Eugene David<br>...The One-Minute Pundit

Posted 10:47 AM by Gene

Here UNSCAM has rumbled on for months, so when PINCH and the HOWELL SURROGATES finally report on it, who do they J'ACCUSE? AMERICANS.

And in the fourth graf, THE PAPER OF RECORD clears its throat with an implied set of parentheses:

((((The fact that these companies and individuals received oil from Iraq does not mean they did anything illegal, experts on the program said. Such allocations may have been proper if the individuals and companies received appropriate United Nations approval.)))) (Parentheses added.)

As the public gets angrier and angrier with NEWS HACKS, the NEWS HACKS grow more INTRANSIGENT. I wonder: how would they spin the WORD OF GOD? (Not that they'd need to -- news hacks ARE GODS.)

P. S.

Sanctions worked. Weapons inspectors worked. That is the bottom line of the long-awaited report on weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, written by President Bush's handpicked investigator.

I GUESS THEY DIDN'T WORK THAT WELL. PINCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P. P. S. Here's why NEWS HACKS win: the Duelfer report takes a LONG TIME to download, and who wants to spend a long time DOWNLOADING? Let the HACKS read it for you. Let the hacks PARSE IT and SPIN IT and DISTORT IT. How do we get beyond NEWS HACKS with reports as voluminous as this? Nevertheless, here are three hard-won LINKS -- and AN EXECUTIVE SUMMARY for the lazy (like me).

Posted 9:21 AM by Gene

Shucks, the forces of eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil win in Australia. I know -- RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!'s behind this!

Oh, I forgot. He's leaving.

Anyway, let's hope for more bombings and hostage -- er, let's hope the FORCES OF RIGHT prevail on OUR Election Day!

Posted 7:41 AM by Gene

Hey man, we need the space so's we can get HIGH!

Posted 7:12 AM by Gene

To be sure, I have labeled METRO "NEWS FOR DUMMIES!", but with something like this campaign press release there's something to be said for having all stories of three or four grafs. Most relevant facts need only that many. Once you get to twenty or thirty grafs with a political story the readers instinctively know the industry's inner Goebbels is on.

Posted 7:10 AM by Gene

THE FORCES OF REACTION AT SINCLAIR AGAIN ENGAGE IN EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL!!!!!

What is the diff between this and OMERTA threatening his reporters with PUNISHMENT for not adhering to his CODE? Why is brute force wrong only when CONSERVATIVES do it?

Posted 7:02 AM by Gene

W off ropes, scores points

What is this, an election or a boxing match?

Anything but an election, we've learned.

Posted 5:35 PM by Gene

Pennsylvania Governor Rendell Signs Bills

That's what worries us.

Posted 5:28 PM by Gene

Fast-actin' Power Line informs its readers the Nobel li-te-rah-teeyure winner's a Commie -- a day after I do so. (Where would we be without WeeklyStandard.com?) It also trumpeted DOW 36,000's no-doubt-typical prediction of a BOOMING JOB MARKET!!!!!

Pffh-hh-hh!!!!!

Posted 5:18 PM by Gene

DIP could (to use the words of that intolerant screaming meemie Bill Saletan) CLEAN DUBYA'S CLOCK by insinuating he'd have a lame-duck second term conducted largely in hiding. Which is precisely what would happen to DIP in his first when trouble started.

Posted 5:12 PM by Gene

The man who sang "Shipoopi" in the original production of The Music Man, Iggie Wolfington, has died, which given the ever-increasing torrent of cultural GENIUS inundating us is more than most of today's show-biz supernovas can say.

Posted 5:04 PM by Gene

Kausfiles is Stupid!

No more than usual.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Just kidding, Mick.

Posted 2:24 PM by Gene

Sirius Satellite Offering Shares, Notes

You're not Sirius! You're SUMNER! (PFFH-HH-HH!)

Posted 1:55 PM by Gene

Yesterday we mentioned the two thea-TAHS that got renamed the Schoenfeld and the Jacobs. Well, Broadway is AGHAST because the two honorees are -- gasp! -- LAWYERS. All the more appropriate to so name them. Other theatres have been named for great actresses (Helen Hayes) and playwrights (Eugene O'Neill) and composers (Richard Rodgers) and critics (Brooks Atkinson). How apt in this PLATINUM AGE OF ENTERTAINMENT to name theaters for LAWYERS SINCE THAT'S WHAT WRITES THE PLAYS.

Posted 9:41 AM by Gene

Egypt launches security dragnet in Sinai

DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH DA DUT DUT!!!!!

(Pffh-hh-hh!)

Posted 8:30 AM by Gene

I congratulate you for keeping politics out of your reviews, Mr. Sterritt, but your colleagues have not been as diligent. Indeed what infinitessimal respect I had for MOVIE-AD-BLURB COPYWRITERS vanished when they blasted P. R. MEL for his POLITICS and praised P. R. MIKE for his, whatever their films' excellence (or lack thereof). In the copywriters' small-minded, hermetically-sealed, cash-rich world merit is dead last behind trendiness, pretension, and self-aggrandisement. Turning movie reviews into thinly disguised campaign screeds is merely the proverbial icing on a rock-hard cake.

Posted 7:00 AM by Gene

Indecency fines stripped from DOD operations bill

STERNO DANCES ON HIS DESK TODAY!!!!!

Now back to more embarrassing $3,000 fines.

Posted 6:46 AM by Gene

Bush, Kerry Set for 'Town Hall' Debate

Oh how the news hacks smile in anticipation of the one loaded stupid question that makes Dubya disgorge a torrent of gaffes. Good rockin' tonight!

Posted 6:40 AM by Gene

I might work up a little "drollery" too if I shared a boat with Osama.

Posted 6:23 AM by Gene

You can say what you want to about Iraq, but WE ALWAYS HAVE THE LAST WORD.

Does The Economist who Makes Statistics Wince ever smile? I doubt it, not with all the EEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL in the world perpetrated by Dubya, and KARL ROVE, and THE FOUNDER OF HALLIBURTON. (Although he no doubt smirks a little when worshiping His God PINCH.)

Posted 6:21 AM by Gene

It could have been worse, a thought that will make lots of people very miserable.

Posted 6:18 AM by Gene

This year's Nobel Good Intentions Prize winner "slowed down deforestation" in Africa.

Surely we could have found SOMEBODY who hated us.

Posted 6:43 PM by Gene

RALPHIE BOY CONCEDES THE ELECTION!

Smart thinking!

Posted 5:42 PM by Gene

Sen. Miller Recasts 'Wizard of Oz': Kerry as the Scarecrow ...

and perhaps KARL ROVE as the GREAT and POWERFUL OZ...

and JOHN EDWARDS as DOROTHY.

(Sorry as always for the NewsMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Posted 5:38 PM by Gene

The Democrats' MARTYR of the DAY:

A Harris County Precinct 7 deputy constable was fired Wednesday after being accused of having a campaign sign in her county car.

Catherine Moore denied campaigning on county time, but a sign for Democratic candidate May Walker was found in the trunk of her county-owned vehicle, said Constable Michael C. Butler.

That tune goes well with the LET-'EM-RIP gang attacking America's Bush/Cheney signs.

Posted 5:35 PM by Gene

And in more EXCELSIOR news of the THEA-TAH, Broadway's getting two venues renamed as the Schoenfeld and the Jacobs.

Sorta rolls trippingly off the tongue like one of your recent musicals, si?

Posted 5:31 PM by Gene

Explosion damages Hilton hotel filled with Israelis in Egypt

And all Egypt CHEERS!!!!!

A Hilton too. How much do we pay you guys, oh holy thug HOSNI?

Posted 5:12 PM by Gene

One reason the SLOP that is JACK'S (now SAMMY GLICKMAN'S) ALPHABET SOUP is full of BOTULISM is that the recipe can be GAMED to help PUBLICITY STUNTS.

P. S. Expect IDIOT RAVES FROM ANDY S. and the RIGHT-WING GLIBERAL -- because it's A CONSERVATIVE MOVIE.

Posted 2:18 PM by Gene

CAN YOU REMEMBER the last time a TV news organization told you something you didn't expect them to say?

Do you have five years?

Posted 2:14 PM by Gene

The NEXT PC target: spelling.

Posted 1:52 PM by Gene

The Port Authority of New York and New Jersey pulled the permit on an art exhibit at Kennedy Airport after an opening-night party left a landmark terminal strewn with cigarette butts, broken glass and empty liquor bottles.

Don't they qualify as art?

Port Authority spokesman Pasquale DiFulco said guests at Friday's opening-night party had been illegally smoking inside the terminal, and that liquor had been sold without a permit. He said a door had been broken, walls were covered with graffiti and vomit was found on the floor.

IT IS ART!!!!!

Posted 1:27 PM by Gene

Lazy show-biz news hacks must ALWAYS fall back on PERFESSER B. S. THOMPSON and PAUL DRECK. Add to that list THE PUBLISHER OF TALKERS, an insider magazine hardly anybody reads. Whenever there's a story on talk radio HE shows up with a predictable sound byte, just like B. S. and PAUL DRECK. The absolute inundation of quotes from the same few sources shows up the HACKS' total lassitude and why reporting based on the same few quotes from the same few sources is NOT CREDIBLE.

(Corrected 2/16/2009; I gave this overexposed self-appointed expert of talk radio the wrong title.)

Posted 10:21 AM by Gene

The Electoral College is obsolete for precisely the reason modern NEWS HACKERY is obsolete: it involves MIDDLEMEN.

Posted 9:56 AM by Gene

Rodney Dangerfield, 1021-2004 [home-page SIC]

I tell ya he didn't get no respect!

Posted 9:49 AM by Gene

The left has KARL ROVE. The right has -- NOAM CHOMSKY!!!!!

Listen, I can believe Karl's a little scheming, and Noam a little brain-dead, but can't we debate politics on the MERITS?

Posted 9:30 AM by Gene

Don "I WUV BOONDOCKS" Wycliff says newspapers should run more "raw" news.

Why not? They rub us raw with overcooked news.

Posted 9:04 AM by Gene

Who? wins the Nobel Prize in Li-te-rah-teeyure -- AGAIN.

When does John "The Tinkler" Updike get it?

P. S. I think I know why they gave her the award:

A controversial figure in her homeland, Jelinek belonged to the Austrian Communist Party from 1974-91.

RAH! RAH! RAH! Her and Le Duc Tho!

Posted 8:13 AM by Gene

We all know what "public-service" jernalism is: bashing government and bashing conservatives. If people hate NEWS HACKS now, just think if they pursued THEEE TRUUUTH on "25 percent profits."

Posted 6:26 PM by Gene

My friends, they will not catch me. Though I may be on the run, and I may never be able to return home to my beloved Michigan, I make this solemn vow to you and yours: The slackers of America shall not be denied their noodles, they will proudly wear their clean underwear as free Americans, and they will vote Bush out of office come November 2nd (though they will not show up to the polls until well after noon)!

P. R. MIKE displays a sense of humor -- for once.

Posted 6:23 PM by Gene

Aren't kids plotting sequels to Columbine a little too often for comfort?

Posted 6:19 PM by Gene

And because the SUPERDUPERMEGABLOGGERS at POWER LINE!!!!! mentioned it, I'm now following that silly Iowa Exchange AND TradeSports.com, meaning I'm spending much of my time hypnotizing myself with red and green numbers and squiggly lines going up and down.

One other thing: how many of the traders are REPUBLICANS?

Posted 5:14 PM by Gene

THE NEXT TIME YOU READ A GLOWING PRESS RELEASE ABOUT THE GREAT TV SHOWS AND MOVIES INUNDATING THE LAND, REMEMBER:

TRIBUNE COMPANY owns 27 TV stations (including two stations in each of five markets), a radio station, and a 22% stake in Time Warner's The WB;

HEARST CORPORATION owns a majority stake in Hearst-Argyle Television, which owns 25 TV stations and has a production deal with GE Bancorp's TV and movie unit; stakes in numerous cable channels including ESPN and Lifetime, and two radio stations direct;

E. W. SCRIPPS owns ten TV stations and five cable channels;

GANNETT owns 21 TV stations (two in Jacksonville);

ADVANCE PUBLICATIONS owns numerous cable systems;

THE WASHINGTON POST COMPANY owns six TV stations and cable systems in nineteen states.

AND LEST WE FORGET:

Percent of Daily Circulation Belonging to Largest Newspaper Groups

Percent of Sunday Circulation Belonging to Largest Newspaper Groups

Posted 5:04 PM by Gene

THE IDIOTS OF THE RIGHT SAID VICE-PRESIDENT INSIDE CLEANED SEN. POLYESTER'S CLOCK. THE IDIOTS OF THE LEFT SAID SEN. POLYESTER CLEANED VICE-PRESIDENT INSIDE'S CLOCK. CAN'T WE JUST SAY THE PEOPLE SAYING THESE THINGS ON BOTH SIDES ARE IDIOTS?

HOW CAN WE DELIVER A FLAME MAIL TO THESE CRETINOUS BANSHEE-SCREAMING UPPER-CLASS PARTISANS?

Posted 3:13 PM by Gene

NETWORK TELEVISION'S COMING BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OR:

Broadcast Media Group

Eight Network-Affiliated TV Stations and Two Radio Stations

Who are we?

TV: Four CBS-, two NBC- and two ABC-affiliated stations....

WHAT'S GOOD FOR TIME WARNER IS GOOD FOR AMERICA!!!!!

Posted 1:12 PM by Gene

Oiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! An NRO piece made it to the TOP of Top Stories in G000,000,000,000,000gle News (THAT should shut up the conspiracy theorists for a while), so I click on it and it's twenty grafs of kvetching about bias -- then I jump to the end and SURE ENOUGH, the author works for BRENT!!!!! Such exercises are a reason the Web is so often a wild goose chase.

Hope you con-SER-vatives are HAPPY!

Posted 10:25 AM by Gene

Some exceptionally hopeful news for you to consider, YAHWEH:

An eight-year scheme to inflate circulation at the Chicago Sun-Times overstated sales of the newspaper by as many as 50,000 copies per day, its parent company reported Tuesday.

Does that $100 million include the ACCOUNTANTS?

Posted 9:33 AM by Gene

Sterno! STERNO!!!!! RADIO HAS BEEN LIBERATED!!!!!!!!!!! YAHWEH'S DOING HIS SHOW ON SATELLITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE GREATEST BROADCASTER IN ALL HISTORY is FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pffh-hh-hh!

OR:

Our financial obligations under the agreement are material, and consist of both fixed and incentive payments. These obligations are payable partly in cash and partly in shares of our common stock. [TRANSLATION: THEY'RE DOING WHAT SUMNER DID!!!!!]

We estimate that we will recoup our fixed obligations under the agreement when we acquire approximately 1,000,000 incremental subscribers. This estimate is based upon a number of significant assumptions (which we believe to be reasonable but which contain significant uncertainties), including the timing and costs of acquiring such subscribers and the length of time such individuals remain subscribers. [And assuming millions of adolescent deadbeats PAY UP.] In addition, if we achieve the incentive milestones contained in the agreement, we believe that the material positive effects on our business will far outweigh the related incentive payments. [Pray, brother-- PRAY!]

Our aggregate fixed obligations under the agreement are approximately $100 million per year. These costs include production and operating costs for the show, including compensation of show cast and staff, overhead, construction costs for a dedicated studio, a budget for the development of additional programming and marketing concepts, and payments to Stern and his agent. [TRANSLATION: They're spending ANNUALLY as much on ka-ka jokes and wee-wee jokes as on a FEATURE FILM!]

We are also obligated to make substantial stock-based incentive payments under the agreement if we significantly exceed agreed upon year-end subscriber targets during the term of the agreement, or acquire material amounts of subscribers during the term directly and trackably through Stern's efforts. [SUMNER SQUARED!!!!!] In addition, upon reaching an agreed upon number of subscribers, we will share a portion of the revenue we derive directly from advertising on the Stern channels [TRANSLATION: The freeloaders will pay up -- AND GET ADS! Big subscriber boost there!], and the revenue we derive from subscribers acquired during the term directly and trackably through Stern's efforts.

We believe that our agreement with Stern will have a material positive benefit to our business, including a positive impact on consumer awareness, average revenue per subscriber, churn [SEASICK ENOUGH?!?!?] and partner relations. Nevertheless, in the event we generate substantially fewer than 1,000,000 subscribers in excess of our current plans due to the addition of Stern to our programming line-up [!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!], the large fixed obligations under the agreement with Stern could have a material negative impact on our financial condition and results of operations.

OR:

WHO WANTS TO LAY ODDS ON A CHAPTER XI? (Then again, as P. R. MEL and P. R. MIKE proved, it does not pay to bet against a man with an ARMY REGIMENT of PUBLICISTS.)

P. S. STERNO and YAHWEH, WONKETTE and SEX, ANDY S. and GAY MARRIAGE, little and YASSIR -- WE NEED SOMEONE TO LIBERATE US FROM SUPERMEGABLOGGERS.

P. P. S. Did they mention ADVERTISING and MARKETING COSTS? DIDN'T THINK SO!

Posted 9:26 AM by Gene

The Country Music Association Awards are coming to New York.

That's okay. It hasn't been country music in years.

Posted 8:22 AM by Gene

Re Fassihi: "Why the hell did that e-mail get her in trouble?"

I can think of a few reasons, ROMY -- the fact that NEWS HACKS have hated the military for going on forty years; the fact that bad news in Iraq elects a DEMOCRAT in the White House, and the harping on it becomes a form of press bias; the fact that the JERRRNALISSST works for The Wall Street Journals Liberal Edition and, like all scribblers for the CERTS of NEWS, is morally and politically suspect; the fact that -- you want me to go ON, ROMY?

Posted 8:19 AM by Gene

When I see the graffiti on the walls and the scratchiti on the el cars I think, medicalizing youth isn't such a bad idea.

Posted 8:10 AM by Gene

I've come up with a GREAT slogan:

METRO®: NEWS FOR DUMMIES!™

Posted 6:57 AM by Gene

Duh, it's sorta tough to get high without money, duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

Posted 6:52 AM by Gene

BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH....

Dick Cheney does his job taking care of Edwards, putting Kerry's record back on the table, and setting the president up for the next debate.

ABC noted that more Republicans watched the debate than Democrats, which mostly explains Cheney's victory in their poll (it was just a straight survey of registered voters who watched the debate). If you correct for that, they show it as a tie. The CBS poll included only uncommitted voters and was sharply favorable to Edwards.

In summary, then, it looks like Edwards won.

BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH....

Posted 6:08 PM by Gene

Thirty states ready to ban abortion if Roe overturned

UNBIASED REPOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRTERRRRRRRRRRS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 5:58 PM by Gene

Largely out of jealousy I've razzed Mr. Bleat as one of the SUPERMEGABLOGGERS, i.e., a blowhard with luck and cutesy graphics. That may not have been just. I'm truly impressed at times with his insights, and today, reviewing a B noir flick of the 1940s, he has outdone himself.

Posted 5:27 PM by Gene

These last few days I've been reading what I fear will be the sole volume of Gary Giddins's projected two-book biography of Der Bingle, and the best and a most amusing chapter concerns the idiot Paramount publicists who could have given DAN BLATHER's crew a run for their money at lying (especially now as they'd work for the same company). One paragraph applies as much to today as it did to the 1930s, when at least the gold of the movies excused the dross of the publicity:

The power and arrogance of publicists was no secret. Hollywood lampooned them mercilessly, invariably portraying them as unscrupulous, ruthless, alcoholic, and utterly indifferent to the desires of the lost souls consigned to their unctuous hands....But the contempt of their associates by no means diminished the press agents' hold on the public's credulity. They were abetted by entertainment editors who cheerfully accomodated them, sometimes appending a reporter's byline to a standard press release.

USA OKAY!!!!!, Mrs. Slut, the DONALD -- the more things change....

Posted 5:25 PM by Gene

Should the government -- especially Illinois' government -- be in the pharmacy biz?

Posted 5:01 PM by Gene

Competition for eBay? Heaven forfend!

Posted 4:59 PM by Gene

With jobs going overseas and the economy stuck in neutral, more students are gravitating toward a cluster of highly specialized new majors, hoping these will give them an edge in a competitive job market. Popular choices include sports sales, video-game development, casino studies, and homeland security.

Driving interest in many of these fields is the perception that they will prove lucrative.

Oh they're lucrative, all right. Lucrative for colleges. Ka-CHINNNNNNNNNNG!

Posted 4:56 PM by Gene

You KNEW there'd be a catch: CHEAP CHANNEL's devoting less time to commercials, right? So guess what? IT'S PLAYING MORE COMMERCIALS! Meaning in practice the average radio listener won't tell the difference between five minutes of sixties and four minutes of thirties, meaning the average radio listener will still think THERE ARE TOO MANY ADS. GO FOR IT, LITTLE MARKIE!

Posted 10:40 AM by Gene

NEWS HACKS LIKE MARVIN KALB SAY I LOVE YOU -- TO HENRY THE K!!!!!

... I did wish you well from the bottom of my heart, the wisdom and the grace and the tolerance that are going to be so necessary to success because I very much have the feeling in the long sweep of history perhaps that your tenure is going to prove to be larger than simply something that has to do with diplomacy. There's a human and a psychological component here which has to be vindicated in a major way and I feel that very strongly and I wish you towering good luck.

...and WE LOVE YOU TOO -- for being ASSES.

Posted 10:22 AM by Gene

Dooo-do-dooo-doo-doo-doo-doot! FLASH!!

E&P's online editor admits he doesn't read print newspapers

We suspect that virus is rapidly spreading.

Posted 6:26 AM by Gene

Cleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-VER!

When Dan Rather finally admitted that fake memos might have been used in his "60 Minutes Wednesday" report on President Bush's National Guard Service, political insiders immediately suspected the hand of Karl Rove.

Rove has vehemently denied the speculation. But, as the Atlantic Monthly's Joshua Green points out in the upcoming issue, Bush's political guru has earned quite a reputation for using dirty tricks in the heat of a campaign.

OR:

Joshua Green [was] an editor at The Washington Monthly and a former staff writer at The American Prospect.

Trying to shake off those rumors about your JOB, Lloyd?

Posted 6:19 AM by Gene

Between Kirkus charging for book reviews and the PAPER OF RECORD BOOK REVIEW getting HEP the publishing biz isn't as virgin as some people think it is.

Posted 6:17 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: Rummy was in love with the sound of his own hup-two.

Posted 7:40 PM by Gene

The GET-A-LIFE!!!!! crowd is debating whether LUCAS SPIELBERG has a RIGHT to change His properties.

Maybe if you folks GOT A LIFE you wouldn't worry about some superbillionzillionaire and start doing some good.

Posted 7:15 PM by Gene

In light of the fact that Lowry Mays suffered a blood clot in his brain back in April (did YOU hear about it?) we will cease calling him "Lowsy." That said, we will NOT stop calling it CHEAP CHANNEL, even more so now that the advertiser-supported tyrant of the airwaves is "adapting to realities" by lobbying Congressjerks and going PC. What NEWT and THE FUNERAL DIRECTOR started, Little Markie can FINISH -- and he'll finish off radio if we're lucky.

Posted 5:26 PM by Gene

"ANYONE WHO LIP-SYNCHS IN PUBLIC ON STAGE WHEN YOU PAY £75 TO SEE THEM SHOULD BE SHOT!!!!!"

We would say "she's lost it" but we wouldn't have the slightest idea who we were talking about.

Posted 1:34 PM by Gene

I can hear OMERTA now: "A CONSERVATIVE NEWS ORGANIZATION BY DEFINITION CAN'T BE TRUTHFUL!!!!!"

Hey buddy, I think you liberals could say that about yourselves.

P. S.

To protect against the Iraqi intelligence documents being altered or misrepresented elsewhere on the Internet, CNSNews.com has decided to publish only the first of the 42 pages in Arabic, along with the English translation. Portions of some of the other memos in translated form are also being published to accompany this report. Credentialed journalists and counter-terrorism experts seeking to view the 42 pages of Arabic documents or to challenge their authenticity may make arrangements to do so at CNSNews.com headquarters in Alexandria, Va.

I don't think VIACON NETWORK NEWS did THAT.

Posted 11:57 AM by Gene

I really DON'T want to read TEN PAGES (or however many) of CW about MICKEYMOUSE NIXON and HARVEY WHINER, and if that's what THE NEW! IMPROVED!! NEW YORK!!! has for its readers it ought to stand in line behind the laddierags.

Posted 11:57 AM by Gene

Be it known: The laddie craze is kaput

TRANSLATION: There may not be THAT many male airheads.

Posted 11:20 AM by Gene

Sorry if I keep linking to OMERTA'S PAPER OF RECORD WEST today, but it has so many INTERESTING THINGS, like this piece of junk, linked through ROMY:

AT THE CORE OF THE RELENTLESS PARTISAN ASSAULT ON THE AMERICAN NEWS MEDIA'S TRADITION THAT GOOD JOURNALISM CAN AND SHOULD BE UNBIASED....

Yeah yeah, we know what you mean MERT. PARTISAN=CONSERVATIVE. You don't have to tell us. Anyway, you're mad, MERT, that THE WALL STREET JOURNALS LIBERAL EDITION'S star SLANT -- JERRRNALLIST outed her biases. You're mad that we now know she worked as a "translator" in IRAN. You're mad because you agreed with her, and now that conservatives are complaining it's somewhat more difficult for her to slan -- WORK; the LIBERAL EDITION'S EDITOR is telling her to KEEP HER BIASES QUIET UNTIL AFTER THE ELECTION. In short, another six-digit goes WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH in the luxury day care news suite.

Posted 11:09 AM by Gene

Well, here are 100,000 who might not warm up to THE KERRY DOCTRINE.

Posted 10:47 AM by Gene

Am I the only person who can say I don't care when Tiger gets married, or if, or how, or to whom?

Posted 10:33 AM by Gene

In their first bit of monkey biz the NINE FINGERS IN THE WIND uphold the Do-Not-Call List, meaning they know a good wind when they feel one.

Posted 10:33 AM by Gene

OH oh, a J'ACCUSE might stand in the way of baseball's new Taj Mahal in DC!

PINCH! PINCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 10:16 AM by Gene

G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER IS NOT WORKING PROPERLY. At what point does this become enough of a problem that the IDIOTS who want to send GOOG to $5,000 a share get to notice?

Posted 10:08 AM by Gene

Perhaps DIP's campaign is right to be ticked at the VRWC over this (I didn't post on this story given the speculation), but a Google of "Kerry Nixon" yields 277,000 hits, and if DIP and Tricky Dick weren't cloned they're not divided by too many degrees of separation.

Posted 9:58 AM by Gene

Americans win Nobel Prize for smell studies

One thing's sure: they couldn't do their work during an ELECTION.

Posted 9:50 AM by Gene

In politics, though, the definition of what's right can be slippery, and it is becoming the core question in Boxer's attempt for a third term in the Senate.

How did this line escape the eagle eye and vulture brain of OMERTA?

Posted 5:46 PM by Gene

Another reason to think G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE shares have nowhere to go but Up, Up, UP!!!!!: It posts a story that the main oxygen tank on the Orbiting Rattletrap has failed and the astronauts have to go on back-up. Unfortunately G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE's battery of computers did not notice this story was first posted on September 9.

Neither, it appears, did CBS News (see the date in the URL).

Posted 5:40 PM by Gene

KERRY FOR PRESIDENT -- I mean CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES -- say(s) the EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL DUBYA and his RASPUTIN KARL have a TRICK READY for OCTOBER.

If MSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. PELOSI didn't shake this campaign press agent's hand for a job well done, she should have. More to the point, it seems the Demwits don't want to capture ELVIS -- at any time (assuming he's alive, that is).

Posted 2:19 PM by Gene

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 6:

When bloggers break news, it's false.

Posted 2:13 PM by Gene

America's patriotic broadcasters reap their quadrennial reward! BUT (Larry Sabato alert):

When all the political dust has cleared, do all those ads really make a difference?

Maybe not, says Larry J. Sabato, a University of Virginia political analyst, "but the campaigns are afraid to find out. Part of it is just keeping up with the Joneses."

Why can't somebody FIND OUT?

Posted 1:05 PM by Gene

In truth, the news business had a disastrous summer. In July, a Senate intelligence committee and an official British investigation both concluded that President Bush had been on firm ground when he spoke the famous 16 words in his 2003 State of the Union message (that the British had learned Saddam Hussein had sought to acquire uranium in Africa). When the 16 words appeared to be untrue, the press endlessly trumpeted them, often on the front page, but when Bush drew heavy support from the two investigations, you could hardly find the news with a magnifying glass. In the New York Times, the British report was carried way inside the paper and read like a muddled translation from classical Urdu. This seems to happen a lot when the Times is forced to report news it doesn't like. On July 25, the Washington Post press critic, Howard Kurtz, reported that his newspaper had carried 96 references to the issue when Bush appeared to be wrong and only two after the revelation that he looked to be right. The totals for the three major networks and three elite newspapers, including the Los Angeles Times, were 302 before and nine after. According to Kurtz, CBS never did get around to mentioning that the investigations had supported the president.

HOORAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!! CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPBRAVO!!!!!!!!!! BRAVO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOORAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!
CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPHOORAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!! BRAVO!!!!!!!!!! BRAVO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOORAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!

A BIG FAT ZERO to The National Youth Anti-Drug Media Campaign for subjecting me to a Macromedia Flash ad I COULDN'T TURN OFF.

Posted 1:03 PM by Gene

And when DAN BLATHER gets his LOUD, PROLONGED STANDING OVATION tomorrow, what will it be for? For palming off forgeries? For standing by the forgeries when the rest of the world already knew? For stonewalling? For getting back at a president who razzed him for the DEAD AIR INCIDENT?

To update St. Edward of Murrow, television is merely glass, phosphors, chips and wires in a box.

Another prediction: after the standing O, DAN BLATHER CRIES.

P. S. This celebration is being cosponsored by the UNITY CONFERENCE, the fraud that cheered DIP, and laughed at and booed Dubya.

P. P. S.

Rather's refusal to discuss the National Guard story reflects a recent tight-lipped strategy at CBS News, which drew criticism for defending the Sept. 8 story for nearly two weeks and is hoping the controversy will fade. CBS recently hired Manhattan super-flack Howard Rubenstein to help with damage control. Rubenstein confirmed the hiring but declined to comment on his role.

Imagine if Johnson and Johnson had taken this tack with Tylenol. MORONS.