THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Saturday, April 15, 2006
Not just TONY, Matthew:
The sale of honours is a time-honoured practice of which all major political parties have been guilty. But a very modern horror — one of the ways this Prime Minister has chipped away at our concept of law — is a weakening public grasp of what are the rules, who are the referees and how those caught cheating should react. Amid a bewildering starburst of initiatives, czars, commissions, audits and inquiries, we are left in a looking-glass world where a hundred things are said and unsaid, done and undone, promised and unpromised, ruled and rescinded, before breakfast. In all this confusion, the shrill blast of a police whistle may yet serve to steady the nation.
Problem is, the shrill blasts of police whistles have left much of our ruling class deaf.
(Via The Corner)
The sale of honours is a time-honoured practice of which all major political parties have been guilty. But a very modern horror — one of the ways this Prime Minister has chipped away at our concept of law — is a weakening public grasp of what are the rules, who are the referees and how those caught cheating should react. Amid a bewildering starburst of initiatives, czars, commissions, audits and inquiries, we are left in a looking-glass world where a hundred things are said and unsaid, done and undone, promised and unpromised, ruled and rescinded, before breakfast. In all this confusion, the shrill blast of a police whistle may yet serve to steady the nation.
Problem is, the shrill blasts of police whistles have left much of our ruling class deaf.
(Via The Corner)
Dalai Lama seeks to improve image of Islam in U.S.
He'll meet with Muslim leaders in a mission of peace in S.F.
His latest hopeless cause.
He'll meet with Muslim leaders in a mission of peace in S.F.
His latest hopeless cause.
Tomorrow the hacks will scream in earnest that HOLLYWOOD IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, but let's keep in mind what's brought Hollywood BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!: third-rate digital cartoons and gross-out comedies. While the hacks banshee that the biz is BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they can NEVER hide what's bringing it "BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", or their own profound role in crudding up movies. Meantime they wait anxiously for the fall and several dozen more overrated arthouse films for few outside Midtown Manhattan.
Not all the news is bad: that @#$%&* OVERPROMOTED TWXSTERS' BETTIE FLICK needs a face lift and BREAST IMPLANTS.
P. S.
C'MON, PAUL DRECK, you're one of the biggest names in Hollywood, -- you MUST be; you're only quoted 25,000,000 TIMES every SUNDAY -- and you can't wait to BANSHEE too, and all we can find is this little bitty thumbnail from Money.CNN?
YOU MUST DO BETTER THAN THAT!!!!!
Not all the news is bad: that @#$%&* OVERPROMOTED TWXSTERS' BETTIE FLICK needs a face lift and BREAST IMPLANTS.
P. S.
C'MON, PAUL DRECK, you're one of the biggest names in Hollywood, -- you MUST be; you're only quoted 25,000,000 TIMES every SUNDAY -- and you can't wait to BANSHEE too, and all we can find is this little bitty thumbnail from Money.CNN?
YOU MUST DO BETTER THAN THAT!!!!!
We're not going to pull a DOW 36,000 and defend excessive CEO compensation, and we suspect, yes, Lee Raymond was a beneficiary of the oil shakedown bizness more than the other way around, but we doubt if proportionally (that is, meaured against sales) he made that much more than MICKEYMOUSE NIXON over the same period -- if anything he probably made far less. And, like it or not, ExxonMobil did trillions, and made billions.
No denying it, though -- this tower of bauble is an argument for moving from black gold.
No denying it, though -- this tower of bauble is an argument for moving from black gold.
Friday, April 14, 2006
I have not blogged until now because I was busy ridding a defective hard drive from my computer, and also because I'm discouraged, and seem to find it harder to say what little I have to say. Also, today was a day off for me, and I needed the rest.
If only other bloggers would take a rest now and then.
If only other bloggers would take a rest now and then.
GE BANCORP AND REALTY won't sell off its "entertainment" unit. It should. A corporate behemoth needs to be in showbiz the way I need another hole in my head. And the last thing a company as controversial as Little Jeffy's needs is a magnet for more controversy.
Nor are we surprised the GAMES reaped a de facto loss, which shows these things have little value other than for CEO schmoozing, and athletes showing their attitude.
Nor are we surprised the GAMES reaped a de facto loss, which shows these things have little value other than for CEO schmoozing, and athletes showing their attitude.
Shucks, the Stupid Would-Be Shoe Bomber won't testify.
Maybe it's just as well; to use him as a witness because he's stupider than the defendant may just not cut it.
Maybe it's just as well; to use him as a witness because he's stupider than the defendant may just not cut it.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
We know why Number 20 thinks Dubya will release him; he thinks he'll cave to the Islamists. Of course he won't, but Number 20 judges shrewdly because a president may come around, as 9/11 further recedes into history and politics -- Mr. HEINTZ, The MANNEQUIN with the POLYESTER HAIR, Dr. Wimp, Boobs McKeating, SOMEBODY -- who would free Number 20 in an exchange for hostages. Too many of our leaders have jellyfish implants where their backbones should be, and Number 20 knows it.
Rudy wouldn't, but he has too many flaws to be president, not least his Manhattan-sized ego.
Rudy wouldn't, but he has too many flaws to be president, not least his Manhattan-sized ego.
It's official: Horace Newcomb is an ass.
So are Matt and Trey.
They follow in the steps of that SUPREMEST ASS SUMNER.
Comedy Central probably did the only thing it could do, as Muslim extremists hold the sword of rioting and terrorism over our heads. That said, we hope people will stop talking about this "fearless" show. Fearlessness is quaking in its boots.
P. S. I tried getting onto SUMNER'S FEARLESS CHANNEL's Web site and it froze my computer and caused IE to abort.
P. P. S. Not every FREEPER is a raging pop-culture-mad loon:
No offense to anyone here, but discussing comedy on Free Republic is like discussing hang-gliding with a trout.
So are Matt and Trey.
They follow in the steps of that SUPREMEST ASS SUMNER.
Comedy Central probably did the only thing it could do, as Muslim extremists hold the sword of rioting and terrorism over our heads. That said, we hope people will stop talking about this "fearless" show. Fearlessness is quaking in its boots.
P. S. I tried getting onto SUMNER'S FEARLESS CHANNEL's Web site and it froze my computer and caused IE to abort.
P. P. S. Not every FREEPER is a raging pop-culture-mad loon:
No offense to anyone here, but discussing comedy on Free Republic is like discussing hang-gliding with a trout.
Somebody's written a book called 10 Excellent Reasons Not to Join the Military.
The Democratic Party issues its platform two years early.
Cindy Sheehan, the antiwar activist who had a 58 percent approval rating among Democrats as of August 2005, wrote the book's introduction and one of its more obvious chapters: Don't join the military because "[y]ou may be killed."
Especially defending JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS.
P. S. 54,493 in Amazon.com before its May 1 release. There is hope.
The Democratic Party issues its platform two years early.
Cindy Sheehan, the antiwar activist who had a 58 percent approval rating among Democrats as of August 2005, wrote the book's introduction and one of its more obvious chapters: Don't join the military because "[y]ou may be killed."
Especially defending JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS.
P. S. 54,493 in Amazon.com before its May 1 release. There is hope.
How many news hacks are veterans?
Let me count: one, two...ten fingers are enough.
(Via [roll the eyeballs here] Vlady)
Let me count: one, two...ten fingers are enough.
(Via [roll the eyeballs here] Vlady)
Would-be shoe bomber may be Moussaoui witness
How could he have committed a crime? He's almost as dumb as I am, duhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
How could he have committed a crime? He's almost as dumb as I am, duhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
News hacks will make much of this horrible story because it happened in "the heartland" (actually, Lancaster County is now a glorified exurb), but they shouldn't; evil can happen anywhere.
The GIANT William Sloane Coffin Jr. has died (he MUST have been a giant -- The PAPER OF RE-CORD's obit runs four pages), and this reminds us in every age America has had its religious scoundrels, and ours has had more than others: Jim Bakker, Jimmy Swaggart, Pat Robertson, Louis Farrakhan. Coffin surely wasn't in their league for rascality, but he made up for it with his PROTESTS. He was, like Billy Graham, a politician first, and just as Graham used his life to suck up to presidents and Brezhnevs, so Coffin became a hero with the fashionable. He was a well-meaning rogue. And once again we're regaled with a charming tale:
Another Yale man of the time, President Bush, has spoken of a less affectionate memory: After Mr. Bush's father lost a Senate race in 1964 to Senator Ralph Yarborough, Dr. Coffin told the young man, then a freshman, student that he knew his father and that the better man had won. (Dr. Coffin disputed the anecdote.)
We'l just call it insensitivity in the name of a noble cause.
The Boat People and Killing Fields victims honor your memory.
P. S. The LAST GRAF:
"Patriotism at the expense of another nation is as wicked as racism at the expense of another race," he declared, adding: "Let us resolve to be patriots always, nationalists never. Let us love our country, but pledge allegiance to the earth and to the flora and fauna and human life that it supports — one planet indivisible, with clean air, soil and water; with liberty, justice and peace for all."
DO I HEAR THAT @#$%&* PINCH SOBBING?
P. P, S. The news broke yesterday; we wonder if the hacks have downplayed it because -- well, let's put it this way: the impoverished news factories have enough troubles.
Another Yale man of the time, President Bush, has spoken of a less affectionate memory: After Mr. Bush's father lost a Senate race in 1964 to Senator Ralph Yarborough, Dr. Coffin told the young man, then a freshman, student that he knew his father and that the better man had won. (Dr. Coffin disputed the anecdote.)
We'l just call it insensitivity in the name of a noble cause.
The Boat People and Killing Fields victims honor your memory.
P. S. The LAST GRAF:
"Patriotism at the expense of another nation is as wicked as racism at the expense of another race," he declared, adding: "Let us resolve to be patriots always, nationalists never. Let us love our country, but pledge allegiance to the earth and to the flora and fauna and human life that it supports — one planet indivisible, with clean air, soil and water; with liberty, justice and peace for all."
DO I HEAR THAT @#$%&* PINCH SOBBING?
P. P, S. The news broke yesterday; we wonder if the hacks have downplayed it because -- well, let's put it this way: the impoverished news factories have enough troubles.
No no no no no no NO, Bob Zelnick, news hacks and the PR-advertising brotherhood are not adversaries, they're ALLIES. This latest hoax proves it. So does the JARED stink. So do the ENTERTAINMENT PAGES.
(Via the usual ruminating ROMY)
(Via the usual ruminating ROMY)
A noble hero sacrifices eight months of his life in pursuit of -- THE CAUSE.
During his court martial he likened the invasion of Iraq to a Nazi war crime [sic]
You in with Hogan's Heroes?
During his court martial he likened the invasion of Iraq to a Nazi war crime [sic]
You in with Hogan's Heroes?
BOOM boom BOOM boom (or, THE WALL STREET JOURNALS CONSERVATIVE EDITION'S FREELOADERS' REVIEW is on the WARPATH again):
A category five political storm is building in GOP precincts around the country, and it is going to blow Republicans right out of the majority in November if they don't soon give their supporters some reason to re-elect them. So far this year they've passed limits on free speech that liberals love, but they haven't been able to extend the wildly successful 2003 tax cuts by even a mere two years. And now they won't even allow a vote on budget reforms that their own President and a majority of their own Members support.
SO -- the GOP will lose this election because of...CAMPAIGN FINANCE REFORM!!!!!
You guys deserve to lose -- and you ADMIT IT!
(No thanks to THE CORNER)
A category five political storm is building in GOP precincts around the country, and it is going to blow Republicans right out of the majority in November if they don't soon give their supporters some reason to re-elect them. So far this year they've passed limits on free speech that liberals love, but they haven't been able to extend the wildly successful 2003 tax cuts by even a mere two years. And now they won't even allow a vote on budget reforms that their own President and a majority of their own Members support.
SO -- the GOP will lose this election because of...CAMPAIGN FINANCE REFORM!!!!!
You guys deserve to lose -- and you ADMIT IT!
(No thanks to THE CORNER)
OOOOOH, Number 20's being PERSECUTED for EXERCISING HIS FIFTH-AMENDMENT RIGHTS!
I'm sure we'll ALL rally 'round the cause, EM.
Bill, why didn't you run it past DOW 36,000? It would go well next to his odes to GREED.
And how apt, EM, that on your home page his tirade runs above YOURS:
A Cautionary Tale
The Current Crisis
September 11 changed everything -- and nothing.
I'm sure we'll ALL rally 'round the cause, EM.
Bill, why didn't you run it past DOW 36,000? It would go well next to his odes to GREED.
And how apt, EM, that on your home page his tirade runs above YOURS:
A Cautionary Tale
The Current Crisis
September 11 changed everything -- and nothing.
Democrats and their flacks daydream:
In his 20 years in Congress, Representative Weldon had never faced a serious challenger. This year, his opponent is a political novice - but a well-funded one, retired Navy vice-admiral Joe Sestak. By April 3, just 60 days after announcing his candidacy, he had raised $420,000, including $70,000 that came in after Sen. John Kerry (D) of Massachusetts sent out an appeal to his 3 million-strong e-mail list on behalf of Admiral Sestak and two other military veterans running for Congress.
In Arizona, Representative Hayworth faces his first serious opponent since 1998 in the person of Harry Mitchell, who was a popular mayor of Tempe for 16 years and then, until recently, a state senator. Senator Mitchell jumped into the race only in late March, but as a seasoned politician, is seen as a threat.
I doubt Congresspoops Able Danger and Rush Limbaugh have a problem. Incumbents are the next best thing to members of the House of Lords, and Gen. McClellan and ex-Sen. War Hero teach us that most military Democrats are preening-peacock COPPERHEADS. Nonetheless (to repeat) the GOP is in richly deserved trouble, thanks to its smug corruption and its total torpor. If they escape it should not be a tribute to the party.
Meantime the WaPost isn't so hopeful.
In his 20 years in Congress, Representative Weldon had never faced a serious challenger. This year, his opponent is a political novice - but a well-funded one, retired Navy vice-admiral Joe Sestak. By April 3, just 60 days after announcing his candidacy, he had raised $420,000, including $70,000 that came in after Sen. John Kerry (D) of Massachusetts sent out an appeal to his 3 million-strong e-mail list on behalf of Admiral Sestak and two other military veterans running for Congress.
In Arizona, Representative Hayworth faces his first serious opponent since 1998 in the person of Harry Mitchell, who was a popular mayor of Tempe for 16 years and then, until recently, a state senator. Senator Mitchell jumped into the race only in late March, but as a seasoned politician, is seen as a threat.
I doubt Congresspoops Able Danger and Rush Limbaugh have a problem. Incumbents are the next best thing to members of the House of Lords, and Gen. McClellan and ex-Sen. War Hero teach us that most military Democrats are preening-peacock COPPERHEADS. Nonetheless (to repeat) the GOP is in richly deserved trouble, thanks to its smug corruption and its total torpor. If they escape it should not be a tribute to the party.
Meantime the WaPost isn't so hopeful.
THANK YOU, OH HOLY BILL OF BUCKLEY, FOR GIVING ME A JOB AS A GASEOUS PUNDIT!!!!!
A special NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD to Jonah for LOGROLLING beyond the call of duty.
A special NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD to Jonah for LOGROLLING beyond the call of duty.
Democrat in runoff for disgraced lawmaker's job
Translation: CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES wrote this (that "staff and wire reports" byline is a neat way of avoiding responsibility), but the Republicans are still in trouble; Duke summarizes the party.
Translation: CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES wrote this (that "staff and wire reports" byline is a neat way of avoiding responsibility), but the Republicans are still in trouble; Duke summarizes the party.
Who knew the armed forces had so many prima donnas?
Rummy let the job go to his head. So have these guys.
Rummy let the job go to his head. So have these guys.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Why is it when leftists take over in Europe the first thing they do is tell Uncle Sam to go home?
Let us remember the humanitarian who ran Italy for twenty years.
Let us remember the humanitarian who ran Italy for twenty years.
Ooh, Britain's foreign secretary says after the International Wet Noodle Federation reports the League of Nations may use "further diplomatic measures" on Iran.
Like what? Spaghetti?
When does Russia side with the heavies as it usually does?
Like what? Spaghetti?
When does Russia side with the heavies as it usually does?
P-p-p-p-p-please! We're good little boys and girls! We wouldn't do anything to slime the name of Islamic terro -- MUSLIMS! P-p-p-p-p-please! PRETTY please!
(Via, alas, AmSpec, which still posts in advance)
(Via, alas, AmSpec, which still posts in advance)
Trade Deficit in U.S. Shrinks to $65.7 Billion as Gap With China Narrows
Wal-Mart MUST do something about this!
Wal-Mart MUST do something about this!
Madrid is getting RENDELLIZED; the Chicken Empire's capitol is getting a Hard Rock Cafe in a former haunt for bullfighters, and we would wonder the locals would appreciate it, it being an American institution; but what's more interesting is this accidental insight of the kind news hacks always stumble over:
Like much of Madrid, it is frantically shifting to a hip but homogenous modernity.
What Mickey D's is to fast food, and CVS to drug stores, RENDELLISM is to the young and the upscale.
THE PAPER OF RE-CORD further informs us the "meatpacking district" in Lower Manhattan's getting more hoity-toity condos and artsy-fartsy super-upscale stores, further underlining as a neighborhood gets richer it gets more dishonest.
Like much of Madrid, it is frantically shifting to a hip but homogenous modernity.
What Mickey D's is to fast food, and CVS to drug stores, RENDELLISM is to the young and the upscale.
THE PAPER OF RE-CORD further informs us the "meatpacking district" in Lower Manhattan's getting more hoity-toity condos and artsy-fartsy super-upscale stores, further underlining as a neighborhood gets richer it gets more dishonest.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Iran Insists Enrichment Goal Is Peaceful
Sure. It'll make "Palestine" very peaceful.
Hey nut, if you nuke "Palestine" where will all the natives live?
Sure. It'll make "Palestine" very peaceful.
Hey nut, if you nuke "Palestine" where will all the natives live?
Stern Surprised Other Journos Not Defending Him in 'Page Six' Scandal
Two reasons: 1. You're a "gossip" "columnist", and 2. You work for a CONSERVATIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We'd wager among the hacks 2. is FAR MORE IMPORTANT than 1.
Two reasons: 1. You're a "gossip" "columnist", and 2. You work for a CONSERVATIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We'd wager among the hacks 2. is FAR MORE IMPORTANT than 1.
I wrote about the overuse of "frankly" long before you did, even before it acquired the extra-added spice of "quite", but then I don't run an allegedly super-cool Web site named Golf -- GELF.
Sorry, must be SPA -- must be having a brain cramp.
Sorry, must be SPA -- must be having a brain cramp.
Chastity, M.D.: Conservatives teach sex ed to medical students. Thanks, Congress.
Stale.com throws another predictable tantrum at conservatives. Thanks, Stale.com.
Stale.com throws another predictable tantrum at conservatives. Thanks, Stale.com.
We're of two minds about this. The courageous killing of a crazed airline passenger shows that the Feds can go too far in pursuing "security." On the other hand the SPAZ -- the NEWS HACKS will pursue stories like this because they can take the safe PC side of bloviating against RACIAL PROFILING, which for innocents of several types should be more than a political thing.
Speaking of ROMY:
Rival bidders for Philadelphia newspapers hire advisers
When we saw that hed why did we replace "advisers" with DETECTIVES?
Rival bidders for Philadelphia newspapers hire advisers
When we saw that hed why did we replace "advisers" with DETECTIVES?
OOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooh, the GOLFING MACHINE said a -- NAUGHTY WORD (he said...SPAZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!), and our NEWS HACKS, suddenly remembering MUSLIMS, DELETED IT!!!!!!!!!!
More forthright truth telling from the press!!!!!
(By contrast the BRITS let loose at the MACHINE, whch proves it PAYS to have ED BRADLEY as your CHIEF FLACK.)
(Via Stuff.co.nz via the inevitable ROMY)
More forthright truth telling from the press!!!!!
(By contrast the BRITS let loose at the MACHINE, whch proves it PAYS to have ED BRADLEY as your CHIEF FLACK.)
(Via Stuff.co.nz via the inevitable ROMY)
MySpace.com Posts Ads Promoting Safety
Between MYSPACE.COM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and the POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s one BUSY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Between MYSPACE.COM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and the POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s one BUSY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TRANSLATION: Mitt's our kind of conservative. (?!?!?)
Question: Will the hacks give him a chance or are they bound to call him a -- CONSERVATIVE?
Question: Will the hacks give him a chance or are they bound to call him a -- CONSERVATIVE?
The Perfesser Thompson of talk radio has some sage advice for morning-drive phreaks:
"People have lives and they can do other things, including enjoy the silence."
RIP, Harold -- er, what was his name?
"People have lives and they can do other things, including enjoy the silence."
RIP, Harold -- er, what was his name?
Our Brooklyn-Bridge-for-Sale Story of the Day:
The average British woman worries about the size and shape of her body every 15 minutes - more than the average man is said to think about sex, which is every 20 minutes.
Then again, maybe it's true -- what with all the time the British get narcotized by the telly.
The average British woman worries about the size and shape of her body every 15 minutes - more than the average man is said to think about sex, which is every 20 minutes.
Then again, maybe it's true -- what with all the time the British get narcotized by the telly.
The Israeli experience suggests that an effective fence could cost as much as $1 billion per mile. [Emphasis added.]
How much do illegals cost?
How much do illegals cost?
And in more VIACONNING of the "news":
PR man wants to make Philly Inquirer more fun to read
Aren't newspapers "fun" enough?
PR man wants to make Philly Inquirer more fun to read
Aren't newspapers "fun" enough?
No sooner was one writer's attempt to sue the GM of genre fiction for plagiarism dismissed than another writer sues him for the same thing.
How can you prove the unprovable?
How can you prove the unprovable?
RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hires a former SAMMY GLICKMANITE to be a "security czar" for MySpace.com.
We are all COMFORTED, RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Via IWantMedia.com)
We are all COMFORTED, RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Via IWantMedia.com)
Which leads us to speculate that when Lucy Van Pelt takes over MOONER will order an unappetizing mixture of THE TRUTH and PUFFERY, the latter to justify the former. There's already been much talk about her perky nature and the allegedly gorgeous legs she'll now have to hide under a desk; what better way to display them than by making her -- HUMAN? And what better way to make her human than by doing -- MARSHMALLOWS? And the huzzahs for ED's PR favor for THE GOLFING MACHINE appear not to have penetrated the VIACON news suite's thick skulls, meaning MOONER will air a LOT of unslugged ads like Melissa's. Nor would we be surprised if he does what he threatened to do before -- shoehorn the EDWARD R. MURROW of COMEDY in to goose up the ratings, only this time in earnest.
And I'm not sure I appreciate reading your GIDDY RESUMÉ, MELISSA, about SNAKES IN A PLANE when I'd just read about SNAKES IN PLANES.
Nor do I appreciate reading this, SUMNER AND MOONER, when Iran's nutcase has all but declared his nation a NUCLEAR POWER -- a story that somehow DOES NOT YET GRACE YOUR SITE.
P. S. at 1:04 p.m.: These morons finally replaced it; but the story takes up no more of the page than did MELISSA'S PRESS RELEASE.
Nor do I appreciate reading this, SUMNER AND MOONER, when Iran's nutcase has all but declared his nation a NUCLEAR POWER -- a story that somehow DOES NOT YET GRACE YOUR SITE.
P. S. at 1:04 p.m.: These morons finally replaced it; but the story takes up no more of the page than did MELISSA'S PRESS RELEASE.
VIACONNETWORKNEWS.COM wastes inordinate surfers' time with what must be the PLUG OF THE YEAR -- it takes up more space than anything else on the HOME PAGE -- and for that A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO MELISSA!
When will the TWXSTERS plug it?
When will the TWXSTERS plug it?
More great news hack wisdom of the immigration war:
There is nearly universal agreement on one point: The system needs fixing.
And:
Yet most Americans are pessimistic about whether that effort could ever succeed.
Chuck Krauthammer's suggestion looks better every day.
There is nearly universal agreement on one point: The system needs fixing.
And:
Yet most Americans are pessimistic about whether that effort could ever succeed.
Chuck Krauthammer's suggestion looks better every day.
Monday, April 10, 2006
RU-486 ruled out in one of two recent deaths initially linked to the abortion pill
America's luxury news suites go YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!
America's luxury news suites go YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!
They're wearing white. And they're carrying red, white and blue. [Home-page tease]
They're carrying red, white and green too, but the hacks won't notice. Amazing how their color-blindness seems to waver depending on the subject.
They're carrying red, white and green too, but the hacks won't notice. Amazing how their color-blindness seems to waver depending on the subject.
HMMM:
Nearly two thirds of respondents said that advertisers spend their money irrationally and do not understand media. One recurring complaint was that they put too much emphasis on television at the expense of other forms of media.
These folk should know -- they're MEDIA BUYERS.
Nearly two thirds of respondents said that advertisers spend their money irrationally and do not understand media. One recurring complaint was that they put too much emphasis on television at the expense of other forms of media.
These folk should know -- they're MEDIA BUYERS.
TRANSLATION: A PC billboard company gets the eighty-somethings of the AMERICAN SOCIETY OF WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS to HIPLY deface buildings and think they're moving product.
Who says Corporate America cares for its reputation?
Who says Corporate America cares for its reputation?
Now BIZWEEK celebrates the UGLY BUILDINGS going up in ITALY -- such as:
The Loch Ness monster making landfall;
The Damoclean SHARD;
No, NO! We won't say it.
Just because something's WEIRD-LOOKING, Dilberts, doesn't make it a MASTERPIECE.
The Loch Ness monster making landfall;
The Damoclean SHARD;
No, NO! We won't say it.
Just because something's WEIRD-LOOKING, Dilberts, doesn't make it a MASTERPIECE.
We abhor the mistreatment of animals, and we further recognize the Feld organization is sneaky at best. But...
"Our animals are amongst the best cared for anywhere," said Thomas Albert, vice president for government relations and animal policy with Ringling Bros. "Sadly, our elephants are better cared for than many children in this country."
We have no doubt that's true, which doesn't speak well for children in any case. And while we are sure the ASPCA is above politics, the same isn't true for some other animal-welfare groups, whose members are quite sanguine about ABORTIONS.
"Our animals are amongst the best cared for anywhere," said Thomas Albert, vice president for government relations and animal policy with Ringling Bros. "Sadly, our elephants are better cared for than many children in this country."
We have no doubt that's true, which doesn't speak well for children in any case. And while we are sure the ASPCA is above politics, the same isn't true for some other animal-welfare groups, whose members are quite sanguine about ABORTIONS.
Though we can believe this story about illegals usurping native-born workers, it too must count as spin due to its timing, and its source. Where is the reporter who won't march into Hell for a cause? (And we omit the word "heavenly" as that lyric with it makes no sense, and news hacks seldom march for heavenly causes.)
We must admit Effete Edelstein isn't quite the ad-blurbist he used to be. There was something about running in Stale.com that gave his flatulence an -- immediacy. When he launched his adjectives of flowery puffery they hit you right between the eyes -- and elsewhere. Now that he's in print he's just another name above the titles. We are not being ironic, either, and suggesting that he's improved; an Effete Edelstein can't improve, except for the worse. That said he's still in the verities the same old Effete. Were this master of the rave to learn of a certain Sports Illustrated poll he would do a very good imitation of a steam locomotive through his ears, yet he is in that obtuse way of certain liberals so guileless that it would never occur to him that even more of movie ad-blurbists are alike. Possibly he thinks he is letting loose a wicked chuckle when he eructs like this, but somehow what always comes out is the very forced grin of somebody who thinks he's a good writer.
Little Howie Hairshirt learns a HORRIBLE truth: Boobs McKeating isn't -- a MODERATE!!!!!!!!!!
What is he?
(Via the usual Romy, who sometimes accounts for half our posts, so original are we)
What is he?
(Via the usual Romy, who sometimes accounts for half our posts, so original are we)
Shucks, here HOLLYWOOD'S COMING BACK!!!!!!!!!!, and these dummkopfs at S&P rain on our parade.
Do you suppose we can't make rotten movies forever? I wouldn't.
Do you suppose we can't make rotten movies forever? I wouldn't.
So -- people "freely" pay for RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s gossip "columnists" -- and He returns the favor with POSITIVE COLUMNS!
Asked whether such gratuities violate the Post's ethics guidelines, Rubenstein said, "The paper has no response."
The paper has no ethics guidelines.
P. S. The ROMYs and other press "ethicists" are sure to be excited today because now they have an excuse for getting back at the RUPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -- for being "CONSERVATIVE." I wouldn't try that if I were you, guys. Gossip "column" "ethics" must count as among the news biz' best-kept secrets, and what the RUPE!!!!!!!!!!'s whores have done may blow this whole gossip-"columning" racket out of the water. Then people would trust your rags so much there'd be no white knight like the CLATCH to bail them out.
Asked whether such gratuities violate the Post's ethics guidelines, Rubenstein said, "The paper has no response."
The paper has no ethics guidelines.
P. S. The ROMYs and other press "ethicists" are sure to be excited today because now they have an excuse for getting back at the RUPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -- for being "CONSERVATIVE." I wouldn't try that if I were you, guys. Gossip "column" "ethics" must count as among the news biz' best-kept secrets, and what the RUPE!!!!!!!!!!'s whores have done may blow this whole gossip-"columning" racket out of the water. Then people would trust your rags so much there'd be no white knight like the CLATCH to bail them out.
In Los Angeles, Eun Sook Lee will march on behalf of Korean illegal immigrants, at least 50,000, living in southern California. On Boston Common, Punam Rogers will join other Indian émigrés, as well as business clients and students from China, Germany, and Britain. In Fort Lauderdale, Fla., Ivalier Duvra will take to the streets to draw attention to Haitian newcomers who he says need refugee status.
Coming on the heels of demonstrations in several larger cities, a National Day of Action on Immigrant Rights Monday is expected to involve people in some 90 US municipalities, well above organizers' goal of 10. Described as the biggest social movement of Hispanics since the United Farm Workers of Cesar Chavez....
Are we trying to spin something?
Coming on the heels of demonstrations in several larger cities, a National Day of Action on Immigrant Rights Monday is expected to involve people in some 90 US municipalities, well above organizers' goal of 10. Described as the biggest social movement of Hispanics since the United Farm Workers of Cesar Chavez....
Are we trying to spin something?
Sunday, April 09, 2006
With the release of "Mission: Impossible III" set for next month, the industry is expecting a big rebound from last year's disappointing summer, Exhibitor Relations said.
Kemp! Why didn't you say
PAUL DERGARABEDIAN!!!!!?
Kemp! Why didn't you say
PAUL DERGARABEDIAN!!!!!?
And, OMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, if the President doesn't tell us THE WHOLE TRUTH, I suggest he be impeached AND CONVICTED!
I'm sure you would, Sen. O'Specter.
I'm sure you would, Sen. O'Specter.
Speaking of Hollywood hacks, we should have commented earlier on this CORNER entry about the Masters. Somehow we are not surprised to learn that "An SI poll found that almost 90 percent of Tour players said invading Iraq was a good idea, and zero had seen Brokeback Mountain." (Nor are we surprised that Jim Nantz tap-danced around that, but we'll forgive him as we like him, and his former college dormmate Boom Boom's one of his best friends.) Just as show-biz types are college professors with looks and luck -- and if the Best Ac-TOR of 2005 is any indication, just luck -- so golfers are Realtors®, Babbitts to the nth degree and the 19th hole. Warren (a con-SER-va-tive Hollywood hack) is pleased, but he would be as they're his kind of conformists. Is it any wonder, with people retreating to their own nasally-congested hermetically-sealed warrens like the Hollywood hacks and the golfers, that we speak politics to each other with such vitriol?
Soon the table pounding will start in earnest. It will be muted at first, with USAOKAY!!!!! asking and hoping, "Is Hollywood back?" By Memorial Day the newsrags will take up the chant, and so will the uber-sycophant GRAYDON, and by July it will be a full-bore no-holds-barred irritant: "HOLLYWOOD IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!" We note that the biz is helped by favorable comparisons to last year, and we fear they'll continue, and most of the "back" owes to ONE FLICK, but the reason we expect to be mad is that with the news hacks assuring the artistes that their place of employment is "BACK" (in a matter of speaking; it certainly isn't back compared to THE WAR, nor ever will it be) even the most microscopic hope of improving the product is gone; that now THE CONSPIRACY and its enablers and apologists can make and sell schlock until hell freezes over, with the soupcon of arthouse junk for the ad-blurbists. When the scribblers go into their REALTOR® mode we always expect them to sell us a Potemkin house.
P. S. We jumped the gun a little bit; the biz was down sizably from last week, but it's still up the kind of percentage that will get USAOKAY!!!!! and its ilk to hope, "Is Hollywood back?"
P. S. We jumped the gun a little bit; the biz was down sizably from last week, but it's still up the kind of percentage that will get USAOKAY!!!!! and its ilk to hope, "Is Hollywood back?"
Somebody's made noises to Seymour at The New Yorker that we're aiming to bomb Iran. This is a classic damned-if-we-do-damned-if-we-don't. If we do we may make the yayas stronger; if we don't we assure a Muslim Hitler festers. What do we do?
I wonder: is RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s rag the British version of The Wall Street Journals?
I wonder: is RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s rag the British version of The Wall Street Journals?
Larry, Sergey and Jerry Yang -- and Larry Ellison -- should be smiling:
China has recorded details of more than 96 percent of its population on a police database, state media reported on Friday, supplementing Internet and other state-sanctioned surveillance.
China has recorded details of more than 96 percent of its population on a police database, state media reported on Friday, supplementing Internet and other state-sanctioned surveillance.
Equal and opposite sides: the Professor and State Department employees. Can we ever know the truth of Iraq without a rose-colored glow or Foggy Bottom pea-soup fog?
Just what the world needs: The Twilight Zone -- again -- with gore. Happily Claire's very good at making these lemons into LEMONADE (they're bypassing the popcorn restaurants) and for that we give her a NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD!
P. S. This is also from the TWXSTERS (they're in a public-hating mood lately, aren't they? But then they always are), whose precursors also gave us a film version (this one didn't go straight to DVD, unfortunately) that featured defining work by the acquitted triple-killer John Landis. We hope these clowns avoided the temptations of a homage.
P. S. This is also from the TWXSTERS (they're in a public-hating mood lately, aren't they? But then they always are), whose precursors also gave us a film version (this one didn't go straight to DVD, unfortunately) that featured defining work by the acquitted triple-killer John Landis. We hope these clowns avoided the temptations of a homage.
Shucks, we were hoping we'd have a BRUCE kind of day with the newsrags. Given how they're always copying off each others' notes it's the least they can do. (And as we know news hacks don't have to peer over each others' shoulders to think alike.) To be sure our hearts are in the right place; we are told "Couric cries regularly." We know you folks are androids; do you have to keep up the ruse? (And we've done a cover story on someone without interviewing the subject! Neat presto-changeo!)
Meantime in that other useless pile of pulp, a "(RET.)" calls for Rummy to resign, which means no one will pay attention (certainly Rummy won't), and we plug a movie by calling its antecedent "tragic", which suggests all those fancy meals in the five-star restaurants at the DOUBLE-TOWER of BABBLE are starting to weigh down our minds.
(P. S.: There's a neat quote from one of the film's stars in the third graf that shows how fake this property could be. His name's Cheyenne Jackson, and I remember it because he starred in that immortal musical triumph ALL SHOOK UP!!!!!)
Meantime in that other useless pile of pulp, a "(RET.)" calls for Rummy to resign, which means no one will pay attention (certainly Rummy won't), and we plug a movie by calling its antecedent "tragic", which suggests all those fancy meals in the five-star restaurants at the DOUBLE-TOWER of BABBLE are starting to weigh down our minds.
(P. S.: There's a neat quote from one of the film's stars in the third graf that shows how fake this property could be. His name's Cheyenne Jackson, and I remember it because he starred in that immortal musical triumph ALL SHOOK UP!!!!!)