against their will.
1. Belly Kisser. 2. And how many years have you been out of office, world-saver?
The typists will eagerly bestow him all the hosannas they had to issue to Reagan against their will.
Another miracle from Second Life:
In Second Life, it's relatively easy to build chairs, buildings and other objects for avatars to sit on or walk through. Tools like wrenches or manual controls are also easy to build and, with a little tweaking, users can control them with a Wiimote.
"This may be one of the most significant things about Second Life," says Stone. "It is a world of abundance. People share. What would the real world be like if your house and car and all your furniture, et cetera, was available for free or for pennies?"
1. No more yard sales; and 2. Couches might look like the ones in chain bookstores. [Link via ArtsJournal]
In Second Life, it's relatively easy to build chairs, buildings and other objects for avatars to sit on or walk through. Tools like wrenches or manual controls are also easy to build and, with a little tweaking, users can control them with a Wiimote.
"This may be one of the most significant things about Second Life," says Stone. "It is a world of abundance. People share. What would the real world be like if your house and car and all your furniture, et cetera, was available for free or for pennies?"
1. No more yard sales; and 2. Couches might look like the ones in chain bookstores. [Link via ArtsJournal]
Religious revival at Comic-Con:
Nimoy to Reprise Spock Role in Trek Film
Not only has THE CONSPIRACY run out of ideas, it's run out of actors.
Nimoy to Reprise Spock Role in Trek Film
Not only has THE CONSPIRACY run out of ideas, it's run out of actors.
AN OPEN LETTER TO TWO DIMWITS:
Ron Varrial
Editor
Eric Mayberry
Publisher
Metro Philadelphia
30 S. 15th St.
Philadelphia, PA 19102
Dear Messrs. Varrial and Mayberry:
It is bad enough having you news hacks tell me how to think. Worse is when you tell me what to buy. It is not enough that this blazing insult to my intelligence carries a hed bigger than anything you've run in the last few years, nor that it takes up more space than many newsworthy stories. No, this is worse: an ad masquerading as a story. Such fraudulence is why you hacks are held in lower regard than used-car salesmen. You may think being distributed gratis clears you from having to act responsibly, but it doesn't. Nor can you excuse the buffoonery by the fact you run wire copy and three interns. And when the damned fools at the Tower of Babble on North Broad run their sectional-front ads they have the alibi of being paid. Advertising as "news" reeks like a free whorehouse.
And those of us who step on your rag going to work don't even have the luxury of boycotting you. You've become like city hall, something we can't fight. At the very least realize many of those who read your used Bounty read nothing else, and they deserve better -- even if you don't.
Yours,
[Eugene David]
(Our hero appears in a small corner of Metro New York, which is unobjectionable -- but then a big stock market drop may have concentrated its "editors'" minds wonderfully.)
Ron Varrial
Editor
Eric Mayberry
Publisher
Metro Philadelphia
30 S. 15th St.
Philadelphia, PA 19102
Dear Messrs. Varrial and Mayberry:
It is bad enough having you news hacks tell me how to think. Worse is when you tell me what to buy. It is not enough that this blazing insult to my intelligence carries a hed bigger than anything you've run in the last few years, nor that it takes up more space than many newsworthy stories. No, this is worse: an ad masquerading as a story. Such fraudulence is why you hacks are held in lower regard than used-car salesmen. You may think being distributed gratis clears you from having to act responsibly, but it doesn't. Nor can you excuse the buffoonery by the fact you run wire copy and three interns. And when the damned fools at the Tower of Babble on North Broad run their sectional-front ads they have the alibi of being paid. Advertising as "news" reeks like a free whorehouse.
And those of us who step on your rag going to work don't even have the luxury of boycotting you. You've become like city hall, something we can't fight. At the very least realize many of those who read your used Bounty read nothing else, and they deserve better -- even if you don't.
Yours,
[Eugene David]
(Our hero appears in a small corner of Metro New York, which is unobjectionable -- but then a big stock market drop may have concentrated its "editors'" minds wonderfully.)
Thursday, July 26, 2007
"As anyone can plainly see, I'm 5-6 1/2 and a strapping 150, and unlike some people, I came by all of it naturally."
HA!* HA!* HA!* HA!*
HA!* HA!* HA!* HA!*
We have not commented on the "Scott Thomas" brouhaha because it had the marks of another manufactured controversy, but we'll say this: both sides heard what they wanted to hear -- liberals who wanted to hear our soldiers were apes, conservatives who wanted to hear only a fake would say a few of our soldiers might be apes. A PLAGUE O' BOTH YOUR HOUSES as usual.
And why does Jo-NAH explode every time someone calls him a chickenhawk? Sorry, we can see that guy using his vast connections to avoid the draft too. (In fairness, however, we can see the TNR gang pulling a few strings also. A PLAGUE O'...never mind.)
And why does Jo-NAH explode every time someone calls him a chickenhawk? Sorry, we can see that guy using his vast connections to avoid the draft too. (In fairness, however, we can see the TNR gang pulling a few strings also. A PLAGUE O'...never mind.)
Edwards Proposes Raising Top Capital Gains Rate to 28 Percent
Sen. Busy Comb is a ninny, and it's in his interest to play to the rabble, and it's exquisitely well-timed, too; nonetheless, only con-SER-va-tives and GEKKO KUDLOWS believe things like paying CEOs 10,000 times their average charge's salary aren't a problem.
SIX OF ONE....
Sen. Busy Comb is a ninny, and it's in his interest to play to the rabble, and it's exquisitely well-timed, too; nonetheless, only con-SER-va-tives and GEKKO KUDLOWS believe things like paying CEOs 10,000 times their average charge's salary aren't a problem.
SIX OF ONE....
ST. WARREN opines on the future of ONLINE JERNALISM:
"The ideal combination would be if The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal and the Post had a joint Web site, and you couldn't get any one individually. That, you could sell for a fair amount of money, and it would have one hell of a readership."
Hell St., You already own 18 percent of WaPost; it wouldn't take that much to buy the rest, and PAPEROFRECORDCO, and You were always rumored to buy Dow Jones. So just buy all three of them and start a combined Web site! You'd make millions of readers happy.
How wise would ST. be if He hadn't invested in 1965?
(Via the inevitable Romy)
"The ideal combination would be if The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal and the Post had a joint Web site, and you couldn't get any one individually. That, you could sell for a fair amount of money, and it would have one hell of a readership."
Hell St., You already own 18 percent of WaPost; it wouldn't take that much to buy the rest, and PAPEROFRECORDCO, and You were always rumored to buy Dow Jones. So just buy all three of them and start a combined Web site! You'd make millions of readers happy.
How wise would ST. be if He hadn't invested in 1965?
(Via the inevitable Romy)
Raul Castro: Fidel's Illness a Blow
We don't know to whom or to what; even from a sickbed He's running the country into the ground as usual.
We don't know to whom or to what; even from a sickbed He's running the country into the ground as usual.
This sort of thing must happen every month in every city: Some councilman or whatever makes a racially charged imitation of a colicky baby, of scarce interest even within said city, which nonetheless gets him booted from the chamber to the sound of rapturous applause from the usual types. If our city council dimwits spent as much time governing as making verbal firebombs our cities be the best governed places in the world.
Those separated-at-birth twins Slashdot and Ain't It Cool News will go nuts:
'Blade Runner' gets final cut
DVD set will include five versions of Scott pic
So why revisit the movie after all this time? Maligned and misunderstood in its day, "Blade Runner" actually established much of the aesthetic that defines cinematic sci-fi, from the movie's wet-streets, neon-and-steam look to the grim, pessimistic tone gleaned from Philip K. Dick's dystopian novel "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?"
TRANSLATION: This is the wellspring of all in movies today that's BAD.
To those who believe big business is better than big government because it makes money:
ExxonMobil Sends Man 2,000 Credit Cards
P. S. at 6:30 p.m. A fitting story on the day XOM helped give the WALL STREET FAIRYLAND a shellacking.
ExxonMobil Sends Man 2,000 Credit Cards
P. S. at 6:30 p.m. A fitting story on the day XOM helped give the WALL STREET FAIRYLAND a shellacking.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Roger Kimball's slashing attack on the "art" world is so rich and savory it will not to quote a crumb of a sentence or two, but he has come up with two perfect mottos for our age:
As W. S. Gilbert knew, when everybody’s somebody, nobody’s anybody.
TRANSLATION: YouTube and blogging.
Sooner or later, even the Leon Botsteins and Marieluise Hessels of the world will realize that the character in Bruce Nauman’s “Good Boy, Bad Boy” was right: “this is boring.”
TRANSLATION: YouTube, blogging, e-mail, instant messaging, social networking, virtual worlds, videogames, obsessive downloading and file sharing, and everything else high-tech.
That these mottoes apply brilliantly to art it goes without saying, but somehow the tech angle is unavoidable.
As W. S. Gilbert knew, when everybody’s somebody, nobody’s anybody.
TRANSLATION: YouTube and blogging.
Sooner or later, even the Leon Botsteins and Marieluise Hessels of the world will realize that the character in Bruce Nauman’s “Good Boy, Bad Boy” was right: “this is boring.”
TRANSLATION: YouTube, blogging, e-mail, instant messaging, social networking, virtual worlds, videogames, obsessive downloading and file sharing, and everything else high-tech.
That these mottoes apply brilliantly to art it goes without saying, but somehow the tech angle is unavoidable.
LORD STEVE IS GOD AGAIN!!!!!
I wish I knew why this sort of thing isn't a repeat of the dotcom idiocy. How do stocks become the financial fountain of youth? What is behind these sensations but hyperbole -- and I don't care how profitable LORD STEVE'S HEAVEN is, it wouldn't be profitable except that no company has ever done a better job pasting America with PR, and having a pliant press act as an advertising agency.
I wish I knew why this sort of thing isn't a repeat of the dotcom idiocy. How do stocks become the financial fountain of youth? What is behind these sensations but hyperbole -- and I don't care how profitable LORD STEVE'S HEAVEN is, it wouldn't be profitable except that no company has ever done a better job pasting America with PR, and having a pliant press act as an advertising agency.
To quote from a former pre-Steve Ross People Inc.-er (Steve who?) named Agee, PEOPLEWARNERGOSSIP.com deserves "to walk alone, tinkle a little bell and cry 'Unclean, unclean.'"
When JonBoy piled on with that load of BS about Second Life you came to realize why you hate news hacks -- and of course it wasn't the whole story:
Second Life partisans claim meteoric growth, with the number of "residents," or avatars created, surpassing 7 million in June. There's no question that more and more people are trying Second Life, but that figure turns out to be wildly misleading. For starters, many people make more than one avatar. According to Linden Lab, the company behind Second Life, the number of avatars created by distinct individuals was closer to 4 million. Of those, only about 1 million had logged on in the previous 30 days (the standard measure of Internet traffic), and barely a third of that total had bothered to drop by in the previous week. Most of those who did were from Europe or Asia, leaving a little more than 100,000 Americans per week to be targeted by US marketers. [Emphasis added]
Moreover being "successful" in Second Life has its occupational hazards:
Last winter, CNET's in-world correspondent was conducting a live interview with Anshe Chung, an avatar said to have earned more than $1 million on virtual real estate deals, when Chung was assaulted by flying penises in a griefer attack.
Years from now virtual worlds may be important -- we fear so -- but we'd guess it will take that long to perfect the technology, and by then people may feel a certain irony in spending so much time avoiding real people to congregate with fake ones. As for JonBoy, we wish we could think up our own griefer attack, but that would be useless as he's already instigated one on the public with his FLYING BS.
Second Life partisans claim meteoric growth, with the number of "residents," or avatars created, surpassing 7 million in June. There's no question that more and more people are trying Second Life, but that figure turns out to be wildly misleading. For starters, many people make more than one avatar. According to Linden Lab, the company behind Second Life, the number of avatars created by distinct individuals was closer to 4 million. Of those, only about 1 million had logged on in the previous 30 days (the standard measure of Internet traffic), and barely a third of that total had bothered to drop by in the previous week. Most of those who did were from Europe or Asia, leaving a little more than 100,000 Americans per week to be targeted by US marketers. [Emphasis added]
Moreover being "successful" in Second Life has its occupational hazards:
Last winter, CNET's in-world correspondent was conducting a live interview with Anshe Chung, an avatar said to have earned more than $1 million on virtual real estate deals, when Chung was assaulted by flying penises in a griefer attack.
Years from now virtual worlds may be important -- we fear so -- but we'd guess it will take that long to perfect the technology, and by then people may feel a certain irony in spending so much time avoiding real people to congregate with fake ones. As for JonBoy, we wish we could think up our own griefer attack, but that would be useless as he's already instigated one on the public with his FLYING BS.
I hate myself: Today at 15th and Sansom a middle-aged woman grabbed firm hold of my wrist and asked me to help her across the street. She said she'd sprained her ankle. As she forced me to follow her to the curb cut she mentioned a brain tumor. At that point I imagined the dread words about change, and I angrily broke away and she gave me a less than affectionate tap on my behind.
Maybe she just needed someone to help her cross the street. But that same intersection is a favorite for people who sit on milk cartons and sleep on grates (at least someone slept on a grate there until a manhole cover replaced it). It's a block beyond one of the city's favorite meeting places for vagrants. I don't like being cold and hard. But I don't like people begging me for money, or even behaving in a manner that threatens it. And having someone grab your wrist, even in a busy disorienting intersection, may not engender merciful feelings. What was I to do?
Maybe she just needed someone to help her cross the street. But that same intersection is a favorite for people who sit on milk cartons and sleep on grates (at least someone slept on a grate there until a manhole cover replaced it). It's a block beyond one of the city's favorite meeting places for vagrants. I don't like being cold and hard. But I don't like people begging me for money, or even behaving in a manner that threatens it. And having someone grab your wrist, even in a busy disorienting intersection, may not engender merciful feelings. What was I to do?
The feds are looking through the blueprints of the Bridge to Nowhere's architect.
Now if only he and The Great Alaskan Boar could go to prison together.
Now if only he and The Great Alaskan Boar could go to prison together.
HENRY BLODGET!!!!!!!!!! says MySpace is doing $1 BILLION IN BUSINESS A YEAR!!!!!!!!!! Somebody named Douglas McIntyre seconds that -- and goes so far as to praise Henry in a comment!
If you-scratch-my-back's a reason the DOW's in the stratosphere this balloon's heading to earth.
If you-scratch-my-back's a reason the DOW's in the stratosphere this balloon's heading to earth.
A SLIME typist has doubts about -- THE MOVIE?????
SLIME's SYNERGY does make us momentarily sympathetic to the JOURNALSISTS' cause. Yes, His papers may be "livelier", but at a cost -- the cost of being tacky promotional vehicles, the cost of table-pounding falsehoods, the cost of insulting His readers. That the JOURNALSISTS are right on this score, however, does not make them any less unappetizingly sanctimonious.
SLIME's SYNERGY does make us momentarily sympathetic to the JOURNALSISTS' cause. Yes, His papers may be "livelier", but at a cost -- the cost of being tacky promotional vehicles, the cost of table-pounding falsehoods, the cost of insulting His readers. That the JOURNALSISTS are right on this score, however, does not make them any less unappetizingly sanctimonious.
One way of putting it:
Messrs Murdoch and Redstone are living treasures of capitalism, infinitely more interesting characters involved in far more fascinating plots than any that appear on the TV networks they own. Enjoy them while they last.
That doesn't say much for Their Empires, does it.
(Via IWantMedia)
Messrs Murdoch and Redstone are living treasures of capitalism, infinitely more interesting characters involved in far more fascinating plots than any that appear on the TV networks they own. Enjoy them while they last.
That doesn't say much for Their Empires, does it.
(Via IWantMedia)
Boomer Esiason (!) may replace the Drunken Slob, who evidently isn't coming back to SUMNERDOM.
The "nappy-headed hos" have seen their day -- unless Drunken's coterie can renew their lease.
The "nappy-headed hos" have seen their day -- unless Drunken's coterie can renew their lease.
430 NKoreans Die of Hunger in Past Month
So please, send us food -- which we can give to the army and to keep our nuc -- to keep our nation strong!
So please, send us food -- which we can give to the army and to keep our nuc -- to keep our nation strong!
Shucks, Ward Churchill's fired, despite his penchant for telling "the truth."
One down and -- how many thousands to go?
See you in court!
One down and -- how many thousands to go?
See you in court!
And to the idiots at "Dow Jones, Inc." who still imagine a white knight galloping to their rescue in spite of all:
Tribune profit dives 58% on charges, print softness
Tribune profit dives 58% on charges, print softness
And in the capitol of news truth and justice, more love for -- GOLDSTEIN:
At around noon on Tuesday, Geoffrey V. Raymond, a New York based portrait artist, showed up at One World Financial Center, the offices of Dow Jones, Inc. [SIC], with a four-foot-tall painting of Rupert Murdoch's face.
Security officers clapped on their headsets, unsure of the building's regulations for unexpected art exhibitions. After some deliberation they sent him curbside, where he remained for the rest of the afternoon.
"I have carved a niche out of painting controversial Wall Street figures," Mr. Raymond said, standing proudly next to his latest, “The Annotated Murdoch.” With the face centered on the canvas, passersby stopped to write their thoughts around the border with magic markers that Mr. Raymond provided. A red marker was reserved for Dow Jones employees.
A self-described cross between Jackson Pollack and Chuck Close, Mr. Raymond has created images of former New York Stock Exchange chairman Richard Grasso and Goldman Sachs chief Lloyd Blankfein. He said he is currently working on a portrait of CNBC reporter Maria Bartiromo (nickname, “Money Honey”) as the Virgin Mary. He said he chose to paint Mr. Murdoch because of his internal anxiety about the potential Dow Jones take over.
"The acquisition of The Wall Street Journal by somebody like Rupert Murdoch is certainly cause for concern,” he said. “I find it ratifying that people want to write on my painting.”
By mid-afternoon around 30 commenters ratified Mr. Raymond’s reconstitution of Mr. Murdoch.
“I don't care,” scrawled one strangely apathetic passerby. “Keep the WSJ out of this scumbag's hands” wrote a more opinionated signatory.
“We want truth liberty and the American way," one Dow Jones employee wrote, while another complained, "Fox News is no news."
On the center of the canvas in red ink were written the words, "news is sacred."
Joshua Prager, a senior special writer at The Wall Street Journal, approached the canvas to write the legend: “Unfair and Imbalanced, stay away.”
“I think people have a lot to say and a lot of thoughts to express,” Mr. Prager said. “This is just another outlet for them to do so.”
Mr. Raymond said that lots of Dow Jones employees had looked at the painting, but only five had actually written on it by mid-afternoon.
He said one employee had begun writing but stopped when he saw his editor walking by.
"I think there's a degree of corporate paranoia," Mr. Raymond said.
Mr. Raymond plans to stand outside of Dow Jones everyday this week, weather permitting, and will measure his success in graffiti.
And then he’ll put the painting up for sale on Ebay, starting the bidding at $3,500.
"It only takes two rich guys to make the action a success," Mr. Raymond said with a smile.
LONG LIVE TRUTH AND JUSTICE IN REPORTING!!!!! LONG LIVE THE WALL STREET JOURNALS!!!!!
These clowns might merit a graf in the DSM.
At around noon on Tuesday, Geoffrey V. Raymond, a New York based portrait artist, showed up at One World Financial Center, the offices of Dow Jones, Inc. [SIC], with a four-foot-tall painting of Rupert Murdoch's face.
Security officers clapped on their headsets, unsure of the building's regulations for unexpected art exhibitions. After some deliberation they sent him curbside, where he remained for the rest of the afternoon.
"I have carved a niche out of painting controversial Wall Street figures," Mr. Raymond said, standing proudly next to his latest, “The Annotated Murdoch.” With the face centered on the canvas, passersby stopped to write their thoughts around the border with magic markers that Mr. Raymond provided. A red marker was reserved for Dow Jones employees.
A self-described cross between Jackson Pollack and Chuck Close, Mr. Raymond has created images of former New York Stock Exchange chairman Richard Grasso and Goldman Sachs chief Lloyd Blankfein. He said he is currently working on a portrait of CNBC reporter Maria Bartiromo (nickname, “Money Honey”) as the Virgin Mary. He said he chose to paint Mr. Murdoch because of his internal anxiety about the potential Dow Jones take over.
"The acquisition of The Wall Street Journal by somebody like Rupert Murdoch is certainly cause for concern,” he said. “I find it ratifying that people want to write on my painting.”
By mid-afternoon around 30 commenters ratified Mr. Raymond’s reconstitution of Mr. Murdoch.
“I don't care,” scrawled one strangely apathetic passerby. “Keep the WSJ out of this scumbag's hands” wrote a more opinionated signatory.
“We want truth liberty and the American way," one Dow Jones employee wrote, while another complained, "Fox News is no news."
On the center of the canvas in red ink were written the words, "news is sacred."
Joshua Prager, a senior special writer at The Wall Street Journal, approached the canvas to write the legend: “Unfair and Imbalanced, stay away.”
“I think people have a lot to say and a lot of thoughts to express,” Mr. Prager said. “This is just another outlet for them to do so.”
Mr. Raymond said that lots of Dow Jones employees had looked at the painting, but only five had actually written on it by mid-afternoon.
He said one employee had begun writing but stopped when he saw his editor walking by.
"I think there's a degree of corporate paranoia," Mr. Raymond said.
Mr. Raymond plans to stand outside of Dow Jones everyday this week, weather permitting, and will measure his success in graffiti.
And then he’ll put the painting up for sale on Ebay, starting the bidding at $3,500.
"It only takes two rich guys to make the action a success," Mr. Raymond said with a smile.
LONG LIVE TRUTH AND JUSTICE IN REPORTING!!!!! LONG LIVE THE WALL STREET JOURNALS!!!!!
These clowns might merit a graf in the DSM.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
And of course we answer all those COMMIES who want to socialize the drug biz with this foot stomper for its right to charge whatever it damn well -- for those who want FREE EN-TER-PRISE unchecked.
Is any topic immune from mutually oblivious lobbying?
Is any topic immune from mutually oblivious lobbying?
Sen. Law-and-Order hasn't announced yet and already he's "shaking up" his campaign staff?
Hoo-boy, this is going to be some election.
Hoo-boy, this is going to be some election.
And it is harder to expect a sincere apology from pols when SUMNER and MOONER offer one up in 108 pages of .pdf.
(Via B&C)
(Via B&C)
Really:
The Atlanta Falcons on Tuesday said they did not anticipate star quarterback Michael Vick's indictment on charges related to dogfighting.
What did you expect? That he'd get a community-service award? How long has this been out there?
Meantime the NBA's commish does the only thing he can (or should): hang his head.
The Atlanta Falcons on Tuesday said they did not anticipate star quarterback Michael Vick's indictment on charges related to dogfighting.
What did you expect? That he'd get a community-service award? How long has this been out there?
Meantime the NBA's commish does the only thing he can (or should): hang his head.
Shares of Apple Inc. fell sharply Tuesday after AT&T Inc. issued initial subscriber numbers for customers of Apple’s iPhone that were below analyst estimates.
NO!!!!!!!!!! The Lord $teve Job$ ISN'T GOD!
In addition, a telecommunications analyst issued a report before the opening bell that said demand for the device at retail outlets has seen a "significant decline" in recent days.
The former god's going to HAVE to brush up on his heaven-and-earth creating!
NO!!!!!!!!!! The Lord $teve Job$ ISN'T GOD!
In addition, a telecommunications analyst issued a report before the opening bell that said demand for the device at retail outlets has seen a "significant decline" in recent days.
The former god's going to HAVE to brush up on his heaven-and-earth creating!
NOW on the PEOPLE WARNER FLAGSHIP home page:
Lawyer: Lindsay 'Relapsed,' Is Getting 'Medical Care'
Lindsay Lohan Arrested for DUI – Again
Lindsay's Tonight Show Appearance Canceled
Is PEOPLE WARNER preparing for the next -- you-know-who?
Lawyer: Lindsay 'Relapsed,' Is Getting 'Medical Care'
Lindsay Lohan Arrested for DUI – Again
Lindsay's Tonight Show Appearance Canceled
Is PEOPLE WARNER preparing for the next -- you-know-who?
Alter: How superficial has our country become?
Enough to make Jonny the Head Scratcher look like a deep thinker?
Enough to make Jonny the Head Scratcher look like a deep thinker?
We don't know why LALA is in such a big huff about "comedians" stealing each others' jokes -- especially when (as we said before in a related story) the robbery is funnier than the jokes.
And how big is the market for stand-up comedy outside the boxing trade?
And how big is the market for stand-up comedy outside the boxing trade?
When that flutey-voiced snowman asked our presidential candidates a question, I made up my mind that this YouTube debate has been tremendous. Some of the questions -- I'm thinking of Pastor Reggie -- have been tough, but it also served the purpose of accomplishing what Mike Gravel has been crabbily begging for all night: More air time for lunatics.
I guess that's what "excellent" means.
By the way, I've a hunch the numbers who watched it were dwarfed by the numbers who commented on it.
P. S. at 6:42 p.m. 2.6 million, so it appears we were right.
I guess that's what "excellent" means.
By the way, I've a hunch the numbers who watched it were dwarfed by the numbers who commented on it.
P. S. at 6:42 p.m. 2.6 million, so it appears we were right.
Monday, July 23, 2007
At least somebody gets it:
Even in Hollywood, where blame gets passed around like a viral video, there's little disagreement about the generally punchless condition of most prime-time sitcoms over the last decade. "Most of them haven't been funny," said Grammer, who plays an egocentric news anchor on his way down the ladder of success. "It's just that simple."
Even in Hollywood, where blame gets passed around like a viral video, there's little disagreement about the generally punchless condition of most prime-time sitcoms over the last decade. "Most of them haven't been funny," said Grammer, who plays an egocentric news anchor on his way down the ladder of success. "It's just that simple."
I don't know which is more irritating -- reading PR about ROWLINGCORP or reading PR about how YouTube will change elections.
Gonzales vows to stay to fix Justice Department
Isn't that sort of like "you broke it, you pay for it"?
Isn't that sort of like "you broke it, you pay for it"?
When we think of it -- and we try not to -- JFK's assassination gives us pause because so much bad came after it, and it will not ameliorate the discomfort to call it the "demise of liberalism", for a selfish bastard dwarf offspring has run it ever since -- but before we blame the assassin we should remember who ran our country into the ground thereafter. Lincoln's death was followed by ciphers while the country was blithely ruled by despots of the dollar, and America was still on the upswing. Hence Henry Adams could talk of our national amnesia of it and the two assassinations that followed. We weren't as lucky in the sixties; leadership would have deprived our national crisis of its oxygen, but instead of leadership we got two textbook examples of craven borderline-psychotic paranoia. We should not think the disaster that followed 11/22/1963 was unique; the Brits found a way to run the Subcontinent into the ground in a stroke that made those twin blowhard failures microscopic in their incompetence by comparison. But then the whole 20th century was a disaster, starting with that damfool murder of some archduke and for all practical purposes ending with 9/11, an obscenity that visits the failures of the last on ours.
Did the New Yorker's Jeffrey Frank examine the Romenesko Memos page before writing his editor's memo?
Maybe -- and that should make you wince too, Romy.
Maybe -- and that should make you wince too, Romy.
Perhaps the more important lesson is that today's most cutting-edge, young female audience (aka the audience Jane was created for), doesn't want to be dictated by anyone.
It started with my generation: I wanted to be Jane Pratt. I didn't care what sweater she wanted me to buy. I wanted to live out loud. And today's young women are living louder than ever before. So loud, in fact, that many of them don't want to listen to anyone ... except themselves.
Do we have a new Candace "EW! YUCK!! GROSS!!!" Bushnell in the making?
It started with my generation: I wanted to be Jane Pratt. I didn't care what sweater she wanted me to buy. I wanted to live out loud. And today's young women are living louder than ever before. So loud, in fact, that many of them don't want to listen to anyone ... except themselves.
Do we have a new Candace "EW! YUCK!! GROSS!!!" Bushnell in the making?
Clinton did not demand an end to federal raids on undocumented immigrants. Obama would not guarantee a visit to the immigrant-heavy agricultural area of California's Central Valley in between his fundraising trips to Los Angeles.
This, we're sure, is what the hacks would call courage.
This, we're sure, is what the hacks would call courage.
The World's Oldest Adolescent's successor says sanctions against Iran are working -- indeed they're working so well he might call for more sanctions!
Prepare to fire wet noodles!
Prepare to fire wet noodles!
When ADAM!!!!!!!!!!!'s substitute philosopher-brain KURT!!!!!!!!!! starts an article like this:
Life is unfair. And we Americans prefer it that way.
...we know to stop reading. Why? Perhaps because KURT!!!!!!!!!! is such an expert at saying something when he has nothing to say. Perhaps because KURT!!!!!!!!!! tries to make such a big show of being engaged when he's so disengaged. Perhaps because KURT!!!!!!!!!!'s coasted along on his rep for decades and has never had it challenged. Perhaps because we just don't want to read KURT!!!!!!!!!!
Life is unfair. And we Americans prefer it that way.
...we know to stop reading. Why? Perhaps because KURT!!!!!!!!!! is such an expert at saying something when he has nothing to say. Perhaps because KURT!!!!!!!!!! tries to make such a big show of being engaged when he's so disengaged. Perhaps because KURT!!!!!!!!!!'s coasted along on his rep for decades and has never had it challenged. Perhaps because we just don't want to read KURT!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, July 22, 2007
This must be the ASSPress's day to do favors: here it runs a press release for some ticky-tacky developer in the ugly-building capitol of Dubai claiming his tower's taller than that waste-basket pile in Taipei.
Yeah, and let's see how many people really want an "executive office suite" on the 125th floor.
Yeah, and let's see how many people really want an "executive office suite" on the 125th floor.
Here is Exhibit A in the case for putting the news business out of business. We doubt that most of the "facts" here can be independently verified, which didn't stop some cretinous ASSPress publicist from selling them: 8.3 million in 24 hours, "300,000 copies in sales per hour -- more than 50,000 a minute" -- the dimwitted ASSPressian was so hot to merchandise this he/she/it got his/her/its math wrong (and thankfully spread the error all over the Web). Surely there are stories somewhere the ASSPress could pay more attention to, stories of necessity, stories that don't insult our intelligence -- heck this same ASSPress came out with a report on eating disorders among older women, and if it's another tiresome service doohickey at least it might help somebody. This helps nobody but the ROWLING-INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX.
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD to the ASSPRESS and its ANONYMOUS MORON!
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD to the ASSPRESS and its ANONYMOUS MORON!
Here's a combo that doesn't inspire confidence: our Daily Babbitt is gushing at all the high-tech hospitals are buying -- tablet computers! implantable RFID chips! [!!!!!] -- and here the AMA is having a blood-pressure-raising tantrum blasting pharmacy clinics. While we might doubt CVS can do a better job than a local hospital the one thing that has brought medicine in disrepute is its temple-on-the-mount approach, and we suspect all those gadgets will do less good than simple things to let people have more control over their health -- and if it means taking doctors out of the process in a few places, so be it.
Is G.E. Too Big for Its Own Good?
Smart question -- and Nelson engages in a schmoozefest with Little Jeffy and LEGENDARY WELCH that natch doesn't answer it. Of course that pile of assets is too big, it's only in business to be a pile of assets, and it has to remain a pile of assets because otherwise the shareholders might be disappointed. The result is a company that has spun its logos going nowhere.
Smart question -- and Nelson engages in a schmoozefest with Little Jeffy and LEGENDARY WELCH that natch doesn't answer it. Of course that pile of assets is too big, it's only in business to be a pile of assets, and it has to remain a pile of assets because otherwise the shareholders might be disappointed. The result is a company that has spun its logos going nowhere.
Tammy Faye Bakker was the Charo of religion; but where Charo had her hips and her accent Tammy had her make-up and her blubber. She mightily assisted her husband Jim in his fraud but managed to escape censure thanks to being a living cartoon character. She suffered enormously in recent years, and we hope she has found the peace that eluded her in the days she was a mascara-and-tear-stained whirlwind.