THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
Blogroll Me!
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Saturday, June 17, 2006
A rock ad-blurbist proclaims a budding platinum age for the soundtrack -- CAST album (there I go again), with masterpieces recorded by world-famous labels like Ghostlight and PS Classics, and selling -- hundreds every month. If THAT.
Some flacks refuse to admit the musical is dead, because in doing so it might render their own careers moribund.
And here is Ghostlight's exhilarating explanation of its name:
It is a long-time practice in the theatre that a ghost light -- a floor lamp holding a single bare light bulb -- be lit on stage after everyone has left for the night, so that the theatre never goes dark.
CULTURAL CONFIDENCE!
(Via the usual ArtsJournal.com)
Some flacks refuse to admit the musical is dead, because in doing so it might render their own careers moribund.
And here is Ghostlight's exhilarating explanation of its name:
It is a long-time practice in the theatre that a ghost light -- a floor lamp holding a single bare light bulb -- be lit on stage after everyone has left for the night, so that the theatre never goes dark.
CULTURAL CONFIDENCE!
(Via the usual ArtsJournal.com)
Long-lost World War II sub likely found
That war never ends.
Somehow (and forgive me for typing this) it reminds me of what's sure to be the OS-CAR® winner for this year: Clint's PC double-take on the Asian theater. Our men fought and died so obstinate geniuses could play with themselves.
I mention this now to be prepared.
That war never ends.
Somehow (and forgive me for typing this) it reminds me of what's sure to be the OS-CAR® winner for this year: Clint's PC double-take on the Asian theater. Our men fought and died so obstinate geniuses could play with themselves.
I mention this now to be prepared.
The ups and downs of an -- INNOCENT MAN's life:
Former Enron Corp. President Jeffrey Skilling says he contemplated suicide after his company crumbled and authorities began to ratchet up legal pressure on him....
Skilling, 52, said he sought psychiatric help but was only able to emerge from a deep, two-year malaise after his 2004 indictment in which he was charged with conspiracy, fraud and insider trading, among other counts.
"The indictment, in a lot of ways, that was the turning point," Skilling told the newspaper. "That's when I started climbing back."
Climbing back to a life -- in PRISON.
Former Enron Corp. President Jeffrey Skilling says he contemplated suicide after his company crumbled and authorities began to ratchet up legal pressure on him....
Skilling, 52, said he sought psychiatric help but was only able to emerge from a deep, two-year malaise after his 2004 indictment in which he was charged with conspiracy, fraud and insider trading, among other counts.
"The indictment, in a lot of ways, that was the turning point," Skilling told the newspaper. "That's when I started climbing back."
Climbing back to a life -- in PRISON.
Nos. 11 and 12 on the BoxOfficeMojo chart say something. Here are films aimed at hard-core liberals, the kind of people who want freedom of speech for everyone save their enemies -- sorta like Garrison and Mr. Internet. Last week various parties tried to spin these into successes -- especially No. 11, which some clown (it may have been our favorite gossip writer Rog) proclaimed Bob Altman's biggest hit, whatever that means. Their failure would teach Hollywood that people are increasingly impatient with partisan political films (not just of the left, but it helps) except that the biz is doomed, like Sisyphus, keep on making movies no one wants to see. (And in the partisan list we include Garrison's, given some of his level-headed commentary -- just as given GE BANCORP and REALTY's marketing we must include THE CONSERVATIVES' 9-11 MOVIE, though that was mostly tempered by public enthusiasm for reliving it.)
By the way, isn't it time to send the LARRY KING OF FELINES to the Old Cats' Home?
By the way, isn't it time to send the LARRY KING OF FELINES to the Old Cats' Home?
In the upside-down wrong-is-right world of the TWXSTERS: an AOL "customer-service" rep hammerlocked a turnip, and the CFO had a -- "girlfriend."
The "customer-service" rep got fired.
We may wonder why the customer didn't hang up. We may wonder why the CFO didn't get another girlfriend -- or maybe just stick with his WIFE.
The "customer-service" rep got fired.
We may wonder why the customer didn't hang up. We may wonder why the CFO didn't get another girlfriend -- or maybe just stick with his WIFE.
MORE PROFUNDITY from the PAPER OF RE-CORD:
So Paul McCartney Is 64. Now What?
So we'll wait until He turns 65.
So Paul McCartney Is 64. Now What?
So we'll wait until He turns 65.
PROFUNDITY from the PAPER OF RE-CORD:
Contradictions Cloud Inquiry Into 24 Iraqi Deaths
How and why a deadly attack in Haditha, Iraq, occurred and who ultimately bears responsibility are matters of profound dispute.
You mean our EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL SOLDIERS didn't premeditate it?
Contradictions Cloud Inquiry Into 24 Iraqi Deaths
How and why a deadly attack in Haditha, Iraq, occurred and who ultimately bears responsibility are matters of profound dispute.
You mean our EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL SOLDIERS didn't premeditate it?
Friday, June 16, 2006
We wonder if Tiger made a mistake in honoring his father. We'd like to think he'd have said, "The way to honor me is to go out there and golf." Playing so badly does not honor him or his dad.
In a film where cars are the stars, capitalism, heterosexuality, and, yes, unrestricted energy consumption come away stronger for this excursion into car-crazed, drift-happy Japan. [TCS Daily home-page tease]
SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, ANOTHER CONSERVATIVE-PC MOVIE.
SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, ANOTHER CONSERVATIVE-PC MOVIE.
There is no doubt that history will judge Bill Gates' contribution as among the most significant of his era—as a technologist, a businessman, and a philanthropist. As of the summer of 2006 approaches, more than 61,000 people in 102 countries draw a paycheck from Microsoft. The company's software is used on somewhere between 900 million and a billion personal computers worldwide. Its success has tracked closely with the huge upsurge in computer use in the U.S. and around the world and in which more than a billion people now use the Internet. For better or worse, the role that Microsoft and Bill Gates played in such a vast societal change cannot be understated.
I can understate it. Bill Gates had nothing to do with BASIC, the core of every PC program until XP. He had nothing to do with Apple, which made the computer small; Steve was on magazine covers long before the Bugmeister. He had nothing to do with the increasing miniaturization that made 1TB hard drives and 8GB flash drives possible. He had nothing to do with the Internet in its early stage; Compuserve and Netscape were first; even the much-maligned AOL did more. He had nothing to do with the huge growth of bandwidth that put it in every home. He had nothing to do with bringing the PC into business; IBM and others got there first. He had nothing to do with search engines until he played a furious game of catch-up. No, Bill was bright, he was ruthless, he got lucky and drove that luck for all it was worth. A comparison with Edison is obvious: he invented the light bulb, the phonograph and the motion picture, three devices that lived on because of their simplicity. The Bugmeister created buggy bloated software only a vast team of Dilberts could tame, that will only live on in bigger, more bloated software; Vista is not a fait accompli, especially with the GOOG's quest for simplicity. Had Steve freed up his software as Bill Paley did the LP, perhaps we'd speak of that God in the same derisive tones. But complexity is why Bill's "legacy" will be subsumed in others', rendered obsolete by time and (one hopes) better technology.
I can understate it. Bill Gates had nothing to do with BASIC, the core of every PC program until XP. He had nothing to do with Apple, which made the computer small; Steve was on magazine covers long before the Bugmeister. He had nothing to do with the increasing miniaturization that made 1TB hard drives and 8GB flash drives possible. He had nothing to do with the Internet in its early stage; Compuserve and Netscape were first; even the much-maligned AOL did more. He had nothing to do with the huge growth of bandwidth that put it in every home. He had nothing to do with bringing the PC into business; IBM and others got there first. He had nothing to do with search engines until he played a furious game of catch-up. No, Bill was bright, he was ruthless, he got lucky and drove that luck for all it was worth. A comparison with Edison is obvious: he invented the light bulb, the phonograph and the motion picture, three devices that lived on because of their simplicity. The Bugmeister created buggy bloated software only a vast team of Dilberts could tame, that will only live on in bigger, more bloated software; Vista is not a fait accompli, especially with the GOOG's quest for simplicity. Had Steve freed up his software as Bill Paley did the LP, perhaps we'd speak of that God in the same derisive tones. But complexity is why Bill's "legacy" will be subsumed in others', rendered obsolete by time and (one hopes) better technology.
Why did the Lord God make women wiggle?
Warner looks left, looks right, looks toward '08
TRANSLATION: John Edwards without the POLYESTER HAIR!
TRANSLATION: John Edwards without the POLYESTER HAIR!
SKNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNX is in a SNIT:
Kansas City, Mo.: The local paper has started a new feature on the editorial page where they title columnists "From the Right" and "From the Left." They have you listed "From the Left." [Actually, it's "On the Left."] While I can see Michelle Malkin and Jonah Goldberg fitting the "From the Right," I guess I considered you "From the Left." Is this another attempt to label everything and everyone no matter what?
David S. Broder: I was not aware of the labeling. I resist being labeled, and I will so inform the Kansas City paper.
Where does Sominex fit?
Pardon, it has a label.
Kansas City, Mo.: The local paper has started a new feature on the editorial page where they title columnists "From the Right" and "From the Left." They have you listed "From the Left." [Actually, it's "On the Left."] While I can see Michelle Malkin and Jonah Goldberg fitting the "From the Right," I guess I considered you "From the Left." Is this another attempt to label everything and everyone no matter what?
David S. Broder: I was not aware of the labeling. I resist being labeled, and I will so inform the Kansas City paper.
Where does Sominex fit?
Pardon, it has a label.
Vt. has 1st death sentence in 50 years
?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
The last time a death sentence was issued in Vermont the year was 1957. The state abandoned the death penalty in the mid-1960s, although the law remained on the books for another 20 years. Vermont still does not have a state death penalty; federal prosecutors brought the charges against Fell because the killers had crossed state lines for a carjacking that results in a death. [Emphasis added.]
Vermont keeps its verginity.
?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
The last time a death sentence was issued in Vermont the year was 1957. The state abandoned the death penalty in the mid-1960s, although the law remained on the books for another 20 years. Vermont still does not have a state death penalty; federal prosecutors brought the charges against Fell because the killers had crossed state lines for a carjacking that results in a death. [Emphasis added.]
Vermont keeps its verginity.
153 Congresspoops put their feet where their big fat mouths are!
"The war in Iraq has been a mistake. I say, a grotesque mistake."
Minority Leader BABS is an argument for keeping Republicans in the majority, God knows they don't deserve it.
"The war in Iraq has been a mistake. I say, a grotesque mistake."
Minority Leader BABS is an argument for keeping Republicans in the majority, God knows they don't deserve it.
Now a foun-DA-tion descended from the original owners of the Baltimore Sun wants to buy the paper from TRIBCO.
Foundations, colleges, liberals, millionaires and BUMS taste alike to me.
You can bet if the MENCK came back to life he'd be hired and fired the same day.
Foundations, colleges, liberals, millionaires and BUMS taste alike to me.
You can bet if the MENCK came back to life he'd be hired and fired the same day.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Larry Kudlow's SUPERHERO's doin' what comes naturally:
Reports: Grasso Pleads The 5th Over 150 Times
Let's be very clear about this: Grasso has done nothing wrong....Grasso did not fraudulently cook the books, steal from the corporate cookie jar, lie to federal prosecutors, or engage in insider trading.
Among the questions Grasso refused to answer were: how he learned that the NYSE was investigating specialists; whether he witnessed any specialists' wrongdoing; and whether the exchange ever considered relaxing its policing of trading.
Sure Lar, SURE.
Reports: Grasso Pleads The 5th Over 150 Times
Let's be very clear about this: Grasso has done nothing wrong....Grasso did not fraudulently cook the books, steal from the corporate cookie jar, lie to federal prosecutors, or engage in insider trading.
Among the questions Grasso refused to answer were: how he learned that the NYSE was investigating specialists; whether he witnessed any specialists' wrongdoing; and whether the exchange ever considered relaxing its policing of trading.
Sure Lar, SURE.
It is sometimes charged that journalism, which considers the phrase "good news" an oxymoron ("We don't report the planes that land safely"), is missing the good news from Iraq. But so pervasive is the violence, and hence so dangerous has Iraq become for journalists, that the Wall Street Journal, hardly a hostile observer of the U.S. undertaking in Iraq, thinks the bad news might be underreported.
And how would Mr. My Business is My Business know, reporting from such Iraqi flashpoints as the WaPost luxury news suites and the Michelin-three-star studios of ESPNCorp Network News?
We would like to think things in Iraq can go better. I've said it before: we cannot trust either side because the right wears a smiley face and the left wears a malevolent smirk. But how can we trust NEWS HACKS when so many report from afar? And can't pundits take an occasional break from punditing? Or is it an obsession, like the related neurosis of blogging?
And how would Mr. My Business is My Business know, reporting from such Iraqi flashpoints as the WaPost luxury news suites and the Michelin-three-star studios of ESPNCorp Network News?
We would like to think things in Iraq can go better. I've said it before: we cannot trust either side because the right wears a smiley face and the left wears a malevolent smirk. But how can we trust NEWS HACKS when so many report from afar? And can't pundits take an occasional break from punditing? Or is it an obsession, like the related neurosis of blogging?
And how relevant is the recorded-sound biz? I just learned Billboard has 112 CHARTS -- including a SOUNDTRACK chart.
CAST ALBUM!!!!!
CAST ALBUM!!!!!
THE CORNER is transitioning into a SCI-FI-GEEK ZONE.
Hey JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-nah!!!!!! KKKKKKKKKKKKK-LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! How does it help the cause of con-SER-va-tism to be spending all day debating Buck Rogers?
Hey JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-nah!!!!!! KKKKKKKKKKKKK-LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! How does it help the cause of con-SER-va-tism to be spending all day debating Buck Rogers?
The cost of ¢hump ¢hange finally got a little higher for broad¢a$ter$.
Here's betting it's just so many dollars over the dam.
Here's betting it's just so many dollars over the dam.
PROFILE IN COURAGE: Democrats vote down a measure to get us outoutOUT of Iraq!
Okay, it was a cheap GOP stunt; but outoutOUT is a cheap Democratic stunt.
The six "no" votes were cast by Senators Kerry and Edward M. Kennedy, also of Massachusetts; Russell D. Feingold of Wisconsin, Barbara Boxer of California, Tom Harkin of Iowa and Robert C. Byrd of West Virginia, all Democrats.
At least THEY had the guts to wear their disdain for America on their sleeves.
Okay, it was a cheap GOP stunt; but outoutOUT is a cheap Democratic stunt.
The six "no" votes were cast by Senators Kerry and Edward M. Kennedy, also of Massachusetts; Russell D. Feingold of Wisconsin, Barbara Boxer of California, Tom Harkin of Iowa and Robert C. Byrd of West Virginia, all Democrats.
At least THEY had the guts to wear their disdain for America on their sleeves.
Ho-hum, the Bugmeister is "stepping down." There are so many ways to interpret this I don't know the right one. Maybe he's leaving for the putative purpose of running his foundation. Maybe he's finally decided he's rich enough. Maybe he's decided he's no longer indispensible. Maybe he's conceding the race to G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE. (If so that's BAD news -- for Bill AND us.) It does seem odd: he has his best CEOing years ahead of him.
One thing should be fun: the "fight" for his job.
He's still chairman too, so he may be retiring the way SUMNER always is.
And it's two years, plenty of time for him to change his mind.
``The world has had a tendency to focus a disproportionate amount of attention on me,'' Gates said.
NO COMMENT.
P. S. At Slashdot, the needling -- begins:
He's going to stay chairman.
He's replacing Ballmer!?!? O.o
July 2008 - is that before or after Vista ships?
Bill Gates' tombstone will read
This man has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down
Alas:
Let's see:
Gates - creates world's most successful company, becomes world's richest man, leaves day job to spend billions on charity.
Us - Made lame borg jokes for 5 years, finally released a browser that's better than IE if you ignore all the unfixed copy/paste bugs. Convinced a few people that Unix sucked less than Windows.
Dude, I think *he* won.
P. P. S. When does his Bridge Partner step down?
One thing should be fun: the "fight" for his job.
He's still chairman too, so he may be retiring the way SUMNER always is.
And it's two years, plenty of time for him to change his mind.
``The world has had a tendency to focus a disproportionate amount of attention on me,'' Gates said.
NO COMMENT.
P. S. At Slashdot, the needling -- begins:
He's going to stay chairman.
He's replacing Ballmer!?!? O.o
July 2008 - is that before or after Vista ships?
Bill Gates' tombstone will read
This man has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down
Alas:
Let's see:
Gates - creates world's most successful company, becomes world's richest man, leaves day job to spend billions on charity.
Us - Made lame borg jokes for 5 years, finally released a browser that's better than IE if you ignore all the unfixed copy/paste bugs. Convinced a few people that Unix sucked less than Windows.
Dude, I think *he* won.
P. P. S. When does his Bridge Partner step down?
If Ronny McDonny is so hip -- that's his middle name -- and if he's turning his slopatoriums into Starbucks', why does he still distribute coupons the horse-and-buggy way -- via NEWSPAPERS?
And if the Inventor of the Web runs for president (and here's predicting if he runs, he wins the nomination -- because so many feel so sorry for him), will he tell theTRUTH? Will he be man enough to level with us and say what sacrifices his environmental utopia will entail? Chances are he'll roll his eyes, and SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, and tell anUNTRUTH. AlGORE still has a chance to be honest and honorable, however infinitessimal; but that chance gets infinitessimaler when you tell theTRUTH.
See theTRUTH. See only ONEtruth. See only theTRUTH you want to see. See only theTRUTH we WANT you to see. Anything else is NOTtruth. Any other truth teller is NOTtruthful.
What hubris.
Hey St. Warren! Love that URL! Who says SYNERGY is dead? And we got this from Stale.com!
Are You up to something?
OOOOOoooooh, R. Emmett turns on his creation Newt! He calls him "THE BOY SPEAKER!"
Em, you should have thought of that the moment you first swooned to his Dennis-the-Menace whine.
Em, you should have thought of that the moment you first swooned to his Dennis-the-Menace whine.
Speaking of giants, HHHWWWALTER CRRRONKITE JR.'s determined to get himself fired, and we would say he's near that highly desirable goal but that the beancounters who are cable-channel presidents mistake tantrums for controversy.
Dan Blather's determined to hold on to his job -- first by his arms, then by his wrists, then his hands than his fingers, then his fingertips, then his fingernails. Now Jim McKay's son has come to wrench them away. This is surely not the way THE CONSCIENCE OF TV NEWS wanted it to end -- not in a WITCHHUNT by the EXTREME RIGHT, and the sneers of his fellow zillionaires. Yes, Dan Blather is determined -- and that's why he's a zero.
"Anchoring, to some degree, is misunderstood and overrated by people from the outside," says Rather. "When you're the anchor and managing editor of CBS Evening News, you're the face of CBS News. It is a leadership role...."
This is also why Dan will be out of a job in November: he takes it SERIOUSLY.
"Anchoring, to some degree, is misunderstood and overrated by people from the outside," says Rather. "When you're the anchor and managing editor of CBS Evening News, you're the face of CBS News. It is a leadership role...."
This is also why Dan will be out of a job in November: he takes it SERIOUSLY.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
And a new AudioAnimatronics presentation in BRANSON EAST:
Stage and screen legend Judy Garland fills Carnegie Hall anew as singer-songwriter Rufus Wainwright performs her celebrated 1961 concert at the same venue, with the help of Sam Mendes and Stephen Oremus.
Musical director Oremus, of Broadway’s Wicked, Avenue Q and All Shook Up [!!!!!!!!!! --ED.], has worked with the singer to bring the show back to life in its entirety, June 14 and 15 at Carnegie's Isaac Stern Auditorium. Jared Geller and David J. Foster produce. Mendes (Cabaret, Gypsy) is also involved with the event.
Complete with a 40-piece orchestra, Wainwright recreates the original April 23, 1961, concert she performed at the height of her late career. "The greatest single night in show business,” as it was called, featured Garland singing 26 standards, show stoppers and songs from her films. Wainwright performs his own interpretations of the songs — not mimicking Garland — over the same orchestrations.
1. Rufus Who? 2. Shouldn't it AT LEAST have a female impersonator?
BRING BACK SUZANNE SOMERS!
Stage and screen legend Judy Garland fills Carnegie Hall anew as singer-songwriter Rufus Wainwright performs her celebrated 1961 concert at the same venue, with the help of Sam Mendes and Stephen Oremus.
Musical director Oremus, of Broadway’s Wicked, Avenue Q and All Shook Up [!!!!!!!!!! --ED.], has worked with the singer to bring the show back to life in its entirety, June 14 and 15 at Carnegie's Isaac Stern Auditorium. Jared Geller and David J. Foster produce. Mendes (Cabaret, Gypsy) is also involved with the event.
Complete with a 40-piece orchestra, Wainwright recreates the original April 23, 1961, concert she performed at the height of her late career. "The greatest single night in show business,” as it was called, featured Garland singing 26 standards, show stoppers and songs from her films. Wainwright performs his own interpretations of the songs — not mimicking Garland — over the same orchestrations.
1. Rufus Who? 2. Shouldn't it AT LEAST have a female impersonator?
BRING BACK SUZANNE SOMERS!
G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE must have acquired Ping-o-matic; it doesn't work either.
And why do the words G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE and SECRET INCREASINGLY GO TOGETHER?
And why do the words G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE and SECRET INCREASINGLY GO TOGETHER?
So much for RowlingCorp:
Study Finds Large Decline in Reading in Older Kids
And this survey was conducted by Scholastic Inc.
Study Finds Large Decline in Reading in Older Kids
And this survey was conducted by Scholastic Inc.
Hours after cash-starved civil servants stormed parliament, the Palestinian foreign minister returned Wednesday from a trip to Muslim nations with $20 million in a suitcase, a sign of Hamas' desperation for money in the face of a Western boycott.
How apt; Yassir knew all about money and suitcases.
How apt; Yassir knew all about money and suitcases.
BizWeek.com has just become another Web site that's "improved" itself.
Most sites that "improve" themselves need Web sites to instruct the surfers how to use them.
(Via IWantMedia.com)
Most sites that "improve" themselves need Web sites to instruct the surfers how to use them.
(Via IWantMedia.com)
And why, from the same stands that emit LOUD CHEERS for SHOW-BIZ, do we hear a ROARING BOO for our effort in Iraq?
(Via Town Hall)
(Via Town Hall)
The creators of THE GREATEST MUSICAL OF ALL TIME (and POSSIBLY THE GREATEST MOVIE MUSICAL OF ALL TIME) are about to create ANOTHER GREATEST MUSICAL OF ALL TIME!
When will Branson East's ad-blurbists start to tire of high-school talent shows?
The public? NEVER.
When will Branson East's ad-blurbists start to tire of high-school talent shows?
The public? NEVER.
Now a bunch of SuperBabbitts wants to buy the LALA Times: Ron Burkle (he MUST have a compulsion to tell people how to think), Peter "Retton" Ueberroth and the home builder Eli Broad. Really, wouldn't they be better of putting the money in, say, precious metals? But no, it feels good to lose money ruling the world.
Better still: couldn't they just blog?
Better still: couldn't they just blog?
Separate facilities for Muslim women -- a state-sanctioned sharia banking system in England (VERY courageous, Tony) -- no, I don't think we're giving in to anybody.
Today, Flag Day, seems a fine time to look at Old Glory -- to just plain look , for a minute, without thinking at all about its history or what it represents -- and admire its strangeness.
And it must be especially strange at WaPost HQ, where every morning a group of fervid employees raises a flag -- with the likeness of ST. WARREN on it, backed by a field of gold dollar signs.
And it must be especially strange at WaPost HQ, where every morning a group of fervid employees raises a flag -- with the likeness of ST. WARREN on it, backed by a field of gold dollar signs.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
AP: Patrick Kennedy pleads guilty to DUI
Really he and pops should plead to GUI -- governing under the influence.
Really he and pops should plead to GUI -- governing under the influence.
The ASSociated Press flashes us ANOTHER BREAKING NEWS BULL-ETIN:
NEW YORK -- When Esquire asked a panel of men whom they'd invite from a list of 14 notable women to a dinner party, they chose Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice over such stars as Oprah Winfrey, Angelina Jolie, Julia Roberts and Jennifer Aniston.
Asked which famous man they'd invite to dinner, respondents favored Jay Leno ahead of Bill Clinton, George Clooney and President Bush in results reported in the magazine's July issue. The survey of 1,083 men age 25 and up was conducted online in March by Beta Research Corp.
We suspect the Secretary is the only woman on that list capable of an intelligent conversation. As for the men, there's no accounting for taste, but taste and Esquire aren't exactly friends.
NEW YORK -- When Esquire asked a panel of men whom they'd invite from a list of 14 notable women to a dinner party, they chose Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice over such stars as Oprah Winfrey, Angelina Jolie, Julia Roberts and Jennifer Aniston.
Asked which famous man they'd invite to dinner, respondents favored Jay Leno ahead of Bill Clinton, George Clooney and President Bush in results reported in the magazine's July issue. The survey of 1,083 men age 25 and up was conducted online in March by Beta Research Corp.
We suspect the Secretary is the only woman on that list capable of an intelligent conversation. As for the men, there's no accounting for taste, but taste and Esquire aren't exactly friends.
Is Film Remake of Gypsy — with Catherine Zeta-Jones — in the Works?
BAD, BAD, BAD. She's too young, she doesn't have the voice, she doesn't have the personality. This would be Roz Russell redux. Where do people get the idea they can make film musicals, especially in this CGI age? Didn't we just have two duds around Christmas?
This comes from the notorious Liz Smith, who has a vested interest in everything she sells.
BAD, BAD, BAD. She's too young, she doesn't have the voice, she doesn't have the personality. This would be Roz Russell redux. Where do people get the idea they can make film musicals, especially in this CGI age? Didn't we just have two duds around Christmas?
This comes from the notorious Liz Smith, who has a vested interest in everything she sells.
A new law to deter American consumers from seeking bankruptcy protection made filings plunge to a 20-year low in the first-quarter of 2006, but a rapid rise in new cases since then raises questions about whether the law is working as expected.
The best-laid plans of mice and CONGRESSPOOPS....
The best-laid plans of mice and CONGRESSPOOPS....
Hey Recorded Sound Conspiracy! I wouldn't beam that broadly. This merely means your conspiracy is expectorating fewer masterworks worthy of download -- and that people are now turning on the other CONSPIRACY because they now have broadband connections.
Monday, June 12, 2006
But for Tim Blair I would never have heard of the Electrical Apparatus Service Association. The Blogosphere salutes you!
(Via the usual JO-nah)
(Via the usual JO-nah)
Today I came across some revolting gush in PC Magazine detailing the megacomputers that now substitute for movie directors, and I thought, this business should go to a place that would make Hell look like a sanctuary.
Yesterday I mentioned jazz. Today Terry Teachout tells us that Richard Sudhalter, the distinguished jazz writer, performer and Bixologist, whose intelligent booklet notes have graced many albums, is gravely ill, and his friends are organizing a fundraiser. I wish I had five bucks to spend on this. The mention of Bix led me (again) to RedHotJazz, to hear Paul Whiteman's band play on an indifferently transferred file of an alternate take of the strange and sublime "Washboard Blues", with Bix' eternal friend Hoagy (Whiteman reserved Bing Crosby as insurance in case he didn't work out; it wasn't necessary), and the Dorsey brothers in the complement; and from there to the Bix site, to a discography, and to learn that Whiteman's majestic premiere recording of Gershwin's Concerto in F (remastered for a now-discontinued Sony anthology; those dolts don't know music from ROOTKITS) took at least an astonishing 34 takes over three sessions to commit to six 78-rpm sides, and that Bix and Frank Trumbauer were there -- as was Lennie Hayton, now best known as an MGM arranger, on cello -- as was Gershwin on the last session. (The omni-lingual liner text doesn't mention this.) Forgive this discursive sentence, but we would not know these facts without people who loved this grand music. It is a great tragedy that jazz is but a carcass, a teeming preserve of scholars and scholars only, but if we are to have jazz scholars, let them all be Richard Sudhalters.
Still MORE excellence from Der Homelanders:
The Department of Homeland Security allowed a man to enter its headquarters last week using a fake Matricula Consular card as identification, despite federal rules that say the Mexican-issued card is not valid ID at government buildings.
Isn't Dubya carrying this amnesty shtick a bit too far?
Bruce DeCell, a retired New York City police officer, used his phony card -- which lists his place of birth as "Tijuana, B.C." and his address as "123 Fraud Blvd." on an incorrectly spelled "Staton Island, N.Y." -- to enter the building Wednesday for a meeting with DHS officials.
Mr. DeCell said he has had the card for four years and has used it again and again to board airliners and enter government buildings, without being turned down once. But he said he was surprised that DHS, the agency in charge of determining secure IDs, accepted it.
"Obviously, it's not working," Mr. DeCell said.
Obviously.
The Department of Homeland Security allowed a man to enter its headquarters last week using a fake Matricula Consular card as identification, despite federal rules that say the Mexican-issued card is not valid ID at government buildings.
Isn't Dubya carrying this amnesty shtick a bit too far?
Bruce DeCell, a retired New York City police officer, used his phony card -- which lists his place of birth as "Tijuana, B.C." and his address as "123 Fraud Blvd." on an incorrectly spelled "Staton Island, N.Y." -- to enter the building Wednesday for a meeting with DHS officials.
Mr. DeCell said he has had the card for four years and has used it again and again to board airliners and enter government buildings, without being turned down once. But he said he was surprised that DHS, the agency in charge of determining secure IDs, accepted it.
"Obviously, it's not working," Mr. DeCell said.
Obviously.
More excellence from Der Homelanders:
A food writer's bag containing recording equipment, honey, an oyster shell and seasoning rub was blamed for three-hour shutdown and evacuation of the Tallahassee's airport Monday, authorities said.
A food writer's bag containing recording equipment, honey, an oyster shell and seasoning rub was blamed for three-hour shutdown and evacuation of the Tallahassee's airport Monday, authorities said.
In the guise of making a "movie", Woodster the Perv's been ogling another new girlfriend.
We may wonder how many student jernalists work in bathing suits. We may also wonder how immortal seventy-something movie makers would look in a bikini.
We may wonder how many student jernalists work in bathing suits. We may also wonder how immortal seventy-something movie makers would look in a bikini.
I suppose this is the future of caricature, and I'll confess I'm amused by it; but who needs Hirschfelds when we have computers?
I'm depressed.
Looks like America's relaxin' about violent crime again.
Fox cautioned against reading too much into year-to-year changes in individual cities, saying some differences result from random variation and marked swings the previous year. Also, some large statistical increases result from some small numerical changes.
In Hartford, Conn. for example, murders jumped more than 50 percent, from 16 to 25.
It doesn't look so small if you live in Hartford, Conn.
Fox cautioned against reading too much into year-to-year changes in individual cities, saying some differences result from random variation and marked swings the previous year. Also, some large statistical increases result from some small numerical changes.
In Hartford, Conn. for example, murders jumped more than 50 percent, from 16 to 25.
It doesn't look so small if you live in Hartford, Conn.
All that weightlifting and STILL movie attendance is up only ONE PERCENT so far this year.
No wonder ESPNCorp got hammered.
No wonder ESPNCorp got hammered.
One wonders if con-SER-va-tives are going to get in a TIZ because THEIR chief justice organized a unanimous review of lethal injection. But let us say this: the same science that shows that “fetuses” undergo pain in abortions can show if prisoners undergo unneeded pain in execution -- another reason to limit capital punishment to mass murder, treason and political assassination.
Dems slipping in state races
Somebody CALL KOS OFF!
Pffh-hh-hh!
My prediction: the Grungy Ossified Party keeps the Senate, and barely the House -- and whoever's margin there will be less than the number of years in DUKE'S SENTENCE.
Somebody CALL KOS OFF!
Pffh-hh-hh!
My prediction: the Grungy Ossified Party keeps the Senate, and barely the House -- and whoever's margin there will be less than the number of years in DUKE'S SENTENCE.
Show Boat...Oklahoma!...My Fair Lady....
A jukebox show wins the award for Branson East's Best Tourist Trap.
We are not surprised. First off it's doing better business; and second, the other show had chiefly insider admirers and an atomically thin score. Such is our age's genius, however, that we are faced with two tourist traps, one an Audioanimatronics production, the other a glorified TV variety show. Such is our age's genius, and there will be more of it.
There can be no doubt now -- what Branson East does is NOT aht.
A jukebox show wins the award for Branson East's Best Tourist Trap.
We are not surprised. First off it's doing better business; and second, the other show had chiefly insider admirers and an atomically thin score. Such is our age's genius, however, that we are faced with two tourist traps, one an Audioanimatronics production, the other a glorified TV variety show. Such is our age's genius, and there will be more of it.
There can be no doubt now -- what Branson East does is NOT aht.
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Blogger Ana Marie Cox said that the bloggers' convention has almost become like the Iowa caucuses in terms of its importance to presidential contenders. [Video sidebar]
TRANSLATION: I LOVE ME! I REALLY LOVE ME!!
TRANSLATION: I LOVE ME! I REALLY LOVE ME!!
Iran rejects conditions for nuclear talks
Will the NEW! IMPROVED! DUBYA go along with that condition?
Will the NEW! IMPROVED! DUBYA go along with that condition?
Humphrey Burton tells us that not long after Leonard Bernstein made his epochal debut as a substitute conductor back in 1943, he and his sister attended a party thrown by the columnist Leonard Lyons, in which they "encountered, among others, Ethel Barrymore, Bernard Baruch, Charles Boyer, Joe DiMaggio, Moss Hart, Garson Kanin, Frank Loesser, Ezio Pinza and John Steinbeck." Assuming a Leonard Bernstein could do the same thing today (highly unlikely), who would he encounter? Well, since we're in an age of musical GENIUS (a big reason such a landmark debut is highly unlikely), he might encounter, if we go by the latest Billboard Top 100, Shakira, Chamillionaire, Nelly Furtado, Young Joc and Daniel Powter! (What a great name for a droner.) We see a novelist in the mix -- how about that pretentious old logroller and would-be Nobel winner John Updike? Or the even older bloviator Norm Mailer? Or maybe someone on the Publishers Weekly list, like -- Dean Koontz! And since we have a ballplayer in there, why not -- Barry Bonds*! Actors? Well certainly BRANGELINA would fit the bill -- and if they're unavailable there's always Jessica Simpson, or THE SON OF GOD. Frank Loesser? How about the anonymous songwriters of that Branson East success d'estime about a chaperone? Opera stars -- can you think of one who isn't dead or retired? Or playwrights? And President Gore or Dr. Wimp can sub for Barney Baruch. All-around GENIUS.
Recently Terry Teachout, who's writing a biography of Satchmo, was in his archive at CUNY's Queens College:
I spent the whole day going through three of Louis Armstrong’s scrapbooks. He started keeping them in the late Twenties, right around the time that his career was taking off. They’re a mixture of snapshots and newspaper and magazine clippings, and anyone with the slightest interest in his life and work would find them fascinating. I effortlessly uncovered one nugget after another, including his first appearances in Walter Winchell’s column and The New Yorker....Though constant use has drained the word awesome of much of its meaning, I don’t know any other way to describe what it feels like to turn the crumbling pages of the personal scrapbooks of the greatest of all jazz musicians.
It's a sad commentary on the BRILLIANCE of our time that a biographer who only knows Satch through his recordings can be excited going through his papers, especially when there is not one person in the music who can even elicit a yawn -- the last funeral ode for jazz. And then we note Walter Winchell's name. Winchell knew everyone worth knowing -- in those days quite a few. We can imagine what prompted Winchell to tout Satch in his column; we can imagine what prompted Satch to save copies in his files. Today we have THE SPYWARE COWBOY, whose only use is spreading pop-up ads, selling rotten movies, and telling fibs. Just the difference between Winchell and his tenth-rate imitator should tell us what kind of cultural rattletrap we schlep in. These days Winchell would give up his column after a week, or become a blogger.
We're don't mean to praise Winchell; it goes without saying he was not a nice man. But why must it go without saying that we're in an age of cultural dross?
Recently Terry Teachout, who's writing a biography of Satchmo, was in his archive at CUNY's Queens College:
I spent the whole day going through three of Louis Armstrong’s scrapbooks. He started keeping them in the late Twenties, right around the time that his career was taking off. They’re a mixture of snapshots and newspaper and magazine clippings, and anyone with the slightest interest in his life and work would find them fascinating. I effortlessly uncovered one nugget after another, including his first appearances in Walter Winchell’s column and The New Yorker....Though constant use has drained the word awesome of much of its meaning, I don’t know any other way to describe what it feels like to turn the crumbling pages of the personal scrapbooks of the greatest of all jazz musicians.
It's a sad commentary on the BRILLIANCE of our time that a biographer who only knows Satch through his recordings can be excited going through his papers, especially when there is not one person in the music who can even elicit a yawn -- the last funeral ode for jazz. And then we note Walter Winchell's name. Winchell knew everyone worth knowing -- in those days quite a few. We can imagine what prompted Winchell to tout Satch in his column; we can imagine what prompted Satch to save copies in his files. Today we have THE SPYWARE COWBOY, whose only use is spreading pop-up ads, selling rotten movies, and telling fibs. Just the difference between Winchell and his tenth-rate imitator should tell us what kind of cultural rattletrap we schlep in. These days Winchell would give up his column after a week, or become a blogger.
We're don't mean to praise Winchell; it goes without saying he was not a nice man. But why must it go without saying that we're in an age of cultural dross?
KNIGHTRIDDER may be gone...
Cheesesteak impresario Joey Vento is more than ready for his close-up.
The brash owner of Geno's Steaks has sparked new controversy after two weeks of nearly nonstop national attention for signs posted near his take-out window that declare: "This is AMERICA. WHEN ORDERING, 'SPEAK ENGLISH.' "
Vento, 66, grinned his way through a five-minute segment Friday on ABC's Good Morning America. Since The Inquirer first reported on his signs two weeks ago, he has appeared left and right - though, politically, always the latter - on the Web, TV and talk radio as a proud, tattooed advocate of English only for the nation's immigrants.
Not everyone thinks he is a star, however.
A city agency charged with investigating discrimination plans to file a complaint Monday that questions the legality of the signs, which Vento has said are directed at the Mexican immigrants in Geno's South Philadelphia neighborhood. [FRONT-PAGE story]
...but KNIGHTRIDDER lives on.
Hey guys! Good luck with the purchase! Hope you have trouble paying off all that DEBT!
Cheesesteak impresario Joey Vento is more than ready for his close-up.
The brash owner of Geno's Steaks has sparked new controversy after two weeks of nearly nonstop national attention for signs posted near his take-out window that declare: "This is AMERICA. WHEN ORDERING, 'SPEAK ENGLISH.' "
Vento, 66, grinned his way through a five-minute segment Friday on ABC's Good Morning America. Since The Inquirer first reported on his signs two weeks ago, he has appeared left and right - though, politically, always the latter - on the Web, TV and talk radio as a proud, tattooed advocate of English only for the nation's immigrants.
Not everyone thinks he is a star, however.
A city agency charged with investigating discrimination plans to file a complaint Monday that questions the legality of the signs, which Vento has said are directed at the Mexican immigrants in Geno's South Philadelphia neighborhood. [FRONT-PAGE story]
...but KNIGHTRIDDER lives on.
Hey guys! Good luck with the purchase! Hope you have trouble paying off all that DEBT!
Branson East hands out its award for Best Tourist Trap tonight, and...
The evening will turn out to be a showdown between tunes from a scratchy 1920s record versus a jukebox musical about the 1960s.
Soundzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzs exzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzciting!
The evening will turn out to be a showdown between tunes from a scratchy 1920s record versus a jukebox musical about the 1960s.
Soundzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzs exzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzciting!
• Zakaria: Hopeful Signs in Iraq [Home-page tease]
?!?!?!?
Let's hope this isn't the usual newsrag jinx.
?!?!?!?
Let's hope this isn't the usual newsrag jinx.
Shucks, I guess you-know-who's next week.