THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
Blogroll Me!
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Saturday, December 12, 2009
And I've come to realize why SARAH!!!!! is popular among a lesser breed of con-SER-va-tives: her life is one long HI MOM! moment.
And she's the MOM.
And she's the MOM.
When America elected His Omnipotence it thought it was spitting at Dubya. Little did it notice the stiff wind.
And from a leading source of gas emissions:
Obama's Nobel Speech: Sophisticated and Brave
Ted Widmer, a former speechwriter for President Clinton....
Slick, 4,119 WORDS, sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
Obama's Nobel Speech: Sophisticated and Brave
Ted Widmer, a former speechwriter for President Clinton....
Slick, 4,119 WORDS, sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
As we promised, we are going word-by-word through the speech NEWT and SARAH!!!!! and MR. NEOCON called the bee's knees. Already we came across this gem in the third graf:
Compared to some of the giants of history who have received this prize — Schweitzer and King; Marshall and Mandela — my accomplishments are slight.
With this clunky verbiage Om's 200 ghostwriters vaguely imply He's a giant of history too.
The other is a conflict that America did not seek; one in which we are joined by 43 other countries — including Norway — in an effort to defend ourselves and all nations from further attacks.
Attacks from whom? Ah, but you know the answer: attacks from people we can't mention because they're politically correct.
The Cold War ended with jubilant crowds dismantling a wall.
What wall? Whose wall?
For make no mistake: Evil does exist in the world.
Combined with His daring use of the T-word this sentence explains why NEWT and SARAH!!!!! and MR. NEOCON went bonkers. He used a word Dubya used. And that word alone justifies praise, never mind the verbal miasma shrouding it.
The United States of America has helped underwrite global security for more than six decades with the blood of our citizens and the strength of our arms. The service and sacrifice of our men and women in uniform has promoted peace and prosperity from Germany to Korea, and enabled democracy to take hold in places like the Balkans. We have borne this burden not because we seek to impose our will. We have done so out of enlightened self-interest — because we seek a better future for our children and grandchildren, and we believe that their lives will be better if other people's children and grandchildren can live in freedom and prosperity.
I'm supposed to be impressed He can deliver a speech to the American Legion?
Where force is necessary, we have a moral and strategic interest in binding ourselves to certain rules of conduct. And even as we confront a vicious adversary that abides by no rules, I believe that the United States of America must remain a standard bearer in the conduct of war. That is what makes us different from those whom we fight. That is a source of our strength. That is why I prohibited torture. That is why I ordered the prison at Guantanamo Bay closed. And that is why I have reaffirmed America's commitment to abide by the Geneva Conventions.
Om really deked out the three stooges here, but that's what won Him the accession -- once upon a time He could be right and left.
[I]n dealing with those nations that break rules and laws, I believe that we must develop alternatives to violence that are tough enough to change behavior — for if we want a lasting peace, then the words of the international community must mean something. Those regimes that break the rules must be held accountable. Sanctions must exact a real price. Intransigence must be met with increased pressure — and such pressure exists only when the world stands together as one.
The three stooges seem not to have noticed this word cloud, a platitude to cover for the worrrrrrrruld community's manifold sins of appeasement. Nor did they notice this eloquent turn of phrase:
But it is also incumbent upon all of us to insist that nations like Iran and North Korea do not game the system. Those who claim to respect international law cannot avert their eyes when those laws are flouted. Those who care for their own security cannot ignore the danger of an arms race in the Middle East or East Asia. Those who seek peace cannot stand idly by as nations arm themselves for nuclear war.
And as OM's 200 ghostwriters know averting the eyes and standing idly by has been the worrrrrrrrrruld community's response lo these last half-dozen years. But He did say "evil"!
The same principle applies to those who violate international law by brutalizing their own people. When there is genocide in Darfur, systematic rape in Congo or repression in Burma — there must be consequences.
Consequences -- of more talk.
Let me also say this: The promotion of human rights cannot be about exhortation alone. At times, it must be coupled with painstaking diplomacy.
So THAT's why Hillary's kept silent!
In light of the Cultural Revolution's horrors, Nixon's meeting with Mao appeared inexcusable — and yet it surely helped set China on a path where millions of its citizens have been lifted from poverty, and connected to open societies.
No, NO, I CAN'T mention a seven-letter formerly hyphenated word that begins with the letter W.
Most dangerously, we see it in the way that religion is used to justify the murder of innocents by those who have distorted and defiled the great religion of Islam, and who attacked my country from Afghanistan.
Oh, so He DID mention the I word. Although He might have been more correct to say they attacked our country from Saudi Arabia and Pakistan too.
We can understand that there will be war, and still strive for peace. We can do that — for that is the story of human progress; that is the hope of all the world; and at this moment of challenge, that must be our work here on Earth.
Ta-DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! Speech over.
And so I have read, or tried to read, all 4,119 WORDS, unlike NEWT and SARAH!!!!! and MR. NEOCON, who watched and heard the majestic burble too comfortably from the CABLE NUISANCE NETWORK or the MESS or whatever luxury suite they inhabited, and by hearing ten words were able to convince themselves that here was a fellow con-SER-va-tive, when all the world witnessed was another gas emission. But gas smells sweet when it makes history.
Compared to some of the giants of history who have received this prize — Schweitzer and King; Marshall and Mandela — my accomplishments are slight.
With this clunky verbiage Om's 200 ghostwriters vaguely imply He's a giant of history too.
The other is a conflict that America did not seek; one in which we are joined by 43 other countries — including Norway — in an effort to defend ourselves and all nations from further attacks.
Attacks from whom? Ah, but you know the answer: attacks from people we can't mention because they're politically correct.
The Cold War ended with jubilant crowds dismantling a wall.
What wall? Whose wall?
For make no mistake: Evil does exist in the world.
Combined with His daring use of the T-word this sentence explains why NEWT and SARAH!!!!! and MR. NEOCON went bonkers. He used a word Dubya used. And that word alone justifies praise, never mind the verbal miasma shrouding it.
The United States of America has helped underwrite global security for more than six decades with the blood of our citizens and the strength of our arms. The service and sacrifice of our men and women in uniform has promoted peace and prosperity from Germany to Korea, and enabled democracy to take hold in places like the Balkans. We have borne this burden not because we seek to impose our will. We have done so out of enlightened self-interest — because we seek a better future for our children and grandchildren, and we believe that their lives will be better if other people's children and grandchildren can live in freedom and prosperity.
I'm supposed to be impressed He can deliver a speech to the American Legion?
Where force is necessary, we have a moral and strategic interest in binding ourselves to certain rules of conduct. And even as we confront a vicious adversary that abides by no rules, I believe that the United States of America must remain a standard bearer in the conduct of war. That is what makes us different from those whom we fight. That is a source of our strength. That is why I prohibited torture. That is why I ordered the prison at Guantanamo Bay closed. And that is why I have reaffirmed America's commitment to abide by the Geneva Conventions.
Om really deked out the three stooges here, but that's what won Him the accession -- once upon a time He could be right and left.
[I]n dealing with those nations that break rules and laws, I believe that we must develop alternatives to violence that are tough enough to change behavior — for if we want a lasting peace, then the words of the international community must mean something. Those regimes that break the rules must be held accountable. Sanctions must exact a real price. Intransigence must be met with increased pressure — and such pressure exists only when the world stands together as one.
The three stooges seem not to have noticed this word cloud, a platitude to cover for the worrrrrrrruld community's manifold sins of appeasement. Nor did they notice this eloquent turn of phrase:
But it is also incumbent upon all of us to insist that nations like Iran and North Korea do not game the system. Those who claim to respect international law cannot avert their eyes when those laws are flouted. Those who care for their own security cannot ignore the danger of an arms race in the Middle East or East Asia. Those who seek peace cannot stand idly by as nations arm themselves for nuclear war.
And as OM's 200 ghostwriters know averting the eyes and standing idly by has been the worrrrrrrrrruld community's response lo these last half-dozen years. But He did say "evil"!
The same principle applies to those who violate international law by brutalizing their own people. When there is genocide in Darfur, systematic rape in Congo or repression in Burma — there must be consequences.
Consequences -- of more talk.
Let me also say this: The promotion of human rights cannot be about exhortation alone. At times, it must be coupled with painstaking diplomacy.
So THAT's why Hillary's kept silent!
In light of the Cultural Revolution's horrors, Nixon's meeting with Mao appeared inexcusable — and yet it surely helped set China on a path where millions of its citizens have been lifted from poverty, and connected to open societies.
No, NO, I CAN'T mention a seven-letter formerly hyphenated word that begins with the letter W.
Most dangerously, we see it in the way that religion is used to justify the murder of innocents by those who have distorted and defiled the great religion of Islam, and who attacked my country from Afghanistan.
Oh, so He DID mention the I word. Although He might have been more correct to say they attacked our country from Saudi Arabia and Pakistan too.
We can understand that there will be war, and still strive for peace. We can do that — for that is the story of human progress; that is the hope of all the world; and at this moment of challenge, that must be our work here on Earth.
Ta-DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! Speech over.
And so I have read, or tried to read, all 4,119 WORDS, unlike NEWT and SARAH!!!!! and MR. NEOCON, who watched and heard the majestic burble too comfortably from the CABLE NUISANCE NETWORK or the MESS or whatever luxury suite they inhabited, and by hearing ten words were able to convince themselves that here was a fellow con-SER-va-tive, when all the world witnessed was another gas emission. But gas smells sweet when it makes history.
Friday, December 11, 2009
TGSM should have announced this the day after the accident. It's still sad. Oh well, I give it a year or two, and he'll be back, with an army of CEOs and news hack toadies as strong as ever, if chastened, and lots of excuses.
P. S. One more observation about his CEO groupi -- SPONSORS:
We've been hearing that all of his sponsors except Gatorade, which has to be thrilled with its good fortune for dropping his drink right before the car accident, are standing by their man. I wondered about this, so I got in touch with two of them: AT&T, which put its name on his golf bag and one of his tournaments; and Accenture, the "Go on. Be a Tiger" (cringe) people.
"Are you continuing your relationship with Tiger, and if so, why?" I e-mailed AT&T spokesman Michael Coe on Wednesday morning.
He wrote back 12 minutes later.
"We have no comment."
"Does Tiger have a morals clause in his contract with AT&T?" I followed up.
"We have no comment."
At least he acted as if he had heard of the guy. I called Accenture at 9:30 a.m. ET and left a message asking the same first question. I followed up with another call five hours later.
Their spokeswoman never called back.
P. S. One more observation about his CEO groupi -- SPONSORS:
We've been hearing that all of his sponsors except Gatorade, which has to be thrilled with its good fortune for dropping his drink right before the car accident, are standing by their man. I wondered about this, so I got in touch with two of them: AT&T, which put its name on his golf bag and one of his tournaments; and Accenture, the "Go on. Be a Tiger" (cringe) people.
"Are you continuing your relationship with Tiger, and if so, why?" I e-mailed AT&T spokesman Michael Coe on Wednesday morning.
He wrote back 12 minutes later.
"We have no comment."
"Does Tiger have a morals clause in his contract with AT&T?" I followed up.
"We have no comment."
At least he acted as if he had heard of the guy. I called Accenture at 9:30 a.m. ET and left a message asking the same first question. I followed up with another call five hours later.
Their spokeswoman never called back.
Another consequence of the obsessive CEO desire for perks:
A spokesman for Gillette, a unit of Cincinnati-based consumer products company Procter & Gamble Co., said the shaving company will continue with the campaign.
“At this time, we are not making any changes to our existing marketing programs,’’ Mike Norton, a Gillette spokesman, wrote in an e-mail.
He was unavailable for phone calls and would not directly comment on Woods’s endorsement deal. “We are running our media schedule as planned.’’
What Moon 'n' Stars doesn't realize is every time a big consumer products firm pulls a no-comment it confirms it has something to hide. We have enough suspicions over such companies.
A spokesman for Gillette, a unit of Cincinnati-based consumer products company Procter & Gamble Co., said the shaving company will continue with the campaign.
“At this time, we are not making any changes to our existing marketing programs,’’ Mike Norton, a Gillette spokesman, wrote in an e-mail.
He was unavailable for phone calls and would not directly comment on Woods’s endorsement deal. “We are running our media schedule as planned.’’
What Moon 'n' Stars doesn't realize is every time a big consumer products firm pulls a no-comment it confirms it has something to hide. We have enough suspicions over such companies.
A famed mutual fund brings a bit of Brooklyn to Beantown:
Harvard University will halt construction of a new science complex in Boston's Allston neighborhood after completing the building's foundation, university president Drew Faust said Thursday, citing the Ivy League school's "altered financial landscape."
What's the difference between condos and a science center?
Harvard University will halt construction of a new science complex in Boston's Allston neighborhood after completing the building's foundation, university president Drew Faust said Thursday, citing the Ivy League school's "altered financial landscape."
What's the difference between condos and a science center?
"Ali and I and the girls love Washington," he said, recalling "dozens" of conversations with his wife, comic actress Alexandra Wentworth, about moving to New York. "That's what made it so difficult. . . . To have to leave Washington and eventually give up 'This Week' was terribly hard for me."
I'm sure we all share HOWIE HAIRSHIRT's extreme upset that George had to make this excruciating decision that will only quintuple his exposure and octuple his pay. I propose we set up a fund to help ease George through this awful transition.
WE CANNOT PUT THESE HACKS OUT OF WORK FAST ENOUGH!
(Via the usual Romy)
I'm sure we all share HOWIE HAIRSHIRT's extreme upset that George had to make this excruciating decision that will only quintuple his exposure and octuple his pay. I propose we set up a fund to help ease George through this awful transition.
WE CANNOT PUT THESE HACKS OUT OF WORK FAST ENOUGH!
(Via the usual Romy)
RECORDS ARE MADE TO BE BROKEN, BUT THIS YEAR'S BOX OFFICE IS PROBABLY NO FLUKE!!!!! EVEN IF THE DVD BUSINESS IS IN A SLOW FADE, IT FEELS LIKE IT'S NEVER BEEN MORE FUN TO GO OUT TO THE MOVIES!!!!!!!!! [FUN overemphasis added]
TRANSLATION: News hacks are really applying the microscope to showbiz coverage to see how they can milk more profits out of it -- and they've decided the way to go is by turning every last inch of the space into advertising. We expect doggie doo from The Mogul's Friend but he's really outdone himself.
WE HAVE A WIDE RANGE OF GIFTED YOUNGER FILMMAKERS WHO ARE ALL CLEARLY AT HOME MAKING MAINSTREAM ENTERTAINMENT WITHOUT SMOOTHING AWAY ALL THE SHARP EDGES AND WHO CAN OFTEN PROVIDE SUBVERSIVE INSPIRATION!!!!!!!!!!
FURTHER TRANSLATION: He rewrote this ten times to get the approval of the Politburo.
TRANSLATION: News hacks are really applying the microscope to showbiz coverage to see how they can milk more profits out of it -- and they've decided the way to go is by turning every last inch of the space into advertising. We expect doggie doo from The Mogul's Friend but he's really outdone himself.
WE HAVE A WIDE RANGE OF GIFTED YOUNGER FILMMAKERS WHO ARE ALL CLEARLY AT HOME MAKING MAINSTREAM ENTERTAINMENT WITHOUT SMOOTHING AWAY ALL THE SHARP EDGES AND WHO CAN OFTEN PROVIDE SUBVERSIVE INSPIRATION!!!!!!!!!!
FURTHER TRANSLATION: He rewrote this ten times to get the approval of the Politburo.
"We're engaging consumers around the world with one of the most unique digital experiences we've ever created!!!!!" McDonald's chief marketing officer Mary Dillon said. [Unique overemphasis added]
TRANSLATION: The whole executive staff is starting its VANCOUVER vacation early!
After TGSM how can anyone believe these huge expenses of our money are anything but an excuse for executive perks?
P. S. at 10:40 a. m. We hate repeating ourselves but the Crainiacs have disclosed that Burger King is sponsoring a SUMNER awards show plus twenty-eight different camera angles on a Webcast on its site. THE BAD NEWS:
Burger King could use some positive results from its entertainment sponsorships, which the company's CEO defended after reporting a 4.6% same-store sales decline in the U.S. and Canada during its first-quarter fiscal-year earnings call. Asked if the company would pursue a less niche-oriented take in its ad strategy to boost sales, CEO John Chidsey said that "things would be even worse" without those efforts.
TRANSLATION: He has no reason to defend himself except he wants his perk: the perk of schmoozing with stars, the perk of being in the world's most important industry, the perk of hectoring his subordinates. This is hardly the first time self-granting of perks hasn't worked -- remember Sarah Jessica Horseyface? That these CEOs persist shows they're every bit as selfish as a top trader at GOD'S SAINTS.
TRANSLATION: The whole executive staff is starting its VANCOUVER vacation early!
After TGSM how can anyone believe these huge expenses of our money are anything but an excuse for executive perks?
P. S. at 10:40 a. m. We hate repeating ourselves but the Crainiacs have disclosed that Burger King is sponsoring a SUMNER awards show plus twenty-eight different camera angles on a Webcast on its site. THE BAD NEWS:
Burger King could use some positive results from its entertainment sponsorships, which the company's CEO defended after reporting a 4.6% same-store sales decline in the U.S. and Canada during its first-quarter fiscal-year earnings call. Asked if the company would pursue a less niche-oriented take in its ad strategy to boost sales, CEO John Chidsey said that "things would be even worse" without those efforts.
TRANSLATION: He has no reason to defend himself except he wants his perk: the perk of schmoozing with stars, the perk of being in the world's most important industry, the perk of hectoring his subordinates. This is hardly the first time self-granting of perks hasn't worked -- remember Sarah Jessica Horseyface? That these CEOs persist shows they're every bit as selfish as a top trader at GOD'S SAINTS.
For those out of a job in the capitalist system, hope:
The number of federal workers earning six-figure salaries has exploded during the recession, according to a USA TODAY analysis of federal salary data....
The growth in six-figure salaries has pushed the average federal worker's pay to $71,206, compared with $40,331 in the private sector.
Who needs the private sector? PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!
Jessica Klement, government affairs director for the Federal Managers Association, says the federal workforce is highly paid because the government employs skilled people such as scientists, physicians and lawyers. She says federal employees make 26% less than private workers for comparable jobs.
I'm sure they're sacrificing.
The number of federal workers earning six-figure salaries has exploded during the recession, according to a USA TODAY analysis of federal salary data....
The growth in six-figure salaries has pushed the average federal worker's pay to $71,206, compared with $40,331 in the private sector.
Who needs the private sector? PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!
Jessica Klement, government affairs director for the Federal Managers Association, says the federal workforce is highly paid because the government employs skilled people such as scientists, physicians and lawyers. She says federal employees make 26% less than private workers for comparable jobs.
I'm sure they're sacrificing.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Speaking of con-SER-va-tives, we note a few them have lauded Om's eternal oration. We would further note however that two of the biggest praisers are NEWT and SARAH!!!!!, which translates into consider the source. We promise that before the weekend is out we will read this majestic Niagara of speechmaking word for word, all 4,000 WORDS of it, each word measuring like a mile in the Sahara, and then perhaps we will judge its genius. If he said something "good", fine. Until then I have only to remember that NEWT and SARAH!!!!! are but two varieties of full-of-it.
His Omnipotence's sometime boss wants to raise the debt ceiling, and is cleverly tying that in to defense spending.
Was ever a big-name politician more tone-deaf? Clearly She wants to put the onus on all those evil people in the military. We wonder if She would show the same enthusiasm for the cheap gesture if the topic were social spending. His Omnipotence's sometime boss is almost as oblivious as all those CEOs who wonder why they've got to punish their favorite athlete. But then just as in big business oblivious means success in the Beltway.
Was ever a big-name politician more tone-deaf? Clearly She wants to put the onus on all those evil people in the military. We wonder if She would show the same enthusiasm for the cheap gesture if the topic were social spending. His Omnipotence's sometime boss is almost as oblivious as all those CEOs who wonder why they've got to punish their favorite athlete. But then just as in big business oblivious means success in the Beltway.
How I Fired My Cable Company And Hooked My TV Up To The Internet
...with 500 catches.
Catch No. 496:
I know the sports and technology enthusiasts don’t often mix, but if you’re one of the few people who live in both of those worlds you might have to look for other options. To watch baseball you can buy a little dongle that plugs into the back of your computer and streams free over-the-air high-definition channels. I bought this for the Yankees games and it worked perfectly. If you’re an ESPN fan you have two options. Stick with cable, or go to a bar to watch the basketball games.
If BRIAN ROBBER and UB IGER haven't had a meeting, they will.
(NYT link)
...with 500 catches.
Catch No. 496:
I know the sports and technology enthusiasts don’t often mix, but if you’re one of the few people who live in both of those worlds you might have to look for other options. To watch baseball you can buy a little dongle that plugs into the back of your computer and streams free over-the-air high-definition channels. I bought this for the Yankees games and it worked perfectly. If you’re an ESPN fan you have two options. Stick with cable, or go to a bar to watch the basketball games.
If BRIAN ROBBER and UB IGER haven't had a meeting, they will.
(NYT link)
How apt that on the day the once Big V decides to disappear Editor and Publisher and Kirkus Reviews fold, meaning some trade rags don't have a future with or without a pay wall.
(Via HENRY HONEST! via MediaBistro -- and no Henry, it wasn't necessary to have someone else redact an executive's name)
(Via HENRY HONEST! via MediaBistro -- and no Henry, it wasn't necessary to have someone else redact an executive's name)
Speaking of the Dynamite Memorial, Nukeman's thugs say they've returned the medal and scrip to the 2003 laureate whom they stole them from, but as we know too well, Nukeman's thugs will say anything.
In more superb news of the state of our culture:
Susan Boyle’s ‘Dream’ Could Be Best-Selling Album Of 2009
Susan Boyle’s ‘Dream’ Could Be Best-Selling Album Of 2009
Jim MURROW!!!!! Fallows says China is not an economic superpower:
Almost no one in the United States is a peasant farmer. Most people in China are. Nearly everyone in America has indoor plumbing. Most people in China don't. Japan has one-tenth as many people as China, yet its economy is larger -- the second largest in the world. America's is of course largest of all, three times larger than Japan's and about four times larger than China's. Name 20 large American corporations that do business worldwide. Without trying, you can probably name 50. Try to name even 10 from China. Name the most recent winner of a Nobel prize in science from a Chinese university or research institution. (Hint: this is a trick question.)
All right, Jim, we concede your main point: People show ignorance in saying China's the world's leading economic power. But riddle me this: How does a country with so many people without indoor plumbing manage a stranglehold on our economy? How is so much of what we buy from clothes to electronics made there? How can China afford all those fancy-dancy-we've-won-an-award buildings like CCTV Center and the Bird's Nest? How does China manage to have us over a barrel by owning so much of our debt? Yes, I probably can't name two Chinese companies, but one is Haier, which came close to buying GE BANCORP's white-goods business, and there will be more.
There is no reason an economic superpower cant have gross inequalities. We already know there is no reason a totalitarian state can't be an economic superpower. And there is no evidence China is standing still in seeking world domination.
(Entered as draft on 12/10; posted 12/17 after reading this)
Almost no one in the United States is a peasant farmer. Most people in China are. Nearly everyone in America has indoor plumbing. Most people in China don't. Japan has one-tenth as many people as China, yet its economy is larger -- the second largest in the world. America's is of course largest of all, three times larger than Japan's and about four times larger than China's. Name 20 large American corporations that do business worldwide. Without trying, you can probably name 50. Try to name even 10 from China. Name the most recent winner of a Nobel prize in science from a Chinese university or research institution. (Hint: this is a trick question.)
All right, Jim, we concede your main point: People show ignorance in saying China's the world's leading economic power. But riddle me this: How does a country with so many people without indoor plumbing manage a stranglehold on our economy? How is so much of what we buy from clothes to electronics made there? How can China afford all those fancy-dancy-we've-won-an-award buildings like CCTV Center and the Bird's Nest? How does China manage to have us over a barrel by owning so much of our debt? Yes, I probably can't name two Chinese companies, but one is Haier, which came close to buying GE BANCORP's white-goods business, and there will be more.
There is no reason an economic superpower cant have gross inequalities. We already know there is no reason a totalitarian state can't be an economic superpower. And there is no evidence China is standing still in seeking world domination.
(Entered as draft on 12/10; posted 12/17 after reading this)
Shucks, ASTERISK is stuck at 762* forever.
It is highly unlikely anyone can break ASTERISK's "record" without sporting an asterisk of his own. But then stranger things have happened -- like BUD SELIG.
(Via Game On!)
It is highly unlikely anyone can break ASTERISK's "record" without sporting an asterisk of his own. But then stranger things have happened -- like BUD SELIG.
(Via Game On!)
And elsewhere in showbiz news for which we don't need PAM, someone tries to downsize Show Boat, that grandest of musicals, and someone else doesn't like it:
“We keep hearing that down-sized productions reveal a musical’s core content, as if theatergoing were an anatomy lesson,” said Ethan Mordden, author of several books on musical theater, including the 2008 biography “Ziegfeld: The Man Who Invented Show Business.” “In fact these works were conceived to be big and busy, to fill the eye and ear. Without casting, design, choreography and orchestration on the grand scale, the shows aren’t tightened but diminished.”
Why not? Diminished shows for a diminished age. Every age gets the culture it deserves -- and the age deserves Show Boat for peewees and kazoo band, even if some of us don't.
“We keep hearing that down-sized productions reveal a musical’s core content, as if theatergoing were an anatomy lesson,” said Ethan Mordden, author of several books on musical theater, including the 2008 biography “Ziegfeld: The Man Who Invented Show Business.” “In fact these works were conceived to be big and busy, to fill the eye and ear. Without casting, design, choreography and orchestration on the grand scale, the shows aren’t tightened but diminished.”
Why not? Diminished shows for a diminished age. Every age gets the culture it deserves -- and the age deserves Show Boat for peewees and kazoo band, even if some of us don't.
As threatened, the show-biz rag that's out-analyzed by a caterer is waving bye-bye to the public. It will be annoying to have to search Yahoo! for its CW, but we figure neither NIKKI!!!!! or SHARON!!!!! was around the last time, and there is LALA, and the rag will slowly become even more of an irrelevance, and we bet it won't make money.
And now, inexorably, to the formation of a few HUGE Web sites, and the damnation of all the rest.
(Via AHTSJournal)
And now, inexorably, to the formation of a few HUGE Web sites, and the damnation of all the rest.
(Via AHTSJournal)
In more important news, You-Know-Who's superagent's trying to save his client's endorsements!
Could common sense finally have arrived in the corner office?
(Via Seeking Alpha)
Could common sense finally have arrived in the corner office?
(Via Seeking Alpha)
We dare say His Omnipotence will not need Air Force One when he can float back home on the applause of being Honorary President of Europe. At times like these we yearn for Mencken. How he savaged Warren Gamaliel Harding, that fount of bloviation, always careful to emphasize his middle name. Happily His Omnipotence seemed to have used the first person often enough. Unfortunately he seems to have admitted to a problem: "I do not bring with me today a definitive solution to the problems of war." Shucks Om, that's why they chose you -- to bring peace and eternal life! You can't do it? As for the rest of the speech (or what we can hurriedly scan of it) his two hundred ghosts served up ample platitudes that will not bring peace to one person except him unlucky enough to read the oration word for word, and then more like a fitful nap. We gather too in so much verbiage he said we are subservient to the League of Nations, blather not terribly likely to bring down our unemployment rate.
The only question is, how can the Dynamite Memorial bozos ever top this?
The only question is, how can the Dynamite Memorial bozos ever top this?
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
"We can't impeach for hypocrisy. We can't impeach for arrogance. We can't impeach an officeholder for his lack of leadership skills," said Rep. James Harrison, the Columbia Republican who headed the panel.
True -- or else we'd have to impeach a great many in public office.
True -- or else we'd have to impeach a great many in public office.
UGH: A troublesome thought: Herman -- Sloan? You remember him: the guy who walked out of CHEAP CHANNEL to get umpteen gazillions from XM? He may be renegotiating his contract in public, meaning he's ankling (to use an obsolete Varietyism) back to broadcast, only he won't make umpteen gazillion there anymore.
You don't suppose Harold's come to realize that he made an umpteen-gazillion-dollar mistake?
P. S. It appears from the eleventh graf our intrepid reporter Sarah may be trying to help Herbert out, which is why SLIME'S rags are NOT worth paying for.
You don't suppose Harold's come to realize that he made an umpteen-gazillion-dollar mistake?
P. S. It appears from the eleventh graf our intrepid reporter Sarah may be trying to help Herbert out, which is why SLIME'S rags are NOT worth paying for.
The sad story of Alexa Ray Joel, exacerbated by a factotum:
“She’s got some pipes,” said an insider at Sony, which is the parent company of Columbia Records, which distributes Billy’s music. “There’s no question about that. But her sound is kind of niche.”
This guy has described ninety-nine percent of the music his company distributed before 1970.
“She’s got some pipes,” said an insider at Sony, which is the parent company of Columbia Records, which distributes Billy’s music. “There’s no question about that. But her sound is kind of niche.”
This guy has described ninety-nine percent of the music his company distributed before 1970.
Touché! For once Romy links to something that isn't a tantrum. The idea of media reviews as restaurant reviews is certainly different, and better than what most Emilys do. Though Romy quoted the half-star (our guess) review for Huff-'n'-Puff the one for Grate.com is better:
While the dishes are sometimes unappetizing, the kitchen will occasionally convince you that everything you know about curly fries is wrong. The opinionated waitstaff makes it clear that they know what you want better than you do; don't be surprised if your order of chicken elicits a riff on why you actually wanted trout. We hope the owners know what they're doing, because the business model—the food is free, but there are ads on the plates, glasses, tablecloths, and forks—seems iffy at best.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamen! But we knock half a star off for the lukewarm mea culpa soup.
While the dishes are sometimes unappetizing, the kitchen will occasionally convince you that everything you know about curly fries is wrong. The opinionated waitstaff makes it clear that they know what you want better than you do; don't be surprised if your order of chicken elicits a riff on why you actually wanted trout. We hope the owners know what they're doing, because the business model—the food is free, but there are ads on the plates, glasses, tablecloths, and forks—seems iffy at best.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamen! But we knock half a star off for the lukewarm mea culpa soup.
Even CONSERVATIVES don't like "AH'm PRAYYYYOUD t'BE a CAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYN! A-meriCAYYYYYYYYYYN!"?!?!?
MS. TRAVERS must be disappointed.
MS. TRAVERS must be disappointed.
[I]n a sign that Dubai World may struggle to keep its trophy buys, Istithmar World sold its W Hotel in Manhattan in a foreclosure auction on Tuesday for $2 million. It bought the property for $282 million in 2006.
Some people think all those empty Buck Rogers towers aren't a problem?
Some people think all those empty Buck Rogers towers aren't a problem?
RENDELLISM, TWEAKED: TNR runs a piece by two wonks on how Turin and Bilbao "renewed" themselves. Just one problem: two prominent words here are "government" and "Gehry." Both cities needed government spending; both cities relied on tourism. Perhaps both cities have recovered, as the wonks say, and perhaps Turin has something of a post-industrial industrial base, but in the presence of these two big G words we find that hard to believe, especially when this story mentions "outdoor cafes". (Philthydelphia has them too.) We don't know what to do about Detroit, but it seems more than a few people are pointing in the same possibly self-defeating direction.
Let us not forget Fiat was once an acronym.
Let us not forget Fiat was once an acronym.
"[Some] 85% of adults read magazines, unchanged over the past decade and, in fact, readership in the 18-34 demo is actually growing," Bewkes said. "Magazines have unparalleled reach and relevance."
Do you, Jeff?
Do you, Jeff?
This story is evidence that the stoopid of the Web is moving into the luxury news suites. It could easily have been compiled from comments in second-string Web sites or Facebook. We know our superiors in the news suites think we have sex on the brain, and such stories have the same automatic attraction as a car accident, but dammit aren't there other things to write about?
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
Obama: U.S. Must Spend Itself Out of Recession
Notwithstanding this bald hed, and the fact that it runs in NewsMAX!!!!!!!!!!, isn't that how we got in trouble in the first place?
Notwithstanding this bald hed, and the fact that it runs in NewsMAX!!!!!!!!!!, isn't that how we got in trouble in the first place?
Marketers Pull All Tiger Woods Ads From Prime-Time Television
That high-pitched whine you hear in the distance is the sound of dozens of CEOs screaming.
(Via Seeking Alpha)
That high-pitched whine you hear in the distance is the sound of dozens of CEOs screaming.
(Via Seeking Alpha)
SLIME says ad-supported media is dead -- and the NPCPCAA wants vastly more greed for its professional college hoopsters. Somebody will pay through the nose. Now BRIAN ROBBER COULD charge, say, $10,000 a month to his turnips, but if ad-supported media are dead and BRIAN ROBBER charges $10,000 a month, more than ad-supported media may be dead.
(First link via IWantMedia; second link via Media Life)
(First link via IWantMedia; second link via Media Life)
Dubai: 6 mths [sic] too short to restructure Dubai World
No, better to multiply the months by the number of empty rooms in all those Buck Rogers buildings. Pfffffffffffffft!
No, better to multiply the months by the number of empty rooms in all those Buck Rogers buildings. Pfffffffffffffft!
First comes the still underreported e-mail leak, and now with another leak the little nations are angry because the big mean nations are hogging more power determining the "solutions" for climate change.
No one said redistributing the world's wealth would be easy.
No one said redistributing the world's wealth would be easy.
Speaking of the BIG V (although not as big as once) one of its leading publicists Pam greases the skids for PAUL DRECK!!!!! by screaming, "BEST YEAR EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", which occasions this comment -- from a caterer:
Best year ever for the box office would be in tickets sold or in adjusted dollars, not current dollars. Why do we have this desperation of creating false statements or compartmentalizing BO draw to the point that every new movie that comes out ends up beating some kind of record? [Emphasis added]
When a caterer shows far more discernment than one of the BIG V's leading publicists that says we can throw the BIG V out the window.
Best year ever for the box office would be in tickets sold or in adjusted dollars, not current dollars. Why do we have this desperation of creating false statements or compartmentalizing BO draw to the point that every new movie that comes out ends up beating some kind of record? [Emphasis added]
When a caterer shows far more discernment than one of the BIG V's leading publicists that says we can throw the BIG V out the window.
Midst the ever burgeoing GENIUS of pop entertainment -- well EMILY says it's so, so it must be so -- an accelerating shrinkage in film music:
James Horner, a double Oscar winner for "Titanic" and composer on this year's "Avatar," says that a decade or more ago, "the composer was always at least equal in rank to picture editor." Now, he thinks, music "has slipped closer to the level of sound effects" for many of the directors with whom he's worked.
We promise NOT to say anything about videogames.
Adds Horner: "No one just says, 'What do you think of my picture? I want you to write what's in your heart.' I haven't heard that in years. That simple concept does not exist anymore."
We wouldn't expect such from a biz now lacking a head and a heart.
(Via the usual AHTSJournal)
James Horner, a double Oscar winner for "Titanic" and composer on this year's "Avatar," says that a decade or more ago, "the composer was always at least equal in rank to picture editor." Now, he thinks, music "has slipped closer to the level of sound effects" for many of the directors with whom he's worked.
We promise NOT to say anything about videogames.
Adds Horner: "No one just says, 'What do you think of my picture? I want you to write what's in your heart.' I haven't heard that in years. That simple concept does not exist anymore."
We wouldn't expect such from a biz now lacking a head and a heart.
(Via the usual AHTSJournal)
Great going, Henry Honest! He compares one kind of greedy SOB (athletes) to another kind of greedy SOB (CEOs)! Needless to say the two are joined at the hip by many things, like corporate sponsorships, country clubs, the same Richie Rich friends -- what's the difference?
Chief Democratic Party theoretician and vastly overpaid pundit EJ (aren't they all?) says health-care "reform" MUST pass by Christmas because...(scratchscratchscratch) we need "domestic nation-building."
And now we learn to our chagrin that the CLATCH has lifted a salary freeze, meaning the sky's still the limit for overpaid pundits. (Second link via the usual Romy)
And now we learn to our chagrin that the CLATCH has lifted a salary freeze, meaning the sky's still the limit for overpaid pundits. (Second link via the usual Romy)
Moody’s Investors Service said its top debt ratings on the U.S. and the U.K. may “test the Aaa boundaries” because their public finances are worsening in the wake of the global financial crisis.
Triple-A? That's the automobile people! says Speaker Babs.
Triple-A? That's the automobile people! says Speaker Babs.
Monday, December 07, 2009
TRANSLATION: By nixing steep discounts retailers may have outsmarted themselves.
I know the retailers are in "damned-if-we-do" mode, but why are they so eager to be damned-if-we-don't?
I know the retailers are in "damned-if-we-do" mode, but why are they so eager to be damned-if-we-don't?
We shouldn't make much of this but Emily's raging flattery of the Shakespeares of today's television whom few watch has drawn two comments despite being up for three days, which aside from being potent symbolism reminds us that the Web boasts a surfeit of raging flattery and stuff no one reads -- and raging flattery that no one reads.
Hard to believe the combined market cap of BUGMEISTERDOM and Cisco Systems was once OVER $1 TRILLION. We're still living with that fact today.
According to BoxOffice.com, 2009's domestic cume has already topped 2008's record haul of $9.626 million from January 1 to December 31, 2008. More on Monday when actuals come in.
So Why Is Most Of Hollywood Out Of Work? [Graf and hed reversed]
Plainly SUPERNIKKI!!!!!, SHARON!!!!!, PAUL DRECK!!!!! and DAVID "NON" GERMAIN!!!!! will double-see to it we don't find out.
So Why Is Most Of Hollywood Out Of Work? [Graf and hed reversed]
Plainly SUPERNIKKI!!!!!, SHARON!!!!!, PAUL DRECK!!!!! and DAVID "NON" GERMAIN!!!!! will double-see to it we don't find out.
Wonderful:
Chicago Suspect Is Linked to Mumbai Attacks
No wonder even His Omnipotence's crew is talking.
(Further here and here)
Chicago Suspect Is Linked to Mumbai Attacks
No wonder even His Omnipotence's crew is talking.
(Further here and here)
'Climategate' shakes trust in scientists: Saudi
Wait a second -- wouldn't higher oil prices be a good thing?
Wait a second -- wouldn't higher oil prices be a good thing?
'Stop Asking for Money!'
Good advice for educrats, hack pols, and anyone else with a yen to burn ours.
Good advice for educrats, hack pols, and anyone else with a yen to burn ours.
"He was trying to signal to them that Comcast is not a company but a family with real values," said a Comcast source in attendance. "Everyone at Comcast, from the executives to the pole climbers, knows Ralph and Brian."
And so do millions of turnips every month. Pffffffffffffffffffffft!
And so do millions of turnips every month. Pffffffffffffffffffffft!
Who's in charge -- generals or President Obama?
Hmmm. Of course His Omnipotence should be in charge -- but with him foreign policy is a lose-lose, and he definitely doesn't like getting involved in anything that means pointing guns. So....
Hmmm. Of course His Omnipotence should be in charge -- but with him foreign policy is a lose-lose, and he definitely doesn't like getting involved in anything that means pointing guns. So....
If SLIME could "ruin" MySpace, think what he could do when he puts his rags behind a pay wall!
(Via IWantMedia)
(Via IWantMedia)
Sunday, December 06, 2009
We smile: Idiots like "ELVIS!" Sillerman, Ty Warner, Michael Dell, BUGMEISTER BILL and other Richie Riches got singed -- make that third-degree burned -- by THE CRISIS, investing in thousands of luxury hotel rooms no one needed, and are now begging like the vagrant to get rid of them. As TGM makes us doubt the press releases he generated, definitely so these Masters of the Universe, who were never supposed to lose money. Were they?
(Link via Bloomberg)
(Link via Bloomberg)
ARCHDaily!
Architecture for POSTAL WORKERS.
Although it does seem to be missing "1st Floor", "2nd Floor"....
Architecture for POSTAL WORKERS.
Although it does seem to be missing "1st Floor", "2nd Floor"....
If it's Sunday it must be Big Double-A-Scribble Time:
1. Count on the Crainiacs to come up with excuses for recidivist endorsers -- two excuses: First, the companies can always cut the endorsers' fees. This still means the CEOs are entitled to their luxury boxes and bawling out the help. And it doesn't address the fact that, as even these Crainiacs half admit, endorsers may not be that good at moving the goods, especially when they work for P&G Overpriced Razor Blade Division. Second, the endorsers can be THEMSELVES. Well, they're no longer Goody Two-Shoes, are they? And what Crainiac article would be complete without some nincompoop in corporate PR:
"The Gillette Champions are still acknowledged amongst best sportsmen in the world," a spokesman said in a statement. "They are also human beings and make mistakes. By acknowledging and learning from their mistakes, we hope they will become even better, both in the game and beyond."
TRANSLATION: Why ask me such stupid questions? The bosses still want their final-round tickets. We're not sure that even Moon 'n' Stars would want a serial adulterer to be HIMSELF -- unless Cincinnati's having a population problem.
P&G: The Worst a Man Can Get.
2. Speaking of excuses, the Crainiacs will never stop making them for the Super Bowl -- and the CEOs sponsor it for the same reasons they're buddy-buddies with TGM and that soc -- FOOTBALL passer. But being an eight-digit parasite means you have to come up with excuses, like "buzz" and "ROI" and "virality". To which we answer -- you're spending millions on tickets for yourselves. BUZZ OFF, CEOS, AND GET VIRAL WITH SWINE FLU.
3. And of course all those CMOs and other ad money-wasters must justify their fiscal incineration, and one new way of doing it is with social networks. Judging from the examples that kind of advertising is a higher-end form of spam.
4. What could be better than to have hundreds of millions to burn on junk television? To be the CMO of GUVMENT MOTORS -- and it's 61 percent THE TAXPAYERS' MONEY!
1. Count on the Crainiacs to come up with excuses for recidivist endorsers -- two excuses: First, the companies can always cut the endorsers' fees. This still means the CEOs are entitled to their luxury boxes and bawling out the help. And it doesn't address the fact that, as even these Crainiacs half admit, endorsers may not be that good at moving the goods, especially when they work for P&G Overpriced Razor Blade Division. Second, the endorsers can be THEMSELVES. Well, they're no longer Goody Two-Shoes, are they? And what Crainiac article would be complete without some nincompoop in corporate PR:
"The Gillette Champions are still acknowledged amongst best sportsmen in the world," a spokesman said in a statement. "They are also human beings and make mistakes. By acknowledging and learning from their mistakes, we hope they will become even better, both in the game and beyond."
TRANSLATION: Why ask me such stupid questions? The bosses still want their final-round tickets. We're not sure that even Moon 'n' Stars would want a serial adulterer to be HIMSELF -- unless Cincinnati's having a population problem.
P&G: The Worst a Man Can Get.
2. Speaking of excuses, the Crainiacs will never stop making them for the Super Bowl -- and the CEOs sponsor it for the same reasons they're buddy-buddies with TGM and that soc -- FOOTBALL passer. But being an eight-digit parasite means you have to come up with excuses, like "buzz" and "ROI" and "virality". To which we answer -- you're spending millions on tickets for yourselves. BUZZ OFF, CEOS, AND GET VIRAL WITH SWINE FLU.
3. And of course all those CMOs and other ad money-wasters must justify their fiscal incineration, and one new way of doing it is with social networks. Judging from the examples that kind of advertising is a higher-end form of spam.
4. What could be better than to have hundreds of millions to burn on junk television? To be the CMO of GUVMENT MOTORS -- and it's 61 percent THE TAXPAYERS' MONEY!
And after that last post we must follow up with the truly honorable reporter's guidelines of Jim Lehrer, as he has now alas entered into retirement:
-- Do nothing I cannot defend.
-- Cover, write and present every story with the care I would want if the story were about me.
-- Assume there is at least one other side or version to every story.
-- Assume the viewer is as smart and as caring and as good a person as I am. Assume the same about all people on whom I report.
-- Assume personal lives are a private matter until a legitimate turn in the story absolutely mandates otherwise.
-- Carefully separate opinion and analysis from straight news stories, and clearly label everything.
-- Do not use anonymous sources or blind quotes except on rare and monumental occasions. No one should ever be allowed to attack another anonymously.
-- I am not in the entertainment business.
These are words to live by -- and most news hacks haven't lived by them in years, especially numbers 2, 3, 4, 6, 7 and 8.
Have a good retirement, Jim.
P. S. on 1/3/2010 at 6:42 p. m.: Count ourselves stooPID. We thought Mr. Lehrer was retiring; PBS only retired his name from its news show's title. Well, in so many ways the honor he exemplifies pretty well resigned from the TV news business long ago, if it every really had it.
-- Do nothing I cannot defend.
-- Cover, write and present every story with the care I would want if the story were about me.
-- Assume there is at least one other side or version to every story.
-- Assume the viewer is as smart and as caring and as good a person as I am. Assume the same about all people on whom I report.
-- Assume personal lives are a private matter until a legitimate turn in the story absolutely mandates otherwise.
-- Carefully separate opinion and analysis from straight news stories, and clearly label everything.
-- Do not use anonymous sources or blind quotes except on rare and monumental occasions. No one should ever be allowed to attack another anonymously.
-- I am not in the entertainment business.
These are words to live by -- and most news hacks haven't lived by them in years, especially numbers 2, 3, 4, 6, 7 and 8.
P. S. on 1/3/2010 at 6:42 p. m.: Count ourselves stooPID. We thought Mr. Lehrer was retiring; PBS only retired his name from its news show's title. Well, in so many ways the honor he exemplifies pretty well resigned from the TV news business long ago, if it every really had it.
Now that PAUL DRECK'S DREAM is about to become a reality, we can expect NO ONE will tell us the truth about B. O. We still say most of the financial increase is from 3D surcharges, and that the actual attendance figure is marginally higher. And that is how we should measure box office -- by attendance, a number not subject to inflation. We make a big thing of this because PAUL DRECK will be gloating on front-pages soon, vastly helped by imbecilic press agents like David "NON" Germain, giving music to the kind of news-hack self-congratulation that saw its height after Watergate; and because news hacks now deem uncritical hyperbolistic showbiz coverage as central to the industry's profits and undefeated egomania.
We would note too it is now likely that the AHTHOUSE Os-CAR® favorites will mostly be box-office duds. Eight-Octave's massive hit of four weeks ago has TANKED; so have three other supposed best-pic-TYURE nominees. There is NO MARKET for AHTHOUSE movees outside a few big cities. The A-ca-de-MY®'s experiment with ten nominations is about to expose itself as a total idiocy.
We would note too it is now likely that the AHTHOUSE Os-CAR® favorites will mostly be box-office duds. Eight-Octave's massive hit of four weeks ago has TANKED; so have three other supposed best-pic-TYURE nominees. There is NO MARKET for AHTHOUSE movees outside a few big cities. The A-ca-de-MY®'s experiment with ten nominations is about to expose itself as a total idiocy.