THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
Blogroll Me!
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Posted
1:10 PM
by Gene
ariah Carey could really use a nap" [SIC!] the client comes first -- and the reader comes LAST.
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO ELYSA!
Posted
12:43 PM
by Gene
Substitute "deke" and it means the same thing. This piece of -- legislation isn't going anywhere.
Posted
12:38 PM
by Gene
(Via Tina, who runs too much of this sort of thing)
Posted
12:31 PM
by Gene
If what was once the most prosperous manufacturing city in the nation has been brought to its knees, what does that say about our recent past? And if it can't find a way to get up, what does that say about our future?
Which makes me now wonder how useful it is to put TWXSTERS in a house in Detroit. All they can do is anecdotal reporting with streaks of hopefulness. What happened to NoMotown is an allegory, and it will take more than the jernalistic equivalent of good intentions to bring it back.
Posted
8:47 PM
by Gene
U.S. Demands Iran Make Public All Nuclear Efforts
Posted
1:45 PM
by Gene
Posted
9:43 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:28 AM
by Gene
Studio observers have said that the modern era of celebrity, with its 24-hour media coverage and scrutiny, makes the time ripe for a new "Star Is Born."
Ripe for a remake of a 72-year-old picture, a 55-year-old picture and a 33-year-old picture!
Posted
9:25 AM
by Gene
You know, given how our world "leaders" like to dish out wet noodles, I can understand that.
She also declares there is no difference between paying taxes to fund police and paying protection to the mob.
That, however, may go a little too far.
Posted
9:24 AM
by Gene
With MORE WET NOODLES!
Posted
5:50 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:40 PM
by Gene
Which company was down sixteen points today but revived, dammit.
Posted
5:30 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:20 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:45 PM
by Gene
WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And the Dow's only down 75 points!
Posted
1:35 PM
by Gene
(Via MediaBistro)
Posted
10:39 AM
by Gene
Hand gels supplied to a prison to combat the risk of swine flu have been removed after inmates realised it contained alcohol and began drinking it to try to get drunk.
The only way this could have been better is if it had involved global warming.
Posted
10:33 AM
by Gene
Rowan Laxton, 48, head of the South Asia desk of the Foreign and Commonwealth Office, was watching a television report about the death of a farmer killed by Israeli bombs when he exclaimed: “F***ing Israelis, f***ing Jews”.
He'd be perfect at the League of Nations!
Posted
9:54 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:26 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:15 AM
by Gene
What WILL we do now?
Posted
9:10 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:06 AM
by Gene
You wonder if the picture did it.
P. S. Steve must be annoyed: The Boston Glob said Tank was the guy -- and then the Kennedys had to complain. And he'd have been such a fine senator too!
Posted
6:12 PM
by Gene
The phrase "You make me tired" so comprehensively applies to politics it is best for people to avoid it lest we all turn into sleepwalkers.
Posted
6:07 PM
by Gene
Meantime in the soon-to-be-pay-again site (small loss), from Paramount Pete's sidekick, this confusing hed:
Twilight's Meyer Tackles Adult Pic Fare With Niccol
This is supposed to mean the director of that temporal teen heartthrob is directing a movee aimed at chronological adults, but so infantilized has the culture become we can only mistake "adult pic" for PR0N, especially as the biz can't make anything for older than a three-year-old.
Posted
2:43 PM
by Gene
DOW 50,000!!!!!
(Via Seeking Alpha)
Posted
2:38 PM
by Gene
Current "'obama recovery'" index: 82.
Posted
2:13 PM
by Gene
Posted
10:40 AM
by Gene
True enough -- what about all our superiors in the luxury news suites?
Posted
9:26 AM
by Gene
Unconfirmed reports have suggested Mr Brown might use ill-health as an excuse for standing down before the poll, and former Cabinet minister Charles Clarke said he should go "for his own dignity".
I was about to say something about mental but that would be low, wouldn't it?
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!
Posted
9:20 AM
by Gene
YOU'RE FIRED!
Posted
9:15 AM
by Gene
Every day is Despot Day there.
Posted
3:48 PM
by Gene
Greed isn't THAT good.
Posted
2:09 PM
by Gene
DOW 40,000!!!!!
(Via Seeking Alpha)
Posted
1:01 PM
by Gene
What makes such outages so delicious is this is when the Pointy-Haired Bosses of the world get their comeuppance.
Posted
12:49 PM
by Gene
Posted
9:15 AM
by Gene
This article is proof that charging $1,000 a year and putting everything behind a pay wall is no guarantee you get any closer to the truth -- indeed we surmise The BUGMEISTER's devotion to this rag has allowed its staff to get slack -- but just so long as they can type those snide adjectives they'll be okay.
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO THE GREATER PITTSBURGH CHAMBER OF COMMERCE!
P. S. When USAOKAY!!!!! does a better job with a subject than The Greater Pittsburgh Chamber of Commerce's new house organ you know lots of money is still wasted in the jernalism biz.
Posted
8:59 AM
by Gene
Let me guess: RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREGIETHEATERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!
Or as this direc-TOR puts it:
“If people would be happy after “Tosca,” then I would be upset.”
TRANSLATION: That 9/11 ad is a work of genius. Our consolation is opera is irrelevant, and becomes more irrelevant the more trendy it gets. Moreover it is the opposite of children: it should be heard and not seen. And we have plenty of opera recordings.
Posted
6:40 PM
by Gene
Frank Sinatra Jr. Narrates the Largest Production in Audio-Book History
'McKnight's Memory' is a full cast [SIC] 4 hr. audio-production [SIC] that has 11 star actors of the '60s. In this romantic thriller, Robert Culp plays a CIA agent with amnesia obsessed with 'the ultimate woman' played by Nancy Kwan. Is she on his side or helping his enemies destroy him as they are pursued by both the CIA and the mafia. [Double SIC]
Hollywood, CA (PRWEB) September 20, 2009 -- The just released full cast [SIC] audio-novel [SIC] 'McKnight's Memory', with film quality [SIC] effects and music, has 11 name actors of the '60s in the cast:
Frank Sinatra Jr. - Actor and singer still performing around the world. [SIC]
Robert Culp - I SPY - The Outer Limits - Bob, Ted, Carol, & Alice [SIC]
Nancy Kwan - The World of Suzie Wong - Flower Drum Song - Dragon The [SIC] Bruce Lee Story
David Hedison - The Fly - Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea - The Lost World
Don Stroud - The Buddy Holly Story - Cogan's [SIC] Bluff - Joe Kid [SIC] (both [SIC] with Clint Eastwood)
HM [SIC] Wynant - Twilight Zone's 'The Howling Man' - Run Silent Run [SIC] Deep (with Clark Cable) [SIC!!!!!]
Henry Silva - Oceans 11 - The Manchurian Candidate - Sergeants 3 (all with Frank Sinatra)
Edd Byrnes - Grease - 77 Sunset Strip - Darby's Rangers
Barbara Leigh - Junior Bonner (with Steve McQueen) - Pretty Maids All in a Row (with Rock Hudson)
Gary Lockwood - 2001 a [SIC] Space Odyssey - It Happened at the Worlds [SIC] Fair - Wild in the Country (both [SIC] with Elvis Presley)
Alan Young - The Time Machine - Tom Thumb - Mr. Ed
The story concerns CIA chief James McKnight, who wakes up in Columbia [SIC] in the middle of a shoot out with no memory. He is returned to Washington DC where he meets the beautiful Carla, the women [SIC] he lives with. Yet, [SIC] he doesn't remember her. "It's like sleeping with a beautiful stranger," he tells her.
Carla captivates McKnight to the extent of trusting her [SIC] when he shouldn't. Carla seems drawn to McKnight's power and position in the CIA, giving her a lifestyle that she couldn't have on her own. But is that all she's there for?
Is she really his lover? The one he chose for himself? Or did someone else choose her for him to keep him erotically sedated until the kill? And who is that other woman that he has nightmares about? And those bandits that he killed in Columbia [SIC] . Did they really come back to life? Or are they just a part of his amnesic dreams?
When McKnight thinks that both the CIA and the Mafia are trying to kill him, he has two choices, fight back or run with Carla. But can he trust her? Is she on his side or helping his enemies destroy him? Perhaps his strange dreams hold the answers to his bizarre situation and the truth about Carla. McKnight continues on his mysterious adventure, heading towards a startling revelation.
The audio-novel was written by Paul Kyriazi director [SIC] of six feature films including 'Omega Cop'.
Listen to an exciting free sample performed by Sinatra, Culp, & Kwan at:
http://lodingo.com/_catalog_49120/Ronin_Audio_Book_Downloads (McKnight's Memory Download Site)
###(Via PublishersWeekly.com, where the press releases are usually in book form)
(Revised 2/18/2010 at 10:35 a. m. I didn't notice "CLARK CABLE"?!?!?)
Posted
1:16 PM
by Gene
Ouch! It wasn't too long ago the hacks and the sales -- ANALYSTS invented the number $40 billion. Very Littler Jeffy! You should have quit while you were ahead -- in more ways than one.
Posted
10:52 AM
by Gene
Last one out turn off the set!
(Via MediaBistro)
Posted
9:38 AM
by Gene
Perfect timing!
Posted
9:31 AM
by Gene
P. S. at 1:08 p. m. Shucks, more people watched the CURE this year -- but it still got clobbered by football.
Posted
9:16 AM
by Gene
Take Porsche, whose models start at $46,000 and top $130,000. Its average incentives, which include cash-back rebates and other deals, were $4,412 through August, according to estimates from Autodata Corp. That's up 657% from the same period last year.
Bentley, meanwhile, is offering 0.9% financing on the Bentley Continental GT luxury coupe, which starts at about $180,000, said Edmunds.com auto analyst Jessica Caldwell.
"I've seen low APRs before, but 0.9% for Bentley -- that's more like what Chevy offers," Caldwell said.
And it's made by Volkswagen!
Posted
9:15 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:12 AM
by Gene
This will happen when a first-world country with a third-world mentality runs THE GAMES.
Posted
8:44 AM
by Gene
Post Executive Editor Marcus Brauchli said he worries "that we are not well-enough informed about conservative issues. It's particularly a problem in a town so dominated by Democrats and the Democratic point of view."
What's wrong with that?
(Via -- oh well -- Jennifer at Commentary)
Posted
6:48 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:05 PM
by Gene
1.
Colgate-Palmolive Co.'s SoftSoap maintained its share in the highly competitive body-wash category last year despite spending less than $5 million on measured media, according to TNS -- a fraction of spending by such behemoths as P&G's Olay, Unilever's Dove and Johnson & Johnson's Aveeno and Neutrogena. The recent launch of SoftSoap's Nutri Serum body wash added 3.9 share points for Colgate in the category to reach 12.4%, even before most consumer marketing for the brand switched on, according to Information Resources Inc., measuring the four weeks ended Sept. 6.
So why? WHY? WHY? must the American Society of Willfully Ignorant Advertisers finance JUNK TELEVISION?
2.
But what happens when the ads themselves become a negative inducement -- a form of punishment for users unwilling or unable to pay for the premium version? Online and mobile ads are already maligned for sorry targeting and bad creative and the fact that freemium models are counting on an "annoyance factor" isn't likely to help that case.
"Advertising in general is annoying and intrusive when it is not relevant," said Chris Cunningham, CEO of Appsavvy. "A lot of mobile ad networks have completely dropped the ball and let CPMs fall far below what they're worth."
So why? WHY? WHY? did you frauds move the GEORGE WASHINGTON HILL MODEL to the Web and mobile networks?
Posted
5:58 PM
by Gene
Scary: the King Abdullah University of Science and Technology, in Jeddah. It would have to look like a place where...never mind.
Posted
5:42 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:35 PM
by Gene
