THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
Blogroll Me!
![[Powered by Blogger]](http://buttons.blogger.com/bloggerbutton1.gif){kind=small}
Saturday, February 04, 2006
"YOU NEED TO TALK TO THE PR DEPARTMENT!!!!!"
You mean BusinessWeek?
(Sorry for the HUMAN EVENTS!!!!! We're not thoroughly convinced Michael Fumento is innocent, but any outfit that has insisted THE DONALD's worth $100 QUINTILLION and that employs LEGENDARY WELCH'S GHOST isn't innocent either.)
(Via the testy AmSpec blog)
You mean BusinessWeek?
(Sorry for the HUMAN EVENTS!!!!! We're not thoroughly convinced Michael Fumento is innocent, but any outfit that has insisted THE DONALD's worth $100 QUINTILLION and that employs LEGENDARY WELCH'S GHOST isn't innocent either.)
(Via the testy AmSpec blog)
Wealth in The Peoples' Paradise:
Forty-seven years after Castro's revolution, many Cubans still share an ethic of solidarity that stresses spiritual over material wealth. They may not have fancy stereos, but they crowd theaters for plays and concerts. Many express pride that their doctors are helping earthquake victims in Pakistan, even if it means their own medical service is affected.
Still, Cubans also are known for their ingenuity — and many manage to stretch their salaries in underhanded ways.
"If there were abundance, who would rob?" said Oscar Espinosa Chepe, a state-trained economist who became an anti-communist dissident. "Hardly anybody can survive by working honestly in Cuba."
Bakers sell customers a less than two ounce chunk of bread for the three-ounce price and pocket the change from selling the leftovers. Workers at state-run pizza stands sell "extra" cheese, tomatoes and cooking oil on the side. Bus drivers don't give tickets to all paying riders.
Off-shift state truck drivers help neighbors move construction materials — for a price. And employees at state stores take part of the inventory home to sell.
Other people offer services or handmade goods without the required self-employment licenses that the state tightly controls.
VIVA EL DICTATOR!
Forty-seven years after Castro's revolution, many Cubans still share an ethic of solidarity that stresses spiritual over material wealth. They may not have fancy stereos, but they crowd theaters for plays and concerts. Many express pride that their doctors are helping earthquake victims in Pakistan, even if it means their own medical service is affected.
Still, Cubans also are known for their ingenuity — and many manage to stretch their salaries in underhanded ways.
"If there were abundance, who would rob?" said Oscar Espinosa Chepe, a state-trained economist who became an anti-communist dissident. "Hardly anybody can survive by working honestly in Cuba."
Bakers sell customers a less than two ounce chunk of bread for the three-ounce price and pocket the change from selling the leftovers. Workers at state-run pizza stands sell "extra" cheese, tomatoes and cooking oil on the side. Bus drivers don't give tickets to all paying riders.
Off-shift state truck drivers help neighbors move construction materials — for a price. And employees at state stores take part of the inventory home to sell.
Other people offer services or handmade goods without the required self-employment licenses that the state tightly controls.
VIVA EL DICTATOR!
And speaking of the futility of life, one must cringe at why at least 88 people had to die in a panic over THIS.
Ever since the algorithms of the supergeniuses at Mountain View cut me off from the Next Blog button I've wondered whether blogging is worth anything, and especially my blogging. I've been posting less lately, as if in proof of Pavlov's theory. Certainly bloggers thrive on attention, and I haven't gotten much lately -- though I never got much to begin with. That said, I've suspected long before I knew the word "blog" that there is too much talk of politics and world affairs; I now know there are too many bloggers. Further this CARTOON biz demonstrates the utter idiocy to which public discourse now frequently descends. When Al Smith (or whoever it was) said that "the cure for the ills of democracy is more democracy" he never knew Free Republic or Democratic Underground. Nor could he have predicted that "democracy" would sweep thugs into power in the West Bank, though in some ways that outcome was foreordained, democracy or no. I really do feel that I say more with one or two sentences than the pros say with their hundreds of paragraphs, and I would like to believe I represent a wider swath of views and interests than they. But I'm tired of demonstrating my own depthless ignorance, and having it shoved into my face by the events of the day, and more to the point, I'm tired of typing into a vacuum. While I will not suspend this blog (as if anyone would care) I'm thinking of it. The CIA of Mountain View has already taken care of the posting.
My only solace is that said supergeniuses had their superwealth nicked, but it's only a matter of time before the tulip farmers plant new bulbs.
My only solace is that said supergeniuses had their superwealth nicked, but it's only a matter of time before the tulip farmers plant new bulbs.
Betty Friedan has died. She lived long enough to see feminism established as a bulwark of PC thinking in America, and to see it slowly crumble under the forces of conservatism. And as with any idea of principle it went too far, as 30,000,000 babies and countless divorcees and numberless Carly Fiorinos will attest.
Hundreds died -- and the captain abandoned ship.
In its way this is but a parable of the sad fate of the modern Arab.
P. S. at 8:21 p.m. The story with the captain may be false, but with the Arab world's governance it still resonates.
In its way this is but a parable of the sad fate of the modern Arab.
P. S. at 8:21 p.m. The story with the captain may be false, but with the Arab world's governance it still resonates.
Speaking of which, we firmly expect the mullahs' conference to be as undercovered as the CARTOONS have been overcovered.
"As certainly has been made clear on many occasions, Northwestern University as an institution obviously does not endorse or agree with the personal opinions of professor Butz," Cubbage said. "At the same time, however, the university does believe that its faculty members are entitled to express their own personal opinions."
We wonder how long big academia can get away with such malarkey. If the prof in question wanted a return to black slavery ol' N-U would find a way to show him the door, to the blessed rah-rahs of news hacks. This isn't a matter of mere politics. We may have to wait until the mad mullahs unleash their nukes before we get any courage from the scrambled eggheads.
We wonder how long big academia can get away with such malarkey. If the prof in question wanted a return to black slavery ol' N-U would find a way to show him the door, to the blessed rah-rahs of news hacks. This isn't a matter of mere politics. We may have to wait until the mad mullahs unleash their nukes before we get any courage from the scrambled eggheads.
Friday, February 03, 2006
If (as sycophants like THE MOGUL'S FRIEND constantly tell us) MOVIES ARE BETTER THAN EVER, why do so many open WITHOUT PRESS SCREENINGS?
Tens of thousands of Palestinians marched today against cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad that have appeared in European newspapers....
But not in American ones.
[Photo caption from the NYT home page]
But not in American ones.
[Photo caption from the NYT home page]
A Hamas-led Palestine, cut off entirely, will be forced to entertain second thoughts.
The problem is, Chuck, North Korea has learned to live with the stares of the world. So has "Myanmar." So has Cuba. So has Iran.
The problem is, Chuck, North Korea has learned to live with the stares of the world. So has "Myanmar." So has Cuba. So has Iran.
And in more FIRST AMENDMENT and high-tech-bubble news:
Illicit downloading of shock jock Howard Stern's shows increased fivefold Thursday after the Los Angeles Times reported on the broad availability of bootlegged versions of his Sirius Satellite Radio program on Internet file-sharing networks.
"The genie's out of the bottle," said Aram Sinnreich, managing partner of Radar Research, a Los Angeles media consulting firm.
Pffh-hh-hh hh hh hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!
This is probably the funniest thing that has ever happened with his "show."
Illicit downloading of shock jock Howard Stern's shows increased fivefold Thursday after the Los Angeles Times reported on the broad availability of bootlegged versions of his Sirius Satellite Radio program on Internet file-sharing networks.
"The genie's out of the bottle," said Aram Sinnreich, managing partner of Radar Research, a Los Angeles media consulting firm.
Pffh-hh-hh hh hh hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!
This is probably the funniest thing that has ever happened with his "show."
Thursday, February 02, 2006
I'm skeptical, as one should always be regarding a Nikki Finke article.
What did you say yesterday about EDDIE?
What did you say yesterday about EDDIE?
And with the same anger in our head, we wonder how much IDIOTIC TYPING LIKE THIS gums up the news works. Indeed we wonder how much of an unalloyed marvel the Web is when we trip and fall over it. Consider: in the old days the news was controlled by the much-maligned GATEKEEPERS. While it's true they were mostly effete snobs and HYPERLIBERALS, they performed a valuable function by keeping falsehoods and trivia out, however imperfectly. Now (as EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW! never stops telling us) everyone is his own editor. But where do America's millions of editors get their news? Increasingly from two wire services and a handful of MMMMMMMMMMSSSSSSSSSSMMMMMMMMMM sites -- and judging from the ROT they've run lately they've given up their own gatekeeping functions, turning themselves in huge dumpsters collecting and disgorging tons of junk. The news search is increasingly a wild goose chase, and we waste too much of our valuable time having to wade hip deep through the junk in the chase, and it will only pile up deeper, and smell stinkier.
The Punxsutawney orgy has become a symbol for everything bad about modern America. It must be superbig; it must be controlled by marketing and consumer-products companies; it's no doubt become another thing for CEOs to obsess about being there, to the sinking morale of their subordinates; it probably causes a sharp increase in crime in the environs (we'll NEVER hear about that), and it must be plastered on every medium TWENTY-FOUR HOURS A DAY FOR TWO WEEKS.
I HATE THIS AGE!
I HATE THIS AGE!
Amazon got G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLED.
We feel sort of sad about this; we've bought many times from Amazon; its prices are good and its delivery is fast. When the UNEVIL OF MOUNTAIN VIEW got walloped we were celebrating.
We feel sort of sad about this; we've bought many times from Amazon; its prices are good and its delivery is fast. When the UNEVIL OF MOUNTAIN VIEW got walloped we were celebrating.
Thankfully DOW 36,000 can see THE TRUTH. When Dubya talks of energy problems the CHATTERING CLASS has seized his brain!
Why didn't you pull that chattering-class gag when gas was $3 a gallon, DOW? Or were you fantasizing about your oil stocks?
Why didn't you pull that chattering-class gag when gas was $3 a gallon, DOW? Or were you fantasizing about your oil stocks?
Here we thought USAOKAY!!!!! was playing down its tradition of selling SUPER BOWL ADS, and then it runs a FULL-BLOWN HAPPY PRESS RELEASE on us! Way to go, AMERICA'S NO. 1 SALESPAPER!
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO THERESA! And no doubt MORE TOMORROW!
P. S. CNN, the USAOKAY!!!!! of cable news, tries to do OKAY!!!!! one better! All we know is so many people are filing so many stories on the @#$%&* SUPER BOWL ADS you could fill two volumes bigger than the Shorter Oxford English.
And who knows? In ten years they could fill a space equal to ITS DADDY!
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO THERESA! And no doubt MORE TOMORROW!
P. S. CNN, the USAOKAY!!!!! of cable news, tries to do OKAY!!!!! one better! All we know is so many people are filing so many stories on the @#$%&* SUPER BOWL ADS you could fill two volumes bigger than the Shorter Oxford English.
And who knows? In ten years they could fill a space equal to ITS DADDY!
MORE NBA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTITUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE:
The wife of New York Knicks forward Antonio Davis, whose verbal altercation with Chicago Bulls fans last month prompted her husband to run into the stands, has been charged with misdemeanor battery for allegedly flinging a hot cup of coffee on another woman during a traffic altercation in Naperville.
Think we could work an endorsement deal with Mickey D's or Starbucks?
The wife of New York Knicks forward Antonio Davis, whose verbal altercation with Chicago Bulls fans last month prompted her husband to run into the stands, has been charged with misdemeanor battery for allegedly flinging a hot cup of coffee on another woman during a traffic altercation in Naperville.
Think we could work an endorsement deal with Mickey D's or Starbucks?
The WaPost kvetches and moans over the potential decamping of a profit center, which forces us to ask, is any columnist really so good as to make many times more than the total budget of, say, Everett, Washington's Daily Herald, or our Community Newspaper business?
"Mr. Freedom of Speech himself. Mr. $500,000,000 has ordered me to shut down my PERSONAL Web site that some people stumbled upon."
HA! HA! HA! Mr. Freedom of Speech can dish it out but he can't take it! HA! HA! HA!
Has anyone noticed SIRI's chart lately? It's been down almost every day since the invention of the wheel. If only we knew how many of the early subscribers have ditched its service for the usual adolescent preoccupations, like sniffing glue.
HA! HA! HA! Mr. Freedom of Speech can dish it out but he can't take it! HA! HA! HA!
Has anyone noticed SIRI's chart lately? It's been down almost every day since the invention of the wheel. If only we knew how many of the early subscribers have ditched its service for the usual adolescent preoccupations, like sniffing glue.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
More news from the BRILLIANT WORLD OF MADAVE:
1. Coca-Cola has made enemies in the trucking biz with a SUPER BOWL ad featuring aggressive tailgating truckers, a depiction that has the advantage of being a stereotype and true.
2. In May we get the first Yum Derby (formerly the Kentucky Derby). This is a masterstroke of sponsorship, especially for a horse race.
1. Coca-Cola has made enemies in the trucking biz with a SUPER BOWL ad featuring aggressive tailgating truckers, a depiction that has the advantage of being a stereotype and true.
2. In May we get the first Yum Derby (formerly the Kentucky Derby). This is a masterstroke of sponsorship, especially for a horse race.
Somethin' stupid:
To Democrats desperately searching for an alternative to Hillary: What's wrong with Ed Rendell of Pennsylvania? Assuming he wins reelection, he's governor of a large swing state. He's sensible, plain-spoken and candid--the Democrats' McCain.
Well, yes, I can see the similarity: Boobs McKeating grabbed a vaultful from Charlie, and surely Eddie has an indictment in his future. Yes, Mr. Know-It-All -- "the Democrats' McCain" indeed.
To Democrats desperately searching for an alternative to Hillary: What's wrong with Ed Rendell of Pennsylvania? Assuming he wins reelection, he's governor of a large swing state. He's sensible, plain-spoken and candid--the Democrats' McCain.
Well, yes, I can see the similarity: Boobs McKeating grabbed a vaultful from Charlie, and surely Eddie has an indictment in his future. Yes, Mr. Know-It-All -- "the Democrats' McCain" indeed.
And in more on the MOO-VIES, ADAM! seems to have had trouble getting his Web act together with the NEW! IMPROVED! NewYork.com, but after a long delay he finally treats us to some more Effete Edelstein, and the results are typically mirth (and nausea) provoking:
His edgy, intuitive films don’t always gel—last year’s grating hardcore-vérité effort Nine Songs put me off sex for a week...
...for which the human race will be forever beholden to you.
His edgy, intuitive films don’t always gel—last year’s grating hardcore-vérité effort Nine Songs put me off sex for a week...
...for which the human race will be forever beholden to you.
The Mogul's Friend, who the other day praised himself for being blasted as "too critical of Hollywood", uses his column to say, "I love ya babes! Even the little-movie-making kind."
When a man who spends his whole life closeted with stars and execs has the gall to say the movies are in touch with America, it's time for some further evisceration of his employer -- which thankfully people seem to be doing.
And in more dimwitted hugging of the industry:
"The issue becomes, how do you reach the numbers of people who saw the movies the creative community is not honoring?" said Cates, who has produced 12 Oscar telecasts.
By saying, "Hollywood [has returned] to its role of cultural arbiter." JAWOHL!
And writing a piece of junk like this happily ignores what a piece of junk the Os-CARS® are -- and how they've traditionally ignored the best of the biz.
When a man who spends his whole life closeted with stars and execs has the gall to say the movies are in touch with America, it's time for some further evisceration of his employer -- which thankfully people seem to be doing.
And in more dimwitted hugging of the industry:
"The issue becomes, how do you reach the numbers of people who saw the movies the creative community is not honoring?" said Cates, who has produced 12 Oscar telecasts.
By saying, "Hollywood [has returned] to its role of cultural arbiter." JAWOHL!
And writing a piece of junk like this happily ignores what a piece of junk the Os-CARS® are -- and how they've traditionally ignored the best of the biz.
Every month or so brings us a National Lampoon revival. Somebody threatens to shoot another National Lampoon movie, or print another National Lampoon book, or revive National Lampoon magazine, and we never hear about it again -- until the next press release threatening another National Lampoon revival.
Gates Speaks Out Against Net Censorship
TRANSLATION: There's an embarrassing Congressional hearing coming up.
TRANSLATION: There's an embarrassing Congressional hearing coming up.
What do these stories have in common?
STUDY: OVER 100 CEOs OUT IN 2005
MARKETERS GET THEIR SUPER BOWL PARTY ON IN MOTOWN
Of course: Let's have a little FUN with our imperial reigns!
STUDY: OVER 100 CEOs OUT IN 2005
MARKETERS GET THEIR SUPER BOWL PARTY ON IN MOTOWN
Of course: Let's have a little FUN with our imperial reigns!
Ooooooooh, Curley's (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) Stooges find people who were ANGRY with Dubya!
Here's the problem with modern news hackery: even when it's truthful all the heavily-weighted baggage of its ideology sinks it into the realm of the lie.
Here's the problem with modern news hackery: even when it's truthful all the heavily-weighted baggage of its ideology sinks it into the realm of the lie.
George W. Bush made an implicit concession Tuesday night: After five momentous years he has little new to say.
We could have said that before he was elected.
We could have said that before he was elected.
Another reason we MUST have MORE reporters earning MORE money doing MORE work: thumbsuckers. An ordinary Web surfer like me can glean the fats and draw his own conclusions, but the devoted news hack won't do that: he must turn a one-graf story into twenty grafs of rehash, citing the usual overeager sound-byte providers, flat-footedly trying to avoid the obviously while stumbling face first into it. As more than one person has said, most papers could further reduce their staffs and most readers wouldn't know the difference. If thumbsuckers disappeared from newspapers tomorrow we wouldn't know -- and we wouldn't care.
Whenever you're blue, Dow 36,000, think of this story: some big Kansas outfit decided to shut down a trucking company rather than submit to a strike -- and here's the part you'll love:
Edwin Taylor, 44, a former Red Star driver from Maple Shade, said he was hanging his hopes on the NLRB case, because the lawsuit settlement cannot compensate for what he lost when Red Star closed.
Taylor, a father of three, said Red Star's closing cost him a job paying more than $4,400 a month with excellent benefits and four weeks' vacation.
Eventually he landed back at the same terminal, now run by another division of USF Corp. With less seniority, his days are longer, his work is more demanding, his pay rate is lower, and he gets only a week's vacation per year.
"I've had a pretty rough time. This has been quite a strain," Taylor said.
And it did have to pay up through the NLRB, but that's the cost of free en-ter-prise, isn't it Dow? So when CEOs get 100 percent raises rather than 200, or the UNEVIL of MOUNTAIN VIEW misses the salesm -- ANALYSTS' estimates, just think of this guy, and you'll feel MUCH better.
Edwin Taylor, 44, a former Red Star driver from Maple Shade, said he was hanging his hopes on the NLRB case, because the lawsuit settlement cannot compensate for what he lost when Red Star closed.
Taylor, a father of three, said Red Star's closing cost him a job paying more than $4,400 a month with excellent benefits and four weeks' vacation.
Eventually he landed back at the same terminal, now run by another division of USF Corp. With less seniority, his days are longer, his work is more demanding, his pay rate is lower, and he gets only a week's vacation per year.
"I've had a pretty rough time. This has been quite a strain," Taylor said.
And it did have to pay up through the NLRB, but that's the cost of free en-ter-prise, isn't it Dow? So when CEOs get 100 percent raises rather than 200, or the UNEVIL of MOUNTAIN VIEW misses the salesm -- ANALYSTS' estimates, just think of this guy, and you'll feel MUCH better.
We didn't get to see the List -- it was past our bedtime -- but we see Dubya made a thing about saving energy, and he goaded Congress into helping him out, then he no doubt proposed 500 costly "initiatives" on which it could help out.
Congresspoop Lynn "Woolly" Woolsey invited Hugo's favorite American to the Presidential Laundry List, where she got arrested for telling the truth. This was so carefully choreographed we suspect the Democratic leadership knew. These folks are getting to be our enemies' best friends, all in the name of throwing a tantrum against Dubya.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Speaking of Romy, there's been a lot of debate over whether Bob Woodruff's awful circumstance has gotten too much coverage. I say not. We can't recall any news personality of his star power getting up close to the action like this, although with many hacks it's testosterone at work. We question the necessity of putting TV newsmen in harm's way given the multitude of stories in a war zone, and many are not photogenic; we further understand the cringing, as most of our brave soldiers have died without Kliegl lights on, and as the hacks do tend to hold the mirror to themselves. We don't think vanity is entirely at work here, however, and we wish Mr. Woodruff and his cameraman a speedy recovery.
The next time NEWS HACKS plead poverty let us remember the TRAGIC TALE of TONY KORNHEISER.
Mike Tirico doing play-by-play. ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....
(Via the usual Romy, only a day late)
Mike Tirico doing play-by-play. ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....
(Via the usual Romy, only a day late)
The Iranian government has handed over to the International Atomic Energy Agency a document whose only use would be in making nuclear weapons parts, the IAEA said in a confidential report obtained Tuesday by AFP.
Has anyone ever heard of copiers?
Has anyone ever heard of copiers?
An elephant went through the tulip garden, HA HA HA!
The Chinese Communists only add to our satisfaction.
The Chinese Communists only add to our satisfaction.
Congressional aides have been tampering with the biographies of elected officials on the encyclopedia Web site Wikipedia to such an extent that three times Wikipedia has blocked the entire House computer network from accessing the site.
ETHICAL!
In one example of tampering, aides to Rep. Marty Meehan, D-Mass., removed references to the congressman’s broken term-limits pledge, according to Roll Call.
A story in a local newspaper prompted Meehan to write an editorial blaming an intern in his office for "updating his biography.”
In other cases there has been no way to know for certain who did the tampering, since Wikipedia can trace changes only to the House Internet protocol address, not to any specific House office.
So Wikipedia simply lists the vandalism offenses in one section of the site.
In the case of Rep. Richard Pombo, R-Calif., someone removed references in his bio "to possible ties to Jack Abramoff and many other ... politically damaging items.”
The vandal who tampered with the bio of Rep. Sam Johnson, R-Texas, is accused of "removing unflattering quotes.”
Those quotes were about him wanting to "nuke” Syria, according to Roll Call.
EXTREMELY ETHICAL!!!!!
(Sorry for the NewsMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
ETHICAL!
In one example of tampering, aides to Rep. Marty Meehan, D-Mass., removed references to the congressman’s broken term-limits pledge, according to Roll Call.
A story in a local newspaper prompted Meehan to write an editorial blaming an intern in his office for "updating his biography.”
In other cases there has been no way to know for certain who did the tampering, since Wikipedia can trace changes only to the House Internet protocol address, not to any specific House office.
So Wikipedia simply lists the vandalism offenses in one section of the site.
In the case of Rep. Richard Pombo, R-Calif., someone removed references in his bio "to possible ties to Jack Abramoff and many other ... politically damaging items.”
The vandal who tampered with the bio of Rep. Sam Johnson, R-Texas, is accused of "removing unflattering quotes.”
Those quotes were about him wanting to "nuke” Syria, according to Roll Call.
EXTREMELY ETHICAL!!!!!
(Sorry for the NewsMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Hilarity in Florida:
Police: 'Bored' Teens Tossed Cinder Blocks Into 114 Cars
SUMNER should sign them to a contract.
(Via the Freep)
Police: 'Bored' Teens Tossed Cinder Blocks Into 114 Cars
SUMNER should sign them to a contract.
(Via the Freep)
But there is always hope:
Kennedy Seen as The Next Justice In Court's Middle
TRANSLATION: Now, more than ever, we call him MODERATE.
Kennedy Seen as The Next Justice In Court's Middle
TRANSLATION: Now, more than ever, we call him MODERATE.
Shucks, the NAZ -- the EXTRE -- the JUDGE has been confirmed.
Now on to the DARK AGE.
Pfffffffffffffffffffft!!!!!
Now on to the DARK AGE.
Pfffffffffffffffffffft!!!!!
In fact, many upsets could occur in many top categories on March 5. All over Hollywood you can hear Oscar voters whining, "This is the most boring Oscar year ever! Well, one thing's for sure! I am NOT voting for ..." (fill in the blank).
What a surprise: the Os-CAR® winners could win by elimination.
MOVIES ARE BETTER THAN EVER!!!!!
What a surprise: the Os-CAR® winners could win by elimination.
MOVIES ARE BETTER THAN EVER!!!!!
Books are EDITED?!?!?
And this is a CW book reviewer who should know better. No, he's a book reviewer so he doesn't know better.
(Via ArtsJournal.com)
And this is a CW book reviewer who should know better. No, he's a book reviewer so he doesn't know better.
(Via ArtsJournal.com)
And speaking of the Os-CARS®:
Take a look at the Nielsen figures for the show, and the numbers are startling. This supposedly terrific program, with its high hipness factor - people actually say they get their only news from "The Daily Show" - is averaging 1.3 million viewers in January, most of them men between the ages of 18 and 49. During November, the political high season in which Stewart and his cohorts supposedly thrive, the show averaged 1.45 million viewers.
For comparison, Nielsen estimates there are 218 million people over the age of 18 in the nation's 112 million homes with televisions.
That's a lot of people not getting Stewart's comedy.
Now, before the legions of Stewartites start bellyaching that the show airs on Comedy Central, so the numbers are going to be smaller, stop. Comedy Central is in 88 million homes, so it's well-distributed.
What's more, Stewart gets amazing press for his work - a level far outstripping his reach - so even if people aren't watching, they've heard about him.
But that's the point.
Stewart's appeal - at least from what's on Comedy Central - is limited at best. He's playing to a small crowd, just like many of the other critically acclaimed phenoms dotting the pop-culture landscape.
There's the rub.
There's the rub indeed.
(Via ROMY, who no doubt fumed)
Take a look at the Nielsen figures for the show, and the numbers are startling. This supposedly terrific program, with its high hipness factor - people actually say they get their only news from "The Daily Show" - is averaging 1.3 million viewers in January, most of them men between the ages of 18 and 49. During November, the political high season in which Stewart and his cohorts supposedly thrive, the show averaged 1.45 million viewers.
For comparison, Nielsen estimates there are 218 million people over the age of 18 in the nation's 112 million homes with televisions.
That's a lot of people not getting Stewart's comedy.
Now, before the legions of Stewartites start bellyaching that the show airs on Comedy Central, so the numbers are going to be smaller, stop. Comedy Central is in 88 million homes, so it's well-distributed.
What's more, Stewart gets amazing press for his work - a level far outstripping his reach - so even if people aren't watching, they've heard about him.
But that's the point.
Stewart's appeal - at least from what's on Comedy Central - is limited at best. He's playing to a small crowd, just like many of the other critically acclaimed phenoms dotting the pop-culture landscape.
There's the rub.
There's the rub indeed.
(Via ROMY, who no doubt fumed)
Nature's message to men and women "of a certain age" would seem to have a certain harmonious foundation. After all, vaginal dryness and erectile dysfunction are clearly intended to comfortably coexist. But Americans deal badly with all signs of aging. Other commercials will quickly sketch a composite profile of our vanities, promising, as they do, a restoration of our hair, an elimination of our facial lines, the tightening of thighs and buttocks. There's nothing new about Man's quest for eternal youth, but the American mercantile drive has intensified it in an unprecedented fashion.
Yes, using the "Koppel Randomizer," we can agree -- the former Nightlight Lord's writing STINKS.
Yes, using the "Koppel Randomizer," we can agree -- the former Nightlight Lord's writing STINKS.
We could start a site devoted exclusively to the murder of children, but we doubt we could survive two weeks doing it. One of the latest victims was everlastingly punished for knocking over a television.
And why do words like "social worker" always pop up here?
And why do words like "social worker" always pop up here?
Mrs. King has died. She spent her life pontificating of "peace and justice", which was slightly less than her husband did. We will now have two weeks of state-media mourning, or at least until the GE BANCORP and REALTY GAMES come along, when we can think of greed as usual.
My view is considerably more sympathetic both to Google and to China and its leaders....
What did Lenin say about rope? He never knew glibertarians. They don't even need it. They can hang themselves with their tongues.
James V. DeLong is a Senior Fellow at the Progress & Freedom Foundation in Washington, D.C. This article represents his own opinions, which may not be shared by PFF, its staff, or it directors.
Did Jimmy put this in to inspire flame-mails and hate calls for his think tank's interns?
Editor’s note: To see another take on this debate, read Glenn Reynolds’s article today on TCS.
And a big fat ZERO to DOW 36,000 for taking two sides so he could protect his investments.
What did Lenin say about rope? He never knew glibertarians. They don't even need it. They can hang themselves with their tongues.
James V. DeLong is a Senior Fellow at the Progress & Freedom Foundation in Washington, D.C. This article represents his own opinions, which may not be shared by PFF, its staff, or it directors.
Did Jimmy put this in to inspire flame-mails and hate calls for his think tank's interns?
Editor’s note: To see another take on this debate, read Glenn Reynolds’s article today on TCS.
And a big fat ZERO to DOW 36,000 for taking two sides so he could protect his investments.
And speaking of tolerance:
Liberal activists -- among them graying leftovers from the Vietnam-era antiwar movement -- plan to gather near the Capitol tonight, banging pots and pans to drown out President Bush's State of the Union address.
We would say we hope they go deaf except they went deaf inside a long time ago.
Liberal activists -- among them graying leftovers from the Vietnam-era antiwar movement -- plan to gather near the Capitol tonight, banging pots and pans to drown out President Bush's State of the Union address.
We would say we hope they go deaf except they went deaf inside a long time ago.
The Mogul's Friend congratulates himself as "often accused of being too critical of Hollywood," then, remembering his constituents, serves up a nice big fifteen-course dinner of praise for the biz' social conscience, topped with a big hearty dessert of scorn for old fogies. Certainly his employer knows the virtue of a social conscience; it's been twisting and jerking trying to appease old fogies while seeing its circulation fall through the floor. Nowhere in his paean does he mention that these masterworks have not done land-office business except in the land of the Lilliputs. Nobody has to tell The Mogul's Friend he's always right, be we do wish he'd stop trying to convince the rest of us.
Monday, January 30, 2006
And in further news-biz myopia, or shall we say OOPS:
Three important lessons emerge from the media's coverage of Enron, say Dyck and Zingales. First, "that while many transactions were concealed, there was enough public information available to raise serious doubt about the credibility of Enron's earnings". Second, "that instead of scrutinizing Enron's accounts, [the media] acted as cheerleader all the way to the end." Third, journalists who "question the existing optimistic consensus incur constant harassment from the target company." While the rewards of reporting bad news are little different from reporting good news, the costs are very different, especially in bubbles.
TRANSLATION: LOLLIPOP LOU DOBBS ALL THE WAY.
Three important lessons emerge from the media's coverage of Enron, say Dyck and Zingales. First, "that while many transactions were concealed, there was enough public information available to raise serious doubt about the credibility of Enron's earnings". Second, "that instead of scrutinizing Enron's accounts, [the media] acted as cheerleader all the way to the end." Third, journalists who "question the existing optimistic consensus incur constant harassment from the target company." While the rewards of reporting bad news are little different from reporting good news, the costs are very different, especially in bubbles.
TRANSLATION: LOLLIPOP LOU DOBBS ALL THE WAY.
The Osama Channel's latest publicity stunt and this piece of TRIPE from CURLEY's (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES have more in common than you might think. Aside from being automatic "reporting" and requiring no editing they're both de facto press releases. News hacks have complained for months about how we need their in-depth "reporting," how the mean bad old Web is taking their biz to the cleaners and leaving it not a shirt, but when the time comes for in-depth reporting we get press releases. This may explain why the hacks are somewhere below lawyers in the public estimation and falling fast.
James Bassil, editor-in-chief of AskMen.com, told The Associated Press the list was determined by the rankings of 2.5 million readers and by the site's staff.
Somewhere some moronic typist or editor justified running this piece of TRIPE with that pretentious wording. THE, um, ASSOCIATED, um, PRESS!!!!! Junk food is junk food whether it comes from PepsiCo or CURLEY.
James Bassil, editor-in-chief of AskMen.com, told The Associated Press the list was determined by the rankings of 2.5 million readers and by the site's staff.
Somewhere some moronic typist or editor justified running this piece of TRIPE with that pretentious wording. THE, um, ASSOCIATED, um, PRESS!!!!! Junk food is junk food whether it comes from PepsiCo or CURLEY.
Coca-Cola may take on Starbucks
How much of Coke's sales come from anything that isn't Coke syrup? Minute Maid is an also-ran. No, the only way to get huge is through a three-way merger with Mickey D's and Heinz, and then it can be as super-bad as the rest of the food trade.
How much of Coke's sales come from anything that isn't Coke syrup? Minute Maid is an also-ran. No, the only way to get huge is through a three-way merger with Mickey D's and Heinz, and then it can be as super-bad as the rest of the food trade.
Requiem for the food industry:
"They want to have a healthy image, but the healthy stuff is not making the money that the bad stuff does because the costs are so much higher."
"They want to have a healthy image, but the healthy stuff is not making the money that the bad stuff does because the costs are so much higher."
Shucks, the forces of REACTION won, and now this NAZ -- hard-right CONSERVATIVE will be confirmed.
We can only hope he succumbs to the GREENHOUSE EFFECT.
Pffffffffffffffft!
Meantime DU is committing mass suicide while Freepers were playing with dirty pictures til the mods cut them off.
We can only hope he succumbs to the GREENHOUSE EFFECT.
Pffffffffffffffft!
Meantime DU is committing mass suicide while Freepers were playing with dirty pictures til the mods cut them off.
If Terry Teachout if correct about e-books, this will mean two things: 1. There will be a hundred million books with no readers, and 2. Literature will be even more likely to disappear than it does now, as books now merely rely on paper manufacturers, and e-books will have to rely on GEEKS. How odd that an age with a surfeit of "culture" will leave so little to posterity; the impermanence of the medium confirms the impermanence of the "art."
Time to raise the white flag on porn. The idea that "talk" can tame this hydra-headed monster is worse than risible. But that seems to be our society's way: when facing a problem, don't act, talk it out. Meantime the monster grows ten billion more heads.
We're sorry that the Louisvile Courier-Journal is shutting down its far-flung bureaus, but we hate to say it again, the biz should have thought of such things when it decided it would RATHER BE RIGHT.
(Again, via the Romy)
(Again, via the Romy)
We should not wonder that holy cockroaches hate Beethoven's Ninth; their favorite music is people screaming.
(Via ArtsJournal.com)
(Via ArtsJournal.com)
Some idiot named Eric, er, Schmidt laughs at the peons:
“We concluded that although we weren’t wild about the restrictions, it was even worse to not try to serve those users at all,” Schmidt said. “We actually did an evil scale and decided not to serve at all was worse evil,” he said, referring to the company’s famous “don’t be evil” creed.
Don't worry, Eric; our friends the tulip growers will save your bacon on Wednesday though you still deserve to BURN.
(Via the Freep)
“We concluded that although we weren’t wild about the restrictions, it was even worse to not try to serve those users at all,” Schmidt said. “We actually did an evil scale and decided not to serve at all was worse evil,” he said, referring to the company’s famous “don’t be evil” creed.
Don't worry, Eric; our friends the tulip growers will save your bacon on Wednesday though you still deserve to BURN.
(Via the Freep)
Dan blathers -- again:
Some bloggers, he said, have found blogging to be "a good way to further a particular political agenda. It's not a crime," he said. But the public should recognize "there's a new opportunity here to manipulate public opinion."
We'll take that as definitive from a master at manipulating it, especially with National Guard memos.
(Via the usual Romy)
Some bloggers, he said, have found blogging to be "a good way to further a particular political agenda. It's not a crime," he said. But the public should recognize "there's a new opportunity here to manipulate public opinion."
We'll take that as definitive from a master at manipulating it, especially with National Guard memos.
(Via the usual Romy)
Irving, Texas-based Exxon Mobil on Monday reported fourth quarter net income of $10.71 billion, or $1.71 a share, compared with $8.42 billion, or $1.30 a share, earned a year ago.
WOW! That's a windfall of profits.
Unfortunately, TCSDaily did NOT run a piece today extolling the virtues of its FREE-EN-TER-PRISE CON-SER-VA-TISM.
WOW! That's a windfall of profits.
Unfortunately, TCSDaily did NOT run a piece today extolling the virtues of its FREE-EN-TER-PRISE CON-SER-VA-TISM.
Sunday, January 29, 2006
RENDELLISM comes to RENO, where a decline in the GAMING biz has turned old casinos into CONDOS!
Hey Eddie! I thought GAMING was a magic potion!
Hey Eddie! I thought GAMING was a magic potion!
Meantime their opposite numbers at People Warner seem stone-cold sober, with a cover on illegal immigrants and an inside report on Hamas, and there's also a story on how Katrina moved criminals to Houston, and all this makes us think, if one of these rags actually ran NEWS, and did so in a professional, thorough and objective manner, and completely ditched show-biz buggery and service features, it might put its rivals to shame, if not out of business.
As Mr. Mark ceased running news in his rag years ago -- lately the cover topics have resembled Useless News's boring service features, and we can only say, more of them! -- he's decided, what the heck, if we're going to engage in show-biz buggery let's go all the way! So he stages a Valentine's-Day party in advance in which all the big-name participants exchange phone numbers. The hack who says "fascinating" and "uncensored" as his hacks do here is like the politician who says "frankly" -- his sole purpose is to make money and shaft the public. But despite the unprecedented orgy of CW Mr. Mark is nothing if not the MARKeter; he knows his coffee tables won't go for a bunch of high-toned table-pounding arthouse bores, so unlike last year save for a little squib he didn't put them on the cover, however immortal they are -- truly a loss for humanity! Elsewhere we spin for Her Royal Highness Oprah, in the hopes She'll return the favor by letting us in on Her zillions.
It feels like we're in the 1970s again.
TRANSLATION: PINCH ME!! Movies are BETTER THAN EVER!! And I've found my ONE TRUE LOVE -- ME!!!!!
And the shame of it is, here's a short, riveting piece on the treatment of mental illness, but because it's in Mr. Mark's rag we might not take the trouble to see it, disgusted as we are with his spin and sell.
It feels like we're in the 1970s again.
TRANSLATION: PINCH ME!! Movies are BETTER THAN EVER!! And I've found my ONE TRUE LOVE -- ME!!!!!
And the shame of it is, here's a short, riveting piece on the treatment of mental illness, but because it's in Mr. Mark's rag we might not take the trouble to see it, disgusted as we are with his spin and sell.