THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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Saturday, June 24, 2006
China's Economy Forecast to Grow 10.3% in First Half
Can anyone doubt that capitalist dictatorship is the future and that it now has the economic might to play tricks with the rest of the world for decades to come?
``China is still a developing country,'' Chinese central bank Governor Zhou Xiaochuan told reporters in Basel, Switzerland, where he is attending the Bank for International Settlements annual meeting. `` We need growth. We need it to solve a lot of economic problems. We need it to have a poverty reduction.''
Knock it off, Zhou, you need growth so you can bully mean Uncle Sam, and so you can be numero uno in manufacturing EVERYTHING.
A question we may ask of con-SER-va-tives: what's the diff between China and their long-time-favorite nation Singapore? Land mass, population and a Little Red Book nobody reads.
Can anyone doubt that capitalist dictatorship is the future and that it now has the economic might to play tricks with the rest of the world for decades to come?
``China is still a developing country,'' Chinese central bank Governor Zhou Xiaochuan told reporters in Basel, Switzerland, where he is attending the Bank for International Settlements annual meeting. `` We need growth. We need it to solve a lot of economic problems. We need it to have a poverty reduction.''
Knock it off, Zhou, you need growth so you can bully mean Uncle Sam, and so you can be numero uno in manufacturing EVERYTHING.
A question we may ask of con-SER-va-tives: what's the diff between China and their long-time-favorite nation Singapore? Land mass, population and a Little Red Book nobody reads.
Interesting: the last few minutes I've made some routine requests of G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE News and have gotten error messages.
At what point does this celebrated cardboard-and-Scotch-tape system break down? And how easily?
At what point does this celebrated cardboard-and-Scotch-tape system break down? And how easily?
How far has tennis fallen? One of its formerly top stars retires, and we must ask ourselves, do we care?
And he was once Brooke Shields's husband. That's how far it's fallen.
And he was once Brooke Shields's husband. That's how far it's fallen.
Our kind of athuhlete:
Philadelphia Phillies hurler Brett Myers punched his wife and dragged her down Dalton Street by her hair early yesterday, police allege, but that won’t stop him from taking the mound at Fenway this weekend.
Our kind of SPORT!
Philadelphia Phillies hurler Brett Myers punched his wife and dragged her down Dalton Street by her hair early yesterday, police allege, but that won’t stop him from taking the mound at Fenway this weekend.
Our kind of SPORT!
Is it possible it's twenty years ago that Lefty Driesell told his players, "Don't talk t'the p'lice, Ah'm tellin' ya, don't talk t'the P'LICE!"?
Sadly, the nation's drug abuse situation is not much better after 20 years.
Jeez, I wouldn't have guessed.
Sadly, the nation's drug abuse situation is not much better after 20 years.
Jeez, I wouldn't have guessed.
Aaron Spelling, who produced a lot of cheesy television, has died. RIP.
P. S. USAOKAY!!!!!.com is upset; it's calling him LEGENDARY (home page only; they have the same Bob "The Stenographer" Thomas piece, which amazingly doesn't use the word). But then not much upsets a news hack other than a Republican in the White House, and America winning a war.
P. P. S. The MESS is upset too; it's calling him an "innovator." What did he innovate? Jiggle?
A puzzlement: he produced 3,000 TV shows, a record we hope stands forever. (So says the home-page squib; it's not in the story.) But during the war he was "[w]ounded by a sniper's bullet" and "was decorated with a Bronze Star Medal and a Purple Heart with oak-leaf cluster." Go figure it was the same man.
P. S. USAOKAY!!!!!.com is upset; it's calling him LEGENDARY (home page only; they have the same Bob "The Stenographer" Thomas piece, which amazingly doesn't use the word). But then not much upsets a news hack other than a Republican in the White House, and America winning a war.
P. P. S. The MESS is upset too; it's calling him an "innovator." What did he innovate? Jiggle?
A puzzlement: he produced 3,000 TV shows, a record we hope stands forever. (So says the home-page squib; it's not in the story.) But during the war he was "[w]ounded by a sniper's bullet" and "was decorated with a Bronze Star Medal and a Purple Heart with oak-leaf cluster." Go figure it was the same man.
Friday, June 23, 2006
This is why they (rather, we) pay news hacks the BIG BUCKS:
Little Known About N. Korea's Intentions
You hacks seem to have learned of our secret programs; why not go to North Korea and learn about theirs? Oh. It won't bring down a president.
"Experts" and "analysts" appear three time each in this story, meaning it was probably composed entirely in a news suite.
Little Known About N. Korea's Intentions
You hacks seem to have learned of our secret programs; why not go to North Korea and learn about theirs? Oh. It won't bring down a president.
"Experts" and "analysts" appear three time each in this story, meaning it was probably composed entirely in a news suite.
Eggheads ponder THE EDWARD R. MURROW OF COMEDY and his POISONING of DEMOCRACY -- and in the meantime they ponder other things:
? [SIC] "Risk Avoidance: Graphs Versus Numbers" by Hannah Faye C. Chua, Frank J. Yates and Priti Shah, Memory & Cognition, Vol. 34, No. 2. University of Michigan researchers find that people are more likely to buy an improved but more expensive new toothpaste if the probabilities of getting gum disease are expressed visually in a chart than if they are expressed numerically.
? [SIC] "Disability, Gender and Difference on The Sopranos" by Kathleen LeBesco. Women's Studies in Communication, Vol. 29, No. 1. A Marymount-Manhattan College communications professor argues that story lines in the hit TV show "The Sopranos" that feature mob boss Tony Soprano's one-legged mistress and the "morbidly obese" wife of a crony send mixed messages about the disabled.
Perhaps it is time they pondered something more important.
(Via, oh well, The Corner)
Here is the sad, sad tale of a persecuted Saudi prince, as much of a victim as the man he ran over with his car.
Free the Saudi prince! PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!
Where's Whorvis Communications when you need it?
Free the Saudi prince! PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!
Where's Whorvis Communications when you need it?
GREG'S EXCITED AGAIN BECAUSE THERE'S A STORY ABOUT ANOTHER ATROCITY IN IRAQ!!!!!!!!!!
Greg is an excellent argument for obedience school, and for outlawing pit bulls.
Keeping in mind this is THE WEEKLY STANDARD (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), this article confirms what I've long suspected: there are Ph.D.s in traffic engineering.
EXCELLENT: Another "incentive war."
When will the CLUNKER BROTHERS learn the Japanese don't use incentives?
When will the CLUNKER BROTHERS learn the Japanese don't use incentives?
Two executives at media-buying firm Focus Media have been convicted of stealing more than $31 million from Sears Roebuck & Co., Universal Studios and other marketers, and face federal prison terms that could be in the hundreds of years.
TRANSLATION: They did illegally what other media execs do LEGALLY.
TRANSLATION: They did illegally what other media execs do LEGALLY.
A bunch of M-----s had a plot.
When will some folks learn we must be extra vigilant of plots by M-----s, whether it hurts people's feelings or not?
When will some folks learn we must be extra vigilant of plots by M-----s, whether it hurts people's feelings or not?
There's a civil war going on in the left over ONE OF THE UNIVERSE'S GREATEST BLOGGERS. Such debates are tiresome for me because I've been typing for over three years to no effect, while megalomaniacs like Kos and MICHELLE never stop boasting. That said, we wonder how much of the talk of SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGING's VAST INFLUENCE is hot air. THE GREAT KOS'S INTERPLANETARY CONVENTION attracted about 1,000 -- a bar gathering by Vegas standards.
And apparently the great Kos didn't even run it. Too busy boasting.
And apparently the great Kos didn't even run it. Too busy boasting.
News hacks think of many different ways of trying to justify tripe. If they were as good at reporting as at justifying tripe we'd have a golden age of news. Here USAOKAY!!!!! thinks it can deke us by insisting this is a piece on CHANGES IN SOCIETY, but we, its readers know better: it's just a 1,428-WORD STORY on a FICTIONAL CHARACTER -- and ANOTHER PLUG FOR ANOTHER OVERHYPED MOVIE.
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO TONY!!!!!
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO TONY!!!!!
Thursday, June 22, 2006
The Union of Concerned Scientists, which marches in the van -- pardon, the VANGUARD of the GLOBAL WARMING BRIGADE, is not serious:
global warming solutions [SIC]
We have the technology and ingenuity to reduce the threat of global warming today. Solutions are already available that will stimulate the American economy by creating jobs, saving consumers money, and protecting our national security. By investing in renewable energy and energy efficiency, and increasing the efficiency of the cars we drive, we can take essential steps toward reducing our dependence on oil and other fossil fuels that cause global warming.
Using energy more efficiently and moving to renewable energy (wind, solar, geothermal, and bioenergy) would significantly reduce our emissions of heat-trapping gases. The United States currently produces 70 percent of its electricity from fossil fuels such as coal, natural gas, and oil, but only two percent from renewable sources. Since the burning of fossil fuels releases large amounts of carbon dioxide—the leading cause of global warming—but renewable energy does not, increasing the share of our electricity generated from renewable resources is one of the most effective ways to reduce global warming emissions.
Cars and trucks are another significant source (25 percent) of U.S. carbon dioxide emissions. A serious effort to address global warming must therefore reduce emissions from cars and trucks. Many technologies already exist that can do this, while also creating new jobs in the U.S. automotive sector and other industries throughout the country. In addition, American consumers would save billions of dollars on gasoline, and we would reduce our dependence on foreign oil.
By putting energy efficiency, renewable energy, and vehicle technology solutions in place at the federal level, we can reduce our contribution to global warming while creating a stronger, healthier, and more secure nation.
It gases about "we can take essential steps toward reducing our dependence on oil and other fossil fuels that cause global warming." How? It says we can solve global warming while "creating jobs, saving consumers money, and protecting our national security." How? It says it's all for "renewable sources." How? It says it's for "reducing emission from cars and trucks." How? It says we'll "creat[e] a stronger, healthier, and more secure nation." HOW?
This is the kind of soothing blatherskite you expect from a lobbying group with a Washington office. Any fifth-rate senator or Congresspoop could have written it. Jack Abramoff or Sammy Glickman could have written it. The frauds at WHORVIS COMMUNICATIONS could have written it. These people have no concrete suggestions for how to reverse global warming. They have nothing to say because somewhere in their hermetically-sealed reinforced-concrete skulls they must sense reversing global warming "will entail extreme sacrifice, millions of jobs lost -- and IT MAY NOT WORK."
global warming solutions [SIC]
We have the technology and ingenuity to reduce the threat of global warming today. Solutions are already available that will stimulate the American economy by creating jobs, saving consumers money, and protecting our national security. By investing in renewable energy and energy efficiency, and increasing the efficiency of the cars we drive, we can take essential steps toward reducing our dependence on oil and other fossil fuels that cause global warming.
Using energy more efficiently and moving to renewable energy (wind, solar, geothermal, and bioenergy) would significantly reduce our emissions of heat-trapping gases. The United States currently produces 70 percent of its electricity from fossil fuels such as coal, natural gas, and oil, but only two percent from renewable sources. Since the burning of fossil fuels releases large amounts of carbon dioxide—the leading cause of global warming—but renewable energy does not, increasing the share of our electricity generated from renewable resources is one of the most effective ways to reduce global warming emissions.
Cars and trucks are another significant source (25 percent) of U.S. carbon dioxide emissions. A serious effort to address global warming must therefore reduce emissions from cars and trucks. Many technologies already exist that can do this, while also creating new jobs in the U.S. automotive sector and other industries throughout the country. In addition, American consumers would save billions of dollars on gasoline, and we would reduce our dependence on foreign oil.
By putting energy efficiency, renewable energy, and vehicle technology solutions in place at the federal level, we can reduce our contribution to global warming while creating a stronger, healthier, and more secure nation.
It gases about "we can take essential steps toward reducing our dependence on oil and other fossil fuels that cause global warming." How? It says we can solve global warming while "creating jobs, saving consumers money, and protecting our national security." How? It says it's all for "renewable sources." How? It says it's for "reducing emission from cars and trucks." How? It says we'll "creat[e] a stronger, healthier, and more secure nation." HOW?
This is the kind of soothing blatherskite you expect from a lobbying group with a Washington office. Any fifth-rate senator or Congresspoop could have written it. Jack Abramoff or Sammy Glickman could have written it. The frauds at WHORVIS COMMUNICATIONS could have written it. These people have no concrete suggestions for how to reverse global warming. They have nothing to say because somewhere in their hermetically-sealed reinforced-concrete skulls they must sense reversing global warming "will entail extreme sacrifice, millions of jobs lost -- and IT MAY NOT WORK."
THE PLAY about ST. RACHEL of CORRIE is finally headed to Noo Yawk, and somehow it's apt that a Hammerstein is co-producing it. We can see Ockie naively siding with the forces of good. But Ockie wasn't that naive, and a big name does not make ST. RACHEL's canonization any more palatable.
TRANSLATION: American soccer has a bright future -- which keeps receding into the future.
Which receded a little bit more into the future today.
Which receded a little bit more into the future today.
As we feel the heat of a GLOBAL WARMING CRUSADE coming on, let us guess what our superiors will ask us to do to assist in it as they look on from their chauffeur-driven heights. Bicycle? America's bulge could use it; but how many people will trade in long drives for long bikes? Air conditioning? That uses up a lot of greenhouse-gas producing electricity. How many thousands of old people will die to stop smog? Mass transit? Many cities don't have much of it, and though there's nothing wrong with it in theory in practice it's boondoggles and corruption. Limits on development? Let's see us try that. Meantime the Chinese and the Russians will no doubt gas as usual, which makes us wonder whether global-warming Chicken Littles might benefit from a little greenhouse-panic GREEN on the side -- the better to redistribute our wealth.
Okay eggheads, ALGORE: you say an awful thing's about to happen. WHAT DO YOU PROPOSE TO STOP IT? PUT YOUR PANACEAS WHERE YOUR BIG FAT MOUTHS ARE.
Okay eggheads, ALGORE: you say an awful thing's about to happen. WHAT DO YOU PROPOSE TO STOP IT? PUT YOUR PANACEAS WHERE YOUR BIG FAT MOUTHS ARE.
Because a known liberal group (no mention of that there) says CEOs are being paid too much, the obvious solution is for Larry Kudlow to type another of his slathering homages to the likes of Dick Grasso.
Why must so many be left or right rather than just trying to be RIGHT?
Why must so many be left or right rather than just trying to be RIGHT?
What made disco great?
What makes Jerry "Sieg Heil" Yang and Terry "Mr. Warner Bros." Semel stink?
Hint: A five-letter word that begins with a C. (Via Search Engine Watch)
What makes Jerry "Sieg Heil" Yang and Terry "Mr. Warner Bros." Semel stink?
Hint: A five-letter word that begins with a C. (Via Search Engine Watch)
A BIG surprise: TNR's publisher Marty endorses ALGORE -- because his movie's "A SMASH HIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Really, the hacks MUST stop quoting PAUL DRECK.
How long has Marty owned TNR?
Really, the hacks MUST stop quoting PAUL DRECK.
How long has Marty owned TNR?
THIRETEEN COURAGEOUS DEMOCRATS join in PRESIDENT HEIN-TZZZZ' call to "redeploy" NOWNOWNOW!
And a courageous, er, "Republican" senator gets on his hands and knees and begs his fellow reactionaries to please, please, please leave Iraq someday!
And a courageous, er, "Republican" senator gets on his hands and knees and begs his fellow reactionaries to please, please, please leave Iraq someday!
Okay, former ombudspoop Don, we don't like the NO-SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN ZONE either. But then we imagine courageous you hiding under your desk the moment one of your famed skool's teams is implicated in a sex orgy, or a rape, or an assault, or drug abuse, or "subsidies" to needy athuhletes -- and we don't like you either.
Sorry Don, Notre Dame is just another football factory with a few convenient crosses.
What's more: it appears some of NO-SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN's SPIN has rubbed off on Don:
The New York Times, which also came in for some of Bill's dishonorable mention, has not endorsed the winner in the last two presidential elections.
TRANSLATION: 1. I just got my start in the news biz yesterday! 2. Are you sure it was a gang rape? You know how these guys are, give them a few beers and they talk dirty. It wasn't a gang rape or any rape, and sure we can get that spin out. Just hope the alums believe it.
(Via the usual Romy)
Sorry Don, Notre Dame is just another football factory with a few convenient crosses.
What's more: it appears some of NO-SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN's SPIN has rubbed off on Don:
The New York Times, which also came in for some of Bill's dishonorable mention, has not endorsed the winner in the last two presidential elections.
TRANSLATION: 1. I just got my start in the news biz yesterday! 2. Are you sure it was a gang rape? You know how these guys are, give them a few beers and they talk dirty. It wasn't a gang rape or any rape, and sure we can get that spin out. Just hope the alums believe it.
(Via the usual Romy)
A bunch of Congressionally-funded eggheads has decided the earth is the warmest in 400 years, possibly 2,000, possibly 10 million for all we know. The question the eggheads and the ALGORES refuse to answer is, what do we do about it? And the reason they refuse to answer it? Because they know it will entail extreme sacrifice, millions of jobs lost -- and IT MAY NOT WORK.
And SHERRY'S RETIRING, dammit! If only all Republicans were like him! Maybe he can change his mind and save the world.
And SHERRY'S RETIRING, dammit! If only all Republicans were like him! Maybe he can change his mind and save the world.
THE BUGMEISTER'S LEGACY, CONTINUED:
And consider the even bigger picture: Economists estimate that all information technology, including PCs, contributed about one-third of the 2% average annual U.S. productivity growth since 1995.
So -- MAYBE PCs contributed to a .66% annual growth in "productivity." And how much of that "productivity" was negated by balky software, BSODs, spam, bad Web connections, and needless PowerPoint presentations?
And MSFT is down 60 PERCENT since its high. That's a big productivity boost also.
And consider the even bigger picture: Economists estimate that all information technology, including PCs, contributed about one-third of the 2% average annual U.S. productivity growth since 1995.
So -- MAYBE PCs contributed to a .66% annual growth in "productivity." And how much of that "productivity" was negated by balky software, BSODs, spam, bad Web connections, and needless PowerPoint presentations?
And MSFT is down 60 PERCENT since its high. That's a big productivity boost also.
I'm SURE King Denny cut his deal SOLELY for the benefit of the PEEpul.
Believe that and you can believe I have a farm in Illinois I'll sell you for $1.
Believe that and you can believe I have a farm in Illinois I'll sell you for $1.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Sorry, CEOs, we are not impressed. The modern businessman will only do the right thing at the point of a gun -- or a lawsuit, or a law. He has delegated so much moral authority away he cannot be moral even if he tried. Moreover the real lesson of Enron and MCI Worldcom to too many execs is that Kenny and Bernie and the gangs could have gotten away with it. Being PC is not being good, either. Little Jeffy has tried polishing His environmental bonafides -- why is He still in broadcasting, a known air pollutant? And CEOs still reserve the right to pay themselves outlandish salaries and engage in other anti-social behavior for profit -- like playing checkers with their offices and factories at taxpayer expense, or burdening the Federal government in perpetuity by unloading their companies' pension plans. We will believe CEOs are responsible when we see it -- and we expect to see Jesus return and walk on water first.
Oh oh: The Inventor of Blogging "provides the intellectual horsepower of, say, an Andy Rooney commentary."
This makes perfect sense. Professor has his catchphrases; Andy bloviates on Hershey bars. They're both masters of the superficial.
This makes perfect sense. Professor has his catchphrases; Andy bloviates on Hershey bars. They're both masters of the superficial.
173 YouTubes -- and all fostering copyright infringement.
The Bubble is Back!
(Via the SLOW IWantMedia.com)
The Bubble is Back!
(Via the SLOW IWantMedia.com)
The cost of U.N. building renovations has skyrocketed by hundreds of millions of dollars, as the world body practically invites fraud and fails to set up an independent watchdog to investigate crooks, American Ambassador John Bolton said yesterday.
What a waste. For all that money the League of Nations could have built new HQ in Riyadh...or Caracas...or Havana...or Tehran...or PYONGYANG.
What a waste. For all that money the League of Nations could have built new HQ in Riyadh...or Caracas...or Havana...or Tehran...or PYONGYANG.
Another STRONG vote for ADVERTISING:
The strongest brand in America -- drum roll, please -- is Reynolds Wrap.
Yes, the thinly supported brand of thin-sliced aluminum owned by heavy-industry titan Alcoa, which got all of $7.5 million in media support last year as measured by TNS Media Intelligence, has the strongest brand equity in the U.S., according to Harris Interactive. [Emphasis added]
The strongest brand in America -- drum roll, please -- is Reynolds Wrap.
Yes, the thinly supported brand of thin-sliced aluminum owned by heavy-industry titan Alcoa, which got all of $7.5 million in media support last year as measured by TNS Media Intelligence, has the strongest brand equity in the U.S., according to Harris Interactive. [Emphasis added]
TRANSLATION: Gray-DOHN's new hire will be able to do double what he did for Little Malcolm: that is, compile even MORE meaningless lists!
(Via the intractable Romy)
(Via the intractable Romy)
Speaking of urban legends, Dan Blather's ego refuses to quit. Had he apologized quickly and fully he would still be yapping from the anchor desk; but no, he stonewalled, he rationalized, and finally he "took responsibility" and admitted it was basically someone else's fault. Dan is still the victim of NAZI HEADHUNTERS, and his tombstone will bear the immortal words, "BUCKHEAD DID IT."
Meantime, down in the trenches, the hard-working six- and seven-digit hairspray testers grumble because the people in the corporate stratosphere don't know what it's like to turn MS Word superscripts into IBM Selectric ones.
Meantime, down in the trenches, the hard-working six- and seven-digit hairspray testers grumble because the people in the corporate stratosphere don't know what it's like to turn MS Word superscripts into IBM Selectric ones.
SAMMY GLICKMAN! TIME TO DUMP JACK'S ALPHABET SOUP DOWN THE TOILET!
Yes, the "Rev." Wildmon is a prunish crank and Roy "The Gay Divorcee" Blunt is a hypocrite; but JACK'S ALPHABET SOUP is a FRAUD and SAMMY GLICKMAN is a BLITHERING TWERP.
And thanks to one of Sammy's overeager types who bowed down before the lord Jack THE CONSPIRACY has a Procter-and-Gamble-666-style controversy stuck to its name. The Conspiracy, unlike P&G, deserves it.
Yes, the "Rev." Wildmon is a prunish crank and Roy "The Gay Divorcee" Blunt is a hypocrite; but JACK'S ALPHABET SOUP is a FRAUD and SAMMY GLICKMAN is a BLITHERING TWERP.
And thanks to one of Sammy's overeager types who bowed down before the lord Jack THE CONSPIRACY has a Procter-and-Gamble-666-style controversy stuck to its name. The Conspiracy, unlike P&G, deserves it.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Which gets us to this ode from a Bozellnik to The Superscript Man:
[W]hat we really must admit about history is that it sticks to an unforgiving big picture. Ask your twentysomething friends or your summer interns if they can identify these names: Chet Huntley, Douglas Edwards, John Chancellor, Howard K. Smith, Harry Reasoner, Frank Reynolds. Rather may be about as well-known as Drew Pearson or Lowell Thomas to the next generation....
Well we remember them enough to know the third on the list at one point insisted his name be pronounced Chancell-OR. But we do remember them, though we're not twentysomething or a summer intern. Chet Huntley said "Good night, David" and sang at a piano bar for American Airlines; Douglas Edwards droned into a radio mike for forty years; Howard K. Smith emceed a Kennedy-Nixon debate and acquired lots of leather-bound books he never read; Harry Reasoner was mildly sardonic and vaguely suggested Barney Rubble; Frank Reynolds died of several diseases so Peter Jennings could take his place; Drew Pearson pounded tables and "appeared as himself in the 1951 science fiction film The Day the Earth Stood Still"; and Lowell Thomas showed in tons of ads and emceed This is Cinerama. Why we should further remember them is beyond us, though we must confess they had a dignity, a dignity as vanished as their reporting.
[W]hat we really must admit about history is that it sticks to an unforgiving big picture. Ask your twentysomething friends or your summer interns if they can identify these names: Chet Huntley, Douglas Edwards, John Chancellor, Howard K. Smith, Harry Reasoner, Frank Reynolds. Rather may be about as well-known as Drew Pearson or Lowell Thomas to the next generation....
Well we remember them enough to know the third on the list at one point insisted his name be pronounced Chancell-OR. But we do remember them, though we're not twentysomething or a summer intern. Chet Huntley said "Good night, David" and sang at a piano bar for American Airlines; Douglas Edwards droned into a radio mike for forty years; Howard K. Smith emceed a Kennedy-Nixon debate and acquired lots of leather-bound books he never read; Harry Reasoner was mildly sardonic and vaguely suggested Barney Rubble; Frank Reynolds died of several diseases so Peter Jennings could take his place; Drew Pearson pounded tables and "appeared as himself in the 1951 science fiction film The Day the Earth Stood Still"; and Lowell Thomas showed in tons of ads and emceed This is Cinerama. Why we should further remember them is beyond us, though we must confess they had a dignity, a dignity as vanished as their reporting.
I suppose the sports hacks are calling hockey's playoff a triumph. Certainly it was undeserved for a league that stuck a finger in the fans' eyes. But look at it this way: it took seven games of finals to get to an audience of 5.45 million. Meantime Wrong-Way wasn't the only one who collapsed at Winged Foot; the Open's ratings were the worst in 18 years. Golf has a very shallow bench; and once you get past the NFL, so does professional sport.
A reminder to all those flacks who think movie attendance will go UP UP UP:
Movie theater advertising revenues rose 20.6% in 2005, according to a report released Monday by the Cinema Advertising Council.
Movie theater advertising revenues rose 20.6% in 2005, according to a report released Monday by the Cinema Advertising Council.
And so the dream ends -- with Jim McKay's son finally acknowledging him.
Hasta la vista, courage, and (repeat five times) good night, and good luck.
Did they type this up in Word?
Hasta la vista, courage, and (repeat five times) good night, and good luck.
Did they type this up in Word?
Surprise:
TALEBAN fighters used women and children as human shields as they tried to escape into the mountains of Afghanistan, British troops claimed yesterday.
Hey Dems! Think we can run screaming from there too?
TALEBAN fighters used women and children as human shields as they tried to escape into the mountains of Afghanistan, British troops claimed yesterday.
Hey Dems! Think we can run screaming from there too?
...Philadelphia-area hospitals in general - including Penn - may provide more care [to dying patients] than is necessary, driving up costs without improving survival, according to the Dartmouth researchers.
In the last two years of life, Medicare spent an average of $38,872 on chronically ill patients in the Philadelphia region. That compares with a national averge of $29,199. This area was the 20th-most expensive of the nation's 307 hospital referral regions, the study found.
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The Schuylkill is just 330 feet wide at Walnut Street, but by other measuring sticks, Center City and West Philadelphia are far more distant neighbors. The west bank's tangle of rail lines, its grimy industrial remains, the roaring expressway - all have served to further cleave the city.
That divide could begin to narrow next year, when the University of Pennsylvania embarks on an epic riverfront redevelopment project. It is expected to take more than two decades, cost $1.94 billion and, as high hopes go, ultimately meld Center City and West Philadelphia into one big, lively city core.
Endorsed by the university trustees on Thursday, Penn's plan is to revitalize 40 acres from Walnut Street to just below South Street on the campus' eastern edge. On what is now an eyesore of a site, office towers, condos and research centers would rise amid new athletic fields and recreation spaces, shops and restaurants. There is even talk of an elegant pedestrian bridge arcing the Schuylkill....
The riverfront revitalization will be the most visible part - but only a part - of Penn's eastward expansion. A new 400-bed residence hall is planned for 33d and Chestnut, and a nanotechnology research center for 32d and Walnut. Below South Street, Penn's medical school and health system also have long-term plans to expand east, with an estimated 1.55 million gross square feet available.
The cost of all planned construction: $6.7 billion.
Are these stories related? NAH, don't think so.
In the last two years of life, Medicare spent an average of $38,872 on chronically ill patients in the Philadelphia region. That compares with a national averge of $29,199. This area was the 20th-most expensive of the nation's 307 hospital referral regions, the study found.
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The Schuylkill is just 330 feet wide at Walnut Street, but by other measuring sticks, Center City and West Philadelphia are far more distant neighbors. The west bank's tangle of rail lines, its grimy industrial remains, the roaring expressway - all have served to further cleave the city.
That divide could begin to narrow next year, when the University of Pennsylvania embarks on an epic riverfront redevelopment project. It is expected to take more than two decades, cost $1.94 billion and, as high hopes go, ultimately meld Center City and West Philadelphia into one big, lively city core.
Endorsed by the university trustees on Thursday, Penn's plan is to revitalize 40 acres from Walnut Street to just below South Street on the campus' eastern edge. On what is now an eyesore of a site, office towers, condos and research centers would rise amid new athletic fields and recreation spaces, shops and restaurants. There is even talk of an elegant pedestrian bridge arcing the Schuylkill....
The riverfront revitalization will be the most visible part - but only a part - of Penn's eastward expansion. A new 400-bed residence hall is planned for 33d and Chestnut, and a nanotechnology research center for 32d and Walnut. Below South Street, Penn's medical school and health system also have long-term plans to expand east, with an estimated 1.55 million gross square feet available.
The cost of all planned construction: $6.7 billion.
Are these stories related? NAH, don't think so.
No. 1: Connie's -- GAG was written by a co-creator of SEE IT N -- THE DAILY SHOW.
No. 2:
Of her singing, she gloated, "It makes Maury cringe."
As well she might.
(Via the inevitable Romy)
No. 2:
Of her singing, she gloated, "It makes Maury cringe."
As well she might.
(Via the inevitable Romy)
DAVID REHR (whoever he is) says 98 PERCENT OF TV IS GRRRRRRRRRRRRREAT!!!!!
DR. EVIL! YOU HAVE COMPETITION!
And GREAT THINKING from SUPERMARIO:
"Society is constantly shifting and evolving, for better of [SIC!!!!!] worse."
So if it's shifting for the worse let's not do anything, right Mario? No wonder you weren't prez.
DR. EVIL! YOU HAVE COMPETITION!
And GREAT THINKING from SUPERMARIO:
"Society is constantly shifting and evolving, for better of [SIC!!!!!] worse."
So if it's shifting for the worse let's not do anything, right Mario? No wonder you weren't prez.
With the incredible number of ways cell phones can annoy and distract it's a wonder more outfits haven't instituted a no-cell-phone policy -- and not just in the office.
Hey OKAY!!!!! I like the way you play with the size of my window when you run a pop-up ad!
Hey OKAY!!!!! I like the way you play with the size of my window when you run a pop-up ad!
ANOTHER RÉSUMÉ: Somebody devotes SIX PAGES to some show-biz big shot ogre and former Norman "The Force of Right" Lear partner named Pinocchio who apparently hasn't consented to an interview in fifty years, and we STILL love him -- because he's in show-biz!
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO MEG!
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO MEG!
Monday, June 19, 2006
Right next to each other on G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE NEWS:
A source, very close to AlterNet commented: "If Imelda Marcos had had a daughter, her name would have been Connie Chung."
Rather’s seen “Good Night and Good Luck” five times
They both have that VIDEO.
P. S. Now I know that couple's cheesy: they didn't hire a PIANO PLAYER.
A source, very close to AlterNet commented: "If Imelda Marcos had had a daughter, her name would have been Connie Chung."
Rather’s seen “Good Night and Good Luck” five times
They both have that VIDEO.
P. S. Now I know that couple's cheesy: they didn't hire a PIANO PLAYER.
[O]pposition to the effort in Iraq is greatest in a few very large metropolitan areas.
Just one problem: they run the country.
Just one problem: they run the country.
Jeez -- and I'm sure many of the members won't mind me saying that -- the British Vicarage and Tea-Time Club may split into several franchises.
I'm all for competition. Maybe it'll improve the food.
I'm all for competition. Maybe it'll improve the food.
Connecting the Dots: A Failed Experiment in Punditing:
And he was officially finished with it, writing: "Rather than continue to coddle the Court's delusion that the desired level of fairness has been achieved and the need for regulation eviscerated, I feel morally and intellectually obligated simply to concede that the death penalty experiment has failed." The question isn't whether executions can be made painless: it's whether they're wrong. Everything else is just quibbling. And most of the quibbling simply boils down to trying to make the wrong seem right. (June 18)
The Institute for Women's Policy Research is a nonprofit, nonpartisan group supported by foundation and government grants. In its most recent assessment of the overall condition of American women, it named Mississippi the worst state in the country. It was also named the worst state for women in 1998, 2000 and 2002. It ranked 49th in terms of women in elected office, and at the bottom of the list for health and well-being, including the incidence of diabetes and deaths from cancer and heart disease.
The institute ranked Mississippi worst in the nation for reproductive rights.
Protesters have vowed to shut down the state's sole remaining abortion clinic, which is in Jackson.
Sometimes you don't even have to state an opinion.
You just have to state the facts. (January 24)
Computer? What's a COMPUTER?
And he was officially finished with it, writing: "Rather than continue to coddle the Court's delusion that the desired level of fairness has been achieved and the need for regulation eviscerated, I feel morally and intellectually obligated simply to concede that the death penalty experiment has failed." The question isn't whether executions can be made painless: it's whether they're wrong. Everything else is just quibbling. And most of the quibbling simply boils down to trying to make the wrong seem right. (June 18)
The Institute for Women's Policy Research is a nonprofit, nonpartisan group supported by foundation and government grants. In its most recent assessment of the overall condition of American women, it named Mississippi the worst state in the country. It was also named the worst state for women in 1998, 2000 and 2002. It ranked 49th in terms of women in elected office, and at the bottom of the list for health and well-being, including the incidence of diabetes and deaths from cancer and heart disease.
The institute ranked Mississippi worst in the nation for reproductive rights.
Protesters have vowed to shut down the state's sole remaining abortion clinic, which is in Jackson.
Sometimes you don't even have to state an opinion.
You just have to state the facts. (January 24)
Computer? What's a COMPUTER?
The Web is the best thing for perverts since keyholes.
Hmmm, I wonder what THE RUPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s subliminal message is: NOT ME?
Hmmm, I wonder what THE RUPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s subliminal message is: NOT ME?
Another eulogy for blogging:
To be fair, the commenters reacting to Pontificator's post did get around to more important topics, like Byron York's cellphone. "For the record, Byron York's cellphone rang during the Plame panel," said QuickSilver. Shayera said it rang either "two or three times. And I'm sure about that." QuickSilver just had to know if York checked his caller ID before he answered it. He did, says Shayera of the man she called Byron "big hair" York. "I was two tables back and to the right, so I had a perfect view."
QuickSilver, Shayera, we salute your reporting. Stellar stuff. Thanks for showing us the way. Thanks for not just working it out in workshop, where the words disappear into the ether. But for putting it down, in black and white, where it can be read forever by the netroots, who need something to read while "Crashing the Gate," as Kos put it. And we can talk about this and so much else on Daily Kos. About the netroots and People Power and Byron York's Byronic locks and cellphone habits. And we can talk, and talk, and talk some more, even when we've run out of things to say.
To be fair, the commenters reacting to Pontificator's post did get around to more important topics, like Byron York's cellphone. "For the record, Byron York's cellphone rang during the Plame panel," said QuickSilver. Shayera said it rang either "two or three times. And I'm sure about that." QuickSilver just had to know if York checked his caller ID before he answered it. He did, says Shayera of the man she called Byron "big hair" York. "I was two tables back and to the right, so I had a perfect view."
QuickSilver, Shayera, we salute your reporting. Stellar stuff. Thanks for showing us the way. Thanks for not just working it out in workshop, where the words disappear into the ether. But for putting it down, in black and white, where it can be read forever by the netroots, who need something to read while "Crashing the Gate," as Kos put it. And we can talk about this and so much else on Daily Kos. About the netroots and People Power and Byron York's Byronic locks and cellphone habits. And we can talk, and talk, and talk some more, even when we've run out of things to say.
Gritty rats and mice living in sewers and farms seem to have healthier immune systems than their squeaky clean cousins that frolic in cushy antiseptic labs, two studies indicate. The lesson for humans: Clean living may make us sick.
The studies give more weight to a 17-year-old theory that the sanitized Western world may be partly to blame for soaring rates of human allergy and asthma cases and some autoimmune diseases, such as Type I diabetes and rheumatoid arthritis.
Okay, let's go back to the good ol' days of MALARIA and TYPHOID and DYSENTERY and TB -- diseases brought on by our CLEAN LIVING!
(Via ArtsJournal, which occasionally goes into overdrive hunting down such tripe)
The studies give more weight to a 17-year-old theory that the sanitized Western world may be partly to blame for soaring rates of human allergy and asthma cases and some autoimmune diseases, such as Type I diabetes and rheumatoid arthritis.
Okay, let's go back to the good ol' days of MALARIA and TYPHOID and DYSENTERY and TB -- diseases brought on by our CLEAN LIVING!
(Via ArtsJournal, which occasionally goes into overdrive hunting down such tripe)
MORE MONUMENTAL SPORTS WRITING:
"I just can't believe I did that," Mickelson said early Sunday evening, his face still glassy with sweat after making [SIC] a double bogey on the 72nd hole to turn a one-stroke lead into a monumental -- and history-changing -- collapse.
HISSSSSSSSSSSSTORRRRRRRRRRRRY-CHANGING! LIKE BUNKER HILL! LIKE PEARL HARBOR! LIKE...WRONG-WAY CHOKING AT THE OPEN!
HISSSSSSSSSSSSTORRRRRRRRRRRRY-CHANGING!
"I just can't believe I did that," Mickelson said early Sunday evening, his face still glassy with sweat after making [SIC] a double bogey on the 72nd hole to turn a one-stroke lead into a monumental -- and history-changing -- collapse.
HISSSSSSSSSSSSTORRRRRRRRRRRRY-CHANGING! LIKE BUNKER HILL! LIKE PEARL HARBOR! LIKE...WRONG-WAY CHOKING AT THE OPEN!
HISSSSSSSSSSSSTORRRRRRRRRRRRY-CHANGING!
So THAT'S the problem -- CONGRESSPOOP RESPECTED X. MARINE isn't LIBERAL ENOUGH!
More such noble thinking and KOS will elect more Democrats!
More such noble thinking and KOS will elect more Democrats!
LAST GRAF:
For the first seven weeks of Hollywood's extended summer season, grosses are up 0.2% but attendance is down 2.8%. The season's next key release comes Friday, when Sony Pictures' comedy "Click," starring Adam Sandler, opens at more than 3,500 theaters.
For the first seven weeks of Hollywood's extended summer season, grosses are up 0.2% but attendance is down 2.8%. The season's next key release comes Friday, when Sony Pictures' comedy "Click," starring Adam Sandler, opens at more than 3,500 theaters.
Which led to a link to this story. We can see why a Wall Street Journals writer might hope baseball goes all-subscription-model. But then you don't hear that much about baseball anymore (except for negatives like Barry Bonds*) -- and come to think of it, we don't hear much about the Wall Street Journals either.
P. S. This is possibly the first day we've ever linked to TWO Wall Street Journals stories -- and the last for three years.
P. S. This is possibly the first day we've ever linked to TWO Wall Street Journals stories -- and the last for three years.
And yet another hack cries in his beer. John "Nobel" Updike's "hit" is but this year's version of Tom "Catch Phrase" Wolfe's "smash" of '04, which after a fast marketing-driven best-seller-list start is now remembered (if at all) as a winner of the Bad-Sex-in-Literature Award.
Marketing may overcome flacks, but it cannot overcome posterity.
(Via MediaBistro)
Marketing may overcome flacks, but it cannot overcome posterity.
(Via MediaBistro)
And in more news-hack hero worship:
Helen Thomas says White House reporters were more lapdogs than watchdogs during the buildup to the war. CNN's John King tells Peter Johnson: "I just don't buy it, but I say this carefully because Helen is a god [SIC!!!!!] in our business...."
And she looks it.
Helen Thomas says White House reporters were more lapdogs than watchdogs during the buildup to the war. CNN's John King tells Peter Johnson: "I just don't buy it, but I say this carefully because Helen is a god [SIC!!!!!] in our business...."
And she looks it.
The hacks are in their self-pity mode again. One of them is blaming the dimwit zillionaire of Ain't It Cool News for DESTROYING movie CRITICISM. The fact is, if he did it (doubtful), he had mentors. Nobody told Gene Shalit to turn movies into a ONE-LINER LAFF RIOT, or the ink-stained Messrs. Siskel and Ebert to have their thumb bones fused up so they could dance into a TV studio and make their own zillions above the title. They were Ain't It Cool News before the Internet, and without the grunge sensibility. There's really no difference between these several types of flackery, only that the newer dimwit probably couldn't recite the life stories of Erich von Stroheim and Fritz Lang. And whatever drool-inducing drivel Mr. Ain't wrote didn't seem to help MMMMMMMMMM-IIIIIIIIII-THREEEEEEEEEE's box office, suggesting even his target audience doesn't take him seriously. Several of Mr. Ain't's alleged rub-outs were also victims of buyouts and (in the Trib's case) a mere switching of positions (prodded in part by the fact that GENE SISKEL'S SUCCESSOR wasn't BRINGING HOME THE BACON). Of course we don't doubt news hacks would dumb down their properties to attract readers. And there's a problem with that idea too: it doesn't seem to be working.
(Via the usual ArtsJournal.com)
(Via the usual ArtsJournal.com)
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Doesn't anybody here wanna win this game?
And this was "shocking" too!
Any word used by DA POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and DA NOOZ and DA GREG is not worth using.
And this was "shocking" too!
Any word used by DA POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and DA NOOZ and DA GREG is not worth using.
Greg is shocked -- SHOCKED -- by events in IRAQ:
'WASH POST' OBTAINS SHOCKING MEMO FROM U.S. EMBASSY IN BAGHDAD!!!!! DETAILS INCREASING DANGER AND HARDSHIP!!!!!!!!!!
How 'bout it, Greg? Worse than HIROSHIMA?
'WASH POST' OBTAINS SHOCKING MEMO FROM U.S. EMBASSY IN BAGHDAD!!!!! DETAILS INCREASING DANGER AND HARDSHIP!!!!!!!!!!
How 'bout it, Greg? Worse than HIROSHIMA?
As The TWO BILLS go off hand-in-hand into the sunset, curing all the world's ills, there is still time for joking:
Did you hear the one about Bill Gates at the Pearly Gates? Of course you didn't, because I just made it up.
It goes like this: Some years in the future, Bill heads for his final reward. He pulls up at the reception desk, where all his earthly deeds are placed in the balance.
"In the last few decades, I've been solving humanity's biggest problems," he explains modestly. "Through my foundation, I've wiped out malaria and AIDS, cured cancer, ended Third World malnutrition, and sent a billion poor children to school."
"Hmmm, very good," replies the gatekeeper, peering closely at the heavenly scales. "Your charitable works are most impressive. On balance, they just about make up for Microsoft Word."
The TWO BILLS are Boomers to the core, and in reflecting on their profound work we must ask, what will they leave behind? IE and the meaning of IS. They should reflect that they wouldn't be around but for global cataclysm. Who had more impact? Hitler and Tojo for starting a war -- and FDR for finishing it? Or the TWO BILLS with their blend of monomania and bathos, forcing people every day into their trivial pursuits?
Moreover this is the 37th year of THE ME DECADE, which Boomers have dominated utterly. Who can ponder any year of the decade without cringing? The Twenties (to give an example) were a majestic time, and those who lived through it can point to dozens of lasting achievements of the mind and the spirit with pride -- Lindbergh's heroism, for one. What can we look back to in this age? Disco? Leisure suits? Dallas? Friends? Oprah? [C]RAP?? Tonya and Nancy? Reality TV? Please! How apt that the defining moments of the decade have been abject catastrophes: the great national nervous breakdown of the seventies, 9/11 toward the end. Only the late eighties, with their false hope of world liberation, broke the trend, and no one saw Islam coming. We can look back to the Revolution and the Civil War and see heroes. When the future looks back at us, with swine like Nixon and cowards like Carter and caricatures like The TWO BILLS leading it, it will laugh, and sneer.
Did you hear the one about Bill Gates at the Pearly Gates? Of course you didn't, because I just made it up.
It goes like this: Some years in the future, Bill heads for his final reward. He pulls up at the reception desk, where all his earthly deeds are placed in the balance.
"In the last few decades, I've been solving humanity's biggest problems," he explains modestly. "Through my foundation, I've wiped out malaria and AIDS, cured cancer, ended Third World malnutrition, and sent a billion poor children to school."
"Hmmm, very good," replies the gatekeeper, peering closely at the heavenly scales. "Your charitable works are most impressive. On balance, they just about make up for Microsoft Word."
The TWO BILLS are Boomers to the core, and in reflecting on their profound work we must ask, what will they leave behind? IE and the meaning of IS. They should reflect that they wouldn't be around but for global cataclysm. Who had more impact? Hitler and Tojo for starting a war -- and FDR for finishing it? Or the TWO BILLS with their blend of monomania and bathos, forcing people every day into their trivial pursuits?
Moreover this is the 37th year of THE ME DECADE, which Boomers have dominated utterly. Who can ponder any year of the decade without cringing? The Twenties (to give an example) were a majestic time, and those who lived through it can point to dozens of lasting achievements of the mind and the spirit with pride -- Lindbergh's heroism, for one. What can we look back to in this age? Disco? Leisure suits? Dallas? Friends? Oprah? [C]RAP?? Tonya and Nancy? Reality TV? Please! How apt that the defining moments of the decade have been abject catastrophes: the great national nervous breakdown of the seventies, 9/11 toward the end. Only the late eighties, with their false hope of world liberation, broke the trend, and no one saw Islam coming. We can look back to the Revolution and the Civil War and see heroes. When the future looks back at us, with swine like Nixon and cowards like Carter and caricatures like The TWO BILLS leading it, it will laugh, and sneer.
I said it three weeks ago, I'll say it again: I don't care what PAUL DRECK and the PRESS AGENTS say -- every movie that was supposed to do a BILLION in biz has been a disappointment. The summer B. O. was supposed to be up 12 TO 15 PERCENT!!!!!!!!!! Likely it's half that. And admissions are virtually unchanged from last year, and still below 2004. This weekend numbers 2 and 3 went DOWN Friday-to-Saturday -- just like the X...just like DVC!!!!!!!!!!. No, I DON'T care what PAUL DRECK and the PRESS AGENTS say. People are getting wise to this business, and in their own peculiar manner they're STAYING AWAY.
So the HONORABLE MR. SPEAKER made BIG PROFITS in a DEAL.
Why are we not surprised by something like this? His House is a giant WINDFALL for His members.
Why are we not surprised by something like this? His House is a giant WINDFALL for His members.
Hey! I think we've found another stealth candidate we can fool the public with!
He's so stealth we wonder if HE knows what he believes in!
Any story that quotes Dick Durbin, Chuck SCHOOOOOO-mah and FATSO GLUB-GLUB is a sales pitch. But hey, we just ran one in our RAG, so what?
P. S. Apparently not.
He's so stealth we wonder if HE knows what he believes in!
Any story that quotes Dick Durbin, Chuck SCHOOOOOO-mah and FATSO GLUB-GLUB is a sales pitch. But hey, we just ran one in our RAG, so what?
P. S. Apparently not.
A laptop containing the Social Security numbers and other personal data of 13,000 District of Columbia employees and retirees has been stolen, officials said.
The computer was stolen Monday from the Washington home of an employee of ING U.S. Financial Services, said officials with the company, which administers the district's retirement plan.
We would say this isn't important because most DC employees don't work anyway, but um, uh, er....
They may earn salaries.
By the way, isn't ING the company with the cute little orange ball that says it pays huge interest on savings accounts?
The computer was stolen Monday from the Washington home of an employee of ING U.S. Financial Services, said officials with the company, which administers the district's retirement plan.
We would say this isn't important because most DC employees don't work anyway, but um, uh, er....
They may earn salaries.
By the way, isn't ING the company with the cute little orange ball that says it pays huge interest on savings accounts?
And given what may be out there, is it NOT a waste of resources to pursue non-stories like THIS?
Those hyperobsessive Trekkie video makers aren't the only ones to whom we say, GET A LIFE!
Those hyperobsessive Trekkie video makers aren't the only ones to whom we say, GET A LIFE!
Here's something truly EXASPERATING: Mr. Mark's INTERNATIONAL edition runs a COVER STORY on how our auto makers could compete with the Japanese. I would much rather learn how we can save our car biz than be subjected to HAMMER-ON-ANVIL advertising -- the readers being the ANVIL. (Or possibly the hammer, the purpose of striking hammers on anvils being to BREAK THE HAMMER.)
So far as we can determine this story does NOT appear in the DOMESTIC EDITION.
MR. MARK has just become eligible for our NEUHARTHISM OF THE YEAR AWARD!
So far as we can determine this story does NOT appear in the DOMESTIC EDITION.
MR. MARK has just become eligible for our NEUHARTHISM OF THE YEAR AWARD!
All RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!! Mr. Mark runs an AD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just one problem: the TWXSTERS ran NEWS.
I must say it for the thousandth time: if the people who ran these piles of pulp concentrated on reporting they might make them worthwhile again. But no, they must turn them into ADVERTORIALS.
As for the TWXSTERS' story, this doesn't surprise us. We wonder what other plots came to a halt due to sheer inertia.
OR:
HE WASN'T LOOKING FOR SUPERSTARDOM, SO SUPERSTARDOM CAME LOOKING FOR HIM!! JOHNNY DEPP ON FAMILY, 'PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 2'—AND HOW HE GOT A CHEST OF GOLD WITHOUT SELLING HIS SOUL!!!!!
Whoever wrote this is getting a BIG promotion. Whoever wrote this should be FIRED.
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD to MR. MARK and SEAN SMITH!