Posted 7:26 PM by Gene

Clinton's Portrait to Be Unveiled Monday



Like this one?

MyWay.com appropriately put this under ENTERTAINMENT.

Posted 5:06 PM by Gene

Iran wants recognition as nuclear nation

WE HEAR YOU! (Just as long as we don't SEE you.)

Posted 4:45 PM by Gene

Today I was at my local Annoy-'Em-With-Lousy-Customer-Service-and-Foreground-Muzak emporium (the local A & P -- er, SuperFresh) when I noticed it was selling remaindered books. Two of them struck my eye: the first an anthology of "letters" by the bootlegger, fornicator and fascist Joseph P. Kennedy Sr., each one drably written and full of its own self-importance, as if to say, "Testing, testing! 'S the mike on? Can you hear me? Boomboomboom HELLOOOOOOOOO OUT THERE! THIS LETTER IS HISTORIC!" It bore suitable cover-jacket endorsement lies from Arthur "Reagan Will Go Down as Our Worst President" Schlesinger and Michael "The News Hack's Historian" Beschloss. The second was an authorized "biography" of Payne Stewart, printed like a grade-school reader: 250 pages of a hundred words each. These pulp wastes constitute so much of what our booksellers misrepresent as literature the republic would scarcely notice if whole bookstore chains were remaindered. Trees should stand up and demand their rights.

Posted 4:44 PM by Gene

A sign on the back of a car near Ninth and Pine:

BOOBS NOT BOMBS

Well, I agree with part of it.

Posted 1:12 PM by Gene

THE PAPER OF RECORD finds another reason to LOVE DIP: he's MULTI-SYLLABIC -- like its ad-blurb copywriters!

Better, of course, than a president who doesn't know the meaning of the word "a." Now if we can only DRILL THAT IN for five more months...and we WILL.

Posted 9:15 AM by Gene

Let's see if this "indefinite suspension" ends sometime in October, when...NEVER MIND.

Asked to recite the alphabet from the letter “E” through “P,” Huggins said, “E, F, G, H, I, K, L, N, Z,” according to the police report. Asked to count backward from 67 to 54, he counted from 62 to 52, the report said.

I fear that's better than his players -- SOBER.

Posted 9:15 AM by Gene

Another thing: after DIP wins don't be surprised if at least one or two squibs come from NEWS HACKS saying the two can't stand each other and that McPAIN can't wait for the DIP to die.

I smell a constitutional crisis too: would PRESIDENT McPAIN be a DEMOCRAT -- or a REPUBLICAN?

Posted 8:54 AM by Gene

Out west developments can't exist because of a mouse that did not exist. Now the Feds must debate whether or not the mouse existed.

I thought this sort of thing was supposed to stop with Reagan.

Posted 8:39 AM by Gene

This WILL NOT WORK because P. R. MEL created his phenomenon with over a year of crafty promotion and sucking up to key conservatives, and by shrewdly positioning the movie as mandatory castor oil. Otherwise these people don't go to the movies. Back to focus groups, ESPNCorp, and editing movies with statistics.

Posted 8:34 AM by Gene

Has anyone noticed? In all the stories campaigning to get Sen. McPAIN to run it's PEOPLE who SAY he won't run. Not the senator, not the DIP, PEOPLE.

TRANSLATION: DIPPITY-McPAIN! in 2004.

Posted 8:30 AM by Gene

Does poisoning yourself with moonshine in Iran entitle you to 72 virgins? Or does it merely mean you get to die quicker?

Posted 5:39 PM by Gene

Hey GET-A-LIFES! You computer-tweaking dweebs YEARNED for masterworks like this. SHUT UP.

Posted 5:30 PM by Gene

Cincinnati's Huggins arrested for driving drunk

OR:

Huggins was arrested on a drunken driven [SIC] charge after he visited recruits this week in an eastside suburb.

Just another day at the office for another ROLE MODEL.

AWESOME (hic!), BABY!

Posted 5:20 PM by Gene

AWWWWWWWWWW, SHUCKS, some PRUDISH company has decided to stop processing credit-card transactions for PORNO WEB SITES.

Sic 'em, GLIBERAL!!!!!

Posted 5:01 PM by Gene

WHAT? On F-Day, Kinsley.com doesn't run something like, "Which Will Decay First: The Body or the Legacy?"

There are reasons, of course, like, oh, Verizon, Toyota, Citigroup, AmEx, JCPenney....

(I do apologize about that, but Kinsley.com now occupies a special place in news hack cowardice.)

Posted 4:52 PM by Gene

THE DEFINITION OF PIECE OF CRAP. This is just a variation of the MIND GAMES MICKEYMOUSE NIXON plays on WALTER WINCHELL. DIPPITY-DO! tells some high muckymuck in his campaign to call a close friend -- on the day of REAGAN'S FUNERAL -- to tell him that HISTORY'S MOST HEROIC REPUBLICAN (possibly the only such) is NOT interested in being VEEP. This means three things: 1. They're STILL lobbying; 2. They're running a story to distract from the FUNERAL and create a GROUNDSWELL of SUPPORT; and 3. They've got him in their pocket to run Defense. And if we take it at face value, something we must NEVER do with CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES, it's merely A NEWS HACK CAMPAIGNING.

Posted 2:32 PM by Gene

A movie based on an obnoxious cartoon character who looks like a feline Larry King, a remake of a bad movie from a bad book, and Sky Masterson.

Yep, as DR. EVIL would say, MOVIES ARE BETTER THAN EVER!

Posted 2:27 PM by Gene

Another MASTERPIECE no one reads:

I would not, it seems almost superfluous to add, have finished Ulysses if I hadn't been compelled to study it; and I've not met anyone since who has conquered the book outside a formal learning environment. That's not a good sign.

Posted 2:20 PM by Gene

An ARAB columnist demands Moammar Ga-DAFFY LEAVE OFFICE for having "ruined Libya, squandered its wealth, instigated well-known terrorist operations, and [for] supporting terrorism as shown by his plotting against Crown Prince Abdullah"?????

Heaven forfend!

Posted 12:39 PM by Gene

Some opponents fear that leaving movie choices to kids could taint the ratings system, voluntarily enforced by theaters since 1968. They say that could open the door to government regulation that would stifle creativity and experimentation in film making.

Regardless that "kids" already make most movie choices, this is PRECISELY why more popcorn-restaurant chains should adopt the R-Card -- so the PEOPLE finally have a chance to decide how movies should be regulated, not the SUPER-SECRET ALPHABET-SOUP CHEFS in ENCINO.

Speaking of which, (if we're to judge by this mewling hackwork) Dan Glickman may now be the favorite to take over from DR. EVIL. What THE CONSPIRACY needs is a weak man who can be overrun by the politicians and pressure groups. Dan may fit the bill.

Interesting -- this theater chain (whose founder has a name that sounds like kerosene) has expunged all mention of its innovation from its Web site (hence the Google cache on the link). I'd say they've taken an A-1 play out of DR. EVIL's handbook.

Posted 9:27 AM by Gene

"We have a cast of seven, we have a band of six...."

And we have a $40 million venue in Vegas. Good luck, SHOW BOAT.

Actually, we shouldn't call this SHOW BOAT. We should call it UNDERDOG!

Posted 9:10 AM by Gene

I reluctantly join in what is alleged to be a growing chorus to rebuild the WTC, if as nothing else a symbol of defiance, and especially as a symbol of defiance to THE PAPER OF RECORD and similarly becrudded keepers of the cultural status quo; but New York once gave the world masterpieces, and I wish our age could do better.

Posted 8:34 AM by Gene

Even Mr. CONSCIENCE, he who begged that "editorialists" take a stand and DEMAND OUR FORCES GET OUT OF IRAQ, hints that maybe, MAYBE, there just might be possibly a scintilla of truth to the charge that HIS FRIENDS ARE BIASED.

Maybe.

Posted 6:45 AM by Gene

An unwholesome part of the Gipper's legacy: Jacob blames the parents for childhood obesity because CORPORATIONS ARE NEVER TO BLAME, thus saith The BUTTMAN INSTITUTE and UNREASON Magazine.

Posted 6:25 AM by Gene

North Contends He Would Be a Distraction at Funeral

And a dishonor.

Of course in the LALA newsroom, they must be tired of OMERTA yelling, "Is the SOB finally dead?"

By the way, what do Jjjjjjjjacques Chirac and Teddy FATSO GLUB GLUB have in common?

Mark my words, when FATSO goes, the news hacks will do the exact same thing they're accused of doing with Reagan -- only this time, THEY'LL LIKE IT.

Thankfully, the "Rev." Graham, who once applauded freedom of religion in Brezhnev's Soviet Union, will NOT be eulogizing.

Posted 6:21 AM by Gene

Two down, two to go till the apology to Jimmy Kimmel!

Posted 6:19 AM by Gene

So -- broadcasters were indecent before the indecency. How interesting.

Posted 6:01 PM by Gene

In the end, alas, the question is, WHOSE Lysenko?

Posted 5:49 PM by Gene

The BCS monster now sports five legs.

With justice, it will birth another two-headed champion.

Posted 5:41 PM by Gene

Another entertainer is punished for saying what you're not supposed to say. One problem here, though, is Brigitte Bardot has, shall we say, not aged gracefully, and has tried to make up for her great beauty's destruction by turning crank.

Posted 5:39 PM by Gene

Ice age, global warming -- all we know is, there'll be SOMETHING, and SCIENTISTS will be there to HELP CREATE IT.

Posted 5:28 PM by Gene

The Jimmy Kimmel incident almost makes one sympathize for Michael Moore. And Kimmel was only saying in comedian-speak what most of us suspect, what I already said: that if the Pistons win the NBA finals Detroit goes up in flames. My guess is ESPNCorp wants Kimmel to relinquish a pound of his flesh for the usual PC (read, RACE) reasons, which amplifies what a gutless, spineless pile of greed ESPNCorp has become since MICKEYMOUSE NIXON took it over. Kimmel shouldn't have to apologize, or relinquish his job; but we saw what ESPNCorp did to Rush and Gregg Easterbrook, so he'll probably be fired tomorrow, under the funerary radar.

Posted 5:22 PM by Gene

So is outsourcing a problem, knee-jerk FREE ENTERPRISE conservatives, or is it not?

Posted 5:14 PM by Gene

STOP THE PRESSES! STOP THE PRESSES! BILL THE ENTOMOLOGIST AND KINSLEY.COM HAVE SOMETHING NICE TO SAY ABOUT RONALD REAGAN!

We MUST have heard from our sponsors.

Posted 4:57 PM by Gene

On the day poor Mrs. Slut hurt her knee we're reminded what real music used to be like, and why we'll never get it again. If Ray Charles was the self-parody in his last years -- doing the Vegas schtick, lending his name and likeness to slot machines, selling Diet Pepsi for a bunch of equally blind twenty-something ad producers -- it was only because he was at it for so long, and in earning the vast popularity he deserved he had to play to his vast audience, some of whom, we can assume, were not exactly diehard r&b fans. And Ray Charles defined r&b much as Satchmo defined jazz, with a gravelly voice, and boundless soul. You cannot take a song like "Georgia on My Mind" (a song that was Hoagy Carmichael's) and turn it not only into your own, but into the national anthem of soul, by being a human karaoke machine. What is more, he had in him a more diverse idea of music than one could get from a thousand Mrs. Sluts, at home with not only with the jazz and blues that nurtured him, but with pop tunes, country -- you name it, he never did it without the most fiery intensity. Intensity -- that's what we don't have from our entertainers anymore. In its place we have publicity stunts, or as Rex Reed put it, people with "head mikes."

Posted 3:20 PM by Gene

We need SCIENTISTS to convince us dogs know the meaning of "Sit," "Lie down," "Roll over," "Fetch," and "Play dead."

Somebody must have had too many federal "research" dollars on his time.

Posted 12:36 PM by Gene

OMERTA's enforcing his CODE again. BUT:

The nature of presidential elections, which are conducted on a state-by-state basis for electoral votes, means that results of national surveys aren't necessarily indicative of an actual lead in the race.

A meek admission from a great, great editor.

Posted 12:32 PM by Gene

Since when did Vladimir Posner change his name?

EH?

Posted 9:07 AM by Gene

When he left Beech Grove, Ind., in 1981 and became another of the army of hopefuls who once arrived daily in New York on trains, planes and Greyhound buses seeking glamour, excitement and a career in show business, he was dismayed to discover how much of the theater world he knew from the movies had been lost. Working as a singer, producer, writer and editor in the years that followed, he was like so many of us who came to New York with the same dreams—he hated watching musical legends like Gwen Verdon, Bob Fosse, Mary Martin, Ethel Merman, John Raitt and Alfred Drake be replaced by cat costumes with souped-up body mikes screeching atonal horrors that would have given Rodgers and Hammerstein cardiac arrest. He lamented the absence of Helen Hayes, Kim Stanley, Marlon Brando, Tallulah Bankhead—names that once made marquees glitter. Was he too late?

This was the beginning of the Reagan years, when life turned into nirvana -- just like during the Clinton years.

Posted 6:59 AM by Gene

Another silly idea. What are we supposed to call the Pentagon, Billy -- the Reagan? People will still call it the Pentagon. It's an honor without honor.

Posted 6:47 AM by Gene

Putting Reagan on Mt. Rushmore was a stupid idea when you proposed it fifteen years ago, R. EMMETT, and it's a stupid idea now.

Besides, the taxpayers would have to pay to dye his hair.

Posted 6:01 PM by Gene

PA Governor Rendell to Attend Reagan Funeral; Proclaims Day of Mourning in Pennsylvania

Hey DUTCH! I'm HERE!!!!!

Posted 5:58 PM by Gene

Sorry, that's NOT Audrey Hepburn -- and that's NOT Life Magazine either.

Posted 5:55 PM by Gene

LIE OF THE WEEK:

The National Education Association, the nation's largest teachers' union, says the classroom shouldn't be a "pulpit," according to assistant general counsel Michael Simpson.

That's true, Mike. You have better ways. Like Fs.

Posted 5:51 PM by Gene

Another pithy observation that puts the lie to the need for umpteen-thousand-word stories:

Like power suits and Palm Pilots, Starbucks has become synonymous with urban chic among its fans. (Critics call it a symbol of cookie-cutter commercialism and deride the costly brew as "Four Bucks," but that's a different story.)

Or, to quote the fraud Paul Harvey, the REST of the story.

Posted 5:49 PM by Gene

LIBS' NEW TACK: BLAME REAGAN FOR BIN LADEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CARL LIMBURGER! (Peeeeeeeee-U!) Reagan didn't finance bin Laden, that's true, but by doing little more than "taking responsibility" for terrorism he didn't stop his journey to fame either.

Posted 5:42 PM by Gene

KING RICHARD's got a NEW CAR!

Posted 5:35 PM by Gene

I'm a little surprised (given the slant at the end) that NEWS HACKS have not deemed the American Society of Willfully Ignorant Advertisers' family-friendly PR stunt a form of CENSORSHIP.

Relax, hacks. You don't have to worry about CENSORSHIP. Not with ASWIA financing OVER $50 BILLION in JUNK.

Posted 5:32 PM by Gene

Country Music Radio Full of Pro-War Songs

J'ACCUSE!

Posted 5:22 PM by Gene

NEWS HACKS are screaming to the LAST SCRIBBLER that TV NEWS IS OVERDOING THE FUNERAL. I've not seen the coverage -- I engage in a permanent boycott of PEE-tah and Co. -- but the reason they're screaming is THEY DIDN'T LIKE THE MAN. That they didn't like the man obscures the fact that THEY'RE ALMOST CERTAINLY RIGHT -- because TV NEWS HACKS have overdone EVERY BIG STORY SINCE OJ.

Posted 5:19 PM by Gene

FIVE MORE YEARS OF TEXAS TECH TANTRUMS!

Posted 5:14 PM by Gene

What do Ronald Reagan and THE ALL-NEW SOLARA CONVERTIBLE from TOYOTA!!!!! (among other products) have in common? They're right next to each other on Kinsley.com's home page -- which may explain why this particular article isn't headed, "WHY RONALD REAGAN'S REPUTATION IS A LIE."

Posted 5:06 PM by Gene

Someone at Trib Connecticut Edition supposes he writes hilarious satire.

We will ignore that this hahafunny typing goes against all human experience. No, as Trib's SuperEditor OMERTA himself has said, you don't need a battery of committed hacks to slant the news. All you need is -- a CODE, a code "enforced with tribal ferocity." It's not a "Skew Editor", but it's a helluva lot more effective.

Posted 12:07 PM by Gene

70 Taliban Killed in Combat, Afghan Says

Hey Allah! Better make 5,040 more of them Helen Thomases!

Posted 10:29 AM by Gene

Vast tuition sums go to pay huge salaries to professors to stare at their navels and get approving glances from THE PAPER OF RECORD.

Posted 7:04 AM by Gene

In another brilliant move, LALALand's city council preserves the factory where Bill Hanna and Joe Barbera mass-produced their awful cartoons.

Seeing how the two pioneered in limited animation, does that mean we do a limited preservation? Just a few bricks and girders and let the chips (and the building) fall as they may? Had to ask.

Posted 6:55 AM by Gene

Gibson's Icon sues Regal over 'Passion' boxoffice

F---in' GOD wants His f---in' MOOLAH!

Posted 6:49 AM by Gene

The Postal Disservice flounders around some more, looking for a reason to live.

Posted 6:41 AM by Gene

Well, I guess even undertakers find honor in life.

Posted 6:38 AM by Gene

Courtney Love Charged With Attacking Woman

That should be easy -- especially if the woman in question is prettier than Courtney, as many women will be.

Posted 6:30 AM by Gene

BRUISER MAW-RAN wins a knockdown battle!

Now tell 'em what you REALLY thought of renaming that EH-pawt in your district!

Posted 6:27 AM by Gene

What do P&G and the FCC have in common?

THEY HELP CHEAP CHANNEL CLEAN UP!

Posted 6:21 AM by Gene

This has been a MISERABLE week for THE PAPER OF RECORD. First the YAHOOS from Red Country inflict their mourning on us all over this BIGOTED, HOMOPHOBIC, EEEEEEEEVIL REPUBLICAN who nearly launched us into nuclear war, who did whatever he could to bankrupt the poor, who spread AIDS, who tried to get blacks back into slavery, who did all manner of things for which he should live in HELL -- and now TIME WARNER, the center of the universe, that BASTION of HEROISM, is taking one of the greatest TV shows of all time and turning it into PABLUM -- to mollify BIGOTED, HOMOPHOBIC...never mind. You just can't convince some people that WHAT'S GOOD FOR TIME WARNER IS GOOD FOR AMERICA.

HOWELL LIVES!!!!!

Posted 6:08 PM by Gene

Jelly beans.

Posted 5:34 PM by Gene

Uh Larry, I could have done better....

PARDON ME!

Posted 5:29 PM by Gene

Watch out! BLUNDER just started a Russian edition!

It might single-handedly revive Communism!

Talk of "useful idiots" and "rope" is not necessary.

Posted 5:19 PM by Gene

Anthony Won't Confirm Marriage to J.Lo

You ashamed?

Posted 5:16 PM by Gene

Corporate America should stop donating to politicians -- PERIOD.

They're in cahoots as it is.

Posted 5:14 PM by Gene

Ohio State fired basketball coach Jim O'Brien on Tuesday, saying the program committed NCAA violations under his watch that included giving money to a recruit to send to his family overseas.

Oh, and he was 14-16 last season -- but AT LEAST WE HAD A GOOD REASON TO FIRE HIM.

Posted 5:05 PM by Gene

HMMMMMMMMM, I think BILL'S ENTOMOLOGISTS HEARD FROM SOMEBODY because Kinsley.com's WHACK JOB on Reagan has been shunted off to its own mushy sounding ghetto -- "Reagan, Reconsidered" -- and Teeny Tiny Timmy's Tantrum -- originally sold on the front page as

THE MAN WHO TAUGHT REPUBLICANS TO BE IRRESPONSIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

is now the fuzzy "Ronald Reagan, Party Animal." (The original title remains as a subhed.) Having Verizon and JCPenney (DilbertSpell) and AmEx and Citigroup and Toyota Motor as sponsors WILL clear the mind -- TEMPORARILY.

Posted 4:57 PM by Gene

Beatles in talks for online song sales

TRANSLATION: 5000 lawyers, 200,000 legal documents and 1,000 people constantly monitoring the rights.

Posted 1:36 PM by Gene

The conductor puts down his baton, and the strains of "The Internationale" and other inspiring Communist hymns cease at the repository of infinite wisdom called Letters Sent to Romenesko for a brief moment of COMIC RELIEF:

From PATRICK J. LYONS: Limbaugh and Raines are both wrong. John Kerry isn't Lurch, he's



Klaatu.

Posted 12:07 PM by Gene

A riposte to the SORE LOSERMANS of LIBERALISM who say DUBYA STOLE THE ELECTION:

GORE IS STILL SEETHING THAT PENELAS, MAYOR OF MIAMI-DADE COUNTY, DIDN'T ABET HIM IN HIS FAILED COUP ATTEMPT!!!!!

Peeeeeeeee-U! You sure do smell, CARL LIMBURGER!

Posted 11:30 AM by Gene

Network anchors see excess in Reagan funeral coverage

BOOM, boom boom BOOM, boom boom the natives are getting RESTLESS! boom boom BOOM, boom boom....

PEE-tah, the BEST thing you've ever done in your career was to SHUT UP.

Posted 11:12 AM by Gene

The answer, of course, to the GLIBERALS and the Teeny Tiny Timmys who must call Ronald Reagan our worst president and a force of uncontrollable EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL is to call him THE TWENTIETH CENTURY'S GREATEST PRESIDENT and AN UNBLEMISHED SAINT.

Yes, we can fight one exaggeration with another. THIS is why people HATE POLITICS.

Posted 10:44 AM by Gene

Meanwhile, in news from Iraq that has nothing to do with TORTURE....

Oh, I forgot. Good news doesn't count.

Posted 9:49 AM by Gene

Ah, the awful life of celebrities -- and the NEWS HACKS who must tag behind on six digits, waiting to become celebrities too.

Posted 8:39 AM by Gene

On the morning after another musical masterwork enters the pantheon (pffh-hh-hh!), Terry does it again! If anything, he could have written far stronger because the modern musical is utterly TUNELESS. And that "witty" lyric from the new Show Boat is nothing but "National Brotherhood Week" upside-down and backwards. (I can forgive one slipup, though.) A moral of this story: That we still revive the classic Broadway musical might explain why we honor Ronald Reagan.

I think I can also forgive ArtsJournal.com for plugging this one.

P. S. Godspell opened in '71, not '76. And to the computer whizzes at Commentary: I don't think Fellini's movie was called 8BD.

Posted 8:30 AM by Gene

Italy Arrests Suspected Madrid Bombing 'Mastermind'

That's more than EL POLLO LOCO could do.

Posted 6:51 AM by Gene

First the dime, now the $10 bill. No no no no no, let's honor him in other ways. He hasn't been dead long enough.

Posted 6:35 AM by Gene

How surprising: sex abuse at the Groton School. I guess that's how so many bigwigs become SOBs.

Posted 6:29 AM by Gene

A liberal psychiatrist thinks Dubya should see a shrink because he doesn't agree with his politics.

Let's see: "paranoid and megalomaniac tendencies" = NAZI. Deutschland, Deutschland uber alles....

Or should we be singing THE SOVIET NATIONAL ANTHEM?

Posted 6:26 AM by Gene

How unexpected: the producers of the potty-mouthed puppet show ran A $300,000 CAMPAIGN to win their @#$%&* awards -- and the Tonys scored another record ratings low, down fifteen percent. Not Show Boat, I'm afraid.

Posted 5:30 PM by Gene

Two things are certain: the prevaricating "Rev." Graham will speak at the state funeral, and twenty-six ghosts are working on Dubya's eulogy.

Posted 5:26 PM by Gene

Perhaps, Chris, a president ought not to think so much as have "a gut feeling."

Posted 5:24 PM by Gene

Tribune Co. to cut staff as revenue growth slows

TRANSLATION: We're getting even MORE into show-biz and we're REALLY going to make our papers D-U-M DUMB.

Posted 5:22 PM by Gene

Microsoft Says It Held Talks Last Year to Acquire SAP

BILL needs an ACQUISITION to be a SAP?

Posted 5:00 PM by Gene

CHRIS is making the KNEE-JERKS MAAAAAAAAAD, but he speaks with authority where the DNC FLACKS at Kinsley.com do not. Though overstating Reagan's "stupidity" -- we were, after all, on history's lucky side in those years, much as through the unforgettable time of SLICK -- he underlines the fact that it's been a long time since we had a truly cosmopolitan president, one who could think and write and orate for himself, without the aid of a million spinmeisters and two million flacks, one who could speak with authority on the arts and the sciences and literature without a TelePrompTer. In that, Chris is right to be scornful. But a second Jefferson at this stage seems unlikely, not least because it probably wouldn't play well on TELEVISION. Besides, America has had chances to elect erudite presidents, most famously with Adlai Stevenson, an egghead who'd have scrambled all our eggs. (Not that Ike was that great, and Ike set the template for Reagan by being a caretaker.)

Posted 11:08 AM by Gene

OOOOOOOOH, just what the world needs -- another riot in DEEtroit.

Posted 10:46 AM by Gene

[C]ollegiality and good manners are beginning to look pretty attractive....

Gray is beginning to look a lot more attractive.

A world in which people pay no heed to PAPER OF RECORD editorials is beginning to look a LOT more attractive.

Posted 10:06 AM by Gene

THE PAPER OF RECORD's executive editor says:

It's FUN when you get to RULE THE WORLD!!!!!

Posted 8:43 AM by Gene

It is true, HOWIE HAIR SHIRT, about the ketchup, and the trees, and the housing secretary. It is also true, HOWIE HAIR SHIRT, that during the Civil War the British press portrayed Lincoln as an ape, and changed its mind after his assassination.

Posted 8:09 AM by Gene

The people hated the art, Charles, because you hated ART.

And Jjjjjjjacques, I would NOT be surprised if this WAS "an insurance job."

P. S. How interesting that a couple of doors away from this on the dreaded ArtsJournal.com is a link that begins, "Crowds are more often right than the individual." (This definitely does NOT, however, apply to OMERTA.)

Posted 6:50 AM by Gene

The Feds get the day off on Friday, which for them is just -- another day off.

Posted 6:42 AM by Gene

Say effete reverse snobs of media and academe, wouldn't it have been nice if Hinckley's bullet had hit its mark?

THEN WHAT?!?!?

Thank GOD these idiots have kept their mouths shut.

P. S. I wonder how JODIE felt before she heard from her BOYFRIEND.

Posted 6:37 AM by Gene

Merv Griffin will be one of the pallbearers at the private funeral in California, which reminds us that, face it, Ronald Reagan had a tacky side. He was in attendance when Liz married Larry Fortensky (who?), and he gave an award to WACKO. We know about Reagan's sly sense of humor, but occasionally it went too far.

Posted 6:28 AM by Gene

As the tourist trap called Broadway sinks further into obscurity, we must remember that the masses once trekked there, making hits the whole nation knew and revered. Now with the masses gone it awards a potty-mouthed puppet show and an arthouse effusion about the likes of our favorite freedom fighter, John Hinckley. (Wink! Wink!) THE PAPER OF RECORD can immortalize them as Show Boats, but then THE PAPER OF RECORD has always excelled at cognitive dissonance.

P. S. Words STERNO used the other day on THE PAPER OF RECORD's reviewers:

[They] blather on to try to show how cute they can be....

...[B]lowhard....

This guy should spend his time writing in crayon in the ward. What an insufferable bunch of offensive jibberish.

I couldn't have said it better myself. Except I might have spelled it better.

Posted 8:32 PM by Gene

I don't mean to be tacky and punditty and BobNovakky (yecch!), but has anyone asked whether President Reagan's passing will help the Republicans this fall? We mourn now over a man who did a good job, and soon will be coming the impeached LEGACY and his self-serving memoirs. I doubt it, but I wonder.

I've also come up with a reason why the news hacks have been surprisingly respectful in their coverage. Most people liked the man.

Posted 8:18 PM by Gene

I'm not crazy about Art Spiegelman -- that first name says it all -- but he wrote something quite sensible about 9/11:

"I finally understand why some Jews didn't leave Berlin after Kristallnacht," he said, reading from a projected panel of his book. "Though he would never own an 'I Love New York' T-shirt, he had a pang of affection for his familiar, vulnerable streets."

Posted 8:02 PM by Gene

The Tonys just started. Time for the NOO YAWK INTELLIGENTSIA to SMIRK.

What did YOU do about AIDS?

Posted 7:49 PM by Gene

Ho-hum, OMERTA didn't like Reagan -- and he printed his editorial in the news section using the excuse that, well, they didn't have TIME.

Remember, OMERTA, it's only the CLERKS who ever have to hear the obscenities when they cancel.

Posted 5:53 PM by Gene

Jelly beans.

Posted 1:52 PM by Gene

Loony holy-rolling leftists tell The Osama Channel they're sorry.

I think if we apologize the big O will surrender, don't you?

And here in a nutshell (nuts come from somewhere) is the holy-rollers' creed:

FaithfulAmerica.org believes in the common good and in community – local, national and global. We reject a go-it-alone culture that reduces our politics and our personal lives to selfishness and fear. We accept the separation of church and state, but not the separation of moral principles from politics.

Drawing on our country’s founding values and the profound social justice message at the heart of every major religion, we stand for:

* Respecting the dignity and equality of all people as part of a single human family;

* Working to end human suffering in all forms and in all places;

* Promoting unity, inclusion and peace among all people and all faiths;

* Acting as stewards of God’s creation;

* Practicing and promoting respectful, sincere political & religious debate that looks for truth on all sides and seeks only the common good;

* Striving in our own lives, as a community and as a nation to live up to the values we proclaim and being honest with ourselves when we do not.
End

Replace every word with "blah" and it means the same thing.

They're also opposed to genocide in Rwanda. Uh, rollers, isn't it a little late for that?

Hey PAUL! Here we roll the drums and toot the horns and what do we get? "COMING MONDAY, JUNE 7"! We gotta do BETTER next time!

Posted 11:54 AM by Gene

Little Jeffrey says GE Bancorp isn't a "conglomerate." It's "a multi-business company."

When you think of Little Jeff's firm, Wal-Mart and BILL's empire of bug breeders you think of much of what is wrong with America.

Posted 11:49 AM by Gene

Horse racing, the sport where the jockeys train by throwing up, the sport with FIX as its middle name, the sport where the average spectator is a newly-engraved tombstone, deserves no respect when EVERYONE in the business must APOLOGIZE for the fact that A LONGSHOT WON.

What was the horse supposed to do? Stop in its tracks, hold out a hoof and yell, "You win"?

I don't think most horses can talk anyway.

Posted 11:34 AM by Gene

It is useless to ask a question like, "What do George W. Bush, 'Trent Duffy, a White House spokesman,' Wesley Clark, Lynne Cheney, Dan Quayle, Abu Ghraib, the Family Research Council, Tom DeLay, Roy Cohn, Jesse Helms, 'Arthur Finkelstein (the guru who ran Jesse Helms's HOMOPHOBIC senatorial campaigns),' 'the state legislator William (Pete) Knight,' 'Jamiel Terry, an adopted son of Randall Terry,' Pat Robertson, and the Rev. Lou Sheldon have to do with the arts?" but we may safely assume that they have to do with the fact that The Gliberal was DANCIN' last night, as one of the most EEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL men in history meets up with -- THE DEVILLLLLLLL.

Why do people make fun of MODO when they should make fun of THIS TWERP?

Posted 8:59 AM by Gene

One other thing: for better or worse (mostly for worse, but that was SLICK's fault), Ronald Reagan brought show-biz to government. Of course they'd been going steady for decades, with Al Jolson campaigning for Harding, and movie stars visiting FDR; and perhaps it was inevitable anyway, as Washington and Hollywood share a psychotic megalomania and a boundless contempt for the peons; but Ronald Reagan married them. We forget though he wasn't the first showbiz type to win elective office; George Murphy entered the U. S. Senate two years before Reagan became governor, but he seems to have done it largely for fun, and he was ill for much of his one term. And as the strange career of Fred Grandy tells us, it is not very likely we will see more Ronald Reagans.

Posted 8:43 AM by Gene

Wehell (I can't resist), TWXSTERS' rag and BLUNDER have respectful cover packages on the man. It was stupid of me to say they wouldn't; they have these in preparation for years. One thing though that highlights the irrelevance of these piles of hackery: THEY BOTH USE THE SAME PICTURE!

BRUCE redux.