Posted 9:19 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



Someone painted over the ricky-ticky-stickies!

Posted 1:21 PM by Gene

We must mention that ESPNCORP Network News has outsourced a considerable amount of its news hole to some gossip site for a glorified link aggregation about one of Hef's airheads. This biz is ever more like Rasputin -- it must die, but it manages to live.

Posted 1:19 PM by Gene

We can safely say we've heard the last of oil for terrorism, and no one will be punished any further.

Posted 1:18 PM by Gene

The same CURLEY's ASSPress that could not stop patting itself on the back for printing the photo of that mortally wounded soldier somehow cannot be bothered to find Wacko's final resting place.

Why can't the ASSPress suffer like the rest of the "news" biz?

Posted 2:00 PM by Gene

Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh, the ASSPress always knows best.

Now does CURLEY (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) get to self-servingly campaign for a photo P-Ulitzer?

(Via Yahoo! News, which seems to be outsourcing more of its)

Posted 1:51 PM by Gene

WOW!!!!! John "Banehead" Boehner DEMANDS that everybody's favorite Ways 'n' Means sleaze CHOLLY RESIGN!!!!!

He's quaking in his Guccis.

Posted 10:39 AM by Gene

When does a U look like a W? When the market whizzes posit a double-dip "recession".

(Via Seeking Alpha)

Posted 10:33 AM by Gene

Congressman Respected X. Marine has built a money-burning fraud in his honor -- but because the evidence is in THE WALL STREET JOURNALS CONSERVATIVE EDITION it DOESN'T EXIST.

(Via Spectator.org, QED)

Posted 10:14 AM by Gene

We Need A Party Of Fiscal Responsibility

And who would that be?

Posted 10:10 AM by Gene

How apt: The professional college football season begins with a "cheap shot".

If we know the "sport" they'll just get more expensive.

Posted 10:02 AM by Gene

You're Mr. "Can't-Anyone-Here-Edit-This-Rag" Stengel. You must decide what to put on your domestic cover -- a reminder of all those Einsteins who created our depr -- ECONOMY, or Jut-Jaw.



That's easy!

Posted 9:49 AM by Gene

BP's obsession with Libya suggests some companies have simply cornered the market in sleaze.

Posted 9:44 AM by Gene

SUPERADAM!!!!! thinks he's found another Kurt with a gush about how MASS CRAP CULTURE still rules all, but this comment says otherwise:

It sounds as if the writer is proud of this. Why should the lazy and vapid and talentless be celebrated?

That means YOU, Kurt.

Posted 9:40 AM by Gene

And in further delusions in Tee-Vee Land, listed back-to-back on the ASSPress's site:

Spanish TV secures Olympic rights for $100M

Fox adds on-air tweets to `Fringe' reruns

Posted 9:22 AM by Gene

Con-SER-va-tives have redefined the phrase "born yesterday": they have suddenly discovered MB2 is something of a jerk.

Posted 9:15 AM by Gene

Spain rallies with 18.5% jobless

Oh no, this is just an -- ECONOMY.

Let me guess: We "rally" too today with 9.7 percent jobless.

Posted 9:06 AM by Gene

And still elsewhere today in AHTSJournal, we don't know which is worse -- Glenn Beck or the footstompers who yell back in him in the moral equivalent of ALL CAPS. Let's just say they should both go to where they already halfway are.

Posted 9:02 AM by Gene

And elsewhere from the always-reliable AHTSJournal, we see Hanoi Jane has become a vigorous protester of -- a certain APARTHEID state. It is superfluous to tell such people to go to hell; by some lights they're already there.

Posted 8:59 AM by Gene

An AHchitectyure cri-TIC blasts that old fogie Prince Charlie for commencing -- a BLACKLIST -- of STARCHITECTS!!!!!

One hates to paraphrase Will Rogers for the zillionth time but cri-TICS have never met a wuhk of AHT they didn't like. If BLACKLISTING means stopping projects like The Leak at MIT, which is as ugly as it is defective, so be it. Of course there's no blacklist -- but this is another outlet of a company that went broke because a certain PRIVATE thought people had an infinite appetite for guano like this.

Posted 6:29 PM by Gene

And our jerry-built system of news is so inefficient that we can only learn of worthy pieces second- or third-hand. Thus one of EM's typists alerted us to this true blossom of scholarship from Prof. Krugman, a man not often known for humility or sense. We know nothing of economics but this article says in so many words the whizzes of numbers failed because they were too prone to rigid ideology of one kind or another, and their ideology doomed us to what people refuse to call a depression, and it is likely even now they're thoroughly incompetent in solving the problem -- and this, in the end, must be as good an explanation as any.

Posted 6:26 PM by Gene

With certain topics NEWS HACKS and their allies will never be wrong. Thus with global warming, a topic one can't conceive without politics, and that, like politics at its worst, wipes humility off the agenda. Now The Paper of Re-CORD must insist that global warming will prevent "a new Ice Age." Where were these prophets of doom several years ago?

Posted 5:36 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



This will be the Chinese pavilion at that Shanghai expo. It is fraught with unintended symbolism. Consider how the Chinese government rules. Then look at this structure. Consider further that China frequently has earthquakes. NUF SAID.

AND:



This would be a better building for Iceland than that KFC.

Posted 11:04 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: The late Useless News is playing mind games with younuhversehtees, and the younuhversehtees are playing mind games back, and the late rag's rankings are as useless as ever, and only the prospective clients get the shaft.

Posted 9:37 AM by Gene

It’s hard to argue with the ratings success that “Nightline” has finally achieved, but people hungry for news might be better served by watching Dave’s or Conan’s monologue.

LORD KOPPEL! Look what UB's done to your DUCHY!

Posted 8:47 AM by Gene

WELL, we survived August, which is good news. It was not a month that will be recorded in the Enlightened Discourse Hall of Fame. In fact, it was a NATIONAL EMBARRASSMENT — not just the steady stream of misinformation about the nature of President Obama's health-care proposals, but the RACISM — both overt and opaque — the DEATH THREATS, the IMPRECATIONS (calling someone a Nazi is evidence of the evil of banality), THE IDIOTS BEARING ASSAULT RIFLES AT PRESIDENTIAL EVENTS!!!!! [Overt overemphasis added]

Oh Mr. Bew-KES! Pinch! I've got something you could charge for! Have a contest between Anonymous and Frank Rich to see who can turn his face beet-red faster!

Posted 8:26 AM by Gene

Speaking of worshipful, how many times will news hacks ascribe miracles to His Omnipotence?

And what does a news hack do when he needs to pray for a miracle? What book does he get out for spiritual sustenance? All the President's Men?

Posted 8:16 AM by Gene

Hey EDDIE! Gambl -- GAMING was supposed to bring in MEGAZILLIONS! Debt? What debt? The suck -- patrons pay the debt! We're all going to be RICH!!!!!

Pffffffffffffffft!

Posted 8:13 AM by Gene

Teddy is telling more about THE ACCIDENT dead than worshipful NEWS HACKS told BARELY ALIVE.

Posted 6:08 PM by Gene

A man whom ARIANNA and many others credulously told their readers was standing with a sign on a street corner as penance for cheating on his wife -- a radio-station publicity stunt; the "heartwarming story" of a rapper from the projects who got Warner Music to pay for her Ph.D in psychology -- whole cloth....

If NEWS HACKS spent as much time running the truth as they do running LIES....

And KAPLAN, INC. was behind both exposures! Which can mean only one thing...more MACACA tomorrow!

(That signholder's story was first rebutted by FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!! of all places. You'd think SLIME would like perpetrating a good hoax!) (Third and fourth links via the usual Romy)

Posted 5:45 PM by Gene

BEAM ME UP, MR. SPEAKER! That jackass Jim Traficant has finally left the place he was fated for -- prison!



Although he seems to have found a somewhat remorseful new raccoon for the top of his head.

PREDICTION: This clod gets a talk show within six months. But then consider his name: traffic + cant. What's good for Congress is even better on the air.

Posted 5:34 PM by Gene

GANNETT's flagship runs a blog for the mentally -- pardon, for FANS of POP CUL-TYURE, and one entry we must post in pull -- with a picture:

College just started. You're assigned a bland dorm room with wood paneling. You barely have enough money for shampoo, let alone fancy decor. What do you do?

If you're Pop reader Taylor T., you turn to mustaches.

"My roommate and I wanted to spice up our dorm room, and we share a love for mustaches, so when we saw these wall graphics we knew we had to have them!" she says. "We chose to place them on our mirror, but they could really go anywhere. They're cheap ($5 for four) and can be found at www.one-updesigns.com."

Thanks for the tip, Taylor -- and good luck this year. Dorm life is tough, mustaches or not.

And here's the picture:



I wonder...how would THIS guy look with a painted-on mustache?



God I'm tired of posting that mug but HE IS GANNETT!

P. S. No aspersions to Taylor T., it's just that the heirs of THE GUY WITH THE MUSTACHE don't like their readers very much.

Posted 5:26 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



Yep, that's a KFC in Iceland, and the design is apt because it looks like an Arte Moderne igloo, and it's black in honor of the country the Icelanders burned to the ground.

Posted 3:00 PM by Gene

Pfizer Inc., the world's largest drug maker, will pay a record $2.3 billion civil and criminal penalty over unlawful prescription drug promotions....

Authorities called Pfizer a repeat offender, noting it is the fourth such settlement of government charges in the last decade. They said the government will monitor the company's conduct for the next five years to rein in the abuses.

When do con-SER-va-tives scream, SOCIALIZED MEDICINE!!!!!?

Posted 2:31 PM by Gene

His Omnipotence may soon get to replace another of the Nine Fingers -- only it's another liberal finger!

When will he get to replace one of those THEOCRATIC NAZI CHRISTIAN -- never mind.

Posted 1:29 PM by Gene

Let me guess: Noo Yawk's schools are 1. filled with geniuses or 2. their tests are too easy or 3. the teachers are teaching too much to the tests. How about 2. and 3.?

Posted 1:10 PM by Gene

Charlie Gibson (better known as Charles Gibson in his dramatic roles) is retiring, in favor of Diane, who is reputedly just as likable a person as MISS PERKY, and the hacks will not stop jabbering for weeks because TWO WOMEN will be anchorpoops. Let us not forget they both got their jobs in no small matter thanks to personal tragedies -- and SUPERSCRIPTS.



It won't help, though. But hey Brian -- your stunt really DID work! (Sorry to post this but dammit Brian should be remembered as much for that and his fake apologies as Dan Blather is for Kenneth, or the U. S. Open, or his SUPERSCRIPTS.)

P. S. Diane is 63, meaning they're looking for ANOTHER anchor, so don't blabber TOO much, hacks.

(Via the ASSPress)

Posted 11:00 AM by Gene

We are not sure who DJ AM was either than a guy who spun platters and did drugs and was famous for the usual fifteen minutes, but the fact that his memorial service will resemble an AA meeting has a poignant bit of humility to it, suggesting that being a celebrity is not, like being the fool born, a "disease incurable".

P. S. at 1:23 p.m. The TWXSTERS intimate he killed himself and because he split with his girlfriend. Of all the "reasons" to kill yourself this must be the most heart-wrenchingly senseless.

Posted 10:42 AM by Gene

ROMY!

NPR aired 53 Kennedy stories between Aug. 26 and 30

NPR.org
On the first day of reporting Ted Kennedy's death, only one of the 23 on-air stories mentioned the name Mary Jo Kopechne and five mentioned Chappaquiddick, notes ombud Alicia Shepard.

Posted at 10:02 AM on Sep. 2, 2009

Is that all?

Whoops. I didn't mean that.

Posted 10:37 AM by Gene

Look at it this way, Cryonic Mayor -- Rio has nicer beaches anyway. Go get yourself a good tan for your 42nd term.

P. S. at 1:45 p. m. Good news for whoever overpays for those GAMES: Rio's just two hours' worth of time zones away from THE EAST COAST. Well, it should be, being on the east coast.

Posted 10:31 AM by Gene

Speaking of Branson East "Elvis, Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis and Carl Perkins are coming" there -- and so is Angela Lansbury (and "[p]roducer Norman Lear, lyricist Sheldon Harnick and thesps Adrienne Barbeau, Zoe Caldwell, Chita Rivera and Rue McClanahan") for a Bea Arthur tribute!

Who says the theater is dead? It's just resting up.

Posted 10:09 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: We shouldn't panic about Iran building nukes because the time to panic has already passed.

Posted 9:37 AM by Gene

Lockerbie had moved significantly from a pariah state in recent years, the Prime Minister said. [SIC!!!!!]

WwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwWELL! You SHOULD speak better of YOUR OWN!

Posted 9:29 AM by Gene

Perhaps if we worried more about the vast floating garbage dump that is the Pacific than global warming it might do the planet some good.

Posted 9:20 AM by Gene

Oops! Our favorite Branson East columnist Mike says ESPNCORP won't come to Spidey's rescue despite The Deal; the company is "adept at producing expensive duds of its own, such as 'Tarzan' and 'The Little Mermaid.'" Pffh-hh-hh!

So why did you pay the $4 BILLION TOO MUCH, UB IGER?

Posted 9:10 AM by Gene

Grandmother was killed for $2

Let me guess -- NO SNITCHIN'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 8:56 AM by Gene

Speaking of The Daily Kaplan we turned to its Ombudspoop's column (we suspect he'll be speaking of The Macaca -- after Kaplan, Inc.'s candidate has won), and we couldn't help noticing Bob Novak and Ted Kennedy got yipping screeds -- er, comments from mirror-image morons, meaning comments are for the most part worse than worthless, they show what scum we humans can be, and we wouldn't run them even if people paid attention to us.

Posted 8:35 AM by Gene

Great news from KAPLAN, INC.: We can make it in publishing after all!

Kaplan Publishing Supports Law, Medical and Nursing Students with New Book Apps for iPhone(R) and iPod Touch(R)

NEW YORK, Sept. 1 /PRNewswire/ -- Kaplan Publishing announced that by working with LibreDigital and Lexcycle, five titles for law and nursing students are now available at the iTunes(R) store via the award winning Stanza eReader with more titles expected soon. This follows the results of a Kaplan Test Prep survey showing in the next year nearly 45% of Kaplan students will have access to an iPhone(R) or an iPod . [SIC]

The first five titles are:
The Law School Labyrinth: A Guide to Making the Most of Your Legal Education (13.99) [*]
Legal Writing: How to Write Legal Briefs, Memos, and Other Legal Documents in a Clear and Concise Style (16.99) [*]
First Year Nurse: Wisdom, Warnings, and What I Wish I'd Known My First 100 Days on the Job (Second Edition) (4.99) [*]
How to Survive Clinical: Advice from the Nursing Students and Teachers Who Have Been There (8.99) [*]
Your Career in Nursing: Managing Your Future in the Changing World of Health Care (Fifth Edition) (11.99) [*]

Kaplan is always looking to enrich and further their relationship with the students, utilizing content in the format best suited to their evolving needs.

With over 2 million users spanning 60 countries, Lexcycle's Stanza is one of the leading eBook readers for the Apple iPhone and iPod Touch. Stanza's award-winning reading experience, which features customizable formatting and searching has led to more than 12 million book downloads.

Book Descriptions:
Law School Labyrinth: A comprehensive guide to law school, from the admissions process to beyond graduation.

Legal Writing: A guide to legal writing for the legal practitioner covering clear, concise writing with an eye towards the tools of the information age.

First Year Nurse: Wisdom and warnings from hundreds of experienced nurses.

How to Survive Clinical: A pocket-sized guide featuring quotes, anecdotes, and advice from both recently graduated nursing students and current professors that will help new students face the academic and emotional challenges

Your Career in Nursing: Up-to-date information on trends in nursing practice, nursing education, and health care technology.

About Kaplan Publishing
Kaplan Publishing, a leading publisher of academic and professional development resources includes a trade program that includes non-fiction narratives that educate and entertain. Kaplan Publishing is a unit of Kaplan, Inc., a subsidiary of Kaplan, Inc. (NYSE: WPO).

Contact: Tim Brazier
Publicity Director
212.618.2432
Tim.Brazier@kaplan.com

SOURCE Kaplan Publishing

Tim Brazier, Publicity Director, Kaplan Publishing, +1-212-618-2432,
Tim.Brazier@kaplan.com

[Slightly amended in sixteenth graf]

We mention this because our friends at The Daily Kaplan are doing the MACACA again. Really boys, you've already made your media ops worthless.

*Dollars or ST. WARREN BUCKS?

Posted 8:19 AM by Gene

Please, please, do it, Dems! Ram it through! Make lots of enemies for a NOBLE CAUSE!

Posted 8:13 AM by Gene

BP Makes ‘Giant’ Oil Discovery in Gulf of Mexico

Is it as big as all the oil you've discovered in LIBYA?

Posted 5:40 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



A spaceship? A boat for Mars? An airplane? Or just MORE BAD STARCHITECTURE?

Posted 3:24 PM by Gene

James I, whose name will ever be linked to the Bible, was a patron of Shakespeare and Jonson. All these tiresomely latest translators have is SLIME -- and an English increasingly reminiscent of Pidgin.

Posted 2:07 PM by Gene

Hmmm....

I would have imagined that the press might have been able to win public support for its operations based on the "public interest" role it plays.

One wonders if the effort to spice up copy to compete with online sites by focusing more on horse-race journalism, entertainment news, and tabloid stories, at the expense of quote-unquote serious journalism—investigative reporting and the like—compromised the news business' ability to argue for such support.

(Via Seeking Alpha)

Posted 1:49 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: The idea of AN HEREDITARY SEAT is increasingly unlikely.

Posted 1:31 PM by Gene

See FRANKLIN, because you force us to scroll and scroll and scroll through BIG BIG FONTS we have a tough time finding and reading posts like Simon Johnson's likening Big Finance to junk food.

If Big Finance is junk food what does that make BERNIE -- or The Big C?

Posted 12:22 PM by Gene

SHUCKS! The last we saw that DEMOCRAT PARTY figure in Illinois was up to something like 3.9 BILLION responses to that request to CHANGE AMERICA! But one of His Omnipotence's interns must have been told about NRO -- they have to tell them about these things as they don't voluntarily search the Web for them -- and now this HISTORIC CALL-TO-ACTION "EVENT" has been DELETED from His O's Web site.



All those people looking for CHANGE will be MAD!

Posted 12:15 PM by Gene

Is everyone in the British "government" looking for a job at BP?

Posted 12:10 PM by Gene

Why Social Media Isn't Living Up to the Hype (Yet)
Why Not? Companies Aren't Social by Design

I'd say they're more like anti-social by design.

Posted 12:06 PM by Gene

Former Homeland Security secretary Tom Ridge, speaking for the first time about accusations made in his new book, says he did not mean to suggest that other top Bush administration officials were playing politics with the nation's security before the 2004 presidential election.

TRANSLATION: Er, I guess I couldn't get that in with the in crowd.

Posted 9:42 AM by Gene

And if this makes you feel better, PRIME MINISTERS INCOMPETENT:

Libya: Lockerbie bomber's health quickly worsening

Posted 9:35 AM by Gene

In other ways that Islamists can walk over the formerly great Britain:

Libya is set to flaunt the Lockerbie bomber’s release at the climax of today’s celebrations marking Colonel Muammar Gaddafi's 40 years in power....

Britain is expected to send only a junior representative to today’s ceremonies.

They're sending the QUEEN?!?

Posted 9:32 AM by Gene

Britain leads the world in under-age drinking

Cheers! PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!

Posted 8:47 AM by Gene

Any outfit that needs over fifty "change agents" has too much to change.

(Via Seeking Alpha)

Posted 5:23 PM by Gene

See because FRANKLIN made his site so hard to navigate and read we had to learn from TINA that Brooksy has turned definitively into DAVID GURGLE JR.

As if we didn't know.

Posted 5:16 PM by Gene

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette is selling bloggers for $36 a year. In other news news MNI went back below $2 and GCI below $9, meaning penny-stock maniacs and short squeezes can only do the press so much good.

(First link via the usual Romy)

Posted 5:02 PM by Gene

Jo-NAH is WORRIED because someone with the DEMOCRAT PARTY in Illinois is trying to steal the official con-SER-va-tives' holiday (9/11) from them -- and make it politically tone-deaf in the exact opposite way. Not to worry though, JO:

2147485501 people have signed up to attend this event.

Whatever THAT means.

Posted 4:52 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



Here's a house built from Legos. Considering how much Legos cost the owner can never sell it at a profit.

Unless the TWXSTERS feature it in their LEGO MOVIE.

Posted 10:04 AM by Gene

Why the Stock Market Looks Bullish for Autumn

Perfect timing!

Posted 9:58 AM by Gene

Wal-Mart's favorite supplier has lost $800 BILLION on Treasurys? OUCH!

Something tells me alas this depr -- ECONOMY has a ways to go yet.

(Via Seeking Alpha)

Posted 9:25 AM by Gene

If SUPERADAM!!!!!!!!!! is correct expanding the Os-CAR® field with MORE AHT-house flicks may not help the ratings after all. GOOD!

Posted 9:21 AM by Gene

Now -- for ESPNCORP to become PEOPLE WARNER what it should REALLY do now is BUY PEOPLE INC.

Posted 5:50 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



You know, you didn't have to put the fence that high up.

Posted 5:20 PM by Gene

If we endured a garden-variety recession we would not hear of "lifestyle" changes. The Depression That Dare Not Speak Its Name will not be overcome by sloganeering. The worthless useless mindless spending that brought it on suggest the virtue of modesty by comparison. But how long can we volunteer for depression?

Posted 5:15 PM by Gene

This is a trap. Either kids get bored reading "masterworks" or they read junk. Both ways they may see reading as less than a pleasure. While perhaps some put too much stock in not boring people a great many masterworks are dull. But no amount of cheerleading can elevate junk, though some may try. In any case reading is once again being put to the service of churning out Dilberts, the last thing we need. The resigned sound of “We just need to preserve book habits among the kids as much as we possibly can” speaks volumes.

Posted 3:50 PM by Gene

Either 1. ST. WARREN should get new software for THE SLATEST or 2. Put the whole blasted contraption out of business.

Posted 12:53 PM by Gene

Someone should remind Marc Ambinder that time can cut both ways. When he died Warren Harding was a revered leader. We would not guess how time will unheal Teddy, but there is no one to guard the facts anymore.

Posted 12:53 PM by Gene

The recorded...SOUND biz can sell it in supermarkets, dentist's offices and whorehouses, but no one will buy it when it still costs too much.