Posted 5:58 PM by Gene

I suppose these kinds of heroes are zeroes to the NEWS HACK who has come to view movie stars as the seat of wisdom and Democrats as the source of holy redemption, but they joined the service because of the indelible obscenity visited on us, and they died in the fight against terrorism. They're heroes in my book, and that they may never be in the NEWS HACK'S should be a further source of pride.

Posted 4:11 PM by Gene

I don't care what the ad-blurb copywriters say, rap is audio graffiti.

Posted 4:04 PM by Gene

"Experts" concede we don't need the INFOMERCIALS, but we'll still have them so long as RENDELLS boast of all the maids and janitors and bellhops and waiters these bellowing nuisances supposedly add to a city's payrolls.

Posted 2:05 PM by Gene

If the Arab world wants to do more than cry crocodile tears at terrorist acts, the first thing it should do is set up a trust fund, with the Saudis in the lead, for the victims of ITS peoples' attacks.

Posted 1:41 PM by Gene

A flashlight explodes in an x-ray machine and the whole LA airport shuts down.

Shall we add flashlights to the verboten list?

Posted 1:38 PM by Gene

I got a solution, Tzar: bring back the Soviet Union!

Posted 1:13 PM by Gene

Now Der Homeland reports "that an explosive detection system machine got a positive reading from a corroded battery in a flashlight."

It doesn't pay to follow Free Republic all the time.

Posted 1:07 PM by Gene

WHORVIS COMMUNICATIONS is working overime.

Posted 1:05 PM by Gene

Looks like I'm back to two hits a day again. That didn't last. Well, at least I don't have too big an ego.

Posted 9:57 AM by Gene

Duh, I think I'll take my season out on this here wall, duuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh....

Wanna bet the Yankees still win?

Posted 8:34 AM by Gene

CARL LIMBURGER AND THE NEWSMAX.COM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STAFF COPY AND PASTE THE NEWS AGAIN!

Posted 8:33 AM by Gene

Is it me, or does Tzar Vladimir look as though he's going, "Huh?"

Posted 8:29 AM by Gene

Well see, I am a man of the people -- I just found that out when I ran for president -- so you must understand when I threw that Wendy's meal away for the packaged goodies from a country club I was acting from my -- base -- lawyerly -- upper-class -- INSTINCTS.

Heck, after I retire from the vice-presidency (or lose, whichever comes first) it's back to lawyerin'! So I can serve more of THE PEOPLE.

Posted 8:25 AM by Gene

Carol Bellamy, executive director of the U.N. Children's Fund, known as UNICEF, called the violence "unacceptable ... incomprehensible" and "senseless."

She said it was "part of a rising tide of violence aimed at children."

"This is yet again another instance in which adults are trying to carry out their views to children. [Like SPANKING??????????] It's totally unacceptable."

U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan said he was "horrified" at the deaths of so many children and others.

I guess this means we gotta crack down on JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS.

One of the worst terrorist -- I mean, GUERILLA attacks ever and already AMERICA'S NEWS HACKS HAVE FORGOTTEN IT. They're using equations to figure out how to report this: 1 American = 10 Russians, or whatever.

Carol wins our MARY ROBINSON MORAL OBTUSENESS AWARD!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 6:28 PM by Gene

I MUST end on a lighter note:



And bring back Wayne while you're at it.

Posted 6:25 PM by Gene

"The hostage takers were Ingush, Ossetians, Russians, but not Chechens," said [Ahmad] Zakayev, once a spokesman for Chechnya's separatist president Aslan Maskhadov.

"But of course, their demands have all to do with Chechnya, so whatever has happened, the Chechens will be held responsible. That's what I'm afraid of," he said on Britain's Channel 4 television.

What's wrong, guy? Not looking forward to your seventy-two virgins?

At THE OSAMA CHANNEL they're showing gruesome video non-stop (no doubt) while dancing on the ceiling.

Posted 6:01 PM by Gene

CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES MAY BE UP TO NO GOOD: Compare THIS story and THIS story -- and especially consider THIS loaded line:

Bush's audience of thousands in West Allis, Wis., booed. Bush did nothing to stop them.

If it's true, I say BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
But if (as seems likely) CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES were CAMPAIGNING, I say

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

I repeat: This extreme irritant of an election will feature the most partisan hack -- THE MOST NOBLE PUBLIC SERVICE IN NEWS HISTORY.

And gee, it's a good thing you took today off, ROMY -- not that you'd have paid attention.

Posted 5:58 PM by Gene

Kerry Vows to Be President Who Tells the Truth

PFFH-HH-HH!!!!!

Posted 5:53 PM by Gene

Poll: Bush Leads by 11 Points During RNC

All together now NEWS HACKS, one, two, three: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 5:20 PM by Gene

CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES yell, PAYBACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This extreme irritant of an election will feature the most partisan hack -- THE MOST NOBLE PUBLIC SERVICE IN NEWS HISTORY.

Posted 5:15 PM by Gene

Further proof our hearts are always in the right place:

Fleeing Hurricane Frances isn't an option for thousands of Florida residents living in poverty

Posted 5:09 PM by Gene

Medicare premiums to rise 17 percent

And think when the MEDS kick in! WE'RE IN THE MONEY!!!!!

Posted 5:00 PM by Gene

There will be much second guessing of the Russians' ham-fisted rescue mission, but in at least one particular (and more) it resembles Waco: the holy cockroaches would probably have blown everyone up anyway, for to die killing innocents is extremely holy.

Posted 4:55 PM by Gene

In these, its last days in BILL'S BUGGY EMPIRE, is Kinsley.com using computers to write columns? Feed a Republican speech into these devices and they spew they're-always-wrong-on-everything vitriol. At least NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is underwritten and badly edited by humans; but the idea of computers as partisan hacks is a scary one, scarier than BILL seeking control of 26 universes.

Posted 1:37 PM by Gene

Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooogle
Blooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooogger's
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup
toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiits
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooold
triiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiicks
againnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!

Posted 1:33 PM by Gene

Whatever one thinks of Bill Clinton, it is difficult to imagine him sick.

Posted 1:26 PM by Gene

Russia school siege: Nine Arab attackers killed

Um, I don't think I'd boast about it if I were you.

Posted 1:19 PM by Gene

OMERTA admits there were PROTESTORS ON THE OTHER SIDE?!?!?

Heaven forfend!!!!!

Posted 9:54 AM by Gene

Researchers: ET should write, not call

This assumes the ETs would want to write to us.

Posted 9:08 AM by Gene

STERNO fumes about the "STRANGE CRAP" from "FRINGE OPINION SITES" G000,000,000,000,000gleNews foists on unwary surfers; but STERN, you're always talking about printing presses and democracy, and how BLOGGING IS THE GREATEST THING SINCE YOU WERE BORN. So if G000,000,000,000,000gleNews gives occasional exposure to STRANGE CRAP from FRINGE OPINION SITES isn't that a small price to pay for PRINTING PRESSES? Why should the world ALWAYS be ruled by your friends the TWXSTERS and your boss HIS HOLINESS KING SI? Or is your real purpose to help get your friend NICK DORKEN on the road to his IPO?

Posted 8:50 AM by Gene

2 murderers escape at Burger King

If it had been MICKEY D's they'd still be on the loose.

Posted 8:28 AM by Gene

Looks like SAMMY GLICKMAN'S NEW, IMPROVED ALPHABET SOUP will be worse than the old, if the assorted quoted ninnies have their say.

Great reportorial enterprise, there, QUACK PSUEDO-RELIGIOUS SCIENCE MONITOR: an e-mail and a phone call! You folks in THAT much of a bind?

Posted 8:20 AM by Gene

Despite strikes and Kobes and ATTITUDE, the American Society of Willfully Ignorant Advertisers continues to waste OUR money making BILLION-DOLLAR FRANCHISES, even if it angers fans in the process. What's upsetting a few customers when YOU have the LUXURY SUITE?

Nice MEA CULPA there, TRIB!

Posted 8:18 AM by Gene

SEN. McPAIN (D-AZ) remembers who came to HIS birthday party!

Posted 8:09 AM by Gene

"ALL HAT, NO CATTLE!!!!!"

Shouldn't that be all hat, no filet mignon? (I couldn't think of the name of a fancy French woman's hat.)

Posted 6:44 AM by Gene

Bush's acceptance speech at Madison Square Garden was seen by fellow Republicans as vital to his reelection hopes, a fact reflected by the 30-plus revisions the address underwent.

WOW! All that work so people could scratch their heads and ask, "What did he say?"

Posted 6:44 AM by Gene

Fighting is to the NHL what crashes are to NASCAR.

One good thing: we probably won't have any fights THIS season.

Posted 6:30 AM by Gene

I beg to differ: DIPPITY-DO!!!!! does NOT seem the type to give "generous tips."

Posted 6:25 AM by Gene

Waaaaaaaaah! Dey won't wet me do da DEBATE! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!

Posted 6:22 AM by Gene

The loonies didn't riot. Is that a success or a failure?

I count it as a success -- PINCH's word got around.

That or the loonies decided they had nothing to riot about.

Posted 6:20 AM by Gene

Looks like the Russians are pulling another Moscow theater stunt, but you will have this when something happens that certain religious and political leaders can be happily silent about.

Posted 6:17 AM by Gene

Jennifer C. --Don't you think that there is something uniquely immature about a "Shout-out?"

We've gotten to the SCREAM-OUT phase by now.

Posted 6:15 PM by Gene

What gives? I've only gotten seven hits today. Did someone turn off the switch again? Is anybody out there?

Posted 5:12 PM by Gene

The "experts" GUESSTIMATED OSAMA was worth KAZILLIONS. Now they're GUESSTIMATING he's worth NEXT TO NOTHING (at least by Saudi standards), meaning they still don't know their rears from the hole in Ground Zero.

Posted 5:08 PM by Gene

EXCELLENT PROMO WORK FROM THE GE BANCORP NETWORK:

Since 1999, NBC has debuted 16 sitcoms in the fall. The "Father of the Pride" debut finishes in the bottom five of that list....But here's some good news for NBC. In that list of 16, "Father of the Pride" is No. 2 among kids ages 2 to 11.

I guess that means we're cultivating future Olympics viewers. RIGHT, LITTLE JEFFREY?

Posted 5:04 PM by Gene

CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES WANT A GENERAL TO RESIGN BECAUSE HE SAID THINGS THAT OFFENDED CONGRESSMAN BARNEY!

By that standard, CURLEY, I think we could ask your WHOLE STAFF to resign for doing things that offend US.

Posted 5:00 PM by Gene

Delegates who really, really, really hate Kerry.

TRANSLATION: NEWS HACKS who really, really, really hate Dubya.

I say it evens out.

Posted 10:45 AM by Gene

I think we can forget about that "higher-purpose" jazz, stupid college presidents. You're all about job training, self-gratification and MAKING MONEY.

Posted 10:40 AM by Gene

More news from the Second INFOMERCIAL: Two blowhards go to hell.

Posted 9:31 AM by Gene

SPAM "CONVERGES"!

What hath gods wrought?

Posted 8:47 AM by Gene

Finally, someone other than yours truly knocks Jeff Greenfield.

I have long thought this twerp is the HANS VON KALTENBORN of our time. Remember Hans? You don't? You should, for one reason: on Election Night 1948 Kaltenborn flatly trumpeted how the CI-teeh VOOTE and the COUN-treeh VOOTE would win the election for Tom Dewey. At a press conference before his inauguration Harry Truman made nasty fun of Kaltenborn's reporting and his oracular speaking style. Today it's all he's remembered for. Jeff doesn't even have the advantage of being wrong.

Posted 8:15 AM by Gene

KERRY FOR PRESIDENT (Washington Edition) says DIP'S COMING BACK! He's "SHARPENING THE CONTRAST"!!!!!

What is this guy? A TV?

Posted 6:29 AM by Gene

My guess (having not watched it) is Vice-President Inside did NOT deliver a BRILLIANT SPEECH last night. He works for Halliburton.

If the HACKS say DUBYA delivers a BRILLIANT SPEECH tonight we will know DEFINITIVELY they're BONKERS.

Posted 6:24 AM by Gene

Inevitably the Kobe case got tried in public with leaks and press releases, and once it got tried in public, Justice lost.

Posted 6:20 AM by Gene

CBS.Marketwatch.com -- you know, the financial Web site the Wall Street Journals Online used to make fun of in their ads -- ran a puff piece about some guy who all but dreams of an IPO from blogging. I checked into his sites. DULL. They all look alike; one or two haven't been updated in months. And he has no counters; where does he get his 100,000 number? This guy and Nick Dorken are the DONALDS of Blogging.

Posted 7:37 PM by Gene

SYNERGY: BILL'S BUGMEISTERS get around a NEWS EMBARGO to announce they'll do to VIDEO what BOOM BOXES did to SOUND.

Oiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!

Posted 7:28 PM by Gene

The first news of the Second INFOMERCIAL: the former Sen. Kerrey uses the F-WORD!!!!!

It does seem contagious with THE DIP and his friends.

Posted 5:06 PM by Gene

Another BRILLIANT SPEECH -- and GIVE 'EM ZELL HASN'T EVEN "DELIVERED" IT YET!

Posted 5:04 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: We want the hacks with us the remaining TWO PERCENT OF THE TIME!!!!!

(Posted on the ROMY, who obviously AGREES, as will his cheering section in the LETTERS PAGE.)

Posted 4:56 PM by Gene

The Bushettes apparently made ASSES of themselves last night (I didn't see it). One pair of arms is like another, sang Aldonza to Don Quixote, and alas, so are two pair of arms at the INFOMERCIALS.

Posted 4:54 PM by Gene

Bill, cut the Kinsley.comedy; you're not a Republican, and you wouldn't vote for one if he were a LIBERAL DEMOCRAT.

P. S. He calls AH-nult's speech BRILLIANT too, so maybe there's -- "hope"?

Posted 4:43 PM by Gene

During the last INFOMERCIAL everyone made a BRILLIANT speech. This time around the speeches aren't getting quite the accolades -- REPUBLICANS are EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL -- but the conservatives are proving as adept at inane partisanship as any six- and seven-digit news hack; if Barack made a BRILLIANT SPEECH why, so did AH-nult -- because he's a REPUBLICAN. The cheerleaders further confuse sentiment for BRILLIANCE, as with Rudy, who definitely must seek higher office again, but who'd be no Lincoln minus ghostwriters. And count on VIR-GIN-IA to create an instant cliche (who says bloggers aren't good at cliches?), picked up by STERNO the way a dog fetches its master's slippers, that Rudy was BRILLIANT because he was "CONVERSATIONAL." That reminds me all too painfully of the Gettysburg Address in PowerPoint. A speech can have zero eloquence, indeed it can display total flatfooted incompetence, and the hacks will call it BRILLIANT if it does the barest minimum of what a good speech does; but once good speechmaking enriched and enlivened our public discourse. Now it's CONVERSATIONS, from people who aren't very good CONVERSATIONALISTS, let alone SPEECHMAKERS.

Speechmaking's gotten so bad we've forgotten what the word STEMWINDER means.

Posted 1:51 PM by Gene

Why CAN'T people wear nice clothes again?

Posted 1:37 PM by Gene

ALERT: BUILDING OF PEOPLE SICKENED IN D.C.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JUST BREAKING...IN A GOVT.BUILDING IN D.C. MASS CASULTIES....EVERYONE IS VERY SICK...BREAKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pepper spray.

THANKS FOR ANOTHER ATTEMPT TO INSPIRE A PANIC, FREE REPUBLIC!!!!!

(Update at 5:15 PM EDT: Five got eye irritations, and one was hospitalized, after an accident. ALMOST AS BRILLIANT AS THOSE SPEECHES AT THE INFOMERCIAL, FREEPERS!)

Posted 1:12 PM by Gene

Posted 11:56 AM by Gene

World's Caviar Faces a Ban

Whatsoever shall our superiors do? Zillionaire media snobs can't hold birthday parties for the likes of Sen. McPAIN without CAVIAR. Pee-TAH can't READ THE NEWS without CAVIAR. PINCH can't run the UNIVERSES' GREATEST PAPER without CAVIAR. Hollywood can't make BAD MOVIES without CAVIAR. DIPPITY-DO!! may have to resign after taking the oath of office!

All for salty FISH EGGS. Hhmph!

Posted 11:47 AM by Gene

I've a hunch the government may exchange clemency for the Jug-Eared Defector's info -- provided there's anything to get out between those ears.

Posted 11:13 AM by Gene

What show-biz has come to:

Charlize Theron Injured Remaking Cartoon

Don't they have animators?

Posted 6:54 AM by Gene

Somehow it's hard to conceive such a brilliant revue starring E. L. "Heal Thyself" Doctorow as being "toothless," but we certainly can conceive America's Novelist Laureate as being less quite a few things other than teeth.

Posted 6:30 AM by Gene

I zzank zee Rrrepublican PAH-tee for allouwwing mee to fulfeel zee Ammerican drream of making a forrtune doingk bat moovies!

THIS IS COMPASSZIONNNATE COHN-ZERRR-VATEEZM!

Posted 6:29 AM by Gene

Another little picnic certain "religious and political leaders" can be happily silent about.

Posted 6:26 AM by Gene

"It is difficult to imagine a more flagrant abdication of duty than a director rubber-stamping transactions that directly benefit a controlling shareholder without any thought, comprehension or analysis."

Wait a second! I thought con-SER-va-tives were all for FREE ENTERPRISE! I guess it depends on who's free with the enterprise.

Posted 8:22 PM by Gene

Why do people want to make sitcoms about people who ARE sitcoms?

Posted 7:58 PM by Gene

The problem, TINA, is that with news hacks we see the world through dark red-tinted sunglasses with bulbous lenses covered with gauze -- and with blinders on. I suspect the real reason you're ticked, TINA, is is that there might be fewer chances for superglib, terminally trendy folk like you to have any staying power because a bunch of AMATEURS can tear your pretensions to shreds. If there IS one hope, though, it's that you helped bequeath us GRAYDON, a man whose excellence seems destined to last FOREVER.

Posted 6:14 PM by Gene

CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES ALERT:

BEIRUT, Lebanon - The militant demand that a French ban on Islamic head scarves be overturned has raised an unprecedented backlash among religious and political leaders in the Middle East, who have often been silent about hostage slayings and other terrorism.

Isn't that paragraph a firing offense, CURLEY?

We're in a pretty pickle when we have to analyze EVERY news story for its PC.

Posted 5:57 PM by Gene

I know I promised to saying nothing again about the -- you know, I'm having the foggiest time remembering what it was called, wasn't it about rings, and Hitler, and, oh well -- anyway, buried deep in this story about GE Bancorp Network's recent celebration in Greece (that's what it was!) and the huge monetary hangover following is this little nugget:

In an acknowledgment of Greece's struggle to pay for the Olympics, the International Olympic Committee announced plans to cut the scale of the Olympics in the future. It proposed more than 100 recommendations to combat what it called the "gigantism" of the event, including cutbacks in venues and credentials, and said some of the measures will be implemented by the 2006 Winter Games in Turin.

In other words, there may not need to be as many "sports" as media outlets. But then there's this very good news: GE Bancorp won't permit its subsid to ditch any sports until it puts it up for potential sale in 2012! Such forward thinking, LITTLE JEFFREY!

P. S. Montreal won't finish paying off its debt until 2006, thirty years after "Nadia's Theme." I've got a better song for the GAMES: "Brother, Can You Spare a Dime?"

Posted 5:30 PM by Gene

JEFFREY KATZENBERG BLAMES HIS SHOW ON THE PROMO DEPARTMENT!!!!! It seems the table pounders are the reason BILLIONAIRES FOR BUSH-LEAGUE TV (no offense, Dubya) didn't like his MASTERWORK, rather suprising as 1. Advertisers are supposed to buy blind, and 2. It sounds like something right up the plausible-denial alley. Luckily GE Bancorp Network landed TOYOTA, evidence somebody was willing to sponsor anything. Wouldn't you really rather have a BUICK?

Oh, I forgot. GM SPONSORED THE OSAMA CHANNEL.

Posted 5:27 PM by Gene

Because liberals are temperamentally self-critical, they tend to see more grays than black-and-whites.

TRANSLATION: ST. WARREN pays this scribbler a million bucks to praise himself.

Posted 5:16 PM by Gene

Inconvenient juxtaposition in Kinsley.com:

Being There
What does 9/11 tell us about Bush? Nothing.

...which, when I visited the page, was right below...


WHORVIS COMMUNICATIONS, a demagogue -- or as Don Marquis's eloquent cockroach archy wrote, "MILLIONAIRES AND BUMS TASTE ABOUT ALIKE TO ME."

Posted 5:13 PM by Gene

Which reminds me: despite stories like this many bloggers are smiling that the days of BIG MEDIA ruling us with the stainless-steel fist in a titanium glove are coming to an end. To them I repeat: calculate the revenues and profits of BIG MEDIA -- and those of BLOGGERS. NO CONTEST.

Posted 5:08 PM by Gene

A question no one at THE PAPER OF RECORD will answer: Given your familiarity and SYMPATHY with the NOBLE PROTESTERS, do you PARTICIPATE? Or is THAT against a PIECE OF PAPER?

Posted 9:34 AM by Gene

The McCain Phenomenon

HOW WAS THE PARTY, SKNNNNNNNNNNX?

Posted 9:16 AM by Gene

And in FURTHER news of IMMORTALS:

McCain's Birthday Party Faithful

• Sen. John McCain tended to his political base Sunday night: the entire national media. The maverick Arizona Republican, once (and future?) presidential aspirant and press secretary's dream hosted a hyper-exclusive 68th birthday party for himself at La Goulue on Madison Avenue, leaving no media icon behind. Guests included NBC's Tom Brokaw and Tim Russert, ABC's Peter Jennings, Barbara Walters, Ted Koppel and George Stephanopoulos, CBS's Mike Wallace, Dan Rather and Bob Schieffer, CBS News President Andrew Heyward, ABC News chief David Westin, Time Warner CEO Richard Parsons, CNN's Judy Woodruff and Jeff Greenfield, MSNBC's Chris Matthews, CNBC's Gloria Borger, PBS's Charlie Rose -- pause here to exhale -- and U.S. News & World Report publisher Mort Zuckerman, Washington Post Chairman Don Graham, New York Times columnists William Safire and David Brooks, author Michael Lewis and USA Today columnist Walter Shapiro. They and others dined on lobster salad, loin of lamb, assorted wines, creme brulee, lemon souffle and French tarts.

NUF SAID.

Posted 8:59 AM by Gene

The world smiles, and the Palestinians speak in English.

Posted 8:36 AM by Gene

LEGENDARY WELCH'S GHOST wants to be the GRAYDON of BUSINESS!

Now THAT'S COURAGE.

Posted 6:49 AM by Gene

They should have ignored you, P. R. MIKE, but that's like ignoring a plague of locusts.

P. S.:

The episode left Owen Ullman, deputy managing editor of USA Today's editorial page, red-faced and a bit shaken. Ullman was, in effect, Moore's sponsor, and thus was left to plead on his behalf with waves of security personnel.

"We invited Mr. Moore to write a column for us, and he asked if he could unobtrusively observe the convention," said Ullman, recognizing with hindsight the absurdity of that proposition. "We did not anticipate that many would consider him the story and that it would create such commotion."

Unfortunately things will happen, USAOKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, when you invite a plague of locusts into Madison Square Garden.

Posted 6:42 AM by Gene

And speaking of the senior nuisance from Arizona, Whinin' Poutin' Richard thinks when he whispers sweet little nothings into news hacks' ears he tells the "truth," further underlining that the scribblers are among the most easily seduced people on earth.

Posted 6:34 AM by Gene

WHAT HE REALLY WANTED TO SAY:

"Despite the fact that my DEAR friend and colleague the junior senator from Massachusetts is a swell, swell, swell, SWELL guy and would make a very, VERY good president, I support the reelection of George W. Bush!

"I think."

Posted 6:21 AM by Gene

Here's a thought for Democrats: PAUL WOLFOWITZ PUT HIM THERE!!!!!

Let's see you campaign on THAT, DIP!

Posted 6:19 AM by Gene

Headline of the Month:

No Headline.

However, as it's about the infomercial, it has the advantage of being true.

Posted 7:32 PM by Gene

I guess it was this or a jet-powered skateboard.

Posted 7:27 PM by Gene

PRNewswire presents SPIN...

Knight Ridder and MSNBC to Conduct Major Series of Polls and Analysis of Presidential Election Voters in Key Swing States

...and SELL....

Eminem Gearing Up To Release New Album, ENCORE, On November 16, 2004

After the HACKS are through with these stories America should have a nervous breakdown.

Posted 6:34 PM by Gene

And speaking thereof, this is the last Web site that should ridicule voice menus.

Posted 5:22 PM by Gene

I'm surprised Kinsley.com obscured this one -- after all, it KNOCKS REPUBLICANS -- but face it, red-country pop culture stinks up the gym as much as the blue-country, only where the one does it with (c)rappers and movie-star fornicators, the other does it with patriotic doggerel and "Christian" "music." Either way, it's an eyesore and an earache.

Posted 5:22 PM by Gene

Bombs? WHAT bombs?

Posted 5:13 PM by Gene

You'll never guess who owns so much of the BIGMEDIA that donate a platform for Billionaires for Bush. Just guess.

Sorry, obscene wealth cuts both ways.

Posted 5:13 PM by Gene

If studying music makes you smarter, why are so many musicians broke?

Posted 5:01 PM by Gene

HOWIE "THE HAIR SHIRT" KURTZISM AT FULL TILT: Hacks at KnightRidder Miami Newspaper Monopoly are forbidden to buy tickets to political concerts for fear of making contributions, which should not forbid them from raving the concerts for their politics one bit.

Posted 12:16 PM by Gene

Al-Jazeera calls for release of French hostages

Pffh-hh-hh-hh-hh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

Posted 10:42 AM by Gene

MORTIFYING: That fire in the Jewish community center in Paris -- the story that got me linked through the Professor -- was apparently set by a Jew.

One thing blogging and news hackery have in common is that too much space can come between the story and the clarfication.

Posted 10:22 AM by Gene

SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....

Even EU Wouldn't Accept Venezuela's Election

Venezuela's recent recall election, monitored by former President Jimmy Carter, was so rigged in advance in favor of President Hugo Chavez that the European Union (EU) refused to play an observer's role.

A Wall Street Journal op-ed also claimed....

NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 6:35 AM by Gene

Okay, one LAST word on whatever it was that happened the last two weeks:

Some Greeks, in interviews in the newspapers and calls to radio talk shows, have started to blame their country's high security costs on the United States, which they saw as the principal terrorist target during the Olympics.

Shut up. You'll be paying billions for your white elephants for decades because YOU WANTED TO.

And finally, there's this last word: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING.

Posted 6:24 AM by Gene

But guess what, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL Republicans! We have -- OUR SIDE BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

It's gonna be a LONG four days.

Posted 6:22 AM by Gene

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL Republicans will remind people about 9/11! PINCH! We MUST do something about it! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVILLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!

Posted 5:58 PM by Gene

And on this day THE GAMES enter obscurity:

Some Moderate Republicans Criticize Bush

"Instead of partisan ideology — which increasingly has led moderates to leave the party — what's needed is a speedy return to the pragmatic, problem-solving mainstream," the group called Mainstream 2004 said in newspaper advertisements to be published Monday....

The list of Republicans signing the ad include former GOP Govs. David Cargo of New Mexico, Dan Evans of Washington, A. Linwood Holton of Virginia, William Milliken of Michigan, Walter Peterson of New Hampshire; former U.S. Sens. Charles Mathias of Maryland and Robert Stafford of Vermont; and Nathaniel Reed, former assistant Interior Secretary under Presidents Nixon and Ford, and Russell Train, EPA administrator under Presidents Nixon and Ford.

WHO?!?!?

Posted 5:45 PM by Gene

Last word until 2006:

"As I was watching Phelps win his last medal, my wife turned to me and asked, `Whatever happened to Mark Spitz?'"

Posted 3:57 PM by Gene

McCain seeks to close TV ad loophole

And when this doesn't work we'll try something else.

Posted 1:20 PM by Gene

Demonstrations aren't the way to get your message across anymore. Because now, you can own your own newspaper.

YES STERNO, we ALL use toilet paper. Alas, it only stops up a toilet.

Posted 1:15 PM by Gene

Speaking of INFOMERCIALS, 146 hacks are covering this week's for THE PAPER OF RECORD alone.

Wouldn't they be better off in the streets joining the protesters?

Posted 1:07 PM by Gene

Here's another problem with blogging: you get so caught up in the CW you get sucker-punched by the facts. I still submit THE GAMES are the biggest overhyped non-event this side of THE INFOMERCIALS, and it will be a relief not to hear of them again for another 30 months (or the INFOMERCIALS for four years); but after all the trash-talking and bad-mouthing, as a spectacle they seem to have come off well (they'd better have for all the money wasted), and Dave Barry speaks for all of us who have every right to be ashamed at our lock-step caterwauling.

My heart hasn't been in posting these last few days, and this is a good reason why.

Posted 8:59 AM by Gene

Looks like these GAMES, just like the last ones, will be remembered for the JUDGING.

Assuming, as always, that people remember them.

Posted 8:50 AM by Gene

Not-So-Swift Columnists for Truth is appalled.

And not-so-truthful, if we can judge from the shenanigans surrounding your CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED novel.

Posted 8:38 AM by Gene

I wonder if this story has given a cue to the LOOLOOS not to riot for the cause? Someone should tell them PINCH would be even MORE admiring. (Not that he wouldn't admire them if they DID.)