THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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Saturday, July 08, 2006
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW:
Lay to Be Buried in Colorado After Houston `Broke His Heart'
And how many people did YOU break, Kenny Boy?
Robert Prentice, a professor at the University of Texas, said Lay will be remembered publicly for the Enron scandal, not the career and community contributions that preceded it.
``The generosity that he showed the city of Houston should never be forgotten,'' Prentice said. ``Unfortunately, we now know that it was done largely with other people's money.''
One can be VERY generous that way.
Lay to Be Buried in Colorado After Houston `Broke His Heart'
And how many people did YOU break, Kenny Boy?
Robert Prentice, a professor at the University of Texas, said Lay will be remembered publicly for the Enron scandal, not the career and community contributions that preceded it.
``The generosity that he showed the city of Houston should never be forgotten,'' Prentice said. ``Unfortunately, we now know that it was done largely with other people's money.''
One can be VERY generous that way.
When I read JPOD's squib I thought, oh oh, another con-SER-va-tive demolition job on Harry Truman. Happily this is not the case. Noemie Emery says he had iron. That he did. Today's Democrats have mercury. But just as knee-jerk liberals deny their history why must con-SER-va-tives liken their Pygmy president to the real thing?
And speaking of SUPERDUPERMEGASMASHES, by accident today we stumbled across this press release for THE MERGER OF THE MILLENNIUM, and got reminded why we do not trust one word of show-biz coverage, including definite and indefinite articles:
"TOGETHER, THEY REPRESENT AN UNPRECEDENTED POWERHOUSE!!!!!” said Scott Ehrens, a media analyst with Bear Stearns. "IF THEIR MANTRA IS CONTENT, THIS ALLIANCE IS UNBEATABLE!!!!! NOW THEY HAVE THIS GREAT PLATFORM THEY CAN CROSS-FERTILIZE WITH CONTENT AND REDISTRIBUTE!!!!!”....
"I DON’T THINK THIS IS TOO MUCH TO SAY THIS REALLY IS A HISTORIC MERGER; A TIME WHEN WE’VE TRANSFORMED THE LANDSCAPE OF MEDIA AND THE INTERNET!!!!!” said Steve Case, AOL’s chairman and chief executive officer. "AOL-TIME WARNER WILL OFFER AN INCOMPARABLE PORTFOLIO OF GLOBAL BRANDS THAT ENCOMPASS THE FULL SPECTRUM OF MEDIA AND CONTENT!!!!!”....
"TODAY’S ANNOUNCEMENT REALLY DOES CHANGE THE TECTONIC PLATES IN THIS WORLD!!!!!” said Christopher Dixon, media analyst with PaineWebber.
"THIS REALLY UNDERSCORES THE STRENGTH OF THE INTERNET!!!!!” he said. "THE INTERNET IS HERE AND IT’S NO LONGER JUST ABOUT TECHS!!!!! IT’S ABOUT BROADBAND, IT’S ABOUT STREAMING VIDEO, IT’S ABOUT STREAMING MUSIC AND IT’S ABOUT COMING UP WITH ALL KINDS OF WAYS TO USE YOUR COMPUTER IN A VERY TV-LIKE EXPERIENCE!!!!!”....
"THIS IS THE FIRST MAJOR COMBINATION OF AN ONLINE COMPANY AND A BRICKS-AND-MORTAR MEDIA COMPANY!!!!!” said Ben Rogoff, manager of Aberdeen Asset Management’s technology fund in London, which has more than 1 billion pounds ($1.6 billion) in assets, and holds America Online stock. "IT’S THE DEAL THAT EVERYONE WILL HAVE TO FOLLOW!!!!!”....
"IF MICROSOFT REALLY WANTS TO BE A PLAYER IN THE MEDIA SPACE, THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE TO RESPOND!!!!!” Ehrens said. "THIS [DEAL] JUST PUSHES AOL/TIME WARNER INTO THE STRATOSPHERE AHEAD OF THEM!!!!!”
[Overemphasis added.]
This is the ultimate expression of PAUL DRECKISM, and needless to say there is not ONE TRUE STATEMENT in the whole piece. Steve 'n' Gerry were out to hoodwink the people, and they succeeded brilliantly. No one dared note the fallacy of it all. There was too much hubris at stake. Only the shareholders suffered, and the employees. And they didn't matter. How could they with such a superb PARADIGM?
By the way, whatever happened to Gerry Levin -- and who cares?
"TOGETHER, THEY REPRESENT AN UNPRECEDENTED POWERHOUSE!!!!!” said Scott Ehrens, a media analyst with Bear Stearns. "IF THEIR MANTRA IS CONTENT, THIS ALLIANCE IS UNBEATABLE!!!!! NOW THEY HAVE THIS GREAT PLATFORM THEY CAN CROSS-FERTILIZE WITH CONTENT AND REDISTRIBUTE!!!!!”....
"I DON’T THINK THIS IS TOO MUCH TO SAY THIS REALLY IS A HISTORIC MERGER; A TIME WHEN WE’VE TRANSFORMED THE LANDSCAPE OF MEDIA AND THE INTERNET!!!!!” said Steve Case, AOL’s chairman and chief executive officer. "AOL-TIME WARNER WILL OFFER AN INCOMPARABLE PORTFOLIO OF GLOBAL BRANDS THAT ENCOMPASS THE FULL SPECTRUM OF MEDIA AND CONTENT!!!!!”....
"TODAY’S ANNOUNCEMENT REALLY DOES CHANGE THE TECTONIC PLATES IN THIS WORLD!!!!!” said Christopher Dixon, media analyst with PaineWebber.
"THIS REALLY UNDERSCORES THE STRENGTH OF THE INTERNET!!!!!” he said. "THE INTERNET IS HERE AND IT’S NO LONGER JUST ABOUT TECHS!!!!! IT’S ABOUT BROADBAND, IT’S ABOUT STREAMING VIDEO, IT’S ABOUT STREAMING MUSIC AND IT’S ABOUT COMING UP WITH ALL KINDS OF WAYS TO USE YOUR COMPUTER IN A VERY TV-LIKE EXPERIENCE!!!!!”....
"THIS IS THE FIRST MAJOR COMBINATION OF AN ONLINE COMPANY AND A BRICKS-AND-MORTAR MEDIA COMPANY!!!!!” said Ben Rogoff, manager of Aberdeen Asset Management’s technology fund in London, which has more than 1 billion pounds ($1.6 billion) in assets, and holds America Online stock. "IT’S THE DEAL THAT EVERYONE WILL HAVE TO FOLLOW!!!!!”....
"IF MICROSOFT REALLY WANTS TO BE A PLAYER IN THE MEDIA SPACE, THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE TO RESPOND!!!!!” Ehrens said. "THIS [DEAL] JUST PUSHES AOL/TIME WARNER INTO THE STRATOSPHERE AHEAD OF THEM!!!!!”
[Overemphasis added.]
This is the ultimate expression of PAUL DRECKISM, and needless to say there is not ONE TRUE STATEMENT in the whole piece. Steve 'n' Gerry were out to hoodwink the people, and they succeeded brilliantly. No one dared note the fallacy of it all. There was too much hubris at stake. Only the shareholders suffered, and the employees. And they didn't matter. How could they with such a superb PARADIGM?
By the way, whatever happened to Gerry Levin -- and who cares?
We can't figure out what nonsense is going on with the paper in Santa Barbara, as we're not exactly close to it and have learned from long experience to ignore such things, but these grafs (via the usual Romy) makes us think the brouhaha may not be so important in the long-running battle to TELL THE TRUTH:
This one had it all: mass resignations, executive editor Jerry Roberts marched off the premises, and a howling mob of staffers screaming obscenities at the publisher.
Man, you don't see that kind of passion for the news much any more. (Although when the Chronicle moved the horoscope to the classified ad pages it was close.)
This one had it all: mass resignations, executive editor Jerry Roberts marched off the premises, and a howling mob of staffers screaming obscenities at the publisher.
Man, you don't see that kind of passion for the news much any more. (Although when the Chronicle moved the horoscope to the classified ad pages it was close.)
ALL RIGHT, PAUL DRECK, YOU GOT YOUR SUPERDUPERMEGASMASH, but two things: 1. Somehow LUKE SPIELBERG'S SUPERDUPERMEGASMASH (number TWO on the list) did not prevent last year's dreaded slump; and 2. Who wants to bet this is X-MEN III II?
We're surprised this hasn't made the news services yet. This is almost as good news as disclosing another secret spy program -- which is one reason it gets us mad.
We're surprised this hasn't made the news services yet. This is almost as good news as disclosing another secret spy program -- which is one reason it gets us mad.
Friday, July 07, 2006
Sales -- er, ANALYST PITCH, er, RECOMMENDATION OF THE WEEK:
Talk about lousy timing.
Stephen Tusa, an analyst at JPMorgan, upgraded 3M Co. to ``overweight'' today, saying the maker of everything from screen coatings to Post-It notes, is a safe investment during an economic slowdown.
Unfortunately for Tusa, the upgrade came hours before the company said it will miss its forecasts for second-quarter earnings. The news drove the shares down as much as 8.6 percent, the biggest decline in more than eight years.
The Big 3 (and Corning) seems to have tanked because LCD TV and monitor manufacturers aren't requiring its screen coatings (or Corning's glass) because they have lots of "inventory", which tells us with any luck HD-set prices may really be coming down.
The industry also overestimated demand for LCD televisions ahead of this summer's World Cup soccer tournament in Germany.
Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft!!!!!
Talk about lousy timing.
Stephen Tusa, an analyst at JPMorgan, upgraded 3M Co. to ``overweight'' today, saying the maker of everything from screen coatings to Post-It notes, is a safe investment during an economic slowdown.
Unfortunately for Tusa, the upgrade came hours before the company said it will miss its forecasts for second-quarter earnings. The news drove the shares down as much as 8.6 percent, the biggest decline in more than eight years.
The Big 3 (and Corning) seems to have tanked because LCD TV and monitor manufacturers aren't requiring its screen coatings (or Corning's glass) because they have lots of "inventory", which tells us with any luck HD-set prices may really be coming down.
The industry also overestimated demand for LCD televisions ahead of this summer's World Cup soccer tournament in Germany.
Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft!!!!!
BLURB OF THE WEEK:
Calling a summer movie 'action-packed' is supposed to be a compliment, but there's nothing so tedious as nonstop excitement.
-- Stephanie Zacharek, SALON.COM
Hey RottenTomatoes.com! Thanks for forcing me to copy this with WORD. Is there an IPO in your future?
Calling a summer movie 'action-packed' is supposed to be a compliment, but there's nothing so tedious as nonstop excitement.
-- Stephanie Zacharek, SALON.COM
Hey RottenTomatoes.com! Thanks for forcing me to copy this with WORD. Is there an IPO in your future?
Somebody named Metcalf has written a treatise on one of the greatest movies of all time, one which has gotten the likes of The Corner into a tiz, so it would be easy to ignore this key nugget in the whole shebang:
[The Searchers'] reputation lies elsewhere, with two influential and mutually reinforcing constituencies: critics whose careers emerged out of the rise of "film studies" as a discrete and self-respecting academic discipline, and the first generation of filmmakers—Scorsese and Schrader, but also Francis Ford Coppola, John Milius, and George Lucas—whose careers began in film school. The hosanna chorus for The Searchers is impossible to imagine, in other words, without the formalized presence of film in the university curriculum.
In short, a bunch of self-referencing self-absorbed eggheads praises a rotten movie, and goes on to make and praise rotten movies. This is news?
Another key nugget:
[S]uch encomia have the curious effect of making the movie sound dutiful and unpleasant, like a prostate exam.
Such encomia often do.
We have not seen The Searchers, and do not entirely trust JPOD, but despite the fact Pauline Kael and Thumbs-Up Ebert disliked it, we suspect maybe it isn't so good, even with the two Johns.
[The Searchers'] reputation lies elsewhere, with two influential and mutually reinforcing constituencies: critics whose careers emerged out of the rise of "film studies" as a discrete and self-respecting academic discipline, and the first generation of filmmakers—Scorsese and Schrader, but also Francis Ford Coppola, John Milius, and George Lucas—whose careers began in film school. The hosanna chorus for The Searchers is impossible to imagine, in other words, without the formalized presence of film in the university curriculum.
In short, a bunch of self-referencing self-absorbed eggheads praises a rotten movie, and goes on to make and praise rotten movies. This is news?
Another key nugget:
[S]uch encomia have the curious effect of making the movie sound dutiful and unpleasant, like a prostate exam.
Such encomia often do.
We have not seen The Searchers, and do not entirely trust JPOD, but despite the fact Pauline Kael and Thumbs-Up Ebert disliked it, we suspect maybe it isn't so good, even with the two Johns.
The "taboo-busting" publisher and consumer-affairs scamster Ralph Ginzburg dies, and THE PAPER OF RE-CORD MOURNS.
If only more Ginzburgs could tell the truth -- that CONSERVATIVES ARE "PSYCHOLOGICALLY UNFIT" TO HOLD ANY OFFICE.
Pinch is inconsolable.
Add ANOTHER word to THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY.
(Via MediaBistro)
If only more Ginzburgs could tell the truth -- that CONSERVATIVES ARE "PSYCHOLOGICALLY UNFIT" TO HOLD ANY OFFICE.
Pinch is inconsolable.
Add ANOTHER word to THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY.
(Via MediaBistro)
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sirius, clearly helped by the launch of shock jock Howard Stern's show in January, said it added more than 600,000 subscribers in the second quarter, giving the company 4.7 million total subscribers.
This compares with an addition of about 400,00 [SIC!!!!!] new subscribers for XM, which has nearly 7 million subscribers.
And the stock has gone from $7 to $4.40!
I repeat: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We agree, TARZANA: DA POST IS a "crappy" paper.
Sirius, clearly helped by the launch of shock jock Howard Stern's show in January, said it added more than 600,000 subscribers in the second quarter, giving the company 4.7 million total subscribers.
This compares with an addition of about 400,00 [SIC!!!!!] new subscribers for XM, which has nearly 7 million subscribers.
And the stock has gone from $7 to $4.40!
I repeat: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We agree, TARZANA: DA POST IS a "crappy" paper.
C'mon, SNIDELY WHIPLASH, do the RIGHT thing: take the mon -- nomination and RUN!
WE WANT SNIDELY! WE WANT SNIDELY!
So will some prosecutors.
King's chat with the Bushes was a warm bath, not a hot seat
TRANSLATION: A Larry King "interview" is bad ONLY when the subject is conservative or Republican.
NEWS HACKS WILL NEVER CHANGE.
P. S. Kenny Boy was a "good guy."
The foot slowly makes its way toward the mouth -- again.
TRANSLATION: A Larry King "interview" is bad ONLY when the subject is conservative or Republican.
NEWS HACKS WILL NEVER CHANGE.
P. S. Kenny Boy was a "good guy."
The foot slowly makes its way toward the mouth -- again.
The good news: an "expert" has proclaimed a $50 million painting a fake.
The bad news: He's selling a book.
(Via the usual ArtsJournal.com)
The bad news: He's selling a book.
(Via the usual ArtsJournal.com)
Speaking of business ethics, this bit in a BizWeek column about corporate America's secret savior didn't strike us until today:
Ken Lay, the disgraced former CEO of Enron who died July 5 at age 64, leaves a legacy of shame. His mismanagement and dishonesty brought down a giant corporation, he was ultimately responsible for destroying thousands of jobs and billions of dollars in employees' savings and shareholders' wealth, and he was found criminally guilty of massive fraud.
Perversely, there's also a remarkably positive aspect to his legacy. In the post-Lay, post-Enron era, corporations are behaving a lot better. Lay's terrible example of how not to run a large corporation helped fundamentally reform U.S. companies' standards of leadership, governance, and accountability.
Yes, a lot of the improvement is the result of more intense government oversight—the kind of regulation and enforcement Enron always railed against and which should have been in place so a debacle like Enron was not allowed to happen.
Yes, indeed. But for the fear of the law and appearing politically incorrect to news hacks nothing would hold back big biz. That's the damnable thing: we cannot expect businessmen to be moral ON THEIR OWN. The question is certainly not if the next Ken Lay will appear, it's WHEN.
Ken Lay, the disgraced former CEO of Enron who died July 5 at age 64, leaves a legacy of shame. His mismanagement and dishonesty brought down a giant corporation, he was ultimately responsible for destroying thousands of jobs and billions of dollars in employees' savings and shareholders' wealth, and he was found criminally guilty of massive fraud.
Perversely, there's also a remarkably positive aspect to his legacy. In the post-Lay, post-Enron era, corporations are behaving a lot better. Lay's terrible example of how not to run a large corporation helped fundamentally reform U.S. companies' standards of leadership, governance, and accountability.
Yes, a lot of the improvement is the result of more intense government oversight—the kind of regulation and enforcement Enron always railed against and which should have been in place so a debacle like Enron was not allowed to happen.
Yes, indeed. But for the fear of the law and appearing politically incorrect to news hacks nothing would hold back big biz. That's the damnable thing: we cannot expect businessmen to be moral ON THEIR OWN. The question is certainly not if the next Ken Lay will appear, it's WHEN.
POPULIST SENTIMENT OF THE WEEK:
More and more seats at hit shows are being set aside for well-heeled customers. Most producers are thrilled with the demand, because it increases their chances of making money in an industry that has always been a crapshoot.
But some fear the emphasis on premium-price seats is alienating middle- and working-class theatergoers.
Says one producer: "The number of premium seats for the special-event shows are spiraling out of control. We're setting up a system that says, Hey, if you're not rich, don't even bother coming to our show.
"That's good for our bank accounts, but it's not good for the health of the theater."
Cut the comedy, guy. (You've already cut the drama and the musicals.) Aren't you familiar with the old Irving Berlin lyric -- "Everything the traffic will allow"? What you producer-conspirators REALLY ought to do is price the first twenty rows of the orchestra at $2000 and every other seat at $1000 -- except the last row of the nosebleed section, which you can price at $10 and suitably trumpet in a PR campaign.
Thankfully these are theme parks, not theaters.
P. S. On July 9 at 5:46 p.m.: I fixed the post; I thought the lyric was "anything."
More and more seats at hit shows are being set aside for well-heeled customers. Most producers are thrilled with the demand, because it increases their chances of making money in an industry that has always been a crapshoot.
But some fear the emphasis on premium-price seats is alienating middle- and working-class theatergoers.
Says one producer: "The number of premium seats for the special-event shows are spiraling out of control. We're setting up a system that says, Hey, if you're not rich, don't even bother coming to our show.
"That's good for our bank accounts, but it's not good for the health of the theater."
Cut the comedy, guy. (You've already cut the drama and the musicals.) Aren't you familiar with the old Irving Berlin lyric -- "Everything the traffic will allow"? What you producer-conspirators REALLY ought to do is price the first twenty rows of the orchestra at $2000 and every other seat at $1000 -- except the last row of the nosebleed section, which you can price at $10 and suitably trumpet in a PR campaign.
Thankfully these are theme parks, not theaters.
P. S. On July 9 at 5:46 p.m.: I fixed the post; I thought the lyric was "anything."
Conservatives are making a lot of a LALATimes poll indicating that over a third of liberal Democrats wouldn't vote for an evangelical Christian. We're surprised a Stale.com or TNR hasn't issued a typically cute defense with its trademark glibness, to wit: liberal Democrats are the most tolerant people in the universe's history, but that won't prevent them from standing up to bigots, as Dr. King did; and the Naz -- indefensible behavior of evangelicals (anti-abortion, anti-gay-marriage, etc.), though it is steeped in religious tradition, is inherently a POLITICAL thing, so we liberals can hate evangelical Christians for their INTOLERANCE.
Some of this unease toward evangelicals is understandable; many liberals are Jews, and they look with proper suspicion at the Falwell-Robertson axis, which speaks of Israel with a certain icky condescension and has never stopped making noises about conversions. Many liberals, however, are not Jews, and so we must view this statistic as yet another expression of the preening superiority of academics, newspaper scribblers and show-biz types, who ARE liberal. The irony is many liberals have come to hate Jews, and we doubt that the Republic has seen such open espousal of Jew-hatred since the days of "Father" Coughlin and America First. I guess it depends on which foot the religious intolerance is on.
Some of this unease toward evangelicals is understandable; many liberals are Jews, and they look with proper suspicion at the Falwell-Robertson axis, which speaks of Israel with a certain icky condescension and has never stopped making noises about conversions. Many liberals, however, are not Jews, and so we must view this statistic as yet another expression of the preening superiority of academics, newspaper scribblers and show-biz types, who ARE liberal. The irony is many liberals have come to hate Jews, and we doubt that the Republic has seen such open espousal of Jew-hatred since the days of "Father" Coughlin and America First. I guess it depends on which foot the religious intolerance is on.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
More proof THE WALL STREET JOURNALS are politically -- FLEXIBLE:
Carla Anne Robbins, a longtime reporter and editor at The Wall Street Journal, will join The New York Times editorial board and take the post of assistant editorial page editor, the Times announced Thursday.
From one superliberal paper to another. (Yep, she wasn't on the knee-jerk-right end.) Need we doubt the Journals are TWO underhanded papers in one?
Carla Anne Robbins, a longtime reporter and editor at The Wall Street Journal, will join The New York Times editorial board and take the post of assistant editorial page editor, the Times announced Thursday.
From one superliberal paper to another. (Yep, she wasn't on the knee-jerk-right end.) Need we doubt the Journals are TWO underhanded papers in one?
Surprise:
U.N. diplomats hailing from countries where America is unpopular are more likely to ignore city parking tickets than those from places where this country is viewed favorably, a study shows.
Economists from Columbia University and the University of California at Berkeley examined thousands of parking tickets issued to the city's large diplomatic corps.
They found that diplomats from Egypt, Chad and Sudan have an increased tendency to laugh off tickets.
There is a simple solution: move the League of Nations to KHARTOUM.
In the meantime we should at least deduct the tickets from all the billions we give HOSNI the THUG.
U.N. diplomats hailing from countries where America is unpopular are more likely to ignore city parking tickets than those from places where this country is viewed favorably, a study shows.
Economists from Columbia University and the University of California at Berkeley examined thousands of parking tickets issued to the city's large diplomatic corps.
They found that diplomats from Egypt, Chad and Sudan have an increased tendency to laugh off tickets.
There is a simple solution: move the League of Nations to KHARTOUM.
In the meantime we should at least deduct the tickets from all the billions we give HOSNI the THUG.
TARZANA TAKES ON RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:
Once considered a legitimate daily, the Post has been reduced to tabloid status best known for Page Six's breathless accounts of Paris Hilton's latest ruttings, and headlines like "Vampire Teen -- H.S. Girl Is Out for Blood." How crappy a newspaper is the Post? Let me put it this way: It's New York's second-crappiest paper.
Did you write this?
(Via GREG via BookStandard.com)
Once considered a legitimate daily, the Post has been reduced to tabloid status best known for Page Six's breathless accounts of Paris Hilton's latest ruttings, and headlines like "Vampire Teen -- H.S. Girl Is Out for Blood." How crappy a newspaper is the Post? Let me put it this way: It's New York's second-crappiest paper.
Did you write this?
(Via GREG via BookStandard.com)
Oh-oh: A CRACK in the PRESS MONOLITH: the managing editors of the WaPost and the Wall Street Journals REFUSED to join in -- THE LETTER!!!!!
Maybe that P-Ulitzer auditioning wasn't as patriotic as some people thought.
Maybe that P-Ulitzer auditioning wasn't as patriotic as some people thought.
Cheapie Marketwatch has become the latest big site to suddenly and unnecessarily change itself (principally we suspect to get rid of the Wall Street Journals freebies), and while it is relatively tame and appears not to have been done for the glory of CLEARTYPE, we still don’t like these things. Who in his right mind thinks STALE.COM is better looking or easier to read now?
This whole business reminds us of the compulsion in the allegedly golden age of television for shows to change their theme music when they ran into ratings trouble (i.e., The Patty Duke Show). It didn't work then, and it may not work now.
This whole business reminds us of the compulsion in the allegedly golden age of television for shows to change their theme music when they ran into ratings trouble (i.e., The Patty Duke Show). It didn't work then, and it may not work now.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Oops:
Click Fraud Cost Advertisers $800M Last Year
G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE....
Click Fraud Cost Advertisers $800M Last Year
G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE....
ARRRR!
We needn't be told America's consumer-products companies have an obsession with co-producing "entertainment," which is rather like co-producing an upraised middle finger. Certainly we needn't be told they do it sight-unseen, with not even so much as a book of publicity stills. They know what Luke Spielberg did for Reese's Pieces and think if they co-produce movies and slather the fact on every last product this magically BOOSTS SALES. But that was a fluke -- a fluke TWENTY-FOUR YEARS OLD. There's precious little evidence since that the egregious brand plastering's helped; moreover, as we have said before, it can BACKFIRE, as it most certainly did in the TRAGIC CASE OF AUDREY'S MONSTER, and as it quite possibly has with the almost-as-sad tale of the MAN OF STEEL, which, despite the furious spin, must be counted an underperformer. "Reverse psychology" is not in the marketer's dictionary, but increasingly it's in his repertoire, and that's why ads don't work anymore -- or movie co-productions.
Volvo, Kodak, McDonald's, Kellogg's, Visa, Gibson guitars, MySpace, Verizon, MSN Messenger, Valpak, M&M candies....
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
P. S.
But the problem with the "Pirates" films, and with this one more than the first, is that there's not a genuine moment in them -- no point of human contact (except, perhaps, for the Herculean efforts of Stellan Skarsgard, behind heavy makeup, to provide hints of a tragic dimension as Will's doomed father); they're baldly concocted, confected, engineered....These are the odd films that succeed by stirring neither the emotions nor the mind.
But DEFINITELY the pocketbook. What do you expect from a marketing machine?
(Via RottenTomatoes.com)
We needn't be told America's consumer-products companies have an obsession with co-producing "entertainment," which is rather like co-producing an upraised middle finger. Certainly we needn't be told they do it sight-unseen, with not even so much as a book of publicity stills. They know what Luke Spielberg did for Reese's Pieces and think if they co-produce movies and slather the fact on every last product this magically BOOSTS SALES. But that was a fluke -- a fluke TWENTY-FOUR YEARS OLD. There's precious little evidence since that the egregious brand plastering's helped; moreover, as we have said before, it can BACKFIRE, as it most certainly did in the TRAGIC CASE OF AUDREY'S MONSTER, and as it quite possibly has with the almost-as-sad tale of the MAN OF STEEL, which, despite the furious spin, must be counted an underperformer. "Reverse psychology" is not in the marketer's dictionary, but increasingly it's in his repertoire, and that's why ads don't work anymore -- or movie co-productions.
Volvo, Kodak, McDonald's, Kellogg's, Visa, Gibson guitars, MySpace, Verizon, MSN Messenger, Valpak, M&M candies....
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
P. S.
But the problem with the "Pirates" films, and with this one more than the first, is that there's not a genuine moment in them -- no point of human contact (except, perhaps, for the Herculean efforts of Stellan Skarsgard, behind heavy makeup, to provide hints of a tragic dimension as Will's doomed father); they're baldly concocted, confected, engineered....These are the odd films that succeed by stirring neither the emotions nor the mind.
But DEFINITELY the pocketbook. What do you expect from a marketing machine?
(Via RottenTomatoes.com)
We are sorry to hear the opera singer Lorraine Hunt Lieberson has died, although we must confess to our ignorance and admit we might not have noticed without the married (until recently) last name; but to be sure, she was evidently quite a voice, and musical talent does run in some families.
I guess this is supposed to be satire. Just one problem: it runs up against SELF-PARODY.
What? RUPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s GIRLFRIEND isn't here? SHAME!
What? RUPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s GIRLFRIEND isn't here? SHAME!
The crusaders at USAOKAY!!!!! seem bent on filling their Web site up with "news" of absolutely no import. This is the flip side of their courageous leaking, and proves the news hacks think they can make up for their half-truths by telling a whole slew of sixteenth- and thirty-second-truths, and even stories with no truth at all.
We do not know why people would choose to overtly steal from business when, as Ken Lay taught us, the best way is covert.
It seems to us his death gives him a measure of pathos he doesn't deserve. Yes, in a manner of speaking Ken Lay killed himself, and we saw the picture of his sneaky eyes filling with tears, but before feeling slightly sorry we must confront one unalterable fact: Ken Lay was never a very good guy.
It seems to us his death gives him a measure of pathos he doesn't deserve. Yes, in a manner of speaking Ken Lay killed himself, and we saw the picture of his sneaky eyes filling with tears, but before feeling slightly sorry we must confront one unalterable fact: Ken Lay was never a very good guy.
Okay, America's No. 1 SOUTH PARK fan, Rushbo is "cleared," but if he's in the clear why did he have his Viagra given to him under someone else's name?
And if he's so all powerful why does the pillhead need a psychiatrist?
And if he's so all powerful why does the pillhead need a psychiatrist?
Shootings are up in Boston -- despite a no-doubt-laughable gun-buyback program which we'd bet buys a lot of defective guns.
Or as some cretins would say, NO SNITCHIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Or as some cretins would say, NO SNITCHIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Meantime the hacks devise stirring new gimmicks to boost exposure -- like 3-D cartoons in their Web sites!
Le'ts see them run a 3-D cartoon in NEWSPRINT.
Le'ts see them run a 3-D cartoon in NEWSPRINT.
It appears NEWS HACKS aren't merely "circling the wagons" (sorry for the Jo-NAH), they're hunkering down in the atomic bunker. It is obvious these prima donnas of the the badly-written lousily-reasoned word would rather put thousands of innocent newspaper employees out of jobs than acknowledge that they may occasionally be WRONG.
Right now MNI is at $39.74. Fifteen months ago it was at $75. It is near a FIVE-YEAR-LOW. What will get these hacks into worrying about their employers? Bankruptcy?
Right now MNI is at $39.74. Fifteen months ago it was at $75. It is near a FIVE-YEAR-LOW. What will get these hacks into worrying about their employers? Bankruptcy?
The classical-music cri-TIC of the StinkyInky (and we shouldn't make fun of him; he's usually halfway decent) spends 1,180 words discerning what we can discern in five: today's stars have no FIREPOWER. Say what you will about BABS: she's as pleasant as a regiment of ladies with two-inch fingernails scratching a whole school's worth of blackboards, but once she could sing, and she deserves the fame. Who's Linda Eder? A StarSearch alumnus? Wasn't that the show Mr. Bud emceed?
And Frank WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILDhorn's ex?
(Via the inevitable ArtsJournal.com)
And Frank WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILDhorn's ex?
(Via the inevitable ArtsJournal.com)
The other day we printed a picture of a good doggie in a Boston hotel. Today we celebrate a good doggie in THE PAPER OF RE-CORD.
Good doggie! Nice doggie! Sit! Lie down! Roll over! Good doggie! Does anything Pinch wants him too.
The only thing is even Pinch wouldn't think he's cute.
(Via ROMY, who else)
Good doggie! Nice doggie! Sit! Lie down! Roll over! Good doggie! Does anything Pinch wants him too.
The only thing is even Pinch wouldn't think he's cute.
(Via ROMY, who else)
Shucks, it appears Ken Lay won't serve his sentence; the BIG C's reporting he's dead (according to cheapie Marketwatch).
Oh well, he'll serve his sentence elsewhere.
Oh well, he'll serve his sentence elsewhere.
Romy does it AGAIN:
Sports journos are whiter than Gingrich's 4th of July picnic
And the luxury news suites are pinker than a hothouse full of roses in May -- or a Siberian jail full of Communist apparatchiks about to be executed.
Sports journos are whiter than Gingrich's 4th of July picnic
And the luxury news suites are pinker than a hothouse full of roses in May -- or a Siberian jail full of Communist apparatchiks about to be executed.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
North Korea launched a long-range Taepodong-2 missile early Wednesday in an apparently unsuccessful test that failed in flight, a senior State Department official said.
I don't know as I'd be celebrating. What if such things had nukes?
I don't know as I'd be celebrating. What if such things had nukes?
Another of the Sophia Lorens of our time insists in a movie promo she doesn't have anorexia, something the Sophia Lorens somehow didn't have to worry about.
Here's one woman who did not have to consult her evening gowns.
The Gray Goo Gang has created an invisible American flag, which it can now implant in every native-born.
Ah'm PRAYOUD t'BE uh CAAAAYN...AMERI-CAAAAYN!
Ah'm PRAYOUD t'BE uh CAAAAYN...AMERI-CAAAAYN!
Democrats are sure they have Republicans cornered and reeling heading into this fall's elections, but Republicans are overjoyed by the campaign, believing that it simply reinforces their own message of being tough on terrorism and illegal aliens.
If CURLEY's (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES were RIGHT-wing....
If CURLEY's (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES were RIGHT-wing....
The Jordanaires sang on al-Zarqawi?
I guess they're not making quite the harmony they used to.
To the Americans? That's okay, we're used to fiction in news.
Then again, we're used to fiction in government.
I guess they're not making quite the harmony they used to.
To the Americans? That's okay, we're used to fiction in news.
Then again, we're used to fiction in government.
More than a dozen Democrats and more than a dozen Republicans are mentioned as possible candidates for the White House.
And thank God only one can be president.
And thank God only one can be president.
Town Hall is back, with a cheesy look, and I know why: It's now owned by a Christian broadcaster.
In twenty years how many independent Web sites will be left? There are few enough now.
In twenty years how many independent Web sites will be left? There are few enough now.
Fat people are not more jolly, according to a study that instead found obesity is strongly linked with depression and other mood disorders.
We can understand why: they're worried all the time about being fat.
More crusading truth telling from the ASSociated Press!
We can understand why: they're worried all the time about being fat.
More crusading truth telling from the ASSociated Press!
Have you ever noticed a certain hesitant quality to the expressions of patriotism by progressives or left-wingers?
Yes, E.J. If the con-SER-va-tive's patriotism is, "I love this country -- and anyone who doesn't ought to be SHOT!", the liberal's is, "Um, uh, I guess this country's kind of all right -- but I'd rather be in Switzerland."
And when the liberal's idea of patriotism is leaking state secrets, and yelling without end for an end to an unjust war, and telling people their religious creeds are bigotry, we can understand why he may be hesitant in the traditional love of country. He already loves himself.
Yes, E.J. If the con-SER-va-tive's patriotism is, "I love this country -- and anyone who doesn't ought to be SHOT!", the liberal's is, "Um, uh, I guess this country's kind of all right -- but I'd rather be in Switzerland."
And when the liberal's idea of patriotism is leaking state secrets, and yelling without end for an end to an unjust war, and telling people their religious creeds are bigotry, we can understand why he may be hesitant in the traditional love of country. He already loves himself.
Monday, July 03, 2006
Highly Effective Lobbying: That overzealous functionary of SAMMY GLICKMAN's gotten Congress to "reconsider" JACK'S ALPHABET SOUP -- which with luck means THROWING IT OUT and starting from A NEW RECIPE.
Somebody conducted a survey in England, AND:
Most Britons see America as a cruel, vulgar, arrogant society, riven by class and racism, crime-ridden, obsessed with money and led by an incompetent hypocrite.
When did the Empire wave bye-bye?
Well, maybe America isn't THAT bad -- sort of.
Most Britons see America as a cruel, vulgar, arrogant society, riven by class and racism, crime-ridden, obsessed with money and led by an incompetent hypocrite.
When did the Empire wave bye-bye?
Well, maybe America isn't THAT bad -- sort of.
OH oh, THE NEW AMBASSADOR is about to let MARKETERS and FOCUS GROUPS EDIT HIS PAPER!
Which is worse, pandering -- or superiors staring down at you and telling you THE TRUTH?
Which is worse, pandering -- or superiors staring down at you and telling you THE TRUTH?
The press thinks it has TARZANA on the ropes because she -- PLAGIARIZED!!!!!
If we're going to turn PLAGIOMATIC (or whatever it's called) on NEWS HACKS half of them would flunk the test. Moreover there's a certain peculiar news hack cowardice in trying to get ANN for her politics without going after her politics.
That said, NEWS HACK PERSECUTION does NOT make the STINKWEED SMELL ANY SWEETER.
If we're going to turn PLAGIOMATIC (or whatever it's called) on NEWS HACKS half of them would flunk the test. Moreover there's a certain peculiar news hack cowardice in trying to get ANN for her politics without going after her politics.
That said, NEWS HACK PERSECUTION does NOT make the STINKWEED SMELL ANY SWEETER.
We are sorry to see Jan Murray, the comedian and game-show fixture whom we spent too much of our youth with, has died, and still we do not get any younger.
Apparently TownHall.com is the latest site to refashion itself because its designers love CLEARTYPE -- and it's put itself off limits until JULY 5!
THANKS, guys!
P. S. Even Bugmeister Bill admits ClearType works well ONLY on digital monitors. How many people outside graphic-arts firms have digital monitors?
THANKS, guys!
P. S. Even Bugmeister Bill admits ClearType works well ONLY on digital monitors. How many people outside graphic-arts firms have digital monitors?
Why US ties with Mexico are tepid
First off half our neighbor's population wants to start a colony here. Add a boisterous illicit drug trade and jobs for three cents an hour in multinationals' border factories and voila! Great relations.
First off half our neighbor's population wants to start a colony here. Add a boisterous illicit drug trade and jobs for three cents an hour in multinationals' border factories and voila! Great relations.
Well, I am IMPRESSED! Zillionaire CEOs and some small staffs are establishing fiefdoms in Noo Yawk and calling them "headquarters." This does not begin to atone for the destruction corporate America did to big cities by screaming "NI---RS!!!!!" and ZOOMING out of downtowns. Besides, more than a few of these new swingers seem to be taking HQ out of other cities. As with anything CEO, there's something suspicious about all this, as witness the several CEOs who yelled "NO COMMENT." No, Noo Yawk may be nothing more than the country club of the 2000s.
Once a Ken Lay, ALWAYS a Ken Lay.
Once a Ken Lay, ALWAYS a Ken Lay.
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Jo-NAH, you should know: a "cheap shot" is best answered by ANOTHER cheap shot, which is why we don't respect ANYONE in the Beltway.
We wonder if one big thing behind the needless redesign of so many popular Web sites is that the redesigners use CLEARTYPE.
Most of us DON'T, guys. Remember that before you screw up our favorites.
Most of us DON'T, guys. Remember that before you screw up our favorites.
THE LEVERAGED BUYOUT IS BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!
Okay, how many firms and jobs can we destroy THIS time, Hank?
I think Hank was precisely whom the Roosevelts had in mind when they spoke of "malefactors of great wealth."
Okay, how many firms and jobs can we destroy THIS time, Hank?
I think Hank was precisely whom the Roosevelts had in mind when they spoke of "malefactors of great wealth."
Please, pretty please, let that reactionary not be in control! Please, pretty please, let's not go back to the days of coat hangers and separate fountains! Please, pretty please, let JOHN ROBERTS NOT BE IN CONTROL!
Thus emitteth THE GREENHOUSE EFFECT.
OR, THANK GOD FOR MODERATE CONSERVATIVES!!!!!
(Er, Chucky, you once edited -- what magazine? that employed WHOM?)
Thus emitteth THE GREENHOUSE EFFECT.
OR, THANK GOD FOR MODERATE CONSERVATIVES!!!!!
(Er, Chucky, you once edited -- what magazine? that employed WHOM?)
WHY WE CANNOT TRUST NEWS HACKS: Here Mr. Mark goes and puts THE GREATEST FILM OF THE DECADE on his cover, so what does his chief cinematic sales pitcher and ad-blurbist do? He calls it "an overproduced movie that tries so strenuously hard to be 'fun' that it's a chore to sit through." (Thankfully he does it during our print vacation, which makes it even more seemly.) Honest Mr. Mark (you honest?), if you knew this was going to be another piece of celluloid junk (and we suspect you did -- rather, we KNOW you did), why did you slug half your rag "ADVERTISEMENT"? You may think there's no connection between your risible typing and, say, USAOKAY!!!!!'s P-Ulitzer-winning nose thumbing, but there is: both start on questionable self-serving assumptions, and both get flung back in your expensive faces.