Eugene David ...The One-Minute Pundit |
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED: I know more than you. I make lots more money than you. I'm smarter than you. I'm sexier than you. I appear on TV all the time. I work ten minutes a day. I rule the universe. I'm going to live forever. You are an idiot. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2: A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3: I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity. --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4: News isn't news when we don't report it. PERMALINKS: THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE! Blogroll Me! |
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Posted
6:12 PM
by Gene
![]() The Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center; ![]() A Christmas tree in downtown Rome; ![]() A Christmas tree with artificial snow (it says here) in Nice; ![]() A Christmas tree at Brandenburg Gate in Berlin; ![]() A floating Christmas tree in Rio de Janeiro; ![]() A Christmas tree in Bogota's central square; ![]() A Christmas tree of sorts at "the monument to St. George at the Freedom Square in the capital of Georgia, Tbilisi"; ![]() Another Christmas tree of sorts in Gimpo, South Korea, which supposedly will stay lit until January 8, angering the neighbors; ![]() A Christmas tree in St. Petersburg; ![]() A Christmas tree in Athens, before the Parliament; ![]() A Christmas tree at a Catholic church in Peshawar, Pakistan; ![]() A Christmas tree in Bangkok; ![]() A Christmas tree in Istanbul; ![]() A Christmas tree in Warsaw; ![]() A Christmas tree at the Pennsylvania State Capitol in Harrisburg; ![]() A Christmas tree "made of 5,480 recycled bottles", in Haifa; ![]() A Christmas tree made of "29,000 mineral water bottles" in Jakarta; ![]() A Christmas tree "made with 152 lobster traps, more than 125 lobster buoys, 480 feet of garland and 3,000 white lights, topped with a 5-foot fiberglass lobster, in Rockland, Maine"; ![]() A Christmas tree and a female Santa Claus in Hyderabad; ![]() A Christmas tree on Waikiki Beach in Honolulu; ![]() The Christmas tree at Manger Square in Bethlehem; ![]() A Christmas tree in Krasnoyarsk, in Siberia; ![]() A Christmas tree in Trafalgar Square, London; ![]() And finally, a Christmas tree and a soldier of the "103rd Sustainment Command (Expeditionary)...at a military base in Balad, 80 km (50 miles) north of Baghdad." MERRY CHRISTMAS! Friday, December 24, 2010
Posted
12:18 PM
by Gene
The ASSPress does to retailing what PAUL DRECK does to the MOVEES!
Posted
12:03 PM
by Gene
RAVES from people who didn't take the multiple hints from JonBoy or Sid.
Posted
9:06 AM
by Gene
Who wants to wager the GOP yells CUT!!!!!?
Posted
8:54 AM
by Gene
![]() Thankfully not everyone has taken today off: Mark Hulbert has found a stock-marketing Pollyanna who says THE U. S. HAS COMPLETELY RECOVERED FROM THE RECESSION!!!!!!!!!! When were YOU last unemployed, Norm? P. S. at 10:18 a.m. They're drinking the happy juice in the UK too!
Posted
8:41 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:38 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:34 AM
by Gene
THR: Looking back at the years you spent releasing albums on major labels, how would you describe Duran’s experience? LeBon: We were part of the demise of the old-fashioned record industry. We witnessed it first-hand, and it was very interesting, but it wasn’t a great experience. To go from the days when people used to get grand pianos delivered to their doorstep to a time when label executives are being laid off left, right, and center is quite extreme. TRANSLATION: However many zillions of fans and cri-TICS who raved of its GREATNESS here was just another tuneless act that led to a future of nothing BUT tuneless acts.
Posted
8:16 AM
by Gene
Posted
12:52 AM
by Gene
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww SHUCKS. I guess it's because he hasn't won lately.
Posted
12:36 AM
by Gene
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Posted
3:08 PM
by Gene
Posted
2:03 PM
by Gene
TRANSLATION: ESPNCORP is doing with Its comic-books unit what PEOPLE WARNER does, meaning...FURTHER TRANSLATION: ESPNCORP OVERPAID FOR MARVEL. (Via I Want Media)
Posted
12:10 PM
by Gene
This year, 14 schools will play in a bowl game after finishing 6-6. I've got an idea -- create bowl games for EVERYBODY!
Posted
11:25 AM
by Gene
![]() Hey Conrad! Do your best Tricky Dick impersonation -- as in, "I am not a crook!"
Posted
10:03 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:59 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:55 AM
by Gene
(Second link via WeeklyStandard.com) Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Posted
3:21 PM
by Gene
Just one thing: What is the hyperliberals' equivalent of "Ah'M PRAAAYOUD t'BE a CAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYN! AmeriCAAAAAAAAAAAAYN!!!!!? Oh, they'll think of something. A [C]RAPPER, probably.
Posted
2:32 PM
by Gene
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Via I Want Media)
Posted
9:31 AM
by Gene
1. Well who knew -- MICKEY D's thinks itself a COUNTRY! 2. THE LEAKS OF THE MILLENNIUM MUST be important -- Anna Nicole Smith's in them! TRANSLATION: Some of our diplomats waste their time. FURTHER TRANSLATION: So do Guardian readers. (First link via NEWSER!) Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Posted
9:04 PM
by Gene
Why does Can-Anyone-Here-Edit-This-Rag Stengel keep issuing mea culpas for MARK!!!!!?
Posted
1:32 PM
by Gene
Next stop: DOW 800 GIGAHYPERMEGAHEXA...oh, you know the drill.
Posted
1:28 PM
by Gene
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. Granted, he spied for you. He also SPIED AGAINST US.
Posted
1:17 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:11 PM
by Gene
Or to put it another way: ![]() HONEST ABE LINCOLN!
Posted
1:03 PM
by Gene
Posted
9:18 AM
by Gene
Why not? They've burned in on everything else.
Posted
8:34 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:25 AM
by Gene
Doctors, nurses, ambulance drivers -- yep, you employ a lot of people, Julie. (Via the usual AHTSJournal) Monday, December 20, 2010
Posted
7:56 PM
by Gene
Does this mean we should now call the maker of Post-It notes an INTERNATIONAL company?
Posted
2:20 PM
by Gene
Kate hails from Durham, North Carolina—the land of Jesse Helms and Lucky Strike tobacco, neither of which she likes. Haven't you heard, Kate? Your state's gone BLUE!!!!! (Via NEWSER!)
Posted
9:15 AM
by Gene
Yes, we can imagine. But does THE ORIGINAL TV NEWSER!!!!! really have to tell us the network denture-adhesive pushers stink? (The usual Romy link)
Posted
9:00 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:53 AM
by Gene
A TRIUMPH FOR THE AGES!!!!!!!!!! ...and in New York... CHOKE!!!!! CHOKE!!!!! Any "news" organization that can put forth two such bald-faced frauds falls into the latter category. It also prints in Boston, meaning it can preen there too.
Posted
8:49 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:44 AM
by Gene
(Via Seeking Alpha)
Posted
8:42 AM
by Gene
And we dare say Big Macs are better. Which reminds us: given this kind of genius maybe every movee should lead off with an apology. Sunday, December 19, 2010
Posted
4:53 PM
by Gene
John Serba is the full-time film critic for The Grand Rapids Press. He has a B.A.in [SIC] English from Aquinas College, and has written about music, pop culture and film for the Press since 1996. It's highly unlikely that anyone will ever be able to convince him that there are better films than "The Empire Strikes Back," "Pulp Fiction," "Apocalypse Now," "Annie Hall," "Notorious," "Unforgiven," "A Clockwork Orange," "Raising Arizona," "Fitzcarraldo" and "Fight Club." When he's not working, John spends his time practicing free thought [SIC!], and obsessing about the Detroit Red Wings, heavy metal, "The Simpsons," the newspaper comics page and his dog and cats. Read his film reviews here: http://www.mlive.com/movies/ Read his blog, Project Mayhem, here: http://blog.mlive.com/projectmayhem/about.html Contact: jserba@grpress.com Perry Seibert fell in love with movies at the tender age of 7 when Indiana Jones ran away from the giant boulder. Lucky to come of age at the same time as the VHS boom, he spent his teen years gorging on the best of American seventies cinema acquiring a taste for Martin Scorsese, Jonathan Demme, and Woody Allen. After overdosing on foreign films and classic Hollywood during his college years at the University of Michigan, Perry found work as an editor at the All Movie Guide where he remains gainfully employed. Perry’s Desert Island 10 – not necessarily the 10 best, just the 10 I can watch anytime, anywhere and still get something from: 1. Taxi Driver 2. Rules of the Game 3. The Godfather 4. Miller’s Crossing 5. Singin’ in the Rain 6. Blue Velvet 7. Something Wild 8. A Hard Day’s Night 9. Do the Right Thing 10. Before Sunset He can be contacted at pseibert@macrovision.com, can be read regularly at http://www.allmovie.com/, and his favorite seat in any theater is the center of the third row. Chris Williams is a reporter and film critic with the Advisor and Source Newspapers in Shelby Township and freelance writer with Suite101.com. He grew up in the Warren area, attended Warren Mott Senior High School and graduated with a Bachelor's in journalism from Wayne State University in 2001 with a minor in film studies. Chris has been writing for the Advisor and Source since June 2005, covering news and features in Shelby Township and Utica, along with coverage of Utica Community Schools. During that time he also started writing the film reviews for the paper, a hobby that turned into a weekly responsibility. Chris can be contacted at Chris.Williams@advisorsource.com. His reviews can be found online at sourcenewspapers.com, suite101.com and on his blog at http://shadowsandthelight.blogspot.com/. James Sanford, I [SIC] was born in Columbus, Ohio, but have lived in Michigan for the past 30 years. I started out reviewing movies for the long-gone Connections section of the Grand Rapids Press when I was a "teen reporter" (that was the actual designation on my work ID badge) in high school. I continued to do reviews throughout college when I wrote for the Western Herald at Western Michigan University. After graduation, I was the film critic for Music Revue magazine in west Michigan before moving over to On the Town magazine. I have been with the Kalamazoo Gazette for 11 years now and, in addition to my writing, I also discuss movies each week in a podcast at MLive and every Friday morning on WKFR-FM (103.3). I also host the "3-Day Weekend" segment on WWMT-3 every Thursday during the 5:30 p.m. newscast and I'm one of the correspondents for the PBS series "Kalamazoo Lively Arts," which airs in west Michigan on WGVU-35. In my spare time, I perform with the improvisational comedy group Crawlspace Eviction (our feature film "Comic Evangelists" was showcased at the 2006 American Film Institute Festival in Hollywood) and appear in a variety of shows in the Kalamazoo area. My recent credits include "Dinner with Friends" at the Knockabout Theatre, "Class Reunion" at the Kalamazoo Civic Theatre and "Psycho Beach Party," "Die! Mommy! Die!," "Said and Meant," "Bug," 'Bart the Temp," "Swindling Jehovah" and "Hair" at the Whole Art Theatre. Website blog: http://blog.mlive.com/james_sanford/ Jason Buchanan has been obsessed with movies ever since the day he was playing with matchbox cars on the living room floor while his father was watching A Clockwork Orange on television - mistakenly assuming that the cinematically-smitten toddler wasn't intrigued by the extreme oddities that were unfolding on the screen just a few feet away. Though his parents would subsequently attempt to restrict his movie viewing habits after fumbling over some particularly difficult questions regarding that audacious Stanley Kubrick classic, the damage had already been done and Jason's lifelong quest to seek out the strangest films ever produced had been set into motion. Born in Ann Arbor and raised in nearby Saline, Jason spent an inordinate amount of time perusing the shelves at his local video store during his youth - much to the contempt of anyone who happened to be with him at the time he was attempting to pick out a movie. After graduating from Saline High School, Jason enrolled in the Telecommunications and Film program at Eastern Michigan University - minoring in Journalism - and turned to the emerging internet "Grey Market" as a means of finally seeing the controversial and elusive foreign films he had been reading about for years: "El Topo," "Meet the Feebles," and "Four Flies on Grey Velvet" just to name a few. It was during this period that Jason supported himself with a job at one of the area's last "mom and pop" video stores, a place where fifth-generation copies of "Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story" and "Duck, You Sucker" purchased from Video Search of Miami sat on the shelves right next to legitimately distributed copies of the latest Hollywood blockbusters. Jason is a writer who firmly believes that every film critic should have a good bit of experience behind the camera before sitting down to judge the cinematic works of others, and since college he's been involved in the production of a number of independent features and shorts. Favorite Filmmakers: Alex de la Iglesia, Alejandro Jodorowski, Dario Argento, Mario Bava, Jim Van Bebber, Jaume Balaguero, Michele Soavi, Michel Gondry, George A. Romero, Peter Jackson, Werner Herzog, Chan-wook Park, Tsui Hark, Herman Yau, John Woo, Takashi Miike, Sergio Corbucci, Lucio Fulci, Guillermo Del Toro, Katsuhito Ishii. Favorite Films: Suspiria, Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story, Super Fuzz, Manson Family, Day of the Beast, Dawn of the Dead, The Great Silence, Dellamorte Dellamore, Santa Sangre, Jacob's Ladder, Nosferatu, Coffy, Black Belt Jones, The Devil's Backbone, Visitor Q, True Romance, Black Sunday, Uzumaki. Website: http://blog.allmovie.com/author/jasbuc/ Jim Fordyce is a nationally known award winning Entertainment Reporter. [Sic!] His previews, reviews and entertainment news are featured on the Jack Ebling show on 1320 WILS radio in Lansing, Michigan and he is the man who brings you http://mientertainment.biz/content/author/jimfordyce [SIC] the popular web site devoted to Michigan entertainment news. He has been in the media since 1972 and he has interviewed a countless number of talented people who entertain and inspire us . Among his favorite interviews: Frankie Avalon, Robert Goulet, Will Ferrell and Linda Evans Jim [SIC] lives in Lansing in his 100 year old historic house, so look for him in the home improvement store when he is not in the audience reviewing plays and movies. He proudly serves on the Boards for the YMCA, Burcham Hills Foundation, Sunsets with Shakespeare Theater Company and he is a member of the Detroit Movie Critics Guild. Stephanie Webb is the Reporter and Co-Host on "Take 5 Grand Rapids". http://www.wzzm13.com/life/programming/local/take_five/about_take_five.aspx [SIC] Stephanie got her start in television at the FOX television affiliate here in Grand Rapids ? [SIC] as a sales account representative. On a whim, she started doing voicework which lead to an on-air "Entertainment Host" position at the station. She also has experience as a media-buyer and in public relations planning.When not at work, Stephanie enjoys catching up with "US Weekly", "In Touch", "Star", "InStyle" and other celebrity magazines; she also enjoys cooking, landscaping, yoga, and watching Mafia movies. Stephanie and her husband, Jack, have two young daughters.You can email Stephanie at stephaniewebb@wzzm13.com Oh and did we mention? Debbie Schlussel's a member too! She knows at least as much about movies as CHARLES JOHNSON did before he reformed! Pffffffffffffffffft!!!!! And NOW, as THE WRAP mentions them, here are the members of THE HOUSTON FILM CRITICS SOCIETY: Ooooooooooooops! Dead link!
Posted
4:48 PM
by Gene
Survey: More Fox News, more climate doubts Which could just as easily read: Survey: More New York Times, fewer climate doubts Which could just as easily read: Survey: More Fox News, more conservative Which could just as easily read: Survey: More New York Times, more liberal SO WHAT?
Posted
4:24 PM
by Gene
And we are sorry we didn't mention Sgt. Giunta when this made news. We should have. (Second link via Contentions)
Posted
3:10 PM
by Gene
Posted
3:05 PM
by Gene
Posted
2:33 PM
by Gene
(Via the especially irritating Ahts & Letters Daily)
Posted
2:23 PM
by Gene
(Via the frequently irritating AHTSJournal)
Posted
2:05 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:57 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:40 PM
by Gene
I wonder -- would His Incompetence do the same?
Posted
1:38 PM
by Gene
Or maybe Democrats still run the government.
Posted
1:37 PM
by Gene
Orders for durable-goods fell a sharp 3.4% in October with widespread declines across sectors. JPMorgan Chase economist Mike Feroli said analysts will want to see whether the weakness in October was an aberration. “Everything else is clicking, we wouldn’t want to see business spending roll over,” Feroli said. Who's to say this whole "recovery" isn't an aberration?
Posted
1:31 PM
by Gene
(Also via Seeking Alpha)
Posted
1:21 PM
by Gene
TRANSLATION: In the Wall Street Casino, only the house wins.
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