Posted 5:55 PM by Gene

The GENIUS of modern moveemaking:

As with most mainstream comedies, you get nearly all of the story line and most of the best jokes in "Did You Hear About the Morgans?" from its trailer.

Posted 1:15 PM by Gene

Matthew calls Whiny Reid a hero, which goes to show if he were a con-SER-va-tive calling PILLHEAD a tribune of the people he'd be laughed at.

The higher a pundit's place in the food chain, the more likely he is to take unpaid bribes.

Posted 1:05 PM by Gene

The roustabouts who keep the portapotties clean at Branson East reached a deal, so the ferris wheels and roller coasters will keep running, shucks.

Posted 12:56 PM by Gene

We just went over to the Boston Herald site. Of the nine featured stories, five are from the ASSPress.

This, it appears, is the "future" of news.

Posted 12:17 PM by Gene

Well SLIME, there is one way out of this impasse if You really want to buy United Artists -- pay too much.

You did it before!

Posted 10:12 AM by Gene

National Weather Service issues blizzard warning for Washington

Wouldn't it be nice if every day in Washington there could be a blizzard?

Posted 10:09 AM by Gene

Well hacks, thanks to your insistence on a one-party state YOU got your health-care bill in the Senate. Now let's see what YOU do with it.

Posted 9:51 AM by Gene

Obama Nixon: 5,370,000 G000,000,000,000GLE LINKS.

Posted 8:24 PM by Gene

A classy exit from a classy gentleman. We only wish we could look forward to more class acts, but the network news became just an act for us a long time ago.

We take back whatever we said about "(Charles Gibson in his dramatic roles)" because, whatever TV news's limitations, we did not know what we were talking about.

Posted 5:11 PM by Gene

Copenhagen summit ends with feeble climate deal

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww SHUCKS!

Posted 1:47 PM by Gene

Talktalktalkblahblahblahscribblescribblescribble -- now the grand holy poobahs of climate change are giving up on a treaty in favor of stricter limits.

WHERE IS SUPERMAN?!?!?

Posted 1:43 PM by Gene

His Omnipotence issues another threat:

President Obama says the United States and Russia are "quite close" to agreeing on a new arms control treaty.

What did we give away this time, Om?

Posted 1:19 PM by Gene

SCUM OF THE WEEK:

Police are trying to determine if a girls softball coach facing charges of plastering hundreds of images of naked children in his bedroom molested anyone.

Richard Zorn, 53, was arraigned Wednesday on 14 charges ranging from child sexual abusive activity to using a computer to commit a crime, after police raided his home on Cypress Street and found a "shrine" on his bedroom walls consisting of hundreds of pictures of children, Wayne County Sheriff Benny Napoleon said....

Zorn, who worked for the city's Department of Public Works, had several images where he'd used a computer to superimpose the faces of his fiancee's young children onto images of naked young girls, police alleged.

Posted 10:36 AM by Gene

More MENSA-IQ financial dealings at Hahvahd Mutual Fund:

As vanishing credit spurred the government-led rescue of dozens of financial institutions, Harvard was so strapped for cash that it asked Massachusetts for fast-track approval to borrow $2.5 billion. Almost $500 million was used within days to exit agreements known as interest-rate swaps that Harvard had entered to finance expansion in Allston, across the Charles River from its main campus in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

The swaps, which assumed that interest rates would rise, proved so toxic that the 373-year-old institution agreed to pay banks a total of almost $1 billion to terminate them.

Posted 9:45 AM by Gene

One reason a still small voice in the back of our head rather wishes this -- ECONOMY would continue is so the business geniuses who got us here could be knocked from their high position on the totem pole. That probably won't happen, and we'll be stuck with corporate effete snobs paying themselves big bucks, and shipping whatever's left of our jobs away.

Posted 9:27 AM by Gene

Acknowledging that the National Enquirer and Men's Fitness occupy the same rarefied jernalistic heights as Metro, we must still not forget the media biz did a lot of covering for THE CHOSEN ONE, HIS MAJESTY, THE IMMORTAL.

(Via HENRY HONEST)

Posted 9:11 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: GM bought Saab to shut it down. What a monumental waste of money. What typical mismanagement from GM.

Posted 8:52 AM by Gene

The musical “Nine” is ostensibly based on Federico Fellini’s autobiographical masterpiece “8 1/2.” But in the clumsy hands of director Rob Marshall, this tacky, all-star botch more closely resembles a video catalog for Victoria’s Secret.



What's wrong with that?

The jaw-droppingly awful "Nine" is the worst Broadway-to-Hollywood transfer since "The Producers" -- the cinematic equivalent of that movie's show "Springtime for Hitler."

Well at least SLIME didn't release it.

Even that wide-eyed arm-waving enthusiast MR. AT THE MOVIES!!!!! doesn't like it:

“I can’t make this movie,” he sings. Substitute “watch” for “make” and provide your own music.

Oops!

Had to post that picture. Everyone else has.

Posted 8:42 AM by Gene

MoveOn.org Raises $1 Million to Fight Joe Lieberman

Hey GEORGE "BUILD THEM A CONCENTRATION CAMP!" SOROS! Remember what happened the LAST time!

Posted 8:33 AM by Gene

Analyst: Comcast Could Own 100% of NBCU by 2014
Buyout Would Cost $17B, Via Cash Flow and Debt; Comcast Has 'Ample Capacity'

We KNOW, we know.

(Via IWantMedia)

Posted 8:28 AM by Gene

The Daily Mail's Quentin Letts described the Pirates Of The Caribbean star's efforts as 'little better than adequate' and 'dull' adding that she has 'all the charisma of a serviceable goldfish'.

For a goldfish Keira sure has some jaws.

Posted 8:26 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: Copenhagen is the Senate on health-care reform writ large.

Posted 8:13 AM by Gene

Compare the iPhone to the old transistor portable radio. We use mountains of resources today to the same purpose as fifty years ago: listening to junk music. When people speak green they might turn to the vast iPhone complex first. How much energy does it hog?

Posted 8:11 AM by Gene

Obama: No time to waste on climate change deal

Why must His Omnipotence be in such a dadburn hurry to do everything?

Plus our superiors the Chinese have stood us up again. Not that His Omnipotence would care. Could it be His low esteem for America is really starting to hurt us?

Posted 4:56 PM by Gene

Who knew Al Franken doesn't have a sense of humor?

Of course when we think of Sen. Morals and Sen. O'Specter -- but Al still doesn't have sense of humor.

Hey Ben Frankenstein! What do you think of THAT campaign contribution?

Posted 3:37 PM by Gene

The United States and its allies are stepping up efforts to persuade Afghan insurgents to put down their arms by negotiating with representatives of Mullah Mohammed Omar and other Taliban commanders and offering cash and jobs to low-level fighters, according to Pakistani, Middle Eastern and U.S. officials and analysts.

Let's hope we're not hiring too many double-agents.

Posted 3:33 PM by Gene

Pepsi will not advertise its drinks in the upcoming Super Bowl, ending a 23-year run so the company can focus on a new marketing effort that will appear mostly online.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But FritoLay is still burning its money, meaning PepsiCo's ultra-PC CEO can still sport a luxury suite, though we still think she thinks only soccer is football.

Posted 3:07 PM by Gene

Funeral Ode to a Zillionaire Doughnut Eater:

I used to watch the show all the time when I was a teenager, but now, as a man in his 20s in New York, I don't think I know a single person who watches. Who do you think is still tuning in?

That's a really good question.

Taaaaaaaaaaaaa ta TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA....

Was it EVER that good?

(Via MICHAEL)

Posted 10:15 AM by Gene

Gee whiz, His Omnipotence was hoping to CHANGE THE WORLD on global warming, and all he brings home from the Copenhagen free-for-all is a statement.

I think we know who's the boss.

Posted 10:03 AM by Gene

And what will the Islamic world do about "honor" killings?

Posted 9:56 AM by Gene

Sears to buy back up to $500 million shares

Which is still $499 million more than it's spent on its stores all year!

But hey, that's the real-estate biz.

Posted 9:41 AM by Gene

Someone translate LALA's fil-LUM cri-TIC for me: In his first sentence he says:

Think of "Avatar" as "The Jazz Singer" of 3-D filmmaking.

And then in his second sentence he says:

Think of it as the most expensive and accomplished Saturday matinee movie ever made.

With that first sentence Ken wants to ride high on the wave of sycophancy, forgetting that The Jazz Singer is remembered only for a catchphrase. As for the second, Ken surely talked himself into believing this high praise, but every time we get a Saturday matinee movie from the biz these days it earns high praise, so that doesn't mean anything.

And we can offer this further translation: This masterwork effectively merges movees and video games, but they've been headed that way for years, and now the scorn for them can be mutual.

We don't doubt SLIME will earn an immortal triumph, but one that will be as ultimately inescapable in the public conscious as The Jazz Singer was maybe ten years after its opening, when it was already historical detritus.

P. S. We saw The Jazz Singer on TV, years ago -- it's an effective weepie that stops in its tracks when the dialogue comes on.

Posted 9:19 AM by Gene

As a rule we try not to read newspaper columns by people who live in mansions, but when Marty pointed us this way (and we'd glanced over the link yesterday) it was as avoidable as a carbuncle on J. P. Morgan's nose. The Islamic world's silence on terrorism is virtual complicity. The more it keeps silent the more blood stains its hands. This is powerful stuff, but one suspects a deaf Islamic community will force the condemnation to wash itself right back out to sea.

Posted 8:43 AM by Gene

How embarrassing is it for TGSM?

Even Jessica Simpson doesn't want to be associated with him.

I know, it's off the scale, but I couldn't help it.

Posted 7:36 PM by Gene

His Omnipotence puts on his best Cassandra face and screams, "THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT WILL GO BANKRUPT!!!!!"

So let's solve the problem by pushing it there!

Posted 3:10 PM by Gene

Time once again for PLAYER ARRESTED:

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A police report says St. Louis Cardinals player David Freese had a blood-alcohol level of 0.23 when he was arrested last weekend for driving while intoxicated. That is nearly three times Missouri's legal limit of 0.08.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Atlanta Falcons defensive tackle Jonathan Babineaux faces a marijuana charge after Gwinnett County police stopped his sport utility vehicle on Interstate 85 Thursday night and smelled pot smoke wafting from the vehicle.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two Missouri women's basketball players who were arrested early Friday morning on suspicion of third-degree assault say they were attempting to stop a fight, according to a Columbia Police report.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kansas State football player Brandon Banks was arrested early Sunday morning, according to Riley County police.

Police arrested him on suspicion of battery and unlawful possession of a stimulant in the 400 block of North 17th in Manhattan, a report says.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

More where those came from, we're sure!

Posted 2:32 PM by Gene

Romy must link to some typist at Meteorite, MediaBlight, whatever, who says Nick Dorken's changed the universe, he gets zillions of page hits, blahblahblah. We forget that in many ways the Web is as opaque as seemingly transparent; it cannot reveal what people choose not to. It is also a funhouse mirror; just because it speaks largely in numbers doesn't mean the numbers are real. One thing it hasn't revealed is whether Nick and Huff 'n' Puff are making money. Oh they ARE, say the hypists, who further say we must take them at their word, just like TGSM's wife. And this typist is as BREATHLESS about how GAWKER'S DESTROYED PRIVATE LIFE!!!!!!!!! as his fellow hacks were about TGSM before the Cadillac. If we found out how much money they make it could stop the typists from hyperventilating. But because the Web has dark spots we won't. And it is second nature for hacks to distort the truth even when it confronts them in the dark alleys of their minds.

Posted 2:05 PM by Gene

Shucks, Walt Disney II, better known as Roy, has died. He helped bequeath the world with MICKEYMOUSE NIXON until he discovered he wasn't WALT DISNEY I.

(Link at 2:16 p. m.)

Posted 1:11 PM by Gene

If Spock -- er, the Nobel Lau -- er, His Omnipotence is such an all-seeing, all-knowing, unspeakably brilliant politician, why did it never occur to Him to pick His fights better?

Posted 11:39 AM by Gene

Jeez, just when it was safe to see Catherine Zeta-Jones!!!!!!!!!!, the roustabouts who clean the porta potties at Branson East's theme parks may strike. Isn't that a bummer?

Or rather, "Isn't it rich, isn't it queer...." Or should we say isn't it living-wage.

Posted 10:28 AM by Gene

Perhaps "parasite" is too strong a word to describe TGSM's "amours", but since hardly anyone has used the word "love" and since we have not seen a creditable human reaction from any of the parties involved it might be in the neighborhood. (The missus most definitely excluded.)

And let us not forget a parasite needs a host.

Con-SER-va-tive PC P. S.

People hadn’t bought golf; they’d bought Tiger. Woods spoke to their hopes and aspirations: His was a success story marked with grace, graciousness, and conservative values. Yet the reality of his life couldn’t have been more different, and people are now looking at the ever-growing procession of girlfriends and saying, “Where did these come from?!?” The yuck factor has gotten pretty high, and it is not just Tiger, but golf itself, with all its self-deluded premises, that will take the hit. [Con-SER-va-tive emphasis added]

We could think of a few people with con-SER-va-tive values: PILLHEAD, GLENN THE GOLD BUG, Duke "The Traitor Patriot" Cunningham, Bob "Moolah" Ney, THE RED-STATE SCORPION...where did THESE come from?

And just because a guy has lots of endorsements doesn't mean he's CON-SER-VA-TIVE. Or maybe given the likes of GEKKO KUDLOW he IS.

Posted 10:14 AM by Gene

The latest hair-tearing from the inner sanctum of Geekdom:

Games: Are Complex Games Doomed To Have Buggy Releases?

Posted 10:09 AM by Gene

We don't know why the FTC is suing Intel when "stifling competition" is the MO of the whole high-tech biz.

Posted 10:05 AM by Gene

PILLHEAD has CHEAP CHANNEL, LIAR LIAR BROCK'S ON FIRE has GEORGE "BUILD THEM A CONCENTRATION CAMP!" SOROS. Only the people are stuck between them, and they don't have a sugar daddy.

(Via the usual Romy)

Posted 9:55 AM by Gene

Source: Obama writes letter to N. Korean leader

Dear Immortal One:

Please, pretty please, O Immortal One, give up your nukes!

Yours,

Your Fellow Immortal One

Posted 8:21 AM by Gene

Ordinarily we smirk when we hear of news hack layoffs, but this news that TNR might be laying off a third of its staff makes us realize that for all our smirking as news consumers we cannot be safe. God knows the biz has to be rid of its superhuman self-regard, but we fear with all these layoffs the survivors, priding themselves on having outlasted mere mortals, may come to see themselves with even more self-regard. We think of the idiot GRANOLA and her four-letter tirade yesterday. She thinks EXTREMELY highly of herself. We cannot be sure after such a tirade that she is a good person. But then you don't have to be a good person to be a leading hack -- God knows that. We doubt anything that's happened at The Paper of Re-CORD lately has quenched her self-esteem. And the better news hacks think of themselves, the worse their output gets. And it's bad enough as it is.

Posted 8:10 AM by Gene

And here's a good reason to give him and his cronies an award:

U.S. gave up billions in tax money in deal for Citigroup's bailout repayment

No wonder RON!!!!! PAUL!!!!! wants to be his boss, though the cure be worse than the disease, if that's possible.

(Via HENRY HONEST)

Posted 8:09 AM by Gene

It could have been worse, so the former flagship rag of PEOPLE WARNER anoints Ben its Poop of the Year.

Was ever there more reason to ditch this gag -- and the rag?

Posted 7:53 PM by Gene

Hey Little Malcolm! BONO!! You keep running press-release listicles like this and we'll wish you the same fate as ZEITGEIST.

OR:

After first hitting the market in 2007, the Forbes building, at 60 Fifth Avenue, is rumored to be on the block again, this time at a fraction of the price. The original listing was at $140 million; then there was a deal that went sour rumored to be for $120 million. The New York Post now projects a sale for $55 million, which Forbes’ spokeswoman Monie Begley adamantly denies.

LOWER!

Posted 7:45 PM by Gene

When one of our favorite movee ad-blurbists Granola acclaims PAUL DRECK!!!!! with a seven-letter compound word, we call that definitive.

(Apparently alas, judging from NICK DORKEN!!!!!'s link -- we won't -- she was only talking about his relationship with WOMEN. Otherwise we suspect she's fine and dandy with his high-voltage PR -- what's good for PEOPLE WARNER -- and thus demonstrates she may merit the sailor talk as much as she dispenses it.)

Posted 4:06 PM by Gene

Obama Promotes Insulation as ‘Sexy’

You know, maybe the guy is Spock.

Posted 4:01 PM by Gene

If the news biz had spent more time on the ground than up in the air it might be in better shape.

(ViaIWantMedia)

Posted 3:56 PM by Gene

Oral Roberts, the preacher who saw the 900-foot-tall Jesus, has died. RIP.

Posted 3:02 AM by Gene

Joe Queenan writes what sounds like an attempt at satire by Mogul's Friend.

Next time Joe, do it yourself.

(Via the usual AHTSJournal)

Posted 2:31 AM by Gene

We're sending -- militants to prison in Illinois even as we learn another Chicago -- militant had links to the Indian massacre.

Is Attorney General Effete Q. Snob setting up an "I didn't know"?

Posted 2:27 AM by Gene

Okay Forbeslist editors, you can apply electrically conductive paint to your skin and turn yourself into a musical instrument. What's to prevent some benign Mustapha Mond from doing it en masse and playing with people?

One of the craziest ideas Matt Johnson has heard was someone asking him if people could tattoo themselves and create permanent circuits under their skin.

Little Malcolm, why didn't your folks call this visionary?

Posted 2:23 AM by Gene

Ayatullah Khomeini Returns to Haunt Iranian Politics

Had he ever left?

Posted 8:03 PM by Gene

Craigslist's chief executive told a court on Monday that an executive with eBay, a minority shareholder, warned him to improve relations with eBay's then-CEO Meg Whitman because she could be a "monster" and "an Evil Meg" when frustrated.

The next governator of California!

Posted 7:30 PM by Gene

“They'd rather have no jobs than poverty-wage jobs.”

Congratulations, foot-stomping Noo Yawk activists -- no jobs is what you got!

Posted 6:02 PM by Gene

An interstitial on USAOKAY.com:



In what countries?

With whose money?

Posted 5:47 PM by Gene

Speaking of S&M, maybe the Dems don't want to abandon health-care "reform" so they can pay for the welts from their self-inflicted head-banging.

Posted 5:00 PM by Gene

EVERY DAY A LITTLE DEATH: If anyone seriously perused our site (and NOT looking for PR0N) we might avoid topics like this as they're a big fat zero to all but a tiny self-absorbed clique, but since virtually no one reads me I can write as I like: The Gods of Branson East celebrated their soon to be 80-year-old wunderkind HERR DOKTOR SONDHEIM with a re-opening of what their followers call THE GREATEST MUSICAL EVER, with Catherine Zeta-Jones!!!!!!!!!!, Angela Lansbury and a combo with strings. (The former might explain the latter.) This and the cheap set (ditto) caused a faint rumblerumblerumble mutinymutinymutiny on the Branson East chat boards, as well they might with the price of a pass nowadays, and last night the high-end theme park opened to decidedly mixed reviews. What astonished us, however, was the hint of career mortality from Five-Star Ben, from whom never is heard a discouraging word on HERR:

[W]ith a scaled-down orchestra at lugubriously slowed-down tempos, Mr. Sondheim’s score more than ever suggests — and not always desirably — echoes from a distant era. (The show is punctuated by the choral commentary of four lieder singers, who are always asking, “Remember, darling?”)

For some reason we remember, darling what happened to the film version of THE GREATEST OPERA EVER, when people ran screaming from the popcorn restaurants on opening day, ostensibly because SUMNER cleverly sold them slasher porn. We know the stupidity of the movee S&M phreaks, for whose self-abuse Hollywood assiduously devotes itself, but we wonder: perhaps people go to movees who aren't that stupid. Could some of them have have known of the masterpiece beforehand? And could some of them have run screaming from the popcorn restaurants when they realized they'd have to face two solid hours with HERR DOKTOR SONDHEIM?

We repeat what we've said before: HERR DOKTOR is the age's version of Victor Herbert, a highly regarded stage and concert composer now slumbering in library dust, who unlike HERR could write melodies people could hum -- and we dare say for all his generic songwriting one or two of his works could be revived, to show the age wrong on TWO fronts.

We make a scene now because this theme-park opening exemplifies what little crumbs are left of the excellence that was once America's culture. More of us are living daily without its modern pleasures. How long can our arts go on rejuvenating themselves in a pigpen, wallowing in yesterday's mud?

And yes, this WILL be a hit, because your expense-account crowd has voided its brains just like the movee S&M phreaks.

Posted 12:07 PM by Gene

When JonBoy founded The Econowiz II he announced he was creating a GREAT magazine that would respect its readers' intelligence. This show-biz-blurbing fanny-kissing listicle says every last word out of JonBoy's mouth was as trustworthy as his rag. And speaking of listicles....



A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO DANNY AND SARAH!

Posted 11:31 AM by Gene

Paul Tammany -- pardon, Tamny says we should outlaw the use of the word "bubble" because many bubbles aren't bubbles, and besides irrational exuberance can benefit the economy -- in short, because GREED IS GOOD, but a typist like this doesn't have the gall to admit it, unlike GEKKO KUDLOW.

Posted 9:26 AM by Gene

WHAT?!? ANONYMOUS says we should stay the course in Afghanistan -- and he doesn't blow a fuse?!?!?

He should see a doctor.

Posted 9:17 AM by Gene

Honest, Your Omnipotence -- we WILL!

Posted 9:01 AM by Gene

The summer box office would have been flat this year without the lift from 3-D, according to research firm Screen Digest. While attendance was down 2.39 percent compared to last year, higher 3-D ticket prices pushed revenue to a record $4.25 billion, a gain of 1.3 percent, or $54 million.

SLIME'S HACKS ADMITTED THIS?

Posted 8:12 AM by Gene

SURPRISE: One of the key tenets of RENDELLISM is that building AHTS Taj Mahals will lead to a boom in the economy by opening up restaurants and hotels and jobs for waitresses and janitors and busboys. WELL, wouldn't you know, some of these RENDELLIST projects aren't even necessary! And wouldn't you FURTHER know, a lot of the outfits that do manage to build their new temples run operating deficits! Isn't THAT a SURPRISE!



And those three of you who come here for something other than PR0N may remember this building: the Spertus Institute in Chicago -- the masterpiece that said ITS tenant could afford a sexy starchitect! Well -- let The Paper of Re-CORD tell ITS surprising story: it seems the institute

owes $43.6 million of the $51.6 million it borrowed for its new building on South Michigan Avenue, completed two years ago. The institute’s galleries are now open only on alternate Sundays and the second Thursday of every month, its Wolfgang Puck kosher cafe [!] is closed, and 26 percent of the staff has been cut.

And consider these nuggets of wisdom scattered throughout the piece:

“[N]obody actually asked: ‘Is there a need here? If they build it, will they come?’ ”

“Facilities cost money to operate, and they deteriorate. The facility itself becomes a series of expenditures.”

“There is a keeping-up-with-the-Joneses quality to museum building.”

“Although expansion is usually seen as a sign of health, it is not always a sign of vitality.”

“We have become increasingly concerned about the sustainability of organizations as a result of these building projects.”

We make a very big thing of this because RENDELLISM is the guiding principle of big-city government, and it's predicated almost solely on EDUCATIONHEALTHCARE, CONVENTIONCENTERSSTADIUMS -- and the AHTS. If the AHTS can create such giant flops, who's to say the whole notion of RENDELLISM isn't one cataclysmic fiasco?

(Via the usual AHTSJournal)

Posted 6:30 PM by Gene

We are even more tired of the topic but thanks to this link we can refer to another unintended news-hack insight into TGSM, this with the overwrought melodramatic title "THE CHOSEN ONE", from a "legendary" article by one of those holy scripters at SI, for whom writerliness is next to godliness:

At last, the river is un-dammed, and Earl's whole life makes sense. At last, he sees what he was searching for, a pattern. No more volunteering for missions—he has his. Not simply to be a great golfer's father. To be destiny's father. His son will change the world.

"What the hell had I been doing in public information in the Army, posted in Brooklyn?" he asks. "Why, of course, what greater training can there be than three years of dealing with the New York media to prepare me to teach Tiger the importance of public relations and how to handle the media?"

Father: Where were you born, Tiger?

Son, age three: I was born on December 30, 1975, in Long Beach, California.

Father: No, Tiger, only answer the question you were asked. It's important to prepare yourself for this. Try again.

Son: I was born in Long Beach, California.

Father: Good, Tiger, good.

NSG, we say.

One other thing: We suspect news hacks are developing a notion that in light of what some undoubtedly see as persecution of a GENIUS, morals should not matter in public life. It was just sex, wasn't it? With such an attitude our superiors in government can screw us out of zillions. That doesn't need sex. If they take that approach it owes something to their own lack of a compass -- a lack that helped make possible TGSM, THE CHOSEN ONE, HIS MAJESTY, THE IMMORTAL.

Posted 3:37 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: Just as SOB created McPaper, so his offspring are creating McWeb. This is hardly early-shattering, as it's existed, oh, pretty much since I started surfing.

(Via HENRY HONEST, who's introduced fast food to high finance)

Posted 11:29 AM by Gene

Neal Gabler writes 5,000 words for JonBoy about "the tabloid culture", which if we know Neal and JonBoy means 5,000 words on something worth 50 -- or maybe none at all.

And JonBoy asks himself why his rag is on the endangered list?

P. S. at 5:20 p. m. Neal also typed 1,550 WORDS for LALA praising Bill "GOD" Moyers because "he is so unlike O'Reilly and that ilk" -- i.e., we agree with him. This is as useful as a conservative writer praising a fellow conservative -- it wastes our time and is blatant partisanship under a veneer of disinterestedness. Why doesn't somebody write for ME?

Posted 11:06 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: Best Buy is becoming the CONCAST of electronic retailing. When one company has the world to itself it's time for competition to kick in. We wonder what its weaknesses are; they must be many with such a huge and overbearing company. And when one company decides what to sell we know who loses, beyond the customers.

Posted 10:55 AM by Gene

And when does news cease to be news and start becoming propaganda? When 5000 news hacks tell it the same way. We couldn't care less if Houston's new mayor sleeps with little green men from Mars or whatever (that might have helped a certain golfer); it's when the hacks start with the EIN VOLK routine that we remember how many of them use Christian as a curse word, and besmirch everything in their path, including their friends. And this mayor, like all mayors, must be judged by the quality of her governance, not of her PC provenance. Shut up, news hacks, and let this mayor work without your making it more difficult.

Posted 10:42 AM by Gene

One reason our culture stinks is because the people think the status quo is fine. Peer pressure is one reason; another is the deluge of promotional junk from news hacks who have taught themselves to believe not only is the status quo good, it is better than anything that has come before it. We expect rock mu-SICK cri-TICS like Chris to run ads like this, praising yet another manifestation of the deadly status quo, publicizing acts that need a base gimmick to get attention (and we can be sure that musically speaking these acts stink -- and no doubt visually too); what surprises us is that it must appear on the Web site of a paper that once knew better. Then again, it's BROCCOLI's, and it's plain he doesn't know better about anything. Evidently he's gotten with the religion that we're sex-mad and need at least twenty different sex stories a day. But BROCCOLIS are always whining about how junk pushes out serious news. I guess it's okay when you do the junk peddling. How long can we his readers be happy to be ignorant?



A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO BROCCOLI!