THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
Blogroll Me!
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Saturday, February 19, 2005
Ditto this irredeemable piece of USAOKAY!!!!! PR junk about an ESPN reality show.
You know a NEWS HACK'S not being fully honest when he/she/it types, "And ESPN won't publicly disclose the winner's starting salary." These are the same TRUTH SEEKERS who kept the ultimate outcome of that ULTRADWEEB on JEOPARDY!!!!! a secret for so many months while simultaneously disclosing 5,000 classified documents about Iraq.
MORONS.
You know a NEWS HACK'S not being fully honest when he/she/it types, "And ESPN won't publicly disclose the winner's starting salary." These are the same TRUTH SEEKERS who kept the ultimate outcome of that ULTRADWEEB on JEOPARDY!!!!! a secret for so many months while simultaneously disclosing 5,000 classified documents about Iraq.
MORONS.
Some intrepid hack wasted days researching mangas, anime and Hello Kitty to waste our time in reading about them. News hacks wail at bloggers for their difficulties, but judging from the junk they stuff into our heads on the Web, much of the fault is self-inflicted.
Report: Former slugger Canseco owes thousands in back taxes
Well! He can use the proceeds from his LITERARY MASTERPIECE to pay them!
Well! He can use the proceeds from his LITERARY MASTERPIECE to pay them!
When USAOKAY!!!!! uses the word "DRECK" in the hed of a movie review, movies MUST be -- BETTER THAN EVER!
SAMMY GLICKMAN!!!!! When are you going to something about JACK'S ALPHABET SOUP?????
SAMMY GLICKMAN!!!!! When are you going to something about JACK'S ALPHABET SOUP?????
And the next big thing, as STERNO has never ceased to GLOAT before us, is PODCASTING, which means everybody has a TV or radio station, which means everybody broadcasts, which means -- and I do believe I said this once -- everybody (save for the NICK DORKENS and a few other well-connected megalomaniacs) has an audience of ZERO.
Yep, I think I see another TULIP BULB MANIA ahead.
Yep, I think I see another TULIP BULB MANIA ahead.
GASP! People around THE GREATEST ENTERTAINER OF ALL TIME may have engaged in -- INSIDER TRADING!!!!!
Somehow I'm...not surprised -- you have to figure a few of HOWARD's sponsors are on the sleazy side -- and it rather does undercut his and STERNO's lie that the MARTYR of RADIO was forging into the satellite biz for FREE EXPRESSION. No, he was doing it strictly for PAY.
Of course the MARTYR's next shtick will be to say the SEC's doing the FCC's bidding. From the looks of it I'd say your thousands of toadies are doing ZONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN's bidding.
P. S. Nothing on STERNO's site, nor will there be.
Somehow I'm...not surprised -- you have to figure a few of HOWARD's sponsors are on the sleazy side -- and it rather does undercut his and STERNO's lie that the MARTYR of RADIO was forging into the satellite biz for FREE EXPRESSION. No, he was doing it strictly for PAY.
Of course the MARTYR's next shtick will be to say the SEC's doing the FCC's bidding. From the looks of it I'd say your thousands of toadies are doing ZONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN's bidding.
P. S. Nothing on STERNO's site, nor will there be.
Friday, February 18, 2005
Rupert Murdoch Tops List of Speakers for ASNE 2005
TRANSLATION: How the other half lives.
Dubya may attend -- or he may not. Not that he has to. ANSE's proud membership can do a very good supposition.
TRANSLATION: How the other half lives.
Dubya may attend -- or he may not. Not that he has to. ANSE's proud membership can do a very good supposition.
If I didn't know better -- and I must admit I don't -- I'd say the PRETERNATURALLY BUGGY G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER is preventing me from logging onto OTHER WEB SITES!!!!!
LOOKING TO DOUBLE YOUR SHARE PRICE IN A WEEK, CLEM KADIDDLEHOPPERS?
LOOKING TO DOUBLE YOUR SHARE PRICE IN A WEEK, CLEM KADIDDLEHOPPERS?
The story of the phony White House reporter who called himself Jeff Gannon just gets curiouser and curiouser every day -- and shows no sign of abating.
While the stories of BLATHERGATE and EASON...well, let's just say it took a while before we latched onto those.
While the stories of BLATHERGATE and EASON...well, let's just say it took a while before we latched onto those.
Another resounding endorsement of advertising:
Campbell Soup Co., the world's largest soupmaker, reported steady earnings on higher sales for its second fiscal quarter which includes some cold months when soup sales generally rise. Its shares fell more than 3 percent....
A higher cost of producing the products and increased spending on marketing kept profits from rising.
Campbell Soup Co., the world's largest soupmaker, reported steady earnings on higher sales for its second fiscal quarter which includes some cold months when soup sales generally rise. Its shares fell more than 3 percent....
A higher cost of producing the products and increased spending on marketing kept profits from rising.
In the past several days, we've seen some performance problems with Blogger.
THAT'S PUTTING IT MILDLY.
So what's G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER's solution? Log out and shut down your browser! What happens if you get errors and freeze-ups every time you log on?
WHAT'S YOUR LATEST STOCK PRICE?
THAT'S PUTTING IT MILDLY.
So what's G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER's solution? Log out and shut down your browser! What happens if you get errors and freeze-ups every time you log on?
WHAT'S YOUR LATEST STOCK PRICE?
A new SINATRA thinks BIG:
You gotta hand it to Grammy winner Kanye West: He thinks outside the box.
"These magazines make money from ads and subscriptions," the 27-year-old hip-hop star mused during a recent media brunch in Beverly Hills attended by Daily News contributor Jawn Murray. "But I know that part of what drives subscriptions and ads is who these magazines put on the cover."
West continued: "So if you're putting me on the cover and people are buying your magazine because of me, why shouldn't I get paid to be on that cover? You are going to have to pay me to do magazine covers now!"
Of course the GENIUS gets it wrong. People who print the rags that would pay to put this IMMORTAL on the cover ought to pay US too -- to READ them.
You gotta hand it to Grammy winner Kanye West: He thinks outside the box.
"These magazines make money from ads and subscriptions," the 27-year-old hip-hop star mused during a recent media brunch in Beverly Hills attended by Daily News contributor Jawn Murray. "But I know that part of what drives subscriptions and ads is who these magazines put on the cover."
West continued: "So if you're putting me on the cover and people are buying your magazine because of me, why shouldn't I get paid to be on that cover? You are going to have to pay me to do magazine covers now!"
Of course the GENIUS gets it wrong. People who print the rags that would pay to put this IMMORTAL on the cover ought to pay US too -- to READ them.
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Oh dear oh dear oh dear, the QUEEN is upset that PRINCE CHARLIE wants to marry like -- a COMMONER.
No, NO, it's too easy.
No, NO, it's too easy.
BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP: TV-industry sycophant and spokespoop PERFESSER THOMPSON ("Froma Harrop" must be a pseudonym or a vulgar anagram) says the V-Chip will solve EVERYTHING. And if kids are watching Slutsville? It's the parents' fault. So shouldn't the industry try to police itself? No, it's the parents' fault. So we should rely on a computer chip hardly anyone uses. It's the parents' fault.
The PARENTS' FAULT claptrap is one reason so many people hate the entertainment biz. It's behind the decreasing ratings and movie box-office. It's behind the increasing contempt for the sister NEWS biz. IT'S BEHIND CONGRESS'S RUSH TO STIFFEN BROADCAST FINES. It's elitist in the worst sense -- zillionaires and their toadies tell ordinary people that if they're raped they should relax and enjoy it. Perhaps, Charlatan of the Sheepskin, people are getting tired of being RAPED.
P. S.
Belo owns 19 television stations reaching 13.8 percent of U.S. television households, including WFAA-TV in Dallas/Fort Worth, KHOU-TV in Houston, KING-TV in Seattle/Tacoma and KTVK-TV in Phoenix.
MORONS.
The PARENTS' FAULT claptrap is one reason so many people hate the entertainment biz. It's behind the decreasing ratings and movie box-office. It's behind the increasing contempt for the sister NEWS biz. IT'S BEHIND CONGRESS'S RUSH TO STIFFEN BROADCAST FINES. It's elitist in the worst sense -- zillionaires and their toadies tell ordinary people that if they're raped they should relax and enjoy it. Perhaps, Charlatan of the Sheepskin, people are getting tired of being RAPED.
P. S.
Belo owns 19 television stations reaching 13.8 percent of U.S. television households, including WFAA-TV in Dallas/Fort Worth, KHOU-TV in Houston, KING-TV in Seattle/Tacoma and KTVK-TV in Phoenix.
MORONS.
Ms. Overexposed Belly Button has called Jann "Sieg Heil" Wenner "a big old fat man."
That's an insult. For now.
That's an insult. For now.
It is somehow just that a company that taught America how to dress CHEAP should be a victim of its own success.
Conservative-orgasm alert:
Levi's also was the last major jeans maker to manufacture clothes in the United States, putting it a price disadvantage as its rivals shifted operations to low-cost contractors in Latin America and Asia. The competitive pressure prompted Levi's to close all of its U.S factories.
Effectiveness-of-annoying-people-on-television alert:
The fourth-quarter loss, driven by a sharp increase in advertising expense....
Conservative-orgasm alert:
Levi's also was the last major jeans maker to manufacture clothes in the United States, putting it a price disadvantage as its rivals shifted operations to low-cost contractors in Latin America and Asia. The competitive pressure prompted Levi's to close all of its U.S factories.
Effectiveness-of-annoying-people-on-television alert:
The fourth-quarter loss, driven by a sharp increase in advertising expense....
Do news hacks and political corruption walk hand-in-hand? We may wonder. I'd like to know how many big-city newspaper endorsements of the last fifty years went to DEMOCRATIC mayoral and city-council candidates. THE WORLD'S SECOND GREATEST NEWSPAPER endorsed Marion "CRACKHEAD" Barry THREE TIMES. Sixteen months ago KNIGHTRIDDER's idea of a tabloid, in the middle of a non-stop circulation slump and a campaign to be RIGHT-ON, WITH-IT and NOW to try to stop the non-stop, endorsed our increasingly dubious mayor for re-election. When NEWS HACKS stump for these machine candidates they are themselves de-facto members of the machines, with all the ODORS that REEK THEREFROM. Truly the ANYBODY-BUT-REPUBLICANS mindset of NEWS HACKS has FAILED AMERICA'S CITIES, Philadelphia not THE LEAST.
G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER is
WORKING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
WORKING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
The hero of NEWS HACKS does it AGAIN:
Claim: Editors' sin is that they aren't as funny as Mel Brooks
Who says he's funny?
Now we know why the hacks run COMIC STRIPS.
Claim: Editors' sin is that they aren't as funny as Mel Brooks
Who says he's funny?
Now we know why the hacks run COMIC STRIPS.
Just as NPR is now a commercial-newsradio service on the dole, so PBS has become the definition of relentless middlebrow -- when it does not air Lawrence a-Welk. If PBS is merely to engage in a more refined form of pandering it should do what NPR should do: abandon its "public interest" spiel -- the network stopped airing real arts programming long ago -- put the stations up for sale, and become an outlet for the high-demographic schlock of A&E.
An executive quitting under pressure won't cut it.
An executive quitting under pressure won't cut it.
Officials: Militants Targeted Eiffel Tower
This seems hard to believe as one would think the FRENCHIES' long record of APPEASEMENT would INOCULATE them.
This seems hard to believe as one would think the FRENCHIES' long record of APPEASEMENT would INOCULATE them.
I wanted to post something this afternoon -- at the time the GOONLEAGUE entered IMMORTALITY -- but the CLEM KADIDDLEHOPPERS OF MOUNTAIN VIEW WOULDN'T LET ME. It is discouraging enough getting a dozen hits a day; it's even more discouraging when these ZILLIONAIRE FREELOADERS SIT ON THEIR DUFFS ALL DAY THINKING OF CASH-IN TIME. I HAVE HAD IT WITH G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER -- and I'm STARTING TO HAVE IT WITH BLOGGING TOO.
"Whether you still believe that Kyoto is based on fuzzy science or is a stealth campaign by other countries to damage US companies, it's time to face reality," Industry Week editor in chief Patricia Panchak wrote recently. "Kyoto likely will affect how you do business no matter where your company is."
Translation: Appeasement feels good.
P. S. Since when is USAOKAY!!!!! called The Christian Science Monitor? IS GanNETt planning another gas-spouting global-warming acquisition?
Translation: Appeasement feels good.
P. S. Since when is USAOKAY!!!!! called The Christian Science Monitor? IS GanNETt planning another gas-spouting global-warming acquisition?
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Somebody says...
Cancel the Oscars because the movies stink.
That's not just my opinion, it's what we all think and the numbers prove it.
Twelve days from now, Hollywood will convene for its annual orgy of self-congratulation, but it's getting harder and harder to justify the celebration. While the Academy may find a prize-worthy picture or two, the movies overall are increasingly reliant on big openings and mass marketing to force feed the audience. That audience is walking away unhappy, which is evident from poor word-of-mouth.
Somebody says WHAT????????????????????????
This guy will NEVER write for USA OKAY!!!!!, and he'll never be a HOUND DOG like ELVIS, but it's refreshing to hear someone say MOVIES STINK when NO ONE ELSE DOES.
Cancel the Oscars because the movies stink.
That's not just my opinion, it's what we all think and the numbers prove it.
Twelve days from now, Hollywood will convene for its annual orgy of self-congratulation, but it's getting harder and harder to justify the celebration. While the Academy may find a prize-worthy picture or two, the movies overall are increasingly reliant on big openings and mass marketing to force feed the audience. That audience is walking away unhappy, which is evident from poor word-of-mouth.
Somebody says WHAT????????????????????????
This guy will NEVER write for USA OKAY!!!!!, and he'll never be a HOUND DOG like ELVIS, but it's refreshing to hear someone say MOVIES STINK when NO ONE ELSE DOES.
I have been having trouble ALL DAY getting through to the CLEM KADIDDLEHOPPERS sitting MIDAS-LIKE in MOUNTAIN VIEW on their PAPER FORTUNES. Once again these JERKS do the least they can for their peons. After a brief flurry of activity in December -- some Wall Street sales...ANALYST may have threatened to write a not-so-gushing sales pitch -- G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER is back to being the SOFTWARE EQUIVALENT OF A PAPERWEIGHT. And these people have NO REASON TO GIVE A DAMN AS THEY'RE ZILLIONAIRES. Why don't the FRAUDS CUT THE COMEDY and PUT AN END TO THEIR BLOGGING LOSS LEADER?
Buffett, Soros Increase Their Comcast, Time Warner Cable Stakes
Good going, YOUR HOLINESSES. Now people will think there's a PLOT to raise their rates.
WE DEMAND A CONGRESSIONAL INVESTIGATION!
Good going, YOUR HOLINESSES. Now people will think there's a PLOT to raise their rates.
WE DEMAND A CONGRESSIONAL INVESTIGATION!
NEWS HACKS and LIBERALS will chortle all day -- although heaven knows Alan Keyes needs no help going down in flames -- but with Mister SHANLEY being sentenced today, and WACKO going to an emergency room, I don't think we should chortle TOO much.
KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPH! Arthur Miller's death has become a KNEE-JERK THING. ON THE LEFT, E. J., one of the most tiresome columnists of any stripe, calls the late playwright courageous, and as we know from reading too many predictable op-edders, praise like this is usually self-directed. ON THE RIGHT, Terry Teachout, writing for THE WALL STREET JOURNALS CONSERVATIVE EDITION'S FREELOADERS REVIEW, says Miller was bad, presumably because he was -- LIBERAL, and while I respect and admire Mr. Teachout he's done the well-it's-my-employer-so-I'll-parrot-its-politics shtick before. That said, I am more inclined to believe Mr. Teachout, in part because 10,000 NEWS HACKS said the same things about Arthur Miller last week, in part because the only things E. J. reads are his own columns.
I stick by my obituary.
I stick by my obituary.
A STUDY says the local TV DO's don't devote enough time to local politics on their POLICE BLOTTERS, surprise. BUT...
It's being released in Washington at a news conference with Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz.
Maybe he's mad because the DOs don't devote enough time to HIM.
It's being released in Washington at a news conference with Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz.
Maybe he's mad because the DOs don't devote enough time to HIM.
Monday, February 14, 2005
Another PAPER OF RE-CORD annoyance: it helped someone sell two "rare" Barbie dolls on eBay for over $7,000 each. I'm sure we're all happy for the former owner for this newfound largesse (pfffffffffffft), but is it really the purpose of THE UNIVERSE'S GREATEST PAPER to act as a SHILL?
Three Swedish NHL players accused of rape were suspended for the remainder of the season by their clubs on Monday, two days after being banned from the national team.
Yes, we really do need the GOONS.
Yes, we really do need the GOONS.
It is maddening when a big story breaks at the start of your blogging sojourn, and for reasons of purest sloth you do not comment on it, but I figure if THE CORNER can point out from A WEEK EARLIER that Mme. HEINTZ has reverted to her first married name, I can still comment on a story from this morning. Best thing is, the story requires but a one-word comment:
SYRIA.
SYRIA.
It is customary to laugh at bowling, a sport as much in the past as HOCKEY soon will be, a sport of Lebowskis and Kowalskis, a sport that invented the term lounge before it was done to death, a sport so low-class it made horse racing look good. Cliches all, albeit with a slight dollop of truth. So it is nonetheless sad to learn that Dick Weber, the Perry Como of the sport, has died. He symbolized the time when ABC devoted every Saturday to it, when Chris Schenkel would breathlessly intone every strike and Nelson Burton Jr. would whisperingly analyze every split. Bowling was the comfort food of sport, not very exciting, but it didn't have to be. I miss it.
It turns out THE PAPER OF RE-CORD was writing a two-part obituary for the musical.
The wake will come when the high-school MONTY PYTHON show opens to Ben "The Greatest Musical of All Time" Brantley's rave.
The wake will come when the high-school MONTY PYTHON show opens to Ben "The Greatest Musical of All Time" Brantley's rave.
This is -- WEIRD:
[I]t does not speak well of CNN that it apparently allowed itself to be stampeded by this Internet and talk-show crew. Of course the network must be responsive to its audience and ratings. But it has other obligations, too, chief among them to show the good judgment and sense of proportion that distinguishes professional journalism from the enthusiasms and vendettas of amateurs.
You mean something's a vendetta even when it takes OUR side?
I guess tribal loyalties tell out in the end.
[I]t does not speak well of CNN that it apparently allowed itself to be stampeded by this Internet and talk-show crew. Of course the network must be responsive to its audience and ratings. But it has other obligations, too, chief among them to show the good judgment and sense of proportion that distinguishes professional journalism from the enthusiasms and vendettas of amateurs.
You mean something's a vendetta even when it takes OUR side?
I guess tribal loyalties tell out in the end.
Bloggers have -- pangs of CONSCIENCE.
Hey STERNO! Where were you when you proclaimed blogging THE EIGHTH WONDER OF THE WORLD?
Hey STERNO! Where were you when you proclaimed blogging THE EIGHTH WONDER OF THE WORLD?
"It's shocking that it happened," Ulster Town Supervisor Fred Wadnola said. "But I guess that's the way our society is going today."
Meaning: 1. Let's shrug our shoulders and accept psychopathy as a way of life; or 2. Let's turn the other way, which means in time we're in a permanent state of turning the other way.
Meaning: 1. Let's shrug our shoulders and accept psychopathy as a way of life; or 2. Let's turn the other way, which means in time we're in a permanent state of turning the other way.
OoooooooOOOOOOOOooooooooh, Chuck Grassley says THE DREADED T-WORD.
Bush knows that "personal accounts will not solve the problem," Grassley said, adding that "there are 100 moving parts" to Social Security reform.
Two questions: 1. If Dubya knows this, why is he proposing them?, and 2. How many moving parts can you guys seize up, Chuck?
Bush knows that "personal accounts will not solve the problem," Grassley said, adding that "there are 100 moving parts" to Social Security reform.
Two questions: 1. If Dubya knows this, why is he proposing them?, and 2. How many moving parts can you guys seize up, Chuck?
We shouldn't make too much of ol' Ray winning Grammies®. Dead folk have shown up this biz for DECADES.
P. S. At least the TWXSTERS put "genius" in quotes; too often NEWS HACKS DON'T.
P. S. At least the TWXSTERS put "genius" in quotes; too often NEWS HACKS DON'T.
Sunday, February 13, 2005
THANK YOU, TRIB, FOR MAKING THIS AVAILABLE ONLY TO SUBSCRIBERS:
The blast of R&B/hip-hop talent now dominating pop could make Berry Gordy see stars. In fact, he loves it.
Leaving aside this is ROBERT "OVER THE" HILBURN, it figures a NEWS HACK would quote gushingly of Berry. Berry, it is safe to say, was not a nice guy at Motown. But LEGENDARY WELCH wasn't nice either, and he was a NEWS HACK hero. It is not a long hip-hop-and-skip between calling a not-so-nice guy nice and launching into the LEGENDARY gag. I'm really not interested in what this exploiter of talent thinks about [C]RAP, especially when it confirms in us a desire to write ad blurbs until we're 130 -- or (God forbid) FOREVER. Again, THANK YOU, TRIB, FOR MAKING THIS AVAILABLE ONLY TO SUBSCRIBERS.
The blast of R&B/hip-hop talent now dominating pop could make Berry Gordy see stars. In fact, he loves it.
Leaving aside this is ROBERT "OVER THE" HILBURN, it figures a NEWS HACK would quote gushingly of Berry. Berry, it is safe to say, was not a nice guy at Motown. But LEGENDARY WELCH wasn't nice either, and he was a NEWS HACK hero. It is not a long hip-hop-and-skip between calling a not-so-nice guy nice and launching into the LEGENDARY gag. I'm really not interested in what this exploiter of talent thinks about [C]RAP, especially when it confirms in us a desire to write ad blurbs until we're 130 -- or (God forbid) FOREVER. Again, THANK YOU, TRIB, FOR MAKING THIS AVAILABLE ONLY TO SUBSCRIBERS.
Really, I AM tired of mentioning these two slobs: JONAH wrote a cover story about a movie, and just beholding the cover you know he's turned it PC con-SER-va-tive. Meantime when his opposite number THE GLIBERAL mentions Dirty Harry you know he's doing a one-man line dance on his desk in onanistic glee. If all we have to choose from are KNEE-JERK POP-CUL-TYURE WORSHIPPING CON-SER-VA-TIVES and KNEE-JERK POP-CUL-TYURE-WORSHIPPING GLIBERALS, I'd rather not know how to read.
Inventor Kurzweil Aiming to Live Forever
Sorry -- SUMNER beat you to it.
If I were St. Warren I'd be worried; this might cause a POPULATION EXPLOSION...of GEEZERS! On the other hand, He wouldn't have to worry about taking it with Him.
Sorry -- SUMNER beat you to it.
If I were St. Warren I'd be worried; this might cause a POPULATION EXPLOSION...of GEEZERS! On the other hand, He wouldn't have to worry about taking it with Him.
WELL! Here's another guy who knows the meaning of CHEVY CHASE:
Olympic ski champion Bill Johnson was charged with assaulting an officer and resisting arrest after punching a sheriff's deputy in the face during a traffic stop, police said.
Johnson was stopped in his pickup truck Friday by a Multnomah County sheriff's deputy and a suburban Troutdale police officer. When the officers approached, Johnson pulled out his 1984 gold medal and taunted them by saying, "You don't have one of these," police said.
You're lucky you aren't an actor -- it might be difficult to do that with an OSCAR®.
Another of the LIBERALS' fondest hopes was that maybe not so many people voted in Iraq -- that it was A PROPAGANDA PLOY OF RUMMY AND ROVE.
SHUCKS, 8.46 MILLION voted. Oh well, back to banging our heads against the wall. That's what makes us so SMART. (That's what makes US SMART.)
SHUCKS, 8.46 MILLION voted. Oh well, back to banging our heads against the wall. That's what makes us so SMART. (That's what makes US SMART.)
CLINT might like this one -- they've banned LOVE in Saudi Arabia. But then, as Osama tells us, they always did.
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!!!
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!!!
The CLINTS and the GLIBERALS and all the BRAVE SOULS FOR EUTHANASIA ought to ponder THIS STORY before further MARCHING AS TO WAR.
CLINT's another GENIUS who needs to feel the raw power of the Web. Then again, maybe He already does. "Eastwood euthanasia" search in Google -- 10,400 links. Sorry, CLINT, I think we know how Your Masterpiece ends.
AND SO DOES YOUR EVER-DWINDLING AUDIENCE.
CLINT's another GENIUS who needs to feel the raw power of the Web. Then again, maybe He already does. "Eastwood euthanasia" search in Google -- 10,400 links. Sorry, CLINT, I think we know how Your Masterpiece ends.
AND SO DOES YOUR EVER-DWINDLING AUDIENCE.
Since more people are repeat maso -- "attenders" of musicals, we can gather fewer people are first-timers, meaning more than ever, the theater talks to itself.
OR:
[S]hows need not be great or even good to be loved; greatness may be an impediment. (One doesn't like to consider what kinds of fans would want to see "Assassins" 100 times.)
One doesn't like to consider it, but one considers -- they probably count people at THE PAPER OF RE-CORD.
OR:
[S]hows need not be great or even good to be loved; greatness may be an impediment. (One doesn't like to consider what kinds of fans would want to see "Assassins" 100 times.)
One doesn't like to consider it, but one considers -- they probably count people at THE PAPER OF RE-CORD.
If anyone should have a motto like "The Buck Stops Here" on his desk, it's Mr. Mark -- only it wouldn't be "The Buck Stops Here" (being a world-champion news hack, he's a world-champion buck-passer), but instead, "Remember: What We Don't Spin, We Must Sell!" And thank the Lord God St. Warren PAT KINGSLEY comes to the rescue -- AGAIN:
The Flip Side of 50 Cent
You know the rap superstar's story by now. Ex drug dealer, nine gunshot wounds, kind of a scary guy. We thought there had to be more to it than that—and what do you know?
We know PAT, we KNOW, MR. MARK, he's a GENIUS -- and he has A RECORD TO SELL, so that makes him a DOUBLE GENIUS.
Remember, THREE MILLION IDIOTS SUBSCRIBE TO YOUR MAGAZINE, MR. MARK -- BUT NONE AS IDIOTIC AS THE IDIOTS WHO WRITE AND EDIT IT.
The Flip Side of 50 Cent
You know the rap superstar's story by now. Ex drug dealer, nine gunshot wounds, kind of a scary guy. We thought there had to be more to it than that—and what do you know?
We know PAT, we KNOW, MR. MARK, he's a GENIUS -- and he has A RECORD TO SELL, so that makes him a DOUBLE GENIUS.
Remember, THREE MILLION IDIOTS SUBSCRIBE TO YOUR MAGAZINE, MR. MARK -- BUT NONE AS IDIOTIC AS THE IDIOTS WHO WRITE AND EDIT IT.
Mr. Mark surely thinks himself one of the shrewdest, one of the HIGH-IQest men in the NEWS BIZ. I see him editing the cover story of BLUNDER so that it has three or four ripe paragraphs scattered through a 500,000-word article to fool the RUBES. He pays special attention to the LAST PARAGRAPH, realizing that most of his subscribers (that is, of those who don't use the magazine as coffee-table decoration) will read just that paragraph to get the gist of the piece. SO:
We are simply beating ourselves black and blue. So let's take a breather. Throw out the schedules, turn off the cell phone, cancel the tutors (fire the OT!). Let's spend some real quality time with our families, just talking, hanging out, not doing anything for once. And let ourselves be.
We remember too well how Mr. Mark made the PC-suck-up-to-St.-Warren case that dads should be mommies, so we'll presume ANYTHING and EVERYTHING are in between the FIRST PARAGRAPH and the LAST. We've come to quite a place when we instinctively mistrust ANY news hack just because he IS one, but as the tragic tale of EASON tells us, there are strange and tyrannical thoughts floating through NEWS HACKS' HEADS.
We are simply beating ourselves black and blue. So let's take a breather. Throw out the schedules, turn off the cell phone, cancel the tutors (fire the OT!). Let's spend some real quality time with our families, just talking, hanging out, not doing anything for once. And let ourselves be.
We remember too well how Mr. Mark made the PC-suck-up-to-St.-Warren case that dads should be mommies, so we'll presume ANYTHING and EVERYTHING are in between the FIRST PARAGRAPH and the LAST. We've come to quite a place when we instinctively mistrust ANY news hack just because he IS one, but as the tragic tale of EASON tells us, there are strange and tyrannical thoughts floating through NEWS HACKS' HEADS.